Before You Share Your Opinion - WATCH THIS | How To Be Well Liked
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- čas přidán 20. 08. 2024
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Some people don’t know how to listen respectfully.
Something we need to watch for is people who bait us into reacting a certain way in conversation. It took me years to realize this was going on (and still goes on) with certain family members.
It's toxic right
this is so true, but we know better now
I have a couple of people in my life that like to tell me I need a dog. Apparently, I’m a bit cold, because I don’t have a pet.
I love animals, but I think it’s gross keeping a dog in an apartment with poor ventilation. I don’t want to walk a dog every day. I don’t want to pick up poop every day and I don’t want to rush home from an event to feed an animal. It would be borderline animal cruelty for me to own one.
I have to smile and say “maybe when I get a large house oneday”, because I could offend their lifestyle if I told them the truth.
I so agree with you! Years ago I lived in New York City and was shocked to see professional dog walkers with a herd of dogs on leashes walking down 5th Avenue. Maybe it’s not so bad for small dogs, but I felt bad for the large dogs that were apparently living in NYC apartments. I believe dogs deserve to have yards and natural outdoor space beyond concrete sidewalks.
A quick answer I would give to a person trying to talk me into having a pet: The huge vet bills aren’t in my budget. 😊
I totally respect what you are saying, I have 2 dogs and it is expensive, time consuming, and makes it hard to go on vacation. Keep doing you, no appologies!!
I get the same from others about having children. Apparently, I would be a much better person if I had 2.4 children. I am not sure how they arrive at their conclusion, and I am not bothering to ask them!
@@jeny1312 Hi Jen, did you also notice the "doggy day care centres" "doggy gyms" and "dog spa's". I guess it's nice they have a place to go during the day while the family are at work/school. I like in a big metropolis like New York.
@@loriehaisen9555 Hi Lorie, I've heard about a lot of people needing to put a pet down due to how much a surgery can cost. Pets become part of the family, so that it tragic.
How do you want people to remember you? Not just friends and family, but every single other person you encounter in your DAILY life? A lifetime of excellent advice condensed into 15:50 minutes. WOW Tracy. The penny has dropped for me. Thank you.
You really articulated why I HATE it when people say “that is terrible/stupid/bad” so objectively. It’s very disheartening when someone doesn’t take into account your opinion may be different.
So good! A lady whom I hadn’t seen in YEARS sent me an email to collaborate with her on a book 📖. She said she remembered how much joy she felt I exuded each time we interacted and thought I would be a great contributor to this project she had on her heart. I was grateful that that was how I was remembered even though I barely remembered our interactions. Enjoyed the vid. Thanks Tracy 👍🏿💐
Beautiful. What a nice compliment to receive. Clearly you left a warm impression. Thank you for sharing!
You have a nice vibe about you.
@@MsActor2009 Thank you 😊. Very nice of you to say 🌷
I’ve always enjoyed reading your posts.
My whole family is like this 🙄 It gets on my nerves.
I’m learning not to be affected by their unsolicited, highly critical opinions.
I’m also re-wiring myself from this kind of behavior
I now ask myself instead of how I want to be remembered - how do I want to make them feel when I interact with them. What kind of an impact I want to have on others? Like you said - leave them better than you found them.
I often find people greet with a "Hi, how are you?" but dont wait to hear my reply!
I have been guilty of this, giving my opinion and it has hurt feelings in my family. I have learned through the years.
Wow this is so great. You really hit the nail on the head on why families sometimes have contentious relationships. Love this💗
Love to listen in to Tracey Hensel Life Coach, clarity, glamouras, experienced, interesting. Thank you.
Whoah this is beautiful advice, Tracy you are so poised and smart its beautiful to see.
I am cautious about sharing any happy news with a certain relative because she will always find a reason to frown and be negative. When she opens her front door she is often frowning. Took me years to figure out how to protect myself and set boundaries!
Also... I’m always careful about starting a sentence with “you should.” I know I tend to wince when people speak that way to me.
Thank you, Tracy. Many good points about relating to others more thoughtfully.
Loving all of these "emotional intelligence " videos! You can tell Tracy's mama raised her right😊
Thank you Tracey.; very helpful in my daily life.
Such great advice! I'm learning to do this with my adult children. (one adult & one almost adult) It's hard to know sometimes when to listen and encourage and when to offer advice or guidance. I never want them to shut down or feel like they can't share their struggles because of too much "advice."
Hi Anna! Thank you. Yes, you are absolutely correct that there is that fine line. If you over-advise you do risk your kids withholding information from you, because they don't feel safe to just 'share'.
Amazing content as always. Will definitely keep it in my backpocket.
I needed to hear this. I am a chronic opinion sharer, of course it comes from a good place, but I didn't realize what this could mean to other people.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, for making these helpful videos. I have already been reining it in by not sharing political views any more on social media, and not giving my opinion unless asked, and trying to listen better without looking at a phone or computer....these are great reminders, stuff I never learned growing up. This should be taught in school. Good stuff. Thank you Tracy!
Tracy! You couldn’t say it more perfectly. When this happens to me - And they offer unsolicited advice or r their opinion I always remind myself it’s coming off of their own Insecurities .
Thank you Tracy ❤️
God bless you! What a great video. I need to improve as a listener and my ways of giving advise. I’m definitely sharing this video with my loved ones. Thanks❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I am so in love with this look
You're Doing A Good Job Tracy And Smart Too
You have given some of the best advice I have ever heard. I always enjoy all of your content.
Thanks dear Tracy for sharing with us these interesting and necessary instructions about elegance and good manners.
This was very helpful. You really are a good communicator.
This is one of the most helpful videos I’ve ever seen! I am a mom of three and have found myself piping up with advice for my friends who are just having their first child. I def need to use the “wait” technique. Love this!
You can be likeable but not a doormat.
Love this! Good to watch again. 👍❤️
Your advice is excellent Tracy and I like your presentation. I love that, " How do you want to be remembered?"
Thank you for this video. This is a helpful one. I personally have lots of questions regarding boundaries too.
This is so important. I am still working on this. I have some people in my life who need to learn this. Sometimes I feel so beat down by people who are not practicing this.
I know how that feels. I discovered for myself that I feel this way when I allow unkind behavior to affect me negatively. It all comes from inside - always. Once I master my own perception and the ability to observe and extend compassion instead of getting triggered, I know that the emotional issue that's been laying underneath it is resolved. triggers = gateways to receive our medicine
After a few social faux pas in some interactions which, after this video, are absolutely not how I would like to be remembered, I just started a new approach to Tracy's advice: post its on my second monitor, so I can look at them and remember during meetings. Thank you, Tracy, for creating such helpful content!
You go Connie!
i grew up with parents that did this and have adopted this behavior as well, which i'm seeking to correct now. thank you for sharing! ❤️
Your advice is so vital! I am going to apply these to my life today, from both perspectives. W.a.i.t, that is superb, I know the concept but having it explained allows me to apply it more effectively.
WAIT..What An Intelligent Teacher! 😄...Thanks again Tracy for reminding me to tap into
my awareness ...😇
Such a great video Tracy! I’ve been watching your videos over the past year and I have enjoyed all of them. You always deliver timely effective life pointers with fun and humor. Thank you!
Thank you so much for this amazing video! Very kind of you to teach the other side.
What I got from this is to be kind, thoughtful, remember not to assume and ask respectfully before giving opinions.
Hi Tracy,
I want to thank you for sharing these videos ♥️
U are like my mother or a bigger sister, you give me the best advice, and the elegance way of living ♥️🙏🏻
Thanks my sweet heart
Another great video. You are like a good friend to help remind ,teach & reassure I am being my best ! I just had a problem Sunday /w Daughter-in-law: my son has a 11 yr old from previous relationship & they have 4 yr old both beautiful girls🤗well she thinks ( and mentions) how no child of hers will talk like that, not say please thanks etc. I am all for good manners and understand important of discipline. But the words hurt the 11 yr old & makes her feel that she was not raised right Aw Grammy has a heavy ❤️ so today I thought I would say I don't want to undermine her parenting ,but her words are hurting & 11 yr old understands her intent. I usually Qtip the comments, And talk about it w/ Granddaughter we are close but I think I should say something. Thanks for your time😊
Great advice Tracy! I just adore you!
You really got me with the UPS man, he doesn't stay long enough for me to even say thank you after I am yelling out the door but I guess he'll appreciate it anyway.😆
Great video! Very helpful content! Thank you!
Thank Tracy, for these are great suggestions. Some I already practice and others I need to stop doing.
Life changing! am learning immensely from your videos.
Tracy, so ON POINT! I would love more videos around this topic, just so on point! I recognized myself in certain examples you gave... tough wake up call!
Thanks for this reminder. I am mildly (So majorly) the one who gives unsolicited advice. Am working on it though because I truly can't stand when others do it...😔
Love, love , love this topic
Well said. 👍👍👍👍👍 Bookmark this ladies and gentlemen.
Such a class Tracy!! U have taught me a lot.God bless and keep sharing your brilliance.
Great info! Ugh I think I used to do a few of these things when I was younger, offer unsolicited advice, not listen but tell. I’m so much better now. I also agree that I am out off by people that behave this way with me. For some reason I have a really hard time with men giving me advice. Not sure why that is.
Absolutely correct we need to get grounded first
Wow
Thank you so much Tracy I learned a lot. You nailed it.
HI Tracy, I love this video. My family is so opinionated and when it is not communicated people get upset
Thank you Tracy 🌺
love your advice Tracey
Thanks. This was very beneficial. 🎉
This is great. The man I date always chimes in with his opinion. Not sure how to handle it. This video is helpful
This is good and caring way to be. I've always had trouble with people dominating a conversation and doing a monologue. What is polite in this situation?
I needed this thank you.
Excellent!! Zip it is the advice!!!❣
I know I have zero communication skills. 😭 it’s painful so Tracy I am think I had better do as you say. All ears here.
Don’t feel badly... I’m sure you mean well. We are all works in progress and learning as we go. Hugs!
I felt the same way when I first came across Tracy’s channel and have found her content to be invaluable! Practicing mindfulness has done wonders for my communication skills. I wait for a moment before I speak to ask myself if what I want to say contributes to the conversation.
Great content as always! Greetings from Vienna 🥰
Happy Tracy Day
Love it!! I always have Tracy in my back pocket!! 😂❤️🥰
Love it and love you, beautiful!
Tracy, can you please make a video about emotional intellegence, what it is and how to develop it? Thank you so much. With love from Belgium
What you said is very very true!🙏💞
I love your videos , and how clear the topics you make
Thank you!
Excellent video!
This video is so wonderful. I have been guilty of some of this bad behavior 😳
Tracy, unfortunate I"m one of those people:( specially when someone is sick..I immediately go into DR. mode and I recomend something to do. I'll keep in mind your suggestions:)
I think a lot of it is that we truly want to help and make them feel better. I hate to see people hurting.
Tracy, I can’t thank you enough for your valuable advices ! You are the best! Have you though of writing a book?
I will love reading it too for another reason the sound of her voice will be in my head reading it to me.
Great advise! 👍
Good morning Tracey i love this weeks video topic especially the wait talking. I grew up in different times than my mom. In her time she couldn't speak her mouth 🙄but with us children we had to speak or you get walked over. But now older and wiser i feel how do YOU slow down and dont jump your opinion on others. Thankyou again for this topic it touched heart. ❤
Hi Tracey when I meet people I keep it simple lol unless known them for many yrs
Thank you very much for this great advice! 🙏
great simple direct & clear advice.....
Such a great advice!!! Thank you 🌸
Genius Tips!!!
Great video Tracy!
So valuable!
Needed this great! 😊 please write ✍️ a few books 📚? I’ve read Simons Sineks “Start with why” book, the 7 husbands book! Haha and I’m on Dave Ramsey’s! Thanks Tracy ❣️❤️💌
I feel people always feel it’s not them, but the other person! People call others narcissistic. No one looks inward- when listening I always hear only one side-and know there’s another side!
People tend to give their opinions to people - in need, has lots of drama going on, are super emotional, seem lost in life or stressed... sometimes they ask and don’t like the other persons opinion. People with the opinions usually seem to be the stronger person IMO! Lots of weak people turn it against the stronger person though! And they throw them under the bus or call narcissistic way too much! I think people get hurt too easily with everyday chatter- if someone gave their Hawaiian vacation opinion- most would know it’s just their own opinion and vacation experience! I would like hearing it! That’s just chitter chatter to me!
Yes, it's very common to blame and point the fingers at others - Perfect example of why I publish this content; to help others become more aware of how they are showing up in their interpersonal skills, or lack there of. As for giving an opinion because someone is need or has drama, etc. - be careful with that, as you are basing an assumption and doing so often can and will backfire. Most people want acknowledgment and validation, not opinions. Your likability goes down significantly when you assume someone NEEDS you help and you project your thoughts and opinion onto them.
As for narcissism, totally different topic - Not related to what is being shared in this video. If someone sees narcissism in this light, they clearly are not educated on what narcissism is. Narcissism is not a matter of someone giving their unsolicited advice or opinion; much different There are different characteristics of narcissisms and it should not be thrown around lightly. Co-dependency is generally a common denominator with narcissism. I hope this clears up the misconception and confusion.
@@TracyHensel yes I have had backfire! I am a listener, opinion giver, helper, and I find it can bite me in the butt sometimes! I do base off my own morals and standards a lot! So, what do you do in a friendship when someone comes crying about a problematic relationship - or life drama.. I just find it hard not to be a fixer! I’ll have to change my ways... I actually had one girlfriend tell me I found joy from her problems after she came to me crying about so, so much and I was her shoulder to cry on. I guess my help made her eventually feel like I was judgmental with my opinions and she was embarrassed for oversharing with me... ending the friendship! I really love the close deep friendships but have found maybe surface type friends keeping everything light, unemotionally involved, with no opinions better!
How do you deal with a family member who is guilty of everything you described, and does so aggressively? It’s gotten to the point where I can’t stand to be around her anymore, which is sad. No one in the family goes out of their way to see or communicate with her.
What is 'Deal'? You want her to conform? If you can't stand being around her, why are you? Blaming her for you actions (choosing to be around her) and playing the victim will keep you being the victim. If you need help in raising your EQ, I'd love to help.
No she wants everyone else to conform to her. I don’t bring up opinions or advice. She gets mad at everyone for not agreeing. She is my sister-in-law. She’s alone in life. I’m secure in my identity. Don’t consider myself a victim at all, but it’s hard to abandon a family member,
Hi Tracy, You're videos really speak to me and I so appreciate that you share your knowledge in this format and on Instagram. Would it be possible for you to save your Instagram post from today to a highlight? There was so much there and I have viewed it a few times. Thank you very much!
Hi Shirley! Thank you, I appreciate it. Yes, I will save the story to my Life Lessons Highlight.
Hi Tracey I only give opinions now if someone asks me and I say do you want the truth if they say yes I'll tell them in a nice way an. Answer
Your a very classy lady Thank you
What about when someone ask you your opinion of something & your experience is negative. I like to be honest with people & I do not want to hinder their opinion but at the same time they asked me what my personal experience was with this particular situation.
Great question Jerilynn! If someone asks your opinion, they are open to hearing the positive or the negative. In being responsible, it's important that you are honest. It never hurts to add in that their outcome may be different.
How do you deal with people that when in a group eating out and we all have to split the bill equally and they order the most expensive dish on the menu? That happened to me a while back and I could not keep my mouth closed. I said, I will pay for my portion as I see some items were more than mine. OMG, I got a backlash for it. They made me feel like the bad guy. I still only paid for mine.
Also, how do you deal with family members asking for money? They don’t even know if you’re financially able at that time, so when you say, I’m not able to participate at this time as I’ve had a lot expenses lately…they get mad and you’re the black sheep.😤
Please check out today's Instagram Story for my response.
why
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. . very helpful video . . as usual . . : >
🥰
In regards of how someone remembers you, I’ve been told I make too much eye contact while listening and that it unsettles people. It’s not even something I realized I was doing! Do you have any advice on eye contact? Thanks!
Unless you've been told by several people, I would let it go. If it was simply one person that said this, it says more about them than you. I am not sure how one can make to much eye contact.
@@TracyHensel Thank you!
@@Barbeara051797 could be that they are autistic. We find eye contact really uncomfortable. Don’t take it personally xxx
Y do you need to be liked?
Julianna, you don't necessarily need to be liked. Certainly not by everyone. If the person doesn't matter to you, place no value on being liked. If the person is of value, being liked may be important, as more opportunities will be presented. The most important thing is you like yourself. That you are who you desire to be. Great question.
💯💯💯💯💯💯
Do u fo marriage counseling?
Hi, yes I do coaching with couples.
ESTj types say it lol😂