Juicy Book Alleges The Former First Family Got Extra Cozy With Secret Service Agents
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- čas přidán 5. 06. 2024
- According to a new book about the Secret Service, one or more members of the former First Family engaged in romantic relationships with the agents assigned to protect them, while the former president was known to request the firing of any agents he deemed overweight. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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If a yacht is so big it needs a support yacht, it's not a yacht anymore, it's a cruise ship.
As someone else said, it's not a cruise ship, poor people are allowed on cruise ships.
lets all hope it transforms into a Titanic
Its a cruise fleet
@@docdirtymrclean3610 it is half the size of the Titanic…as a personal vessel…
Also it’s not a cruise ship because they sail solo, it’s the Bezo Armada showing just how rich this guy is when his Navy dwarfs actual Navy’s.
@@ladeao1552 I mean, technically poor people will be allowed on Bezos' yacht. This is the Amazon guy. What, you think that boating staff's gonna make more than minimum wage? We should be surprised it isn't powered by rows of chained oarsmen.
I considered buying a second yacht to use as a helipad, but I didn't have a first yacht, and decided to use my money for food.
And you could have used that money to save up & purchase an island - priorities!
I use mine for housing and college.
I bought toilet paper........LOTS AND LOTS of toilet paper.😉😂
@@somethingwickedthiswaycome9694 You didn't buy food, but you bought toilet paper? 😕
Smart move!🤣 So do I
Gives a brand new meaning to SECRET SERVICE 😂😂😂
"Marginally Sentient Spray Tan" is 100% my favorite one yet. 🤣🤣🤣
@Li0nhunter365 🤣👋👋👋
@Li0nhunter365 How? How is it yours?
@@ceterisparibus8966 go to the part in the video where he mentions it and you'll see his name on the tweet
Saame
@@Meow_Zedong but did he have the talking stick? It only counts if he was holding thst stick
People really came up with some amazing alternative names for 45 didn't they! Love it!
Bravo!- Worst American EV-ER 💥💨
Oaf of Office is my favorite today
To this day, I can't look at a boat, even in a picture, without the voice in my head saying "Whose boat is this boat".... 😂😭
😃wow people still remember great words of our former President 😹
@@rajanlad it's at once sickening and hilarious. What a chop he was/is
Haha, me either! I bought the book for my dad. Also, when my cats put their feet under the door, I say “Whose foot is this foot?” 😂
We all float down here.
He said that? i must have missed that 1 but it does sound like something he would say.
Leo is really an amazing actor to be able to pull a spot-on impression of Seth Rogen like that.
Now we just need a sketch with the roles reversed.
I absolutely LOVE how every time he says one of the EX-president's code-names it's shown on the screen too 😆😎👍😏
People outside without masks? That’s been happening the entire time in FL 🤦♀️ I think face palms should be our new state tree
*"I think face palms should be our new state tree."* LMAO!!!!
💯
But how do I tell which ones of us have had vaccines and which ones are the maskholes?!
@@retriever19golden55 The people who’ve been vaccinated are much more likely to continue to wear their mask.
@@ktlemongrass5129 I'm going to keep wearing mine.
Just ... WOW! The job Leonardo did playing Seth Rogen was amazing. If there was an Oscar category for "best impersonation on a talk show", this would win, no contest.
Kudos to his makeup team for absolutely nailing that Rogen 5 o'clock shadow! 👏😅
He wasn't playing Seth Rogen, I think he was just playing himself.....but unrecognizable.
You're silly 😜
@@Lucky_Chase but funny....
"The Oaf Of Office"
Classic
I had to stop the video for a while after that one. I was laughing too hard. I had to calm.
🍊🤡 wants to be the next Pope, according to himself He will be the best Pope you have ever seen, no Pope in history will be any match for Pope Don the Con . When Pope don dies his son don jr will take over as Pope Don the Con the second.
It takes a special kind of person not to feel embarrassed about having a yacht so big it needs a yacht.
"Show me the Revenant!" That was priceless. 😄
Awefully nice of Leo to make an appearance just to promote his bro Seth. Super nice guy.
🤣🤣🤣 I literally cackled when he came on.
@@rosslynstandingwater4994 bbb
Seth looking good! - I mean Leo? Ohh I'm so confused!
Seth is so funny... this made my whole day lol
fr tho, Seth lost a lot of weight in the past year.
And here I thought it was just a rumor about Kevin McCarthy dressing up in a "White Marolyn Monroe Dress" to sing HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Thump
I love the way you think!😁 Hilarious- I can practically see it- lol 🏆❗️
Gosh, that Leo is such a sweet guy endorsing Seth's business....so humble.
When Stephen was talking slang all I could think " grandpa was off his meds "😄
I went and read the comments.
Now you know what young people sound like all day. 😄
An older person is actually a good test if something sounds weird. Let them say it and see if it still feels ok.
@@TheNinnyfee Some people make it sound cooler
I feel his kids embarrassment.
@@daanabbring5409 Nope. I'm a young person, born in 98, so I'm unfortunately a part of the oldest gen-z people. My spirit is far more millenial tho. The way Stephen spoke in this kids language is EXACTLY what I hear when you people talk like that. It never sounds cool. You just think it sounds cool, but that's how it goes for every new generation coming in.
As soon as gen-z becomes among the older generations, even when gen-z's become today's equivalent of todays millenials, you'll want to stab your ears after listening to how the new generation speaks. It's just how it goes. Even boomers were young once (you know.. that's how life works 🙃🙃🙃), and the older generations back then viewed boomers the exact same way us older people view gen-z's today.
I know I'm technically part of Gen-Z, but I'm not American, so I grew up more like a 90's kid than a early 2000's kid (by American standards considering media etc, what was new in America hadn't reached the rest of the world yet, and back when I was young, we didn't have all this social media and all, so my early 2000's looked more like America's 90's, since things like shows and technology came here later). So, I consider myself more of a millenial than gen-z. I have no clue when it comes to gen-z, but millenial stuff is my forte. Gen-z's are weird and you sound weird, and I'm just 23.
The goalie begs, "Please, I have a family!" 🤣🤣
The fact that Leonardo DiCaprio can act the hell out of a challenging role like a slimmed down Seth Rogen makes me hope for another Oscar next year. I really loved him in "The Martian".
Still think the bear deserved the Oscar in the Irreverant.
As long as Ricky Gervais does the opening I'll watch
@Charles Bronson Thank you for your service, Captain Obvious.
Matt Damon
Joe Rogan was on Martin??
Jeff Bezos yacht news sounds like an origin story for Dennis Hopper’s character in Waterworld.
The goalie begs "please i have children" 😂
Shamefully, I laughed way too hard at that joke.
@@bumgod75 Me too
5:36
Is that champagne in that glass, Cap'n, or is Jeff not allowing you a bathroom break either?
Seth Rogen appearing as Leo Dicaprio in a skit about Leo being instantly recognisable in a film described as him being unrecognisable - whilst simultaneously not looking like Seth Rogen at all until he smiled. Oh the irony 😂
“Oaf of Office” 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻😂😂😂😂😁
When you could almost single-handedly end world poverty while still living in the most exquisite luxury,
but you choose not to over and over, every day of your life, we're almost forced to conclude psychopathy.
_“What? My yacht needs a helicopter and my helicopter needs a another yacht and that yacht needs another helicopter, etc. etc._
_I don't get what's so hard to understand about that.”_
I don’t understand it either. When you have the power to do so much good but choose not to, wow. Doesn’t even treat his own workers well.
No
Well neither Jeff Bezos nor Elon Musk can end world hunger or poverty, even the top ten billionaires put together cannot do that, go learn some economics
@@vu1canesports927 they could make a huge difference.
@@gabrielekstamp9838 no, they can't, the only authority that can make difference is the Government, no individual with any amount of money can solve this
Emotional Support Yacht had me in stitches, good one
It was the photo of it that *really* had me losing it!😂
@@lindseyf2307 8
The laughter in the room w you just rocks. Great segments.
Shambling down the the ice 😂
I can imagine it's very unpleasant to hit bumps in the road if you're wearing a full diaper #DiaperDon
Winning comment! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
fluid back up to his brain.
Butt... at least he's wearing protection now.
I've already gotten both my shots, so watching so many being hesitant is insane
I got my 2nd Covid-19 vaccine shot today!!!! Yayyyyyyyyy!!
Bravo! 👍 👏 😀 Get mine in few days!
I get mine next week 🎉
Got mine couple weeks ago
Got mine last week. Whoohoo 👍🏻😊
How do you feel?
Pretty soon the top two employers in the US will be Amazon and Jeff Bezos' boat
Bennifer is back- nature is healing. That's a golden joke. But so close to home, and I'm Canadian.
"Oaf of Office"...that's a good one.
In the spray-tan's defense, nobody likes it when an obviously fat man looks thin when they're standing next to you.
👍🏼
"apologies mr. president, that's the closest thing we could get to fatboy slim"
One of the fattest presidents we’ve ever had doesn’t want fat people around him? What a loser.
@@mommas1276 😂😂
You win the internet.
God, Leo was super cute in Growing Pains. This was real. And the Gilbert Grape throw-away joke is priceless.
Leo does look so different in the Colbert interview. He looks like he just woke up. Plays a pretty convincing Seth Rogen, though.
That's how you know he's a good actor.
The Tangerine Dream is shallow when it comes to the physical appearance of people around him? Well I for one am SHOCKED.
It seems nuts to me. If you surround yourself with fat people, you'll look thinner. Either Trump never grasped that, or he honest-to-God thinks he's in great shape.
@@ValerieJNorse that probably shouldn't be ruled out :)
* faints dramatically *
@@ValerieJNorse Remember when Mr Burns was broke, and when he asked his lawyers, they all said he was doing great, out of fear? I'm pretty sure something like that happened here. That's what the Commander in Thief used to do, and that's why he swiftly replaced anyone who dared show any spine.
Thanks just reminded me of a '70's electronic band
That's just Leonardo DiCaprio plaing Seth Rogen playing Leonardo DiCaprio.
Truly a talented actor.
This is doing my head in... 🤯
So a guy, playing a guy disguised as another guy?
Isn't Rogain why Leo has fuller, thicker hair?
Leo deserves and Emmy for this appearance. He really changed his face and mannerisms. He was unrecognizable in this role.
He even got his hair done like seth Rogen.
When 'Nardo' showed his face I absolutely lost it!! 😂😂😂
You know someone's *really* rich when even their boat has its own butler.
* their boat has its own boat
Bezos needs to get married again, so his wife can divorce him, take a bunch of his money, and give it away to those who need it. Mackenzie Scott donated $6 billion to Covid relief last year.
A boatler?
Hàppy bírthdày sç. Have a. Ñíçé Dsu
*butler has his own butler.
every single vaxx-scene musical segment is straight up gold each and every time when the pandemic is over i need a full compilation of every single variation back to back i don't care if it'll be longer than the lord of the rings trilogy extended edition i will watch it. its too funny and glorious
I know. LSSC could probably sell the compilation to raise money for charity.
I like that your graphics department went the extra mile and put ice skates on Putin's horse. That's professionalism. 👍🏻
The "he who shall not be named" bit is genius. Please, please, keep that up.
As a full time Uber driver that joke was sublime 👌🏿
Lmao
I know this guy is the funniest person EVER!!!
I had to stop 1/3 of the way through!! Gotta change my pants!!!
I just watched Seth Rogen push his weed on the Late Show! Times are changing, yet there's still people in jail for cannabis use.
While its obviously unjust that people are still imprisoned for the use of cannabis in a country than will undoubtedly be using the tax profits from cannabis to fund public schools in 5 years, I think we can all agree that what we saw here was Leonardo DiCaprio pushing Seth Rogan's weed on a Late Show.
Black people*
White people can roll up on the cops armed to the teeth and all that happens is they get slapped on the wrist and maybe some Burger King.
@@InsanoRider777 I assume you mean that only black people are still in jail for possession of cannabis. Easy to say, and there's certainly a huge imbalance in arrests and consequences (hence the focus on systemic racism), but your belief needs proof and you won't find it ... things aren't that black and white.
I sincerely hope there's a review to commute those sentences during the next 4 years. Kamala's in favour of nationwide legalization, and if she and the rest of the staff don't convince Joe with a gummy or two, I'll be surprised.
Or the colour of their skin.
Don, Jr. loves a little bump. Steven, you and your writers are 🔥
Thank you, Stephen, for being the voice of sanity in this new wilderness, and for making me laugh at stuff that would otherwise terrify me. I watch every night!🤓😂
I can’t stop laughing at “Shaved Grimace”, that is so perfect! I can totally see the Dingdong Don under all that purple fuzz.
I really dug "Oaf of Office" and "Marginally Sentient Spray-Tan", myself!
Oh, the irony of Donnie wanting the fat guys off his detail... when so many wanted the rotund one out of his position...
I could totally see Trump in a “No Fat Chicks” T-shirt
The only true job for him and his kind are projectionists, eh?
@@J5L5M6 Yeah republicans have been sticking fingers in "both eyes" for years to endorse the madness!
The rotund one!! 😂🤣
"I wish I could get a medical procedure down here."
4:24 I still so deeply appreciate Stephen refusing to say the former guy's name. I'm so fucking sick of that #OrangeBlobfish
you mean President Donald J. Trump
@@gag928 Now you have to garggle that poop taste out of your mouth. Yeach!!!
@@noadlor # bittermuch #cantmoveon #let it go
@@gag928 Haha. What do I have to be bitter about? Who even does hashtags anymore? Haha.
I love how Seth Rogan looks like Hyde from that 70s show selling his pot wares
Jeff bezos is a anger inducing reminder of how wealth is completely wasted on those who ruthlessly pursue it.
It's much worse if you've ever worked at Amazon.
not 'wealth" - disgustingly obscene un-necessarily greedy UBER WEALTH.
i got no problem with moderate millionaires but these billionaires are literally fucking up life for the rest of us (like the Sacklers)...
of course i dont buy from Amazon, so i dont help support Bezos's obscene greed.
Half a billion dollars is the price tag for a Stealth Bomber. Shameless ego-stroking. Half a billion could do a lot of good for humanity. What a tool.
Don't get angry. Just tax him.
Eat Jeff Beanzos
The Vax-Scene song is perfect for loading and firing up a bowl.
Ugh, it's still not legal here in GA. Id vote for our republican governor next term if he'd just legalize weed!
Watch the 1942 USDA film, Hemp For Victory.
The legalization of "Marihuana" saved America during World War II.
I’ll second that!
A backwood 💣
Thanks for the useful tip!
Wow. That was hilarious. Love a Seth Rogan drop-in
"I don't think Leonardo DiCaprio could ever be unrecognizable!"
*prosopagnosia has entered the chat*
Know what Jeff Bezos’ boat and his employees’ delivery vans have in common? They both have a poop deck.
Oh, that was a good one.😆
stop stealing jokes
@@heyheytaytay I'll send you $20 AND come out to my parents if you can find this joke anywhere else. Which you won't, because I came up with it myself, but I've been looking for a reason to come clean so be my guest!
Only one has seamen though.
@@old-fashionedcoughypot that's funny & ew at the same time...
We don’t have a vaccine shortage in Australia but we do have a covid shortage
I hope we keep it that way.
Scomo certainly hasn't excelled in the vaccine rollout! There's a touch of complacency creeping in & it only takes a few indian variant cases getting out into the community to change our situation with such low vaccinations so far.
@@katl6426 I've never really had much faith in ScoMo in general but you'd think they'd be more dedicated to getting this sorted - it's not like it's the nbn rollout where they don't have to give a crap.
@@moniqm3607 totally agree.
have you guys come up with aussie slang for vaccine yet? vaxo? vaxie?
When life returns to 'normal,' I'd love a video compilation of the Vax-Scene songs.
I love the “bathroom mirror every day”
Its a lot more difficult to get vaccinated here in Ontario. But I finally managed a booking, and got my first dose this morning. Never been happier to have a sore arm
I'm in BC. I'm registered, but still don't have a date booked.
Same in Alberta. I’ve been waiting and got exposed last Thursday so now I’m just sitting here waiting to get sick
@@vinnievee5710 stay safe! I can't imagine how intense things must be in AB, sending good thoughts from BC
@@TheMochaMonster yeah we have a major outbreak here because the oil companies won’t shut down work up north and all the workers in the camps are getting it. So far I feel not too bad but I’m only 6 days into quarantine.
@@vinnievee5710 I wish you luck and hope you get through it safely.
I didn't recognize Leo... He was sitting next to a woman over 23.
It might've been his mother in law, it was mother's day after all.
Leo is such a good person, I really hope that Seth guy's business takes off
Captain Orange never even used his multi-million dollar yacht because he hates water - he just kept it moored near his offshore casinos for show.
Or a quick getaway!
Getting my second shot in a few days!🥳
Getting my 2nd Saturday woot.
Same. Cant wait to let Bill know where I am 😉
Pre-medicate with Ibuprofen if you can! That second shot can be a bit of a doozy.
Me too! Tomorrow! WAZZZAAA
I'm 78 and sailed through both shots!
“Who hasn’t needed a separate yacht for his helicopter?” um… every Bond villain?
True Bond villains turned those into the same thing a long time ago.
His and hers, she operates the helicopter.
"Pierce! You've had _three_ flu-shots! That's for the day-care center!"
*_"I'll be a living goooooooooooooood!"_*
Wow Leo even sounds so much like Seth Rohan! What amazing acting skills.
Crazy how that lady survived 6 vaccination shots. Last time I had that many shots, I lost my pet tiger in Houston. Speaking of, has anyone see my pet tiger roaming around?
😆😂
Your tiger drove itself off in a van. To Costa Rica via Mexico.
@@sumeetsandhu9713 Badoom crash 😂
69th like. Yey, it's the !little things man.
Too soon.
Trump said about overweight Secret Service agents, “How are they going to protect me and my family if they can't run down the street?"
Well shit, by that logic, how was Trump going to protect our country if he couldn’t walk down a ramp??
Or tell the truth? Or stop himself from stealing, cheating and betraying democracy?
Illogical, one type of protection requires physical and the other is mental, so don’t conflate. Hows Biden supposed to protect us if he can even walk up the stairs lol
@@gigglemaniarunninwild2207 The real question is actually who hasn't tripped going up or down the stairs vs who has nearly fallen walking down a ramp?
Many people in my family have broken feet or legs walking down stairs. I've nearly fallen walking up the stairs last month. Stuff happens.
👌
@@gigglemaniarunninwild2207 or when trump forgot how to close an umbrella
As someone in a country who has limited access to the vaccines, it's killing me that there are people who have access but won't take it.
Bloody made me choke on my cigarette when Leo came out. Hahaha
I love the guy with that big hardy laugh! He makes me laugh harder when I hear him!
That’s his producer his laugh is what keep Stephen from jumping off the building
I love it so much more than a studio audience!
Me too!
Hearty
Hearty?
Or like Oliver Norvell Hardy? ??
Here are some ways to connect Leonardo Dicaprio to Kevin Bacon:
1. Leonardo Dicaprio was in Catch me if You Can with Tom Hanks, who was in Apollo 13 with Kevin Bacon.
2. Leonardo Dicaprio was in Titanic with Kate Winslet, who was in Steve Jobs with Michael Fassbender, who was in X-Men: First Class with Kevin Bacon.
3. Leonardo Dicaprio was in The Wolf of Wall Street with Margot Robbie, who was in Suicide Squad with Will Smith, who was in Men in Black with Tommy Lee Jones, who was in JFK with Kevin Bacon.
There might be others, but those are just 3.
But can you connect the guy from footloose to Kevin Bacon?
@@Ertwin123 The guy in Footloose is Kevin Bacon. Done.
@@Mrmoviefan123 But he never co-starred with Kevin Bacon.
@@Ertwin123 🤣
@@Ertwin123 he did, in fact. He played both Theo and Stetler in "You Should Have Left", thereby co-starring with himself.
Show me the revenant! Lmao 🤣 call me the nardo 🤣
OH MY GOD! I've NEVER laughed so hard at colbert before! SETH!! HAHAHAHA!!!!! IN CHARACTER LIKE IT'S NOTHING! TAKE MY MONEY!
Vegas city bus driver here ... we will soon be offering free rides to get back to work!!!! I’m ok with that!!!
dope
Cool!
Seth Rogen has lost some weight. And the touch of gray looks good on him.
You must be confused, that's Leonardo DiCaprio
@@samstewart7930 yea. He is the nardo. He said it multiple times.
was about to write this. Dude loooks good
Seth Rogan Unrecognizable on a Late Show
@@natdatil6830 that sounds like seth rogen's bald republican cousin lol
1:48 as a gen z, I am both dying from laughter and dying on the inside
Colbert still has a show. Wow that’s amazing I had no idea. Good for him!
I never knew I needed a Leonardo/ Seth buddy cop film until now
Leo does a really good Seth Rogen, i'm impressed!
All I can say is this, if Jeff Bezos starts loading two of every animal on his yacht, I am moving to higher ground in Nepal.
Ahaha
😂😂😂
"Shaved Grimace" got me.
When Seth came on I spat out my tea! 😂😂
The Nardo...
SAME
🍵
"SEE YOU AT THE SHOW TRIALS, JEFF!" best line ever.
Like a penguin with gout. 😂 I have gout so the mental image 😂😂
I will be hovering over that yacht with my attack chopper until he emerges.
Imagine that buying a $500 million yacht to Bezos is like buying a tank of gas to the rest of us
oh my god. that tank of gas is mucchhh more expensive to me than the yacht is to bezos
It's one fourth of one percent of his total wealth.
@@lnsflare1 That would make me nauseous if I weren't so high right now.
@@lnsflare1 i thought i heard one tenth of a percent somewhere. But yeah, either way, nothing at all.
Yeah, about 0.25%. (Ballparked in my head.) Pukey McBarferson
Leo does a great Vince Vaughn impression!! I didn't even know it was him!!
It's nearly impossible for me to keep a straight face when this guy cracks his insanely jokes and wisecracks.
Is no one going to talk about farmer moving French- American Border.? That was Funny
"Show Me the Revenant" is either the name of a much more interesting film or what the Academy members shouted to their service staff on their yachts before they saw the film for the first time.
What's even more confusing than the confusion about that Leonardo DiCaprio photo is why people *simp* for billionaires like Beezos
Beelzebos*
Amen. Boot licking fascist fan boys that are economically and mathematically illiterate.
@@radagastbrown9001 So, about a third of the US currently?
I distinctly remember him in Saved by the Bell. He stood out even back then.
"Shaved Grimace" may be my new favorite term for him. Although "Twitler" is hard to beat😀
All you do is jam?! I'm so jelly.
I'm preserves.
@@id10t98 eh. Jelly can be short for jealous. What's preserves short for?
@@Avrysatos Jam
Underrated comment.
@@Avrysatos a place, or sphere of activity.
Seth Rogan... I mean Leonardo DiCaprio is one of my favorite actors of all time! What a stand up guy!
"Roll up your sleeves and show off your pecs"????
Is the shot going into the arm or into the chest? lolol
Was a little nervous when he said "my next guest is former first lady...." Oh, that one. wheauh