r/Bestof My Girlfriend Was Kidnapped into an Arranged Marriage!
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- čas přidán 24. 07. 2024
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0:00 Intro
0:09 My girlfriend is kidnapped and forced to marry someone
5:13 My best friend thinks I have a crush on her husband
12:38 My well off fiancé gave me a cheap ring and it gets crazy
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
If I had a nickel every time rslash talked about someone getting kidnapped into an arranged marriage on best of redditor updates I would have two nickels which isn’t a lot but it’s weird happened twice.
I do wish these victims of the best though
A lot more stories of such come out of places like India because more and more from that country are willing to talk about such.
you win a sub for the reference
Oh I know what you’re talking about!
This reference made my day thank you!!! LOL
My heart broke for the second OP, imagine finding out your best "friends" are terrible, toxic people and then having your fiancé blame you for being manipulated by those terrible, toxic people. What a useless jerk, I'm glad she was able to throw the whole man away, but I hope more that OP ends up somewhere with people around her that actually care about her.
I kinda see the fiancé’s point, but what an awful thing to blame your fiancé for. OP has been brainwashed for so long and when they finally see the light and get out of the toxic relationship, they blame OP for lacking judgement? Of course they lacked judgement! Once you see someone for so long through rose-tinted glasses, all red flags look like normal flags.
I was like hahaha sucks to suck doormat
Finally some else talks about this!! I see no other commenters talking about the Fiancé and what he said.
Agreed, Jack is pathetic, too sensitive, and overdramatic
@@otakueve117 yes, he is another toxic one, not even helping just throwing the whole relationship instead of helping your partner
Second Story: Sarah is absolutely a control freak. Props to OP for ending that one-sided relationship of theirs.
Edit: I've never gotten a thousand likes before. Thanks, I mean it.
I just thought of something. What if this was a deliberate plan by her to ensure OP would always be under Sarah's thumb, a way to ensure she always had her 'helper'. Wild shot but still a scary thought someone could be so malicious and conniving.
On the flip side she did dodge a bullet
@@Di3Leberwurst she dodged two bullet (The fiance too).
@@shaereub4450 I meant the fiance. Didn't even think of the "friend"
Omg Sarah and Matt are the most malicious and evil couple!!! 😡😡😡😡
Story 3: If he didn't want to date OP anymore, he should've just said that in the first place. Man, why are people so hesitant to say something as simple as that? Like, don't go through some complicated process like it's a mystery game. It'll save you the energy in the long run
Because he was a selfish narcissistic idiot, he said he " earned " and " young model " and knew somewhere in his pinhole brain that maybe people wouldn't like him if he dumped his fiancee because he wanted to screw a younger woman
So he clearly thought " she's a gold digger so I can blame the breakup on her "
But .she wasn't, he was just a pathetic diluted loser
Because it would "hurt his optics" as in his reputation which this will do anyway when people learn the truth of the situation. Such egotistical people grind my gears. Yeah OP said he was influenced by someone but how good can the ex be if they allowed themselves to be influenced by such a toxic mindset?
That's easy. He's a shallow jackass who was afraid of what his family would say. He wanted to be able to blame OP because he doesn't want to look like a jerk for cheating on her and dumping her after she's been a great partner to him. If his family loves her, they probably won't be to happy with his side chick getting a promotion.
Best part is she could have just be asking which story he got it at so she could have it readjusted. Which would make him more of an ass then he is.
Because he wants to have his cake and eat it too... Being the victim in the breakup to preserve his reputation when he's an a-hole who cheated
I like that Jack decided to postpone the wedding because OP was such a doormat, then got upset when she started working on not being a doormat. I guess he wanted her to be a doormat only for him. OP dropped a load of toxic trash in Sarah and Matt AND dodged a bullet in Jack.
Exactly lol, instead of trying to help his partner work on recognizing toxicity and manipulation he gets mad at her? She dodged a machine gun of bullets.
@@Galeboy yup including getting mad at her for skipping out on spending time with him to take care of a sick child. Like he's clearly toxic too so she dodged a bullet. He believes a drunk guy at face value and doesn't even hear out his fiancee? Yeah dude was absolutely crap
Holy crap that first story... Imagine being basically kidnapped and held hostage by your own family and then forced to marry a man old enough to be your grandfather!
*side eyes the middle east and oarts of asia*
except we heard it and didnt imagine it
india is a beautiful country with wonderful people the great culture you dog
Sadly its far to common even by today standards.
All cultures are not equal.
As an Indian myself, I’m disgusted by the state of arranged marriages in India. So happy for the girl she got out of that toxic family and found a man who loves and cherishes her like that
i am so scared for them because no way some powerful bastards are gonna take that L
@@bluenebula7839 Luckily for OP and M, the reaction is far more likely to be her family pretending she doesn’t exist to avoid that embarrassment, and not the kind of retaliation that could bring them more shame. It’s India-parents disowning children that won’t worship them is par for the course. You need to travel one country over to be worried about an honor-killing.
I live in Italy and we had 2 cases in which there’s not a happy ending. The family were Muslim (that doesn’t help their image at all,specially in Italy that Catholicism is the shit), basically the girls were too western and started dating (in one of the cases it was to an Italian boy). They killed them, their own father and mother killed them because they chose the style of live of the country THEIR PARENTS decided to raise them
@@TheLeidy93 thats actually normal under that belief system. Read the Quran and you'll understand, but simply put they are items, for an example Mohammed their prophet seriously told his followers "it takes two women's testimony to equal one man's for they are (cant say what he said youtube rules)"
But to him they are mere items for trade nothing more probably less and he is the "example of the perfect man that all must aspire to be". Dont take my word for it take Mohammeds, infact I literally can't even tell you many verses of the Quran because they are so profane youtube blocks it. Seriously I've tried and it gets removed and I even asked a staff member why heck I even sent them the exact verse that I copied word for word from a verified Islamic study site! They told me they have no answer, on one hand it's a religious verse I did not alter but on the other it's profane and hateful. So their response?
"I guess you just have to censure it?" Hahahahaha yeah....
Reminds me of the movie Dhadak.
I dated an Indian girl for 3 years in Uni circa 06-08. Obviously, being a lesbian was not acceptable with her family. Her brother literally kidnapped her from classes her senior year & I didn’t hear from her for 7 years. I was so distraught, both with losing her & worrying about her. I received an email at my college email in mid 2015 from her. She explained everything & told me she escaped within a couple of months & moved to Canada. She was able to receive a protection order & had been in hiding ever since. I’m glad she’s ok & happy married to a wonderful woman but it still kills me. It took me almost 10 years to date anyone else & can’t imagine how bad things were for her. She lost everyone but a cousin who helped get her out of the situation. Her whole family moved back to India to escape charges
They should’ve stayed, because they deserved it.
I'm glad things worked out for you. I can't imagine the agony you must have gone through. Blessings to both of you.
God, that second story. Bless OP's heart. Everyone in her inner circle are just terrible. Friends and fiance. I hope she can grow and flourish elsewhere.
meh, i'd give the fiance a 50/50 on the a-hole meter. the whole "second choice" rhetoric is totally a jerk move on him, showing a bunch of insecurity there
but i can kinda understand the "i don't want to be with someone who surrounds themselves with toxic people" logic
heck, even if we concede he's a 100% a-hole, he still did OP a favour by removing himself from her life
@@zilesis1 I understand what you mean by "I don't wanna be around someone who has toxic friends" but until this incident op didn't know she had toxic friends
@@zilesis1 Most people don’t know their in a toxic relationship or have toxic friend(s) until they had enough or it finally gets brought to their attention
I'm not sure I entirely blame Jack, but caring about being someone's first is really immature. But his points were strong, he's giving half of his life to someone who doesn't care enough about themselves to stand up for themselves. You can only do so much as a partner to lift a loved one and save them from everyone else in their life, the first step is them realizing they have to do something about it. As a therapist once said about how relationships manage mental health, "take care of yourself for me and I'll take care of myself for you."
If you go forward in a relationship knowing that your partner can't handle their own affairs, you have to own what that means in the end, toxic people hurting and abusing them constantly. You don't get to force someone to change, you only can control how much of that affects you.
In the end, Jack is the reason OP saw the light and came to respect themselves more. That's a favor to OP to be open honest and direct about what they want in a partner, and does reduce the AH score.
@@RWAsur I have one point that you miss and because that he is entirely to blame to. He doubted her from the beginning. He took everything Sara and mark told as the truth. So yeah, her friends where/ are toxic but if your fiancee/ future husband believes her not one bit then he is to blame and a shit person
threw away a woman with a heart of gold for a gold digger...the irony
And he tried to make the good woman the gold digger
@@low-keydrama1260 your profile pic makes your comment hilarious 😭
OHHH how delightfully ironic
Last Story: The husband didn't actually think she was a gold digger, he was just trying to create a situation which he could use to claim that she was. That way, from an outside perspective, he had a valid reason to have cut things off.
It's not that he thought she was just money hungry, he just was trying to paint her in that light so he could cover his ass
I honestly hope OP got her story out first. Just to prevent this moron from getting away with it Scott free
Greed, pride, entitlement. This douchebag has all three of those in ample supply.
When Jack says things like "Either possibility leads to the same conclusion", lemme break it down. TLDR; He was iffy about their relationship, so at the first possible sign of potential distress or drama, he took the opportunity to immediately dip out of the relationship. Dude wasn't into you and was essentially looking for an excuse to leave
Exactly. When he rushed off because of some nonsense from the friends I thought WTAF? Obviously he was just looking for any excuse to bail. I wouldn't be surprised if he's done this before.
@@fdm2155 Or if he’s already cheating, or has another girl already lined up
This is definitely not the first incident. Even OP mentions that she had neglected her own relationship to go help the toxic couple. Nothing 'possible' or 'potential', it's already here. This was the straw that broke the camel's back.
@@natkatmac Skipping out on naughty time because you’re helping a sick kid, is never an excuse to be “annoyed”, even if the mother is toxic. OP is blaming herself which is typical of victims who are in relationships like this. Manipulative men like Jack will make OP think it’s her fault so he can feel clear of any guilt, all the while he’s probably cheating on her, it’s fairly typical behaviour of a guy in Jacks position
Also, if Jack knew that Matt and Sarah were such bad friends, why didn't he say anything before?
First Story: OP’s girlfriend’s family is absolutely insane and honestly, overly strict parents are the absolute worse. I’m so glad OP was willing to help his now wife. I’m so glad OP and his wife were able to get away with those psychopaths
Second Story: Matt is just very insecure and very narcissistic. What Matt and Sarah did was beyond messed up and to make up lies like this. OP deserves way better than these two horrible people. Lmao, Sarah was really convinced that OP truly did have a crush on Matt. Jack was offended by being given back the gifts after the breakup is insane. Sarah is a toxic person. Jack honestly is very pathetic and too sensitive. OP deserves better than this guy
Third Story, NTA: Wow holy shit that update. OP dodged a big bullet not marrying this guy. At least he showed his red flags. Imagine coming up with this horrible plan to break up with someone for someone he is having an affair with. Imagine assuming someone was a golddigger randomly
Welcome to life in India, and other such countries, where arranged marriages are the way. They are slowly dying off, but do still happen.
@@Ryanthusar hopefully that becomes extinct
@@xKCAZxLEADER It's going to be a very long time. Arranged marriages are still a very big thing throughout South and East Asia.
@@Ryanthusar Isn't it illegal though?
Honestly op’s fiancé in the second story deserves nothing and no one in his life because he is so sensitive and pathetic
For the best friends story (Matt and Sara) the OP is looking at things from the wrong perspective. OP didn't LOSE her friends and Fiancé, she GAINED valuable insight into how people she considered to be close and invaluable to her treated her and really viewed her and can use those (admittedly terrible) experiences going forward to know how users and abusers act and dodge them accordingly.
Story 3: I think you missed the point of the cheap ring Rslash. It wasn't because he thought she was a gold digger. He just didn't want to be with her anymore, so he brought a crappy ring and waited for her to say something about it to make it seem like she was.
Still in the end, a crappy partner
*First OP:* So Mary’s parents would rather she marry a 65-year-old stranger than to have a relationship with a man with whom she shares a mutual attraction (and is around her age). I’m glad she managed to escape and go NC with her “family.” Best of luck to Mary and OP!
*Second OP:* As twisted as Sarah is for ruining OP’s friendship with Matt and engagement with Jack, I think she might’ve helped OP dodge a bullet. If she felt like she had to do things on Jack’s time to appease him, then she’s probably better off without him.
*Third OP:* So OP’s ex-fiancé spent $150 to … dump OP? Okay, then…
It sounds like the family had promised her to the dude or someone else prior, since thye have a lot of relationships with powerful people, it sounds like the family has used prearranged marriages to gain power and wealth. Not too uncommon with aristocracy. The family might own a lot of businesses and when they found out she was hanging out with a guy, it threatened their business, wealth, and power. Its absolutely disgusting.
Marriages in India is seen more as a business transaction. You come in a family and you get access to other connections, money etc. And the women in a family is seen as an asset to exchange and the only thing useful is popping out children and take care of the house, which yes is awful but that's sadly how plenty of families think. And there is a fear that the more western thought of marriage, aka wait for the right one to come and marry them for love or never marry at all and not even have children, might get to their child so it's better to marry them off quickly so that the thought doesn't enter their mind.
Yeah... Her " family " are absolute crazy nuts! It's not the middle ages anymore, people marry who they want on their own. I get some places still do arrange marriages, but still... It's time to throw those old, unwanted, and frankly disgusting traditions done the toilet, and never come back. I wish OP and Mary the happiest life, especially Mary, who didn't deserve to that treatment. And I hope those " family " and that 65-year old big baby get what's coming to them!
So weird that the fiancee wanted to prove OP was gold digger so he could have a younger woman... who will probably turn out to be a gold digger!
In the US, that "family" in the first story would all be registered sex offenders and probably not have survived the first day in prison.
The third story really hit home. When me and my ex weren't doing well, but we were trying to make the relationship work, her behavior became really strange. She would start fights about really random things and she'd go for hours and hours but these weren't normal arguments you have with a spouse. She would stab deep and twist the blade, this is something she never ever did and I was so confused. After two weeks, I told her I couldn't do this anymore and I was breaking up with her. Now, she and I agreed that we'd keep all our relationship drama off social media, a rule she quickly threw out that exact night when she blasted our mutual friends about how SHE was dumping ME because I was the one who was arguing with HER about random things for hours and hours. Still not sure why, but all our mutuals immediately flipped and sided with her, calling me abusive and manipulative. I even asked them if they wanted to hear my side of the story and they just straight up said "No". I just blocked everyone and moved on as fast as possible and funny enough, me moving on from her is what ticked her off the most. She then started blasting my family saying I was abusive and manipulative. When my family wouldn't get onboard with her story as quickly as our mutuals had, she then started abusing them. My personal friends saw her blasting my family and were confused but saw she'd blasted me too, assumed we'd broken up and they jumped to defend my family. This legit started a Facebook war with about 140 people. She and I did eventually talk calmly a while later where she explained she started this entire war for one very simple reason: She didn't want me to leave her in case she came across as a "crazy ex" or something. SHE needed to dump ME so she could show off that she was a strong, independent woman who don't need no man. I laughed. I hung up. I never spoke to her, her friends, her family, anyone who associates with her, ever again. Oh, and I moved out of that town :P
"I became the crazy ex because I was worried if I said it was just a mutual break up they only maybe might think I was a crazy ex" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
So glad you dodged that bullet holy 💩
Your ex is just another Amber Heard
wooooooW! Glad you are free.
@@lifewuzonceezr Thanks~
I actually said to her when we talked calmly later that I never considered her a crazy ex, we just didn't mesh together as well as we did in the honeymoon phase was all. There was still some bitterness (and I found out much later that she'd stolen a bunch of my stuff in the break up) but she seemed genuinely surprised that I didn't have any hard feelings to her.. well before she went crazy anyway
10:40 OP’s fiance is a jerk. Blaming her for everything is so cruel. I am relieved she didn’t marry someone like that
its good he showed his true colours before she married him.
What a piece of crap
Now all OP needs is some therapy so she can realize she’s to good for that jerk
Thank God someone pointed this out!! Like. Yeah sharah is a damn issue. But seriously her fiancé basically told her. "You're a dumbass for ever falling for her shit and I can't be with a dumbass." Like what the actual fuck. He basically breaks up with her then gets offended she returns all his stuff fuck him too! Fuck all of them.
Yeah, that guy was CLEARLY looking for an exit.
OP is spineless doormat. The fiancé dodged a bullet.
First Story: There's a difference between tough love and overly strict parents, but calling them overly strict is an understatement. Jeez, holding OP's girlfriend hostage is definitely the insane part.
This isn't the first reddit story like this. There's one where op was losing weight for her own health, but her grandmother thought this meant she wanted a husband. Grandmother kept trying to set her up with "nice traditional" men that would allow her to keep studying or working if she wanted. Op basically had to threaten her family that if they tried to force her to marry she'd make sure one way or another they the authorities would know that they where keeping her hostage/ forcing her into a marriage. That shut the grandmother up, and her parents where happy it was over as the grandmother was doing stuff hazardous to her health if they did try and help her.
The fact the family is willing to murder her for protecting their honor is all mess up.
@@pippo17173 honor is bullshit
Ironically, OP 2 won so much here. She managed to get out of a toxic friendship in which both people manipulated her and threw her aside, and the fallout from that got her out of a relationship with someone who not only didn’t trust her word over that of her “friends” but _blamed her_ for _their_ malicious actions. Now she gets to start over with new friends and, hopefully, a partner who appreciates her and trusts her.
First story, they need to continue to be very careful. Honour killings are still a thing and there's no statute of limitations for families in this scenario.
You know, in the second story, if Sarah was so convinced OP had a crush on Matt, why did she pursue him to begin with?
I mean, if she's such a good friend, why would she intentionally take her friend's crush, marry him, and keep being friends all the while knowing OP has a crush on her husband? That sounds like Sarah enjoys stepping all over OP and her feelings to begin with, or at the very least a terrible friend.
I'm glad OP is getting some semblance of a backbone, learning how to not be a doormat.
Arranged marriage can work out if both partners consent. This isn’t an arranged marriage, it’s a forced marriage
EXACTLY
That's what 99% of arranged marriages are. "We give you our daughter as a bribe so we can leech off of your success and your son gets to force himself on her until she physically can't give birth anymore." These aren't happy people, their lives are being traded like stocks.
Fax
Yes!!! In this context I hate how some people think that arranged marriages make people feel better but how do you know that the “fiancé” is a good person, how old was the person, do they have a criminal background, etc I think really ridiculous
Is in arranged marriage the same thing as a blind date just your parents do it instead of your friends?
That poor girl in the second story. Her so called friends and her fiance are all pieces of shit for treating her that way. Sounds like the fiance didn't want in the relationship at all because if he did he would have believed her that the whole thing was a lie / misunderstanding and he wouldn't have gas lighted her into thinking that it's her fault that her friend manipulated her. Talk about victim blaming Jesus christ. Sounds like he was just looking for an easy out anyways. It wasn't under the best of circumstances but at least she got three toxic people out of her life. Being a doormat isn't a choice, it's a result of trauma. If someone is a doormat they are a victim not the bad guy. The bad guys are the ones treating them like a doormat. Not everyone has the confidence to stand up for themselves and it's ableist to expect everyone to be able to. She was already down and an emotionally vulnerable place and he further gaslighted her into thinking that she was in the wrong for being walked all over her whole life. That story is just sickening.
I thought so too, there is no way in hell that OP being manipulated is somehow a dealbreaker?? The very point of manipulation is that you usually have no way of knowing that you're being manipulated. This guy is seriously weird if he thinks that makes someone unfit for a future spouse. But then again, if he didn't want to get married, why even propose? It's such a weird situation
Here's the overall problem your missing, Op mentioned she would cancel dates with her fiance to help out said friends, that's in the back of his mind, also put in the possibility for his insecurity being either he was cheated on, replaced by someone else or he knew someone this happened too. And then you have someone that is drunk spills that kind of information and majority of the time when someone is drunk they are not lying, so with all that I don't think the finances an ahole, I don't think op is an ahole and I don't think Matt's an ahole. I think they were all gas lit by Sarah and ultimately shes the ahole.
So a man should either want to marry someone who is in love with someone else (Making him a doormat and therefore the victim in your world) or a man should marry someone who attracts toxic people. (Which would then again make him a doormat for finding it acceptable.)
The ex-fiance is 100% right about the situation.
@@nigredoooalgown6245 You're forgetting that the fiancee was also toxic. OP finally starts bettering herself, cuts things off with Matt and Sarah, tries to explain everything to the fiancee (who apparently just doesn't want to hear it), then gets mad when she breaks up with him and gives his stuff and gifts back after he was the one who proposed the "reality" that their relationship wouldn't last first. He could have helped her develop a spine sooner and helped her not be a doormat but instead stayed quiet and then blew up on her when one of the so-called friends lied about her having feelings for them. Instead of talking it out, he says the relationship won't last either way and then gets angry when she breaks things off completely and officially. Why does he get to be mad about that after completely ignoring how he made OP feel by ignoring and not believing her and had apparently already decided he couldn't be with her?
@@drwboy07 Plenty of people lie when drunk. The alcohol destroys the filter between the brain and the mouth, it doesn't really make you tell the truth. That's why people who get pulled over for drunk driving can still lie to the police about not drinking.
Story 2: They didn't want OP to get married, because OP would have less time for THEIR kids. If OP got married, OP might have kids of her own. OP wouldn't be able to just drop everything, anytime they "needed" help. They could probably tell that the boyfriend wasn't happy about not being OP's first choice. OP needs to move get that better job, and wash her hands of all three of these people. Let them raise their kids.
That’s exactly what I was thinking when I heard this story! She’s their free caretaker, if she had other commitments then she couldn’t help them anymore
For better or worse, I like this subreddit because it is not often that you get a full ending to someone's story.
Story 2. It seems more like her friend is using her and don't want her to be unavailable whenever she wants something from her. It's somewhat like "I know we are upset with each other, but now when you're single you can babysit for me, right?".
I have a lot of East Asian friends. Yes, no one ever connects China/Japan/South Korea with arranged marriages, cause they think of the wrong thing.
Ever watched Anime where the protagonist sits there with a stack of folders from „possible suitors“ to marry? Arranged marriage. Also called Omiai in Japanese. Very common (still) in a lot of cultures. It’s basically like non-digital tinder through a match maker. Often members/friends of the family, but there’s professional ones, too. You meet, you date, you get a say. Not a match? Bye!
THAT‘S arranged marriage. Cause someone ARRANGED for you 2 to meet.
What’s described in this story is a FORCED marriage and actually already illegal in most countries. Legality doesn’t matter to those people though. It after all still happens in 1st world countries like the US or EU countries to this day as well. Victims basically get human trafficked by their own families for „honour“ and since it’s considered a family matter, no one watches until a complaint is made. Which most victims don’t dare/aren’t able to do.
"It after all still happens in 1st world countries like the US or EU countries to this day as well." That just made me think of the stereotypical shotgun wedding as an example of a forced marriage.
agreed..there are many MANY cultures that still do this..no matter your race , religion or financials
Based on story 2: The hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life was realize that my "best friends" from childhood were actually just using me and that I had been a doormat. The second hardest thing was dropping those friends, especially one that more than 10 years later is obsessed with "trying to be friends with me" and still tries to contact me every 6 months or so despite me blocking her on all social media that I own and phone numbers that she has used to try and contact me with. I have even mostly ignored mutual friends or told mutual friends how we aren't friends anymore and reasons why.
Narcissists need that supply, so they will reach out to old sources periodically to see if they can get anything. It's why they also stay in contact with so many of their exes. (Not cuz they are just such great people, like they claim, but because they keep stringing people along so they can have possible sources of whatever it is Narcissists get from people.)
Jesus, that second one was a heavy hitter... All my hope goes out to her to have a speedy recovery. No one deserves that kind of person in their life.
jeez why did the fiance in the second story even propose when he doesnt even trust his fiancee on the very first chance?! lol
The guy in the last story said exactly why he did this. He knew that people would give him shit for his actions so he had to make it look like op's fault. He knew exactly what he was doing
Hopefully OP tells everyone why and those people give him even more shit than they would’ve have if he’d just broken up with her
One tool that OP has in supporting her side of the story is the ring. Would anyone believe that a good man who is doing well financially buy an obviously crap engagement ring?
@@glennrishton5679 the bar for men is sometimes really low, I think some would just think he has no taste
Plus there's easier ways to find out if your SO is a gold digger and a lot earlier in the relationship before you even get anywhere near marriage. Take your SO to a fairly expensive dinner, offer to pay and see what they order. If they order the most expensive thing you'll have your answer. The fiance in this story is a douche bag for obvious reasons but the op is 100% a gold digger. If your SO truly loved and cared about you, they wouldn't care about what gift you gave them.
@@neffyg35 Good point.
I'm kind of glad OP broke up with Jack. It definitely sounds like he was having second thoughts, and was using the situation as an excuse to get out of the engagement - why else would you be so unreasonable about your approach to it. Even when faced with OP's convincing testimony (via the letter), he twists it to essentially gaslight her and say that he still doesn't want to get engaged and that it's her fault. A little annoyed that OP started thinking that she may have been a doormat - maybe she was, but it sounds like the result of the gaslighting.
But it definitely sounds like Sarah was actually the one that caused Matt to stop being friends with her, rather than Matt choosing to. Of course, the final choice was his, but if his partner was pressuring him to he may have felt like he was facing an ultimatum. Do not, DO NOT get me wrong. Sarah, Matt and Jack are all assholes and douches here, but I'm definitely getting the vibe that Sarah was the worst of the lot. It even feels like that she may have fed this delusion to Matt that OP had a crush (hence why she wanted to limit their contact and all that). Matt getting drunk and saying it at the engagement party also seems like something that someone who had a crush would do, to try and 'maintain dominance' or something. Like, Matt actually had the crush on OP for the longest time, and him talking about how she might finally get over the crush (that he believed she had on account of Sarah) was like him saying to Jack "yeah, she's only yours because I didn't want her".
Ultimately, 3 shit people that OP is better off without.
Story 1.
This hell is not over, and my advice to OP is to leave india as soon as possible. It's just a matter of When OP, especially like you stated, if they have significant police/political contacts. They will come for you. Stay safe brother, Congratulations on your marriage.
Yeah. But leaving India is not that easy. But relocating far away is possible. Like from UP to Mumbai or Banglore.
Yeah, but the target on their backs only goes away if they leave India. Moving far away reduces the risk, but it doesn't eliminate it.
They need to move someplace where they can set a restraining order against her family. What if they come back and try to kidnap her again?
@@charityquill4965 Those don't help anyone in india. Their best bet (if the police is involved) is getting the family on a non bailable offence.
In the last story, the fiance didn't think she was a gold digger, he knew she wasn't. His family loved her so much that he knew if he left her they would be upset with him, especially if he started dating right away so he bought a crap ring on purpose so she would complain about it then he could lie to his family and say she was a gold digger and they wouldn't be mad at him for leaving her and dating right away.
He sucks for what he did, he's a huge asshole
But I am a firm believer that you never get to demand a better ring especially just because you know your partner can afford better. Diamonds are price gouged. Engagement rings are very often lost, stolen, or damaged. Invest in a wedding set you will only wear on special occasions and a cheap set you'll wear daily. Whether it was his plan or not, she had no right to be upset about her ring no matter how shitty she felt it was.
@@JHyde-tv3if eh I typically agree with you, yes. However if I'm with someone who is considered rich or wealthy and they basically go to a $.50 machine and buy my ring from that then I would also be upset. I don't expect diamonds or half their salary or whatever the "rule" is. My husband bought me like a $100 engagement ring and I loved it but that's what we could afford. I do believe that it is the thought behind it that is more important than the price tag but sometimes the thought is pretty obvious depending on the ring they've bought.
@@Swamp_Queen My husband COULD have absolutely dropped like a full grand or more on my ring. I am glad he didn't. One, a waste of money and I refuse to support the diamond industry. Two, I ended up losing it and wearing it even when working so it got dirty a lot. Getting genuinely upset about the price of your ring is already putting a monetary value on your marriage. I'm glad she realized he was a POS but also.. she didn't deserve to be married if she couldn't be happy with the ring given.
@@JHyde-tv3if well I think that wanting a diamond just for the sake of a diamond is silly but I also think it depends on the person. If I was marrying someone who regularly spent excessive amounts of money on bs and never thought twice about it and then spent $50 on something that is supposed to be extremely important and sentential that would have me questioning things. Again, not because I actually CARE about the price tag of the item but because it would seem weird and like they don't care about me or even worse like they were trying to say something/make a point etc like the guy in this story. I also think that if you and your partner have talked about marriage and discussed rings before then when they finally buy one it's the complete opposite of what you've ever talked about it could be upsetting. I don't think the actual price tag behind it is what matters as much, I think OP could have received that exact same ring from someone different and been extremely happy with it but because of who her partner is/was and the type of personality and spending habits he possesses it made it obvious that there was something going on with the purchase of the cheap ring.
That second story... sounds like OPs fiance was looking for an out and is blowing the whole thing WAY out of proportion as an excuse to end the engagement.
Ok but why would he even propose, then?? Assuming that the party at which this all went down happened sometime soon after the engagement, it just wouldn't make sense to propose while thinking that the relationship needs to be ended
I really just found out the second worst thing you can do instead of just dump someone making an elaborate plan to make someone else look bad, and the first one is cheating on someone
And here we have a fiancé who's both number one and number two!
The scariest thing about those arranged marriages is that they're very common, and it's not rare to have a teenage girl marry a man triple her age against her will... it's disgusting and sad.
But what really angers me is police, the entity that was supposed to protect you, becoming your enemy just because of the family's connections...
*3rd Story:* I hope that ex-fiance gets a big dose of karma and that younger woman turns out to be an _actual_ gold digger!
I don't think the last guy thought she was a gold digger. He was trying to make her seem like one in order to make his break up look justified in front of his family.
If I were in the second story, I would honestly punch my own ticket at that point. Shallow, manipulative friends, a fiancé who blames *me* for getting manipulated, and both ultimately leaving me in the dust. That's just such a hopeless situation.
Nah, what OP got was a wake up call!
Honestly if I discovered myself in such a situation I would move. Being so obvious to what a doormat they were in all those situations even with Jack she realized she just went along with his timeline of things.....meaning odds are most every relationship needs to be reevaluated.....I would find confronting or trying to change long standing interactions too difficult and too easy to slip back into old patterns....so I would save up and move, start over in terms of a social circle and since this personality type is usually from childhood trauma....that means no contact with family too.....so unless I had some distant relative who didn't get along with my (newly discovered) abusive family members to live with, that would mean no set destination, so.... if no set destination that means while saving yo move I would be just looking for my dream job who cares about location, rather than move and get whatever I could....while saving and working what you already have, look for your dream occupation any location anywhere. And then let your dream job pick where the location that you start your new life. I would also recommend some therapy to help myself see why I wasn't able to notice what was happening in my prior relationships so it doesn't happen again, and boom..... now you can start fresh without the toxic people, you also now know what things to watch for to alert you to future toxic people.
This world is full of toxic people you can't let them win, you need to treat them like challenges to be overcome and lessons so you are better protected in the future.
Except her life's just about to get a hell of a lot better. She's going to notice all kinds of disasters and stress vanish, now she's no longer in the orbit of two drama-loving bitches who mistrust her but like having a free babysitter. When you get shot of that kind of person, complications you took for normal suddenly disappear.
As for the fiancé, it's sad and awful the way he chose to end it, but she'll look back on the callous way he said "I have two ways of looking at this..." and shudder that she could have ended up married to that, still under the blissful impression he wanted to be there. It must hurt a lot right now, but anything that can be destroyed by the truth should be, especially when you're about to commit the rest of your life to someone. Gaining life experience often sucks in the moment, but she won't get fooled that way again.
I've heard this one before. Hopefully arranged marriages will be a thing of the past eventually.
There are legal steps to take, but family "honour" killings are still a HUGE thing in india. And all available forms of recourse(legal, political, Police intervention etc) rarely ever happen before the couple is murdered or broken up forcibly or forcibly married off.
This hell is not over, and my advice to OP is to leave india as soon as possible. It's just a matter of When OP, especially like you stated, if they have significant police/political contacts. They will come for you. Stay safe brother. Congratulations on your marriage.
That's not an arranged marriage. That's a forced marriage. They're different.
Thing is even in places like India forced marriages are actually illegal, but still happen because of the fears put into the those involved, such as happened in this story and kidnapping does happen to cause it. Even a quick google search will show its been illegal in India since 1872, this is mostly thanks to the British being there.
Hoping on the comment section accomplishes nothing, if you really wanna help, be s voice of anti bigotry and reason to your peers
This is not arranged marriage... It is forced marriage under threat of being killed...
Watch a movie called "Sairat" see if u can find 1 with English subtitles... Its almost the same exact scenario
Can we talk about the second story. OP's ex-friend thought she was in love with matt when she introduced them. So she then dates and marries the guy?! All while she believed OP is madly in love with him for all these years?! She was shitty friend from the beginning.
She probably got off on the idea that she had stolen away OP true love. So of course she wouldn't want to save the engagement. OP getting married would mean she didn't win anything. She's was probably always jealous of OP and having matt made her feel like she was better than her.
The first story is a very lucky situation. We had something similar happen in Italy a year ago and finally the truth is cominq to light. There was this family from Pakistan living here. The daughter got into a romantic relationship with a guy and posted pics and all on their socials. The girl was set up for an arranged marriage with a cousin of theirs. I guess distant. But the fact is yesterday news broke of something horrible happening. That the brother showed pictures of the socials of his sister and their disgusting parents had this to say: "After what you've shown us how should've we reacted?" they apparently killed her with the help of family and dumped her in a big river and was never found. Also they too have connections so they're apparently protected in Pakistan despite a warrant for them had been issued by the Italian government for imprisonment. This world is awful.
My bf is Pakistani. I'm a white catholic-raised Canadian. Apparently his mother cried when he told her we were together
... Well I feel like I have nothing to say here. Other than HOW THE FUCK CAN PEOPLE BE SO MENTALLY SICK AS TO KILL THEIR OWN *DAUGHTER* JUST BECAUSE SHE LIKES SOMEONE WHO THEY DIDN'T CHOOSE TO HE WITH HER
Man, the friends were jerks in the second story (manipulation for years? Just wow) but the fiance is even worse in my eyes. Doesn't trust the person he is willing to marry and rather than working things through, just acts butt hurt that she could possibly have liked someone else before him (news flash, most people have dated before they meet the person they will marry). Op lost so much, I hope she can rebuild stronger than ever
Syory 2: Dump Sarah and Matt, neither of them are her friends. Dump the fiancé, he is worthless.
OP 2: That incident really shows the how desirable her fiance is as a person, so I'd say she dodged a bullet
OP in the first story really needs to look into leaving the country with his wife. Sure her family are quiet for now, but they probably won't stay silent and are willing to end her life.
2nd story: poor poor op. They say we tend to repeat ourselves in our relationships for better and worse, because it feels familiar and safe in some twisted way even if it's not healthy for us. Op found herself in a cycle of forming friendships and relationships with people more interested in using her than actually caring about her. I feel so bad for her but I'm glad she got out, and realized the patterns. I hope she finds people who actually care for her and are interested in her. Also that fiance was such a douchebag!
If someone wants to assume you've had a crush on them and try and make a scene in front of your significant other the only logical thing to do is laugh hysterically
Exactly and as you are doubled over in laughter between gasps of air you say "YOU??!???! YOU???!!??!! REALLY??? Of all the people I could have a crush on you thibknit would be someone who....._______" and name a few actions (not physical attributes) that they do that you don't like/enjoy/approve of. And then say "never sorry no dude, you are legit like family to me." Hold your gut thank them for such a great laugh, wipe tears from your eyes.
No matter their intent for saying it you just psychologically smacked them in the face hard.
LMAO thank you for the laugh you two.. underrated comments😂
AITAH for making someone think I wasn’t in a wheelchair?
This happened last week but I don’t have a Reddit account to post this on.
So we (mum and bro) were popping into a fairly well known supermarket in the UK. I needed to use the loo and my mum said to go whilst they grabbed the few things we’d come in for. I found the disabled bathroom and went in. I’d only been in there for a few minutes (3 tops) when there was pulling on the door. I said “Occupied.” thinking someone had missed the ‘locked’ sign, but then they started pulling it again. This time I yelled a bit louder “It’s occupied!” to which a lady said “Well can you hurry up?!” I just ignored this but then she (who I will be referring to as EP) started fully banging on the door not a full 30 seconds later!
Now for context I have Cerebal Palsy, so whilst I mainly use a wheelchair, I can stand and walk a bit, I just can’t do it for long and I’m really wobbly. So I got up, unlocked the door and opened it a crack. There was a woman, late 30’s, with a kid, around 7 or 8, standing behind her. The following conversation took place:
Me: Excuse me, do you mind?
EP: Can you hurry up? My son needs the bathroom.
Me: I can’t really go with you banging on the door. It’s kinda off putting.
EP: Well if you’re not using it, then we can!
Me: I am using it, you’re just distracting me.
The EP’s hand is on the door handle but I won’t let go. She looks around and at me and then something dawns on her face.
EP: Where’s your wheelchair? This is a disabled toilet, you know.
Me: I know. I am disabled.
EP: No you’re not! You don’t have a wheelchair so you can’t use this toilet.
I’m just thinking “really?!” I know that I had my chair with me but I thought “I don’t need to prove anything!”
Me: I assure you, I am disabled. Not everyone who’s disabled uses a wheelchair! And by that logic, your son isn’t disabled and so he doesn’t need to use this bathroom either!
EP: Whatever, just get out!
At this point I’m sick of this and my mum’s probably finished shopping, so I say “Fine.” EP has a smug look on her face when I close the door, but it is instantly wiped off when I come back out propelling myself in my chair. She just froze and stared down at me and I said “Could you move please?” in my sweetest voice. Her son grabbed her hand and sorta had to move her, but once I’d got past she quickly hopped in the bathroom and locked the door.
I found my mum and brother waiting by the exit and when we got in the car I told them what happened. My mum found it hilarious but my brother thinks it was a jerk move to not just show her my wheelchair and save her the embarrassment.
I genuinely don’t think I’ve done anything wrong here. I told her I was disabled, she was the one who chose not to believe me. Why don’t people get that you don’t have to *look* disabled to *be* disabled?
What do you think rSlash? Am I the butthole for not proving I use a wheelchair?
No OP!!! You dont owe anyone an explaination on YOUR disability. You are not a specimen to be gawked at no matter what, and on top of that she chose to be an ignorant AH.
No your brother is just an abelist and worries that the day he confronts someone they won't show him their disability soon enough and he will embarrass himself. He is just trying to program people to warn him before he shows his true colors....and as such sticking up for his ilk.
First story: there is nothing you can tell me no explanation you can give me that her parents were not narcissistic psychopaths by forcing her to marry a 60-65 year old man against her life
Story 1: Arranged marriages suck. Most of them (that I've heard of) end in disaster due to various reasons. Good thing M managed to escape and marry OP before the family could do anything about it
Funny enough, arranged marriages are still very common and they often have very low divorce rates (mostly depending on culture)
@@shykorustotora Correction - Low "reported" divorce rates. Also not because they are healthy or functional but because of "What will others say...." attitude of Indians.
@@shykorustotora If the wife tried to get a divorce she'd be shamed, beaten, or killed. Low rates are a given when they arent allowed to divorce.
Can confirm, my parents are still married and haven't been on speaking terms for almost a decade. And we live in the states, so it really goes to show how far cultural influence goes
Many of my relatives seem fine in their arranged marriages so I can't say every arranged marriage is terrible, but the most important part is the consent of both partners to marriage.
@@xXthevenomousXx That depends entirely on the culture and family. My stepmom is Chinese and was a part of an arranged marriage. She had a daughter but then got a divorce. Was she shamed? No. You can’t blanket term ALL arranged marriages as the same. You may as well blanket ALL Christians the same lol
Please please keep doing more of the BestOf !! These bring me (mosty) joy when hearing really good / satisfying conclusions
Story#2: I bet OP had a traumatic childhood to pick such absolutely shitty people to be close to her. She needs a massive amount of therapy. Hope she is able to heal and have a good life.
So, OP's ex in the third story purposely set up things so that he had a 'reason' to dump her so he doesn't look bad to his parents. Then he *told* *her* *everything* *including* *him* *cheating* *on* *her* . With OP totally being able to go to her ex's parents, who care about her, and explaining everything which will make things infinitely worse. OP dodged a bullet
I think she should’ve recorded his tirade and send it to his parents.
Personally, I think that the update is fake. It sounds to me like she complained about not getting a ring worth more than a house, got flamed for it, and then made up an insane update to make her seem like the victim. She just goes so over the top to write her Fiancé as this evil super-villain giving him a monologue about his evil plan which he tells to her all in one take like a scene out of Hollywood.
Story 1, I hope they move out of the country soon. As long as they are in the country, there is a high chance she could end up dead to protect the family's 'honor'
1000% chance it will happen..
In some cultures, being part of a family comes with lots of nonnegotiable responsibilities. Marrying for love takes lower priority than say marrying for political/social advantages. Yes it sucks but don't forget, this kind of thing is actually very common and has been so for tens of thousands of human history. Napoleon's first wife who was lower nobility thought he was "ew" but they agreed to get married because he needed an heir and she was aging and in debt
@@shykorustotora just because it's common, doesn't make it right or mean that it should not be changed. I mean, people used to offer human sacrifices for various gods for tens of thousands of years as well, and now we globally regard it as horrible and unacceptable.
@@janew5550 All this does is remind me of the debate with the Spanish Bullfighting. There was this big uproar in the US that the Spanish had to stop bullfighting because it was cruel to animals. The Spanish countered and said “Would you give up your Cowboy Rodeos?” The US argued “You have to right to tell US what we can or cannot do it OUR country!!” The Spanish just went.. 🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️
@@shykorustotora censure is fine but actually killing someone over something nebulous as honor is inhuman. I see it as something similar to clout-chasing on social media and we can all see the stupid stunts people pull so that their peers think they are cool or in this case 'honorable'.
This comes from someone who was born, raised, and currently living in an Asian country with a strong family culture and the concept of 'shame' and 'getting along with others/society' and a hive mind mentality.
I am just glad that our culture is more matriarchal and gives a fair amount of decision-making power in the hands of women.
I introduced my two best friends, and quickly became the third wheel, if I was noticed in the first place. It hurt but I was used to being ignored, didn't mean it hurt less. They weren't malicious or cruel, they were just more interested in each other than me. But Jack in that story sorta like??? Really upsets me, he took the word of a drunken oaf over his fiance, he then gave her a dead end scenario where 'ur a horrible person, or ur a person with horrible choices'. He didn't even consider that those people weren't always like that... he abandoned her when she needed him most.
I'm glad she called it off. Jack was just as much of a dick as Matt and Sarah.
Last story, OP should tell his parents on how their son is a failure as a humanbeing.
Wow.
Story 2, OP dodged THREE bullets!
2 narcissists, and a victim blamer.
OP even blamed herself for being "clingy," not realizing that she was _conditioned_ to do so.
It's how gaslighting works, and why she was still expected to babysit now that the distracting fiancé was out of the way.
I hope OP gets some better perspective in her healing.
Sara and Matt story.
Horrible people. Absolutely horrible. If anything, I'm glad she rid of all of them It's hard; but she learned, and now she can find even better. What they did was shitty, but what was worse was the partner of hers not believing her, or trying to fix things. Ignoring was cruel, ghosting was not the way; and they could of solved it via talking, counseling, and anything really. There was no win-win, they were cruel, non-understanding people, who I personally hope the worst for. What comes around goes around. I hope OP finds better love, adapts, gets better in the future; and gains even more confidence. What I hope on the horrible people in it is their car towed; their house demolished, and bankruptcy. It sounds harsh, but what they did was harsh too; so this is exactly what they deserve. I hope shitty people get what they deserve.
That second story. Her fiancé couldn’t even trust her. Wow she dodged a bullet.
This is slowly becoming one of my favourite subreddits that you read.
Soooo happy to have another one (ps that family in the first story are actual MONSTERS)
Story 2: I really wish OP said she would watch Sarah’s kid and then block her everywhere. I’m a petty person.
Rslash, it's both adorable and tragic that you(and many others) will misread that last story phenomenally. He wasn't waiting for her complaint to convince ANYONE that she was a gold digger. He just wanted to be able to ACCUSE her, BASELESSLY, and he was so UPFRONT about WANTING TO LIE FOR OPTICS that he told her, to her face, "thank god you finally cracked and stopped tolerating my shitty purchase so that I can finally divorce you over it!!"
This was one of those comic book level methodical "mua haa haaa" evil plans where the villain literally could not wait to jump up and explain his plan to the victim. Trash human. Just, not for the reasons you thought.
It sounds like that fiance just wanted an easy out honestly
In the second story, I would not have seen my partner in the same light again if they threw away our relationship over a dated a-hole acquaintance's lie. If they think so little of me that they will take a (to them) stranger's words for granted, then they're more shallow than I'd given them credit for, and I would tell them as much. Then I would give them an ultimatum to either come around to mend things, or they wouldn't be given the opportunity to apologize ever again no matter how much they cry and beg.
And I would definitely have done what OP did and cut ties with the so-called "friend" that not only is indifferent to their partner ruining my first relationship, but also gave hints of being in on it while using me for one-sided favors. Maybe I would even go so far as ruining _their_ relationship in return if I saw a chance to do so, but I'm sure the "friend" would be able to ruin their own relationship just fine without me if they're like Sarah.
Final Story - I don't think the ex fiance assumed she was a gold digger, he was just hoping to paint her that way to friends and family and use it as an excuse to end the relationship without looking like the complete schmuck that he was. Unfortunately for him, even the world's cheapest (in appearance, quality, and value) engagement ring couldn't turn OP into the "material girl" he wanted to publicly denounce. Instead, op dodged one hell of a bullet, and her ex was left ranting about his failed plans like a second rate Bond villain.
Story 2: I'm really surprised that Rslash didn't go off on the Fiance here. Op was Manipulated by her toxic friends and when she goes to tell the one person who's supposed to support her, he just dips and doesn't contact her. Then when does come to talk to OP and is confronted with the truth, he 1) suggests that she's still not telling the truth and 2) victims her for being manipulated. Was OP being a bit of a doormat and letting her best friend use her? Yes. But this fiance is mad at OP instead of person using her. What an asshole. I glad OP left this asshat and I hope finds someone way better
That guy was definitely having second thoughts and looking for an excuse to break things off. Why else react that way? I mean, even when the crazy friends claimed she had a crush on the guy, why would you fly off the handle, take their word for it and refuse to listen to your fiancee?
It’s seems like the fiancé didn’t want to deal with OPs doormat personality and toxic friends.
@@MrDoverfield He VICTIM BLAMED HER. If he could see how toxic her friends were, he could have just TOLD HER. He blamed her for being a victim in a toxic relationship, which are notoriously difficult to identify when you're in them until it's too late! The fact that you are siding with him and not the actual victim in the situation is shitty, and I hope you grow some empathy.
@@fdm2155 She also had a doormat personality, so this is almost certainly not the only time she'd treat him unfairly because of other peoples words. (don't forget all the stories on rSlash where OP's would treat their partner like crap because friends/family manipulated them).
So no, fiancee is 100% justified in getting out there. If she had proven to be a trustworthy partner then he'd have been a dick, but she herself admitted that, at least in this case, she let others walk over her and abandon him, and I highly doubt this is the only time considering the friends she chose.
@@Stefisgarden It isn't your partners responsibility to tell you who is a good or a bad friend. He can do it if he wants, but you're accountable for your own choice of company. Especially if you drop plans with your partner for said company.
Fair is fair, he could have given her a chance to prove otherwise. But she was 100% accountable for not taking a single hour to reflect on the state of her friendship, anyone who takes such poor care of their relationships to others cannot be trusted with a marriage.
Bet the "younger model" is a gold digger! LOL He only sees it as an upgrade till he realizes that there is more to a lasting relationship then looks! I have heard this one before and still think it super messed up that he would propose just to break up! LOL Wonder what he would do to get a divorce if he is to chicken sh*t to just end things!
"So glad you got over your crush on me."
You assume I'm not out of your league? That's cute.
I think it's even BETTER that OP broke things off with her ex-fiance in the Toxic Friend story.
If Jack chose to believe Sarah over his OWN fiance, then complain about it to OP, what else would he do when they're married?
Even when OP told Jack about everything she thought about, he STILL put the blame of Sarah's "Manipulation" on OP.
Good on OP for ditching the toxic friend and spineless fiance!
Sarah & Matt didn't want Op to get Married because they would be loose the Person they was Using . Sarah & Matt sound like they was only friends with Op so they could use her . The ex BF sounds like he was looking for away out
Another kidnapped into an arranged marriage story? I consider myself pretty open-minded and believe that a lot of these things definitely can and will happen because the world is a fucked up place but sometimes stories on Reddit are so similar to each other that it strains credulity. It has the same Vibes as a college student plagiarizing their paper but changing some of the sentence structure so it's not EXACTLY the same.
p.s. you've been hitting a lot of the same subreddits lately. I miss hearing stories from relationship advice and nuclear revenge and entitled parents. Bring them back please
A lot of them sound carbon copies because most of them are exactly that, all arrange marriages are organized when the child is within the first year or two of life, so the person involved never has a say in it, nor often than not meet their future husband/wife. As I said in another post, welcome to India, where it happens a lot.
@@Ryanthusar I wasn't talking about arranged marriage stories specifically I was talking about how a lot of Stories on Reddit sound very similar to each other as if somebody saw a story that was popular and then decided to plagiarize it with different words. This was an overall about Reddit in general comment not specifically about arranged marriage stories. As I made very clear in my opening statement, I believe these things can and will happen because the world is a fucked up place. Just pointing out how you have to take every story on Reddit with a grain of salt because while some of them are true, most of them are just hyperbole for entertainment
Actually India is huge and this does happen all the type in RL, the girls are afraid to admit they are dating and the family would rather see her dead than shame the family so they arrange a marriage to whoever they can get to take this disgraced women to safe the family honour. She's very lucky to have survived at all, there are real stories of the daughter being beaten tortured , raped and killed by the family itself, that even happens inside the U.K. Look up honour killings, the parents are the girls worst enemy.
This entire episode is just “terrible fiancés doing terrible things.” From a 60 year old willing to marry a 20 something, to the spineless fiancé who thinks the second OP was at fault for being manipulated, to the toxic hubby who tried to trick the situation so they could get out of an affair the good guy, holy shit. So glad they’re out.
RSlash calling people Doofus is my lifeblood 😂😂
Jack obviously did not care for her. Being manipulated by someone you thought was your best friend doesn't mean YOU have issues. It means that person who faked being your friend has issues!!!
The thing is _he didn't know she was being manipulated_ for him this looks like an either or situation, and one of the two situations is much more likely than the other. Either she called a toxic, lying, manipulative person, her closest friend for many years (and abandoned plans with her partner on multiple occasion for them), or she wanted to cover up liking another guy.
One of these two situations happens much more frequently than others in relationships.
Story 1 Mary’s family is disgusting I know it’s part of their culture but it needs to stop yesterday they totally deserves to loose their daughter
Story 3: what I think was happening was OP's ex was trying to twist this so that he looks like the good guy, and when OP "took too long to complain" he berated her because "it's too late to tell everyone you're a gold digger" what a bastard
The second story reminds me of the time my best friend got into a fight with a friend of his (who wasn't my friend), and in an attempt to gain moral high ground, the friend started accusing my best friend and me of fooling around behind my partner's back. The guy knew my best friend was coming to visit us in a month or so, and wound up writing an email to my partner that included-I kid you not!-lines like "As a concerned Christian, I feel it's my moral duty to inform you..." and "So you should ask yourself why (best friend) is REALLY coming to visit." And his 'proof' was basically along the lines of "Guys and girls can NOT be as close as those two are."
I'm also the kind of friend that will do just about anything for my closest friends, so I feel very sad that OP's actions were willfully seen as being more than they were. It hits home in the worst way. I suppose I'm just lucky my partner knew better and laughed in that guy's face, then told him to never talk to either of us again. I hope OP is doing so much better.
This is the best way to start of a Monday morning.
yes indeed
True
Literally writing an essay in second hour rn 😂
@@lizziebean7984 bro that sucks
The 2nd one… Oh my.. Op I feel anger for you. ANGER!
Imagine getting betrayed by your best friends of many years and your fiancé who’s supposed to support you goes “wow, you couldn’t tell they were awful people until they did something awful to you? What a loser” He had a point about her being a doormat and that being poor judgement but it sounds like he used that situation as an excuse to get out of the engagement because he was having second thoughts, if he really cared at all he wouldn’t have just listened to some random drunk rambling and then refused to talk to her about it at all.
Dealing with the first story: OP and their wife might want to move away from that area asap, potentially somewhere several hundred miles away. I've heard of too many stories about "honor killings" over less than this. Sounds like this family might just try something too, if they for instance catch her out alone, and she just disappears like last time. Strong chance they might jump him when he's alone too for being the "cause".
I feel like the family in the first story has been watching too much Game of Thrones
First story is from India.
@@Ryanthusar I know
In some cultures, being part of a family comes with lots of nonnegotiable responsibilities. Marrying for love takes lower priority than say marrying for political/social advantages. Yes it sucks but don't forget, this kind of thing is actually very common and has been so for tens of thousands of human history. Napoleon's first wife who was lower nobility thought he was "ew" but they agreed to get married because he needed an heir and she was aging and in debt
Love your stuff but can you do more r/nuclear revenge
He can't do much of that because most of it is flat-out illegal and would get him demonetised if put in a video.
I’m glad Op not only cut ties with Sarah and Matt, but also Jack. His actions makes it seem like he either didn’t have much trust in his partner to begin with, he was already very insecure in their relationship and being told once by a drunk idiot, “Your fiancée has a crush on me,” was enough to validate those insecurities, or he was already done with the relationship and looking for any reason to break it off.
Second story: The toxicity of the friends helped OP dodge a bullet. "I don't want to be anyone's second choice" is one of those weird feelings that reeks of toxic jealousy.
I love this subreddit
Second story just srsly, all of them suck except op, friends are manipulative jerks and fiance just gave her up because she made a mistake, people make mistakes, as her partner he should have supported her not throw out the engagement right away
This is what i was thinking. The first two are obviously terrible, but jack seems both entitled and victim blamey. Like "i dont want to be your second choice" good luck finding someone who has never loved anyone before, bud. And "your friends were terrible and you didnt realize it so it must be your poor choices and not them hiding their awfulness from you." And then him being offended about op giving the gifts back. i personally think she dodged a bullet with all of them. It seems like op is going to be able to grow from this and im glad for them
@@laughableInflection exactly, it's ridiculous to expect you'll be someone's "first choice" when you're both close to your 30's...
Sarah reminded me of a former friend of mine. She would always hit me with the whiny "bUt, I cAn'T aFfOrD tO pAy fOr tHiS! CaN *yOu* pAy fOr ThIs? I PrOmIsE I'll PaY yOu BaCk! ((read: She never did))" line, even though she paid for her groceries, her house, her car, etc. ((keep that in mind))
Examples of the headache I put up with Former Friend:
We went out to a girl's day out lunch one day. She hits me with this line, I grunt and agree. She wins this round.
We went out to lunch, with her then boyfriend ((now *husband* ...yeah, I don't get it either...🤷)), she hits me with that line. Instead of me rolling over and agreeing to pay for it, her boyfriend glances at her with *the look* and tells her that *THEY'LL* pay for their own meal ((HALLELUJAH!!!!)). He then watches her as she excuses herself to the bathroom. He then looks at me, as I'm sipping my drink and comments:
"Does she do this *ALL* the time, with you?"
Me: YES!!!!
Him: It's no wonder you don't hang out with us any more....
Final nail in the coffin:
I had had enough. She had broken the straw over the camel's back. She'd pushed me too far. She...well, you get the idea ((my mom helped pull away the veil of her being my "best friend" on this whole debacle....)).
She invited me over to play video games and cook a pizza ((read: *MY* video games and *MY* pizza)). She gets so into the game that she blames *ME* for the pizza burning. I finally snap ((and I miiight've been a butthole here....)) :
Me: Give me back my game.
Her: W...wh...What?!
Me: GIVE. ME. BACK. MY. GAME. You ask me to come over and play games and cook the pizza. Fine. You know what really gets my goat, though? When we go out and you whine about you can't afford to pay for anything when you clearly can afford to pay your bills, pay for your car, pay for your groceries, etc.
Her: B...bu...but....
Her boyfriend ((yeah, he was there too and was equally annoyed with her)) : *LET. HER. FINISH* .
Me: I'm sick and tired of being your own personal ATM! You can easily pay for anything, but why not just have dear old (me) do it yourself, right?!
Her: B...but...
Me: Give me my game. I'm done. I'm going home.
Her: *literally whining now* But, (meeeeeeeeeee)....!!
It was at this point, I grabbed my game ((She was huffing, pouting, and stomping like a child...she was two years younger than me...do the math...)), and my gear and headed home. Soon as I hit the Book of Face, she'd sent me countless messages "apologizing" and begging me to come back. I blocked her after that. Huge weight off my chest.
Also, the one time I went over to hang out and she and her mom were there.
Me: Hello, (former friend's mom)!
FFM: Oh, hello, (me)! Did you come to visit (former friend)?
Me: Yes, ma'am. We're hanging out today...I think.
FFM: *glances over to ff, who, surprise surprise, is in the middle of a raid* FF. FF! (me) is here!
FF: *glued to game* Yeah yeah, in a second, Mom. ((Ho shi...I *NEVER* talk to my mom that way!))
FFM: *trying to be patient* FF. (me) is here to hang out.
FF: Yeah yeah... *obviously not paying attention*
Me: *shrinks back, knowing what was coming next*
FFM: *FF!!!! YOUR FRIEND IS HERE! LOG OFF THE GAME! *
FF: *drawn out whine like a child* But, moooooooommm! I'm in the middle of a raaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiddddd!
Who else thinks that either Matt has a crush on OP or Sarah suspected/worried that Matt has a crush on OP (or some combination of the two), and that Sarah, being ticked at being the sloppy seconds for Matt, arranged the whole 'split the two of them up thing?'. Matt, eager to save face and keep the sloppy seconds, went along with it and ran with it.
Gotta say, I also agree that OP dodged a bullet with Jack too. I hope OP finds a good therapist to help her work out her stuff and that OP moves on to happiness and to relationships that are supportive, loving, and caring in both directions, whether romantic, friendship, work, etc.
Yo op dodged a huge bullet with Jack. He’s an absolute jerk in this situation. Even if she did have a crush on Matt he was unavailable. So essentially Jack sounds like he thinks“if you’ve ever been interested in another man I don’t want you.”
Obviously Sarah and Matt were just as bad. It sucks that this turned into OP blaming herself for the whole situation.
No joke Op's girlfriend getting kidnapped for an arranged marriage is sounding like a movie
I really felt for OP in the second story. Back in my late teens- young adult stage I clung to unhealthy toxic relationships, mainly because people I thought were my friend didn't bother to talk to me after highschool and I felt an overwhelming feeling of loneliness. Unfortunately the "friend(s)" that stuck around were users and manipulaters that took my kindness for granted and played with my loyalty to them. I'm just glad OP is learning the way I had to learn, no friendships are better than toxic ones.
So few people I saw in the comments were talking about OP's Fiancé in the second story. Sarah and Matt are reprehensible people, but Jack isn't free of guilt either. The reveal in the last update of him wanting her to have kids, or commit to things on HIS timescale, not HERs, is manipulative as well, and his main reason for wanting to drop the engagement even IF Sarah and Matt were telling the truth is that she has poor judgment to have a best friend like that. EVERYONE has blind spots, no matter how good their judgment is, no matter how cautious they are. Judgment can also be impaired by our experiences growing up, which can lead us into friendships and relationships that are heavily one-sided. It's fair if you're not willing to deal with situations like that, HOWEVER, using that as the SOLE reason to end a relationship is proof you're not husband material. Why? That stuff can be worked on throughout a marriage. You can help them become more sound in their judgment. Marriage is a two way street, and you help each other GROW, it's not just some transaction "I make money, you make babies" bullcrap. It's a partnership in life, plain and simple, flaws and all.
The funny part in the second story is that the fiance telling OP that she has a bad judgement of people around her and he doesn't want this in his life. Because of his statement, OP realized that he also wasn't a good person for her and ended the relationship.
r/petty revenge
This just happened today, for my class of 5 people, I always come in first and claim my favorite seat and put my stuff down there. Right after I do that, as a kind gesture, I always hand out everyone’s binders to their desks before they get in. But as I put the binders down this girl who I’ll call L came in, pushed my stuff off the desk I was sitting in, and sat down. All this happened before the teacher came in so he couldn’t see. But this really nice girl, who I’ll call E, backed me up when I told the teacher what happened. But L and her friend convinced the teacher otherwise and said that she and her friend were there first, so I had to sit in the worst spot in class. But the thing is, I realized I still had L’s binder in my hand. So what did I do? I shoved it in my backpack. Later when she asked me for her binder, I said, “Oh, you haven’t seen it? Maybe your friend had, because she came in with u first and all!” She was fuming. I made sure to laugh a lot when she looked in the wrong places for it so she could double check over and over. E was hysterical. Then she told the teacher on me, but seeing that I had the binder, he realized that I was actually there first, so then he said, “FINE! I’ll put up a permanent seating chart if u put it back!” So, I put it back. Guess who gets their seat back? Me! And the best part? L gets where I sat, the worst seat in the class. Moral of the story: don’t touch my stuff!
the thing that pisses me off about the second op's story is her ex bf basically victim blamed her for being emotionally abused/manipulated
In story 2, there was so much to unpack there that it's best to throw away the entire suitcase, from Sarah being a control freak, to Matt enabling her and just not considering OP a friend anymore either over some imaginary crush, to the fiance being useless deadweight and believing a drunk idiot over the woman HE WAS ABOUT TO MARRY, just throw away the whole thing, it's not worth it, good on OP for walking it off