Sketchy Behavior Lands Bill Gates In A Segment With Matt Gaetz
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- čas přidán 16. 05. 2021
- Stories of questionable behavior by Bill Gates are coming to light in the wake of his divorce announcement, landing the Microsoft founder in the same Late Show monologue segment as Florida congressman Matt Gaetz, who had a very bad day Monday when his associate pleaded guilty to sex trafficking charges and agreed to cooperate with prosecutors. #Colbert #Monologue #BillGates
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“Please continue to give generously, we are just months away from finding a cause” 😂😂
Got my 2nd shot a month ago. Went to a restaurant for the first time in a year. Outdoors on the patio. Baby steps.
My second shot was earlier today.
Had mine well over a month ago.
I'm still wearing a mask in public places indoors, though.
I know what you mean. Got my first shot, have to wait for a month or so for my 2nd shot, I am in Canada. But think I will still wearing my mask indoor in public space. With all the variance and antiVaxxers around, I feel a bit protected with my masks on. Besides, it doesn’t bother me wearing a mask.
@@Lucius1958 Me, too. It's such a minor inconvenience to keep wearing a mask. I'm very happy that I'm not likely to have a severe version of the virus. I'm also happy to keep protecting others from possibly catching it from me.
People still wearing masks now is an easy way to know someone is empathetic.
@@jamesgabrielson473 i agree! Refreshing to see so many reasonable comments!
"F@ck You, We Love Each Other"
Best wedding vows ever.
Or... "Love You, We Fuck Each Other!"
Last week, I saw my best friend for the first time in 16 months. I got to finally meet her father, who has cancer, and many family members. We spent a day holding hands, looking at each other, and laughing.
It’s the best day I’ve head in 2 years.
I brought Prosecco and we toasted. Thank you, science.
That is so damn beautiful and awesome and glorious and ---- I don't have enough happy words for you!!!
Sounds like a bit more than a best friend ;)
Beautiful! 😊💕👍💞
Lol you could’ve done that the whole time, you clown. You just wasted 16 months for no reason 😂
@@Jayscuba high risk. I’d rather stay alive, and I trust doctors, not commenters.
Nice to finally meet the guy laughing off camera. He and Evie bring us so much joy
I “awed” out loud when they hugged ❤️
This show is so much better without the big live audience. The timing of the jokes is so much better. Please keep it this way.
I may have a little bit of a tear in my eye.... I'm also terrified though. This inner battle between my germophobia & social anxiety vs missing human contact will certaily be interesting...
@@creativedesignation7880 saaaaaame.
@@creativedesignation7880 omg, as someone who already had anxiety and OCD (not like I need the pens in a specific order, but like I need to wash my hand again after washing my hands because I touched the bathroom door handle and that lady just sneezed), covid has only reinforced my anxiety. 😭
Holy shit, someone seriously rented a sky banner JUST to make Matt Gaetz feel those walls closing in, i'm fucking dying.
dumb f.. probably thought they were talking about the app...
The real hero is the guy flying the banner. Max trolling!
Gotta love the banner just for little mattie💗
no doubt a political opponent. who else would give af
I cant wait. You "know what I mean"
Ol Greenberg is doing 12 years.
Our Finnish cousin wrote to us saying, "Yes, soon we will be able to not worry about social distancing and we can get back to our normal 10 feet."
I can't believe he missed the opportunity to say "The Vaxstreet boys"
This has got to be on a future Vax-Scene segment!!
Thanks yall
Oh it’s coming…😂
Not going to lie, I'm going to miss social distancing. Maybe not with family members, but I'm really ok with random people not standing so damn close to me, especially the supermarket where someone standing in line behind me close enough to me to give me a reacharound while talking on their phone is considered "ok", #personalspace
I've run into some in the pandemic who won't respect the distancing guidelines and I started using my cart as a way to force at least that much distance ( I stand back from the person ahead of me and in front of the cart). It helped for me. Good luck! 😕
I know. I took my daughter to buy shoes and the guy behind me in line kept inching closer and closer and I’m like “hurry up and let me pay, I need to get away from this creep.” Lol. And hugs. God, don’t make me give hugs to random people again. If you aren’t in love with me, there is no reason for you to touch me. I think I’ll put that on a shirt. ;D
@@heatherm2140 I do the exact same thing. Cart as social distancer
Yes!!!!! That. And "having" to kiss people at receptions, birthday parties etc. just because it is considered the "norm". Even if its "just" on the cheeks. I have always resented that.... Yuk...😬. Always tried to keep them of, which made me feel weird in itself cause I "broke" the usual etiquette.... In that aspect, Covid made social interaction soooo much simpler. Plus since the mask wearing I havent had a single cold or flu....
@@AlloftheGoodNamesAreTaken "if you aren't in love with me, there's no reason to touch me". Thàt is exáctly how I feel about all these touchy/kissy social interaction acts we call normal. 😂😉
If Colbert doesn’t make a VaxScene compilation album then what’s the point. These are all bangers.
Song # 9 on the album 💿 is Vaxx Shots by LVAO but the chart topper is the holiday showstopper It’s Vaccination Time… we let in shots when we’re banishing pain, and in our world of COVID-19, you can spread your germs far and wide… lol
Banger, that a Zoomer word.
I feel like I'm the only one here who absolutely hates these intros. I always skip them asap.
@@Chris.Pontius youre not the only one. As usual they keep running this gimmick too long ....
@@balung ok cheuger
CDC : "We need Americans to be honest with themselves."
America "Pizza is a vegetable!"
Typical America...sometimes partially true, usually covered in cheese.
Pizza isn’t a vegetable you uncultured swine. Mac and cheese is.
@@kaylizzie7890. Meatballs are a vegetable.
You know you're an introvert when nothing in your life has changed from a 15-month pandemic. Not your shopping, not your social, not your food, not your internet usage, not your income, not your sleeping habits. That's an introvert lol. (btw, yes I do follow all of the CDC guidelines)
I'm obviously an introvert! 😄
Yay! Since I don't love most people, this pandemic has been a gift!
most peoples last 15 months have been my last 5 years (minus the mask thing)
Yep! I am an introvert and proud of it! Just don’t make me go out or make a phone call.
What pandemic?
“Be honest with themselves”
Oh lort. We’re doomed is right
Not to mention the fact that the CDC don't seem to know how masks work. They don't protect you from *others* , They protect others from *you* . And with fully vaccinated people still able to catch and spread the plague; It's just a matter of time before it comes back with a vengeance and we are back at square 1, with our current vaccine being useless, and everyone who has already been vaccinated needing to get it again. The CDC needs to go back to 'Genetic Evolution 101'; And this time not sleep through the class.
@Buck Rodgers 🦅🦉🦅Thank U 💙🙏💙 for your explanation. U put into words exactly what I was thinking and understanding about this. Me= not being sick all winter from flu cold or influenza demonstrates the miracle of mask wearing ( yay not getting sick) and hand washing after being in public💙🙏💙Thanks Again💙🌎💙🌍💙🌏💙 plus having extremely vulnerable family members is another reason 2 continue with masks even with both vax’s 💙🙏💙🦋🌸🦋🙋♀️
NEVER, EVER rely on dumb southerners to do the right thing.
That vax-scene was great!!!!!!😂😂😂
Agreed fav so far 😂
@@KdubbleYT Then fast forward. 🙄
I already know I'm gonna have that song stuck in my head for the rest of the week!
Hands down, the best thus far!
75% is terrible. Most countries have 80- 90% of their populations either getting or waiting to get the vaccine. If a quarter of the population isn't vaccinated A LOT of tourists will strike USA off their travel plans and Covid will circulate for years.
Hugged my mom and Nana for the first time in over a year. There were tears.
That's you fault you fool. My state never closed and no mask mandate. We trust people to make their own decisions. No fear porn.
Wow lefties really are crazy as hell!
I got to hug my aunt recently, I was happy just to see her okay :)
You’re a clown.
🤦♀️
"what? did you think it was gonna be a joke? we LOVE each other!" i laughed so hard
Does anyone else float from Seth’s monologue, to Kimmels monologue, and top it off with Colberts monologue nightly?
I usually skip Kimmel
don't you think that Colbert is looking so much better since Donald....Trump aged him
@@vsedai You've just won 1st place in the comment section!
You forgot John Oliver. Don't they all belong to the same club?
@Marc Kloosterman, I usually go from Trevor Noah, to Seth, to LSSC
Love “I Wanna Vax You Up”, and I’m still not quite ready to see Stephen back in front of a studio audience yet, because this version of “A Late Show” is so much more intimate and funny.
I remember Color Me Vaxxed. I hope sport coats with extra arm and shoulder room get brought back...."oh all night!"
does anyone know if there’s perhaps consumer software that enables one to create custom songs like this.. i.e create your own lyrics, but replicate the feel and sound of existing songs
@@tomasvdb Yeah, it's preloaded on all MACs and it's used to create all modern pop music. We're doomed.
A late show, the daily show and last week tonight with john oliver should stay in their current formats. Super intimate💞
@@tomasvdb No simple software. However you can buy instrumental backing tracks for almost every song ever. There’s loads of sites online.
“Not happening in Florida.” Best part for me. 😂😂😂
Thew fact that Gaetz-Gate and Gates-Gate are happening at the same time Is something no one could have predicted!
Too bad they weren't running the odds in Vegas.
It's no coincidence it's a conspiracy, we must investigate Gates Gaetz gates
@@iamdigory times v Sullivan is the landmark supreme court rulling which allows people like left wing activists like Steaven Colbert to spread fear-mongering and lies about people they don't like
Without being sued for defamation
I hope they overturn it it will be a tragedy for democrats.
Best Vax-scene intro yet 😂😂
“Americans to Be honest with themselves”
Oh lort. We’re doomed is right
...understatement of the year
Oh, no, human contact again, hugs and hand shakes :( Well, I guess all good things must come to an end.
A friend of mine was a college intern at Microsoft almost 20 years ago. She went on to work for the company for several years. Gates would hold parties for the new interns at his home every year. He fed my friend grapes at one point. She thought it was hilarious that the world's richest person (at the time) was feeding her grapes like she was an empress and he was her servant.
The implications of that story have changed recently.
Everyone has an anecdote now, liar.
@@shrijitasgable Believe me or not, but I can say that when I told my wife,nI learned that when our friend told that story to women at the time, she told it differently. She was creeped out at the time by it. She left out the part about being creeped out when she told the story to men.
Sorry edit.......
I didn't expect to be so moved by seeing ppl hug. Thanks guys
In England we were allowed back inside the pub as of yesterday (Monday). Beer without hypothermia and trench-rot, sheer luxury.
This show is suppoused to make me laugh. At 3:57 I just bursted into tears. So nice to see that. We still have a long time to wait in my country
Hang in there Eduardo! There sure have been a lot of tears lately. But good stuff is trickling in!
I want to know who sang Vax You Up and who did those background vocals, because they slayed that!
We are ALL going to miss Evie when you go back to the theatre 🥰
Don’t go back to the theater.... PPPPLLLLEase!
I think Evie should get her own, comfy seat on-stage, just so we can see and hear her reacting to everything!
Please let Evie be you Ed McMahon!
Color Me Badd, really ? Damn this team is working hard 😂😂😂
Ikr.... I loved it...
@@daisybootz3607 Definitely loved that groove.
Remember the words of the great character on House, played by Hugh Laurie, "Everybody lies."
That hug between Stephen and Mark filled my heart with joy. Stephen asked for consent then gave Mark a hug in a way only people who have known each other a long time can hug. It was beautiful. I miss hugs.
Lmao oh my goodness. The Color Me Bad parody was genius
😆🤣
GOLD! Lol
Made my day
That was too well played🤣
My favorite by far
Did she ask us to be honest?
Has she not seen the moral state of our country ?
Even before Stephen said it, I had to remind myself that tiger story WASN’T out of Florida.
It just seemed soo Florida!
"Do you know what a serving size of Oreos is?"
Sleeve?
"It's not sleeve..."
Dammit.
half of one.
3 cookies
I thought it was right... 😔😂
Two.
So is Mark the one we always hear laughing (besides his wife obviously)? It’d be nice to put a face to the laugh.
That is indeed the source of laughter we hear
I hope when she wants to be there. She is too funny. And has an awesome laugh!!
I've heard him speaking to a Chris too. And Evie.
The sheer number of Gaetz and Gates jokes in this makes me very happy 😊
that is a hat trick we may never see again gates gaetz gate.😀🤪✌😎
"Smart. Never buy a tiger, always lease". 😺😺😺
🐅🐅🐅🐯🐯🐯
Got my 2nd dose of Pfizer vax a few hours ago...I'm prepared to feel crappy (I have lots of soup and ibuprofen). In two weeks I will hug my vaccinated friends for the first time since last winter. Positive vibes from New Hampshire and remember to be kind to each other and yourself during this pandemic and social crisis
I cried at that hug. Human contact!
Someone told Matt Gaetz that Venmo "could be used for minor purchases."
I see what you did there...lol
I laughed well and good at this one.
"I always lie" is a great reference to the "I, Mudd" episode of the original Star Trek series. Thank you Stephen. :)
After a year of me loosing faith in humanity. You want me to have faith in humanity and believe in an honor system.
Just a year? Where ya been?
Ugh...whybare you worried about masks if you are vaccinated?? What is the reasoning! Stop listening to the propaganda! You can spread it even if you are vaccinated. This is all to get thai bs pass inacted which will evolve into a social score system. Wake up!
That vax-scene color me bad intro was BEAUTIFUL 😭😭😭
That hug hit a certain way, ugh how nice to have hope
Amazing monologue! Couldn’t stop LOL-ing.
Entered that last comment too soon... You killed tonight's show! Seriously, yourself and the amazing writers and staff should be nominated for the wit of this episode.
I can’t contain my glee about Gatez hopefully going to prison. He deserves to spend the rest of his life in prison.
Go get vaccinated, how !!!
forget these mad leaders, so stop voting for them !!!
@@lucasrem ??
@@lucasrem MAGAs used to say, “if you don’t like it, you can leave the country.”
His Daddy will get him out of it.
@@catdog605 hello from Canada. Left in ‘04
My age really hit me when I realized the Windows startup music made me nostalgic...
🤣🤣 same...
It’s Friday night. You’ve finished your homework. You’ve heated up some Totino’s pizza rolls. Your mom says you can play Toontown for awhile. You start up the computer. You hear that wonderful noise. Life is good.
That one was *way* too new for me to get nostalgic about it. Yeah. I’m old! :D
😂😂. Yes! Threw me back to the "stuttering" dial-in internet connection sound😂
Meanwhile, I'm thinking, "'Vista'??? What about Windows ME?!?!"
Also, quit rolling your eyes at me, you whipper snappers
The only person I want to hug is my dog.
Is it wrong that I don't want this show to go back to "normal?" I like "A Late Show" better than "The Late Show." Stephen, a couple camera guys, maybe a sound guy, producer, Evee (a nickname I can't spell) giggling on the side. It just feels better this way.
I agree.
I agree… This quarantine edition has been hilarious
+Anthony Zenrick ~ Evie, short for Evelyn
Gates-Gate is so new and hot, Gaetz-Gate is trying to date it.
Nice one!
genuinely disappointed when the song ended, I was all dissociating and boppin along ✨
me, too. totally forgot there was such a song….gonna vax you up…….who knew?
They are really upping their game. I can’t wait for the next one.
Grace Munich Color Me Badd was the epitome of the 90s, lol! 😆
And I can’t lie...I loved them! ❤️
"You can lick your Grandma now."
Such a soulful lyric...
One of the best things about being vaxxed was not having to spend a half hour wiping my groceries with disinfecting cloths every time I go shopping.
You know, the CDC recently said that the odds of catching covid from a contaminated surface is actually about ten thousand to one. So it turns out what you were doing was totally unnecessary.
Yeah....you never had to do that. 🤣😂🤣 These comments are more amusing than this segment.🤦🖖🏽
The best news this past weekend was the tiger's safe return.
yes and no one was harmed and the tiger can live peacefully….hopefully with some friends….in a sanctuary.
😀🐅✌😎
If there are “commercial” sex acts, does that also mean there are residential and industrial sex acts too?
Most of all, financial ones 😜
Don't forget office and bureaucratic sex acts.
It depends on the local zoning laws.
Industrial sex acts sounds very gay.
@@sketty5069 Definitely, but I would also imagine it would have to take place in one of those leather/latex fetish night clubs that only exist in cyberpunk films. You know the one where the main character has to walk across a smoke filled dance floor that's got a bunch of half-naked goths dancing to something like Skinny Puppy, Prodigy or Aphex Twin.
...kind of an oddly specific image I'm seeing, but it's sort of a weird trope in the cyberpunk genre. I'm not even sure if anyone has ever converted an old warehouses into BDSM club that only plays Industrial music, but I'm sure if you ever found a place like that in real life, it would be filled with elite hackers and/or vampires.
Love Colbert, hoping I can come see a show soon! It would be my first time attending. I'll have to keep an eye out for when audiences can come back.
honestly kudos to stephen's animation and graphics team. They do such a great job every night!
I was just thinking "Not Florida!" when he said "it didn't happen in Florida" 😂
GOD, the VAX SCENE intros are getting better and better.
For the record, the Zune was fantastic!
That Bill Gates opening made me think my computer was shutting down! LOL
Matt Gaetz focused a lot of energy and enthusiasm on teen outreach.
Oh my dayssss! The Vax Scene ‘Colour me Bad’ tribute killed me 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Ebstein's name rings a bell🤔...oh right a virus 🤣🤣🤣
Man the vax scene is my new favorite up and coming group. Such versatility!
I'm gonna miss this version of Stephen and the 2 laughs in the room lol
me, too! Love this format, veryauthentic, no fake “pushed” laughs….
Me too 💙 it really has been a lovely, intimate, chill experience
I wonder if the guy laughing so hard in the background is Mark, the guy he hugged?
Now that song is in my head😂
Me too!
How the mighty fall, like a ton of bricks. I mean seriously are all these men with way more money then they need perverse….. ugh so sickening.
I'm *never* worried for the people in stories like that. I'm far more concerned about the tiger.
Yeah, "you don't need to wear masks" has the same feeling as "the water is safe, we caught a shark".
The thing is, according to the CDC, the vaccinations actually work; which is to say that you ARE protected from idiots who won't get vaccinated and won't wear a mask. Keep wearing a mask if it makes you feel better (I'm going to); but hey, apparently, this stuff we went out and got shot into us actually works the way it's supposed to!!
@@ValerieJNorse And that is good news.
Oh my god... they need to make this... Epic Rap Battles of History... “Matt Gaetz vs Bill Gates”!!! Wait I need to do a search to see if someone has already made this!!
Imagine being a murder suspect in hiding and being sought by the law and "Tony The Tiger" is the one that gave you up to authorities?😂🤣🤣
Hugs is A Must Stephen your so funny, I have cried a many times with your jokes like A joker tears from intense laughter Thank YOU & ....
My mother dated a guy who raised Mountain Lions.
Had them wander around his place like house cats.
It seems the consensus is "your cat doesn't kill and eat you only because it's not big enough," so I don't know how I'd feel about that lol
@@ridikipicklepeckinpuff583 lmao
@@ridikipicklepeckinpuff583 Well bearing in mind that there are multiple instances of cat owners dying and being partly eaten by those same cats, I'm very much inclined to agree with that consensus.
Alright I see your moves Stephen 🕺🏻😃
Side note: I don’t think I’ll ever hear that song the same again!
That “naughty favors” line had me 💀
Hey, we in San Antonio, also in Texas, had a residential tiger on the loose this past February.
Begs the question how many household tigers are there here?
0:20 I ain't gonna lie, the song "I wanna vax you up" was Smooooth!!
Right!?!?
I really came to see if they just had the clip of the song and Stephen dancing, lol
t really was. I had to go and listen to the original after that
@@Roseclan24 😂🤣
@@Roseclan24 🤣🤣🤣 same
I've been loving my personal space. Now I have to go back to dodging hugs again!
Coworkers: "you're so cute!"
Me: 😖
no you don't. just wear your mask and everyone stays away. i'll wear mines till I feel comfortable. stay safe.😷✌😎
@@sshza2143 Good idea. 😆
Tell 'em to BACK OFF or you're reporting them to HR!
That still made me cry! Hugs.
Thank You, Florida for giving the Country the bone on this one.
It was actually really nice to see that hug❤️
Maybe it's too late... Maybe I'm too tired... Or maybe I've been missing human contact for too long, but the hug between him and his stage manager made me tear up. 😂
Cracking up at "What? Did you think there was going to be a joke??? F*** you, we love eachother"
I don't want to go back to shaking hands. Do you think people will accept if I tell them that I just don't like touching other people's hands, or will that just still be a major insult?
Gaetz' candy, "High School Junior Mints!" LMAO! 😂
😄🤣🤭
Aww come on now, let's not insult the Junior Mints.
Gaetz doesn't have a 4 head he has a 5 head!
:22 @CBS, can you please please please puh-LEEEEEEEEEEASE release the 1 hour loop of this dance?
Colbert: Hope for Vax-Scene
Jon Batiste: Vintage 80's Track
Ummm... That Color Me Badd track came out in '91. 🤦🏽♀️😂
something tells me this kind of thing has been going on for years, however, most politicians weren't stupid enough to advertise it.
The Microsoft digs are hilarious
“ staring contest with his hair“ priceless
“I wanna vax you up” 🤣🤣🤣
hide the kiddies...uncle Matty is coming around with a huge bag of skittles.
"You thought there was going to be a joke? Fuck you. We love each other."
Hilarious
Not High School Junior Mints!!!!😭😭😂😂🙅🏾♀️