Sometimes Trump Looks At What He's Signing
Vložit
- čas přidán 27. 04. 2017
- As a wise man once said, "Sign, sealed, delivered." Not "Read, signed, sealed, delivered."
Subscribe To "The Late Show" Channel HERE: bit.ly/ColbertCZcams
For more content from "The Late Show with Stephen Colbert", click HERE: bit.ly/1AKISnR
Watch full episodes of "The Late Show" HERE: bit.ly/1Puei40
Like "The Late Show" on Facebook HERE: on. 1df139Y
Follow "The Late Show" on Twitter HERE: bit.ly/1dMzZzG
Follow "The Late Show" on Google+ HERE: bit.ly/1JlGgzw
Follow "The Late Show" on Instagram HERE: bit.ly/29wfREj
Follow "The Late Show" on Tumblr HERE: bit.ly/29DVvtR
Watch The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35 PM ET/10:35 PM CT. Only on CBS.
Get the CBS app for iPhone & iPad! Click HERE: bit.ly/12rLxge
Get new episodes of shows you love across devices the next day, stream live TV, and watch full seasons of CBS fan favorites anytime, anywhere with CBS All Access. Try it free! bit.ly/1OQA29B
---
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes. - Zábava
Someone please place his resignation before him. There should be a good chance he signs it without looking first!
As crazy as it seems, this is legitimately worth a shot.
Yes. As crazy as it seems, I'm serious about it.
Ditto - somebody wire a few millions to whomever normally places the documents before him. You can't tell me there isn't a millionaire out there willing to give it a shot?
Then all you have to do is make sure he also affirms that he knows what he's signing so that it would be a legally
sound document.
He will do that just so he can look like he knows what he's doing.
I sometimes watch the road when I'm driving.
I sometimes think of showering more than once a week.
DarkKitarist
If you don't work a job that requires you to exert yourself, showing once a week isn't the worst thing in the world.
Assuming, of course, that you don't get dirty.
Nooo... Just. No... I exercise every second day so. Not showering once a day is just ew :) i was being facetious:P
... but mostly I just plow through the pedestrians.
...which is why, with a small loan of $1 million I got a Mustang and wrapped all of it in gold (engine block, pistons, camshaft, etc).
It's getting harder and harder to say: it will be alright
Just want to point out that Bernie Sanders refused to go with the other senators because he knew it was just a PR stunt. The man is brilliant.
TheBaconPig yea but he is a socialist
Doesn't mean anything when the Senators themselves admitted they've learned less to nothing from it. @HKSATWOC DUH
a socialist with a 60% approval rating
+HKSATWOC DUH : He is a socialist who has no integrity ; any respect he might have had is gone.
How does he have no integrity. He is the most widely supported senator across the country. Dumbass... +John Johnson
First 100 days, accomplished nothing and a nuclear war at the door. Things can't go worse, right?
...right?
Felace Gianpiero
But Hillary might have sent more emails if she were elected!
Things will certainly get worse. There's the looming war in Korea that Stump's bloodlust and incompetence may well trigger. There's the worldwide financial crash all but certain to happen as Stump destroys the remaining restraints on banks gambling... Looked at another way, there is essentially zero chance things could get better. There isn't a single Trump policy to date that even remotely hints at the possibility.
Sorry.
What do you mean accomplished "nothing"? He's managed to sell off pretty much everything sellable to multinationals and foreign countries.
Accomplished nothing? a nuclear war at the door. Thats something.. right? i mean.. a terrible something.. but something.. It usually takes at least a little bit before all the other countries hate us again, he fast tracked us straight to war..
oh I have a feeling Trump is an all or nothing kinda guy - This is just the warm up act - Give him another 6 months and we''ll all be dead, in agony or living under ground.
Opening national monuments to drilling and mining. Wasn't that part of a Simpsons episode from like, 24 years ago? The one where some asshole tries to bribe a senator for the rights to drill Mt. Rushmore, causing Lisa to scrap her patriotic speech in favour of one calling out corruption? It's like the GOP guys re-watched that episode and thought "Hey, not a bad idea!"
If only a baby with a gun would do the world a favor...
Heinrich Agrippa recently, i watched the simpsons movie and parts of the movie depicted of what's actually happening. For instance, the head of the epa places 5 folders of how to destroy springfield and the president picks #3, WITHOUT EVEN READING WHAT'S INSIDE!!!
Heinrich Agrippa I have a feeling that Simpson's writers are actually time travelers.
+Jesse Hernandez
_"I was elected to lead, not to read."_
That said, Schwarzenegger as president would have been much, much more preferable to the current reality.
The one difference is that Ranier Wolfcastle COULD have read the contents of those folders, if he had chosen too...
#PeopleAreSaying #TrumpCantRead
Did he ever consider what's gonna happen if Canadians start boycotting all American products?
Well, no. That's crazy talk. "Considered." He doesn't like doing that.
YF Zhang It's practically even Stevens. Some of us are boycotting Justin Bieber.
YF Zhang Nothing's going to happen, we are only 36 million and represent nothing. This is exactly why we need to be less dependent on the US, which is an unreliable and a joke of a country. We need to seek new partnerships with Brazil, Mexico, China, EU, Russia, India etc.
YF Zhang Mexico would join in and punish us
Lamashtar I don't know. Russia has never threatened us with a trade war. In the future Canada and Russia will have to work together in the Arctic anyways. Canadians must stop being so nice and realize the US will not be always on our side.
South Park produced a funny-ass song called "Blame Canada"... and the President of the United States turned it into his trade agenda.
south park is art
it's a submission tool...
put in a 'f' in front of 'art', then add in 'joke', that's more realistic.
but I got to admit the movie had some pretty memorable songs XD
_"US commander not confident north korea will refrain from nuclear assault."_
*Oh, good. So glad the fuckwit-in-chief is playing brinksmanship.*
just send in Sheila on them!
Stephen, you're the wittiest, smartest and most satisfyingly biting host. So glad you've been surpassing Fallon for weeks and are going to break his ratings record. Nothing against Jimmy but it's great - and rare - to enjoy a hilarious monologue delivered by a grown up and also see guests like Kevin Spacey read a poem to Carol Burnett. It's really classy and what a smart viewer would hope to see. I loved attending a taping in January. So keep doing great and start writing your Emmy speech! You're gonna nail the hosting too. Can't wait!
You're splitting the monologue again...
De Libertatem they can plug in more ads and double their clicks that way
Your mistaken this for a serious news show, it's a satirical show what did you expect?
I can understand with networks CNN and FOX that you think this is serious but this really is a show for laughs and satire mate.
Pretty sure YT videos are worth more if their length exceeds 10 minutes
+Tripserpentine : comedy, entertainment, fake cnn news ; those are just the titles that they refer to themselves. The reality is they are propaganda platforms used by special interest groups ; mostly the groups connected to Hillary Clinton .
+Agent Fungus : just because you can't see her in the news currently, doesn't mean she is doing nothing . Hillary is still very involved in her evil deeds. I hope she kicks the bucket soon.
Please keep the monologues in one video!
what was the comment he said before the video started? is there a link?
Clarabelle Shepherd you got the link?
At least Barry waited to cash in AFTER his term, 45 is spending millions now with taxpayer money at Maralago!😂
I'm actually glad Barry is finally cashing in after leaving office. He was making peanuts whilst he was president when you compare it to the wealth that some members of the house accumulated from their financial backers - and whatever his plan is for his version of a presidential library will likely need a lot of cash to build.
So you guys are fine with Obama's corruption ?
Khouri AS It is peanuts for banking and industry to pay politicians after their term ended, for laws that often secured billions for them in the first place. It is corruption none the less, even when the payments are a few years after the legislation. The US is an oligarchy, not a democracy. The US is the empire of our days, and as all empires of the past it's main function is to increase it's sphere of influence (- every president since at least WW II has bombed another country, invaded one or went for regime change via the CIA), and protect the interests of it's own elites (- which is an euphemism for enrichment by exploitation of foreign resources.) And Trump will be no different. You might expect a point of overextension at some point, but usually the empire falls from within from all that moral corruption that went on for decades prior, that went with all the exploitation and expansion.
People who have not lived in mansions and gated communities their entire life :-
1) Hitler
2) Stalin
3) Saddam Hussein
4) Muammar Gaddafi
5) Gandhi
6) MLK
7) Jimmy Carter
8) John Davison Rockefeller
It really does not make sense to justify Obama's bribes from the banking industry.
Remember when the market crashed in 2008 due to wall street's criminal behavior ? And no one went to prison ? None of the "too big to fail" banks were broken up? Glass-steagall act was not implemented ?
This 400k is the payoff from wall street for all the favours Obama did for them.
Do you see President Jimmy Carter ever do shit like Obama? President Jimmy Carter is building houses for the homeless and spends his time in the Church.
All Obama does if blows bankers for cash just like the little prostitute he always was.
Resignation letter thing is fantastic
Has Trump ever said anything, anything at all, that is not dumb?
Kim ,,Wrong"
Nope
I believe that he once said "gagagoogoo", which was intelligent coming from him.
But that was at the tender age of 58.
Maria Hammarström 😂😂
Uhhhhhhh, give me a minute.......
I'm always looking forward to watching your monologue. We love you Stephen!
I miss Obama more and more
Then you should stay away from alcohol and aim better.
big mouth prick Why?
+Frank N. Stein Que?
asexual
on the bright side, it looks more interesting than ever. for the better or the worse.
Those years with obama was boring af.
Mitch McConnel is Elder Mutant Republican Turtle ©. Fighting progress in his own time.
I, for one, welcome our new automated snowblower overlords.
classic kent brockman
Daniel Gehring well someone has to
Trump can't Read so sometimes he just looks at paperwork but never skims side to side like how we do when reading ! Dose anyone truly understand WTF he is talking about EVER ?
Who's the creepy dude behind Trump at 5:20? I know one is Mike Pence who's the other guy? And why is he staring like that! I am not American but this is my favourite reality show now!! XD
Zinke
He's probably thing "you are so full of crap" the whole time
Thanks for the reply :)
And why does Everyone on Trump's Cabinet look like the "Death Eaters"? (Voldemort's army) 😆
JG ex dee so funny el oh el
+A O make that into a meme pls X'D
"A madman with nuclear weapons"
At first I thought you were talking about Trump
Our country is unPresidented. zing.
*Impeach Trump!*
Pence might be far worse. He's a religious fanatic who would love for "the handmaidens tale" to be real.
I think at this point, caring about him being a religious frantic is the least of our problems. When Trump is an utter embarrassment to the USA.
Can people stop saying Pence would be worse? He wouldn't be worse. Pence is a milquetoast Republican. He doesn't know how how to galvanize a massive base of support. Trump is the worse we can get because he doesn't know what he's doing and he has the temperament of a spoiled child.
zyrgle PLEASE
zyrgle here's my dream: that President Cheeto and each and every member of his filthy (rich) swamp gets arrested for treason for corruption and Russia ties, and we elect someone competent. America would be saved
Apologies to our children and future generations we once had a great nation. As a group we have totally screwed up!
knickell50 name the last president that wasn't morally corrupt, the great nation was a long time ago and even then it was built on lies and misguided opinions influenced by the government
NO argument from me! The rich have two parties, the dumbocraps and the repubes. We are not safe with either one! The people that work for a living need their own party but it has to come quick as we are an endangered species!
I would not argue that but that does not mean that we should not or can not hold this president accountable. Just because we didnt like bummer does not mean we can accept anything this moron comes up with.
lol America is the laughing stock of the world at this point XD
Behzad bz Along with GB and potentially even France depending on the election. Grab your hazmat suit, cause this is gonna get messy.
came for that whip in the thumbnail
stayed for that whip in the thumbnail
Sometimes I look at the road while driving.
I dont get how americans could have voted for this man, he cant even stop himself judgeing people for how they look
therese369 Trust me, we don't either.
ROFL Industries we didnt elect him either, he lost the popular vote by a lot
therese369 not all of the country didn’t vote for him, we want him out bad, this country is slowly turning NK I don’t recognize this country anymore
You don't smack a guitar, Steven...
omgzac You can smack a bass though
I know, but with that motion? Playing the guitar would be hyper sexy
If they mixed a letter of resignation in with some executive orders, not only would he blindly sign it, he'd probably hold it up for a photo afterward.
Colbert is ON FIRE today!
Canada would be honoured! Go for it Stephen! 😍
0:04 same here, Stephen
If trump touches our National Parks here in Utah, I'm gonna be so pissed off.
Something the audience never seems to understand is when Stephen sarcastically jokes but is really pleading for us to realize the gravity of the situation like say nuclear war on the horizon, you don't f**king start applauding like mindless robots. Stephen must realize their stupidity, then plays on it when he mocks the audience by clapping and saying "nuclear war, nuclear war."
M
Nah, it's more likely that the audience is applauding *him* but he gives the joke another spin by pretending they are cheering for the *subject* he's mocking.
@4:20 Does POTUS know he is on-air? He's acting like he's at a wedding reception. wth?!
How was copper wire invented? Two trumps fighting over a penny.
anon ymous That's not trump that's Jews
Now the two have fused. Jared is Jewish. I like my version better.
Omg!...love this Man!
4:35 Laugh flash lol Stephen 😂
Resignation letter in front of him...please God!
OMG is trump all he talks about? The record is broken.... IT'S SHATTERED!
Did anyone look at Obama's picture and think, yeah his ears are big.
Indeed. The secretary of the interior is not there to clear Trumps driveway from snow. The secretary of the interior is responsible for the decorating of the white house, you silly!
Zinke and Pence's reaction to Trump's comments = 😳😱😂😅🤷♂️
I hope the higher power above prevents anything from happening in the Pacific.trump is playing with fire.
What higher power above? The clouds? The Sun?
okay so I live in south korea. everything is all calm here :) no one is panicked. NK makes threats every spring (because SK and the US run joint military drills). that said, the situation is a bit different this time around. SK is in a slightly unstable political position right now with the impeachment of their president and the election is soon, so NK is acting up a bit more than usual. the lovely orange menace isn't helping things either :) but please don't stress yourself out about nuclear war~
Don't underestimate these guys. There are malignant narcissists running the US, Russia, NK, and China. There's a sociopath running the u.k. The list of malignant narcissists from history: Hitler, Stalin, Mosoulini, Saddam Hussein.
(To: Ryan Zinke) He's Gonna need to be Shoveling shit when Trump Starts Talking.
I love Pence's wicked grin on the snow shoveling bit.
He's got to go to a doctor and get a precipitous for that inflection in his pants.
Remember when Republicans were conservatives in the classic sense, and wanted to conserve national treasures and outdoor spaces for their children and ours?
Pepperidge Farms remembers.
I member...
Hahahaha, if you sleep on Colbert Report these days, you really are missing out!!!
Stephen playing the SLAP bass... ;-)
I still can't believe Donald Trump is the fucking president.
Trump you can keep governor lepage he's a horrible governor. He's made Maine an embarrassing place to live!!
Quite a ridiculous set of remarks by Trump whilst standing in front of a boxed flag of a fallen US patriot. Clearly not the setting for more of his idiocy.
Ramp up security. No reason to trust anyone’s judgement at this point.
* Searches Google for ColbertSpanksDatGuitar.gif *
These are starting to be not funny, I'm really starting to get scared about nuclear war
Resignation letter? LMAO YOU ARE THE BEST 😂 you the GOAT!
At 5:17 when that stone face security guard couldn't help but laugh about the snow shoveling! Hahaha
republicans are even saying trump is crazy and all trump hears is 'you're doing great."
When Trump is impeached and jailed in handcuffs along with all his staff, I will treat myself to a Pepsi
Lmfao! "Precipitous" puns are the sh!t
lol John at 2:15 at the background going "Sean, Little Sean" hahahaha
colbert
.
.
.
.
for president.
under a hundred view club :)
Sebastian Brito 87th - I've never been this early for anything.😏
Yes, please, somebody slip in the resignation letter in the Executive Order cover!!! Put it in fine print, he won't read it anyway.
Gotta get that paper!!
Hey, piano guy, stop yelling.
$400,000?? i guess the market value of presidents who can speak has gone up for some reason.
Gosh i love this Man Colbert in 2020
can we just impeach the whole administration?
Breath in. . . and breath out . . .
Breath in. . . and breath out . . .
Breath in. . . and breath out . . .
You are now breathing manually, enjoy :D
Jon is awesome
"cold bloooooded"!!
Is that spelled a-n-n-o-y-i-n-g?
Is that 400K from "them"? So much for that "us and them" moving speech Michelle!
I will pay someone to start slipping resignation letters infront of Trump.
Jon's voice in the background is annoying and distracting. Nothing against Jon.
Yunan Song gtfo, every video? If you want annoying, watch Higgins on Fallon's show. At least this guy can play music.
nothing against these comments but they are becoming annoying
I like him and think some of his interruptions are kinda funny, but he references "Cold Blooded" entirely too much.
i might be in the minority here but i like the 'coooold bloooded'
Lool! He is just really poor at trolling
Colbert i love you so much but John has GOT TO GO. Or at least shut his mic off when you're in a monologue. His commentary is retarted. His sing-talking is so annoying. I feel this way every single time i watch these (which i do almost every day.) Please. He's bad he makes you look bad.
Okay, the resignation letter bit made me chuckle.
I cannot contain myself the way pence is looking at trump at 5:18 like OMG I'm crying laughing
Jon is so annoying with his constant interuptions
He says that because he thinks Colbert is Truman Capote.
it comes to a point, every new video about Late Show with Colbert, I just scroll down to find people complaint about Jon Batiste. Did not disappoint!
He sounds like kissing asses
#banjonbatiste
Lol like barely anyone laughed at the Obama jokes even though they were pretty funny. I don't hate Trump jokes but it's refreshing to see jokes on both sides by someone although the audience surely doesn't.
its because the show follows a narrative .. 'trump is bad , obama, democrats good etc' .. and this was a sudden twist so the audience couldnt follow
omg the content of these late night shows right now is goldddd👌👌
I remember a better time before politics were a constant topic, was funny for a month or two but geez...
5:20 the blue tie in the back laughed omg
Stephen is an amazing and talented comedian. Jon is not. Jon says the same old phrases every single day, interrupting Stephen with pointless comments or late and sloppy piano riffs. Stephen and his show would be better off without Jon. There are many other band leaders who could be less annoying and more beneficial to the material and delivery. Nothing against Jon, I just wish he would learn to be quiet while Stephen is trying to do his piece. And based on the comments I see, I'm definitely not the only person who feels this way.
D2W Studios You are so not... I have started making it my task to scroll down and like all Shut Jon up comments. I do not like that chap. His voice grates on my nerves. Why does he talk when he has nothing funny to add is beyond me.
D2W Studios Dude. Stephen Colbert is the cringiest talk show host next to Jimmy Fallon! He panders too much, his jokes are to easy, they come from a mile away.
Clearly you haven't seen Seth Meyers. His jokes are VERY weak. Between him and Stephen I'd say Stephen takes the cake, easily. Besides, my comment is less about Stephen and more about Jon. Regardless of the strength of Colbert's material, Jon never does anything to benefit it, and in fact ruins some segments if you ask me. :)
D2W Studios i agree!! this comment is both accurate and savage, or dare i say...coLDBLOOOOODED
Lol that black guy needs to stop yelling
"Has anyone tried to put a letter of resignation in front of him? It's worth a shot." That was a brilliant line.
MsG
3:17 Colbert you magnificent bastard, I READ YOUR BOOK!
Obama excepting 400,000 from investment bankers... For a job well done.
Obama messed up badly & Hillary was worse. She had Donald Trump elected. Everyone needs to embrace Bernie Sanders.
John F Kennedy fuck Bernie Sanders
SANJAY MADIREDDI You don't seem to understand the implications, friend. Why do you think the Wall Street firm is giving him so much money for a speech?
SANJAY MADIREDDI Lol.. Did someone forget to take their psychiatric medication tonight? :)
It's weird how most people don't know that speeches are used to receive bribes. I'm not talking about Obama in specific, this is common practice.
I'm sorry but i always find jon batiste pretty annoying in the background!
4:30 hahahahaha It was epic! I love you Stephen :*
Michael Scott (The Office) and Donald Trump are brothers from another mother! The similarities are scary.....
This show is so cringy, he only talks about Trump, he doesn't give off the comedian vibe, and its clear that the black guy is there only because he's black but adds nothing to the show.
Stephen, you rock!!
3:39 the guy on the left is my spirit animal
" he was out there shoveling snow "
QUICK SOMEONE DRAFT THAT RESIGNATION LETTER
Keep it up Colbert, you're part of it.
3:25 Coooooooooold blooooooooded!
What in the world was that opening