3 Big Myths About Eye Contact

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  • čas přidán 7. 09. 2024
  • Eye contact is a powerful component of human communication, serving as a silent yet profound means of conveying emotions, intentions, and social cues. Despite its ubiquity and apparent simplicity, the underlying mechanisms through which eye contact impacts our psychological and physiological states remain intriguingly complex and not fully understood.
    Eye Contact Footage From: ‪@TheLibraryOfEmotions‬
    Studies Referenced in This Short:
    Chen, F. S., Minson, J. A., Schöne, M., & Heinrichs, M. (2013). In the Eye of the Beholder: Eye Contact Increases Resistance to Persuasion. Psychological Science, 24(11), 2254-2261. www.jstor.org/s...
    Auyeung, B., Lombardo, M., Heinrichs, M. et al. Oxytocin increases eye contact during a real-time, naturalistic social interaction in males with and without autism. Transl Psychiatry 5, e507 (2015).
    Uono, Shota & Hietanen, Jari. (2015). Eye Contact Perception in the West and East: A Cross-Cultural Study. PloS one. 10. e0118094. 10.1371/journal.pone.0118094.

Komentáře • 434

  • @Krumpins
    @Krumpins Před 2 měsíci +3827

    As someone who hates eye contact, knowing that there's 4° of wiggle room is very reassuring.

    • @rucksoclown7696
      @rucksoclown7696 Před 2 měsíci +134

      I find looking between the eyes is good :)

    • @l.a1532
      @l.a1532 Před 2 měsíci +23

      Socially dysfunctional*

    • @jakov850
      @jakov850 Před 2 měsíci

      autistic*

    • @mckinneym.2743
      @mckinneym.2743 Před 2 měsíci +218

      ​@@l.a1532 calm down not every society views eye contact the same way

    • @dudemanlastname
      @dudemanlastname Před 2 měsíci

      @@l.a1532damn bro just fucking hates autistic people

  • @Rex-ik9hf
    @Rex-ik9hf Před 2 měsíci +1127

    This is why conversations, especially with kids and teens may feel easier in a car or walking side by side, not having to look at each other is less confrontational and doesn't require them to look anywhere.

    • @lindboknifeandtool
      @lindboknifeandtool Před 2 měsíci +31

      That’s where 99% of the important conversations I’ve had with my parents have been.
      I would’ve preferred another way. I think the one on one thing is a muscle, one that’s completely atrophied for me.
      It’s reducing communication to words, and we all know that’s not how we perceive communication the strongest.

    • @SineN0mine3
      @SineN0mine3 Před 2 měsíci +12

      ​​@@lindboknifeandtooli think with close relationships like those between a parent and child, or even between partners it helps to have this tool because it can get overwhelming to have all the other kinds of communication.
      Sometimes words have the nuance and specificity that raw emotion can't explain. If you're mad at somebody, for example; it's probably going to make the person feel better about it if they understand why you're upset.
      Maybe the person is just going through something or maybe you're doing something that bugs them that's easy to stop doing.
      In either case, you're not going to get the full picture with body language, and expecting people to respond to body language with that much nuance is bordering on passive aggressive.
      You can communicate a lot with body language and acts of kindness, but it's always good to tell people you care about them too. Written or spoken words don't carry the same weight as the subtle involuntary ones, but they give those context and meaning that they'd otherwise be missing.

    • @David_Huffman
      @David_Huffman Před 2 měsíci +1

      Sorry, but you now have 666 likes

    • @Halberds6
      @Halberds6 Před 2 měsíci +3

      Me when my parent says to keep eye contact for the billionth time

  • @kekegarcia4189
    @kekegarcia4189 Před 2 měsíci +596

    People will always tell me im rude for looking at their mouth while theyre talking 😐 i cant help it.. i feel like it helps me better comprehend what's being said.

    • @annamossity8879
      @annamossity8879 Před 2 měsíci +6

      Yes!

    • @kekegarcia4189
      @kekegarcia4189 Před 2 měsíci +20

      @violett874 I'm pretty convicted in my way of thinking, especially when it comes to religion, politics, etc. But I'm also open minded if someone can prove their point or provide a different perspective that i never considered before. But I wouldn't say I'm easily persuaded in the sense of like, I'm not gonna fall for some cult shit 🤣

    • @tantuce
      @tantuce Před 2 měsíci +18

      Yes, I hear them better when looking at their mouth. Well, I don't stare of course. I look all over their face, but mostly at mouth.

    • @tortoisesoup16
      @tortoisesoup16 Před 2 měsíci +16

      People who say that to you are the rude ones

    • @urbescapade
      @urbescapade Před 2 měsíci +24

      Honestly it kinda makes more sense to look at the mouth than the eyes. I have slight hearing troubles so sometimes I need the added benefit of lip reading to fully understand, I never realised just how much I lip read until a couple years ago when we all wore masks.

  • @tosiccid4000
    @tosiccid4000 Před 2 měsíci +201

    I appreciate that in this day and age you stick to stock footage and old clips to make a point and not AI generated images

    • @Solotocius
      @Solotocius Před 2 měsíci +3

      Rent-free

    • @jamesharvester9916
      @jamesharvester9916 Před 2 měsíci +2

      @@Solotocius what are you even saying

    • @Solotocius
      @Solotocius Před 2 měsíci +1

      @@jamesharvester9916 a new piece of technology OC doesn't like is living in their head rent-free negatively.

    • @AmirRazan
      @AmirRazan Před 2 měsíci +10

      ​@@Solotocius but wouldn't you also hate it when you're being shoved AI generated content 24/7 when you know the people behind the content can easily use ready-to-use, human-made stock media?

    • @Solotocius
      @Solotocius Před 2 měsíci +2

      @@AmirRazan stock footage has never been something I've valued enough to prefer over the AI generated alternative.

  • @pelago_
    @pelago_ Před 2 měsíci +290

    That one about being less persuasive is super interesting, I always thought eye contact showed honesty and integrity. I’ll have to change that up.

    • @AxlCake
      @AxlCake Před 2 měsíci +30

      Eye contact when trying to persuade can amount to a sense of someone imposing themselves on you, telling someone that making their own decision or conclusion is not important to you

    • @demikweer
      @demikweer Před 2 měsíci +1

      Not for politicians

    • @JmKrokY
      @JmKrokY Před 2 měsíci +2

      Fr

    • @imxluke
      @imxluke Před 2 měsíci +9

      natural eye contact consists of looking away from time to time. you don’t just stare at a person the entire time you are talking to them.

    • @SineN0mine3
      @SineN0mine3 Před 2 měsíci +2

      It depends on the context. It shows you hold conviction in your beliefs and won't be easily discouraged from your intentions. That's valuable in many encounters, especially a sales pitch.
      Sales pitches rarely rely on logical arguments or even emotional ones. If you want to convince somebody of a moral argument, though you'll probably fare better with a more conversational and informative approach.
      People do expect some eye contact in any conversation, but people are usually aware if you're deliberately using it to persuade them.
      The thing you're mostly communicating is 'I really believe this thing' but that isn't necessarily convincing in and of itself, it depends what you're trying to convince us of as to whether your self belief adds something to the persuasiveness.

  • @TheoryofJustus
    @TheoryofJustus Před 2 měsíci +45

    At risk of being a pedantic know-it-all CZcams comment, this mixed up Inverse vs Converse in formal logic. For the statement "if you make eye contact, you will produce oxytocin," the Inverse would negate both statements (if you don't hold eye contact, then you won't produce oxytocin). Swapping order from If P, then Q to if Q, then P would be the Converse. Love your content!!

    • @_magnify
      @_magnify  Před 2 měsíci +21

      Thanks for the help, I’ll remember that!

    • @Deadflower019
      @Deadflower019 Před 2 měsíci +2

      Thank you for your obnoxious correction, this was a very fun read.

  • @ediebegonia
    @ediebegonia Před 2 měsíci +304

    I have prosopagnosia and generally avoid eye contact since I avoid looking at faces. It actually takes a concerted effort to remember to look directly at someone. I'm sure people think I'm being rude, but it's just how my brain works. (Side note, I recognize people better from behind.)

    • @Suicune-oz4ou
      @Suicune-oz4ou Před 2 měsíci +19

      I feel this. I will often get halfway through a conversation with someone, remember I am supposed to have been making eye contact, have a small panick because I'm not sure if I have been making eye contact so far in the conversation or not. And then I spend the rest of the conversation tuning out half of what they are saying to focus on trying to make eye contact, which is basically just looking at their nose, left eye, and right eye in turns and wondering exactly where it is I'm supposed to be looking to look like I am making eye contact.

    • @pittiebaby
      @pittiebaby Před 2 měsíci

      ​@@Suicune-oz4ouSame😭

    • @PramkLuna
      @PramkLuna Před 2 měsíci +5

      I usually try to focus on the glasses or eyebrows so it appears I'm looking at them, but even that is difficult

    • @dudemanlastname
      @dudemanlastname Před 2 měsíci +1

      what is prosopagnosia?

    • @evientually
      @evientually Před 2 měsíci

      ​@@dudemanlastnameface blindness. It's a spectrum along which someone doesn't recognize faces very well. It can be lifelong and some people create coping mechanisms young enough & effective enough that they never realize they even have it (these people do things like introduce themselves first in mixed groups so that both people new and familiar will introduce themselves, for example) but it can also be a serious problem. For someone with prosopagnosia there are many things that work apart from faces. Voice, height & weight, walk, body language & posture, wardrobe, tattoos, habitual movements, even smell. Of course basic 'Guess Who?' traits work too: _does my uncle wear glasses? This could be my uncle'_ or _My boss is the only one who comes to work with a watch on, therefore this is my boss,_ or _my sister is blonde, there are three blondes in this room, but one has a pegleg and one is taller than me so the third must be my sister._ God help those of us who are young, still learning, and have to go to a school with uniforms. I'm sure it would be a nightmare if I had to do it again with the face blindness issue I have now. I had a head injury in 2013 and afterwards couldn't even recognize myself in the mirror. I still don't if I'm not expecting a mirror: my first impulse is "Hey that chick is wearing the same shirt/dress/hat as me!" I don't recognize my parents. In a crowd they'd have to come to me (but I don't see them often enough outside of their homes for it to matter). I can ID people on TV & in movies like a fuckin pro for some reason but they'd have to wear a name tag for me to know them in person. I also have a hell of a time identifying different cars, my neurologist thinks that's related given the difficulties it poses and the patterns it seems to replicate. I don't understand how it works, but I didn't get to choose the particulars. Neither did anyone else dealing with it, nor what works for them and doesn't, or the extent to which they have issues identifying people.😂
      People on the Spectrum are more likely to deal with it but it happens to neurotypical individuals. It can also be a short- or long-term symptom of traumatic brain injury, brain tumors, etc.

  • @legosoniclover
    @legosoniclover Před 2 měsíci +208

    Last part really made me feel self conscious.

    • @JeremyHelm
      @JeremyHelm Před 2 měsíci +7

      How was he looking at my eyebrow?

  • @SD-hk4fs
    @SD-hk4fs Před 2 měsíci +405

    As an autistic who avoids eye contact because I find it very uncomfortable, I figured out that you can get away with feigning eye contact by looking slightly up or down a long time ago lmao, kind of a lifesaver for me ngl

    • @vaulz_
      @vaulz_ Před 2 měsíci +12

      I usually look at their mouth or if I want to make them uncomfortable too just stare at their forehead 😂

    • @rosella5358
      @rosella5358 Před 2 měsíci +6

      Stare at their receding hairline. Then they'll know how you feel when you have to stare at their remarkably boring eyes.

    • @SallinKari
      @SallinKari Před 2 měsíci +31

      I'm autistic and I'm generally fine with eye contact except for the fact I don't understand the timing. Because people get weirded out if you never break it, but think you're dismissive or belittling them if you don't maintain it long enough, so I basically have mental counters in a conversation about optimal times to glance away or things like that, refined over decades of trail and error.

    • @SD-hk4fs
      @SD-hk4fs Před 2 měsíci +9

      @@SallinKari Yeah I still haven't figured that part out and honestly I refuse to go through the effort at this point. I just do the fake eye contact sometimes and hope for the best lmao

    • @SallinKari
      @SallinKari Před 2 měsíci +8

      @@SD-hk4fs I literally started with just glancing somewhere every 10 seconds or something. You can do somebody language, like nodding or shoulder shrug while you look away so they don't think you're evasive or nervous... As far as I can tell, it works well enough.

  • @Nikki0417
    @Nikki0417 Před 2 měsíci +12

    There's also the ADHD case: it looks like I'm totally paying attention to what someone's saying, but I'm actually thinking about 20 different, completely unrelated things.

    • @TJ-vh2ps
      @TJ-vh2ps Před 2 měsíci +1

      Yes and also the other ADHD case where I’m looking somewhere else but actually listening very intently. Of course I may still not recall what you just said a minute later.

  • @fatine
    @fatine Před 2 měsíci +32

    I’ve seen you post less subtitles please keep them on for the whole video if possible !!! Thank you

    • @NotGabe001
      @NotGabe001 Před 2 měsíci +2

      Long press > turn on captions.
      You're welcome. I personally find subtitles very distracting so I like when I find a short that doesn't have them. If I want subtitles, I just turn on captions. It would be cool, though, if creators that already put subtitles in their shorts would just do normal subtitles, that way it's not baked into the video. But to each their own I guess

    • @fatine
      @fatine Před 2 měsíci +1

      @@NotGabe001 i'm watching on browser and sometimes i don't have the subtitles option sadly, or even if i have it it doesn't write correctly

    • @TheAnantaSesa
      @TheAnantaSesa Před 2 měsíci +3

      @@fatinethere are auto generated captions that have all kinds of errors. Then there are user submitted caption files made by voice to text transcription w/out any proofreading. But occasionally you can find vids with user submitted files that actually got proofread to match what words were spoken.

    • @Hi_Im_Akward
      @Hi_Im_Akward Před 2 měsíci +3

      ​@@NotGabe001 honestly, it's more accessible if creators have properly written CC included in their videos. Auto generated is typically really bad, and many videos are unwatchable for people who are deaf or HoH. A lot of people with audio processing disorders also need them. You find them a little distracting? We find many videos unwatchable. Accessibility is more important and relying on AI which does a crap job is not good enough.

  • @ross6753
    @ross6753 Před 2 měsíci +37

    The fact that eye contact is threatening should be known by everyone. It's like that with all animals, why should it be different with us?

    • @jirivorobel942
      @jirivorobel942 Před 2 měsíci +2

      The problem is that a lot of positive signals are a negation of a threat. A smile is very similar to showing teeth, but with a twist - it means "I'm not going to bite you". A kiss is putting the dangerous ends together gently. So is a handshake. Big American smiles are scary to most animals and a surprising number of people.

    • @tomcat5151
      @tomcat5151 Před 2 měsíci +2

      ​@@jirivorobel942putting the dangerous ends together - what does this mean?

    • @rhael42
      @rhael42 Před 2 měsíci

      @@tomcat5151 it means they're an idiot

  • @grammar_ash
    @grammar_ash Před 2 měsíci +148

    From age 8 to age 16, I lived with my family in Indonesia, where it is seen as a sexually forward move for a woman to make eye contact with a man. It took me so long once we got back to the States to feel comfortable looking men in the eye.

    • @tantuce
      @tantuce Před 2 měsíci +17

      Awful to realise how little their men need to proceed uninvited.

    • @PushUpG
      @PushUpG Před 2 měsíci

      What part of Indonesia were you at? Because I don't think that's true... But hey, the culture are just too different from each other

    • @JmKrokY
      @JmKrokY Před 2 měsíci

      🤔

    • @nyanSynxPHOENIX
      @nyanSynxPHOENIX Před 2 měsíci

      Unfortunately looking at rates and legal responses, it's not dramatically better in the US. ​@@tantuce

    • @MandMs05
      @MandMs05 Před 2 měsíci +8

      I'm a male from the US, but I went and visited a female friend in Malaysia and we were making eye contact while chatting and then she randomly spouts "So while I was in religious school they taught us that eye contact between men and women is bad because at least one of them is gonna be a pervert and think sexual things if you do that, which is how I know religious school was BS"
      Which, in the moment made eye contact suddenly really awkward, but at the same time was kinda funny given that it was completely irrelevant to the conversation and was literally just a random thought she had out loud lol
      Even funnier that she's a practicing Muslim and I'm a Latter Day Saint

  • @masberrycreek782
    @masberrycreek782 Před 2 měsíci +33

    always looked at my dads forehead when he yelled at me, really helped

  • @BethDiane
    @BethDiane Před 2 měsíci +7

    I once managed to creep someone out by staring at them across the room. Only I wasn't; I was actually staring into space.

    • @creaturalshade7054
      @creaturalshade7054 Před 2 měsíci

      This happened to me at a gas station. Dude got really mad too, even after I said "My bad man, I was miles away..." he made a big scene of it and acted like he wanted to fight. I didn't flinch tho and kind of just shrugged my shoulders and he ended up backing out of the store while now keeping eye contact with me... He was probably institutionalized or something, maybe he had a flashback to the prison yard.

  • @kakkacarmenelectra7229
    @kakkacarmenelectra7229 Před 2 měsíci +5

    I have damaged hearing so I always look at people’s mouths… but that’s because I’m lip reading to help hear/understand what the person is saying.
    I didn’t know people actually chose to look at people’s mouths

    • @HmmmmmLemmeThinkNo
      @HmmmmmLemmeThinkNo Před 2 měsíci

      It's pretty common for folks with auditory processing disorder (often seen in autistics and folks w ADHD) - idk the exact reasing but for me the combo of reading lips and hearing speech ensures I mishear fewer things and have a better chance at knowing what was said even if I don't hear it

  • @alfiewilson5482
    @alfiewilson5482 Před 2 měsíci +55

    I HAVE AUTISM AND AM VERY SCARED

    • @tantuce
      @tantuce Před 2 měsíci +6

      Sit next to your ftiend, both look same direction and you take it easy

    • @MarieFüchschen
      @MarieFüchschen Před 3 dny

      It’s such an alien concept! Maybe some people in charge had and have just a kink for eye contact with other people…

  • @rendros88
    @rendros88 Před 2 měsíci +12

    Your content is really, really good, man. Always happy to see you pop up in my feed.

  • @moxolotla6566
    @moxolotla6566 Před 2 měsíci +2

    Growing up being an introvert like my mom, she had given me a really great advice which is if you look at someone’s forehead it looks like you are making eye contact

  • @DopamineSage
    @DopamineSage Před 2 měsíci +3

    I struggle with eye contact and if someone stares at me. If someone stares at me, it feels like they are analysing everything I do. And if I stare at them, I tend to over analyse how much eye contact to give and struggle to get any thoughts out 😅

    • @annamossity8879
      @annamossity8879 Před 2 měsíci +1

      And the conversation is lost! 🤷🏻‍♀️

  • @plenilunium
    @plenilunium Před 2 měsíci +1

    If I am in conversation with someone, I mostly fixate on the eyes to convey that I am giving a hundred percent of my attention to them.

  • @pyotrberia9741
    @pyotrberia9741 Před 2 měsíci +2

    Another myth is that avoiding eye contact is a sign of dishonesty. In Australian aboriginal culture, it is a sign of respect. It was very unfortunate for defendants in court.

    • @Nockgun
      @Nockgun Před 8 dny

      Avoiding eye contact is passive

  • @De_Conducteur
    @De_Conducteur Před 2 měsíci +12

    Love your videos! I especially appreciate when I can tell you are having fun with it (by giggling at your own jokes for instance).
    Keep them coming please 😊

  • @UnashamedCaliforniagirl
    @UnashamedCaliforniagirl Před 2 měsíci +7

    This explains why too much eye contact makes me uncomfortable 😂

  • @therizinosaurus214
    @therizinosaurus214 Před 2 měsíci +2

    some cultures also have different social rules for eye contact as well.

  • @LilyJaneH
    @LilyJaneH Před 2 měsíci +17

    Being able to tell if someone is making eye contact with me would require me to be comfortable making eye contact with them, and there are very few people with whom I am capable of that with any regularity. I also sometimes have to read lips a bit, so that makes it even harder.

    • @evientually
      @evientually Před 2 měsíci +1

      COVID masking is hell on lip reading isn't it? I'd rather not get sick than understand someone though, so it was nice practice for my giving-up-now nod.

  • @ultrabumblebee
    @ultrabumblebee Před 2 měsíci +2

    Prolonged eye contact🎶
    (Prolonged eye contact!)
    Prolonged eye contact🎶
    (Prolonged eye contact!)

  • @ART85713
    @ART85713 Před 2 měsíci +1

    I really enjoy your videos. They're informative and have snippets of humor. 👌🏻

  • @jeremynkelley
    @jeremynkelley Před 2 měsíci +1

    I have a feeling these results could change depending on the culture of a place and the culture of a time. For instance we live in an age where people feel like they’re constantly being scammed so eye contact is seen as such. Neat stuff. I like this channel.

  • @lindseyreyes983
    @lindseyreyes983 Před 2 měsíci

    I have difficulty with auditory processing so subtitles and watching people's mouths as they speak helps incredibly!

  • @AntifascistBlueThing
    @AntifascistBlueThing Před 2 měsíci +3

    As someone with autism, eye contact makes me EXTREMELY uncomfortable. Here’s a myth for ya, eye contact means someone is paying attention. I can pay attention plenty while looking at the floor

    • @TheAnantaSesa
      @TheAnantaSesa Před 2 měsíci

      Interesting how anyone can understand anything said on the radio of via telephone since you can't look into the speaker's eyes. Eye contact is so over rated.

  • @crystalliced
    @crystalliced Před 7 dny

    My grandpa taught me to look at the bridge of the nose instead of flicking between one eye and the other- he had a glass eye, and I had a hard time focusing on just one when I was a kid- it helps immensely for people who dislike eye contact tbh

  • @cecestover3332
    @cecestover3332 Před 2 měsíci

    I had a gymnastics coach that taught me if you look just above someone’s eyes it looks like you’re making eye contact to them. This helps when performing and speaking because it’s less nerve wracking

  • @LegitHandle
    @LegitHandle Před 2 měsíci +1

    For me making eye contact is like staring directly into the sun, it stings my eye and I can barely hold it for long

  • @majinjason
    @majinjason Před 2 měsíci +2

    I avoid eye contact like the plague. I honestly think its from bootcamp😂
    You eyeballing me!!!

  • @flahaerty9873
    @flahaerty9873 Před 2 měsíci +2

    I don't look to eyes even when I talk or listen to friends. And they do so too

  • @ThemommaBear195
    @ThemommaBear195 Před 2 měsíci

    I like your shorts. I’m glad they came back into my feed. 😁

  • @Gamr-bc6kp
    @Gamr-bc6kp Před 2 měsíci

    I’ve literally never heard that first one. In anything it releases the “please stop looking directly at me I have trouble making eye contact with people I’m not incredibly close to” hormones

  • @bugsized
    @bugsized Před 2 měsíci +1

    i teach “look at their eyebrows they can’t tell” in therapy w autistic clients lolol

  • @That_Chikin
    @That_Chikin Před 2 měsíci +1

    Great video, very informative 👍🏽 If you see this comment please tell me, how long does it take you to make a video?

    • @_magnify
      @_magnify  Před 2 měsíci +1

      Once I’ve got a script written, it takes about 6-7 hours to produce!

  • @Hi_Im_Akward
    @Hi_Im_Akward Před 2 měsíci

    Im autistic, hate eye contact, heavily mask. Some things I've learned from a lot of social observation is that the people who like and insist on eye contact (aka nurotypicals) don't actually sustain it. THEY don't know how much eye contact is expected they just "intuitively know" the right amount. There is a pattern. When a person is talking, it is pretty typical for their gaze to go from eye contact to looking around, its really common for people to look up and away while trying to recall something. The other part of that pattern is if your listening, you should generally be looking at them aka "giving eye contact". I believe you might? Be able to tell if its "your turn" to talk if they look at you, but I mostly go by the slight lull in the conversation. Hope that helps the autistic peeps. 😊

  • @WendyandBradPitt
    @WendyandBradPitt Před měsícem

    When I started teaching homebuyer education, I was a nervous public speaker. Someone suggested that I talk to the tops of people's heads instead of to their faces. The people won't know you aren't looking at their eyes.

  • @dndndndndn419
    @dndndndndn419 Před 2 měsíci

    I used to intentionally look at people just above the eyebrows to see if they could tell. It was interesting how some folks would get uneasy without realizing why and others fully didn’t notice

  • @Jack_Ceu_e_Terra
    @Jack_Ceu_e_Terra Před 2 měsíci

    Yes, from my experience mostly noone notices that you're looking at their whole face and not their eyes. The people who said that they knew where people who also do that and most of them where people who don't like holding eye contact or feel uncomfortable if they do hold eye contact.

  • @infainyt
    @infainyt Před 2 měsíci +1

    Telling this to everyone who asks why I'm always staring at the ground or sky

  • @SpagettiSpeltWrong
    @SpagettiSpeltWrong Před 2 měsíci

    "There's about 4 degrees of wiggle room."
    Me who's not even facing the person I'm talking to: "Phew I'm safe."

  • @Nick-cp8wf
    @Nick-cp8wf Před 2 měsíci +1

    Great channel

  • @myheartismadeofstars
    @myheartismadeofstars Před 2 měsíci +1

    You know? The higher levels of oxytocin enabling better eye contact makes a lot of sense. I'm autistic and hate eye contact. I can make eye contact quite well with my fiance, but even then the discomfort and pain start after a while. But some people i struggle with even MAKING eye contact

  • @alycat24ab
    @alycat24ab Před 2 měsíci

    Trick i learned in speech and debate: Look at the foreheads!! It's in that wiggle room and gives the impression of eye contact without it being true eye contact.
    Second tip, more for actual speeches, is to only focus on a single person for 5-10 seconds. Make the impression, then move on! Try and look at everyone in the room throughout the speech. That way everyone has that connection, and no one has that "singled out threatened" feel!

  • @MariaEduarda-uc6gt
    @MariaEduarda-uc6gt Před 2 měsíci +1

    makes sense since most of the animal kingdom interprets direct and persistent eye contact as defiance and aggression

  • @hockeyhacker97
    @hockeyhacker97 Před 2 měsíci

    For the 3rd one I have the opposite problem, I think I am making eye contact and either am not or am perceived as not doing so, one of the 3 different medical professionals that all came to the conclusion I have autism in the same week after an extended nap attempt after being the target of a hate crime I had mentioned that the other two medical professionals suggested I probably have autism, and their reply was "yeah you do, between your actions after having someone attempt to kill you being people pleasing and your inability to keep eye contact I had shifted my questions and everything you said leads me to the same conclusion". So yeah I think I am making eye contact while others think I am not.

  • @oferzilberman5049
    @oferzilberman5049 Před 2 měsíci

    I have ADHD, and part of it is my innate difficulty to hold eye contact with someone while talking to them. I talked about it with my therapist, and she suggested that I look at one of their interesting or funny facial features so it looks like I am looking at them

  • @Pur9leRain
    @Pur9leRain Před 2 měsíci

    Feel reassured re the wiggle room for eye contact. Going to continue looking at the tips of noses, thank you very much.

  • @MynameisS_A
    @MynameisS_A Před 2 měsíci +2

    The next time I stand for President, I will be sure to take that into account.

  • @pringlescan81
    @pringlescan81 Před 2 měsíci

    As an introvert I struggle with eye contact. My secret is to look at their eyes, determine their eye color, then look at the bridge of their nose in between their eyes. Do that for a couple of seconds and for most cases that’s sufficient.

  • @strawbraryliberry4604
    @strawbraryliberry4604 Před 2 měsíci

    Some people are really hung up on eye contact, I've always thought it was a little strange when people think I'm not listening just because I'm not looking at them. But I still can hear.
    Now I'm at least partly trained to look at them, but none of my friends make constant eye contact during conversations, which makes me feel I need to look away so they don't feel self conscious.
    It's hard to know when I'm supposed to look at people.
    I stare too much in job situations I think 😹

  • @TheGothRedhead
    @TheGothRedhead Před 2 měsíci

    I subconsciously avoid eye contact all the time, and people always try to make me look them in the eye, which makes me very uncomfortable.

  • @cucummmber
    @cucummmber Před 2 měsíci

    In my culture (Māori of Aotearoa-New Zealand), eye contact is very rude. Prolonged eye contact is considered a sign of intimidation and may result in a heated exchange.

  • @Ellie_09
    @Ellie_09 Před 2 měsíci

    I stare directly into people's eyes for the sole reason of freaking them out or making them nervous, it's even more effective if I don't blink at all!

  • @rowanoak433
    @rowanoak433 Před 2 měsíci

    I usually end up looking at people's noses or foreheads because prolonged eye contact is a little too intense for me

  • @avocado_pop
    @avocado_pop Před 2 měsíci

    the way i push through my aversion to making eye contact with people (autism) is i stair at people's eyebrows or the bridge of their nose. though really today I am more comfortable with myself and my disabilities that eye contact isn't necessary, they won't listen to what I say regardless

  • @domg.1011
    @domg.1011 Před 2 měsíci

    Me as a kid: stubborn
    Me now that I've started to lose my hearing: doormat

  • @SessaV
    @SessaV Před 2 měsíci

    In martial arts we were told to look at the judges eyebrows when addressing them if we were nervous

  • @luluraheem8487
    @luluraheem8487 Před 2 měsíci

    I struggle so much with eye contact, i never understood how it's the "natural" place to look when talking with someone. I naturally look at their mouth because that's what moves, am i really the only one? I usually have to dart between their eyes and their mouth, only because of how much the eye contact thing is given importance, but if i didn't have to i would probably never look at people's eyes unless I'm close to them.

  • @karrde5566
    @karrde5566 Před 2 měsíci +1

    about the type of person that stares at the subtitles even though they have no trouble hearing you at all? lol

  • @BabyBat14
    @BabyBat14 Před 2 měsíci

    As an autistic person this was very relieving, thank you

  • @RedTHedge
    @RedTHedge Před 2 měsíci +1

    I don't like how I started looking at his eyebrow (unintentionally) as he said that

  • @skeletini9836
    @skeletini9836 Před 2 měsíci

    i hate when my teachers would look me in the eyes while talking. some of them would do it relentlessly. i was talking to one of my professors one day and he said he appreciated how i was always looking forward and didn’t have my laptop out. i realized the reason he was always looking at me is because i was the one of only ones actually looking at him…

  • @spookyplaguedoctor5714
    @spookyplaguedoctor5714 Před 2 měsíci

    You called me out with the eyebrow thing, I always do that so I don't have to make eye contact with people.

  • @jjmetrejhon1743
    @jjmetrejhon1743 Před 2 měsíci

    I'm really interested in the one about looking at the mouth being more likely to change your mind. As someone with audio processing issues, I have to look at people's mouths or else I can't hear what they're saying. Like the oxytocin fact, I wonder if there's a correlation between people who look at mouths and people who have a specific state of mind, or a neurodivergence.

  • @dakotadove.
    @dakotadove. Před 2 měsíci

    my public speaking professor told us that the taller you are the less you have to look at someone’s eyes. so im 6’2” and if i’m talking to a seated audience while i’m standing, i can just look at their foreheads and it’s enough for the audience to feel like i’m looking at them without the intimidation of staring right into their eyes

  • @carbonbeaker409
    @carbonbeaker409 Před 2 měsíci

    Sir. Sir! I must protest this revealing of my secrets such that the general populace that has consumed this communique may henceforth correctly judge that I am in fact not meeting their gaze, and am instead endeavoring to deceive them in regards to my tolerance of eye contact.

  • @tims1407
    @tims1407 Před 2 měsíci

    In the first myth, I think it would be more correct to say that the CONVERSE is true - that oxytocin causes increased eye contact. The inverse would be that eye contact causes DECREASED oxytocin.

  • @timothytumusiime2903
    @timothytumusiime2903 Před 2 měsíci

    My habit is looking at the eyes of a conversational partner briefly, to establish that I'm engaged in it then lazily flick my gaze all over their face, the surroundings, the middle distance while returning to the eyes occasionally
    I only make sustained eye contact when I want to make the person I'm looking at uncomfortable or I'm trying to make a point in an argument
    And one time, I dared my friend for us to look each other in the eye without smiling in amusement .....and we failed

  • @sylvanticx
    @sylvanticx Před měsícem

    I’m autistic and eye contact is unnerving for me. However, as a small child I somehow picked up the masking technique of looking at eyebrows and noses. It fools people pretty well. Really though I’d rather not look at your eyebrows and nose, either, as looking at your mouth or somewhere else entirely is more comfortable.

  • @Iwasonceanonionwithnolayers
    @Iwasonceanonionwithnolayers Před 2 měsíci

    Studies have revealed that people eye contacting me increases my ✨️anxiety✨️

  • @WendyandBradPitt
    @WendyandBradPitt Před měsícem

    The second one is true with dogs. A dog will become aggressive with another dog if the other dog stares at them. My dog has the bad habit of staring. She has started many barking fights.

  • @proja764
    @proja764 Před 2 měsíci

    Sometimes my eyes physically hurt when I look at someone's eye close. Maybe it's connected with my social anxiety and the fact that cringe situations hurt me more than what regular people experience?

  • @TylerOfTrade
    @TylerOfTrade Před 2 měsíci +1

    I couldn't find if you made a video about this, it seems like something you would make a video about. But what's with curse words? Their origin, both geographically and purpose. And why nowadays, I've found English curse words to be almost universal. I watched a video of a Norwegian fight and everything was in Norwegian except the insults and curses.

  • @samehabouez8267
    @samehabouez8267 Před 15 hodinami

    The only W I had for a long time😂. I rarely hold any eye contact

  • @thoopsy
    @thoopsy Před 2 měsíci

    As somebody with autism, I'm so glad looking at a different part of their face works. I do the nose, usually. Also I didn't look at this entire episode because I knew it would be more intense than usual.

  • @HDMSC
    @HDMSC Před 2 měsíci

    Im autistic and I strongly avoid eye contact. I can only comfortably keep it with very close friends, girlfriend and parents

  • @jellymoon2550
    @jellymoon2550 Před 2 měsíci

    I use that wiggle room to look at the bridge of their nose. No struggling with "which eye do I look at"

  • @GiuseppeGaetanoSabatelli
    @GiuseppeGaetanoSabatelli Před 2 měsíci

    As an Italian who talks with his hands, I've been told by a narcissist who argues with someone "My eyes are over here" when I was gesturing a point I was trying to make. I just walked away. LMFAO

  • @ObviouslyDiego
    @ObviouslyDiego Před 2 měsíci +11

    Funny enough, that graph puts Japanese and Finnish people, the most awkwardly social individuals there are 🤣

  • @TheFakeyCakeMaker
    @TheFakeyCakeMaker Před 2 měsíci

    If you want to disarm someone because you're feeling threatened by them or they're simply annoying you, just keep staring at the corner of their mouth when they speak to you. Just keep looking at it. They'll get paranoid (and par-annoyed 😏)

  • @benjaminli21
    @benjaminli21 Před 2 měsíci

    This is so funny and educational 😂

  • @aleksalimb
    @aleksalimb Před 2 měsíci

    The ironic thing is that when he started talking about how someone might not make direct eye contact, I was just looking at his eyebrow (because I avoid eye contact even when watching a video ;))

  • @PeterChristofilopoulos
    @PeterChristofilopoulos Před 2 měsíci

    I was looking at the glasses collections... however speaking about eyebrows, great tip if you want to annoy a person cause they think they know everything....when they talk to you or you talk to them stare at the top mid point of their eyebrow or tip of their nose.

  • @andreaw2053
    @andreaw2053 Před 2 měsíci

    When my boss starts hurling abuse at me I always hold solid eye contact. It makes him super uncomfortable.

  • @connorburton1009
    @connorburton1009 Před 2 měsíci +1

    I dunno who this guy is but his mouth is pretty convincing

  • @thunderblood4898
    @thunderblood4898 Před 2 měsíci

    What I hate is when I see someone move their head in my direction so I look at them but they weren’t looking at me and now they are and I’m the creep who’s still looking because I’m caught off guard

  • @oakavon
    @oakavon Před 2 měsíci +1

    Just ask Amber Heard’s jury about eye contact! They hated how she kept staring them down!

  • @carrotsprout5188
    @carrotsprout5188 Před 2 měsíci

    not you calling me out at the end 😭
    I always look at eyebrows instead of the eyes

  • @ulvjenta88
    @ulvjenta88 Před 2 měsíci

    Im just glad now a days is not so pushed on the whole eye conact thing, i had to learn to stare at nose or eyebrows to have "eye conact" and shake hand 😅 but.. bit problem i got so build inn me it semes like im intrested in sted 😅 so been alot of "im not intrested im only nice" 😅

  • @Adaman135
    @Adaman135 Před 2 měsíci

    Always been a mouth watcher

  • @McSkellyHo
    @McSkellyHo Před 2 měsíci

    If you want to easily win an argument with someone, stare at their forehead instead of making eye contact. This is a very quick way to make whoever you're arguing with uncomfortable enough to drop the argument altogether, leaving you the winner

  • @தமிழோன்
    @தமிழோன் Před 2 měsíci

    It's the universal rule in the Animal Kingdom that eye contact is a form of threat. Humans are animals too. We feel uncomfortable and threatened if a stranger makes an eye contact just like any other animal would feel.

  • @persephonesodapop9103
    @persephonesodapop9103 Před 2 měsíci

    My husband recently pointed out to me that I can’t pick an eye when making eye contact. So as someone is talking to me and we make eye contact, I’m constantly switching between both of their eyes😂

  • @antoniopacelli
    @antoniopacelli Před 2 měsíci

    Kennedy is Immune to That...
    Thank you Medici.
    Another Hit in your Classic Stile Lines No One Remembers...
    But All still tends to Love .
    P.S:
    I am sorry..
    When I am Sick I tend to Feeling it Inside...
    Maybe Just Maybe... was TGFß...
    Maybe Just Maybe... Curing Me Against all Odds Even if I looked like A Monster to you all ..
    Was Necessary.
    Also NGF Enhancement brings to high Levels of TGFß...
    [Not Only the Immunisation to Ours Self..
    They had Higher Level of NGF...
    We were Simply Immunised..for too many things..!
    Reverse the Polarisation of Our Own Self..
    Reduce the TGFß
    Return as People who Came from the Sky]
    We were never Fake with you Tho ..
    Always Open.
    Never Close.
    Still Loving Freak The Mighty...