How Maria faced the fear of insomnia and found all its power came from how she responded to it (#49)
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- čas přidán 3. 08. 2024
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A couple of years ago, Maria experienced anxiety and panic attacks. When she didn’t sleep for over 72 hours, she felt that something was wrong with her. She feared that the chemistry of her brain had changed and her days became dominated by sleep-related thoughts and worries.
Medication didn’t seem to help. Maria felt lonely, confused, and afraid. She felt that she couldn’t even leave the house because things were so difficult. She withdrew from doing things that she enjoyed. She found it hard to focus on anything other than sleep.
Feeling completely stuck, Maria committed to a new approach. She started to leave the house and went for short walks - even when her mind told her that wasn’t possible. Taking baby steps, she started to do more of the things that mattered to her.
Perhaps the most helpful change Maria made was facing the fear of insomnia. Instead of trying to fight or avoid insomnia and all the difficult thoughts and feelings associated with it, Maria started to allow it to exist. She would even start to welcome it, whenever it chose to show up - and, by doing this, Maria found that insomnia started to lose its power and influence.
She soon discovered that she didn’t need medication to generate sleep. That she didn’t need to do anything to make sleep happen. And, that trying to fight or avoid insomnia and the difficult thoughts and feelings that often come with it only set her up for an ongoing struggle that made everything more difficult.
Maria realized that insomnia’s survival depends on how we respond to it. And, she is 100% sure that with the right approach, no matter how bad your situation might be right now, you can recover.
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My name is Martin Reed and I am the founder of Insomnia Coach®. I offer sleep coaching services that give people with insomnia all the skills and support they need to enjoy better sleep for the rest of their lives. I also offer a free two-week sleep training course for people with insomnia at insomniacoach.com/sleep-train...
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All content found on the Insomnia Coach CZcams channel is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. The statements and opinions expressed by guests are their own and are not necessarily endorsed by Insomnia Coach LLC. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
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All content found on the Insomnia Coach CZcams channel is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. The statements and opinions expressed by guests are their own and are not necessarily endorsed by Insomnia Coach LLC. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thank you so much, you save me. My life is improving each day, the key that help me is by not worry even though I didn't sleep well, I make my day normal each day, I didn't chase the sleep that I lost. I don't put any effort on sleeping when I go to bed
Thank you so much for sharing! Doing what matters and moving away from all that effort, trying to control things that cannot be controlled, can be so helpful!
Thank you, this was so helpful ❤
When we wake up and cant go back to sleep, I find it useful to meditate. Watch my thoughts feelings and sensations quietly. Without judging. Listening to the sounds of the night or the fan.. If i do that, i often fall asleep without realizing. I love your approach.. ❤
Maria is a such smart and strong young lady, I can completely relate to her insomnia journey, many of us insomnia people have experienced similar situation especially the anxiety towards sleep issue. I have suffered from insomnia for a year, it was totally painful experience that ever experienced, luckily I found CBT-I treatment especially found Martin’s video. Martin’s guidance , encouragement and explanation are so clear and effective, I’m so grateful for Martin ..we all love you, please don’t stop doing what u are so gifted to do ! Thank you so much for sharing this video !
Thank you for your kind words - I am so grateful to Maria for coming on and sharing her story.
Dear Michelle. If you read this, ... would you mind answering when you realized the first improvement and were you believing from the very beginning in CBT-i or were you sceptical?
@@Freydis_MAximus Dear Nina, when I had my first improvement I felt happy and given me the confidence to continue to practice the CBT-I technique. Off course, there’s many sky bumps happen during the process, as time goes on and it gets better & easier to practice. My sleep now has been pretty good but not perfect, i sometimes still have restless night but i learned to accept that and be peace with it. I hope I answered your question, cheers !
It seems easier to deal with when the sleepless nights or poor sleep can be or are attributed to an external event. Such as something happening to a family member or friend or break up or red eye or loud party. And something like a loud party or red eye can actually reinforce your sleep confidence the next night.
Love this video. Sometimes I find on sleepless nights that I get more less frustrated by the lack of sleep at night, but more the anticipation of the fatigue I’m going to have to power through during the next day and acting like nothing is wrong. (Not giving insomnia attention). That’s the hard part for me, but I know I can’t “hyper focus” on the sleepless nights.
Yes, that's quite common! We can be so unwilling to experience the difficult thoughts and feelings associated with insomnia that we can end up developing difficult thoughts and feelings in anticipation of experiencing difficult thoughts and feelings! This is why it's so easy to end up feeling stuck - and why an approach that involves moving away from trying to fight or avoid certain thoughts and feelings can be helpful!
@@InsomniaCoach Thanks for your insight! Are there any positive affirmations we can tell ourselves when we are experiencing high fatigue during the day to get us through it?
@@AaronSalem Generally speaking, I am not big on affirmations because I think they can easily be used in an attempt to control what we are thinking or feeling - and that can set us up for a struggle. What I think can be useful is to acknowledge whatever we are thinking and feeling, to be kind to ourselves in return, and then to refocus our attention on where we are and what we are doing, even when thoughts and feelings (such as fatigue) are present.
the cure .. just say IT IS WHAT IT IS ... got it ...
Some people might mistake "it is what it is" for giving up. I think it's about acknowledging what we cannot control (so we can move away from a struggle that can make things even more difficult) and committing to things we can control (so we can move toward the life we want to live and do things that matter even when difficult stuff is present).
Facing the fear method i love this. My first night off mirtazapine last night. Wasnt great sleep but i now have this face the fear attitude and willing to experience it.
How are you doing now?
@jenniferlee9029 I'm getting there I think. My sleep isn't perfect but I'm sleeping about 6 hours finally started falling asleep a bit faster but now I'm waking up early and can't get back to sleep. But il take that over onset insomnia anyday. The first couple weeks I used a sleep window and stimulus control getting out of bed which I think helped. I was falling asleep on sofa but when I went to bed the awarness of not sleeping aroused me up so i got up sat downstairs for 20 mins and reset. I'm far from out the woods but I'm definitely improving. It's still in my thoughts alot but not as bad as it used to be. I think being willing to experience it and not react in a negative way also helps. Easier said than done when you are sleep deprived and anxious as hell. Since Christmas I probably turned to a 7.5 mirt once a week on a tough night but most nights I use nothing.
@@danh2310 oh can you use it on a as needed basis? I have mirtazapine too and i always wondered if i could use it as needed instead of every day? Thanks 🙂
@jenniferlee9029 only at 7.5 or less u can use as an when
@jenniferlee9029 really it's not ideal using now and then. How's your nights looking?
Thanks I’ve been struggling with sleeping for a week and I’m terrified this is the beginning of the end. I am sleeping but not well at all and it’s literally all I can think about. I find eating difficylt and I’m so scared. However, trying this the last few days did help abit. What I fear most is the exhaustion the next day, and I’m dreading the night I suddenly don’t sleep at all. Do I feel more exhausted becayee I think I am ?
❤
Great video. We always afraid of facing the fear. I want to face the fear but thoughts come to mind the if I will get 3or4 sleepless night then will i cope up
That fear can feel so powerful, right? It's something that's being generated by your mind as it does its job of looking out for you and you always get to choose how to respond to it.
What should I do Martin. Make things happen
@@user-is7ly9oo2p If you think my approach might be helpful for you, you may want to consider my six-week online course - you can work through it alone, or with email access to me for any questions/individualized coaching. All the details can be found at insomniacoach.com. If you have any other questions, feel free to email me at: hello@insomniacoach.com
I feel the same way. It feels like I have lost the ability to sleep.
Are you sleeping now? Please reply, I'm facing insomnia so badly ...
@@priyankasarkar1084Hey Priyanka how is your sleep now ?
I'm diing better now but not cured. @@rishabhchakravarti7287
Not recovered yet but little better now@@rishabhchakravarti7287
Hey Martin is it safe to say that no matter what disease one may have that may interfere with sleep, (except for fatal insomnia) one will always have the ability to sleep?
I would say so! As for "fatal insomnia" that's so rare it's virtually non-existent. It's a genetic neurological disease that has been described in the medical literature in about 24 people (out of a world population of almost 8 billion people).
Did Maria have withdrawal from the medication?
How did Maria get off the medications? did she slowly taper or stopped cold turkey?
I stopped cold turkey as i came to the point where i was terrified with the detrimental impact of sleeping pills on my mental Health - i felt depressed morning after taking them
does anyone know whcih video she is talking about where he talks about nothing can happen to you if you don‘t sleep? :)
I believe Maria was referring to this video where I talk about how we never lose the ability to sleep: czcams.com/video/88YtI4WeNsQ/video.html
Can you get insomnia from chemical in your brain being off?
Insomnia can be triggered by any number of things. If it sticks around long after the initial trigger is no longer present or relevant, or if there's no obvious or diagnosed cause then it's usually down to a change in our approach to sleep - the more we try to make sleep happen, the more difficult it can become.
What happens when absolutely nothing works?
The answer is in your attitude. You thinking nothing will work then it won't.
I keep waking up with gas and hotflashes. I am demoralized. I am looking at foods that might be causing gas.
I've learned it's important to treat and heal the digestive organs, avoid foods that trigger us. More veggies and avoid eating after 7pm. Eat light dinners.
3months ago I’m suffering from anixety and they results Me insomnia I don’t know what can I do
How are you doing now ?