What The French Get About Parenting That Americans Don't
Vložit
- čas přidán 12. 06. 2023
- What The French Get About Parenting That Americans Don't
Order my brand-new book, "Know Yourself, Know Your Money"! bit.ly/2LIclKS
Start Budgeting for free with EveryDollar: bit.ly/3OnaVkl
Watch and subscribe to all The Ramsey Network shows here: czcams.com/users/TheRamseySh...
Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy
www.ramseysolutions.com/compa...
It's not an _intent_ to make their children frustrated, it's letting children learn that the world does not revolve around them.
what she stated is false tho... France does have kids menu in every restaurant
Thank you
I was about to reply the same. And there is kids menus almost everywhere.
It absolutely is intentional to treat children second rate. French culture peaked three hundred years ago, they don't try anymore but they sure love dragging others down. Themselves and everyone else. Not judging but a spade is a spade.
I live in America and that's how i raise them mine. The world does not bend to you, you have to learn to adapt to the world.
False. They do not want their children to be frustrated, they want their children to develop a mature palate and tolerate foods other than chicken tenders and fries.
Exactly! Didn’t like how she described it
Brilliant explanation
I wasn't a picky eater (except frosting; I still don't like it.) I do have a best friend who is one and her husband's hobby is cooking so she finally started expanding her palette.
But I didn't know the chicken nugget craze was so extreme until I saw an episode of Wife Swap where this boy absolutely would not eat anything else. I know parents have to pick their battles sometimes but I don't see any excuse for you allowing your child to only eat chicken nuggets day in and day out. We're omnivores; we can eat a wide range of foods but the price we pay is that it is necessary to have that variety.
Precisely the problem of the entire democratic party here in the states. Democrats have lost the plot... ENTIRELY!😂
@@sarahalderman3126if you can’t see the show that’s happening you have lost the plot. You can go from FDR to Obama on paper and not be able to tell the difference between which party is in power. The same agenda moves forward regardless.
I am Italian and this is nothing to do with frustration! We have food that is good and healthy for everybody, no distinctions!
Totally agree with this - I love the unlimited salad and breadsticks at your family's restaurant.
@@jmp8822😂😂😂
Lol. Okay true, I actually think that she picked a poor example with "kids menus" but she means in all aspects of life, kids are expected not to be frustrated. I will say as a parent of young kids though, we do not have a culture that is accepting of frustration in public. That is, if you make your kid sit bored in a waiting room instead of giving them a phone or you let them cry their emotions instead of buying them the toy or whatever you get dirty looks. And some things just aren't replicated at home. Being a kid in public is considered "annoying" by a lot of selfish, entitled adult Americans and they make the society hostile for parents to parent in public, so a lot of parents just give into their kids to avoid the shame. Whereas when my sister visited France she was shocked and amazed at how loving and caring the whole society was towards children.
And so restaurants can make more money 😂
Good point
"From failure, you learn, from success not so much."
I am French and it is true. Boredom and frustration are parts of life and every child even today should experience it. Nothing wrong with saying no to sweets, buying a new toy, playing video games. It helps get them balance and found other more traditional way to entertain themselves (read, daydream, lego, play instruments or something else). There is nothing wrong with that. Or have them do chores like putting away their clothes, vacuum-cleaning, setting the table etc... Life is no easy ride, you cant always get what you want (I'd rather see child on the floor kickin' the air than a teen or grownup acting the same). It only makes you stronger and learn to control yourself. Cheers
What makes one stronger us looking for solutions and not just giving up thinking life is bad. This is basically neglectful parenting, like we suffer in life so you kids should suffer too.
I’m sorry, can you clarify that please? Are you insinuating that this original commenter is saying that kids should suffer?
A little frustration, a little disappointment, and a little boredom - all to develop some coping and problem solving skills
Letting your kid learn to feel boredom is great, especially in this day and age
This is key
@@Hannari-xt6nr Any amount of struggle or frustration, even if very little, and ultimately resulting in a child with coping skills and a path to a prosperous adulthood, automatically ends in resentment later in life? France only teaches racism? Your words are so ridiculous it is hilarious.
@@Hannari-xt6nr true. I can attest to that.
Kids menus exist in France (I'm French), but not everywhere. It's good because the portions are meant for kids. However, we teach our kids frustration to make them understand that sometimes, you don't get what you want in life and you have to figure out how to get it yourself. But frustration has to come with an explanation. We think that giving a kid everything they want is the best way to make a spoiled, entitled monster and that doing everything for them is turning them into useless adults, unable of autonomy. Teach your kids frustration, autonomy and the value of hard work.
GREAT POINTS!!!
It's called good parenting. Kudos.
Yes! I am giving up teaching elementary school a bit early because America has lost its mind in this manner. When I was a child, the world did not revolve around me.
The right turm would rather be to teach them resilience and tolerance.
I'm sure this is the reason why North America has so many Karens around.
One of the BEST kindergarten teachers at our school would always tell parents when they asked “what does my child need to know for kindergarten?! Their ABC’s, numbers, colors, What?
Teach your child how to deal with frustration because there will be a lot of it in kindergarten. Do things that make them have to make tough decisions and sometimes makes them mad. Because as a teacher I cannot teach a student who doesn’t have the ability to feel frustration and somewhat regulate their emotions. “ And as a fellow kindergartner teacher she is spot on!!!
You missing the close quotation mark threw me off for a second. Just a second. I get it.
That makes sense. No wonder kids have such a hard time regulating emotions in the U.S. now 🤔
I was a preschool teacher and our main focus for the younger group was on teaching the kids how to use their words, and get their shoes on, basically -how to do hard things. Parents didnt realize we were "teaching" parents would try to do everything for their kid and teachers would tell the parent "he can do it..."
@@username9999 yes!!! That’s exactly how it should be.
I said the same thing at Kindergarten Back to School Night. I reminded my kids of that when they went to college. I’ll help you talk it through, but you’re ready to solve life’s problems.
Boredom is another thing that is really good for kids. Loosens their imagination. Works on adults too 😂
My favorite saying to my kids “only boring people are bored”
As a child in the 50s and 60s, I learned never to be bored around my elders. They would certainly find something for me to do. I learned not to even be visible when they were working.
Tonight, my box failed to work. I put my dog on his leash and we went for one hour-long impromptu walk, and I saw delightful colours in the sky, beautiful flowers in the gardens, and a total stranger stopped to tell me he came from a distant country where there are hardly any dogs, so he’s making his best to not feel afraid of them. We had a nice chat, my dog calmly waiting and we went out separate way. I could have gotten angry at my box, I could have felt frustrated and wallowed in self-pity, or I could have watched one more series full of violence and foul language, instead of which I partook in a peaceful moment with my dog and a very nice stranger.
When my children told me they were bored, I gave them some of my chores for the day to do. They only mentioned being bored once for some reason. 😂 American home school mom (retired- now grandma 😉) of five. I didn't have time to "entertain" my children. They invented all sorts of games for themselves!
@@AuntNutmegGreat idea!
It isn’t just in France. It’s all over Europe and beyond! We dont consciously put children into a situation which is frustrating for them, Children just learn to adapt and learn that the world doesn’t revolve around them, that they are no more special or unique than the next person.
That's sad. 😂😂😂😂 do you kick people in wheelchairs too??
@@goldenfury7231what is the correlation here?
I love the way Europeans raise their children! I'm an African who happened to make friends with young people from Germany and France when they came to our university. I was surprised how well they were trained to care for themselves and their space. Young men and women in their early twenties never complained about the foods they were introduced to, never complained they didn't have a car, they walked everywhere and took public transportation whenever they could, could cook ANYTHING and were very hospitable, they were also VERY humble and respectful. I asked about how is it that they were raised to be so self sufficient and adaptable to these new environments and culture. They attributed it to how they were raised as home. Children aren't coddled in these countries and they grow up to be such well trained, self disciplined and intelligent adults.
Helps for them to struggle,because that will help them learn,fend for themselves life is hard,it's no easy ride.
We have a kids' menu, but the real secret is that we aren't afraid to say no.
I have four kids, and none of them have ever cried or screamed in a grocery store because they know that when I say no, I mean it.
And that's work for everything like leaving the playground...
Yup, boundaries.. we’re not making them comfortable, we teach the kids boundaries. When to say No, or when to pick your battle😂
My kids are grown, but they all knew not to throw a fit if I said no. There would be consequences. I’m American. That’s rare here now. 😔
I’m appalled at how these kids negotiate to get whatever they want. I said to one dad, wow, she shoul be an attorney!! He failed to see
the humor in my comment. 🤭🤣🤷♀️
I'm an American mother and while my son is grown and just graduated University, I never ever took him into a store when he needed a nap or was hungry and I never tolerated any misbehaving. He knew if I said no it meant no. He never ever cried or yelled or misbehaved in public. And I have watched, frustrated, many times, as I see parents spoiling their children by giving them what they want because they're getting whiny about it or screaming. Or parents who take their kids out when the kid needs a nap or a meal and you really need to think about things like that for everybody's happiness. Really a lot of Americans and a lot of people around the world are not sensible parents. It's not an ethnicity it's not a nationality it's just a fact that some people are better parents than others regardless of where they're raising their children or child. My kid didn't like kid food either. He had a pretty sophisticated palate from a very young age. For his 3rd birthday he wanted Chinese food. No hot dogs or pizza.
@@Dbb27actually, at a certain age, I told my son that he could negotiate with me about things. I wanted him to learn negotiation skills. Now I did have to put my foot down when I would tell him this really means no this is a final no and you have no more permission to pursue the conversation with me. He didn't abuse it. But he did learn from it. I have no regrets about teaching my son to be a negotiator. He also ultimately obeyed me when I made it clear that that was what he needed to do.
As a Frenchy, i confirm 👍 Also in daily basis kids are used to eat veggies so it's not such a big deal
Kids eat fruit and vegetables here also. Plus Kids can order anything they want. Kids menus are often just smaller portions. But they can order from the adult menu. Theres no law against that. My kids eat sushi. Since they were 12 months old.
Alors si, on a des menus enfants et nope, on n'éduque pas nos enfants par la frustration, qu'est ce que tu racontes ?
She should see Japan: 2,5 overweight..
@@rachelbachel2 sushi is actually not healthy food
@olgaj9267 fried rolls with a bunch of mayonnaise based sauce are not healthy. Sashimi is very healthy (sliced raw fish) As is raw fish on rice
I feel like kid menus are partly for the parents… smaller portions and less expensive
This!
Or just order a regular meal as a parent and give some to your kid.
Yes absolutely!
In American restaurants, portions tend to be so big that I usually share my meal with my child. Otherwise, they share a meal together.
@@eatjonesohYou must be from Europe because they are not big at all it is a rip off the price to how much food.
We do have kids menus in France 🤷🏽♀️
Hah! Foreign corruption creeps in.
--Greetings from the USA.
I heard in France that babies get what the parents eat when they are started on solid food. I'm figure there is an introduction of single ingredient foods to test for allergies. Is this to develop a more varied palate? Or is it even true at all?
I'm German with a French Grandmother. Been with her in France each year. Outside the house, they always had something on the menu that a kid would want to eat. When we ate at her home and everybody had fancy cheese, I had "la vacje qui rit" (generic white cheese) or "Baby Bell". When she bought steak for everyone, she had mine minced so it wouldn't gross me out.
@@cathyl4622 in every Mediterranean nation that is true. Fortunately.
That’s cool is it most restaurants or is it uncommon? In USA it’s extremely common. Even a place that doesn’t serve that type of food (focused on just seafood for example) they will have standard “kid menu” foods not available on the regular menu like pizza or chicken nuggets.
Frustration creates the conditions (the neurochemicals) for neuroplasticity. You don't learn or grow much if you don't have frustration or real curiosity creating those conditions.
But it’s kind of weird that we’re talking about “frustrations” and not challenges and boundaries. You and this lady might actually mean “kids should face challenges and learn to accept boundaries”. I don’t know.
But it’s an interesting word choice. And “kids menus” is a weird example.
I wish people could appreciate the depth of what's being said here. It really is at the root of so many problems... even addictions are rooted in "inability to tolerate discomfort." It can contribute to chronic illnesses, too.
Yes! You nailed it. That is exactly the issue here, and in the U.S. we are paying a HUGE price-on many levels-for parents’ unwillingness to set clear boundaries and hold them, to impose some structure and discipline (which children desperately need, although they will always deny it), and model healthy coping skills themselves. We need to raise children to become resilient adults so that they will be able to successfully overcome adversity. They will thank us, eventually, for establishing a stable and truly loving environment in which to grow.
Couldn’t agree more! If parents constantly clear the path for their children like a snow plow their children never get to experience purposeful struggle and learn how to overcome difficulties
Not to mention the « woke » fashion: The way you feel is your problem : you deal with it in anyway you wish WITHOUT imposing it on others.
@@MicheleEngelyes you said it! I grew up with no boundaries or parental guidance and I craved structure, routine and actual parenting. Having no boundaries with kids and giving them a totally free rein is just as unhealthy as toxic overbearing parenting. Boundaries are good when you explain why they are there. Pandering to kids every whim creates entitlement and also doesn’t prepare them for real life.
BS. Kids menu exist in France. Not sure who told you that. From a French guy. And no, we are not looking at making sure our kids are going through frustrations but like any good parents (all over the world) having our kids learning to deal with their feelings is a good thing right ?
I think it was something she admired. She wasn’t suggesting it was bad, but something that we should be comfortable with.
I got the impression that she meant the children don’t eat different foods than the adults.
People seem to be getting some idea that she is calling french people bad and implying that they torture their children for fun or something. How do your children learn to deal with their feelings if they never face any frustration or difficulty? That is the whole point she is talking about that american parents tend to shelter and shield their kids, swooping in or in advance preventing them from ever facing any sort of slightly difficult situation, thus preventing that learning to deal with emotions and growth.
It's an American influence. They didn't exist before. I have seen children in Paris at 12 y.o order Beef tartare at a restaurant. The portions change perhaps, but not the type of food.
Someone said that American parents are very good at obeying their children....all too true.
Permissive Parenting; it's ruining the next generation, and as a result American will decline more than it is now with the Participation trophy generation who are now the 20somethings.
And America will take the rest of the world down with it. If all boats rise in a rising tide, all boats sink in a crumbling/desolving tide!
Excellent comment!!
I think it's because of technology. My mom and Dad both got the belt when they were younger. However, my siblings and I could watch hours and hours of TV and play video games almost whenever we wanted. Our parents didn't know or realize how much they should've limited or restricted tech use and now, here we are. Now OUR children have smart phones and ipads and tablets because some of us never built good habits with tech.
One thing that really opened my mind was the sentence, “they’ll be adults far longer than they’ll ever be children”.
So you be mindful of allowing them to remain kids while they have the chance, but when it comes to important morals, ethics and the core of their personality, you must mold them into the best person they can be as adults because they will be one for, hopefully, a long time.
This deserves more likes 👍
I’m French, we do have kids menus 😂what is she talking about !!??
I think what she means is the French don't have the American "kid food" which is just processed snacks and sugar.
I am imagining the kid's menu in France still has healthier options that are smaller in portions and easier for tiny mouths to eat. Am I wrong? 😊
@@pickleyum2405 you’re right it’s healthier with small portions.
@@pickleyum2405 Also, the food will be well-done, e.g. no medium rare meats, for safety reasons.
😂🎉🎉🎉
Who says French kids get frustrated to be eating food from the grown-ups' menu?! What an American projection that is, quite hilarious really. 😅
I’m an American kid (28) my parents never took us to restaurants with “kids” menus, I’ve eaten “adult” food my whole life.. 😶 I liked veggies and meat..
May be she get frustrated when she went to France...
She did say it was her understanding of a cultural difference. She didn't say she was RIGHT and had the moral high ground.
@@deefee701 It was her bizarre assumption, not any "understanding of cultural difference".
As an American, I have chosen to feed my children exactly what I eat since weaning. My kids usually are happy to eat a wide variety of foods. I also have seen folks who catered to their (NT) children's whims and ended up with kids who only eat boxed macaroni. (Not talking ND, because that's a whole other situation.)
I think in America it’s also that parents don’t want to deal with it… it’s easier for the parents if the kids are catered to. If your kid is frustrated you have to take the time to walk them through and teach them…
This exactly. The parents don't want to put in the work of parenting. They don't want to teach a task and let their kids mess it up a few times to learn. They don't want to deal with tantrums as they're trying to teach their child to deal with disappointment or frustration. Easier to just do everything for them, never tell them no, and shove a device into their hands to distract them.
My point
The thing is that kids don't get frustrated about that. When they go out with their parents they will eat healthy and good food. Why would they even be frustrated? They don't even know what kid's menu is. To me it seems like herself those Americans parents she is talking about are the one frustrated because in order for your kids to enjoy real meal outside home you as a parent need to teach them about real food at home. The taste of the child is first develop at home by parents and yes that takes time which can frustrate parents but isn't it their job. The audacity to put the blame on child frustration lol !!!
@@HereDiianas You typed up all that while not even understanding what they were saying.
Lol, I thought the kids menu was to keep the parents from getting frustrated.
Omg I love this comment so much! 😂
How is the kid going to be frustrated by something he never had in the first place? If all you have is adult menu then the kid won't know he's missing out on another type of food so no frustration.
We have kids menu though. When you have kids you know what kind of restaurant has kids menu. You don’t go to a gastronomic one expecting that, it’s the same in the us lol.
@@n0rmal953Just adding to your point, also, if we do go to a bistro or a gastronomic restaurant, then almost always the chef and staff are able to accommodate a child. Not in the sense of "nuggets and fries" but every restaurant has good bread and butter, usually they can bring simply cooked vegetables or a purée, some meat or fish... Last time that we were at a nicer place, my toddler, who had been very well-behaved the whole time, asked if he could possibly have a bowl of strawberries for dessert... The staff were delighted at the polite request and could accommodate as they had fresh ones in the kitchen.
But I suppose I know a lot of adults who politely make adjustments to their meals as well mdr so I guess we're still treating our kids in a more adult way 😂
@@sarahberlaud4285 as a kid I remember that being possible as well but generally you don’t go unless your kids are well behaved and can at least try this type of food.
Not really interesting for the kids if they hate the menu lol. Or not mature enough to try.
@@n0rmal953 I completely agree. But, for example, if there's a big family dinner (like Papy's 85th birthday or something), you need to try. Of course, it depends on the child, but all the kids in our family are really well behaved out and about, and they like a wide variety of foods, so I can imagine that my perspective isn't the same as some others! (We are a French family, but are living in Canada now... we do let our son eat McDonald's, but also do our best to find great, varied, and healthful products here)
There are definitely kids menus in France 😂 but I agree with this general philosophy!
Kid’s menu in Europe usually mean small portions and not spicy food. It’s not about frustration, kids need healthy food that’s all.
I don t know about spicy. If by spicy you mean chillis, then yes, we don t give chikdren that. But all the food in Europe has flavour and seasoning. And they do eat that
@@alex.profi27 yes by spicy we mean hot food like chillis. We don't think non-hot spices are bad for kids.
@@Cloudipy that s we do in my country. We don t usually give them chillis( as in the pepper).
Here in Austria the most common childrens food is Schnitzel with french fries. Not so sure about healthy to be honest 😂
@@j.a.1721 yeah, in Denmark is also usually nuggets with fries and a small salad hot dog or pasta bolognese on the kids menu. But it's because the point is for it to be a treat, something you do once in a while, not on a daily basis. I think the culture around going to a restaurant is very different in US.
The parents must get frustrated paying full price for a small child's meal 😂
Maybe some do but I doubt it...I lived there for a while. Portions are more reasonable to what a meal should be. So, it's not a ton of meat or pasta or whatever where you can actually have another 2 or 3 meals with what you bring home from the restaurant. It's sad that generally American kid's meals are unhealthy: pizza, burgers, chicken tenders, mac and cheese, etc.
French meals aren't "all you can eat" buffets. They have lots of serves with different things on them, so a child would simply have less serves ordered. In the US it's one big container with everything plus a drink. Think of it this way, both cultures pay for the food, not the table, but if it's a big plate in the US and several smaller plates, in France, it's still eaten at one table in a restaurant.
She shouldn’t be sharing this if she doesn’t know it’s true 🙄
"I don't know if its true..." Probably don't continue and then title the video as fact
Wait what ? Hmmm idk I never interpreted kids menu as coddling... but smaller portions. 🤔 😐
In some other countries the kids menu are completely different dishes. Here in Germany usually fries with chicken nuggets, fries with fish fingers and noodles with tomato sauce. But you can often order most regular dishes in smaller portions, too.
In my experience in the US, kids' menus are all about fried and processed food rather than smaller portions of regular dishes. You'll typically find hot dogs, cheeseburgers, chicken tenders, and macaroni and cheese no matter the restaurant. Some are different, but that's pretty typical.
@@eatjonesoh In Belgium too: "spaghetti bolognese" and such. Such a pity they never propose decent food but in smaller portions. Some brasseries would allow sharing, though, so I would ask for two plates and decide of the dish with the kid and we would share. Only works when they're very little, though...
Not only in France. In most countries with their own indigenous culture, who do not follow in the American step, people raise their young like that. Comfort means death, no development, and while it is nice to be comfortable, it also means absence of progress, which in case of the youth is bad, it means lack of motivation, drive, strive, ultimately lack of personal growth, which is unnatural and wrong. Stay hungry, stay frustrated, stay uncomfortable, stay young.
I like comfortable sneakers though.
They way she says, "I dont know if this is true." And proceeds to state it as true lol. Its like people who get all their news from facebook
It's actually true. Children are often not in restaurants. If they are they are extremely well behaved. If you hear a child pitch a fit in public you will hear a parent say "you have the right to have your feelings but you do not have the right to disrupt or hurt others while you aren't content.+
I don't think her object was to report news. Her object was to discuss a certain approach.
There has also been a trend toward parents of children that live within walking distance of the school to drive them to school robbing them of the independence they would have if they solved this on their own.😊
The reason America has kids menus is because all of our restaurant meals are six whole servings piled on a tray of food and children literally cannot even eat 1/10th of it.
But they aren't just smaller portions of adult meals. They're always chicken fingers and fries or a hot dog. Its the idea that children have to have everything specifically customized to them at all times.
Child friendly foods too
@@adrialee8149 that was part of my point. When we were kids, we ate what our parents ate. We maybe didn't like all of the same things, but most of it. As long as we at least tried it, we weren't forced. This idea of "child" foods vs "adult" foods is a relatively new concept. Of course kids will only eat chicken fingers and fries of that's the only thing they're introduced to.
No one has to eat a whole plate of food, in the US taking home leftovers is a big thing, and a main reason why portions are so big
@@ptowzapotato4157 absolutely. I get two or three meals out of one meal at a restaurant. Not everyone eats all of it lol.
It has nothing to do with wanting the kid to feel frustrated. There's no kids menu because we want to teach kids to eat a variety of food. They mostly eat what adults eats.
We want them to experience the world has it is, no sugarcoating.
It is not true. Come to France, you will see that there are kids menu.
Non. Ce n'est pas nécessaire qu'elle se déplace !!! Elle est très bien là où elle est ! 😂😂😂
@@yzimny8377 Un petit voyage, c'est toujours sympa 😉
I live in France and that is not truth
This exactly. The parents don't want to put in the work of parenting. They don't want to teach a task and let their kids mess it up a few times to learn. They don't want to deal with tantrums as they're trying to teach their child to deal with disappointment or frustration. Easier to just do everything for them, never tell them no, and shove a device into their hands to distract them.
And then wonder why the kid eventually gets on America's Most Wanted. Happy Trails ya'll!
It breaks my heart to know that children are being "raised" this way, like they're just being tolerated at best.
@@MDreamerIsBi look at the times we live in. Mayberry n kids being kids seems long gone. Like Zorro ya know?
This is just plain ignorance. She even says she "heard, doesn't know if its true, but sounds good to her."
“I heard” is the clarion call of someone who doesn’t use the internet
When they pronounce it “FREE-yance” you know you’re in for a treat.
Well, she's from US afterall😂
So many dumb takes in one comment section. She admits to being ignorant of the veracity of what she heard, but is saying she likes the idea. Its been discussed for decades at all levels of society and even studied in the sciences how differently different nations parent their children, and most people seem to generally agree that american parents are too overbearing and stunt their children's growth. That is all she is talking about. I have heard similar ideas about parenting in europe pushing the children more to develop toughness, emotional maturity, confidence, and independence. She is hardly the first person to express the idea.
You are using ignorant like a pejorative as if you are bad if you dont know things. All of us are ignorant of a great deal of things, individually that is drastically more that we dont know tha what we do know, the most learned person earth almost certainly knows less than 1 in a million of the human recorded knowledge that exists. It is only bad if someone confidently claims to be correct when they know they are clueless and never admits it even when proven so. She admitted it outright, and was only bringing it up as a thought to discuss.
@@elisabethhughes6005 So I assume you pronounce it "Frronce"?
It’s not about frustration it’s about providing them proper food they eat the same as adults. Same in Japan
When our kids were first eating solid food, we never ordered from the kids menu. We would get them an extra plate and they would have a little bit of everything we had (unless it was super spicy… hubs and I loooove spicy food).
My kids eat so healthy. Are not picky. Aren’t wasteful. And they appreciate the treat of going out to eat.
Love this idea, kids eat what the parents eat 😊
Having to make ends meet every month since i left their abusive dad has probably given my children the gift of frustration
I'm French, it's false! We have kid menu's! So many false ideas you have about us, and not just for education. But yes, educate a kid it's a real job, a big responsability for parents. Kid should have to learn to manage their frustration, their emotions. But it's a process, one step at the time. They learn at home, at school. Say "yes" all the time, make them confortable for everything, it's not good for kid. Adaptation is a key. They should learn boundaries, respect and live with others people. France is not better or worst for education, just it's important to teach early all the emotions . It's "ok" to have emotions and it's important to know to manage those emotions. Now, so many and too many young adults ans adults talk about their emotions, about their feelings.. woke generation, Lost generation!!!
I'm French, unfortuntetly, it's not the case for most french parents. The theory of the "enfant roi" (king child) is very much applied here, and enforced by the laws and school system.
It's not France...it's EVERYWHERE outside USA that kids do not have a "kid's menu" . It's the same here in Italy or spain or ..... only if you go to Mc.Donald you will get a kid's menu , or to some super turistic destination .
This is why as an American instead of sending kids to sleep away camp we are going to get some culture (on points) Madrid, Rome, Paris this summer in mommy camp 😊 all on points
australia has kids menus
Great points and a bonus way of spelling a few words there that actually kinda makes it an even solider meaning.
well not everywhere. UK and Australia have kids menus. Ive heard Canada and Aotearoa New Zealand too
Definitely not. In The Netherlands we have kid menus in most restaurants. My frustration is that it's mostly junkfood (fries), and my daughter wanted grown up food, just not the same amount.
Encourages critical thinking and maturity at a young age over time❤
There are other ways to teach your kids to step outside their comfort zone without making them frustrated. I teach my daughter how to order her own meals or buy something. She is very shy and to have some success in overcoming it, she has to step outside her comfort zone and ask for things she wants or needs from other people. I am there to help her but she does it. And she becomes more and more confident in herself everyday instead of frustrated at me and the community for making things impossible for kids.
Yes, I really like do be ordered around by a kid.🙄
I'm French and we do have kids menus lol 😂 however I'm not sure the education has not changed, now they either scream at their kids or they let them do what they want
Frustration as a kid is how you learn not to be entitled and frustrated in life.
Kids that are never taught frustration are actually the ones that are Always unhappy and throwing tantrums and who can't be happy with what they have, Always asking for more stuff.
So a kid that knows frustration ends up being happier both as a kid ans later in life.
As a kid i was taught early on not to ask for anything ("ne pas réclamer") and i was amazed at how some kids had it all and couldn't be happy with what they had.
I think that’s in most of Europe. Definitely in Spain!
Los niños españoles hablando sobre política a las 10 años 😂😂
Es triste 😥
So the world gets more inclusive for disabled people needs, LGBT needs… but not kids needs and we all live in a perpetual adultcentrism
But, you don't need extra foods for children... Playgrounds, yes, or at least spaces to play, if that is just integrated into everyday life, all the better... They need the freedom to move and grow and to behave like children in public, and often, at least in Europe you do have Kid' s menus, of course, but otherwise it seems that life is way more open to just integrate kids ( at least that is what the internet says, I don't know...)
I’m French and here you have kids menus at the restaurant. But it’s true about the frustration thing…
Wrap a child in bubble-wrap during his adolescence and you've just created a dysuctional and co-dependent adult. Not a fan.
It is teaching children to get comfortable with being uncomfortable; it’s a valuable lesson that I’ve seen many Americans are not teaching their kids
I think in Germany we are kind if in-between. We have kids manues, but we rarely get them as kids. We usually get a Räuberteller, to take from everyone else's plates. So we grow up to eat lots of different things and don't adapt to a small pallet. Also, we have to decide, who to ask for what and so on. And you rarely see kids with tec in a restaurant (I think city, restaurant, region depending) but kids often get pencils and stuff to color. (One motive, one page usually. )
I always lived in the Parisian suburb and I can tell you I always got the kids menu in restaurant.
I am French and a father and I have no idea what you’re talking about
😂🎉😂🎉🎉
I don't intentionally make my boys frustrated but if they get that way by themselves I let them stay frustrated for a little while they learn and usually fix whatever is frustrating them themselves. Kids learn through frustration
How is having a kids menu not frustrating? Most parts of the world, kids eat What adults eat. Isn't that what they are supposed to vs being only fed unhealthy cheese and processed food?
Kids menu in most places I've been to are unhealthy, processed or fried.
We need kids menus bc adult food is pricey
That's what I was about to say. Even if the kids menu is just 1/4 sizes of the adult food
No you don't.
You just order your meal and you share it with your kid.
Get a small plate and extra fork for kids, it is called the thief's plate.
Perfect for kids at age from two to six years.
When you go out as parents, two adults should be able to give enough from their plate to their kid.
This is the German way of eating out with the kids in a restaurant. The parents decide what is best for the family to share.
Ordering some side dishes is always an option.
Most restaurants give some small desert for kids for free.
….. but everyone in France seems unhappy 😂
My parents did that all my and my sister's life. We not only ate from adult menus, but we had etiquette classes. We were taught how to act right in public, which really isn't a "French thing", its simply good parenting.
This is why i let kids have verbal arguments. Ill stop it if name calling starts or it gets mean but Ive been pleasantly surprised watching children argue and also their willingness to apologize up front when they realize theyre wrong
Frustration is a great emotion. Something is going to happen when you are frustrated
Starting a statement with “I don’t know if it’s true” 💀what’s the point of this video again?
Whether it's true or not, the IDEA is one she likes and thinks has merit.
Bc she’s talking nonsense. As we can see she doesn’t use specific examples besides kids menu which is utterly false.
@@Maya220100 no. T’habites en france ?
😂😂😂🎉
My kids want the adult menu anyway lol
Well for the food, it's because we want our children to eat nice and healthy foods. And they are very happy with that, my british side of the family is always very impressed when they see my kids eat what they call "adult food" like fish or chicken in a fancy sauce with some rice and greens
Most parents want that for their children. You think you're the only parent who's ever fed their kid a healthy variety of food?
@@rachelbachel2 no I do not think that I'm the only one, I was responding to the video. Get mad at the american lady that says americans don't get it, not me
I’m frustrated about our regressive tax structure, lack of affordable housing. Someone rush to make me feel better
Not true about not having kids menus in France. Where did she get that from 😮 And social media is such a cancer, now people will start repeating this and believe they sound educated 🧐
I think what she’s talking about is the official canteen meals like in schools or at daycare etc because i live in france and i can tell u my kid at school gets a 3 course proper meal not a tray full of bs presented at once.
They literally serve 3 courses one after the other AT SCHOOL. and they are proper meals with salads and main course and dessert. Nothing too fancy we are talking public school here.
I'm an American, but I'm raising my child in France (my husband is French) and he's going through the 100% French education system. We are fully immersed in the French environment. Since 2009, we have not come across any other Americans, nor have I actively sought out an American lifestyle. He started pre-K in France and now he's 18 and in his last year of high school. Throughout his school years, both public and private schools provide parents with the menu a week or so in advance. Before the new school year starts, we have to fill out a form indicating what our child can and can't eat, and the school's cook will respect the child's dietary restrictions. I don't understand why she thinks the French school system menu is meant to frustrate the children. Where did she get that idea?
I don’t this is is so much about creating a meal for picky eaters but showing respect for religious and cultural restrictions and food allergies. Unless, French schools are willing to provide pizzas, hot dogs, chix nuggets and fries on daily rotations all with the healthy lowfat milk. Or is it skim milk now in American schools.
Yes, in Belgian schools it is exactly like this too but as for the children's menus in restaurants, it is the same as everywhere else in Europe. Of course we have kids menus and no of course we don't try to frustrate our children on purpose. Ugh.
Frustration is good. Otherwise they won’t learn responsability for later on and how to cope with difficult Times.
Boggles my mind why you think this is odd , do you not give them your meals at home 😳
Good point 😂
From TV I've noticed some families give their kids ready meals like the Dino nuggets and smiley faces when they get home from school and cook the adult meal later on. Always thought it was weird because I just ate whatever my parents cooked for the whole family, which was never dinosaur nuggets or smiley face potato rounds.
@@marlydnow you know why American kids a triple the size of European kids.
@@doroparker1702 we're not that far behind tbh, let's not kid ourselves
There is no frustration, when you are treated a certain way from birth you do not know any differently. As a child, you do not dictate adults what you get, you eat what is served.
I lived in France for a few years. There are no kids menus but that doesn’t lead to frustration, it just leads to kids eating normal food.
There are literally French people in the comments here saying yes they do have kids menus. You just didn't pay attention to it.
This is so good. Discomfort and boredom is where you grow. Someone close to me has raised their kids like that and they are brilliant and very independent because he makes them think on their own. He makes me so the same and I have slowly gotten better.
we had neighbors and good friends who were direct transplants from France. They expected their children to be largely self sufficient ( feeding themselves-knowing how to get home-general problem solving) by 7 years old. And those 4 girls were absolutely more independent and happy than my own at the same age. And-they are so well adjusted and successful currently. I should’ve listened.
I live in France and it's not true. They have kids menues everywhere
But is it chicken nuggets, or just small portions of regular food?
@@genxx2724🙄🙄" nuggets" ce n'est pas de la nourriture .....😢😂
😂 the portion sizes are so big I don't need to order off the kids menu. My 16-month-old will eat pulled pork and coleslaw with a side of in season vegetables and maybe some sweet potato fries off my plate.
I remember being in France on vacation, this child was screaming and complaining for no reason, his mother just told him: “a réfléchir “. Which means “go to reflect” basically. My mom was stunned, in a good way.
I moved here from Europe and I was surprised how the world is modified for children. As a teacher, so much is not seen as possible for children to do
Don’t idiolize, ask grown French people who grew up with such upbringing what kind of relationship they have with their parents, how often they require therapy or are they generally happy.
Ask a lot of them too. Not just the ones who subscribe to gentle parenting to break generational trauma. Yes, this can be an excuse to treat your children really poorly, but at the end of the day our job as parents is to teach our children how to live and survive in the world around us, without us around, not that mom and dad will always be there to save the day. They should be there for them until they can’t be, but that’s just it. One day they won’t be, and whether it’s always fun or not kids need to know how to deal when that day comes.
Dealing with emotions vs bottling and being told to internalise it or shut it are two different things.
The former will allow you be emotional during tough times but find ways and remedies to get through it. The other will ENSURE that you go through a downward spiral, use unhealthy methods to cope, or you fight or argue when your emotional cup is overflowing.
Trust me, I know how the second one can turn out. That was me and it is so many other people. It’s not healthy to bottle everything up or internalise
There's plenty for kids to feel frustrated by without making them feel like they don't belong in society. Like catering to their preferences now and again is a bad thing. I'm not saying bend to their every whim. However why shouldn't they see themselves represented?
That’s something that I’ve had to learn as a single parent of three special needs children. Even when it’s uncomfortable for me. When you’re uncomfortable, you’re growing.
No but hear me out: why do kids need kids menu when its generally fried foods ? Because you parents havent taught them to eat properly. They meet and get addicted to candy cause you allow them.
Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.
Proverbs 22:6
We don't have kid's menues in Greece either and Greeks spoil their kids sooo much. It's not about frustration, simply Greek food is designed in a way thay usually even a picky eater will find something on the table they like, also because sharing food is part of the culture.
Correct. My parents did not spoil me and I still feel their love all the time and strive hard because financially I know I can only rely on my self
Well french here, our parents used to do that and now we all have anxiety and depression from the lack of emotionnal and physical security so the majority is trying something more comforting for our kids.
That really is not True 😂
Kids menus exist in France...It's not true :)
"i dont know if this is true..."
*Proceeds to speak declaratively not knowing if it's true
French parent here. We do have kids menus almost everywhere but the rest of that statement sounds about right. It is not so much about promoting frustration for the sake of it, more about trying to teach our kids that there is more to life than instant, short-lived gratification which usually does very little to improve you a person. I guess that is why if you try to make us go into debt for anything else than our first home you'll risk being bludgeoned with a baguette. Nice channel btw.
I don’t think the fact that they don’t have a kids menu it’s to frustrate the children. In American we baby the kids way too much, I’m from Brazil and we also don’t have kids menu, they eat what we eat period. Don’t like it, stay hungry. Obviously they don’t stay hungry because in Brazil they don’t introduce sugar to kids until they are 2 years old and we eat home almost every day so kids are not that picky like American kids. There are American restaurants like MC Donald’s there too and they still have happy meals and stuff but a the other restaurants don’t have a menu just for the kids. It’s kind of crazy that some American kids only eat pizza, Mac and cheese, French fries and chicken nuggets though, all processed, unhealthy, fake food.
I can't imagine giving my daughter that stuff. My husband is from Mexico and he is the one pushing that stuff on our daughter. If it were up to me we would be eating all whole foods cooked at home but he likes fast food.
@@annaburke8537 I grew up in Brazil and we ate Whole Foods the whole week then on 1 day on weekend we would eat fast food and I think that’s a good balance. But soda was almost always off limits
I think it's kind of a south American culture. I'm from Uruguay, and same thing, we are not perfect but kids eat same than adults and sit to have meals with adults at the same time. Of course there's moments of unhealthy food, more than we would like. But as you said not sugar until 2, and here we are trying to not introduce soda until 7/8 years old. They drink some juices. Candy only on birthdays/party's.
When we said homemade we talk about no boxes or anything, just ingredients. . You have to eat, pick a fruit and pick a vegetable. In school here they don't allow unhealthy snacks anymore
@@jessicadesousa1473 that's good. We were pretty similar growing up. But my mom did get us convenience foods for some nights since she was doing everything by herself.
It’s ALSO a way to tell the CHILDREN that ADULTS come first, have the upper hand where over here the children are now being put first and ANY AND ALL RESPECT for adults has gone out the window for the last 15-20yrs here which FRUSTRATES many adults here because of all the entitled children being raised here via lazy parenting……not cute….
My children come first...always. because they are children and more vulnerable!
Used to be that way here in America. Now, no one can handle disappointment. They have full meltdowns.
Sounds normal to me. No menu you get what you get!
I totally agree everyone's made stuff so easy that we have morons in college now that can't even read
Love this! I read the French take on parenting in “Bringing up Bebe” and it was fascinating. I lived in Italy and also in Brazil and it’s so enlightening to see how people parent in different places. The US is definitely a bit of a disaster :/
A bit?? it’s a total disaster
@@judyperri9496🎉🎉🎉🎉
I had lunch with my friend who was visiting from France, her husband, and her three kids: 4, 7, & 10. I was SHOCKED. They just sat bored in the booth after we finished our Chicago pizza for like 45 minutes while we just chatted. I could just see them melting of boredom but they didn’t complain. They didn’t ask to leave the table. They just didn’t even look angry or miserable. They just looked bored but also seemed to entertain themselves with their imagination: staring at the salt and pepper shaker, etc. I’ve been to their house in France and I’ve seen them in their element. They are vivacious, energetic, polite and intelligent kids. Amazing.
Uhhh as a French I don’t really know where to put myself. Some restaurants have kids menus, some don’t. It’s not about adapting etc, really not.
People have to stop assuming we’re so different, we’re all the same