How Wayne improved his sleep by thinking of it as a friend that doesn’t need to be controlled (#36)
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- čas přidán 8. 09. 2024
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Wayne’s experience with insomnia began when he was preparing for his board exams. Because he needed to get up earlier than usual, he started going to bed earlier than usual. Unfortunately, this made it harder for Wayne to fall asleep - and, as a result, nights started to become stressful and he began to experience a lot of sleep-related anxiety.
In an effort to address this sleep disruption, Wayne started implementing a number of sleep hygiene rituals. He experimented with sleep supplements and started to record, analyze, and evaluate every aspect of his sleep. Unfortunately, these actions - although completely understandable - served only to perpetuate his insomnia.
Ultimately, Wayne got his sleep back on track by recognizing that sleep is a natural process that doesn’t require or respond well to effort. He started to go to bed later at night. He started to make some space for difficult thoughts, feelings, and emotions rather than trying to fight them, and he reminded himself that sleep always happens in the end.
This process took time but today, Wayne thinks of sleep as a friend - not as an enemy or something to be feared. He no longer puts pressure on himself to sleep and he no longer puts any effort into sleep. As a result, he sleeps well and is living the kind of life he wants to live.
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My name is Martin Reed and I am the founder of Insomnia Coach®. I offer sleep coaching services that give people with insomnia all the skills and support they need to enjoy better sleep for the rest of their lives. I also offer a free two-week sleep training course for people with insomnia at insomniacoach....
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All content found on the Insomnia Coach CZcams channel is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. The statements and opinions expressed by guests are their own and are not necessarily endorsed by Insomnia Coach LLC. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
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All content found on the Insomnia Coach CZcams channel is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. The statements and opinions expressed by guests are their own and are not necessarily endorsed by Insomnia Coach LLC. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
After watching this video my insomnia was gone after two days. I even take 1 hour naps during the day and can still sleep like a baby at night. I suffered from insomnia for about one whole year. I am so grateful for your videos!
Wow that's incredible! Did you make any changes after watching this video? Did you find that you were able to let go of the battle with sleep, nighttime wakefulness, and all the challenging thoughts and feelings that like to come along for the ride?
@@InsomniaCoach I think what helped me the most was changing my mindset about sleep. I went back to everything I was avoiding doing for the past six months because I thought it was the cause of my insomnia. I went back to drinking coffee, looking at my phone at night, taking naps during the day. The first night, I told myself "It's okay if I don't sleep, I am still going to do everything I need to do tomorrow (like studying)." That night I still did not sleep well. During the second night, I said the same thing to myself and went to sleep. The next morning I noticed I slept the whole night and felt rested, after that night, the fear of not falling asleep went away. Now I can fall asleep and stay asleep very easily.I think it was all in my mind......
@@minervasanchez-tenorio3531 So powerful - thanks for sharing!
@Minerva Sanchez- Tenorio
How is your sleep now
Is it again normal?
Did you beat insomnia ?
Hi Martin and Wayne,
Thank you so much for sharing! It’s such a timely encouragement to me! I am in week 2 of the program and is experiencing worse sleep than week 1. However my life quality is so much better as I am doing everything I can do and enjoy regardless of sleep. Your words are reassuring me that sleep will happen!
Wayne, your final remarks brought me tears. Thank you for looking out for us who is still at the other end of the tunnel! I am also deeply moved by your kind heart to help other people (the lady in your church and your patients). Insomnia is really a life lesson to learn to live a meaningful life! Thank you for demonstrating this wonderful value!
Martin, as always, thank you for your endless work and passion to help people to live a better life!
Such a big insight there, Stella - if we are living the kind of life we want to live, perhaps we don't need to be quite so concerned about how we sleep (especially when it's something we cannot control). Thank you for sharing, and thank you again to Wayne for coming onto the podcast!
I love these videos Martin! I fixed my insomnia a while ago and i love hearing others’ stories on how they ended theirs.
Thanks for letting me know! What did you find to be particularly helpful for fixing your own insomnia?
@@InsomniaCoach I basically just stopped being afraid of not being able to sleep anymore, and waited until I was really sleepy on bad nights. What really fixed it for me was sleeping and waking up at the same time every single day. My body created its own schedule and now has a set time for “automatic” sleep every night!
@@iTotalityXyZ Thank you so much for sharing! Recognizing that wakefulness is not something to be feared - that it is not a threat or a danger - can be the key to effortless sleep!
Thank you for this interview
You're welcome, Rosie - I am so grateful to Wayne for giving up his time to come onto the podcast!
This just hits so close to home , I’m a med student myself , had a similar episode to dr Wayne prior to med school exams, currently dreading my final semester exams but watching this really reassured me
Thank you for sharing, Sumeet! You aren't alone and you might just surprise yourself at how capable you can be, even when sleep might be proving difficult.
@@InsomniaCoach thanks so much for reading my comment , I think CBT has also helped me deal with anxiety , but these exams just mess it up , and idk when I don’t sleep I just feel alone , and I can’t focus. I guesss high anxiety states really aren’t my cup of tea
@@sumeetjain2973 Insomnia can definitely make things more difficult. You aren't alone, though - as you know from these podcasts!
Hi Martin & thanks for your great work. I've suffered from brain-based hypnic-jerks for a horrrible amount of years where I can wake myself up by my brain monitoring sleep on-set too much and jerking me awake each time a dream comes in and even now quickly analysing, critisizing meaning of dream content in first few seconds -thus waking me v quickly.
I have had a really tough time of it again these last 6 months, my worst ever :'/. Anyway, it seems to be improving last couple of weeks in that I have somehow built sleep confidence that I will fall asleep for a good chunk of the night from initially going to bed. I just sort of feel confident I will and I leave it alone. So that is good.
But when I wake naturally in v deep sleepy state about 4 or 5, it's as if my brain remembers it has a problem regarding this part of the night and the brain-jerks launch in absolutely horribly. So I have a confident mindset for the onset of the night and feel completely flummoxed of how to deal with the early waking, leaving me with about 4/5 hrs sleep continuously.
I don't know whether to try and link this second half of night in with my first with the same mindset or treat it differently. I don't seem to use acceptance with the start of the night because I just believe and I go to sleep nice and fast. I think I've become anxious that I need two different approaches, the relaxed belief for first part of night and acceptance/mindfulness for second because it is in the second part that I endure the problem.
I think I have 'pure OCD' because I get v obsessive about approaches, when and having more than one for different aspects or whether they can be part of the same approach -which feels easier for my 'night brain' that seems to just want to know what it's supposed to be doing!!! Sorry for such a long, over-thinking type question!!
also -thank you so much for this great video, thank you both
If you are waking around 4:00 AM or 5:00 AM, then your body is almost certainly completely done with deep sleep. Deep sleep is prioritized by the body so it typically happens right at the start of the night and the body is done with it after a couple of hours. It's also worth considering that it's completely normal to wake during the night - waking is a normal part of sleep: czcams.com/video/329oFzXmwEM/video.html
If we wake and find it hard to fall back to sleep then we either aren't sleepy enough for more sleep, our body clock might be disrupted (often caused by an inconsistent out of bed time and/or being inactive during the day), and/or we are putting effort into sleep or otherwise putting pressure on ourselves to sleep (we might also be trying to fight or avoid the thoughts and emotions our brain might be generating at this time).
My typical approach here is to allow yourself to remain in bed for as long as being in bed feels good. If being in bed doesn't feel good, you might get out of bed and do something more appealing until conditions feel better for sleep to occur. Then, return to bed and repeat this process as needed.
I hope this helps!
@@InsomniaCoach Thank you so much Martin. `much comfort & inspiration there :) esp about the deep initial sleep, thank you for all you do
@@lucylight176 You're so welcome!
Love the video and all is very relatable! Thank you so much!
I have been dealing with insomnia for about 2 years now. Just like Wayne it got chronic because of sleep-related anxiety. After a long road of different stages, my sleep is slowly improving the last months. I started to accept my insomnia more and unlike before stopped, stopping my life for it.
However, I still have intruisive, negative thoughts that I find hard to really get rid of and notice I am still hyperfocused on sleep in general. Also, before my insomnia, I saw my bed and sleep as the best place in the world and a place to escape from the 'real world'. I still haven't found that feeling back and even kind of forgot what that felt like and/or how a 'normal' person sees sleep. Could you do a video of examples of positive affirmations in regards to sleep?
I'm not usually a big fan of affirmations since the goal often relates to changing the thoughts and emotions our brain is generating - something we can't really control. (Having said that, I think my favorite would be "sleep always happens in the end"!)
I wonder if you might find a new approach helpful, Julietta. Instead of labeling thoughts as positive or negative and instead of trying to get rid of certain thoughts, feelings, and emotions you might try acknowledging them instead. You make even make some space for them and give them permission to exist. And then, perhaps most importantly, you might commit to actions that help you continue to move toward the kind of life you want to live, even in their presence?
It takes time. This was difficult for me too, but I continue to work at it. We can retrain our thoughts, however, sometimes the process isn’t as fast as we’d like it to be.
@@june8898 Thanks for sharing!
@@newshades7009 Thanks for sharing!
So good to have another interview to listen to x your interview techniques are amazing and your voice is so soothing - thank you for the work you do - you have truely saved a lot of people from the hell of night anxiety - have you thought about branching out into Anxiety Coaching?
I really appreciate your kind words and feedback, Kylea! Right now, working with insomnia clients takes up most of my time but there is certainly a lot of overlap with anxiety - so anxiety coaching may be something I can offer in the future!
Very informative!
Thanks for sharing, Minerva!
It's now 03.52. I've taken melatonin to no avail. Several attempts to sleep have resulted in a sudden wave of panic and hyperventilating. I took a cold shower about 1 am to try and alleviate the panic but spent most of the rest of the night watching U Tube and waiting for a reasonable time to make a pot of coffee, have a bite of breakfast and then go back to bed from about 0700 to 0900. This has become a pattern for the last few weeks. Four straight hours sleep would be ecstatic. At least I've had an hours distraction watching your video. I'll probably catch up with you on your next session.
vicksdad Yet another bad night here too.. you are not alone ...and it can and will get better. We are learning & going forward all the time, make sure you note & enjoy the improvements (even if they slip back) -Lucy
That sounds like a hard night. Are you currently observing any kind of sleep schedule or "sleep window"? A consistent (and appropriate!) sleep schedule might help create significantly better conditions for sleep by building sleep drive and strengthening the body clock. Here's an overview of the process: insomniacoach.com/sleep-restriction-therapy/
@@lucylight176 Nobody is alone in this! Thanks for offering your support!
@@InsomniaCoach Thanks for the link, this looks like a promising idea and I will certainly give it a try. Having spent thirty years as a shift worker I'm no stranger to being awake, or asleep at unusual hours. As Lucy says, 'it can and will get better...' (I hope)
@@vicksdad Do report back in a week or two and let us know how you're doing!
Please help me how can I contact you directly, my insomnia is terrible I have tried all kind of medication now I'm not taking anything just melatonin but I can't no more,God bless you.
You can reach me here: hello@insomniacoach.com
How to get back to sleep after you have slept for two hours
Unfortunately there's no magic sleep switch we can flick to make sleep happen - it's often all our attempts to make sleep happen that end up making it more difficult.
Did he then become Wayne Sleep - the ballet dancer and actor?
I don't think so - but he did reach his goal of becoming an optometrist!!