women gatekeep relationships… not men [groom’s gross vows]
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- čas přidán 20. 12. 2023
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In this episode, Elle discusses the crucial role women play in relationships. She asserts that women are the gatekeepers of relationships, not men, contrary to popular belief. Elle emphasizes the need for women to value themselves and walk away from situations where they're being disrespected or taken for granted. She encourages women to stop making excuses for bad behavior and to not settle for less, even if it means walking away from a wedding. Elle also shares her thoughts on the importance of having high standards and being okay with being high maintenance. The episode ends with Elle advocating for women to uplift each other and reminding her listeners that they deserve nothing but the best.
Keywords: come on cody, groom learns korean
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"Normalize leaving the man at the altar" in Kuwait a woman was getting married to her man and after they signed the papers and are now husband and wife, they were leaving and she was in her weeding dress so she stumbled and fell down, the husband immediately told her "are you stupid or blind? Get up" she turned around and asked for divorce, her case was recorded to be the fastest divorce, her marriage lasted 3 minutes exactly, honestly everyone on social media agreed with her, she saved herself from a life of humiliation.
He couldn’t wait to show her his real face and she was right not to wait around to see more. Very brave!
I stan her.
My role model
@@scary5455Go take a long walk off a short pier
@scary5455 did you even read? She took her safety and respect seriously. You should be blaming the ex for not taking his vows to heart. Divorce is a natural part of relationships. You're not being realistic about this.
There's a reason why divorced men marry quickly and divorced woman have zero desire to remarry. It's a scam.
Women usually marry for love and are disappointed a lot of the time when the guy ends up being a dud. Men look for whoever is available at the time, they become a chameleon to try and trick the woman into falling in love with them then they drop their mask after marriage.
It's not a compliment to be "picked" by a guy and it's great that women are finally starting to wake up to that truth! I'm glad young women especially are realizing this because older men usually try to manipulate young women expecting them to play along with their bad behaviour.
I don't know. I have noticed some women having multiple marriages too.
@@verycherry4459 there's always going to be exceptions. Just like there are women who upload tiktoks of themselves whining how they wished they've gotten married and had kids instead of pursuing a career, that allows them to live an independent and dignified life. That doesn't mean all women feel the same way. Just like the opposite, women regreting getting married and having kids.
@@verycherry4459 I cant stand it when people need to have it spelled out to them. Statistically, men are more likely to remarry than women. I never said there is no women in the world who remarry.
@@verycherry4459Do you understand the concept of a bell curve?
Men: "it's your fault, choose better."
Also men: "your standards are too high because you expect reciprocal effort."
@@rickhunter7443’it’s nOt AlL mEn, iM tHe NiCe GuY’. ffs, these comments are exhausting.
@@rickhunter7443no. Leave our space. Stop coming into women's spaces trying to force interactions. Go play with the boys.
@@rickhunter7443the attention seeking behavior is see through and a less than smart attempt at grasping for validation. And it is very obviously attention seeking behavior, because she LITERALLY included a clip of a groom delivering heartwarming vows to his new wife, and there are at least a dozen comments of women who appreciated the clip, and made their own rendition of “there’s still hope” in their remarks. Your point is moot because no one has argued the existence of “good men”. You just want to be seen.
@@rickhunter7443lol how to prove you are a nice guy who isn't actually nice in 30secs. Good on the women for ghosting you. They clearly saw the red pill signs in you
@@rickhunter7443 4 Women in a month? Wtf are you saying to women on these dating apps? Obviously you lack the ability to self reflect, but it is obviously a problem YOU are causing yourself. It makes no sense that women have been ghosting you at random, without any fault of your own 💀
I actually agree that it's not our job to teach men how to be better. Women are not rehabilitation centers for bad men.
Literally just leave them and trust they will be asking them selves what they did wrong and they’ll learn themselves if they have the mental capacity
louderrr👏👏👏
You are so right . Wish younger women know this starting from teenage .
THIS, all day long. I wish I understood this when I was younger, but I get it now.
@@Princessxaria they will be asking themselves what they did wrong even if you clearly explained them what it was smh
"If you marry a loser it will go on your permanent record." Lol I wish someone would have told me that 15 years ago. ❤
Same on all accounts! We got married the same year, high five! 🖐 Worst mistake of our lives! 🎉
@@C.C.369 have mentally and emotionally left already, he only care that I keep things clean and make dinner (his ego would be pissed if I actuallyleft though)...he baby trapped me with 4 kids before I figured out "what was wrong" wasn't me...and I'm not abandoning my kids to be mistreated and neglected by him, its my fault theyre in this situation. So I can't leave until I can get enough money for a lawyer and full custody...and he keeps sabotaging my jobs...so im still looking for an alternative income (no door dash here :-/). Gonna put in a Huge garden this spring and sell produce...and pretend like I'm not make enough off it to pay more than the water bill. 🤷♀️ wish me luck!
Also, the 🖐 and 🎉 were pure Sarcasm, incase you missed that.
@@C.C.369 I Agree!!!!
@@HolisticManifesting Yeah sis! ❤️
Shiiiiiiit I've only dated losers 😭
I’ve seen sooooo many awful husbands mock, degrade, and complain about their wives and kids.
“She just sits around watching soap operas all day!”
“I pay the bills! It’s her job to deal with the kids!”
“Why can’t she lose the baby weight/get a job/stop nagging me!”
But when those women finally leave, or pass on from all the stress, those men are LOST.
Their homes fall apart. They can barely feed themselves. They whine that she “left for no reason”. They play the victim. They start looking for their next victim.
So glad we’re waking up finally!
These guys are just ridiculous. If a woman has her own job and is financially independent, they complain about how she's "too independent" and they worry she'll leave him.
Then there are ones who enter into marriage where there's an agreement that the wife will stay home and raise the kids and the husband will go to work and earn money for the family.
The husband still complains about the wife and insults her, thinking him acting like an a-hole to his wife and kids is part of their agreement and when she gets sick of it, leaves and takes half of his assets, he gets mad and makes himself look like the victim.
He went into the marriage agreeing that his financial assets are shared with his family then is mad when that no longer works in his favour.
@@coolbreeze5683 Also, 'his assets'. 'Half of _my_ stuff, _my_ house' they say. Do men exclusively marry bedridden homeless women without bank accounts? No!
They simply consider all things rightfully _theirs_ (except tasks and labour..). Often even her. Pure entitlement.
@@cp_honeythat is an excellent point! There’s no “we” in partnerships with those dudes. It’s just “I” and “my” but they want women to sacrifice everything possible to prove our worth to them.
That's why I know why marriages in my family I consider good are indeed good. Their husbands always talk sweet things about their wives and vice versa.
Worst thing is, in my experience most of those men tell random strangers and say those are just "jokes"
I had a customer once that told me he wants water without bubbles (where I worked fizzy water was called loud, and basic was was called quiet) because his wife talks too much (she was waiting at the table)
When he noticed I didn't laugh about his joke and just stared at him he shut up real quick
I work in finance and am the only woman in an office full of men. I frequently hear them comment about staying late at the office so they won't have to go home and deal with the kids...basically waiting for their wives to do all the work at home and put the kids to bed so they can come home, eat their home cooked meals, and then "get some" from their poor exhausted wives. It's so so so sad and disgusting how they talk about their wives like they are their property and even sharing vulgar details about them with "the guys". Makes me sick to my stomach and also SO happy I have not been tricked into the scam. I just feel awful for the many women who have.
Omg I work as well in male dominated company and omg how much they hate women, even their mothers(and often single-mother) like so much disrespect, but Im not letting their negativity to influence me, because for me it's important to love my job as it is and I'm getting paid well.
@samozivkanadmenic9492 Exactly!! It's the disrespect that blows my mind and how they are all so open about it, they don't even bother trying to hide how slimey they are. If only their wives really knew how they behaved...I get a feeling many of them don't and are probably too fed up with doing everything to really notice or care anyway. 😞
My boss is the same. I no longer want to work for men because they don't want to leave the office and want me to stay after hours to help them. All so they don't have to go home to the wife.
i dont regret not getting married not even once, the more i read these stories the more im happy.
Do you ever say anything to them!! Because when I hear men saying stupid shiii I always talk shiii to them and call them out. They tell me that I’m a “Male Basher!” I AGREE WITH THEM WHOLEHEARTEDLY!!!!!
There's a certain type of man who takes great pride in never taking anything seriously.
And then, as a subtype of this guy, there are men who take pride in never taking their girlfriends, fiancées, and wives seriously.
They WILL show you warning signs. You can't change them. Don't try. Save yourself.
It's crazy how many men seek a woman who "doesn't take life seriously". TRANSLATION: I seek a woman who will be my verbal (and likely physical) punching bag and still stay.
A sub-subtype: “nO dRaMa”
Not only that, but they also take pride in not taking responsibility or never growing up and "living in the moment". Which is code for "using the best you have to give until he gets bored"
@@SheilaPatterson omg I am seeing so many black men on a dating app with ONLY THIS in their BIO... And I live in Poland. Such a huge nothing, a red flag and a turn off..
Yes, these men often describe themselves as "go with the flow," relaxed, chill or they say "I don't take myself too seriously." Please run from men who describe themselves this way.
it's not a good men lonely epidemic, its a BAD men lonely epidemic.
DO NOT GIVE IN, KEEP YOUR STANDARDS HIGH 🗣‼
I’m a free market libertarian lady - I believe men can solve their lonely epidemic by investing in good man friendships and thereby as Elle has mentioned build camaraderie and go through cultural manhood socialization which will in turn make them better partners for women, too. It may take time, but I’m optimistic the market will shake itself out. The good part is us women can be content with being single and know it’s better to be than be in toxic relationships. We’ll hold out generations if we have to. “Absurdistan” style.
I’m contributing by not dating heck I’ll still not date if the issue gets solved because I’m good alone.
frrr with the way some of them act they should be lonelier tbh
@@laurennelson3918exactly. It's so nice and comfortable being alone. No one naggs you or anything😊😂
I mean did they run out of passports? Or did they realize that other countries have men and women who also date each other so the options they were bragging about were never there
You can tell a man exactly what he did wrong a billion times, but he’ll never change. He’ll just go to the next woman acting the exact same way.
Guys have recently started reminding me of used car salesmen. Approaching women, trying to convince us to buy a lemon of a car that might seem to work well at first but eventually starts acting up and breaking down. Then when you try talking to the salesman about how they sold you a lemon, they gaslight you and tell you "too bad" then go on to their next "customer" using the same shoddy sales tactics.
Exactly. Its just wasting time and energy cause they don't give a shit about changing or being better
yes, until he lands on a woman who will accept him and his flaws.
@@_DeadlyNightshade_ that woman will lose
Exactly and when you tell a guy what's wrong they say you are "nagging" and you know how guys ignore women or take it less seriously when women "nag". It's like they hate when women don't express their interests saying they can't read their wives mind but when they do express it they call it annoying nagging
My Grandfather told me the best way to teach a man how to correctly treat you is to be the one that got away.
Best advice I ever got as its protected me from men who secretly hate women.
This is the best
Love that
Women like to think they are the ONE that got away when likely most of the women were good to them. Let’s stop thinking like this (ie. negatively towards his exes and future partners). HE is the problem! Men pit us women against each other and we fall for it. Reality is, you’re one of the ones that got away. I don’t believe men shitting on their exes with their catty gossip. The last one probably was treated just the way he’s treating you.
SO true. My current partner starting talking about buying a house and asking what engagement rings I like… I was so swept off my feet thinking I met my match. But literally over night, he’s changed and he’s so grumpy with me, silent treatment, rolling his eyes at me…I think because he thinks he “has me” now. But, currently I’m just preparing my exit plan. No way am I getting married or getting financially involved with him.
Just watched more of the video - omg I feel so bad for this poor woman! How sad. I hope she divorces him
Good for you, hope you make it out
@@Enriquez2222 thank you ❤️
Very smart. I went through a horrendous divorce and accidentally had a child with him. I also wanted to run early on and wish I had!!!
@@ksref It’s so easy to end up entangled with them! At least you got yourself out eventually. I hope your life is far better now ❤️
They complain they can't get dates and about the "male loneliness epidemic", then say they gatekeep relationships LMAOO no logic or truth, just ✨️projection and reverse psychology✨️
Brilliant!
@@rickhunter7443OMG! Thank you for pointing that out! I literally thought, "All men must do this", since she didn't specify not all men. Keep doing the good work man!
Most of losers blame feminism for "male loneliness epidemic". Like can't they understand that if every single woman simply does not want to be with you - maybe you are the issue.
(yes I know that in superficial places and cities people are shallow and materialistic but that goes for both women and men.)
@@rickhunter7443🙄here comes the "not all men" keyboard warriors. When you find a way to indicate the good and the bad among you then we can talk. Until then guilty until proven innocent
@@Asterisk.17Cringe pick me
The bride from the first clip: I would have walked down the aisle immediately, told everyone to enjoy the food and drink, loaded myself into an uber, went home, packed his shit and dropped it off at his mom's house with a note saying "We're done." Putting as much thought and effort into the note as he did his vows.
😂😂😂😂
When the minister ask - do you take this man to be your husband? I would say no. Let that no linger in the air to see if people thought I was joking. Then I would break up with him and have him escorted away from the venue like security style out and say - we gonna celebrate! Let’s eat and drink to me being single! 🥂
@@schuylergeery-zink1923 wow! I would love to see a movie like thisss
That would have been an awesome and Brave thing to do But like honestly if it was me I would have imploded from social anxiety. Also no one loves this woman, no family Friends stood up and Say don't marry this AH? Like if she has a father or father figure I don't condone violence But he could have punched the groom. I don't imagine my brother in that scenario letting that fly Even if i'm just ashes at that point because I did self combust from shame
Omg, that's so satisfying even to read it😂 and I 💯 sure he will go home crying 😂
In that last screenshot, his posture is like a guy pissing on a tree, that's how he's standing towards his wife. Truly disgusting. My tale of caution: My ex fiance always treated me well. People saw us as a power couple. Many women came to me saying they ditched their partner because they saw how much love, balance, and respect my partner showed me and it inspired them. We shared a business, we shared a stage, he always elevated me publicly and I felt so safe. We had an engagement party, and his mother tried to full on sabotage it). I was scrambling with all the details and hardly anyone to help- when the guests showed up I was sweaty, un-showered, a mess. My ex was having fun, casually talking to everyone, ignoring what was happening. I was stressed, came out to the yard with wet hair and asked him for help. He looked at me and said harshly, "NOPE. I'm DONE. What's done is done and I'm DONE with working on this party." He said this in front of his parents and others, and I felt so humiliated and abandoned by him. Later he cried and begged me not to end it, he loves me blah blah blah, "please don't let one day erase all these years." I stayed longer but that moment haunted me, I couldln't shake it. He ended up completely screwing me over in the end., financially, during a time I was ill and fighting for my life- and also took one of my dogs. So ladies, PLEASE protect yourselves. Even if you let him provide, have your OWN bag separately. You simply cannot trust men, because their internalized misogyny and privalege (you exist to please me) may pop up at any moment. Even with supposedly 'conscious' men who are heavy into self development and working on their wounds/inner child work, therapy, etc...The new standard is I won't date anyone who isn't CONSCIOUSLY working on divesting from these patriarchal systems.
I am sorry you went through this. I hope your ex will get what he deserves. I will pray you will have a wonderful, loving, honest, caring, wise and supportive partner you always deserved ❤
Hope that groom continues to lose his hair line and gets cheated on by every relationship he has
Hey. Take it easy on us receeders
@smegmatic308 don't worry it's only for those people who treat others bad
I stopped telling bad dates what the issue was. If I wasn't going to see them anymore then no reason to waste my breathe explaining to them. This actually helps other women because he most likely isn't going to have a true change of heart to become a better person, he's going to learn how to hide his faults better. That means that next lady is going to have to waste even more time with him before discovering how horrendous he is. Let him wave those red flags proudly for all the world to see. It's a courtesy to everyone else:)
I agree 💯 %. They need to reflect and work on themselves if they want to improve their relationship skills. Telling them the answers does nothing to help them truly learn. If they truly mean well, they will self reflect.
@@rickhunter7443 I mean, that's one take. Maybe you keep consistently picking the wrong types. Or, maybe the ghosting is for a reason, you just don't know what that reason is.
@@rickhunter7443 Maybe there is a reason... maybe you just have different vibes, patterns and don't click with many people (I have the same issue, it is hard to find people with whom I can "click" - with friends and romantic partners). Regardless of your dating - work on yourself for yourself, physically and mentally. Then you will be more happy:)
@@rickhunter7443Choose better women lmao simple
This is exactly what I’ve done! I’m not going to help them be able to mask better the next time.
👏🏻 I was once taught that we are not airports, we don’t need to announce our departure.
The first time l walked away mid anything was on a conversation with my father. I didn’t explain in the moment and didn’t thereafter… and I was terrified of how he would react. By the time he rejoined me, to my surprise he not only didn’t react negatively towards me but completely cleaned up his attitude on his own… and never brought up the incident again. Men KNOW when they’ve done you wrong and we have to start holding them responsible even starting with our fathers.
BEING ABLE TO HOLD UR FATHER ACCOUNTABLE IS THE START OF BEING ABLE TO HOLD ANY MAN ACCOUNTABLE
Yes. They ABSOLUTELY know what they're doing.
You did exactly the right thing. Kudos! 💙
I am proud of you! But honestly posts like this make me think maybe staying alone is the best option than teaching bad/indifferent/inconsiderate men why you are human, why you are valuable and why you deserve basic respect, empathy and consideration when they actually KNEW that what they were doing to you was wrong. Very psychopathic vibes from so many men
When I watched that first video I was so heartbroken for her. Not only she organized a beautiful wedding which was obviously very expensive, but her vows were so amazing, it made him look like a great partner, but then he spoke. I never wanted to hit someone through the screen so bad.
she knew who he was before & during all that planning. She needs therapy, not pity, bc he wont change and she knew it & married him anyways. This (he) is embarrasing.
@@patty-pat-patExactly. A healthy person would likely feel anger and offence when treated that way. Instead she was defeated accepting. That ain’t right!
He’s not emotionally intelligent.
We should have men reading their vows first then women’s because no way am I pouring my heart out publicly so you can humiliate me later on. He’s going to say I love you/propose/read his vows first and THEN I’ll see how I feel.
@@patty-pat-patShe still deserves pity, but she has to want to change things before anyone helps her.
That man who learned Korean for his new family warmed 🥰 my heart. As a foreigner, that is the ultimate type of proposal.
If the man is gatekeeping marriage excessively.... That's not a man you want anyway! He should be trying to impress you.
Lmao yes like who do they think they aree
I’ve tried to impress women, and sure, some are impressed with what I’ve done in life, but most just go about their day the next day. At the end of the day, you can’t be a people pleaser. You have to work on yourself and be impressive FOR yourself, not others. I could serve others, but I’ll never try to be a peacock. That has always felt disgusting and it has never been my true self, and it’s been stressful. I’d rather sit under my tree and meditate. Thanks.
My friend and I were so confused as to why we were having such a hard time dating because we both considered ourselves low maintenance. We made the naïve assumption that treating us with the respect, decency, and excitement associated with being with a person you like WAS low maintenance. We had to find out the hard way that most men only offer LESS than that and will get mad at you for demanding you are treated like a person. To a man, “low maintenance” means “will allow men to trample all over them”
amen, sis
I saw a post someone put out that said “the only reason a man would say something sexually suggestive in his wedding vows is to signal to other men that he is still getting laid” and I think this is no less repugnant than the option portrayed here but lines up better with what I know about men. The result is the same, that man does not care and does not deserve even a minute of his wife’s love and attention.
I keep saying this, if they love bros and can only respect bros so much: M should only date M.
They sure live only to please other M....
Please tell me that woman isn't still with that gross groom. She deserves so much better.
She knew what she was marrying. I doubt he just started acting like that at the ceremony.
she knew what he was like. and now that the internet is having a negative reaction, she seems like the type to stick around to "prove" they can make it.
@@KoiinuNe That is what a masochist would do.
She seems like a pick me.
@@gailainsley6939they have 3 kids together. She definitely gave him an ultimatum. She definitely knows how he behaves because he said he wasn't going to change his vows cause it was enough for her since she's still with him
When he said “We’ve made it this far” after being disrespectful to his wife on their wedding day in front on family, friends and priest lets me know this woman isn’t going anywhere.
She’s gonna stick by her man and she’s gonna be a married single mother.
Imagine not being able to be loving on your literal wedding day. Throw him away.
And all these people, including the pastor don't pause to ask her if she is sure about this move😢. Why are our friends and families allowing us to be in places where we are disrespected?
@@nbee6217 if you continue to analyse this story you will understand that the reason this woman was so traumatised and codependent and letting a man to mistreat her.....might have something to do with her upbringing and how she was treated by people closest to her, they shape you and set the pattern :)
@@nbee6217 Because we're grownups. She doesn't seem fazed by his behavior so it's probably nothing new to her or anyone else. Her loved ones have probably already talked to her about it multiple times but somehow she still ended up at the altar, so it's all on her now.
@@senojoy12473 What's worse for the second woman is they have 3 daughters. The cycle keeps going.
When women realize that most men are incapable of love and treat them accordingly, the happier you will be. Trust me.
Yes! Whenever a man acts up, take your presence away from them. You don't even need to explain yourself.
Thank you! I needed this reminder!
Since early October I stopped texting a guy back who constantly just kept texting me, "how are you?" and asking me to go to lunch or see a movie *as a friend* at the _very_ last minute.
I had delusional faith he'd be the Alex to my Leila Hormozi since he's started two thriving businesses this year after a nasty divorce that he's still vocally traumatized from. My initial sympathy, empathy, and listening ear just grew too tired for a BBMLEM, despite how much we have in common around money and business.
I literally JUST started thinking of him this week so this video was perfect timing. 😅😂
@@jessitabonitabest avoiding men who’ve been married and now divorced, most divorced men seek new relationships out within the first year after divorce. Best to avoid them at all costs for your own sake, you dodged a bullet.
@@rattgod exactly! If he was a catch, his wife wouldn't have left him
@@jessitabonita What does BBMLEM mean?
@@robynr3130 Below Bare Minimum Low Effort Men
You need to hear it over and over again! “You need to be high maintenance! The people who want you to be low maintenance are the ones who want to take advantage of you!”
💥👏🏽💥👏🏽💥👏🏽
the saddest part is that in order for a man to disrespect her like this in the wedding it means that he probably already disrespected her millions of times when they were dating in way worse ways , so she already acts like is ok bc he gastlighted her in to believing that that behavior is ok :(
I'm tired and done teaching men. You taught me to stop responding to the negging, attn seeking, alph-alphas. Ignore and block are my new besties.
Alph-alphas 😂
"You need to teach people how to treat you" was the most damaging thing that my mom taught me. Now I block, delete, and repeat.
@@novanoire93 I'm happy for you ❤
@Ihavemadeit999 Thank you. 💜
@@novanoire93Wait hold on, to a certain extent that's true but I don't think you should overdo it or hold someone's hand through the entire process. I also believe what you allow does teach ppl what's accepted.
My grandpa who just passed away said, "Women marry the man expecting the man to change. Men marry the woman expecting things to stay the same." It really stuck with me, and I have gotten out of so msny bad relationships with bad men who I knew wouldn't change. I finally found a good one, and I'm so happy. Never settle for the bare minimum or less, and never expect the man will change for the better.
Based Grandpa
I don't think it's a good idea to "teach" the grown men how to be "better" because it's not changing their perspective on respecting women. Instead it's teaching them how to con women into falling into their sunk cost fallacy.
Yes! Don't give them a cheat code to cover their ass.
Well. This is just accurate on 10 thousand levels
YESSS!!!
Yes! If you teach men how to be better, that will just create narcissistic men who will pretend to like women in order to marry women without truly loving and respecting them.
I disagree somewhat, I dont think you need to go out of your way to teach men, but if someone asks what he did wrong because you lost interest, I dont think its wrong/bad to vocalize that because it teaches the person what not to do in the future anymore. I've received feedback from past dates and it has helped me be better. Don't confuse normal men with men who manipulate others.
These guys can't wait to make you a situational hostage 🙄
like okay steven crowder
Omg it describes my relationships perfectly - when I had my money and high self esteem, they were behaving nice. When I was feeling sad or lost my job - boom, they show their true face and deny my growth.
Exactly. I was in 1 of those for 8 years.
They like seeing you in a socially vulnerable place and they fear loosing you so revel in the control they can have to keep you in their court.
Guy: walks up to altar, farts. "thats all I got"
Honestly can see that being a thing lmao 💀
I’ve been spending the Christmas period with a ton of baby boomer relatives and I’ve come to realise the men are enjoying their retirement and the women have yet to retire! They may not have a career anymore but the women are the ones watching and playing with the grandkids, doing the cooking, the cleaning, scheduling restaurants and social outings etc. I’m honestly so annoyed and horrified at what I’m seeing. Husbands are labour, ladies. They are labour for the rest of your lives. Think about that. Trust me, unless they come with the capacity to earn and provide a lot of resources and provide some emotional support, I would seriously question what a basic man is really doing for you. The single aunties have seriously good lives. Never let men trick you into thinking they’re doing you a favour with that ring. Far out this period has been a HUGE eye opener.
💯 Dropping a comment here so this can be seen more by others.
💯💯💯
Thank you. You're so right. @@TK-el4sr
Yes, agreed 👍💯
After years dude asked my friend what he did wrong. Not to apologize, nor make it up, but to _do it better with the next woman._ He literally _said that to her face!_ 🤮🚮
Heck no I've had men contact me the same way saying I gave them so much insight I tell them IDC and block them immediately 🙄
You don’t owe them anything
Yes, for most men, it has NOTHING to do with making amends. It has to do with learning from their mistakes so they’ll do better with the next woman. Do the sisterhood a favor and DON’T tell him.
@@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living True. And the vague promise of amends can be pure bait, to harvest more time and energy. Some may even ostentatiously do big things for the new partner that they denied the former.
Besides, he surely knew very well what to do better after years of relationship. He kept engaging her, as if to fix it. Then saying 'I want to do better, _for whoever comes after you'_ is such a spit in the face. I'm still appalled for her.
I had 1:1 same situation. Just blocked him
NORMALISE LEAVING MEN AT THE ALTAR ❤ I wish I did that 😭 he left me at 3 weeks pregnant
I'm so sorry that happened to you 🥺
I am so sorry that happened to you! Be strong and I hope he stays far away from you as possible ❤️
@@80sbrunnette thank you
Worth it.
Wish you happiness, joy, abundance and healing 🙏❤✨ you got this sis please stay strong and develop faith in your better brighter future
It’s soooo true, marriage never makes it better, it makes existing problems worse!
Same with having a baby, it doesn’t fix a broken relationship it only exacerbates the existing fault lines
@@SheilaPattersonand the person who suffers the most is the baby, that child then grows up in a dysfunctional chaotic home.
Omg Instagamrr!!! I watched you so much years ago. So many memories have been unlocked. Time to rewatch. Hope all is well!
So does adding CHILDREN...It makes things WORSE!!!
Yup. Men have better lives with women in them. It's not the same for women!
@@gailainsley6939 just came to the realisation that outside of my family i pretty much never met a man thats not: rude, or disrespectfull, or lustfull, or trying to take advantage of me, or abusive, or bullys or all of the above...
idk if its my bad luck or its just how majority of men are.... i dont get it tho the men in my family are all verry nice as far as i know..
@@valreck2986 that's what we are doing. Lol. 💁🏽♀️✨️
@@JustMe-vs1kj most are horrible people. A good man is hard to find.
@@gravityclarityit depends on your personal experiences and perspective, men say the same thing about women.
@@gunpuppy3533 plus the literal statistics showing that women who are married are less happy and even die sooner. But the opposite is true for men. Men overall benefit from having women in their lives. Women overall do not.
We need to stop ignoring reg flags. We need to stop being afraid to leave because were “in too deep” or “what will my family think”. We as women need to start putting ourselves FIRST, always. Dont let men shame you for spending time, money, effort on yourself and your female friendships and doing whatever makes you happy. A men who respects you will respect who you are, what you love, who you love, and encourage you to peruse those things. He will never shy of showing you how much you mean to him. He will be proud to bring you around, to make you happy, to introduce you to the people he respects. If you EVER doubt a man respects you, RUN. even if he is gorgeous, even if the sex is amazing, even if his family loves you and yours him, even is hes perfect on paper. Your happiness is the most important thing.
Yes, yes, and YES! It's hard, but the earlier you do it, the easier it will be regardless of how long it has already been. Do it now. Time's a wastin' as they say.
Omg great comment, I will take notes from this. Thank you sis for helping me to get more confidence
My mother thought she could change my trashy father. I told her "that's one of the most stupid things I've ever heard. Just because you're in your legal age, doesn't mean you're gonna think straight. Didn't anybody oppose?
How could you make such stupid decisions and then drag me into the picture?" She was speechless.
Ahh.. The pain of the decisions our precious mothers make..
@@TK-el4sr Exactly. It made me respect child-free people so much. I also respect single mothers who made the brave and right decision to not anymore live with their toxic partners because they don't want the environment to be damaging for the kids.
@@TK-el4sr To give you more context, my mother is a college graduate but is the type of woman who is not brave enough to become a single mother and chose to be treated like a rug by my unemployed father. Just because someone is a college graduate doesn't mean they can make the right decisions. I know so many single mothers who didn't finish college and are doing way better than my mother. Now I have acquired so much trauma and I strongly feel like I'm gonna be needing a lifetime of mental health therapy. The damage has been done. I have so much anger for m!ndless breeders aka. parents who don't deserve to become parents.
@@callmebabyzee no one should ever use children as pawjs to fix a relationship, and because of that now you're gonna be traumatized forever
Once you get a weird feeling about someone, you need to leave. Intuition is ALWAYS right
I literally just cried at that last clip. There ARE amazing men that will love & respect you- no commitment untill you find that ONE ladies ✊️
Yes, it gave me goosebumps ❤ So sweet
Me too ❤❤❤ it was beautiful
If a guy wants to be with you despite thinking he won't be accepted by your family, your society or culture but still makes a strong effort, that is true love!
I feel like many women are capable of making these strong efforts for men but when you see a guy like the one at the end of the video, he's a rare gem.
Exactly, I'm 22 and never been in a relationship, until I find the one. If I don't, I prefer to remain single, v¡rg¡n and childless with the company of family and friends.
@@Sunshine_Hime Same!
Plenty of men are simply LUCKY at all to be in our presence, to even talk to them.
Big facts!
@@mafamac4069 I explain to my sons all the time how much work it is to be a woman. I’m raising them to be self-aware, unlike the current majority of men. Most current men have been raised to be selfish and narcissistic. I explain all these things to my sons and teach them history and reasoning to back up these facts.
@@mafamac4069this is just cruel to teach them that. You're pretty much ruining their self esteem from the beginning
@@scary5455Nora was also a woman who dealt with suicidal ideation prior to socially presenting as a man, but yeah maybe men have it wise cause women have it sooooo easy and don’t ever commit suicide let alone attempt more often than men.
@@devonmatthews8197Yea we were hence why most of you off yourselves
I was a runaway bride and let me tell you, it was the best decision i've ever made. I was too young and nieve and didn't pull the plug until it was almost too late. it's never ever too late to start over!
I had 3 boyfriends in my life, and all three of them asked me to marry them. I'm a bit afraid to start relationships now, because I have to learn about the person more before they gather all our friends and families together to mentally blackmail me into marrying them.
The is my nightmare scenario, proposal not only in very public space but also in front of my family and friends. I want to believe my friends would tackle the guy and take him away, but my family, especially my parents, would pressure me to say „yes”. Glad you got away from this hostage proposal.
Say "maybe" if you can't muster a "no" at a public proposal, like in Working Girl. 😊
1) my husband made me cry tears of happiness on our wedding day - that’s how it should be!
2) black cat/golden retriever works for small things, too. Just last night I had asked my husband to clean up a package and wrapper mess from the table. He had got distracted with something else so I asked him again later before bed. He threw a mini tantrum. I was like - I shouldn’t ask you twice like I’m not your mom vibe. And I gave him black cat energy when we got in bed (he knew immediately he fucked up) and he switched to golden retriever energy, apologized and cuddled, agreeing even tho he was tired it wasn’t unreasonable to keep the kitchen clean for a few seconds worth of work. I was like. Yup. ✨ Humans aren’t perfect but boundaries are everything and I desire a clean kitchen (and not cleaning up after him constantly) so I will enforce the boundary.
We have a Belgian Malinois who is mischievous and tests boundaries allll the time kinda like a big dangerous cat. So I equate that mischievous boundary testing cheeky behavior to a Malinois when men do it (vs a black cat). Us ladies we’ve got claws or can purr like a cat 🐈⬛
Screenshoting this to keep it as a reminder
Walking away and blocking is more than enough communication with these guys. They know. They KNOW.
I almost cried at the Korean wedding vow. That was so powerful.
Yes, it really was.
I totally cried ❤
I cried too, that was so wonderful. I wish I will find someone like him
It’s sweet when someone learns a language so that he/she can communicate with you in your native tongue.
didn't expect to be crying because of a random video of a guy speaking Korean but here i am
I cried too ❤😢
Me too❤
My Uncle is 62 years old, has never been married and still lives with my grandmother, I now how it ends for these men who never have families for themselves, they end up alone and bitter and resentful. It's sad.
Yikes. Poor gramma
You missed the fact that he is dependent ON HIS MOTHER at the ripe age of 62 like he is disabled... No words for that.
@@Zuzzamma I'd never defend a man, but he's not dependent on her, just living with her, maybe he takes care of her?
@@reginageorgetownuni oh. Right...
My uncle is 50 and is living in the shed of my gmas house. These types of men are common. He's also sexist and a deadbeat father
Gosh why didn’t I have access to video like these 10 years ago…My Latin female community needs a HUGE wake up call.
How bad is it in the Latin community lol
Were basically raised to tolerate bad behaviors and stick through all bee ess. (Sorry im always flagged for language 😂)
Luckily my mom didnt tolerate this behavior and raised me and my sister not to.
It's because there is the assumption that she already wants the marriage and he finally got around to asking.
Exactly. What's so wrong with women wanting to test a fella out before committing. No woman these days "waits around" for marriage. The good guys who treat her right will propose soon anyway.
seriously.. ladies start truly expressing your feelings to men, CRY, pretending everything is fine is doing no one favors.
Once. I got very stressed and emotionally overwhelmed/burdened by my husband. I left the house without a word to just go to Dollar General and buy some chocolate for myself. I just needed space. He immediately hung up the phone he was having a convo with his friend’s dad and called me. He went for a walk and returned after I got home and was very present. I told him it wasn’t his FAULT. It wasn’t. But I was touched by his attentiveness to my absence.
You said you were "very stressed and emotionally overwhelmed/burdened by my husband" but then you said it wasn't his fault.
Yes, it WAS his fault. We infanticize men and accept the bare minimum.
We can and MUST do better!
I do hope you find true happiness and joy in your life. 💙
It's the parents of the GROOM who should be paying a dowry! For covering all of the wife's unpaid labor over the course of the marriage. The wife can invest it right after the wedding; then if her husband dumps her in middle age, she'll have retirement savings or something to live off if she goes back to school. Also, if he proposes, tell him you'll say yes, but only after he's done "women's work" for a year. He has to cook, clean, do the mental load, do your laundry, take care of you when you're sick, and do all the planning for the holidays for ONE YEAR, before you'll say yes 😈. If he can't handle that, maybe he's not the one!
Also explain that you will not do "women's work" for the rest of your lifes, sharing ALL LOAD EQUALLY IS A MUST!!!
In some societies they do. It's a "bride price"
Yeah I tried that and he did an amazing job. But it was all an act - basically he was a long-game con man.
your spite will never make you happy
They say male loneliness epidemic as if there hasn’t been a VAW epidemic which is far more serious than some man without motivation to evolve being alone!!!
THIS!
👍🏽
What's VAW?
Edit. Literally as soon as I commented and was thinking of what it could be, Im like oh, violence against women 🤦♀️
I've been saying this repeatedly. I don't carr about men's loneliness and I'm tired of seeing women make videos about it and NOT TALKING ABOUT THEIR VIOLENCE
imagine thinking theyre mutually exclusive
I never tell them what they did wrong, I just leave. The reason is, some of them are smart enough to make corrections based on what you teach them, just enough to play another woman. We aren’t helping the next woman because they understood and corrected their behavior. We hurt the next woman because they correct their behavior with the intention of continuing to use women, it’s just disguised better because of the prior women’s ‘help’.
At first I thought, “hold up isn’t it like pulling teeth to get a man to be faithful for 2 seconds let alone get married?” So it’s like either settle for less or nothing at all.
But no, we should not be letting these low effort Larrys get anywhere near an alter until they prove they can deliver. We do need to be doing better and also removing the harmful social stigma that being single woman is a fate worse that death and being stuck in a marriage with someone who doesn’t value you is.
Totally going to be using “Low Effort Larry’s from now on.”
@@blueberrybabe4192 😂 me too!
@@blueberrybabe4192 don’t forget about bare minimum Brian
@@McOofy someone sounds bitter.
Mr. Gentleman learning Korean for his wife and new family members was sooooo sweet! 😭
I just love what Elizabeth Olsen said on one of the talking shows. "No is a full sentence". We should normalize saying no without giving explanations
They say "we don't need women" but they want at least one of us to be their wife so they can mess around and in the end, someone will take care of them. Like, live your life bro, dont get married and live your life ALONE bc you dont need us!!!!!
I agree that it's not our responsibility to teach men how to be better. Instead of trying to "be his peace," prioritize being your own peace by choosing to leave and never looking back.
not getting into the sunken cost fallacy is so IMPORTANT, definetely gonna keep an eye on that in the new year 2024
Work on you. Full stop.
Farmland high maintenance, golden retriever, black cat energy, etc
Sucking up these new vocabs like I'm in my ESL class. Gosh I LOVE this support group 😂❤
"Standing on business:" don't. Girlies, just don't. Not only is it not your task to educate these men who have no interest in changing, you could actually be putting yourself at risk by doing so. The fact that you are not giving a man the results he wants could trigger a strong hemotional response. Staying in that situation to justify or explain your boundaries could only escalate the situation to the point your life is at risk. You don't owe this man any explanation. Trust your gut, say you need to change your tampon, and leave. ✌🏻 💙
Yes! Yes! Yes! I was thinking the same thing. You never know what they might do. Don't say ANYTHING! Just immediately get up and leave!
I’m totallyy in my black cat energy, ive learned so many lessons on feminine energy from my 3 black cats 😆
or u can get a SLAAAY farm and get ur feminine energy from all differend animals
most animals ARE FEMALE u need just 1 male for reproduction ONLY
bees u can get ur queen and leader energy from them
cows ,chickens ,ducks etc
ALL FEMALE
also male animals are less useless than male humans
actualy work and are nice
a rooster treats hes flock better than men their wife
also if u as a woman become a farmer
ud care for them better than a man
cuz u know eaven when ur childless how hard motherhood is etc so ud spoil the ''pregnant ''chickens or cows
also fun fact eggs are same thing as we do 1 a month
their unferitlised egg is bigger just
Not me with my orange cat😭
Literally learning my resting feminine behaviour from my dog (she’s literally always sitting and resting so peacefully even when she walks low-key inspiring😭😭)
@@777goddess😂😂😂😂
Ideally I'd like to be black cat energy but I think most of the time I'm orange cat energy hahaha @@agitsjean7612
You pay quadruple because you will have his children 🤮🤮
I feel it's just so tied with history of women being treated as property and married off for the gains of men around them. Women have always been looked at as assets for men. I think that's where the want to be picked to be married stems from. It's so convulated and messed up. I'm glad women have started standing up for themselves. We've come a long way
Some men keep you by promising marriage and get all the benefits while you wait and get exploited. You have to realize it before it’s too late
Fully agree with this. But wouldn't that mean that men are absolutely gatekeepers of relationships/marriage?
@@19LuLe96 men used to have to pay to have someone’s daughter as their bride. You always value something more when you have to work for it. Men hold all the power that’s why they run around trying to convince us all they dont. They literally used to have to pay and now we have been convinced the bare minimum is acceptable. It’s ridiculous
The bar is so low that men can hold marriage over the woman’s head as a reward all while reaping the benefits of having her around. I hope that these younger generations change the brainwashing that a lot of women in my age group received. The cool girl and the “at least he comes home “ girl and the “I’m just so happy he remembers my birthday “ girl are the products of media full of misinformation and misogyny
@@19LuLe96that’s the reverse psychology being mentuoned
They get all the benefits by you marrying them. Simply living with a man married or not is more beneficial to him.
He said "it's been working so far" like he's kinda surprised she's still taking his abuse. He's gonna keep pushing and pushing and pushing. He will not stop.
"you can't change a man, but you can CHANGE (replace) a man"
I love you Elle. Please don't grow tired of preaching your gospel to us spoiled girlies ❤. I promise you,the congregation is growing and soon we will all know exactly who we are... The Ultimate Prize 🏆
but you can change "the" man*
you really cant change or replace anything though, it will be a different experience
We are absolutely the gatekeepers of everything and ladies you need to step into that power! If you want to get married, stop giving men all the benefits of marriage without the marriage. Don’t move in with him, don’t give him all your time and energy unless and until he proves that he is worthy (and gives you the ring). And then maybe, if he plays his cards right, he might convince you to marry him. That’s the vibe. If he doesn’t prove it within a certain time, just cut him off. Don’t drop hints, don’t ask him if he’s going to marry you, don’t even mention it. If he wants to he will, if he doesn’t just walk away. My timeline was 12 mths. That was how much time a man had to convince me he was marriage material. My husband from the beginning was courting me with that energy of I’m the prize and he is the one who needs to convince me to choose him. That’s how it should be. Anything less than that is disrespectful and not worthy of your time and energy and everything you give.
My husband absolutely made me the prize - and I was. But as soon as he got the marriage certificate the mask came off.
A womans time is a lot more valuable than a man's time. ❤
I looove this comment section... If all women spoke like You, Miss - then the world would be driven by women just like in a Barbie movie !!
Agreed
@@agwinmoorein case she wants kids she's on a biological clock
@@agwinmoore in addition to the biological clock: per default women just have a lot more options to choose from than men. Limited time + more options = the necessity for very selective behavior
Men used to understand that back when they knew to always pay for dates. If I’m going on a date with you and giving you my very precious, biologically-valuable time: you’re paying.
You don't understand how much you have helped me grow and raise my standard. Thank you so much
exactly.
I came across that repulsive video from another creator who stitched takes from multiple women on TikTok. The one that stood out the most was the woman who said the bride most likely is surrounded by people in her life who despise her, so her acceptance of this behavior from her husband was normalized because that's all she knows.... people near her embarrassing her and being disrespectful to her because they don't like her. It's obvious that her self esteem isn't high at all.
I hope she is aware of the backlash and saves herself from this trainwreck of a marriage.
Anyway....thank you for ending the video on such a beautiful note. That last clip literally brought me to tears. A man who truly loves his woman will go the extra mile. He will do the most, no matter how challenging it is, simply because he loves her. Bravo to the husband, and may their marriage be greatly blessed.
I appreciate you, Elle. Thank you. ❤
I cried at the end of the groom's speech. It was beautiful.
Me too. I wish to meet someone like that 😊
Saaaame! My husband also gave sweet vows that made me cry! He also did that leaning swoop kiss at the alter and at the end of our first dance like… that’s *swoon vibes* Learning a whole language for her is AMAZING!! ✨ That’s what we’re here for!!
@@schuylergeery-zink1923 where do you meet such a man?
I will no longer explain why im leaving them and how they can do better, I made a habit of it and im done. I don't owe them that, especially considering most men will literally block or ghost women without a second thought
I used to be the woman who would explain to every man I encountered what he did wrong in order to help the next woman but not anymore. Especially after I saw that most men went on to treat their next girl the same way they treated me. It was just a waste of my time and effort.
I used to explain to men exactly what they did wrong and plead and be clear about my feelings and boundaries and emotions and be patient when they screwed up. And you know ehat would happen? Nothing would change because that person dors not care about making you feel bad. They get an ego boost that you still choose to be with them no matter how much they hurt you. 🤮 Some people really believe you should be willing to suffer for their love. It's sick and its not your job to teach people how to treat you. Sure, set boundaries and be clear about what you want but if you find yourself having to remind someone how to treat you, it's likely a waste of time and you're gonna have to decide if this is a deal breaker.
"you cant change a man but you can change the man" SCREAMING
Men love to push boundaries. ABSOLUTELY!! When you mislead him into believing that he is able to take the opportunity, you’ll be ending up as a pushover
Word! Normalize leaving the date. Stop caring about being rude to man who is vile 8:49
Elle thank you for including a piece abot the real man here, we need more examples like this. This was so touching yet thoughtful to the detail. He started speaking with her parents first, because it's an important part of Korean culture - giving respect to older first, so heartwarming
19 and found my second bf,now ex, gave me bare minimum, I expected bare minimum. 21, broke up with him, moved to another country, stayed single and healed/worked on myself for 2 years. Got my own place and started my education. 23, found a many that is way better looking, far more educated than my ex and he treats me like a freaking princess and spoils me emotionally, logically and physically without me asking. He’s emotionally mature, and fair and him being in my life is a wonderful addition. ❤️ Protect yourself ladies and the work in the wait is worth it!
I honestly hope that by some crazy coincidence the woman from the first video finds this episode and hears Elle say "Run, okay? RUN!"
“Your personal character development is not on me” Oh I needed to hear that so bad this year damn
You consistently put out brilliant content. Watching this right before i leave for a date. Thank you
Hope he's a Golden Retriever for you. Best of luck! 🎉
@@MrsLadyLiberty tysm, i fully claim this!! He’s driving from a few states away to see me, so i might have gotten lucky and found a good man!
Thank you for this sis! I went on a date after taking a break and being celibate for over a year. despite me and him having genuine chemistry, him putting effort and thought into planning our first date and paying for it w no prob(bare min i know) he had the AUDACITY to trauma dump, talk about his ex, his Canadian hookup and how another woman blew him off. All on the first date 🤢 i should’ve ran right then and there but I was trapped in a botanica garden lol. I did block and delete after ✨ these men are truly NOT men-ing and its sooo disappointing
Not everything deserves a response or reaction. I live by this statement and it’s completely changed my life. You’re not wrong!!
Thank you for pointing out the benefits and gifts a woman automatically brings to men in marriage. There's so many guys who have the nerve to ask "what are you bringing to the table?",as if they don't know,men of old already knew the value a woman can bring to your life.
Came at the speed of light once I saw that notification-
I just block and move on. I don’t have the time to raise a man. We’re adults.
Says the woman who wants everything's paid for like she's a child.
9:40 they are NOT actually saving the next woman by staying with this man, they just spoil this men (in a bad way) a make him sure that even if he acts like sht he'll find smn. So they are actually making them worse for other women they approve ill behaviour
sorry if I'm sharp here, I appreciate what you are doing
Yah IF he learns (big if they’re honestly probs a waste of energy) then he’d just mask his shittiness a little longer which doesn’t help the next lady either.
Wow, you literally need to teach a college class on this you are so amazing. I got out of an 11 year relationship this year and I’m 31. I definitely lost valuable time as a woman when it comes to fertility. But it was the best choice I ever made. He was never going to change, and, you are right, it would’ve just gotten worse if we got married. That’s what he knows because that’s what his mother put up with but I’m not doing it.
Damn even the priest was like "boy that's it???That's the hill you ganna fry on??"😂😂😂😂 He did sound ummmmm deep south conservative so not to surprised
It's important to set boundaries, not just in a relationship but with everyone in your life.
Be a "hard to get " type of woman.
As someone who wants a healthy marriage with a golden retriever man in the future, I need to set high boundaries.
One of them is no kissing and no intimacy until he is officially my husband in the eyes of the government.
Even when he's a fiancé, he won't get any sort of intimacy. Engagements can be broken easily.
Also, I personally don't believe in teaching a man how to behave or interact with a woman. I would simply sit and watch him silently on how he interacts with me. If I don't like any of his behaviour, it's a no from me.
Why should I help/teach him what he did wrong.
It's not my job... Sorry 🙂
I'm not a "build a bro" type.
Uh, that's a nice fantasy when you're a virginal teenager, but speaking as a grown ass woman you are going to deeply regret not testing his kiss until the wedding night. 😂😂😂
My ex made it seem like he was the catch in our relationship. He was divorced with 3 kids, I've never been married with no kids, I had to deal with baby mama drama but he didn't have to on my end. I work and support myself, he wouldn't even pay for a mani/pedi as a gift.
Actually men DO gatekeep marriage, that's the base of Patriarchy (and women didn't have a choice) but it is now our duty as women to fight it, and gatekeep ourselves.
@@gailainsley6939so true🤣🤣
I mean it depends on the power dynamics but yes they do to insecure women who just want a ring
@@gailainsley6939Women have power u like men hence why they are crying about being lonely
No they never did, not with every women, only with pickmeishas . Usually, women pick their mates, just like any other a female in the animal kingdom. Back in the days, men would ask the woman's father for permission.
That gatekeeping is more about the ressources accessible IN marriage like money, social/physical protection. When women don’t need men to provide any of these for their survival- men are not gatekeeping anything anymore. Now these men need to demonstrate extra qualities on top of money or social status to entice a woman into a lifelong labour relationship.
agree that we don't have to teach them behave better, to my mind, it's the opposite - we teach them to hide their true self better, red flag doesn't disappear, we just help to cover it green paint
I observed that. They try to respond with what you would like to hear.
Wow this is exactly how my marriage went. I’m divorced now. I’m glad I left, no regrets. I didn’t know this was so common. My black cat ex husband didn’t have vows either. And I smiled through that BS. Please listen to this advice ladies! I learned too late. I’m glad this information is out there for younger women to take heed! It’s never too late to leave.