Our President Never Planned On Being Our President
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- čas přidán 3. 01. 2018
- President Trump's recent temper tantrums may have been triggered by the an upcoming book full of unflattering information and Trump's real motives behind his presidential bid.
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes. - Zábava
Haha, it's so predictable that Trump will claim that Bannon is just another low-level coffee boy.
Toad Jiang *covfefe
Plus what happened to the line about Bannon's "departure from the WH being part of a predetermined timeline"? They were knocking themselves out to say he wasn't fired, but that it had been planned well in advance. OMG You guys don't think they lied to everyone to save face over an epically bad hire, do you?
ArtGirl82 lies!? From the most truthful administration ever? (Choke)
Yep!
Toad Jiang
Cofefe boy
If this presidency was unplanned and unwanted, you don't have to carry it to term. You can abort it at any time.
KingOfMadCows lol
We need more Planned Presidency clinics in D.C.
+Joshua Bolt *gasps
KingOfMadCows - The problem is with the Pro-strife crowd.
That's not what Republicans stand for. . .😂😂😂
That Men in Black alien is one of the most underrated performances in cinematic history.
Dragon Ball Super couldn't agree more. Bannon did very well in that role
To think it’s the guy from Law and Order criminal intent too... amazing performance
I usually don't watch Stephen Colbert but he was so brilliant that I have to subscribe. Simply epic.
"You got any sugar water?" - perfect!
Jo Dus the most hilarious thing is that donofrio actually looks better than Bannon.
And not only that.....It's was said so perfectly that it might have been dubbed from the movie.
Out fucking standing, Private Pyle!
Watching the Trumpanzees and Breitbarbarians turn on one another is bigly entertaining. Buying popcorn now.
jpdemer5 the rats are rat fucking each other before jumping ship...
Even if we end up dying, we'll die laughing our butts off!
I'm curious to see if this rift will continue and what it will do to the poll numbers when the deplorable base cracks down the middle.
Trumpanzees.... I love it! I always used "Trumplings" but I think I like your term better.
The right classically eats its own. That's why they are pro life and anti education- so they have something to eat. And rape.
"what happens when your syphilis gets herpes" had me rolling!
Rich Colter 💁Likewise🙌🏼😂🤣😂🤣😂🙅🏼🙊🙊🙊👊🏼💥😌🤓🙆❣️
That got me pretty good as well.
Still...!
Rich Colter It's funny cuz it's true😂
"Got any sugar water" 💀💀💀
Good god Bannon is hideous looking.
CarbolicSoap I know, that shit was so funny lol. Makes me wanna watch MIB.
CarbolicSoap that KILLED ME TOO LOLOLOLOLOL
Omg I watch that part like 10 times I cried laughing so hard I came back tonight just to fast forward to that part it was funny as shit and he actually sound like him lmaooo I thought nobody thought it was fun but me
That was pretty good D'onofrio!
I'm pretty sure Melania cried on her wedding night too
Jimminy Lummox she cries a lot
You can never be too harsh to nazis Steven ... allways give em hard times ! With best wishes from germany !
lol germany will be fine; it's the usa we need to worry about.
Shashank Tripathi - You're failing quite hard here, anyone with common sense would call it quits to save further embarrassment.
+Shashank Tripathi
donald trump made that claim during the campaign, and was rated mostly false by credible fact checkers. www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2016/may/11/donald-trump/donald-trump-says-germany-now-riddled-crime-thanks/
I´m sorry to say but germany is not fine at all. There is a new right nationalist party in germany who won 13% of the votes in the last elections. We have o grow of 14% of nazi offenses - just last year. If you are listening to our right party, you are really thinking you can hear trump speaking. Fake news, ignoring climate change.. and of course attacks against minorities in our country. In my opinion we are all sitting in the same boat. Because what you can see in trump is getting bigger and bigger in germany, and in every other state in europe too.
Yes, it is exactly as you put it, Propaganda. How about you provide some sources on the ministers saying stuff like that instead, hmmm?
Stephen Colbert keeps me sane. Love him.
Springtime for trumpler and Germany. 😂🤣😂🤣
“You can’t have a President who doesn’t know what the Constitution is.”
And yet, here we are. 😭
Emme lol
Emme
since when has a president known the constitution?
bushes illegal wars & torture facilities.
Obama's NSA spying on citizens and allies.
He didn't even know that HE was the president of the US Virgin islands
just remember the Republicans claimed that Obama did not know the constitution. He was a constitution lawyer. Trump was their presidential nominee, he is a failed business/con man.
Wow you think any President ever has gone with the Constitution. Sure the President might wanna do that but all the fucking snakes that surrounds a president.. Oooh Jesus.
"... when your syphilis gets herpes ..." - hilarious!
That was the Best.
Tonina Satta comedy gold I tell you. Jon Stewart needs come get some of this, there's so much meat on them bones lol.
gosh i nearly died when he said that
😂😂I died😂😂😂
No matter how nice he dress up, Bannon STILL looks like drunken, filthy hobo living under a bridge.
I've been saying this for approximately a year, including the "it's a real-life Mel Brooks' The Producers" thing.
When South Park gets it right again
Kobi Morton south park is always right
In the race between the douchebag and shit sandwich... Well frankly I'd vote the douchebag... Except I actually voted third party. I just didn't want the shit sandwich to win.
You do realize this book is fake right? this guy is fake news and he even tells you that to your face and when he reports on crap like this you actually believe him. This is idiocracy this is Idiocracy THIS IS IDIOCRACY you guys are fucking sheep.
CosaNostra42 I think you need to calm down a bit and stop idolising Trump. He's only a president not a messiah.
lol you are an idiot dude, how does my statement idolizing Trump. I am telling you that this book is not reality and if you believe it you are an idiot. If you think that idolizes Trump then I rest my case.
It's never too late to resign Mr. President.
it would be the best resignation ever; everyone says so.
I rather have trump than pence . With trump i will know when i will die. He will tweet when he pushes that button on his table.
now, now, pence will only try to destroy the usa. it's not right to endanger south korea, japan, europe, etc., which is what we're doing as long as trump is around.
Bu Men Nigo
Don’t even say that. It is too horrible to make lighthearted comments about it!
He first has to pass enough laws that will make him richer. The tax reform is just the first of those.
He planned to fail but yet he win? Wow,that is one major fuckup.
He clearly showed signs he didn't really want to be Prez. Shows that we the people are stupid enough to vote for him.
on hillary's part yeah
Idiot bankrubts a CASINO and can't even lose an election when he plans to.......!!!!!
He aimed for the ground and missed.
Trump had his followers the moment they heard him make the first racist statement against Mexicans!
South Park guessed it like a year ago. He didn’t want to win
Impostor82 fuck you , you beat my comment
Oh no! My bad dog
No matter how dressed up Steve Bannon is he still looks like the town drunk.
Steve Bannon, who? Never met him, must have been another intern. - Donald Trump
Kim Jong Fun cute picture 😂
We sent him for coffee and he got sugar water. and the Starbucks guy wrote' covfefe' on it
Kim Jong Fun lol he was just another coffee boy according to thedonald.
I wonder if he'll be saying the same thing when they edict Jared & Don Jr.
That's President Bannon
Steve Bannon = "What happens when your syphilis gets herpes", Hilarious
Andrew Jimenez 😂😂😂😂😂
Andrew Jimenez
🤣😂🤣👍🏼
💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
Dude you are awesome!!! This show rocks🎉😁 Facts+Humor Amazing.
Mike Flynn, George Papadopoulos, Paul Manafort, Steve Bannon - how much coffee did the Trump campaign drink that they needed all those people to go get it for them?
Have your psychiatrist explain it to you. You are never alone with your delusions.
Don Wadd Really you trump supporters want to talk about a psychiatrist?😆
inandof myself ..BLM,sharpton,soros,rev,white.Emanuel,rapist clinton and many more! ha ha, talk about shit!i can go on and on! lmfao
YOU libtards NEED mental help. YOU lost the election so HOLD your breath til you see another demoncrat potus!
Don Wadd Wow dude. As an outsider from another country you guys on both sides really need to seek mental help. You both sound fucking crazy
As an Australian, I would like to apologise profusely for Murdoch. we are nothing like him, or Greg Norman.
Thank you gjmob. Ignore the trolls. We accept your apology for Rupert Murdoch. May we offer our sincerest apologies to Australians (and the rest of the world) for Donald Trump and his entire family and administration.
Trump... 0 days without being a national embarrassment.
gjmob Hey buddy, I'm just glad all these shit heads werent produced in America. Someday well get through this man...and maybe even one day, we'll look back and laugh...I dont know though.
Melania doesn't cry. Those early models didn't come with tearducts. That was the CX-20361B
😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆🎉😂😂😂
Her model was known as the "whoreBot 1000"
🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
The older models had rubber skin, they were easy to spot.
The jokes(DT & SB) write the punchlines, and Stephen delivers it.... Its almost too easy.
Total LOL at the Men in Black joke. I cracked up at, "Got any sugar water?"
It's fun watching him get tangled in his own lies.
Steve Bannon looked into the Ark of the Covenant and the Ark melted.
Lol, well said.
KingOfMadCows you have chosen wisely.
You killing me with those jokes man
Zing!
Now that's funny!
The Steve Bannon joke 😂. I laughed out loud at work when I heard that joke lmfao. Good thing no one was around, ha!
I like the show that americans call "President Trump" - you never know what comes next. I wonder if Charlie Sheen gonna make an appearance. ....
Nah, even he denied all associations with the orange
Listen, you can hear the tears falling in trailer parks all across the nation
The MAJORITY of Americans had tears in their eyes on election night.
LMAO! I love how Stephem makes fun of how people look and act when he introduces them. The MIB one was awesome!
O'bannon's resemblance to the MIB alien, is uncanny lol!
Finally, the showdown between he guy who is colored like an orange... and the guy who's textured like one.
They're both pretty unapeeling.
Trump vs Bannon. America's Human Hemorrhoid vs. Syphilis with Herpes.
Ooh. That's zesty
New Message o
I'm a now officially a New Message follower.
Rupert Murdoch isn't Australian - he renounced and became a naturalised US citizen. We don't want him back.
We don't want him either.
No, you keep him.
Suggest we drop him in the ocean halfway between the US and Australia. Which of the two continents he swims back to is the one that has to keep him.
Chester Australia has a big enough shark problem
Our sharks will eat up Murdoch before he even reaches the coastline
Holy fuck, I spit my Dr. Pepper at "Got any sugar water?" 😂😂😂
omg i never knew that was vincent d'onofrio in MiB
He was terrific, wasn't he?
I think it was more like trump couldn't believe that Russia actually pulled it off.
wiseass 5000 just bought a few ads
Yeah keep repeating parroted falsehoods
ppl besides cnn actually believe that? dont know if i should laugh or cry how stupid and obedient some people are
Big Bob Whats my name?
South Park was right!
Well of course, Trey Parker and Matt Stone are two of the best satirists on the planet.
Yep, Randy never wanted to be president.
Duude! I was thinking the same thing..."Awww, jeez"
Ah youre such a turd sandwich
South Park was never wrong!
0:54 "Where did we go right?!" lmao
Very funny, superbly done!
,
Stephen Colbert's monologues have been an absolute godsend
Keep on downing your political junk food.
I guess trump did get tired of winning after all.
But unfortunately not tired of whining
OMG I lost it when he did the sugar water bit. I was just laying there half asleep when he said it and I laughed so hard I tears in my eyes. When I went back and actually watched it I laughed so much I had to get up and go pee. That was awesome.
I was just drinking milk, and when Steven said, "Got any sugar water", I laughed so hard it came out my nose. OMG
Joe Biden put it best when he said to Stephen Colbert last year: You should never run for the job if you know you can't put your 100% into it and you truly believe you're the best person for the job. Trump thought it was easy and found the hard way how much work actually goes into being President.
wow, quoting a petafile ..but then again, not uncommon for snowflake libtards
Greg Tacconi do you have evidence to back that claim?
look yourself its well documented
Greg Tacconi I haven't seen it reported anywhere, so I'm curious what your source is.
@Greg Tacconi
You sound triggered. Too much work for you to cite a source? Or do you want someone else to do it? So typical of your ilk, always looking for handouts and other people to do your dirty work...
Crap, South Park’s portrayal of the election season was basically accurate.
Life was much better when South Park was fiction, or at least, an exaggeration.
falcore91 Holy fuck!
lmao was just thinking the same thing
Rumpel Felt He ain't your budday friend
No Face, He ain't your friend, guy.
😂 LMFAO!!!! "Got any sugar water?!" Omg
Exactly..!
*_As a Chinese freedom advocate, I challenge the good American people to RECOVER your country from this Catastrophe, to help me convince my fellow Chinese people that Democracy is better than the other alternatives. Please._*
win winwin
Oh, but how?
Stop looking up to America. There are a lot of democratic countries that are doing just fine. America has a broken system that's corrupt all the way to the top. It's a shithole.
ifonlyiwere sober stfu you know-nothing turd
Oh, he wanted to win, but that's all he wanted. He never actually wanted the job.
m. rude еаэ шгддтммд
д
Л
Иаью
m. rude LOL hmm let's think about this.. What does Trump want - he's such a deep guy with complex motivations, right? Oh wait actually no he's a transparent narcissist who wants 3 things:
1) His giant gold name on everything
2) $$$
3) Admiration and praise
That's literally it. Every single thing he does can be boiled down to one of those 3 things.
ellisd525 I would add Possessions to that list, both material and human (especially of the female variety).
Cheryl Bottomley your so right he loves being First and he is the First mentally ill President right at the starting gate
Vincent Dinafrio from Men in black lol this nigga funny as hell im dying over here 😂
This was the best monologue ever.
Swamp Wars : Trump Vader vs Snoke Bannon
Comparing Trump to Vader is an insult. Trump Grevious maybe
Shinigami Jack Trump Palpatine.
More likely that fat Gungan, you know the one that showers everybody in spit....
"When your Syphilis catches Herpes" DIED Laughing, oh Stephen, freaking Hilarious!!!!!!
Carlos Lopez dotdotdot gotta steal that joke! Fkin classic!
XD And yet... John didn't go... "COLD BLOODED." That was the BEST and ONLY time... John was supposed to say that.
XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD!!! That was fucking hilarious!!!
I swear I read that comment JUST as it came up in the vid!
Lawl Bazooka Joe Comics!!! 😂😭
Bonus points for the Vincent D'Onofrio MIB reference. :)
I just want to say if I had a dollar for every time I replayed that “when your Syphilis gets herpes” joke I would have $7!
There's no honour among ass holes, I mean thieves.
That was the best Bannon comparison so far!
Hahahahahahahah! Heating up, guys!
This has to be my favorite episode so far. The writers, producers, and staff (and host 😍) all did a wonderful job! Thanks for all you do, you're appreciated!
Stephen got to love how you handled that Nazi joke (0:50) when some of the audience who seemed to have a stick up their ass got quickly offended.
Remember the good old days when hating Nazis was not only accepted but fun for the whole family? Yep, hating the very standard of evil was almost wholesome. Hmm... good times. It's almost like Trumpism philosophy is the SJW crowd who defend white nationalists (Nazis, white supremacists, etc) while denying it does that. Well, deny it in a cultist way that behaves like the orange clown is their Jesus. "Let's alter the details to make us right. Load the insults and low-brow logic while we piece together some semi-workable sophistry."
Happy New Year, Colbert 🎈🎊😜🎉
2:31 that joke is straight out of Airplane
If you want to clean up this mess, use Irish Spring, it works miracles
I was thinking flame thrower.
Nick Yolo. Cover him in concrete and dump him in the north sea
Dammit it's a new meme. Irish Spring is a brand that has products like soap etc
Not even chlorine trifluoride could clean up this mess and that stuff can set fire to concrete!!!
The US can have Murdoch. Australia definitely doesn't want him!
Jillian Arnold Aussie Aussie oy oy Aussie Aussie oy oy oy Aussie
Yea sure Donnie. Steve Bannon has nothing to do with you. Now go play some more with your action figures.
Dan Hedaya's line in the opening scene from Joe vs the Volcano: "I know he can get the job, but can he DO the job?"
We in Australia would be happy to have you Steven!
You're telling me South Park was on-point again?
whoever wrote the secret service codename joke 😂. "sometimes this shit just writes itself"-Shakespeare
Holy SHIT that Syphilis joke was too savage.
God can you imagine having pictures or video of you or a family member forever written in history somewhere supporting Trump.. Jesus... I'd rather be caught naked falling out of a portapotty at this point..
Atley Meow very soon you won’t be able to find anyone willing to say they voted for Trump. After Germany lost the war it was impossible to find anyone who said they supported Hitler
Atley Meow
Yes, my boss at work put up a shrine to Trump in the office at work because he was going to be so good for small business.. she got bought out by a corporation for pennies on the dollar a few weeks ago because if she didn't they were going to put up a new business and take away all her customers anyway. It's about the best analogy for this whole presidency you could imagine.
Daniel: Hahaha, what a story! It's like the story of those Latino bitches who pledged their allegiance to Trump and who had claimed what a great leader he was and then all of a sudden Trump passed laws to have them all deported! Karma is a bitch!
We already knew this... haha.... That is even a premise of South Park's parody of him.
The amount of jokes that fly right over the crowds head?
Scary!
Ohh man, this keeps on getting better...
Man South Park called this facade from a mile away.
czcams.com/video/TlqKFlU7YAs/video.html South Park clip showing they were right!
Face-alanche! XD
hahahaha oh man Steve Bannon. holy shit. hilarious that he did a total flip
yes there is comedic attraction, however the blunt fact that donald never wanted to be president (and has neither the accumen or intelligence for the office) is alarming for both continental and global stability and security.he MUST go...and very soon.
Free Melania
No shit.
Budget won't cover her buyout, poor liddle gold-digger!
...with the purchase of any Melania of equal or greater value.
Quinn Black
FUCK Melania, she's just a mail order WHORE.🐷
Quinn Black fuck Melania. She’s a birther piece of shit. Look back at her interview questioning Obama’s birth certificate.
lol that country song joke.
nice one! hahahahahahahahahaha, exactly the producers
Vincent D'Onfrio! LOL! "SUGAR WATER!" ROFLMAO!
Steve your skin is hanging off your bones
Anne Brown or maybe some liquor...grumph!
Anne Brown hahahaha.....
Trump VS Bannon?
*gets popcorn*
Dueling banjos. Geesh!
😁 Love from Australia 🇦🇺
"but today.."
*crowd laughs*
seems legit
Mr.Colbert you are Awesome!🖒👌
Love Stephen Colbert. Happy New Year.
4.26 What happens when Syphilis gets harpies, lol
Elect a clown, you get a circus!
We all knew that.....but it doesn't make it any easier.
*insert a million laughing emojis* Improved for who?
Dumb ass sounds like an idiot
Trump did nothing and can't even spell Hillary
His damn stupid fucking policies haven't even kicked in yet
Another Russian troll
Baws Nitti your brainwashed
Joe Smith I took your advice and looked up facts and statistics but it turns out everything you're saying is a lie.
lol, Idiot !!
"When syphilis gets herpes."
Very good joke.
Stephen C. makes my day again with the opening monologue.
I read the banner in the thumbnail way, WAY wrong.