WHY PEOPLE CAN’T STAND THE INFJ BEATING TO THEIR OWN DRUM
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- čas přidán 7. 06. 2022
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INFJ Life Coach Lesson: There are many reasons why people can stand the INFJ's independent spirit. For one, we enjoy being able to think for ourselves and come up with unique ideas that others might not otherwise think of on their own. In addition, it has been said that our personality type often finds fulfillment in helping other individuals achieve what is best suited just for them which shows once again how selfless we can be and people are always doubting if we don't have ulterior motives!
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#INFJ #INFJLIFECOACH #LIFECOACHING - Jak na to + styl
Do you feel like people have a problem with you doing your own thing?
not anymore now i adopted the trample skills.. If you are a narcassist and you get in my way with any emotions abuse. Exspect trampling.
Yes. The other people seem to get offended when I try to be my true self. But at this point, I do not care.
Yep, but being myself and sharing my thoughts is more valuable then what they might think of me.
I wish this video existed while I was going through grade school. Problem with me is that usually I stood my ground, which made me getting bullied for wrost or better, and as I got older, my experience made me more spiteful, and not only have a lot of hatred for myself, but hate people in general. Even after realizing it was happening because my personality was making them feel uncomfortable with their idea of their selfs, or their ego as Wenzes puts it, which my mother told me this at a young age, and I later found out she is an INFJ herself as well; it only made me more introverted and pushback people more.
Absolutely. I used to pretend to enjoy tedious ritualistic events I no longer participate in at all. I enjoy my own company way too much! Thank you!
The unhealthy INFJ is forced to move to everyone else’s drum. The healthy INFJ finds and makes their own drumbeat.
Nicely put.
You've got that right
The shock and awe. 😲 🤭
Didn't know it at the time, but my transformation toward healthy happened in my fifties. Am now 90 and only discovered the MBTI thing 3 months ago. As so many people have said in other posts, "I wish I had known this stuff when I was younger." Sure is a great feeling to connect the dots with my new found knowledge. Understanding the why has given me total freedom. Thank you Wenzes,
@@billfarley9167 , Appreciated....we INFJ's grow 🪴 at any age and still keep our youth.
It’s a beautiful thing when someone tries to gaslight you and it doesn’t work. What a let down - for them.
Society needs to leave us the HELL 🤷♂️😏😏😒😓alone
I love being an INFJ, and not being like everyone else. They don't like, I don't care.
I've found that to be the case, the more authentic I am, the more people tend to pull away from me. I'm not being mean to these people, I'm just being myself, but it's like they think my spiritual beliefs are weird and think my hobbies are weird, so it just makes me constantly alone.
As I have gotten older and my parents died I experienced a big change as an INFJ. I refuse to get roped into other people’s ways of thinking and petty grievances. INFJ’s have more capacity and power than they realize.
💯
🗽 🏅 ❤️
I didn't have bad parents but as an INFJ they had a huge influence on me. Too much actually. I chose too often to follow what I thought would make them happy rather than choose what would make me happy. I didn't really know myself very well and it was easy to go along with their values and view of how life should be lived. My father has passed and my mother is alive but I feel like she is mentally declining. Anyway, I wonder if its a pretty common feeling of being let go or freed for many INFJs when our parents pass? At least for those of us who let them have too much influence on us?
@@YAMISOOLD2009 Interesting comment. Going along with what our parents want, but in the background, we're going to do our thing one day.... one day. It's a shame that parents aren't given the run down on the different personalities that their children could potentially have so that they can be prepared from day one when they bring their child home from the hospital. It's a big shame that parents don't know how to let each child be their own personality. On the other hand, I can see how difficult it is for parents to trust their children and let their children be ! What Wenzes talks about here often first appears from parents, those sub-conscious triggers from people around us. And it's very hard to disregard your parents' opinions.
@@matilda4406 I wish everybody was taught about different personality types in pre school and then through all formal education. But it seems only a small percentage of people....introverts and maybe us INFJs specifically?....that even bother to take it seriously. So I agree with you but it probably is a pipe dream. I guess the best we can hope for is that parent's understand that their children are not "mini me's" no matter how much they may look like us. They are not "ours" to fill with our fears and prejudices. We should always see them as future individuals and try our hardest to prepare them to be the best version of themselves that they can be. But I don't think my parents or many from the 50s or 60s really thought like that. I have no idea why they even wanted children. Maybe as little human pets?
I’m in my 60s and so wish I had this information much earlier in my life. I have spent my life feeling exactly as you’ve described. Thirty-five years in the corporate world have done it’s damage to myself esteem. It was a soul sucking gilded cage. I lost count of the number of people who asked me why I am so quiet, and comment that I am weird. Around 40, I finally came to terms with my “weirdness” and would reply that yes, I am weird and I’ve learned to embrace it. LOL, which was only partially true because there is always self doubt. I’m now retired and living my best life. I have one close friend, also an INFJ, and have 6 dogs and 3 cats, all rescue, and spend the majority of my time with my daughter, also an INFJ, in my garden, creating a beautiful home, creating my art, and reading. I co-own with my daughter, a small business. I’ve never been so happy. But it was a long and painful road.
love your story, I'm also planning the same escape soon but with a small homestead and working animals e.g. LGDs and a few barn cats
Thank you for your story. Looking forward to doing this as well when I retire 🌸.
yet i play the accordion lol. 30 mins a day, every day... carosol, polka and blue grasss.... In the country with the cows... and now thier meat tastes a little funny.
I’m a 47yo INFJ-A and I seriously don’t care what the world is into, or thinks, or wants. I do me unapologetically. I want no mate or close friends. People suck and destroy beautiful things.
Excellent video Wenzes! And yes, absolutely I've been criticized, ostracized, and treated like a weirdo my whole life for being different. Why can't people just leave me alone and let me be me. Especially if I'm not hurting anyone or bothering anyone? As long as the end result is the same, let me do things my own way. Also, I mind me own business, why can't they mind their's? Why do they want to know mine so badly? 🤷🏼
I really feel this. It feels like somehow I'm held to a higher account than everyone else where I can't get away with anything, and see others getting away with the same things all the time. It's so difficult to accept this
@@nedthestaffieegan3452 Exactly! My whole life, I was the one who got caught doing something, even if 100 other people had done it right before me???
One thing that did lead to was me living by a proper moral compass, and being a decent human being. So for that, I am grateful, but it was really frustrating growing up when you were trying to do what the other kids did to fit in, but you were always the one to get busted, and get in trouble. 🤦🏼🤦🏼🤦🏼
@@TroyPosey that makes me very happy to hear! It's our moral compass and knowing our values and embodying those values as best we can thoughts and choice of words. I am an energy healer and have come to the appreciation that we do what 'feels' right, paying attention to the specific energy centres such as the heart chakra to heal any hurts from being empathetic (which I assume but don't know categorically) and our throat chakra which can be easily out of balance for us with issues around communication 🌺
You have to go all Stoic and ask a classic question. EG: who is this person and what is their motivation? Chances are they are a person not worth listening to. A person not worth looking up to. If you don't want people to cast rocks at you do nothing. This is how you know that you're doing something. Never let unrespectable bother you. Remember that people worth knowing don't do that garbage. Read some Marcus Aurelius on this subject.
Nice 👍
This video makes me think of how a lot of my friends and family, mostly atheist friends love my quantum physics poetry that I've written over the years, but if I explain my poems and how I see the world in a quantum mystical way, that's weird to them and they often don't understand it. It's sad because through my poetry is how I express my true self.
Sounds lovely! 💕
Do I feel like people have a problem with me doing my own thing? Definitely YES. Oh, the complaining and whining I get when I do it a better way that's different from their way. They act out in jealousy rather than it being because I actually do anything wrong. It's initially tough to deal with those "control freaks". Yet, I know there would be something wrong with me if I were to be a coward and not be the fiercely independent me that I am. I'm not a big believer in the "shut up and color" mentality.
I totally agree. The hardest part of my new job is not the job itself but my boss’ attitude. I like to do my own thing my own way without the added stress of other peoples attitudes. I could either try to make her like me or keep doing the job itself without worrying about that & I would say my independent spirit may rub others the wrong way. Have you experienced this Wenzes?
As an introvert master the idgaf phase. And the most high will move obstacles around you I promise that.
I feel no one supports my creative pursuits they way they do with more "popular" people who are making worse things. I think to other creatives im a threat, and to other people I am viewed as weird for having a deep interest and creative pursuit, especially for being so open and sharing with it.
Life still feels like a highschool popularity contest and it definitely is in a lot of ways. Being creative and having a hobby wasnt cool then, and made you an easy target to judge. People that were "popular" then who now do half ass attempts at creative pursuits are admired and adored, not for their contents but because its "cool" to support them. It really genuinely feels like that around here anyway, not coming at this from a place of ego at all, just observation.
they will only support you if it's popular to support you.
YOU are the supporter you actually need...
Relate to this so much! But I think it also comes down to social media where you have to act a certain way to get extra reach in fans (or target group). We as INFJ (well if I speak for myself) can only be real and genuine and this is a bit boring for many. Post a video ASMR of you eating and it will get 100.000 views and some musician playing an instrument on Mozart level will get 100 views. This was(/ still kindoff is) still annoying to see to this day. But accepted we live in a world where shallow will win over the real ones. But like you said, it also happens in real life and with family.
@@howyoudoing88 Yeah absolutely. I know for a fact if I posted a picture of me and some friends out drinking, it would get 10x more likes than me releasing an album ive been working on for years. Its crazy how people have such narrow world views
Yup
@@Marochka yep, it is a world upside down.
It's interesting, even when I'm doing my best to "fit in", people just don't like me. I can tell people to have a nice day and they'll look at me like I insulted their puppy. It's always been so confusing to me.
We truly don’t care, we just are inquisitive as to why people respond to us the way they do
We need more egoistic Fi and learn from INTJs INFPs and leave the nice girl syndrome
The irony being that Wenzes content in its entirety is highly indicative of Fi-Ni convergence, not Ni-Ti
oh man.. thank you. i needed this
but still... i DO care. and i don't want to stop caring.
wtf is wrong with the world that its a problem to care?
That’s a great question lol
This totally puts it in perspective and almost makes me feel bad for these people. What a miserable existence to come after someone or be jealous just because they’re genuine and authentic. It all makes so much sense when I think back to the types of people I’ve encountered who did this.
with the capacity to slay and the heart to heal - the dragon dwells deep within the cave - alone
So true and on target as usual! It is always disturbing on some level how others do like to inflict their judgment or negativity, or even just indifference. I think this may come mainly a lot because sometimes we may come across as easy targets, due to our introverted thinking and nature sometimes, but I think often it comes from their frustration and recognizing just how much they've miscalculated our inner strength. I think I have gotten or been to that level of really regarding this as their problem and thinking of it has been of little consequence to me, but sometimes it is disturbing to say the least, I think mostly because we genuinely seek harmony and balance, but mostly are secure and unwavering in our beliefs.
I always wondered why people can’t just worry about themselves especially since Idgaf what they do
Insicuerity of otters and chains they tie thereself with doesnt have to be the limitatation of the INFJ. Expressing is living. And living is being truely tapt in to the INFJ connecties with the center of the Univers. In the INFJ true innerlijke peace.
Oh I had that happen all my life, that's why,WOW your a why's SOUL, there's a lot of programing that I have to change to get along in this funny World of ours.I you have any questions on how a damage INFJ Heyoka Lone Wolf ext.....(That the box that they want me in,I'm thinking)just asked.but otherwise I'm going to keep on watching videos that my (sister INFJ has to offer)to better understand our position in this community Or this World of ours.So u have a great day ahead and I will train under the master INFJ😋👍🐺✌️
Hahaha I know right. I always tell my peers that I am compliant but never a conformist. I may go with the flow or go against it depending on how I see the circumstance.
I really appreciate your videos and am understanding things about myself and why others have reacted towards me in ways that previously mystified me. Most importantly, I appreciate your simple yet effective strategies to get better reactions and positive emotions from others. :)
I recently ran out of f*¢ks to give and have been living my best life.
Yep. We are very attuned to the reaction of others. Almost obsessed. We've learned that it's best to become "The Invisible People." I was once married to a man that loved to provide "commentary" towards EVERYTHING I did. Analysis....documentation....trust me he had an amazing memory. Hell on earth for an INFJ.
That’s so true! We should realize people around us are not cheering for us most of the time and no Matter what we do it’s not gonna change that. Let’s say they are rooting for a different team. I’ve met people who said the nicest things to me and saw the best in me without me even trying and there were those who I tried to serve and please for years and they still didn’t appreciate me nor saw the real me …
Jane: ‘Omg, I can tell she got a boob job’ looks at the lady in disgust. Me: ‘Are you saying your a 10?’ rolling my eyes. My INFJ sense of humor.
My shadow work has lead me to a place that has fostered more of the mature INFJ experience I need to have. I think it's about being your own best friend. No alcohol, no cigarettes, just that epoch psychedelic journey that is us, INFJ territory.
I am a non-binary, Theistic Satanist, writer and lyrical masochist (I murder myself with words, probing deeply into my pain). No apologies anymore. What ever time I have left here on Earth is going to be spent doing what I love no matter what anyone says. 93.
Im glad to see this, I thought I felt alone in this. Unfortunately for me I believe when I put out my album Ive been working on, it wont get any traction because I will be judged based on peoples egocentric view of me, even though its genuinely good music, and no one has an actual reason to dislike me besides I'm different and genuine
you can always create an anonymous digital persona. there are enough artists whose complete persona consists of tunes, a name and a logo.
@@derda1304 Yeah. Im gonna make it half persona ish and half real i think. But it would be 100x easier to get off the ground with local support. But it is what it is.
@@KramGamesOfficial please share a link, I'd love to support you and buy your album 🎵🎶
@@KramGamesOfficial send me a link I'll support :)
@@reneerebecca4131 Ill try to remember to, when I release it! Thanks :)
Who cares what other people think... don't let anyone bully you.
Be your own shining 🌟
I'm recently feeling into a more authentic way of being where I try to express myself more without holding back so much. Some previous attempts were met with derision and denial, where I was left feeling guilty for just saying how I felt. Just in the past two days I've experienced quite a shocking example of this when I simply called someone out (a recent acquaintance who I'd felt a growing connection with) when I called him out on a few inconsistencies and where I felt an incongruence between his words and the energy I was picking up. Instead of taking any of this on board with a view to improving our communication with more clarity, something was triggered where he lashed out at me with a grossly disproportionate and nasty response, throwing everything he could think of that I'd shared with him that he saw as vulnerability. I don't regret calling him out as his vitriolic and spite ridden message really revealed his true character and depth of his potential for vindictiveness if he felt exposed. It was incredibly hurtful for obvious reasons as I trusted him with the things I shared, and I thought there was potential for a good connection between us where we might have been able to collaborate on some mutual ideas. He didn't like that I was able to see through his facade or let him know, so he chose to try and annihilate me and any trust I'd had which destroyed the connection. This has happened on many occasions before where the pattern is the same. It seems almost impossible to avoid having to wear masks and continue to put up with the hypocrisy and double standards by saying nothing. But I'd rather have no friends at all if they won't allow me to just express how I feel, instead of invalidating me and gaslighting me. It would be wonderful to meet someone who is an INFJ and enjoy building better connections that are mutually fulfilling without getting abuse. I'm so fed up at this stage of feeling the stress of having to stay quiet just as not to upset people, when I see others getting away with it with no repurcussions. It's definitely almost where there is something about their egos being bruised, when I mentioned this he actually turned everything around to imply that I was the one with an egocentric view. These dynamics have been so damaging over the years, where each repetition chips away at me bit by bit. I am finding it getting harder and harder to trust anyone where I am reluctant to open up to anyone, as I really need a win. Just one interaction where I'm accepted for what I'm saying without the usual adverse and extreme consequences. I've seen so many comments on your channel where I resonate a lot with most comments. It would be so amazing to create a space for us being able to connect and share without fear of judgement and retribution. Sometimes I get severely depressed because of this, I genuinely worry I will end up taking my life one of these days when I just can't handle another backlash.
Holy shit. I experience the same crap. I totally relate to this.
@@saifblade I'm presently hiding in a room just to get space and peace, but have been provoked, pushed and prodded to get me into an argument I refuse to engage in. It literally feels like everything is conspiring to force me into situations or interactions I know are just drama. Nearly everyone I know seems to be losing their sh#it and intent on dragging me down with them. I just want some peace and quiet and to be left alone!!
@@nedthestaffieegan3452 hey, i just want to send you a virtual hug from over here.
Don't let them pull you down.
Do you know the concept of "malignant narcissism"? For me it explained a lot of those dynamics. Those f*.. narcos are drawn to us like we were magnets. We can't give them that much power. those are broken people. we can't help them. and we shouldn't let them in our lives
@@derda1304 hug gratefully received thank you! I'm quite proud of myself for finding the courage to call him out. His nasty reply confirmed he was a covert narcissist, where his real character was revealed. I was upset, but more embarrassed that I'd been taken in by him. I wasn't hurt in the way I might have before, as he revealed his capacity for cruelty by attacking me knowing my vulnerability, so his words don't have any negative impact on me as I don't care what someone like him thinks about me. I'll just get back.on my horse and clippity clop to continue with my journey towards being myself 🫂
Please don't take your life! If you are successful, you will go to a very sad & lonely place. Many people who have survived an attempted suicide report having a very negative experience on the "other side". When they return from the experience, they are so happy to have another chance! Get a copy of "Life After Life," by Raymond A. Moody Jr., MD. It was first published in 1975, but is still being circulated.
(This book not being the only one, but the best I have found.)
Please stay in this life and find new meanings for it.
As for speaking your mind... I also find weird reactions from some people.
I have found it to be more comfortable keeping my own counsel until I feel an understanding to develop (which can often be never!).
When no opening appears, I realize that to that person I become an enigma,
but for me it can feel like a positive opportunity to explore more satisfying experiences
or relationships.
I read a lot, and with that, I find many things to engage my mind. Also, joining organizations which pair well with my personal values offer me a "new lease on life".
Please stay for yourself & for the rest of us!
I will keep you in my prayers, Ned.
INFJ (and loving it)
Lol at the small amount of things in the fridge...i thought i was the only one
This video may have just changed my life Wenzes. Thank you dear
I am so in love with your lectures. I feel so much better about myself with every new insight you give.
People just should mind their own business and leave me alone. My whole life people were coming to me asking stupid questions about my future plans or they wanted to project their stuff at me so their problems were supposed to become mine as well. I keep to myself and I don't need anything from anyone but people of all sorts come to me like I've got "confession box" written on my forehead. Heck, the other day I'm standing at this huge, busy train station and there was a crowd of hundreds of people. These two women came to me asking me for directions despite the station staff standing directly behind me. What are the odds? I was also glued to my phone and on top of that I was listening to music.
Ps. They didn't want to chat me up or anything. They just wanted to know their platform and the directions. OMG
I get that a lot too. I find it comforting that they think I'm "safe", but on the other hand maybe this is the quality that makes bullies and narcs think we're doormats to be taken advantage of? Food for thought.
We are here serving our father’s will on his earth, he guides us through our Holy Spirit
i cleverly do things my way without people knowing it
Sarcasm. "Please 🙏 take your nose 👃 out my ask." 😆. Another solid 👊😎.
I spent much of my formative years trying to conform to be like my ES (T/F)(P/J) family members (and peers). Oh, boy, what a waste of time and effort! Finally met my mom's side of the family who are much like me. What a relief! I've since accepted and loved myself better, but it's still hard since my mom's family lives so far away. For example, I'm divorced, no kids (not by choice...just the hands I've been dealt). I sing and play drums in a Christian band at church. We've been told we are pretty good! I'm so excited and proud of this. I have been a member for 3 yrs. Not one of my family members has come to watch me play, but I'm expected to support them in their endeavors. It hurts to be so different, but it's the story of my life. I've done much of my life alone. Or with other like-minded friends. I try to connect, but much of my family won't make the effort for me. I know they love me. It just hurts sometimes. Acceptance has been the key for me. I can't change them, but I can continue to march to the beat of my own drum. Literally. And love them, anyway.❤
My infj/enfp ambivert empath childhood was very fraught. I eventually kept my most of my super intuitive stuff to myself, because no-one around me could handle my perceptions. I got fed up being told I was wrong, that I was too young to hold such opinions, that I was being cheeky. It was much later when I was IQ tested (quite a few times - I think they thought I was cheating somehow) that I got some recognition. At fifteen-years-old I had the mental age of a forty five-year-old. Funny enough, at age seventy five, I still rate around forty five to fifty years mental age. What does that mean?
It means you're too focused on self. Instead, go for a walk in the woods, smell the flowers, take in the beauty of your natural surroundings and stop looking in the mirror.
That you're timeless, love. Enjoy.
Wow, to the T
You are incredible❤
Psychopaths and narcissists hate me, and I don't care. I had one in my social group trying to change the songs I played as a musician. He tried it on with the other two musicians. We were all different and he tried to make each one of us be like one of the others. We all refused to change. He started learning to play the guitar but gave up, after a few months. From then on, he was even more controlling and stopped us playing altogether. One, his closest friend in the group, was thrown. I was, too. My girlfriend at the time was angry at me for letting him throw me out; she had supported his bullying enough to bully me. Both are out of my life forever.
Getting to 240 lbs and looking like a death row prison guard stopped people from openly speaking against me. But as a child, they were so very, very cruel indeed.
Once again Wenzes shared some real knowledge and practical steps to take immediate observable action. Thank you!
When Wenzes said 'those are questions that can crush your soul (gulp)'. I fucking felt that!
I get stuck in the NI-TI 😣
Ni-Ti isn't a look for the cognitive INFJ (it is for the behavioural who is probably an ISFP or ESFP) as Ni-Ti is the primary seat of the ego; I think this is where Wenzes is conflating her behavioural affiliation with the actual Jungian cognitive type as are others who are relating to the content. Kudos for creating content that brings a whole host of empaths & HSPs together though
You've summed up my last 2 years, God it was testing, but at this point I'm like, idgaf, no reaction as you said:)
yeah i have major problems with stalking, harrassment, obsession etc.
Yes m weird. Yes I’m strange and yes people can’t seem to leave me alone. They act like I’m a crazy person but they love steeling my ideas
I don't care that they hate me beating to my own drum, I'm different from them, I don't give a rats about them
I have always wanted to write a few books but first of all I don’t know how and secondly I’m actually afraid of someone steeling my story and making money off it
This video is great
💯
I need to find the right people but struggling to find.
If you dont act with malice. Then let them sweat
INFJ'S have a tight knit group that they don't judge INFJ'S and INFJ'S can be themselves and not have them to be watered down .
Al Hamde li Allah
Great information for a guy who wonders why people get weird and I get bad vibrations.
The other hand, people think I’m wonderful
Since age 5
In a lot of ways I feel like I’m in grade school again because that’s when it started
Thanks for these videos, Wenzes
I was just talking about some of these things I think yesterday. Perfect timing. :)
I don't know how I didn't find your channel earlier, but I'm so glad I finally stumbled upon it. Thank you so much. Being validated in this way is indescribable, especially after 53 years of life without it!!
Like I said before, in my opinion
INFJ are not rebels, but being their own person we invest in our own personal life .The Non- INFJ have no right to dictate how we live our life’s why should they prison our mindset
Wow, this has been the story of my life! I do so many things that are against the norm because I'm very logical and alternate solutions work better for me. I have a blog for my architectural and landscape history photos, which I explore, take the photos of, research the history and write articles about (and I never brag about it either but just love doing it for its own sake) but I can't even mention it to some family members because they hate hearing about it. I have been so bullied by family and others and I'm exactly as you mentioned - friendly and polite - and yet I get so much hatred from some people. It used to really upset me but I've learnt just to keep away from them and carry on with the things that make me happy. Fantastic video; I get so much from them. Thank you. :)
The story of my life! 5-years old, my first social interactions out of the family - why this people look at me that way, why they're afraid of me?! 😀 Now a days I don't care and consider myself for a happy person. But it took me over 20 years...
3:06 .... Yeah , irdc about that. I just feed in to it and continue to do certain stuff they think is weird soooo they have plenty to talk about when they have time to gossip..... A few weird things a day keeps a lot of ppl away 🤣
Thank you 🙏
I didn't really have this fear as a kid, because I was raised without siblings and moved a lot, so I just felt like if people didn't like me, big deal, I'd just move and never see them again. So I was always weird with very few friends, but didn't let it stop me. And in my head, in my fantasies, I imagined that it didn't matter what anyone else thought because one day I'd meet my soulmate, and he would understand me. So I could withstand anything. Then I met my husband, and reality crashed into me. Every argument or disagreement hit hard. And I lost myself for years. I would have times I was strong, but something would challenge it and eventually I would crumble again. I'm just now starting to really rediscover my strength I had when I was little.
Wild things!
You nailed it.
This is great.
wonderful! thank you
The way you frame the message here is really inspiring, ty 💌
Thanks for sharing this advice, Wenzes!
The first 2 min relates so much 💔
❤❤❤ needed to hear this. Something I've been dealing with. Thanks Wenzes. :)
Salam. Thanks for this. 💐
As always, thank you so much with the encouragement Miss Wenzes ❤️ you are indeed right, it is high time to face our fears ❤️
Someone doesn't want me to bang my own drum, I bang it louder.
This is exactly what I wish I'd known and understood as a kid!! Thank you for sharing your wisdom! 😊 I've come to the point in my life where I have no more f@#$% to give. It's so much easier when you just don't care what people are judging/saying about you. It's so true that what they see is a reflection of themselves that they're not comfortable with, and that's why they feel the need to squash you/it down. It's a them problem. Just keep doing you!! Other authentic people will be attracted to you.
Great 👍Great Alsome information 😘
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Very much so. It gets interpreted as me being stubborn.
Yes, I have to deal with this one.
Wenzes, I thank and appreciate you and your videos. I've just come across them 2 weeks ago and have been studying the INFJ personality almost 3 years now. Between the 2 thanks for helping me gain understanding. I've always been the "weird one" and embraced it since my Mom was the "black sheep" of the family too. Most have accepted me after spending most of my life of having scared sheeple thinking their attempts of bullying would stop me. I have/had so many obstacles against me Black, a woman, I was overweight (the Original Lizzo), into Hard Rock, Rave, Grunge lifestyle along with listening to what was considered acceptable (hip hop/r&b) around me. I dressed,thought, and looked way different than my neighbors to this day which is NOW acceptable,then off putting. Ppl SAY be yourself until you arrive AND open your mouth. Don't get me wrong I LOVE being a Harlemite and the history that comes with it but hasn't been easy. You're not allowed to be different here unless you're famous (like my birthday buddy, Pharrell). NEVER shrink yourself to make others comfortable. Life is to be LIVED and as an INFJ, YOUR way! Continue to remind ppl why THEIR lives are so small. 😊🎸💖
Oh man the bullying. I forgot about that. As a kid I fist fighted all my bullies because I wanted to send a message to leave me the heck alone. I literally had to fight them all and beat them at their own game. Not proud because this was done out of fear.
I feel like we challenge social constructs and moral dynamics and then come to conclusions that are the opposite of what most consider “common sense.” Those assumptions that people make about interpersonal dynamics are, to ME, the very meaning of existence itself. So I have to question them to exist to myself, because I’m aware. But other people feel the opposite- to challenge those beliefs invalidates the only existence they feel is real. I’m choosing to be on my own side.
There have been times in my life when people I thought were my friends or co-workers that I thought had at least good intentions towards me would get mad when I would tell them about something that I worked out in my life that I felt good about and they literally get mad. Like I had done something hateful to them. That would just blow my mind because I would never feel or do anything like that to them. And that just caused me to keep all my feelings to myself. And I still have problems opening up to people about what my true intentions are the true feelings are. That just causes people to get the wrong impressions of who and what I am.
😆 I rebelled against everything growing up. Especially my mother. She never got me and it was frustrating as a young boy (dad out the pic) trying to be me but my mom telling me to be what i cannot be. Got my ass beat alot for my smartass mouth! Hated school, hated being there, when i was. I was always the one calling out all the lies of anyone in authority that couldn't give reasons why. Truth seeker here and always stood up for those getting bulied. I never cared what people thought of what i was doing or how i was acting. I just did me. Your videos are helping me understand myself so much better. I often laugh how spot on things are.
Thank you my dear Devine love and light 🚦 Rastafarie lives im growing my friend i am going through the pain now i am not happy for this pIn but i am glad its happening 😊 i can feel the happiness coming in my career will triumph greatly 😊😊😊
Dang how you come up with all these videos!
Ikr they want me to fit into their box and it’s annoying
Wow i need to learn not to be hurt by it and to just be me. I am trying to ignore them.
People still bully me 😂😂😂
Even as an adult people don't like it when I do what I want. I guess they got used to the low key and unexpressive me😄😄
You eventually stop caring about what other think and you do things you know is against the social norms even though you know its not going to hurt anyone but there is a social line that no one wants to cross but the infj crosses it and smiles like you guys know it's OK to not always stay behind the invisible line that has been placed. Like eating before the boss brings in food, I saw nothing wrong with eating left overs in the frig and eating what the boss brought too but I could tell I had crossed the invisible line. I wanted a little of both worlds and it made the coworkers uncomfortable that I didn't wait on the meal the boss was bringing. I stepped over the silly invisible lines all the time because to me their somebody's rules that don't apply to me. It's laying a line out and punishing others for crossing it even though they pretend the line does not exist. I love crossing the silly invisible lines which gets me in trouble sometimes. Some people think walking over a person's grave is showing disrespect and think they have a right to punish someone for not thinking it's disrespectful. These lines are placed everywhere without a good cause but based on a feeling and personal beliefs. If you can not prove to me the importance of that invisible lines then I'm probably going to cross it because it's your personal invisible line not mine. There are many lines I do not cross just to save myself the misery and punishment but I think the beating to your own drum means you don't let invisible lines keep you from crossing over and those refusing to cross the line feel that you are in the wrong for not respecting the community guide lines that do not apply to your personal beliefs. So you wind up alone on the other side but you have to do it because you do not base your life on others beliefs.
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