A Vengeful Trump Strikes Out At His Enemies, Fires Vindman & Sondland During "Friday Night Massac…
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- čas přidán 9. 02. 2020
- On Friday, the President kicked off a post-acquittal purge of his administration, firing impeachment witnesses Amb. Gordon Sondland and Lt. Alexander Vindman. #Monologue #Comedy #Colbert
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes. - Zábava
You know it’s bad when Stephen has a 17-minute monologue
Yees
Monologue
In his defense it was two subjects. Oscar and revenge. Oh I forgot orange face...
I call that a gift.
@@couragekarnga8735 Amen!
war hero Vindman gets fired while racist Limbaugh gets a presidential medal...America is so f*ckd! Congrats Taika, NZ proud!
So true!
Boy, you really put things in perspective. 😔
bloody hell get out and VOTE
Don't forget he got fired by a draft dodger. All vets should be furious right now.
jcsacNZ "war hero" 😂😂 more like SNAKE. He went along with the bullshit Adam schiff made up in the house hearings and his brother also conveniently leaked part of john boltons book to the New York Times claiming Trump pressured Ukraine, even though zelenskyy said there was no pressure at all. Alex's brother at the NSC leaked that during the senate hearing as a last ditch effort to get witnesses in the senate and it failed miserably 😂 the only thing the democrats did in the impeachment hoax is expose biden and their own corruption.
Can I just say thank you to whoever at CBS decided they were going to stop breaking up the monologues into 4 different youtube clips.
+akowalz ~ Judging by past vacillations I wouldn't get too used to it, but, yes, it sure is nice not to have to hunt for the pieces and try to figure out their order. Even if you get the order right, the disruption can kill call-back jokes.
Love this
Use the play list
Stephen Colbert is a national treasure ......VOTE!
Its fantastic seeing all these stories of X-democrat voters leaving there party to join republicans. Alot of them feel as though the Democratic Party left them even though they grew up on democrats. It just had alot to do with basic facts and common sense. These smart American people left after the MANY lies being told about Trump they saw right through the BS with russia , mexicans , immigration , racism , completely false statements , hitler comparisons , ukraine the list never stops. Even more left the democrats when the media and late shows such as this one continued lying and falsely shaming Donald Trump excessively and constantly even Trump family was being targeted pathetic and disgraceful really . My only conclusion to why the left does this utter crap and still continues to this day is to create division amoung the people as well as brainwash the living hell outta the lefty liberals who will just not wake up. Or its a big distraction to whats really going on . Still think Trump is a crook you silly lefty liberal ?? well if Trumps a crook (which he isnt) Hillary Clinton is a master mind super villain of the century by far theres an entire universe difference between these two . But the dems do what they do best and thats accuse everyone else of the crimes they have already committed. How much longer will they get away with this tactic ? Rumour has it Hillary Clinton will be Bloombergs vice president talk about personal vendettas lmfao. By the way i identify as Jeffrey Epstein my pronouns are " I did not / Kill Myself " .Trump 2020 maga kag ;-).
@Kamal Rahman compared to a toilet bug i suppose ;-)
@vestiphobe No unfortunately for you and your wishingful thinking my brain functions are fine haha good one lol. Its ok vestiphobe your entitled to your opinion believe what ever u want . Your still frustrated over Hillary losing legitimately in 2016 i get it. The first female president will happen and it will be Ivanka Trump cant wait ;-).
Someone asked "Why do some British people not like Donald Trump?"
Nate White, an articulate and witty writer from England, wrote this magnificent response:
"A few things spring to mind.
Trump lacks certain qualities which the British traditionally esteem.
For instance, he has no class, no charm, no coolness, no credibility, no compassion, no wit, no warmth, no wisdom, no subtlety, no sensitivity, no self-awareness, no humility, no honour and no grace - all qualities, funnily enough, with which his predecessor Mr. Obama was generously blessed.
So for us, the stark contrast does rather throw Trump’s limitations into embarrassingly sharp relief.
Plus, we like a laugh. And while Trump may be laughable, he has never once said anything wry, witty or even faintly amusing - not once, ever.
I don’t say that rhetorically, I mean it quite literally: not once, not ever. And that fact is particularly disturbing to the British sensibility - for us, to lack humour is almost inhuman.
But with Trump, it’s a fact. He doesn’t even seem to understand what a joke is - his idea of a joke is a crass comment, an illiterate insult, a casual act of cruelty.
Trump is a troll. And like all trolls, he is never funny and he never laughs; he only crows or jeers.
And scarily, he doesn’t just talk in crude, witless insults - he actually thinks in them. His mind is a simple bot-like algorithm of petty prejudices and knee-jerk nastiness.
There is never any under-layer of irony, complexity, nuance or depth. It’s all surface.
Some Americans might see this as refreshingly upfront.
Well, we don’t. We see it as having no inner world, no soul.
And in Britain we traditionally side with David, not Goliath. All our heroes are plucky underdogs: Robin Hood, Dick Whittington, Oliver Twist.
Trump is neither plucky, nor an underdog. He is the exact opposite of that.
He’s not even a spoiled rich-boy, or a greedy fat-cat.
He’s more a fat white slug. A Jabba the Hutt of privilege.
And worse, he is that most unforgivable of all things to the British: a bully.
That is, except when he is among bullies; then he suddenly transforms into a snivelling sidekick instead.
There are unspoken rules to this stuff - the Queensberry rules of basic decency - and he breaks them all. He punches downwards - which a gentleman should, would, could never do - and every blow he aims is below the belt. He particularly likes to kick the vulnerable or voiceless - and he kicks them when they are down.
So the fact that a significant minority - perhaps a third - of Americans look at what he does, listen to what he says, and then think 'Yeah, he seems like my kind of guy’ is a matter of some confusion and no little distress to British people, given that:
* Americans are supposed to be nicer than us, and mostly are.
* You don't need a particularly keen eye for detail to spot a few flaws in the man.
This last point is what especially confuses and dismays British people, and many other people too; his faults seem pretty bloody hard to miss.
After all, it’s impossible to read a single tweet, or hear him speak a sentence or two, without staring deep into the abyss. He turns being artless into an art form; he is a Picasso of pettiness; a Shakespeare of shit. His faults are fractal: even his flaws have flaws, and so on ad infinitum.
God knows there have always been stupid people in the world, and plenty of nasty people too. But rarely has stupidity been so nasty, or nastiness so stupid.
He makes Nixon look trustworthy and George W look smart.
In fact, if Frankenstein decided to make a monster assembled entirely from human flaws - he would make a Trump.
And a remorseful Doctor Frankenstein would clutch out big clumpfuls of hair and scream in anguish:
'My God… what… have… I… created?
If being a twat was a TV show, Trump would be the boxed set."
If anyone has a tl:dr over that, they really missed out. That was beautifully said and someone I'm going to read more about. Thank you.
Amazingly astute on Trump🐽!
The most apt description!
Pretty long explanation when the last sentence is sufficient.
Could not have said it better...kudos to this writer.
Nothing says being anti-corruption like firing people who held you accountable.
Nothing says being anti-corruption like appointing your own daughter and son-in-law to key government positions.
Nothing says being anti-corruption like spending taxpayers money on trips to his own Businesses
It sounds exactly like something Kim Jong Un would do.
@Timothy McCaskey Can you provide a link?
But he was aquitted
Firing Vindman was revenge, firing his brother is a vendetta.
@m Suarez WTF!!!
You realize that this country is not Donald Trump's own and personal "business"?
You realize they're not hired by and work for Donald Trump but the American people?
The problem with you Trumpsters is, that you don't have any understanding of right & wrong and don't recognize even the most basic rules of law & democracy...
@m Suarez Wow! You really are clueless. Homeschooled or too stupid for school?
With voters like you I feel bad for America...😢
No wonder Trump said, he loves the uneducated...
This is not Trump's business you small minded rube. Stop spouting nonsense. You should not comment on what you clearly know nothing about
@m Suarez it's funny, trump support drops to nearly 0 once you factor in college education.
@@arealhuman826 Apart from STEM, american college and high school education is the laughing stock of the world.
While all over the world people fight for their right of free speech, you fight for the right to be censored, because feelings.
“Some nights I wake up screaming” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
A Purple Heart American hero kicked out by a draft dodger, we have hit a new low!! 🤯
You win the internet for the day
How the turns have tabled
Didn't Trump honored Rush Limburg, a racist and sexist with the medal of freedom a few days ago?
@DrMossydog If you think there haven't been assassinations and terrorism it's because you haven't been paying attention to the news. What do you call running a truck through a crowd of protesters or shooting up churches, etc.? That's terrorism, and you'll note that the vast majority of people who do that vote GOP (and now they vote Trump).
Wonder HOW low Trumptard IS going to go? I do? But as he's all mouth and not really smart enough to shut up. I am sure he will continue to surprise us being the stable genius that he claims to be. :/
Nothing says anti-corruption like giving your kids Govt jobs, bypassing security clearances, giving handouts to certain companies and making yourself richer from taxpayers.
Yeah and giving your entire salary to charity. LoL
Andrew Lailvaux just like when companies spend $4m to tell people how they donated $1m.
Anyone who believes that Trump dislikes corruption ought to be taken off of life support.
@Major Thought Ahead Sure sure. :) Did any of the democratic presidents ever donate theirs?
Andrew Lailvaux At least we know bone spurs can’t give it to his own charity now.
When that sign fell... priceless.
"I don't want it no more. GIVE ME ANOTHER KEYBOARD." freaking John 😂😂
Trump gave his voters something no one else would;
permission to be their worst selves.
That's why they will never abandon him.
"permission to be their worst selves"? I thought religion had already got that covered.
@@toadjiang7626 Cults are kind of like a religion.
@@toadjiang7626 Touché.
Hillary was right. They are a basket of deplorables.
@Suzy Q - baby I love you
Darth Vader just slumped his shoulders and sighed heavily while picking up the phone to release a statement distancing the Empire from the Trump Administration.
I barely knew the guy. He only worked for me for a very short time getting me coffee.
Your lack of faith in believing I do not work for the Trump Administration disturbs me...
@@lilsammich8252 don't u mean covfefe?
@@joanbowden7634 And hamberders of course.
Hey, at least Darth Vader had some class.
"One poll showed NH voters would prefer an extinction-level meteor event than another Trump administration." priceless
How did you arrive at that conclusion? It doesn't make sense.
They said it in the show.
Well NH, we give you May 2020. Did they have a genie in a magic lamp?
Another trump administration may be a meteor level extinction event.
I used to see this bumper sticker "Giant Meteor 2020" on a car in the neighborhood I used to live in.
@@lisahenry20 are we living in the same world?
2 more years of Biden and there won’t be a country..
Look around ya sunshine wake up ..
don't worry Stephen, I'm a cool 20-year-old, we know who you are.
lol
I am even younger.. 🤣👍👏
@@arnabchakraborty2593 oh acha!
That dude’s cardboard fell off right in the middle of his speech about technical errors is straight out of a comedy movie 🤣🤣🤣
Rin Y > the timing is just perfect for the issue. 😀😀😅
that sign was innocent. i wouldn't want to be associated with Iowa right now either
@@alexanderrussell7597 So true!
Anyone else think of those horrible nightmares of going to work/school/out & realize you are naked?
In the words of Michael Keaton in the movie 'Mr. Mom'; "Keep that sense of humour, it's critical!"
I think we're either living in the Matrix or Idiocracy.
The dems do NOT want to win an election ever again.
VOTE, Vote and tell ur friends. We need action Not Words...
Luckily democratic voters crowded in the big cities got smart this time and migrated into the swing states so they could vote there.
Considering Trump can do ANYTHING he wants to cheat the election as long as he says "I believe this is in the national interest"
Trump could literally block democratic states from being able to vote.. He could even cancel the election altogether = perfectly legal now.
Your Vote Is Your Voice!
As if voting made any difference when the system is rigged. Action is needed, people just seem to be sleeping on all of this corruption.
This will get Dems elrcted.... czcams.com/video/iybxu3G7jQo/video.html
Why not give Sanders a chance, nothing we have in the WH could ever be worse for the masses than Don J Trump! Sanders has intellect, decorum, and facts; that is a leg up on Trump!
Actually things are going well. It'd be suicide to elect Bernie. People will not risk it. People take risk when things aren't going well. When they are, they'll stick with what they have.
Umm, we honestly have no choice but to vote for whoever the democratic nominee is, whether it be Bloomberg, Warren or Sanders. Honestly we cant take any risks in letting Trump win another four years. All of the current democratic candidates are smart and compassionate, and literally anyone or anything would make a better president then Trump.
A vote for Trump is a vote for the rich... that's the thing I can't get over thing: his supporter base demographic.
@@hectorheck1353 au contraire, dear neighbor. Suicide would be to continue the insane clown shit storm tornado that is the trump presidency.
"But the economy?!?!?". It's gonna crash. And when it does, because we are running the same plays as when GW crashed the economy, except Trump can't use any of the tools that were available to Obama to haul us out because he's already using them to promote the economic sugar high that has his supporters so enthusiastically duped. Only Bernie's people centered policies can save us, because they are proven to do so. FDR ended the great depression using economic policies that put economic power back into the hands of the working class. Trump supporters just don't recognize that the far greater danger to the people of America isn't providing education and health care for the people but rather it's the socialism for the rich via corporations and the military that's bleeding us to death. The same factors that caused the Soviet Union to disintegrate are in play in the US right now and we need a leader who sees the danger and understands the solution. That's Bernie Sanders, consistent for 40 years and shaping the debate like no other politician possibly could.
because those that are yet undecided, AMAZINGLY, will not vote for Bernie! After all that is out there and they are still UNDECIDED! What does that tell you? The problem, as intended, is that those that are still undecided, give right wing propaganda the same as fact and truth! In all probability, criminal Trump will be re=elelected and things will go from bad to worse and there is a real possibility that criminal Trump will refuses to leave office and he will have the support of the Republcsan party and supported by the right wing propaganda media, and of course, PUTIN!
That pic of the space force rocket ship lifting...down?...was priceless.
WTF!!! What did the twin do?? Was Trump worried that Alexander would pretend to be his brother and sneak into the White House??
Right. Wtf
Stupid might think they are the same person in different clothes
Vindeman's brother had the temerity to......be related to someone The Donald had a tantrum about.
Yeah, he can't tell them apart. Two guys, same face.
Baby Donny, him verrry scared!!!!
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣
You know these firings were solely petty because Trump fired Vindman's brother, who never even testified.
We have a demented pumpkin for president!
Trump reveals his own insecurities by the way he acts - he knows he is not the big success he claimed to be, he knows he is not respected. To him firing these two people with no justification at all is "a great thing" because he gets to do to someone else what he personally fears: loss of position.
Vindman's brother didn't have nothing to do with anything, He did that to be a Asshole. Because he can & to hurt Lt Co Vindman.
Donny's so stupid, he probably can't tell which twin is which.
@@christhompson9486 So he just fired both😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
"somebody said" means "I just made up"
"believe it or not...." = do not under any circumstances believe it.
Wise
Another 4 years and he will be executing his dissenters and enemies.
He would if he could, and we all know it.
Not if we get him first
Jesus H.
No, he won't.
He'll do worse than cost the lives of a few folk, he will (and his budget this week shows this) gut the ACA, and medicaid and medicare support and leave the US in stupefyjng levels of future debt on the back of tax cuts to his cronies.
De*'s refuse to get their shit together
@@couragekarnga8735 100% he would have us ALL killed. I really believe Trump rounding us all up and gassing us
Stephen, you are the only person whose show gives me hope. I am scared for my children and grandchildren and America.
Let me make this simple, if in fact you're an American..real news is hard to find...when all you see is a rant of fake news, reported by fake news media, or Stephen colbert... speaking to just make a paycheck, reality check.... they do this to get payed, and you in return the ppl you'll get a twisted version of the truth...which they do often when they report or tell a story you get "their version"... and trump calls them out on it... Quite often, and that pisses them off... that's low key why they hate him, he calls them out on their bullshit, and they hate it.What news teams like CNN, and Stephen Colbert do, when what they say becomes so far from the actual truth... that ppl call the actual truth, false....that's how sad it really is... that's the crap the media or dumb asses like stephen Colbert feed the ppl..Trump's not who the FAKE NEWS media portrays him as... and it saddens him, and it does anger him.. when news teams post hate about him, twist his words, and try to frame him with totally false impeachment charges... then post breaking news trump mad after impeachment...ranting in anger, damn right... id be mad too, if put through the same presidential harrasment he's put through..he wants to be a president that helps America thrive... make better trade deals with other countries where we don't get completely ripped off...build infrastructure, including border Security, he puts in work...and all he gets in return is hate, and that saddens him...he don't show it, he shows it in a more of a angry approach when he's bothered by the medias bullshit... he calls them out on it and they say, oh trump mad... trump angry damn right.. id be mad too...if put through the consistent unneeded bullshit he's put through...all because news media, wanna make a story and get payed... even if that means twisting ppls words to their own way to make the cut..it really is sad.
@@mattjames4 hahahahahaha.
Matt James, Admit it trump came out swinging at anyone and everyone. Were talking republican nominees, handicapped people, gold star parents, war hero’s. He questioned the legitimacy of Obama’s presidency making claims that he admitted were not true and now when he gets a bite of what he’s been dishing you want to give a passionate plea about how unfair he’s being treated. IT’S TIME TO WAKE UP NOW YOU’RE LATE FOR REALITY!
@@mattjames4 Do you really believe all that? Damn. Damn.
@@AIPTutorials He must be on the Trump kool aid
Meteor 2020: just end it already
I think coranoviros heard your prayers.
Is there a C-pac for this meteor yet?
Where can I send my tax deductible contribution?
Donald JR 2024!
The Great Cthulhu, why choose the lesser evil when you can choose the greatest evil.
Hey now. There are several nations doing quite well. I prefer to pray for a virus that only kills those who have not experienced compassion or empathy in the last 30 days. Fair and just.
"Down, like a rocket ship"!!
PRICELESS
You ain't no rocket scientist, Trump, that's for sure!!!
they thought hitler would learn his lesson
Aye, right up to the day he had them executed.
..and he killed himself.
So we have that going for us.
They knew he would do something else but that's the only reasoning they had for enabling him.
@@barkYdarkATFB some say he fled and lived Argentina. Don't be surprised if Russia grants asylum or at least moves to Florida where his cortupt brown noser buddy has control.
@Sunday Kings he already moved to Florida, officially, last year.
He can’t live forever.
Much of the world is anticipating that demise.
.. because nothing screeches out your innocence in all caps like withholding evidence then retaliating against witnesses.
Tremendous waste and fraud.....Eric and Don Jr. Love it💜❤💙
"A chemical peel at Jiffy Lube..." Lost it completely....
Your wife maybe...has seen him there😀
@@svb91855 Well, that's crude, Silvia, and uncalled for.
ouch!
Mine was the comment about then he walked blindly into the wheat thresher? Shouldn't be funny but the delivery sold it!
*I LOVE DONALD TRUMP!!! I mean that, I'm NOT Joking!!!!*
Americans! Wake up! Your country needs you! Love, Canada
Presidential hopefuls should really be capable of dealing with questions without responding abusively.
Trump treats everyone like crap, well except the love of his life Putin.
@@jimyarbrough9935 yea thata why as soon as Trump took office he sent missile defense systems and weapons to Ukrain something Obummer wouldnt do in fear it would escalate tensions with Russia or maybe it was really because its the demoncraps that are in love with Putin.
@@brainwashingdetergent4128 It works better if you sprinkle some facts in with the lies. Gotta say your name is pretty apt, though, given the tripe you're selling.
@@jorfice prove ive lied
@@jorfice give any reason as to why ive lied
I lost it when he said "bobbing for french fries" 🤣🤣😭
Same!!😆
Stephen is getting ruthless and I’m here for it. 🇺🇸💙
Biden, if you are a true patriot - leave the campaign now. Give the other Democrats room to win!! Defeat Trump!
and campaign for the strongest contender with the DNC too & make sure they are on the same page!
Good idea, but it will not happen unfortunately. Biden is thirsty for power, like drug addicts looking for their next fix.
Whistleblower protections were disregarded and there must be hell to pay
There won't be any.
There won't be. Whistleblower retaliation is legal.
If only any laws mattered anymore. We're about 18 months away from The Purge at this point
Didn't the impeachment show laws don't matter anymore
@Rick Ton some people just don't have common sense
"Looks like he got a face peel at Jiffy Lube!!!" HAHAHAHAHA!!!🤣🤣🤣
the guy who’s founding “space force”‘s first thought when he thinks of something going down... is a rocket...
Only thing that went down 🚀 was HIS ACQUITTAL....👍
@@svb91855 Don't forget the 51 republican senators who went down on tRump to give him that acquittal.
Silvia Brown Still impeached...😏
m Suarez My victory? Pfft, you’re really overthinking the whole thing. Just stating facts...people are so adversarial for absolutely no reason. 🤣 I’m actually conservative, but I knew it would trigger SOMEBODY...thanks for the laugh keyboard warrior! 😬
Let’s make sure it’s pointed in the right direction.... 😂😂😂😂
"John Oliver is here" is actually another way to say "Merry Christmas" in my country.
Praise be. Let us give him our seed
When does LWT start up again?
And "Oh shit, it's that lazy British snob again" in ours
@@couragekarnga8735 I believe it starts next Sunday
@@couragekarnga8735 Sunday 16th
What trump did violated federal law.
And I really wish everyone including the newspapers would've pointed that out.
What difference would that make? He is the "Supreme Leader", above the law and who is going to stop him?
If noone will prosecute him than it does not matter.
The doj made his actions legal
@@TheOzthewiz
Because the vast majority of the public doesn't even know it's a crime.
They do not realize how often he is committing felonies while in the white house.
We all *should* have known about his felonies outside the WH in his history of prolific felony. He continues them there and has distorted or destroyed everything that was left of this country being great.
At this point, does it really matter. Nothing matters anymore. Sane Americans need to accept this as the new normal.
Get Him Stephen!!!!!! Thank You for keeping the truth relevant!!!! 👏👏✊✊✌️✌️
It’s a good thing he doesn’t know who the whistleblower is!
I just replied with the name, but google is likely to censor it in a second.
@@magicskyfairy69 lie.
@@magicskyfairy69 This is just pathetic.
Diann Whitaker VOTE the whole rotten gop out in 2020!!
@@Hannah-ks4mi it already happened. the comment was deleted. try it for yourself, his name is eric c_______a, last name sounds a lot like marshmellow. comment will be deleted if you post his name.
Howdy y'all!!
The liberal side of Texas is in the house
🙋🏽♀️💙
mercedes gomez 🙏🏼
GUYS GET OVER HERE WE FOUND A UNICORN!!
Liberal from North Carolina says how y'all doin?
@@cleverusername9369 We're slowly dying on the inside, but we're good. We're good..🙂🙃😭
That is despicable action of someone I wouldn't even compare to a child because children can learn from their mistakes. He just can't.
When Ivanka and Jr. are investigated then I'll believe in the DOJ.
Why did Hunter Biden make 83K per month working for Burisma (Ukrainian energy company), even though he knew nothing about energy, and as far as we can tell, did no actual work for them? And why did Joe Biden tell Ukraine that he would block their funds if they didn't fire the Ukrainian prosecutor who was investigating Burisma for corruption?
Why was Bernie so popular, but the DNC still picked Hillary as their nominee? Why are Nancy Pelosi, the Clintons, and Maxine Waters all fabulously wealthy, in spite of only being paid public servants' wages? Maybe your side is the corrupt one.
@@magicskyfairy69 look over there! Squirrel!
I thought fauxnews said he was making $50k ??? Which is it? Can't even keep the lies straight ha!
@@milliealmonte5758 it's 83K. but is that the relevant question here? I'm not sure I understand your claim, are you trying to say you don't think he worked for that company? And if you're not bothered by that, would you extend the same shrugging of the shoulders if you learned this was Don Jr, and not Hunter Biden?
www.foxnews.com/politics/hunter-biden-paid-80g-per-month-while-on-board-of-ukranian-gas-company-report
Noone should have faith in the DOJ.
I laughed through the whole monologue!🤣Thank you Stephen!
MUCH NEEDED!!
Imagine a president so vain he responds to pictures of him that doesn't make him look good.
Hard not to laugh!
I have yet to see a picture that makes him look good 🤮🤮
@@sapid77 good luck with that.
Angry Kittens that would keep him busy
You get to imagine it for four more years.
10 minutes before the monologue, a writer was like “FIND THE INTERN WHO LOOKS MOST LIKE BILLIE EILISH AND GET HER TO WARDROBE”
She was great.
FutureCloud I thought it was just cringe.
Anyone with a dead-eyed miserable face could have done that.
For a few seconds there I thought it was Pete Davidson.
Not really, but they could at least have raised awarenes regarding Tourette's Syndrom, while making fun of her condition ...
Whoever wrote the Mar-a-Gulago joke deserves a raise.
Its fantastic seeing all these stories of X-democrat voters leaving there party to join republicans. Alot of them feel as though the Democratic Party left them even though they grew up on democrats. It just had alot to do with basic facts and common sense. These smart American people left after the MANY lies being told about Trump they saw right through the BS with russia , mexicans , immigration , racism , completely false statements , hitler comparisons , ukraine the list never stops. Even more left the democrats when the media and late shows such as this one continued lying and falsely shaming Donald Trump excessively and constantly even Trump family was being targeted pathetic and disgraceful really . My only conclusion to why the left does this utter crap and still continues to this day is to create division amoung the people as well as brainwash the living hell outta the lefty liberals who will just not wake up. Or its a big distraction to whats really going on . Still think Trump is a crook you silly lefty liberal ?? well if Trumps a crook (which he isnt) Hillary Clinton is a master mind super villain of the century by far theres an entire universe difference between these two . But the dems do what they do best and thats accuse everyone else of the crimes they have already committed. How much longer will they get away with this tactic ? Rumour has it Hillary Clinton will be Bloombergs vice president talk about personal vendettas lmfao. By the way i identify as Jeffrey Epstein my pronouns are " I did not / Kill Myself " .Trump 2020 maga kag ;-).
@@MrPerfactto27
Do you even freaking remember Obama's Presidency?
Do you remember who his number one critic was, and who threw the most abuse at him, and lied the most about him during his time in office?
Birthgate ringing any bells? Too many golf weekends ringing any bells? The tan suit hysteria? Michelle's shoulders?
Any of it?
And you stable geniuses all line up and yell "Leave Our President Alone!!!"
No: he set the precedent. He made the bed.
He can damn well lie in the piss soaked sheets all night.
Lol , yep
@@Mystro84 Hahaha Obama was treated and praised about so many things like a god especially by the media whos leg are you trying to pull ? . There is a MASSIVE difference what planet are you from Mystro ? ;-) No : Trump fights back and you lefty liberal snowflakes cant handle it thats the truth. end of story.
@@MrPerfactto27 Nothing about your reply actually makes sense. Literally nothing. That frightens me.
You see, really, Obama's results were praised by the media. He was well received in the UK, by the UN, and was well liked by the leaders of the United States' allies. The media reported that. He stood up to hostile world leaders - North Korea, Russia, China - and the media reported that. He fought for environmental standards, and stood up to the rampant corporate greed that had been a growing concern for over three decades. The media reported that.
That's not praise. That's just relaying what happened.
He did things that needed to be done, and in many cases did them well, and the media reported that. That's just relaying *what happened*.
Trump has, in all cases, done the exact opposite, and the media has reported that. They have relayed what happened. He had alienated US allies, and cozied up to nations that are overly hostile to the United States' interests.
And for reporting that, which he himself has repeatedly confirmed, Trump has called the media liars, and fake news, and biased, and all the same things that Hitler called them - feel free to Google the word Lugenpresse and see what you find, if you think that's "another snowflake comparison to Hitler".
No, I've just familiarised myself with the basics of 20th century history. I figure if millions of people died for my freedoms the least I could do is understand the basic gist of their sacrifice.
You really, really don't.
At all. I mean not even a little, brother.
So I'm going I go back to my original thought:
Nothing about your reply actually makes sense. Literally nothing. That frightens me.
[Also, I actually said Trump was hyper critical of Obama and opened the door to his own criticism. I'm responding to what you seem to have read, not what I actually wrote.]
Also, did you seriously just say "I identify as Jeffrey Epstein"??? You're identifying as a known and convicted statutory rapist and child sexual predator?
Seek professional help.
Seriously.
6:12 that Fatal Fury Terry Bogard reference by John Batiste is well appreciated.
POWER WAVE! IT’S TIME TO GET SERIOUS! 😎
Saying the last one like that makes it sound more like a Mega Man X4 reference.
Suzan Collins need to learn her lesson this time
She won't learn her lesson until she is voted out of office in November 2020. Keeping her job was the only reason why she acquitted Trump in the first place.
Hopefully the people of Maine who previously voted for her have learned their lesson.
She didn't
That spineless stuttering coward needs to be voted out of office. That’s the only lesson that amoral appeaser will ever learn
They all need to learn their lesson in November.
Remember when Trump wanted to tell everybody that he just looks orange because of the eco-friendly light bulbs?
@Ivy Exactly! They believe anything.
Apparently the photographer had a dozen eco-friendly bulbs pointing at Trump’s face when he took that picture. It’s the only logical explanation since Trump couldn’t just be so stupid and vain he puts bronzer on his face with a trowel right?
Just admit it's a spray tan and move on. It's easier than changing the lie each time...
@@PitFriend1 He could easily have someone do it *well* and make it look better, but he either believes he's perfect and therefore can't do a bad job, or he's too paranoid to trust it to anyone else.
Trump is so dumb. Yes those bulb are tinted to give people a warm glow like candle light does, but not to make them look like they were attacked by the entire Ringling Clown College.
The joke about Harvey's parties was a killer! You gotta give me time to breath after something like that.
Damn this is the best segment i've ever seen with Colbert, well done.
Wow, a 17 minute monologue, love it!!
Colbert is definitely in the zone tonight, those Biden brain call-outs were hilarious 😆
17 minute Stephen Colbert monologue?
Thank you Stephen, I really needed this today.
Same
You sir deserve an Emmy award for this monologue. You are on fire Colbert.
Phoenix's speech was actually pretty heartbreaking. He is right about how entitled and disgusting we behave just to get the luxury of putting stuff that "tastes good" in our mouths.
Yes, but it's so much easier to make a joke about it rather than to look at ourselves and face truth.
@Odysseas G Interesting. I always thought that one's rights did not include fulfilling desires at expense of another.
Did you know that originally "meat" meant all food? Flesh was called flesh or referred to as the flesh of an animal or a bird or a fish.
Hey I respect Phoenix and most Vegans. (The non condescending ones) but Imma still eat Meat and not feel bad about it. I mean I don't drink Alcohol and look at those that do and think "those pathetic wretches."
@@GutzOverFear so am I. I like meat. I like milk and cheese too. But there's a difference between raising stock in a respectful way and mass producing and torturing animals just because I wanna make sure I have produce ready at all times, half of which I'm gonna throw away because I had it just in case. If people only bought and ate what they needed we wouldn't need to treat libing beings like a piece of clothing on a manufacturing line.
America, snap yourself out of complacency and hiding behind your cowardice.
Take to the streets. March against injustice. Revolutions that have made the world a better place, started with peaceful, non- cooperative movements. They toppled the mightiest of might.
Take to the street. Bring long lasting tolerance to injustice to an end.
This is a democracy, take it back. It is the only one you have!
Realistically the gop will be removed from power by votes in the November elections.
I know, I know. Boring old democracy and civic duty.
Not going to happen with electricity working. China, do me a favor..
Bring a guillotine to the march
@@telectronix1368 we can't count on that. We need to get so many people to vote blue that we can overcome any garbage they pull.
@@telectronix1368 they're not, when will you people understand this? It's like you're deeply asleep
Trump: get rid of that Vindman guy and get rid of that other guy who looks like him.
Yeah, because Trump has trouble telling them apart so he did the non-logical Trump thing and fired them both.
I doubt he realized there were two of them. A few hours after the first was escorted off the property he probably ran into the second and started screaming "I told you to fire him!" And everyone was too afraid to explain what twins are.
He's going to boast, he kept the family together. Trump claims he won't seperate families and never did. Spin baby spin...
8:23 the fact that his insult is weird is not the point. The point is that when asked a very basic and reasonable question about his main campaign talking point ("I can beat Trump"), Biden's response was to call the questioner a liar and insult her appearance.
*I can't believe Trump had that moment of absolute honesty: "We did... tremendous waste and fraud."*
He was talking about the previous administration. They put stacks of cash on a plane to give to terrorists. In what way has Trump wasted money?
Sharon Gamble the wall.
Oh, and Obama never gave money to terrorists. He returned money to a sovereign nation. That money was Iran’s to begin with.
@@Chunkboi That's not true. He flew tax payer's money in cash on a pallets to a terrorist nation into the hands of the terrorist leader. The people did not see a dime of the billions of dollars.
Sharon Gamble So why are you perpetuating that tired old lie?
@@Chunkboi The media is perpetuating the lie of Obama's innocence. He was not the pro-American president the media makes him out to be. He is a globalist.
Trump "Revenge is a dish best served stupid".
Thank-you Stephen...you are such a "word angel". 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
👏👏👏
Billie was clearly reacting to seeing herself on the screen for the umpteenth time.
So brilliant. “I always dreamed of firing twins”
10:19 The world eagerly anticipates the post-election Blue Wave Mega-Flushing of Crook-in-Chief and his Gang of Thieves.
"BLUE WAVE" THE "RED TIDE" OUT!
Reclaim The White House and Senate and keep the House!
Then the New Bluer Congress and President can work on impeaching Kavanaugh and replacing him with Garland!
Ha ha ha ha you democrats, still living that dream, sure ha ha ha 😆
That will be in 2024 then?
"Republicrat breaks down to...?"
Dont bet on it. November, hell on earth would break loose, and America gonna get the brunt of it🥺🥺🥺. Most of us are gonna get burnt to a crisp.
Billie's reaction looked more like she noticed herself on a monitor and was like, "Seriously? Again?" instead of a reaction to the actual performance.
Exactly. They just turned it into a bit.
She also has facial tics.
The Bible: "Love your enemies."
Trump: "What is love?"
"What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more..." 🎶♩🎶
Also Trump: "what is truth?"
@@LeftIsBest001 I am 1000% incapable of reading or hearing the phrase "what is love" without INSTANTLY playing that song in my head. It's like an unstoppable neuronal response.
@@LeftIsBest001 I love that song😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Left Is Best *”unless you’re spanking me with a magazine.”
When that sign fell I lost it!! If I was him I would have just resigned on the spot and walked out of the building.
17 minutes??? We've been blessed
That settles it, I’m voting for the extinction causing meteor
Giant Meteor 2020
"We have tremendous waste and tremendous fraud!"
15:41
We have the best fraud and the best wind. They're tremendous...
@@neildavies2276 well president was impeached with 0 evidence on the falls claims of adam shift so yeah fraud is tremendous
I'm not depressed either; I just shut all the windows and turned on the gas because I'm cold...
You have to laugh or you’d cry right!
Best monologue in a long while.
Gotta love the huge cheer for "extinction-causing meteor"
It's really time to dust those old 'Vote Cthulhu - because why vote for the lesser evil?' buttons...
... "tremendous waste and tremendous fraud are also the nicknames for Eric and Don Jr" 😉😅😅😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
What!?! You weren't born with a golden spoon.... I'm picking up jealousy...💚 It's okay you still count..so vote for TRUMP 2020!
@@svb91855 As soon as the Orange one stops using bronzer, drops about 75 lbs, stops using Twitter like a teenager, and learns how to speak and spell.
@@svb91855 Yo! Are you that same Silvia Brown: the fucking psychic?
Edit: Nope. I'm just high
:)
He didn’t win his Oscar pool, but the next year JON won an Oscar, oh my gosh, soul!!! ❤️🥳
Heaven... defined as a 17 minute, 13 second, Colbert monologue NOT SPLIT!!!!
Trump: "NATO is going down like a rocketship."
Putin: "Thank you, Mr. President."
In my world rocketships tend to go up.
@Håkan Bråkan Kråkan "mutual destruction" nuclear deterrent ... The french have 200+ nukes and I at this point wouldn't be surprised if the Germans have been building over these past 4 years and just didn't tell the USA. So EU does have it's own nukes just not 7000+ ... again you only need to destroy the world once ...
Trump is Putin's best investment!
What U.S. president has fought the destruction of NATO since the end of wwll???
“Maintain democracy or go to dictatorship: that is what is at stake in these elections”.
Mario Vargas Llosa
The US isn't a democracy.
Anton Back We are a democratic republic though.
@@balladstar Oligarchy!
Trump was elected. So there is that.
ClayDog Not by voters.
This was Colbert at his best. I was entertained.
This is an especially funny segment. 💜
That attachment to the podium falling shoulda been followed with "I quit".
... or... "Just shoot me."
Or he could have just laughed at the ridiculousness of it. I'm from Iowa and I did.
Followed by the 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' theme
DONT BE A LIBERAL STRING BEAN SLINKY JAWL HURR!!! BOP BOP!!! ALEX JONES OPEN JAWL SHEEPLES MIND!!! GO JETS!!!
Just mailed my FL Republican Primary Absentee Ballot voting for Bill Weld. Felt good to vote against Trump in my own party.
The Billie Eilish character should be in the audience for all future monologues.
What is it and why is it Green???
She's adorable! Still don't know who it is.
@@canadmexi Loved the bit. It's Melissa Villasenor
@@jordicouperus4657 omg I knew i recognized her ♥️♥️
George Washington : "I cannot tell a lie."
tRump : "I cannot tell the truth."
tRump voter : "I cannot tell the difference!"
@Eternal Dragon Well thanks E.D., cheers mate! 🍻🥂🍷🍷👍👍
Whats he lied about? Is he the only one thats been lying or are there others? Whos this guy schiff is he a liar? I think most dems are why are they so desperate that they spew hate speech toward Trump and his supporters? Why is it that they lay in wait hoping to catch him doing something impeachable and why do they think they are the only ones that can be in power when the cities and districts they represent are in terrible shape I think if you want something ruined put a democrat in charge of it theyll run it to the ground and blame someone else and raise your taxes to fix it but it just gets worse. And they know Trump is going to hang their asses cant you see the fear in there eyes pelosi schiff nadler schumer and others along with rinos and more they are scared to death and they should be watch and see Trump has exposed them for what they really are so there it is if im wrong im wrong but i dont think so.
@@ronburke
Dude, we're literally watching Right Wing fascism rising in our time. Look at literally anything Mussolini said or wrote, and then look at the GOP's policies, and the arguments made during the Impeachment hearings by Trump's defence. Then pick literally any random selection of Trump's own Tweets. I guarantee you'll see the problem.
Damn right they're terrified.
We should all be terrified.
@@Mystro84 i hear ya cant say that im terrified more pissed off than anything i do know that people are going to stand against their bullshit theyll have to use nukes to stop us
Thanks for making me laugh!
What makes them think a trump reelection isn't a metaphor for an extinction-causing meteor?!?
that Bible Book thing says the ''Beast'' that was granted both powers of state and church would be thrown down into an eternal lake of fire. Infamy has a way of burning for ever, look at your most recent vanquished despots.
🧐🤯
His majesty, King Spanky the Turd.
His Travesty, King McDonald Drumpf
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Love the Vader helmet-esque hair addition to Empire Donny. Then again, Don-Don is so busy proving himself the Ron Jeremy of presidents, someone else will have to point it out to him.
I’m a teen, and my mom and I watch you all the time! You’re our favorite comedian!
“All states are doing well. Thank you mr. President.”
Has Puerto Rico even recovered yet?
Shawn the Prawn > No. he’s still not satisfied with the answer to his question why Puerto Rico is being hit with a hurricane every year. Also why California always have forest fire. ..
Unfortunately, the standing structures left by hurricanes were being flattened by the series of earthquakes! Such as life for the poor puerto ricans!
It'a a shithole country and he cleans it up by throwing them paper towles and refusing them money!
Eddie Brown > Don’t have a black heart Eddie. Puerto Rico is a US protectorate Territory and it’s people are US citizens too!
@@alexanderrussell7597 You are correct! They are also U.S. Taxpayers!
They do have the 'token' Rep. in Congress, but without the ability to vote?
Or perhaps more importantly? This is not tRump's first rodeo with the citizens in Puerto Rico. It's a family tradition going back to the 1980's when he & Daddy were openly discriminating against their tenants in NYC.
Many people do not know that in addition to African Americans, they also were blatantly against people from Puerto Rico. That bit has always confused me. Why the vitriol toward an Island? Surrounded by water. Bigly water.
I'm sorry, what were we talking about again??? Cheerio!
"No quid pro quo, Clarice. I don't know Clarice, never met her, never had anything to do with her."
Adrian Colley > Is it Hannibal or Trump’s line?😂😂😂
@@alexanderrussell7597 I'm going with Dr. Lecter on this one! tRump would never be able to pronounce the name 'Clarice'! Hell, he can't even get 'Melanie's' name right! Soo many 'waterboys'! Bigly water. 🌊💨💨💨
Even Hannibal had a little class. At least he knew good wine. All Trump ever drinks is diet Coke.
I hate when media uses Billie as a spectacle of “the youth.” It’s dumb.
She's a brat.
Freaky lime green hair. A drap white kid trying to stand out.
I mean, theyre not wrong though. Shes only like 16, and is popular with her age group...so theres something about her that speaks to the youth
@@MrGtgguy She's 18
She’s a poser that only got famous bcuz of her brother
Tremendous waste and tremendous fraud : Apt description for modern day politicians' talent and their actions...
Okay time to give Stephen's comedy writers a raise. This was the funniest opening ever!!!!😂😆☺️
whoever does Trumps "bronzer" has the last laugh...!
He insists on doing his own makeup. Imported "Bronx colors"... 😂 Melania's MUA has denied having anything to do with his blending. For obvious reasons.
It's only because they can sell it to him in bulk. He has barrels of the stuff delivered to the white house back entrance on a weekly basis.
sandra olajide That person is a hero, the most effective member of The Resistance. 😃
Zeus Masterson ... I think you just gave me the last laugh... thanks!!
This is the way everyone wore their foundation in the 80s. Blending wasn't invented until '91.
I could take that meteor too, instead of another 4 years with Trump...
Its fantastic seeing all these stories of X-democrat voters leaving there party to join republicans. Alot of them feel as though the Democratic Party left them even though they grew up on democrats. It just had alot to do with basic facts and common sense. These smart American people left after the MANY lies being told about Trump they saw right through the BS with russia , mexicans , immigration , racism , completely false statements , hitler comparisons , ukraine the list never stops. Even more left the democrats when the media and late shows such as this one continued lying and falsely shaming Donald Trump excessively and constantly even Trump family was being targeted pathetic and disgraceful really . My only conclusion to why the left does this utter crap and still continues to this day is to create division amoung the people as well as brainwash the living hell outta the lefty liberals who will just not wake up. Or its a big distraction to whats really going on . Still think Trump is a crook you silly lefty liberal ?? well if Trumps a crook (which he isnt) Hillary Clinton is a master mind super villain of the century by far theres an entire universe difference between these two . But the dems do what they do best and thats accuse everyone else of the crimes they have already committed. How much longer will they get away with this tactic ? Rumour has it Hillary Clinton will be Bloombergs vice president talk about personal vendettas lmfao. By the way i identify as Jeffrey Epstein my pronouns are " I did not / Kill Myself " .Trump 2020 maga kag ;-).
Steve Miller try again, only use facts this time, not the debunked falsehoods you posted.
@@Chunkboi Chunkboi we have had this convo before havent we lol ??? you only want the facts to align with you ok but if they dont its some mystery .... or how about you give me some real facts ive got plenty ?? or are you just a troll boi..
Steve Miller you haven’t used any facts, though. You’re just a troll.
@@Chunkboi your like an annoying automated message that keeps saying the same shit over and over theres one fact chunk master ;-)
You've got to love Joaquin Phoenix. You can't find a more genuine guy, nor one more passionate about justice.
What becuase he makes you feel bad for drinking milk ? lmfao god one tryandrememberallthis ;-P . Its more like what fkn drugs is he on has he even snapped outta his role of the joker.