Charles Spencer Opens Up About Being Sexually Abused in Boarding School | Lorraine
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- čas přidán 10. 03. 2024
- In a devastating new book, Charles Spencer speaks for the first time about the bullying and physical and sexual assault he suffered at boarding school. He'll talk about feeling abandoned at eight years old when he started at Maidwell Hall, why he felt like he couldn't speak out at the time, and why it took him until his 40s to fully understand the damage of his experience - and why he now wants to help others.
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Broadcast on 11/03/24
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It breaks your heart to know any child was ever abused. To think of the tens of thousands who will never be able to tell their stories. This is a brave thing to do.
Agree completely x
Agree 💯, many of us have never told a soul.
It happens just as much to children of the Elite and often it's the Elite who are the abusers. Just need to Google Cathy O brien who was sold into the Whitehouse by her abusive father and CZcams Anneke Lucas child trafficking survivor
Re Amber heards trolls were from Saudi Arabia, Russia and depps lawyer was and is a nasty POS. Depp is good friends with mbs and they bonded over thier dealings with the us.
Depp has been ostracised from Hollywood and mbs well he had kashoggi arrested on his orders. Depp film Jeanne du Barry in Qatar. Or at least stayed with mbs while he made the film.
Those poor Spencer kids all had terrible childhoods. 💔 Earl Spencer is a brave man!
What a vile boarding school 🏫 Charles Spencer went too😡 l can't believe 😱it still open today. Charles Spencer suffered in he childhood as much as he late sister Diana did it didn't help their mother had lost custody of her children and was living apart from them, Charles Spencer parents went to their grave 🪦 not knowing the truth.
It all started with their mother leaving the family. The kids were left to fend off on their own.
@@RoSen344 If we really want to talk about where it all started, it all started when their father became an alcoholic and started abusing their mother, prompting her to run. Then it continued on to papa dearest not allowing for mum to take the children with her, or even so much even see them, as revenge for her leaving. It then also continued onto him neglecting his own children, whilst also not allowing them to have a mother, and dispatching them to boarding school as early as eight, so he wouldn't have to deal with them. And this sir/mam is where it all started, thank you very much.
@@selmahare exactly
Thanks for the explanation, now I understand why he didn't tell any one of his parents that this was happening to him back then. So sad, I guess just because you grow up an aristocrat doesn't mean you have it made I guess.@@selmahare
Something so genuine about this gentleman. A hard listen. Wishing him peace and love from here on in.
Yes agree
May God continue protecting him and his family
He seems to have the same vulnerability as Diana ...
Yes, he seems very genuine, and who can forget his speech at Di’s funeral, soulful and incredibly brutally honest.
@@Itsreallyme571 yes you can see it
It’s an emotional abandonment that scars one for life
Agree.
I'd never be able to do that to my children. Children deserve to grow up in a loving family.
His mother did not ABANDON him. Her father threw her out of the house.
He has courage ..... wishing Earl Spencer all the best.
To think that so many of these psychologically damaged kids from these schools end up in positions of power and in government is a scarey thought. It actually explains a lot.
Well said. 😢
For that reason alone they should be banned from such positions
@@witlesswonderthe2nd883 Why punish the abused? Having psychotherapy would be better for everyone.
Indeed!
LIFE
Never believe in sending little children away from their family to live with strangers. I don’t care how “prestigious” the school is.
His sister would be proud 🙏
For sure- IrishSuzy.
Absolutely.I'm French and have just discovered more lately about what the boarding-school system really stands for.I find that system simply appalling , it deprives children from early on of their psychological identity under the foul pretense that they "must behave and be strong " .
It makes one real sick to hear that the system was so corrupted and vile .Trauma and abuse of any kind should not exist in any type of schools.
I am French and used to be a school teacher with kids of eight and nine .I can't help thinking about my pupils (yound adults now ) in regard of all this.
I do think there are so-called traditions one country can simply do away with.
My grandson is 7, the thought of sending him away to boarding school at that age is traumatising.
Absolutely .And what for ? No use to keep reproducing the same model forever, but this require a major change in the political English world , where those who have it , still have it ...
I can remember a friend crying and running away to stop being taken to boarding school at that age.
Never forget it.
Foul system, nowhere else in Europe does such a system exist .
There’s not a trace of self-pity with this guy - he’s just being honest about what happened to him - also the odd parallel to his sister (making himself sick in order to curry sympathy). Really tragic.
His sister Sarah was an anorexic.Diana was a Bulemic.There is a genetic component to eating disorders.
Wow. Good for him speaking up. It’s hard, especially for male victims, to talk about these things publicly.
People never STOP talking about this sort of thing these days! Give it a rest.
@@zzzbbbooo Why watch the video if you dont like the subject so weird ? out of the millions of videos why watch this one ??
@@zzzbbboooNor should they. No one has to suffer in silence.
Our neighbor sent his son to boarding school at age 8 yrs old. His first letter home was to ask if his parents could send his teddy to him. I always thought that practice was SO barbaric!! It is abandonment by the parents. That alone would cause issues, but to have to endure cold, callous, abusers in addition is just horrendous. Charles Spencer has done many others a huge service in acknowledging and talking openly about this.
I worked with a lovely guy who was sent to boarding school aged 5 (reasons I won't put here). I don't believe he came to harm like Earl Spencer tragically did - but, like your neighbour, I do think it was harmful to him emotionally.
And he's gained great publicity for his book sales. Please. He's had a great life, no need for moaning now. It's too late.
@@charleswhite758, Charles, I see this comment from you here after I wrote a lengthy response to you below another comment.
A boy of 8 should not still be attached to teddy. Something wrong there. There comes a time for growing up.
@@melliecrann-gaoth4789 Sorry, can't see it. Post again if you wish
I am crying for you, Charles Spencer. God bless!
So sorry to hear about this evil abuse inflicted on an innocent child.
As a kid I always wished to go away to boarding school, sounded like a dream life. Now that all these horror stories are coming out I’m so glad this wasn’t my life. My heart breaks for these victims, I hope they can heal from this trauma.
Be glad you didn’t
-I was sent at 7 years for 10 years & have been scarred for life
@@jita14 too early, for sure. My friend too, but my husband went for high school. I taught in a boarding school and all seemed well, so who knows?
@@lynnhubbard844 yes at that age having lost faith in the primary caretakers in your life -one kind of shuts down& who are you going to complain to anyway & be then sneered at as someone who is ‘imagining’ things& whining about nothing
Boarding school was wonderful for me, but I wouldn't choose it willingly for any of my children because of how much of these awful experiences I have witnessed or heard of through my profession. In my opinion men should not be left in charge of children and vulnerable adults. It isn't a popular sentiment in our 'progressive' Western culture, but it is nonetheless true.
I chose to go to boarding school in the 70's. I got a wonderful education and it was one of the best things I have ever done. Howver a week after we graduated a girl from my class married my Geometry teacher. Hmmmm...so even it a great school this can happen.
This explains his valid outburst at his sister Princess Diana’;s funeral, regarding the protective upbringing he demand for his beloved nephews William and Harry. No wonder he exploded his emotions and valiant feelings of responsibility for ‘his boys’, wanting to shelter them from any kind of abuse or neglect. Diana literally put her arms around her sons, and her devoted brother promised on the global stage to never let any harm come to them , on his watch… bless him, and thankyou for sharing, caring and saving others following your horrendous trauma. Now time to heal…
I can only imagine how that other kid, that he mentioned, felt, my gran took me to school on my first day. I recall looking out the window and saw her breezing back up the hill without me. She returned at 2.45. Phew!
How awful to be dumped at a boarding school without even knowing at age eight.
Well done him speaking out.I once sat beside a woman from Equador on a flight to America who worked for the Spencers and she said they were amazing people who did so much for charity and good works.He obviously has a real affinity for the underdog and those who maybe in vulnerable circumstances,I now see that this is probably based in his own personal experiences.
I've always liked Earl Spencer. God bless you sir.
You’re a poor judge of character!
@@stephenweir2003 it's called being able to formulate an opinion. You already have one of me, some stranger off the internet. Well done 👍 and have a nice day.
I am so glad he is letting this out. He gets it out of his system and can help others.
FABULOUS that Earl Spencer has been able to deal with the inevitable complexity and pain of his past to such an extent to finally be able to TELL THE TRUTH. SUCH COURAGE IS RARE TODAY. My compassion reaches out to this wounded but BRAVE SURVIVOR!
Well done on talking about it, i hope you find peace.
Bless him for coming forward, as a victim of CSA I feel proud of him for speaking out. It affects every relationship in life and kills a part of us off 😢. I deeply feel so much of what he is saying 😢. Such a beautiful soul opening up and writing about his experiences and I hope it will help others.
He is an advocate for that eight year old boy he was and is a stand up guy as a brother and uncle in his family. A system that traumatizes the Physic's of children is never good. Thanks for
sharing his own experience and giving the space for others to share theirs.
As a male survivor myself, I know what CSA can do to the mind and it's a horrific healing journey. To anyone that is a survivor regardless of gender, please know that you're not alone and you are heard and seen! My heart goes out to you Charles Spencer 😢♥️
No snobbery with this gentleman, so brave to speak of this .Best wishes to him and hopefully we will see when we read the book,being from a privileged background isn’t all it’s cracked up to be 💔
Try inviting yourself to one of his dinner parties at Althorp🤣 Good luck
Sent to an English, all girl Catholic boarding school in Surrey from age 7.. it was a nightmare. Verbally abused by the nuns and neglected. This was 1987-1989. Only getting therapy at aged 44! It’s a lifelong scar..
Trying to find the courage to finally complain about the treatment. ❤
I went to a Catholic day school. The nuns were profoundly abusive, the complete opposite of what I was led to believe people of god were about. I wish you strength and love on your journey. ❤
Please, just keep it to yourself and soldier on. That is true courage. I'm fed up of hearing about other peoples' problems and cancer, etc. Everyone has gone through tough experiences, and we all have more tough experiences ahead of us, every one of us. These drama queens love to grab the limelight and promote their particular injuries to gain sympathy from others. Don't be tempted to be one of them. And it's great publicity for his book, which is the only reason he's bleating on about it.
@@charleswhite758sounds like you are trying to cover up that you were an abuser.
@charleswhite758 families despise predators, the unhealthy ones hate the truth teller even more. You sound like the latter.
Very brave, like his sister.
Brave man and this should help so many others and raise awareness!
He's a very strong man. He's had to deal with a lot in his life.
Mr. Charles Spencer is not only courageous but s true HERO. It takes a real man to not only face the pain but then to write about it. The abuser is a weak wimp and a coward. His book will be immensely successful. Thank you to the host for an open display of compassion and understanding. An extremely important interview.
I just bought the book and heard it on Audible. Charles Spencer is an amazing writer and narrator, and I hope it was healing for him to do this. He does a wonderful job of taking us to those times, to the culture he grew up in , and to the strange world of the Aristocracy. I hope things have changed in the schools, but , sadly, the twisted ways of the Aristocracy continue . I do admire his hard work and plan to visit Althorp in the summer.
Brave of him to come forward and discuss such a sensitive and hurtful part of his life. I wish him peace. It's ironic the he suffered from some of the same things as his sister.
All the Spencer siblings had varying complications from a childhood in a dysfunctional family. While living in a manor house, surrounded with privilege might seem like a wonderful life, quite often it was not. Diana came to her marriage to Charles already damaged and disturbed. It was not all Prince Charles fault that the marriage didn't work. My sympathy to Charles, Diana, Jane and Sarah Spencer.
@@maryoleary2037very rich children are children first, which makes them very vulnerable.
The Spencer’s story is very public. I hope that this has been helpful in a broad way.
Charles Spencer and he late sister Diana had unhappy childhoods💔 their mother had lost custody of her children after she left their father Diana was traumatised by her mother leaving at a young age.
Heartbreaking. So, so sad. Thank goodness he has spoken out. He’s beautifully spoken.
That criminal should be in prison. What is being done about it?
Well, they’re dead…
Wishing Earl Spencer all the best moving forward. Totally heartbreaking story.
No wonder Diana didn’t want her children going to boarding school. It all make sense now.
But they did. Eton.
What a courageous man to speak up for his friend, for himself and for too many others: he is speaking up for me, too. Thank you, Charles Spencer!
This is sadly all too common a story ! Brave to speak out about this . I hope this helps others come forward to speak up about this 🙏
So many cases of abuse on children in these educational and religious institutions, it’s horrendous. All the abusers should be locked up for life. Respect to Earl Spencer for sharing his story. I wonder did he ever confide in Diana about this abuse.
So much COURAGE LIKE HIS SISTER.......THNK YOU
Sending your child to boarding school is like paying for your child to be abused emotionally, mentally, physically or sexually. It is for lazy parents, or parents who experienced the same thing, but have accepted what happened to them and pushed it to the back of their minds.
Well said !
Don't understand how loving parents can entrust the safety of their kids to strangers who don't love them. It's tantamount to abandonment. So many survivors disclose late in life.
Something has to be done about child abuse, the world is a very sick place, there are even fathers preying on their own kids, that is so so disgusting!!
I attended a lovely private girls boarding school during my teenage years. It was heartbreaking to see children as young as 4 years old being sent away to school as a "full time boarder" which meant only seeing their family during school holidays.
I'm pretty sure that hundreds of voiceless kids in foster homes and in the system who are going through this right now
There are and the government hide this ! It’s going on now 😢
You dear man,
I am so very sorry for all you have been through.
You are a brave man and I applaud you for your courage to speak the TRUTH of your trauma.
You are a fine man. A true gentleman.
Again, I am so very sorry for all you and your friends went through.
Another "Boarding School Survivor". I wish you all the best, sir. I am really so sorry about what happened to you and all the things you had to keep to yourself for so long.
He didn't need to share it with the whole world. Other than to help sell his book. He could just have told his psychiatrist (if he has one) and his wife, maybe his adult children. Why is it necessary to tell total strangers?
@@charleswhite758 Why not?
@@Cristinact My question was - what was his need to do so? If your answer is "why not?" that does not take me forward very far. But thanks anyway🤣
We, as a society, can only stop it by acknowledging it.
He is using his bitter experience to help others.
It's heroic.
Desperately sad. I never warmed to Charles Spencer, but what happened clearly had a horrific and lasting impact on him. It's such a good thing that he has written this book, and talks of the wider impact his suffering has had on his relationships - family, friends and partners. Incredibly sad.
Diana would be proud of her brother bringing this out to the public so it never happens again.
Children don’t tell, there is a major power dynamic here.
So sorry to read and see this. From Industial schools,orphanages, Magdalene laundries, private day schools, and Boarding schools child abuse just rampants.
I'm in Ireland and probably the same age as Charles Spencer. I remember seeing many children: boys and girls being physically assaulted by teachers. if a frightened child ran away from school; classmates would be sent to search for them and bring them back to school: by any means< including physical attacks
Brave man ❤ what sick people
We need more men coming out with what they went through. So many boys get sexually assaulted and don’t come out because they are scared of being emasculated or gay but they shouldn’t be. Anyone who has gone through this deserves love, compassion and support. And hopefully one day every boy or girl who’s gone through this gets justice. Anyways I applaud anyone brave enough to speak about what happened to them ❤
Their were many abused and still are
Catholics
@@isay207 Yep cults should be shut down but these people will just then go into law enforcement or the health system. Very sad.
This is so sad. So sorry you and your friends had to go through this.
Yes Charles Spencer, Earl Spencer is such a brave man for telling his story that way he live it ❤🏴🇬🇧🇨🇦😇🫶💒🫶
People often speculate about the colour of Harry's hair, but it is clearly from his mother's side of the family. Not only do we see it here but her elder sister was also a red head.
Absolutely agree 💯
Absolutely I've always said that..
Sarah's son and Harry looked very similar as children, they were also the same age, then he put on a lot of weight as he grew up so they no longer looked like each other that much. Of course, there is a lot of gingers in the Spencer family.
No need to mention that TRAITOR
@kismit100 LOL at you feeling offended and accusing Harry of being a 'TrAiToR!!!' because he defended his wife and kids from the racist bigots in the RF and British tabloid press.
I could listen to him talking for much longer
Well done to him for speaking out.
Must have been very difficult …😢
Well done sir for talking about abuse for those who cannot do so
Good on him for being brave enough to write this. Secrets are sick.
His story helps other people that suffer in silence.
I hope you can heal, even just a little bit Charles🙏 I weep for you as a little boy 😞🧡
Great courage to speak out about this. It’s awful that he and many others went through at the hands of those who were supposed to be looking out for them. I can’t imagine how it must be like to be sent away to boarding school at such a young age. I always think it’s a cop-out by parents who simply want to get their children out of the way.
Yes thankyou, for doing this. Many children went through many types of abuse.
You are BRAVE Charles.
Sir, I think you are very brave to write about this terrible abuse that happened to you and your friends. It must be horrific to go through this at any age, let alone such a tender age of 7,8,9. Well done for speaking about this and writing the book. I'm sure it will help many people. God Bless You. Gill ❤️ ❤️
Boarding school is emotional neglect.
Sending children to boarding school is equivalent to putting them into an educational orphanage for 2/3 of every year, denying them ordinary family life, with all its ups and downs.
"Teaches them to stand on their own two feet" is commonly said.
There's a time for that and it isn"t childhood. They can be taught taking on responsibities while they at home in gradual.stages.
How heartless the parents are to send their kids at 8 to boarding school.
Most of us were abused at boarding school. And the 70s were very different times.
Child abuse is still rampant
This man is So BRAVE. Such an important subject - there are so many men that have suffered abuse and too much shame and cover ups that keep them silent. They cannot heal and help others and tell their rightful stories of recovery. Much love and response to him and his family and the community around there in the UK.
I’m half way through the book and I’ll likely finish it tomorrow. It’s made me more assertive to do something about what happened to me too as a child.
The divine intervention of finding the diary in the attic that day was Gods way to help Charles heal. Incredible.
Or it was just sitting there and he saw it. Not really 'divine'... It is a Christian school. Too many kids are abu5ed in christian schools!
Heartbreaking 💔 Children are the most precious and should be treasured.
a very brave man.there is a sense of honesty,of sincere hope for the best,he is not seeking to harm,no vengence there.he is hurt but dignified in his terrible terrible hurt.
Thank you for telling your truth about your abuse. It will help so many people deal with their own abuse.
A good man and a good family.
His first wife and stepmother would disagree
I’m so sorry Charles, how brave to tell the world you are a true gentleman
Thank you Charles for being so courageous and speaking up about this heinous crime, this will help so many others to come forward, talk about it and get help to heal, especially the men!
God bless Earl Spencer for his amazing courage. What a brave man, and I'm sure he is a voice for many
I was at a christian meeting and a word of knowledge to bring healing was brought, it was for men who had been sent to boarding school at 7 years old. About dozen fully grown men, fell into the eisle, and sobbed from the pit of their stomach, their very being. I have never heard anything so distressing, and such deep broken emotions in these men, from.such a young age. I WEPTED. I HAVE NEVER FORGOTTEN IT. 🌷
Time for the church to pay some compensation?
Breaks my heart.
I know people who have been through the same and many said they thought it was the norm to be treated this way. Other classmates went through the same. . When they do find out as older children they just cant tell anyone about it because of the humiliation, shame, horror, disgust. I admire anyone who can relate their story. It is so brave. Many abusers go to their graves never having been punished. I now look forward to reading Earl Spencer's book.
This is so emotionally confronting. How it was possible and such an elite school and just continued for years and years damaging so many young children, it is mindblowing. Charles is very, yes extremely brave to come out to tell about this horrendous experience. Such a brave and responsible, civilized character. Deep bow to him. I wish him and all the other victims of this abuse all the best.
Much respect to you Sir for the interview. Lets hope there will be others who can be at peace with themselves off the back of this very important subject, as a result of these horrific experiences. Lovely man, it wasn't just about himself, but others he knew also.
Thank you for sharing your story. It will help so many people and help stop it happening in many similar institutions. 🙏🏼🙏🏼
Wow!!! Well-done so proud of you I believe all are in these sick schools
Does anyone believe that the school management were totally unaware of what had been happening?
The management did it!!!
So much respect for Charles Spencer.
I am presently reading this book, and I have to take it in chunks because it is so upsetting. The abuse Spencer and other boys endured at Maidwell is appalling and, frankly, illegal. I'm glad prep schools are better monitored these days, but I mourn for Spencer's wounds. I was an extremely sensitive lad myself, and it took a full year to adapt to just going to school in my hometown. I had homesickness problems as late as college. This is nothing to be ignored.I would love to speak with Spencer and give him my condolences. I recommend the book, "A Very Private School," but do so with caution. Best wishes, Earl Spencer.
there were many abused and still are
God bless Charles Spencer and Lorraine. This is an extremely difficult topic and I'm impressed by Charles's honesty and humility, but also Lorraine's sensitivity and empathy.
He don't look too happy in that childhood pic. Poor baby. Adulthood isn't easy, childhood should be tons of fun.
Childhood is a time to develop character. In Africa children start to work to help their families very young, collecting firewood, tending livestock, fetching water. It's not about learning to be self-indulgent and entitled
@@charleswhite758Children help out on farms and in all kinds of situations in every country.
He is a lovely man and no-one should never go through this
Big hugs❤
God bless this brave gentleman 🙏
Thank you so much for speaking about everything you went through. It is going to help a lot of people. I feel grateful you found the strength to write and speak about being sexually abused.
Brave, brilliant man. Dreadful that he suffered alone, so young. Wonderful that he gave his children the choice and didn't force them to board. Sadly, most parents pass all this on, lying to themselves that it's not that bad, perpetuating the denial. That photo of him as a child is heartbreaking; he looks so unloved and lonely. It makes me cry to look at, poor lad. Thankfully today, most of those closed boarding prep schools have shut down. But 13 at Public School is still too young to have your childhood abruptly end? Peer on peer abuse is rife at Public Schools because everyone grows at different rates. If you stick out, God help you. Thank you Charles but sorry too. Amazing that you have been such a great father and stopped history perpetuating itself. I loved your book presentation of "The White Ship". The world needs good narrative historians. You could have put your feet up in life. Thank you for not having done that?