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I'm done being the side character in my children's story
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- čas přidán 6. 08. 2024
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#becomingthemaincharacter #maincharacter #motherhood
Life is a lot of losing yourself, finding yourself, and rediscovering yourself. Beautiful video
When you have kids, caring for yourself is a selfless act.
I want to be happy -- because I want my kids to feel they have the right to be happy. I want to model independence, so they can fly when they are ready.
If my happiness is contingent on theirs, and my world revolves solely around them, when we all get older they might feel burdened by debt and like they have to mold their lives around making ME happy to pay back my efforts. I dont ever want them to feel that burden. I also dont ever want them to feel guilt for chasing their own happiness (Im fighting that guilt monster and stopping it at my generation).
Modeling happiness, self-care and individuality is such a great gift you can give to your kids
Absolutely love your perspective and approach to parenting, thanks for sharing this video. You make me feel so much less afraid to have kids! You seem like a great person and a great mom.
Thank you, it has been a roller coaster but I’m so thankful for my boys
Absolutely all of this. I felt so energized when I started waking up a few hours before them, going to a workout class, coming back showering having coffee running an errand, maybe even watching something and planning the day ahead. All on my own without distractions. WOW I didn’t know I could be that person but I felt so much more human after that. Ladies, if you’re a SAHM and your baby/child is sleeping well, give it a go. It’s so worth it! It doesn’t necessarily need to look like that, but any moment of the day you can have to breathe a bit can be life changing
This was a great video thank you for sharing, you don’t often see these honest perspectives and makes me feel less alone feeling a similar way 😄 x
Loved this perspective! I am 3 years into motherhood to my son and still haven’t felt like I’ve made the shift to main character. We don’t live near family and money is really tight, but I’m excited to try and find something that fits within my limitations that is just for me!
I completely understand I have a 3 year old and a 2 year old. We live near family but they are not interested in helping. my eldest has just started nursery full time and my daughter starts soon. i can't wait to go out with my husband for a few hours alone. A lot of us can't be the main character due to no assistance 😂 or Energy. But we will all get there when our kids grow up a bit. For me it starts in January.
@@serenitysbubble2384 excited for you come January!
@@hellosambryant Thank you
Loved this video! Thank you for your vulnerability
I’m glad to share and connect!
SUCH an uplifting video, and I love the Hilda reference. I am always recommending Hilda to other parents to watch with their kids, and I could never pinpoint why I loved it so much, and I really think you hit it on the head! I love the idea that we need to be striving to be the main character of our lives and that supporting (not background) character in our kids' lives. You put it beautifully, and I love your unique take on the problem a lot of us face! :)
I loved, loved, loved this video! So relatable!
I had the widest smile when you said you're enjoying doing things by yourself without feeling guilty anymore 😊
I have been loving all of your videos lately. They resonate so much and I admire your sharing. We can show our kids that mom is a human too, can have fun, and are part of the story too -- not just in the background.
Thank you! I know I can’t be the only mom feeling this and it’s so cool to hear from everyone experiencing the same thing 😊
Yes! I relate to this so much. Very well said in all regards.
Wow I needed to hear this
I am struggling with toddler stage. He is 21mo. He can't talk yet, like a lot can his age. I will find it easier when he can talk. I am also a solo mum. Going to therapy is a break. I had to learn to be like, 'yo family, I need help' that said, I only have my dad, and occasionally my sister and my mum. Only my mum and dad can help me, when they aren't working, to allow me to actually leave the house without my kiddo. For my sister, I can go in my bedroom and that is it.
Awesome video!
Can we just admit that being a mother can just suck. You are not even seen as a human anymore it's really odd. As soon as anyone see you with your children you don't exist. It's like you are a serving robot. I 100% understand the cartoon analogy you were talking about😢 It doesn't matter how much you love your kids or how much you wanted them as soon as you have them the world doesn't see you and that's that😢😢😢.
You will be a better mom if you are a better individual. No guilt needed. You need to be able to be truly off the clock.
I love your rawness, it's refreshing to hear someone talk about real life
Thank you ☺️
That’s exactly how I’ve been living and it really does take a toll on your self esteem and happiness. I think we forget to take care of ourselves because we want our family to know we’re always there for them but we forget that our spouse/ partner is also there for us too.
I think this topic is very important. I always felt that If I would have kids, that how it must go (live spinning around them and frankly thats boring as hell) and I wanted to have hobbies an andventures... Maybe If someone would give me an example how it could be done differently, I would consider to have little gremlin of my own. I still have time, so I will be watching your videos for sure :) You are so genuine and vunerable on your channel. I really admire that. All best to you!
gosh, you hit on all the points in my mind. I'm so bored being a SAHM. Thinking of joining a pickleball league and/or getting regular exercise as that is part of my identity pre kids
This is something I needed to hear. I haven’t gone out without the kids to do something just for fun in 4 1/2 years. I would absolutely feel guilty doing that, but that’s so silly. I wouldn’t have begrudged my mom for doing something on her own. It would have been nice to see her have her own interests and things that brought her joy and excitement. Definitely something to think about.
I completely understand you, and my psychotherapist approves of this :D I want to model a lifestyle for my kids that is based on independence, and having fun with... you know, yourself and your personal time. So this is both healthy for you, and the kids.
I do have a 9-to-5 job that I love, and a daycare for our older kid (the other one is 2 months old). I feel the way you described whenever I don't work, and I am a housewife tied to a baby for a year. I am pretty extroverted, so I often meet with my friends in my solo evening time (while my husband watches movies that I wouldn't watch :)), and that fulfills me in one part, but again I want to talk to my friends about something other than kids in my life... So having something else really helps. A sport, an art project, a goal of some kind :) Otherwise, that depressed feeling that you are not enjoying and making meaning in your life lurks around the corner.
Yes! Lots of tv shows show parents as stupid, especially dads. That’s so horrible for the family dynamic. I’m so happy you are able to make these lovely changes ❤
I have yet to find my way. I absolutely thrived as a baby mom but when kiddo became a toddler, I didn't know what to do anymore. Now he's in preschool and I'm pregnant with #2. Pregnancy is really hard on me with hyperemesis so I became an absent parent for months. I'm just starting to peek out of the fog now. I'm excited to be a baby mom again but it's such a short time. I need to figure out how to find the good in every stage.
Not sure if you've ever done a video about this topic before, but it would be really interesting to hear your perspective on how you you would deal with your kids watching these videos when they are older :)
E.g. Rook hearing you say how difficult and draining he was, you saying that you were bored out of your freaking mind etc.
I'm always curious how influencers plan to approach these topics with their kids when they get old enough to watch the content.
She’s their mother all she needs to do is be honest with them… if shes a good mom and they were well loved I’m sure they’ll be fine with it 🤷🏼♀️
@@emmakate6518 let's hope so 🙂
💚
That's why people are going back to work around 1 year after birth, even though it's not easy. With second one - I feel like its gonna be even harder to manage it with work, but I will try my best to get back to my life, at least partially 😅
Also, why should we take those online moms seriously- they all fake. Don't even consider them real people.
🤩
I feel like this is what I'll feel like when I have kids, I mean I already think like that and sometimes it confuses me/makes me feel inadecuate. I don't think it's selfish to want to keep "living", thinking about yourself, doing things for you, growing, having fun, getting your needs met... it should be compatible with raising kids and being a generous caring mom. But society tells us it is not only selfish but impossible, and that scares the shit out of lots of us haha I'm thankful for people like you that is realistic and open about these feelings, reshaping motherhood for each of us is hard but necessary, and a learning curve. I want a FULL life, and for me that includes kids but it also includes me and other relationships/things I love. One day they'll be gone, one day I'll be gone, life is too short. Thanks for making this content! :)
I don’t quite understand this analogy… your children rely on you for pretty much everything, aren’t you their main character?
i agree. when children come into the picture they need to be put first always. being the “main character” is what childfree people do..
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