Top 5 Reasons Narcissists Say "I DO "

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  • čas přidán 13. 01. 2024
  • In today's video we are exploring the most common reasons that Narcissists get married, and say "I Do." If you are married to a narcissist, have divorced a narcissist, or know someone in this position, then today's video is a must see. #narcissist #npd #gaslighting
    #whynarcissistsgetmarried #mentalhealth #clusterb #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #narcissisticwife #narcissistichusband #narcissisticfamily #personalitydisorder #mentalabuse #emotionalabuse
    Jill Wise, otherwise known as The Enlightened Target, is a life long survivor of narcissistic abuse. She was raised by a malignant narcissist and married to a malignant narcissist, she has endured years of parental alienation, has repeatedly been targeted by narcissists throughout her life. She has an intimate understanding of all aspects of narcissistic abuse and Cptsd. She uses her experience and what she has learned to help educate others and bring awareness to narcissistic abuse. She is also a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach and works with clients all over the world heal from the trauma of narcissistic abuse, parental alienation and Complex Ptsd.
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Komentáře • 59

  • @BeeBeeBell
    @BeeBeeBell Před 6 měsíci +26

    They do it for the long game. Income, roof over their head, retirement.

    • @user-kw7hs6do1y
      @user-kw7hs6do1y Před 4 měsíci

      Yes! My Ex Wife. She put me to a shocking and disgusting "Test" when we were dating. I should have been done. But, I was Co-Dependent at the time. She remarried wealthy, and once told me, "As far as I am concerned, my husband is the kids' father", my only daughter got married last year and I wasn't invited. Her husband is President or Vice President of a Bank, a C.P.A., yet she has control over their household finances. Lol good riddance.

  • @csh43166
    @csh43166 Před 6 měsíci +31

    Check, check and check 3 more times. I used to tell people that, if my ex thought he could get away with it, he would've blamed me for everything from the rain falling from the sky to the starving children all over the world. Thank you, Jill - I don't think you know just how much you help us. The knowledge you spread is so important on so many levels. ❤

    • @missleeny5042
      @missleeny5042 Před 6 měsíci

      Not only accurate but alao something that comes up in my own situation all the time . I tell the TNH (toxic narc from hell) that : "if the sun doesnt come up tomorrow , that will be my fault too" . Im fed up w these sick bastards and dont get why people arent seeing that much of the worlds suffering comes from people raising their male children as little Gods , to be woshipped . Stop Toxic masculinity ; or as i call it : Sacred Boy child syndrome .

    • @missleeny5042
      @missleeny5042 Před 6 měsíci

      Not only accurate but alao something that comes up in my own situation all the time . I tell the TNH (toxic narc from hell) that : "if the sun doesnt come up tomorrow , that will be my fault too" . Im fed up w these sick bastards and dont get why people arent seeing that much of the worlds suffering comes from people raising their male children as little Gods , to be woshipped . Stop Toxic masculinity ; or as i call it : Sacred Boy child syndrome .

  • @ladyvirgo9514
    @ladyvirgo9514 Před 6 měsíci +14

    Such mind bending realization that my entire marriage of 12 years was a complete LIE 😈

  • @adriennedouke1880
    @adriennedouke1880 Před 6 měsíci +28

    All about them, what they want, what they need, kind of like owning a car to them.

  • @mikehess4494
    @mikehess4494 Před 6 měsíci +17

    Thank you...Narcissists have a dictator personality.

  • @MissKim671
    @MissKim671 Před 6 měsíci +26

    Excellent, insightful, honest, and completely TRUE FACTS. My mother is on her 4th marriage and she COMPLETELY controls him 😢. She humiliates him in public, in front of his friends and family with sheer pleasure and delight and lately, she's been starting a smear campaign suggesting that he has Dementia (which I totally disagree with). She has isolated him from his family, his daughters, and his closest friends. My heart breaks to him 💔 😢 and I feel totally helpless 😢.

  • @Suzu52
    @Suzu52 Před 6 měsíci +13

    Mine did it because all his peers and Co workers had all been married and started families...
    Silly me- I thought he loved me.

  • @sierramccutchen3531
    @sierramccutchen3531 Před 5 měsíci +4

    Thank you for these insights. As a daughter of a male narcissist have always been curious why my dad married my mom when he was never a part of any family activities and seemed to hate us all.

  • @jusbe47
    @jusbe47 Před 6 měsíci +9

    💯 Horrifying. It's horrifying. The only thing more horrifying than realising you've been in this dynamic for years and years is working out how to get out alive, intact, and with your assets. Every day is a battle to forgive myself for becoming a victim to a proficient covert narcissist. And every day since I told her I want a divorce has been one where she smears me continuously and especially to our children. I wish I could wash it all off me.

    • @ma3alimezo82
      @ma3alimezo82 Před 5 měsíci +1

      Be careful because if u haven't already experienced it, she has already been setting you up and collecting evidence against you. She will strike you first, and people will struggle to believe you. You got married and believe in loyalty and honor. She didn't. She likely had many y previous men in her life. She been around the block. And then looked for a nice guy. Sadly your true qualities were never valued. You meant to offer materials and be a kind of slave.

  • @B.LES.S1
    @B.LES.S1 Před 6 měsíci +9

    So glad to have left that

  • @edwardspriggs5076
    @edwardspriggs5076 Před 6 měsíci +3

    They are very much like a human haunted house, they look peaceful on the outside but once you're hoked in they want to keep you, control you and vent their trauma on to you at will. So you'll never have lasting peace of mind, until you leave them.

  • @douglasmiller1212
    @douglasmiller1212 Před 5 měsíci +2

    Wow, you've obviously lived this. I don't know why I was laughing, in an "OMG-yes!" sort of way. It was so liberating and validating to feel like you'd been sitting on my shoulder watching what unfolded for the last two years.

  • @thewanderer6637
    @thewanderer6637 Před měsícem

    I can't thank you enough for your platform. You are absolutely the best. I have been married to a narcissistic wife for over 30 years. Hero to zero. Mentally, emotionally and physically broken. But healing is easier when listening to you. Words can't express my gratitude towards you. Thank you so very very much. From a sunny South Africa.. ❤🌹

  • @stevengalindo7932
    @stevengalindo7932 Před 4 měsíci +1

    You just described my dad, and all three of his marriages! Thank you!

  • @helloDobson3259
    @helloDobson3259 Před 6 měsíci +4

    Married one (Divorced, but sadly, not soon enough). You nailed it with this list.

  • @davesimon3861
    @davesimon3861 Před 5 měsíci +2

    I was married to a narcissist when i left after being manipulated by her for year's it became obvious she was a cheat ! Numerous time's with so called friends ! I didnt want to believe it and she was very good at lying and took me years to suss her out . I left her living in france with her father. Her reason for wanting a divorce was i left without permission 😂😂 i never gave her a divorce i ignored her completely. Now i have my own mind and do as i please without feeling guilty. Graet vid 👍

  • @user-tf4uj2fs8o
    @user-tf4uj2fs8o Před 4 měsíci +1

    My covert narc mother locked down my empathetic Father down by marriage getting pregnant and threatening to tell his family nasty lies about him . My father would have died before letting that toxic evil woman near his family , that’s what kept him trapped in a life of constant abuse and me and my sisters

  • @user-kw7hs6do1y
    @user-kw7hs6do1y Před 4 měsíci

    Thank you Jill! You just made me love being Single and Celibate.

  • @user-di7zj2ut9j
    @user-di7zj2ut9j Před 6 měsíci +5

    This IS my Story 😂😂😂you are so great! The best Video which explains it all….

  • @user-qv9nw1dq2f
    @user-qv9nw1dq2f Před 4 měsíci

    You have nailed it Jill. It’s so very sadly true.

  • @robeastwood2093
    @robeastwood2093 Před 2 měsíci

    Thank you Jill. Wow.! Good advice and understanding. Great video.

  • @dukemetzger3784
    @dukemetzger3784 Před 6 měsíci +2

    Seriously a very good description of the Narcissist!

  • @gloria6396
    @gloria6396 Před 5 měsíci +1

    YES THANK YOU I WOULD ALSO ADD THEY CHOOSE A WOMAN THAT CAN BE A HUMAN SHIELD

  • @DemeshiaParker
    @DemeshiaParker Před 5 měsíci

    To Control, Manipulate,Beat on and for the middle of the night,and when they get comfortable,you become their punching bag when you tell them no for anything. I understand my first marriage now from 27 years ago.I walked away at 22,but married him at 18.So glad I did

  • @craiggertheeunknown
    @craiggertheeunknown Před 5 měsíci

    I know now ( thanks to you) how I enabled her.😖

  • @DerSpielMann
    @DerSpielMann Před 5 měsíci

    6. To extract financial resources

  • @karengoldman3343
    @karengoldman3343 Před 6 měsíci +2

    you're fabulous! xo k

  • @dazpearce2096
    @dazpearce2096 Před 6 měsíci

    Good stuff as always Jill - thanks.
    Had a couple of 'lucky escapes' on this front when I was younger - the phrase 'being single is better than a bad relationship' has more than a ring of truth about it. I think a lot of narc abuse targets get caught up in thinking that a 'failed' marriage is somehow a reflection on them and so they 'stay there for the kids' etc.
    Not being married by (say) 30 does not make you a failure, hopefully attitudes are changing.

  • @gdm1979
    @gdm1979 Před 6 měsíci +1

    Fantastic video! Thank you Jill!

  • @markjayw666
    @markjayw666 Před 5 měsíci +1

    They get married to use people, then hurt them.

  • @Harmonious-jm3sy
    @Harmonious-jm3sy Před 5 měsíci

    I stayed to protect my children because at that point she couldn’t keep her pants on around male coworkers. I didn’t want some slime bag she picked up from the air base raising or harming my children. I always wondered why she married me. Thanks for the insight. It was a literal hell on earth.

    • @Elios0000
      @Elios0000 Před 4 měsíci +1

      funny you say that my ex cheated on me for guy 15 years younger then her self that had just joined and that she likely groomed in to doing so for years behind my back.... she always had this fantasy of being the military wife.... her dad was a Marine and also a narc and she had lot of guilt about him after he died. feel bad for this poor guy she married a uniform not the person in it... and if he ever wants to get out id bet she just hops in to the bed of the next guy on the base too

    • @Harmonious-jm3sy
      @Harmonious-jm3sy Před 4 měsíci

      @@Elios0000 Yep, they leap frog from one person to the next always keeping the supply chain open.

  • @LindaStokes-ff2kv
    @LindaStokes-ff2kv Před 6 měsíci +1

    I can so relate ❤

  • @dannycarter1690
    @dannycarter1690 Před 5 měsíci

    I married a woman I'd known for decades, but was unaware she was a narcissist/alcoholic until I married her. Her NPD began almost immediately, which was very confusing at first. But more and more frustration followed as she followed the covert narcissist behavior patterns to a T. I ended up moving out because of the toxicity of that relationship. I was becoming someone I didn't know and didn't want to be because of her manipulation.
    Now, I'm going through a divorce armed with the knowledge of what a covert narcissist is and how they truly are. My advice is if you suspect anyone of narcissism and are in any type of relationship with them, keep them at arm's length if you must deal with them at all. If you have to opportunity to seperate yourself from their toxic behavior, then do it as quickly and completely as possible. These are sick people.

  • @jameskessel5138
    @jameskessel5138 Před 5 měsíci +2

    How about they get married to make their ex jealous?

  • @truthandreality4650
    @truthandreality4650 Před 4 měsíci

    All a narcissist psychopath has to say is that the partner is the narcissist to confuse people and keep them from acting against them.

  • @roxywestbridge
    @roxywestbridge Před 6 měsíci +2

    💯

  • @staceyboyd4508
    @staceyboyd4508 Před 6 měsíci +2

  • @ramzhouran2152
    @ramzhouran2152 Před 5 měsíci

    Thanks!

  • @billsix
    @billsix Před 6 měsíci +3

    I dislike narcissists! 🤣

  • @greggeer6231
    @greggeer6231 Před 5 měsíci

    Does every narcissist cheat?

    • @natlovesfashion27
      @natlovesfashion27 Před 3 měsíci

      Pretty much. Some do not but it’s very few. The sexual addiction component is apart of Narcissism. So you rarely will cross a Narc that doesn’t cheat.

  • @jaywalks9918
    @jaywalks9918 Před 6 měsíci

    Is it not that a man and a woman have different needs in a relationship. If the assumption is that the other has the same needs, then each would label the other as a narcissist? idk

    • @ProFacts99
      @ProFacts99 Před 6 měsíci

      Married one for years it wasn't easy for me but I thank God I met marjeed_fx who helped me share my husband logins without his knowledge contact him his helping people out there