Dr. K Chats with
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- čas přidán 2. 07. 2024
- All guests of Healthy Gamer are informed of the public, non-medical nature of the content and have expressly agreed to share their story.
Dr. K chats with Maya Higa! They go over Maya's new sanctuary, Alveus, and how it's like taking care of animals. Maya shares her feeling about not being able to relax, and how it was like growing up in silicon valley.
Dr. K’s Guide to Mental Health explores Depression, Anxiety, ADHD, and Meditation, and now Trauma!
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▼ Timestamps ▼
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00:00:00 Intro
00:00:37 Taking Care of Animals
00:11:18 Unable to Relax
00:18:36 Growing Up in Silicon Valley
00:31:56 Feeling like Time Is Running Out
00:53:36 Feeling Behind in Life
01:08:29 Feeling Stupid
01:18:50 Closing Thoughts
Be sure to check out Maya's stream and thank her for coming the show: / maya
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All guests of Healthy Gamer are informed of the public, non-medical nature of the content and have expressly agreed to share their story.
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#productivity #mindset #psychology
I think it would be really cool if you guys added the end of the stream to the videos. I usually go back over to the vod to see what dr.k says after the streamer leaves. I usually find a lot of insight in what he says, and the tips help a lot as well.
Up!
I didn’t even know there was another part! Yes to this!
"You say 'I wasn't in any advanced classes.' That doesn't make you dumb, that just means you're normal." I don't know why but this line hit me like a ton of bricks.
totally, ive always had to match up to siblings/parents standards but i wish they’d realized normal is ok.
That was just our education system failing her, pre-university education is very very outdated, it was created in the industrial revolution in order to prepare factory workers and we really never changed it, we still keep trying to fit all shapes into the square hole no matter what it is, some countries are changing how they do pre-university education but is not enough.
It also doesn't mean you are normal. Advanced classes and the selection for who gets the allocated seats goes far beyond intelligence
@@TheFamousMockingbird What? Please explain?
@@alexandramaclachlan7597 A lot of the time, getting good grades doesn't mean you're smart, it means you do what they ask of you
If I had one wish, it would be to live long enough to see the "constant productivity" culture finally die. Like, last night my dad came home from his fucking 12 hour shift at work and sat down on the couch and says "I feel like I should do something."
And I'm like "Why???? You just worked all day?????"
And he's like "yeah I know I just feel like I...should"
lmao it's bizarre. I'm definitely a little like that too. It's awful
I don't know you can interpret "I feel like I should do something" in many ways how toxic productivity affects each person is different
Next time ask in Dr. K.'s manner, 'what do you think you shoud do' or something. I mean, the shift is over, but in the house... perhaps something needed to be done. Cleaning, washing, anything. A responsable parent just has that I think...
that's capitalism for you
Mabey it's more like your Dad has been going going going for twelve hours and for some it's hard to just turn it off. Also I have felt this many times that I spent twelve hours "doing for some else" I'd like to do something for me. The doing for some one else is just a figure of speech if your working your doing for someone else and yourself i.e. making money.
yeah I had a dad who would work all day and do OT and be super drained at the end of the day and just want to be left alone. then the weekend hit and all he would do is some kind of project around the house. he always was doing something, never had time for us. Now I hate having to do anything other than relax during the weekend.
You can really tell how much Maya has changed since their last recording. Way more confident
Dont know about that, she still seems uncertain and insecure, not much changed
@@kepagu She has always been like this. Days differ a bit, like for all of us.
I watched her earlier interview first and I had to double-check just to make sure that it was the same person in both. It's so cool to see how much more confident Maya is!
@@MoneySwagGod I did the same thing. I haven't ever watched Maya before so I started with the first interview and she really does seem more head strong than before.
this channel may be more helpful than two years of social work school lol. amazing interpersonal manner, which i am sure comes from a love of the therapeutic craft combined with the friendliness that is naturally yours. THANK YOU so much Dr.!!!!
Well said and you are intelligent for noticing real things are often better than textbooks interpretations and tests!
The one thing Maya should be really proud of is encouraging the young learners in the conservation field to keep asking and telling them it’s okay to feel dumb. I think this will make an even greater impact combined with her continuous efforts on educating people on twitch. Speaking of impact and making a change, showing passion is the ultimate factor in doing that and she’s been doing a great job! Keep it up Maya peepopog wow
i don't think pride was her problem in the first place. rather letting go of trying to impress everyone.
I need to find a therapist like him for PTSD , if I could laugh and enjoy talking with someone I bet I could overcome this thing
Alot of PTSD treatment is behavioural therapy, but I'm sure there are some that do things like PDT therapy that also know PTSD . Google and maybe ask around . Ask your Dr if they can refer u
Thank you , yeah I've been trying to work on going back.
Im just curious what's your PTSD? (what you fear from) IF YOU'RE NOT COMFORTABLE DONT REPLY!
@@kapiushon8428 There are lots of therapists out their man, Im sure you can find someone. Good luck on your journey man!!!!!
Thanks man I'm trying to find a good one , also it's okay to ask I'd rather ppl know and not wonder "what's wrong with that guy" lol I don't really fear anything other than being around a lot of people at one time because I feel everything off of everyone I'm around and it can be exhausting. But what I had seen is what still haunts me. I was walking from my room one morning and I noticed my mom walking to the back room with a gun and that wasnt normal to me so I went back to make sure she was okay. She told me to close the door and I told her in a very panicked and shocked way that I'd do it if she did , which i didn't mean at all of course i just didn't want her to do it. Then i closed the door because what was going through my head was pure panic, I was already dealing with trauma from other crap in my past and that just pushed my mind into freaking out. I started driving to pay the power bill for her like I was supposed to and all of the sudden I felt this like punch to my heart directly like something really hit me. I knew what it was but I had to convince myself that she wasnt going to. Then I got there the place was closed and when i got home.. something felt off like the dogs were scared and I knew what I was about to find if I went back there so I smoked a cig and went to look. It looked like she was sleeping , but I checked her pulse and when I didn't feel anything I just sat there. I just found my best friend dead and i waited for paramedics and the coroner. I had to carry the mattress out. It um it's been 4 yrs , I still dream about it constantly. It's never far from my thoughts lol and that's with meditation and a lot of therapy. I wanted to be a streamer and now I never will be able to because I can't keep myself calm enough to have fun lol
"I graduated with a 4.2" "I did fine"
Very often being productive is about removing impediments and not too much about adding additional stuff to an already crowded mind
That's what most people do. If you would have seen Dr. Ks video "Motivation Psychology: How to Not Be Overwhelmed" I don't think you would have written that.
@@magnusr.poulsen2437 I don't talk about "doing less". Removing impediments like negative emotions or overcoming addiction can be a ton of work... But it serves the purpose of getting something out of the way that holds you back
@@TheDhammaHub i initially disagreed with your comment until i reread it and read your clarification
yeah, I actually really do have a hard time even starting things I used to do willingly for hours on end because I'm currently preoccupied with a lot of negative emotion and thought
I recorded and improved at guitar and music happily for 5 years straight once I started recording, had been playing for 14 years, but after all the shit that's happened I haven't recorded or wrote any music in a year and still can't find myself to do it
What you're pointing out about reducing impediments I think is definitely true, it's really hard to "produce" anything when it takes a lot of energy already to be affected by negative things that happen
@@caixiuying8901 Absolutely! And best wishes for you music and writing =)
lmao she said sorry for wasting dr.ks time cause she said she isnt changing anything and im just sitting here going man this has been so insightful for my own probs, great vid
Feeling smart or dumb is a judgement that doesn't help you. I used to feel both, and thought that feeling dumb was a drive, but it is self sabotage. The simplest way to not feel dumb is to play on easy. Once I realized the futility I not only kept my curiosity but it burns ever brighter. Maya is 100% right, all we can do is keep learning.
maya is back! i enjoyed the last one with her so i clicked fast on this one
DID U EVEN WATCH THE WHOLE VID ?
@@DulajPasqual yes :-)
I have never related to someone so much before in my life 😭 I loved this session and it’s so interesting because I have lived in the Silicon Valley my whole life and the environment can feel so competitive and fast paced sometimes. But thank you so much for having this conversation, I feel like I learned a lot about myself as well and I really admire the both of you a lot!!!
I am the total opposite of her. I dont care of anything and only waste time. Never do anything productive, just watch rewatch movies, sleep and play games with all the free time I have.
I always want to answer every knowledge question with "I dont care" and accept that I am stupid.
It just wierd to see that there are people like Maya that has so much drive to learn and are doing so much for such a young age.
Yeah and it gets annoying to see. Bring on a sloth like us next time. Not a hyperproductive gaming icon.
@@porkerpete7722 it's sounds like "productive"people having problems irritates you, can I ask why, or if I'm getting that wrong?
@@porkerpete7722 it’s helpful for people who can relate to her, like me.
Yeah for me it's the opposite, I believe caused by adhd. I need to have a compelling reason to DO anything, my brain resists everything by default.
Always a good time when Maya’s on the stream.
Very relatable. This has helped open my eyes and look at my life with both sides present and decide which side is right for me. Also talking to my therapist. I am dumb and want to know more for me.
Thank you for revisiting all of these streamers!
Maya gotta be the most legit wholesome person on twitch ngl
Bro she is so cute. If I can find a blonde version of her, all my life problems will fall away.. lmao
It’s super cool that you do follow ups! It’s cool to see these stories develop and makes it seem like you really care about the people you speak with. Thanks for the content!
I've never seen Maya before, she seems humble.
Yeah she's super cool, check her out. If you checkout Mizkif as well he's a goofball
@@mihirkambli6879 21...started a non profit and a lot more....she is impressive..and still humble...love her
she literally shaved her hair because of her non profit fund raising event it was a gigantic success
@@AlanNess Yeah that extreme behavior isn't interesting to me.
Sarcasm?
The change since the last interview in her tone and how she speaks and whatnot is insane. So much more happier and outspoken it seems :) super proud of maya 🙌🏻
So that's why Miz and Maya are a good combination. Miz prevents Maya from becoming too serious (since he's always trolling), and Maya prevents Miz from becoming too Pepega.
Perfectly balanced, as all things should be
Yin and Yang
XD
@@Remik7000 okay this doesn't age well, does it?
@@narudik Yahhhhh aged a bit poorly but that's okay.
I completely understand her! Never feeling good enough no matter how successful you are and the constant need to learn!!!
My f*cking emu likes eating metal 🤣🤣 ffs, the CASUAL way she talks about it just killed me.
17:58 is the moment I've most resonated with. I do the same thing Maya does in that context.
Also 28:45 I have the exact same reasons for me about fiction books.
On a deeper level... HealthyGamerGG is literaly the BEST thing that ever happened to Twitch. Asmongold is close followup, but damn, Dr. K and his partners does so much work for the entire community. My deepest respect and gratitude. Love from Denmark
Asmon doesn't do shit for twitch lol. I like the guy, but he doesn't do anything to change lives or help people. Unless you count complaining about a 15 year old video game all day "Helping the community".
@@ethanfogarty9540 yeah not a great comparison but.asmongold clips as CZcams videos I’ve seen of the guys thoughts and opinions have benefited me especially on how to live comfortably and that it’s better to take problems away from your life by having less then it is adding problems by buying more
@@ethanfogarty9540 also one video he said a good life lesson also about why he has like a crappy old beaten mustang when he could have a expensive sports car if he wanted to is because the extra stress and worries if it breaks or the attention it brings or if people will damage it while you’re in the store
@@ethanfogarty9540 Asmongold might just be content but Zackrawrr is where you'll find the helpful stuff.
Is asmon a stoic?
Dang. I know I am late to the party, but a lot of Maya's struggles with toxic productivity make sense to me, and though mine was different, a lot of Dr.K's techniques for addressing it were applicable. What a beautiful thing you two did here :')
Loved this
Hey Dr K, not sure will you be seeing this or not, but just want to say thank you, i really appreciate these videos. Although I only watched the conversation with Reckful and this but I understand much more about myself as I do suffer or having some same situation as them. Im not gonna talk much, but yea, thank you. Hope you have a nice day. As well as anyone reading this. :)
I WENT FROM BINGEING maya and miz vids to these vides and i couldnt be happyier really makes me think about my postions and maybe i do need a therepist
Great video so far! :)
Can we have the full video included? Like the after thoughts after every discussion. Feel like it'll be a good insight.
the unable to relax is huge to me, its very hard for me to sleep because if im just laying there with my eyes closed i feel like im just wasting time and i have to watch youtube or listen to a podcast to fall asleep.
I died when he did the Indian head bob thing with the accent 🤣
timestamp?
@@aditimr 26:45
@@namansoood thenks^•^
@@aditimr Snek
hahaha yea
Maya is so wholesome
I think this might have been one of the most useful chats for me.
That feeling of "dumb" when presented with a new topic or information is something I can relate to. I hope Maya can change her understanding of that feeling. Maybe perceiving the feeling of "dumb" as feeling "inquisitive" instead. Best of luck!
"how does you understanding string theory help your emu!?" 😂 That should've been in the intro
Wonderful! I have me and had to spend more than a year mooching in bed. A big part of my recovery was self-acceptance, because internal conflict was also exhausting. Toxic productivity. Brilliant insight!
And listening on.. Omg this is so me!
He's great.
My 85 yo dad once said to me "you don't wanna be salty", either the dr in him talking or it was a saying back when, or both.
salts in blood = high blood pressure ... so maybe being "salty" was already a thing back then ?
@@noobiewatcherz9938 I always assumed "salty" was a naval term that's been around for centuries--a word that is commonly used to describe the kinds of attitudes and language you would expect from sailors working on ships in rough conditions while out at sea (and therefore under constant exposure to salt water).
It's ironic that I'm watching this because I think it's more poductive than watching gaming stuff on CZcams :D
A thought on the part where he was talking about esports teams playing 12 hours a day. I do find myself playing well if i take anywhere between a day or two to a week off playing a certain game, i tend to have a little more focus and do really well.
"i get the sense that if you miss out on an opportunity you dont have faith in yourself to be able to recover, that like this is the chance, right, and if i miss this opportunity like everything is going to come crumbling down like youll only feel that way if you dont have faith in yourself to adapt to circumstances and find a way forward which i think youre gonna do fine like i think that everything could come crashing down around you i think youd be fine. It'd be hard psychologically but i think that your actual commitment to your mission will find a way for you to make a difference to the world" now i understand that i lack of faith in myself.
10:36 "I have nieces and nephews that are ... normal people." It's past midnight and I am having trouble typing this out. The sincerity has me in tears.
Wait what I don’t get it? What was special about that line?
That is huge though. Knowing that you don't want to change. That level of self awareness is gigantic. I just wanted to give Maya a big hug at the end because I could feel her productive self beating herself up for not having a "productive" talk with Dr. K. Learned a lot here.
That opening statement got me
I have a similar things with Maya but playing with "older" card, I notice something why I don't want to change.
1. Ambition and toxic productivity gives me the sense of doing something, achieving and purpose. Even in the end I would feel empty. At least I have a temporary sense of chasing and purpose. If I change, I dont' know how can I get the source of sense of purpose, not that I know of. That is scary.
2. I am blank. I need to process it first. cheers guys!
dr k you're the best
Dr. K slips seamlessly into "Indian uncle". I love it. "Why are you not a biomedical engineer? You could have had four diplomas but you only got one" /Indian accent
Sup everyone hope you’re all staying safe and positive
@@montyisdead2518 I tested positive... For attitude :)
Thanks! Hope you’re taking care of yourself as well! :D
Quarantine can be summed up in one word: TriDance
You too!!!
I’d rather not be covid positive bro
It's Maya again! She's Awesome!
Running a non profit at 22... Tf am I doing with my life
i feel exactly the same way as if time is running out and I need to be as efficient as possible.. but elaborating more on the 4 vs 5 day work week, what actually helped me most was realising the value of purposeful relaxing and purposeful fun and changing my perspective to see them as important self care/maintenance tasks...which overall will improve my productivity and efficiency ... :)
Good busy Vs Bad busy. This gives a new perspective.
She wants to save the world, but the world will not be saved.
Once she saves the world, she will still not be happy.
I've felt this, and it's so frustrating :(
Agreed but we kinda need optimistic people like her or else everyone would think well mind as well not help or do anything because in the end it’s gonna be destroyed anyway
She needs to save the cheerleader
@@Slawsers I wasn't implying that it's pointless to save the world, but rather that it's impossible to do so. She is already doing an INCREDIBLE AWESOME job at such young age even, but she's still not satisfied, and I think that's frustrating and sad.
@@knocks42 what is the point of doing something impossible?
Idealism is a young person's game. But it's still nice
Not finished the video yet but, SHE'S 22?
Dr. K's 3 year old telling him to eat with his mouth closed absolutely killed me
I know I'm likely not qualified at all but I think that something that could maybe help a lot is acceptance. Possibly acceptance that she is dumb even though that isn't true but you won't be thinking about it constantly if you already know it's true. Even with this attitude, she'd still have the same attitude with learning and won't feel the constant pressure of being dumb. So acceptance of the situation that she is dumb even if it isn't true.
"I always feel like I need to do something and when I'm not doing something I feel guilty. I think a lot of people have that"
Yeah. Except I never actually do anything, so I always feel guilty.
yeah, but we have probably a different problem...
The power of becoming "bird girl" on Twitch
32:15
Maya is the most attractive person without even trying it’s insane
i want to say coomer but you said it respectfully
BOOBA
If I were gay I’d be attracted to him
@@abuDA-bt6ei dr k chad thundercock, the sex appeal. all the straight men want him
@@abuDA-bt6ei same bro same call me gay im gay to for her im with ya
@@metaslavehs3297 wdym she's not trying? She's wearing a lot makeup and has a haircut that requires maintenance. Not to mention a consistent style of clothing that is clearly intentional. ..?
When i'm iistening to Maya i'm getting i can see a huuge difference in mindset between me and her. I'm 22 and will be just first year uni, because i didn't knew i wanted to study. And honestly i feel fine about that
Please make a video on mental cunfusion and brain fog and alexythymia depersolition deprealition
Search for "How to Unsuppress Emotions | Healthy Gamer Webinar #6" for alexythymia. I think the newest interview with Mizkif talks about brainfog, but a lot of that surrounds ADHD and medication.
@@DecayMedia i want to talk to you because i think im going crazy or mental 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
this was like my actual therapy session lmao
I mean, this really reminds me of the most recent conversation with Asmon.
wow Maya, are you me? I mean, a more successful version of me, but still. I have the exact same mindset and the exact same problems...
27:04 *nice*
Maya is such an intelligent and well spoken young woman. I hope she gets to do lots of good things.
This could not have come at a better time for me. Thanks!
I think it would have been interesting to touch on the subject of burnout. Especially because she mentioned it. She has something to lose if she does, has the ability to make free time but is incapable of relaxing. Good talk though.
Too much is not about the hours. You can stay active as long as you have balance.
26:55 YEP
great interview, ty
i love how dr k is sitting with peaceful expression listening to maya telling about chick that eats shiny metal things
makes me think hes happy that one of his guests piece their life together in a healthy manner
Damn i can relate to this gal so much, i suffer from allot of what shes talking about and this video was very helpful.
21:55 Dr K. Tea/Coffee sipping ASMR
As a programer... the term "toxic productividy" and optimizing everything even fun.. is something i really can understand.
Imho...I think may programers suffer from this.. because the very nature of the work pushes you into that kind of mindsed...
I have been conditioned to associate Maya with Nick .
Maya is multi - faceted and is the opposite of a basic human, also a fellow guitarist which puts her right up there with notable people like Steve Irwin who is a idol here in Far North Queensland.
I have boat's available to do conservation projects on turtle nesting area's on traditional land but getting volunteers from my Family / extended family is difficult.
We need more influencers like Maya to promote conservation work even if it's picking up rubbish when walking on the beach or outside in general.
Mayas animals have better health care than me
maya is 22? sheeesh im only 2 years younger and i am no where close to starting a non-profit Xd
She's managed to convince herself that she's old. There are 40 year olds just getting started with the sort of stuff she's doing. She's gotta chill.
Woo
26:39 Dr. K's INDIAN ACCENT. 🤣
im waiting for someone to jokingly say no when he asks if he can think
Nothing is something to do. If you do nothing, something still happens to you.
-some song I can't remember the name of
This session just shows everything that is wrong with the US
I know it's bad to compare yourself but she's a year younger than me and she's achieved so much (environmentally) that I could never even dream of actually doing makes me wanna cry.
God I feel the same. I'm 23 and I try so hard to be "adult" and responsible, yet hearing her talk just makes me feel like such an absolute infant lmao. But I guess that's why we watch these videos, right? I feel like I've heard Dr. K say something along the lines of "you have to look at where you're at and not where you think you SHOULD be"
There are a ton of factors that goes into that. The way you’re raised, your birthplace, your genes, your personality.
Use what talents you possess - the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.
@@JCH_BEATS thank you, I will try to do that
@@ilikebirds7748 thank you for reminding me of that, I hope we can both stop feeling this way
Dr. K should go on Joe Rogan’s podcast for mental health awareness month
This was a really interesting one to watch.
You are not dumb if you don't know a lot, you're dumb if you can't learn and make new connections. Maybe you're dumb if you have a hard time to comprehend something. So it's good that you're not a "know-it-all", because while they comprehend a lot, how much new do they learn? They are in the danger of standing still.
There is so much we all don't know, so keep learning, be curious and ask more questions!
Dear Internet, (Part 2)
My journey to getting better at romance continues.
So recently, the guy who I suspect could be interested in me asked me if I wanted to eat lunch with him.
I said okay and we went to get something to eat before our next class started.
He was actually really funny and I got to know him a lot more (We hadn't had a proper conversation before this).
Nothing odd happened....until I got home.
All I could think about was him. But not just normal thinking. I was constantly just thinking about him.
This has never happened to me before...
That's awesome. Hope what comes next works out!
You got the hots for him. How old are you?
Happy for you!
@@empiricus2211 It's very strange but thank you!
@@artofwar420 I'm 21 but not very experienced at all.
8:55 talking about dank haha
I want to meet this emu so bad
W
as always sick to witness the sickness change into another sickness - just to be turned into something good
SNEAKY SNEAKY!
tldw: Feeling guilty of Toxic productivity --> Less "guilt" of Toxic productivity.
how do i book a session with Dr.K?
You need that rested exp.
@3:00 holy cow, did she buy a property? not sure, can someone clarify? chat? buy a property? did she ? buy? property?
look up "Alveus"... I mean, it is in the middle of nowhere (which reduces the cost) but it is still an amazing project. There is so much work in this, she achieved that much by an age, where others were not really sure how to register to a beer-pong tournament.
why "sneaky sneaky"