i was a pickme… and i regret it [“i hate roses” pickme]
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- čas přidán 25. 12. 2023
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In this episode, Elle discusses her past experiences as a "pickme" - a term she uses to describe women who compromise their own desires to cater to others. She shares her journey of self-discovery, self-acceptance, and her struggle with jealousy and envy. Elle talks about the importance of acknowledging one's desires and not letting jealousy stand in the way of achieving them. She emphasizes the importance of being truthful to oneself, and how it led her to a path of fulfillment and satisfaction. Elle also discusses the detrimental impact of being the target of jealousy and how she learned to navigate through it. The episode is a candid reflection of Elle's personal experiences and a call to action for women to embrace their true desires without fear of judgement or envy.
Keywords: fear of being seen, pickme
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The audacity to insult someone’s gift AS THEY’RE RECEIVING IT. “I hate roses” so ?? It’s her gift !!
So crazy right... she couldn't help it. The envy was too sharp and uncomfortable so she deflected. She likely didn't even mean it. ❤
literally, like nobody asked you!
She probably didn't even realize she said it out loud
"I hate roses" girl there were never yours... the fact that she felt the need to express that when noone asked, is a sign of jealousy!
I dont hate roses i just prefer sunflower🌻 my fav floweers
Everyone has diff preferencesnof fav flowers 🌸🌺🌻🌹🌷🌼💐
The only situation I would get sad for receiving roses would be if my boyfriend knows it's not my fav flower, but gets them anyway 😬
@@levtieart3409 We got that. We're talking about the video, hun. Would you sit there and YELL that you hate the gift that wasn't even given to you? Because that's what we are discussing.
I think it could have been insecurity more than jealousy. Maybe she has some subconscious tic going on, where she has to deny that she wants anything better so her man can't condemn or criticize her for wanting it, you know?
so weird, it's like walking up to someone who experiences a good thing and then letting them know that they would HATE if that happened to them. As if, nobody asked. lol
So true!! I stopped entertaining "male friends" these past 3 months and accepting the bare minimum. I blocked the guys who told me that my expectations were too high, and stopped giving them access to my time and energy. Skip to this Christmas eve, a guy I went on 2 dates with is sending me money in hopes that I unblock him "So that he can hear my voice again." It literally pays to have self respect, expectations and boundaries. Don't settle ladies
This is so satisfying to read 😻
lol love this! It’s amazing how things can change even if they are still unusual cases. Stack that money 😂
Are you going to unblock him though?
Dont unblock him.
um. don't unblock him. you are inviting hassle, headache, manipulation, and trouble. you're still a pick-me if you unblock a DB that deserves to be blocked. please don't do it.
Storytime:
Years ago, I dated a guy for a couple months, he chased me until I gave in.
Fast forward a few months, his WIFE is chewing me out over text.
Me being horrified this dude is married, I sent all the msgs between us so she could see her husband was terrible & I had no idea about her.
She acted like she won a competition by "winning" her husband back (I didn't want him when I found out he was married), to this day, this woman is still married to him, thinking she won a competition in her head...
I can't imagine justifying keeping a man around like that, u forgive something that big, he knows u will continue to forgive for everything & justify it in ur head by blaming "the other woman".
Women, value yourselves & don't accept these sort of men, u aren't winning anything!
Omg I and the same thing happen with another woman ages ago. Basically I had a guy pursue me however because I had commitment issues at the time (I was in my early 20s and just gotten out of a really shit relationship) it was just a casual thing. However mean while I also had this other woman messaging me who at the time was a mutual friend of mine. I really there there was no way there was anything going on with them that was anything major mostly because he would flirt with me in front of her and she seemed perfectly fine. When she was messaging me asking about this mystery guy I was seeing (we agreed to keep our thing under wraps as it wasn’t anything serious) I really thought she actually knew and was playing wingman/ matchmaker for him as they were way better friends. Fast forward some time and based on growing suspicion I left an Easter egg where only if she was into him she would pick up on. That’s when everything surfaced and although half the time we were bonding over how trash he was, she was also like “oh yeah he was just doing all that because he’s so into me but is scared of his feelings so that’s why he was using you fur his ego”. Idk bout most people but that’s the first time I’ve heard of a man cheating out of love. Even trashed her behind her back to me completely unprompted. In fact that was one of the reasons I started suspecting. Anyways after we ended he was caught a few more times trying to cheat with other mutual friends of hers and somehow they ended up together.
so sad that some women have so little self worth
That's so sick that both of them to make you involved in their crazy relationship dynamics. Bro, they both sound toxic af. 😂
@ghibilibibili3080 I think the married woman thinks her husbands value went up because another woman would date him.
In her eyes she probably thought "I have this great man that I have to fight all these women that want to come into my marriage & be a home wrecker".
And she justifies keeping a cheating dog of a husband by telling herself that "the trashy homewrecker" knew about his marriage the entire time & pursued & manipulated this poor weak man with her magical seductress powers hahahaha.
Then after cussing me out, she feels like she's won, he chose her over the other woman.
Totally mental.
Her self worth would just be non existent.
Oh man, it's embarrassing to admit that at one point, I was the "I hate roses" girl. The internalized misogyny brainwashes you into disliking or being ashamed of anything inherently feminine. You want to be an "easy, down to earth" woman. You don't want to be "difficult," and you end up lying and hurting yourself from what you always truly wanted, which is to be valued, appreciated, spoiled, and shown love. The same treatment you would give your own partner.
no lies spoken here 🎯Glad you woke up , so to speak 💛
Me too I also hated pink and anything with hearts. Now I love it all. It was definitely me shaming my inner feminine all those years 💖 I buy myself flowers now but I’d love to be bought some too.
Hey, good on you for having insight.! I know the feeling.
We should be happy for our sisters who are treated well.
Yes! Also being in the presence of people who are treated well increases your likelihood of being treated well! Your circle is an extra defense of your standards if you ever need that!
@@juliac2687 huge yes to the group standards protecting you. Remember that who you surround yourself with, you'll attract more of the same.
Yes exactly. It brings me so much joy to see a woman looked after and treated well. I love that she’s flourishing.
Yes. It means one less woman competing with us even when we’re not competing with anyone.
“I am done walking on eggshells around unhealed people.” - WHEEWWWWW!!!❤
🎉 THIS right here!
Amen! ❤
GIRL. I am soooo grateful for this perspective. It actually feels like most women’s anger towards eachother is fueled by jealousy.
I feel its more of human nature. Guys online are so jealous too. Dusties to be more accurate
Yeah look at the incel "look maxxers" they are so mean towards each other and truly jealous/envious. It's very "mean girls" @@radwaibrahim9276
To me jealousy is really the admission that you don’t want to take the difficult decisions to achieve the things you are jealous of. I can’t sit here being jealous/envious and not start working on getting that thing. I refuse to be negative against another person, I need to find a way to get it myself bec😢I truly believe I deserve it!
Patriarchy conditions women to constantly be in competition against each other. The system is set up to tear down women from gathering together, because once we form communities with one another the entire system will crumble.
@@radwaibrahim9276You’re right.
Tulips are my favorite flower, but I would NEVER be upset over someone else getting roses or if I were gifted roses.
Tulips are my favorite too! I love all the colors they come in and really want to go to holland to see the tulip fields
i love tulips too
Maria, I didn't want to be that girl, but I litterally hate tulips! 🤣🤣🤣
Exactly. Flowers are a lovely thought.
tulips are my favorite flower too 😭 the yellow ones are the best
My mom bought me Roses to cheer me up when I was on my period, I was so happy. I'm going to buy her roses to let her know I appreciate her.
your mom is 🙌💓
🌹🌹🌹🌹 sweet mom!
i love that for you. my mom gets me flowers every Valentine’s day and i always get her a nice card. women can spoil women too ❤
Love this ❤❤❤
I’m a spoiled girlie. When my Fiancé and I rode in a horse carriage in downtown San Antonio, he wouldn’t let me on without him taking my hand to help me step in. And he never lets me walk on the side with traffic when we’re out and about. I’ve known women who would roll their eyes at that. I’m all for us helping each other get over pick me energy because I had a “Not Like Other Girls” phase. Some men claim the ones who don’t act entitled are the ones who deserve princess treatment but will then act oblivious to their self proclaimed low maintenance partners wanting princess treatment.
I loveeee “benevolent sexism” AKA princess treatment ❤️🥰
girl I went out on a date with 3 way older than me males, and I had to tell them to change the place they walk in so that I feel safe ...
Very happy for you tho! It sound so romantic, like a burning desire that I wish will come true for me very soon!
Congratz on your upcoming marriage! 💕💕💕
Idk, I actually love seeing other people receive gifts because there's something comforting about witnessing a wholesome moment and knowing that you'll be able to experience that too (or reminisce about previous gifts given to you). I know i can't be the only one who has this same feeling 😅
Me too I love seeing others in love especially if I'm cupid. But when I'm experiencing it for myself I just feel anxious as fuck. Even though the man I dated was good
Same! My favourite is seeing a couple truly in love, the way they look at each other. ❤️Reminds me it is coming for me too. I don't understand jealousy, my cross is different to Elle's.
yeah cuz ur not miserable
It's nice af I think hmm shit I need to give someone a gift
The idea of this video isn't just about the roses.
the idea is that jealous people will belittle others for things that they secretly desire.
you can hate roses all you want, but normally, you wouldn't shit on others for receiving a rose as a gift, right?
Jealous people hurt others because they can't get what the other have.
If I hate coffee, I wouldn't belittle my coworker who gets free coffee as a gift, for example. That's the difference between normally disliking something and jealousy.
exactly!!!
This
you are speaking true wisdom
Roses are so beautiful, I don't know how someone can hate them. Or to pretend they hate them.
They look better left in a garden.
I knew somebody that was alergic to roses. Still, she was not jealous and never commented on Roses, she only let the ones very close to her know about her alergy, quietly.
I never liked roses 😂 idk they remind me of old people, but obviously when I receive roses Im thankful. Also saying I hate roses when someone receives roses is just plain rude.
@@mitza420yes is not the most elegant flower.
@@mitza420right. I may hate an object but if someone else is gifted it with such love and thoughtfulness it is plain disrespectful to say that aloud. It costs nothing to stay quiet😂 obvs many dont know that
I remember telling my husband I hate roses so he bought me other flowers 😂 but really it’s because I’m sad when they die in a week. When he would send me flowers to work, the other women would act like this 🙄 in my head I’m like .. ok take that out on your husband not me lol
Perhaps lavender then?
...or get a potted plant in flower.
Red carnations are my favorite. They last SO FREAKING LONG, and are just as beautiful if not more than red roses. They remind me of flamenco dresses.
Pssst..👀 ask for “Forever Roses” 🌹 ( that’s what I was given for graduation 👩🏽🎓) and perfumes. And yes, those women are annoying, snarky me would definitely want to respond with a, “well glad these are for me and not you. Maybe someone will send you a pizza or something…you look like you’d love that” 😂 but they don’t deserve the attention
@@charlelalaYum 😋 Pizza 🍕
I generally try to shift my envy with gratitude. It's a powerful transformer.
Right now, I'm at rock bottom in almost every way - 2 businesses failing, credit ruined, bordering on homeless, dealing with ageism while trying to find a paid position in my field, ADHD, and probably depression... so it's easy for those envy feelings to creep in. They do. I've lost almost everything since 2020 - including so much dignity. It feels personal, like the Universe itself has some beef with me. But you know what? When I see a lady living in and radiating her abundance - it keeps the fire going inside me, it doesn't extinguish it. So I have gratitude for the reminder. Life is short. That fire is everything. And it reminds me I will pull through this and be okay even if the worst happens.
I really wish you luck 🙏🏻 🌷
You're doing great🔥💕
Wish you luck, I am on the other side of the globe with the same issues ❤❤❤❤ we can do it!!! ❤❤❤
I hope you get through these tough times, and you’ve motivated me to be stronger too, thank you
I believe in you, you're definitely going to make it you've got the right attitude 😉 you've got this in the bag ❤️
I love roses 🌹🌹🌹 I looked at her recieving those roses and I was so happy for her, we need more of this and for it to become the norm again...
The only reason I don't like receiving flowers is bc I have allergies. 😭😭😭😭😭
Likewise. It makes me happy to see happy people and couples.
@@loganmorningstar9122 oh no! yes of course, completely understandable ❤🩹
The “I hate roses” comment translated to “I’m p1ssed that the guy I’m with doesn’t treat me like a queen like your man treats you like a queen.”
Thank you for sharing your story. I think that your commentary has more power because you’re one of the ladies who “smartened up” and changed your life. 😊
💯💯💯🙌💓
YES! "You're not being too much! These other people are just being too little"! I love all of your quips, but this one I FELT. This also made me realize that being a PickMesha doesn't just apply to men...we can be PickMesha's by dimming our light, trying not to make other people jealous and miserable when we get our flowers!
Roses aren't my favorite but I would never! They weren't for you lady. That's so sad that you can't be happy for someone else.
The only thing in my mind was "I wish I was there to smell those roses, must've been heaven" lol
Right? That was my first thought too. I love flowers and rose essential oil 🌹
I am still learning how not to replay in my mind the negative things people say to me about my standards being too high. I just need to remember it truly is a reflection of their own insecurities.
People are scared that you might actually meet the man that can easily live up to your high standards. They're afraid they may be forced to analyze the men they've allowed into their life because they had very few standards or no standards at all. It's not that your standards are too high It's moreso about their standards are too low. If you surrounded yourself around people with equally high standards, no one would bat an eye, no one would say anything negative.
@@khrisi9410 OMG thank you for choosing to share this comment and encourage me!!! It’s so true and your words have caused me to reevaluate who I allow myself to call “my friend”. Thank you for your wisdom ❤️ this is truly a spoiled girlie support group 🤗
I've heard a whole lot of women saying they hate flowers because they 'die'. Look if the man who loves me comes around with a bouquet of roses, I'm going to scream my lungs out in excitement. I don't care. Also, I was a 'pickmeisha' too, and I can tell that something that they all have in common is that they somehow 'settle' because they want to be 'different'. Now I want the roses, even though they're not my favourites.
proud of your growth girlie
@@Emilnananaxo thank you bestie xoxo
I think this is what is happening to me as well... slowly coming back around to like them all. 😂❤
@@annabourbon Indeed! So far my favs are peonies and lilies, but I like em’ all because they are pretty 🥹
I don't want flowers that much too
But if a man give me flowers I feel great
In Slavic countries it’s a given that men get huge bouquet flowers for women in their lives, family members or romantic partner wives etc
I second that. flower on various occasions, including international woman's day and first date (it used to be sort of standard, not sure about these days)
We say all kinds of similar things about how in my culture women are treated best… we just need to stop. There are good and bad men everywhere.
Even if I genuinely hated roses and they killed my family, etc, I could never yuck such a beautiful woman's joy. The world needs more open displays of love and kindness, not less. She glowed in that green ❤
"I hate roses"
Well I hate most Romcoms, Hallmark Christmas movies, the entire Twilight/ 50 Shades of Grey/ 365 Days franchises, and Christina Perri's song "A Thousand Years". But I don't take the time out of my day to shame another person's choice in what makes them happy even if it makes me cringe so hard I form a black hole. Those things aren't for everyone, but there are people who enjoy them. Let people enjoy things!
And to be clear: if you enjoy any of the things I said I hate, keep enjoying them. Be happy. 💚
I feel like i have this convo with men even more.
Like I say 'oh i love food x' and they immediately go with 'eww i hate it, food y is so much better'.
Or also give me unsolicited advice on how to use my money or do this or that
Oh goodness you’re right.. I never thought of it like that.. whenever people are playing Taylor swift I’m like eeeewww change it…. Or eww why are you singing her song she’s so stupid. That is so rude and I honestly never thought of it the way you said.. don’t shame other people and just let people enjoy what they like. Thank you for this reminder.
@citygirl713 yess love to see the self awareness
When I see women who embody what I want for myself, I swoon HARD. Its a running joke with my friends that I am the hype girl because I compliment everyone 😅 and you know what? It doesnt matter if a pretty girl knows she is pretty, compliments from other girls hit different 😌✨
People like you are awesome 🤩 supporting the sisterhood! Hope the lovely energy you put out into the world comes back to you as well
Who sees their friend happy but the first thing to come out of their mouth is something negative? It's definitely not about the roses. Being a jealous party pooper only hurts themselves.
exactly this 🎯
The example video is very obvious sour grapes. But we shouldn't forget that sour grapes and hate can often be disguised under a veil of "hehe women supporting women" and "i'm such a girls girl" fawning. Keep a sharp eye out for the ones whose responses sound sweet, but you catch them side eye-ing and trash talking when they think you won't notice.
Had a lady like that in my office. A coworker would tell her about the nice trip she planned to go on with her boyfriend. The woman (who was divorced and bitter) would be all appreciative smiles to her face, then trash talk her, the boyfriend, and the trip to the WHOLE ENTIRE OFFICE. The backstabbing was insane.
Mother is mothering ❤❤
I have removed my "be taken for granted" manifesto. Men only value what they invest in, whether I can't stand the idea of being high maintenance or not. Men put so much effort and SO much investment into their passion projects. They can learn to show investment to their closest relationship. Women CERTAINLY do!!!!
This is so true. I am an envious person myself and, believe me, we don't live happily. We are always angry, frustrated and thinking about other people and their goals, lifes, updates, etc. It is incredibly sad to know someone can live this way, but yes we can, and we will still go through that way until we get to learn how to love ourselves and work on our own improvements. Never, NEVER trust an envious person because everyrhing they say is intentionally spitted to make you feel less. Take care of yourselves and live happily, please reject envy. I am doing my best to do so, never give up girls!
you're doing a great job of being self-aware and working on the source of envy.
It's not fair to call yourself envious anymore, especially after all the work you put in to heal it. Keep up the good work 👏
In my youth, I was envious of class mates/peers that got jobs on nepotism& corruption, while I worked SO hard for the same job. I thought my envy was justified. Well, in a few years, I learned about the huge skeletons in the closet those class-mates/peers had and I realised I was so lucky compared to them. People seemingly living "perfect" lives have the darkest secrets, believe me! I learned envy is a waste of time& energy, you like something, copy it or adapt it to your needs& wants! An example of someone who I envied and I felt sorry later: a guy was handsome, rich, had anything he wanted ,because of his rich family. I later found out his uncle SA-ed him in his childhood and his parents turned a blind eye to it because of " reputation". Awfull ! "Perfect" relationships on Facebook turned into nasty divorces, custody battles and splitting of assets... ugh...
Trust her to be who she has shown you she is. Trust yourself to know that what you sense about her is ACCURATE. Feel sad for her not being able to see that she is sabotaging herself by missing the opportunity to have a loving, supportive relationship with you. Deciding to protect yourself sends an unambiguous message to YOURSELF that your happiness is worth fighting for. If it is her wish to have closeness with you this has a better chance of success than letting her use you as a way to avoid dealing with her insecurities. Good luck.
Hurt people, HURT people. Misery loves company
IT IS ALL TRUE! I was a "pick me cool girl", i was saing that i don't want flowers, i agreed that gifts for anniversaries is stupid etc etc. And i was feeling so bad and miserable! Than I understood that i actually want to recieve flowers and i really ebjoy making presents and recieving them, i understood that my friends are in 100 times better and treat me better, so i broke up with him. Now i single, but i am in the most happy period of my life
In fact, i was raised in perfect traditional family where my father is a gentleman, he loves my mother with the bottom of his heart and do everything for her. And i stiil don't understand how i became such pickmeisha and how it is so hard to get rid of this mindset
living in your own truth, having inner happiness that isn't dependent on people or things, while still enjoying what you have and not lamenting what you didn't, is key to real happiness
Something similar just happened to me the other day! I worked on Christmas Day. I called my relative during my lunch break because there was literally no other time to talk to her. Another employee in a different department overheard my conversation and she remarked to a third party calling me a "suck-up".
!!! I was so mad for a hot minute... how dare someone denigrate a person's relationship with their family. God forbid wanting to speak to a relative on the holidays. It was just so backward. This particular relative and I have worked very hard to have a good relationship and I value their outlook and perspective because they are VERY wise!
So, I ignored the person calling me a "suck-up" and continued to enjoy my nice Christmas conversation and free lunch.
Don't let other people dim your light! Just be happy. If they can't be happy and choose to be miserable and jealous, that's their fault, not your fault for being happy. We all get to choose the attitude we embrace for the day.
They were definitely jealous because non of their family members want to call them lol
I've noticed that I feel like a villain whenever I'm around certain people. I constantly think that they dislike me even though I've made a lot of effort to be kind, open and supportive to them, but somehow I still feel like I am a bad unlikable person when I'm around these people who are cold to me for no reason. I usually don't assume jealousy because I'm not a jealous person at all, but I don't see any other reason why these people are so cold to me even though I tried to be on good terms with them
100% true. Some people will only be happy if you are unhappy. Lose those people. They are not your friends.
When I had NOTHING no husband no kids no job just got cheated on, I was still so happy for others it gave me hope! Genuine tears of joy for others happiness! Now I have the good husband, kids and a happy stay at home mom. Have love for others! ❤ I can’t wrap my mind around hating on joy of others
This video made me want flowers , someone just brought me a crystal flower. I am a manifesting QUEEN
Omgggg, I am so jealous! A *crystal* flower? Gorgeous 😍 👑
I grew up spoiled but I became ashamed of it in puberty and i came to embrace the pickme because i wanted to avoid jealousy. Female envy has been my biggest fear so i continuously dim my light.
Thank you bestie for waking my light self again! I can be my spoiled girly and just accept that envy will be there. Thanks again, darling! Have a good week.
I love that Trader Joe’s gives you free flowers for your birthday… I was just thinking how much I wanted some (my birthday is on Christmas) and then they gave me a bouquet when I was checking out last weekend 💐 ✨ manifest beauty wherever you go! ♥️ ❄️
I feel this heavy! I was on both sides as well. It took getting bullied by narcissistic abuse to realize that whole friend group was toxic. I literally told a friend that I was thinking about applying to law school and they [nonbinary person] responded with "Ew, why would you do that?" And then continue to gaslight me how they were only concerned about my future and me making a bad mistake. So fuck that dude and that whole friend group that relentlessly negged me to feel better about themselves.
I feel like mindful gratitude practice is a good method for dealing with jealousy too. Remembering that there are a lot of great things to be grateful for in your own life is just so much more rewarding. It also invites more good things to come.
Also: detachment. You don't know other people's destiny and what something means in the grand scheme of things. Their roses are not your losses. There is enough good treatment for everyone.
Well said!!
I am not a lover of roses, my favourite flower is gerberas, however, I'd never say that while one of my friends is being given a beautiful bouique of roses! Seriously! Most women LOVE red roses and they are beautiful! Just because you don't like them, why take the shine out of another woman's blessing? Really?
They were not for her!! They were for that beautiful woman who this man cherishes!!! ❤
How can you not be happy for her?!
So glad I am a girls girl! I was brought up to be happy for others when they succeeded or received a lovely thoughtful gift. I hope that lady noticed that remark and distanced herself from that woman.
They are quite terribly romantic though aren't they? Something lovely about roses that can hardly be put into words if a man gets them of his own volition as in the video its a lovely lovely unforgettable gesture.
Id rather some money or a Starbucks card, but jealousy is ugly. One thing im not is a hater
Absolutely. Gifts should always be suitable for the receivers preferences.
Same
Yep. I'd rather get some chocolate or a new game or smth but like, nobody asked for her opinion 💀 she should've kept it to herself, be happy, and mind her business
Potted plants but I'd NEVER try to ruin a girls good moment 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
I got that one too 😂
"I hate roses" I would've said "That's why they're for me and NOT for you 😊"
Jealous people being a cross to bear hit so hard. Low self esteem people like that aren't worth your time
I’m glad I found your channel. I have kept a lot of the spoiled moments with men I have dated to myself because of dealing with jealous women. I’ve come to learn that my fears attracted them to me and there are great women out there who are supportive of my wins. They are not close to me at the moment but I’m grateful for this community.
I don’t like flowers but i would never shit on a woman for enjoying flowers from a man who likes her. I used to be a girl who claimed to be low maintenance so that men would pay attention to me. Also because i didn't want men to act like i owed them something if they got me something. I'm glad my ex always took care of me. It made me increase my standards
Roses have always been my favorite flower. I don’t care if they’re more expensive than other flowers I don’t like, and I don’t care if they die in a week. They’re beautiful. They’re classic. I can’t stand women who diss roses and claim cheap flowers are better. Stop trying to ruin it for the rest of us.
Preach! Even if specific women don’t like roses, they’re still a symbol of love and passion to anyone who receives them. Whenever I talk about my want to receive a diamond engagement ring someday, some of my friends will criticize and tell me to pick a cheaper, “prettier” one! But like, I don’t care! It’s my birthstone and nobody can deny how pretty a diamond is when it sparkles in the light 💎
these same type of women who can't get their men to plan date. they hate seeing another woman being loved and appreciated
Elle possesses a talent for articulating and phrasing ideas eloquently
Ever since I have let go of dead weight (males) my life has been BETTER and I get more things done. My energy is directed in the right areas!!! ❤❤❤🎉
I’ve been revisiting movies lately that remind me that we all come from a sisterhood. I didn’t have a lot of that growing up, so it’s been hard.
I’m reminding myself now, and demanding nothing less.
Be happy for every woman that gets love in this world. Cheer for her, uplift her, feel so much joy for her. Your turn will come. ❤️
Wait which movies though? If you don't mind me asking 😊
Right and I wouldn’t be jealous of a woman getting roses in public.
She could be getting trashed in her home.
I wish all women the best!!!!
Recommendations, please? ^_^
We need a list, bestie!
Let’s hope my list doesn’t disappoint!
Fried Green Tomatoes
Steel Magnolias
9-5
Mystic Pizza
Enchanted April
Sense and Sensibility, 1995 version
Bridesmaids
I’m sure I’m forgetting some. :) I’m working on getting out of survival mode in general, and softening my edges. 😌
When i was 13 boys showered me with chocolates and roses. My nervous system couldn't handle it. I broke up with my bf on Valentine's day when he gave me a huge plussie and didn't date for years. When your father didn't give you princess treatment it is very hard to accept it from others. I had a long way to heal from unworthy, unlovable Pickme to a Spoiled Woman. I am sad to remember how many boys i hurt because i was hurt. Young boys knew chivalry and hot conditioned out of it😞once their daughter is born they don't remember. Trauma cycle continues. If you notice you have trauma you are responsible for working on you for the sake of humanity. Once you awaken you can not go back to your old embarassing ways. I always had standards subconsciously i just abandoned them over and over because of the abandonment wound from my mother. No more compromises just figuring out what i truly want! Which is stability, commitment, growing into love in a safe marriage, staying home with my kids.
I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I’m glad you are healing from that❤
Lucky you. At 13, I was getting bullied by boys. I have that type of beauty that only gets appreciated when you get older (I had bushy eyebrows and was very socially awkward). Sometimes, it’s triggering watching girls being crushed on at that age, while I was constantly rejected.
This Thursday, I will see a therapist to help me get rid of those memories.
A person who puts others down to "self soothe" are toxic AF. They need to be called out. That's it.
To be honest, I personally don't like receiving flowers. I prefer jewellery, clothing, electronics, I don't know, something useful or of value. Even a box of chocolates is better. Or better, give me cash to buy what I really need.
I like to contemplate flowers in nature, not some bouquet. But if the man is spending on me, it's still better than not spending on me and a nice gesture.
Same i would take jewellery instead
I have a lot of allergies and one bf bought me a bouquet of wooden roses. I still have them displayed years later as decor since they're still beautiful even with the paint a tad faded
Same I feel the same way. I don't even really see the appeal to the eyes when in nature. But you'd never catch me saying that out loud
In Slavic countries usually huge bouquet of flowers are used accompanying a big gift
Or are used alone when picking up a woman at the train station or something
@@FoundSheep-AN Yeah, good point!
When I was in my early 20s, I would get triggered my proposal videos. Fast forward to now, I’m 26 and I view them in an inspirational light. A close friend recently got engaged and I’m genuinely so happy for her. 😊
When i saw that clip and heard the girl say "i hate roses", all i could think was- damn thank god no one got you any roses then.
Whats the point of being so negative in a situation that isn't about you, all you're doing is setting expectations for the people around you. A guy hearing you say you hate roses/flowers is going to be sure he never gets you any. She's punishing herself by behaving like this.
I hate (when other women get) roses (& I don’t.)
First, you need heal within. If your boyfriend/husband isn't getting you flowers, get yourself the flowers first and gush at how beautiful they are. He will then get you the flowers. If he doesn't, he doesn't like you. Simple. My ex couldn't wait to spoil me with plants/flowers because I prioritized them.
I love that this popped up on my feed. I was a stay at home mom and well taken care of and my sister would constantly ask me when I was gonna get a job!? I would be like my husband takes care of me so I don’t need a job. 😐folks be hatingggg
hope you are saving some money too in a separate account :))
Omg. I needed this. Thank you. Ive been getting so much negativity from other women lately. I am at my best, taking care of myself, living my beat life and holy shit some women do not like this. I thought i was going crazy. Thank you.
You are gorgeous, bestie 🫶
Keep living your kept life!
✨Recovering Pickmesha counter✨💅👇✨
First like is mine 🥂 cheers!
Girl I feel you, there's nothing I hate more than jealous people!! Why ruin something for someone just cuz you want it too? You definitely wouldn't want someone to ruin it for you
When I was with my ex, I told him that it would be really sweet of him to surprise me with flowers when I got back from a 3 week long field work rotation and when he picked me up from the airport he told me he forgot to get flowers 😅 over the 3 years of living together (I know) he got me flowers I think 2 times. The first time I got flowers ever was from a man who was trying to win me over this below bare minimum guy but I was too into this trauma bond…. (And im still recovering from it). I was the pick-me who never showed interest in jewelry and I never got any until this year, all from friends, family, and the man trying to win me over, never from my ex.
Where are you from? What is your man’ s cultural background? A man picking up his woman empty handed at the airport is weird. What is his ethnicity and cultural background? Where do you both live?
Why are you not married yet?
I guess some asian country..
I “hated roses” at one time too haha. Seriously, now I want flowers in the house always. They are so pretty.
I never understood envy. I was only inspired by people and if I wanted something they had, I went after it myself. A few years back I realized I am a point of envy for people. It was shocking for me because I never thought of myself as somebody to be envied. But now I know if I listed what my life is on paper, I understand it can be triggering for some.
Elle did you see the whole Simone Biles scandal? I thought you were gonna comment on that! It’s outrageous
She already did a video about the sassy men apocalypse.
These are the types of people who will try to ruin your life and relationships just because of their envy. They cannot be trusted.
I think they legitimately have something wrong with them psychologically. Stay safe out there 💕
I was a Pickmeisha and didn’t know it until I knew better/learned better! I will never go back to the Pick Me dark days. Happy Holidays to all the girlies 💕🫶🏽
I used to think I didn’t like or care about getting flowers and jewelry, and then my husband got me diamond studs for Christmas. It was our first Christmas as boyfriend and girlfriend and we had been dating for only three months, but that didn’t stop him from investing in a really nice gift to make me happy and show me that he was serious about me.
We’ve been married for 8 months now and I’ve gotten more jewelry and flowers in these 8 months than in my whole life. I love being spoiled by my man and I wouldn’t accept anything else. Next thing he’s getting me is a car. We’re already browsing for one that suits my wants and needs.
Honestly in that scenario, I’d express happiness for her and be overcome by the cuteness (“awwwww”). But deep down I feel grief over how much I’ve been used, taken advantage of, manipulates, and abused in relationships. And because it has felt so much easier and safer to be alone, I know those roses won’t come to me. I’ve been through 11 straight years of trauma and it just feels like those roses are for other women, not me. And seeing these situations in action in public all the time, and hearing about it with my girlfriends, seems to only further confirm that sad belief I have. It’s so difficult to change my beliefs! Every time I try to believe that I am worthy of unconditional love, attention, affection and gifts, I attract a predator. I honestly prefer to be alone at this point and just view women like the one getting roses in this video and fantasizing that it’s me.
give yourself flowers 🙂
Me too. But buy yourself flowers and maybe try some kind of therapy. I am going to have to myself.
Thank you ladies 🩵. I do buy myself flowers often. I do nearly everything for myself. I’d also love if someone else would do that for me without the manipulation and coercion. I would love to be cherished by someone who is genuine.
I actually hate red roses because growing up, I only ever saw my mom and sisters get them after a fight with their partners. I only ever saw them as "apology flowers", they remind me of mistakes, fights, screaming and crying.. But I hope that one day I get a partner that's gonna change my opinion of them and make me see them as a symbol of love, like they're supposed to.
Girl ! be happy for other girls when they are given flowers. If they are happy that's amazing, but it hapened to me that i got flowers and chocolates but the relationshio didn't work out at the end, there is no guarantee flowers mean good treatment, or they can be flowers after the guy messed up pretty bad. So really be happy for them and go on with your life.
4:22 when I heard “I hate roses” if I was there I would’ve went “that’s why they’ll never be for you😊”
I used to be the "cool girl" and it was the absolute worst because I never got anything. I paid for everything because he is a broke guy who has no bank account, he put so much pressure on me to pay for everything. I was really depressed when I saw other women get flowers when my dates were only parks :/ (Btw the way i think rn is different I get really happy when I see women getting the queen treatment they deserve
I love flowers, i love the history of giving flowers and the intimate meaning of them. flowers were a way of conmunicating intentions and feelings. Giving red roses were a way of declairing passionate love. People used d7fferent flowers to connunicate thier feeling-some flowers were sent if yhe feelings were not reviprocated or if they wanted to make a date, if they already loved someone, if they hate you ect.
I'm so glad I found your channel. I used to be so plagued and I did start the healing process on my own but listening to your videos accelerates it. Hearing this kind of affirmation, the way it isn't rooted in hating, but wanting people to get better. It's so amazing, thank you Elle 🌹
To be fair, I used to hate seeing roses because my abusive mother loved them & seeing them reminded me of her. I also had an abusive boyfriend who knew this and would bring me roses in public after being cruel to me - forcing me to be polite about it.
Then I went through therapy and healed. I now enjoy roses 🌹. It isn't always envy, sometimes they can be a trigger.
Regardless, it was incredibly rude of that woman to voice that while the lady was having her moment. She should've kept her opinion to herself.
Elle's content always has always spoke to me so much. I always knew that I was a spoiled girly and that I held all the same ideas that Elle speakes about on her channel but I have never had the words for it. I am so grateful for this channel, it is literally keeping me sane and saving so many lives. Nothing I could write in an itty bitty comment will ever come close to expressing a slivet of the gratitude I feel for Elle and her message. She is a godsend 🙏💖💕💞
I remember when I started to realize that all the hate and gossip about me was exclusively from people who wanted my life. It pissed me off in the beginning but I realized that it's a complete waste of time and energy. I do have an option to be petty start being more active on my Instagram and posting about how happy I am in my life.
This is one of the best videos. The part about girlies being the object of envy and haters actually being obsessed fans with them and talking about them for clout = MIND BLOWN. This has happened to me. Thank you ❤
I got so happy for the girl getting roses!! My heart swelled with happiness seeing her get that bouquet! Like that's my sister or something ❤❤❤
My boyfriend knows I like living plants, so he bought me year-round blooming flowers in a pot for me to keep. It wasn’t even my birthday or anything. 🥺❤ Thank you Spoiled Girlie Support Group for helping me gain the confidence and strength to find a kind, loving, and nurturing man and *not* a below bare minimum low effort man.
I LOVE flowers and I LOVE to recieve them. This year was my first single bday. I thought I would get no flowers. My neighbor received flowers on my bday, but was out of town. I gushed when I saw them in front of her door and they weren't even for me. She asked me to grab them and keep them because she couldn't enjoy them. Guess who had flowers for her bday? 😊 If you act like a WINNER, even the universe will make sure you get your flowers. ❤❤❤
Barely 5 min in and bestie, you are describing my grandma!! just like you said she would get mad for the way I even BREATHED. All these years I always thought something was wrong with ME. thank you so much, Elle. You are truly leading a revolution!! 💕💕
Even more specifically I want pink or yellow ones
💛yesss💛 Same same ! 🙌💛💓
When someone received roses on valentine's day, I would buy roses for myself when I'm single. It's a treat! 😊
A lot of people project instead of self reflection. A person who always blames you for jelaousy needs to be called out. Poir emotional regulation is not cute.
Brittany Simon calling you out is sad on her part & doesn’t have class
that individual is so creepy with her "levels of numbers system" and cult leader behaviour. Of course, she's on the top of the hierarchy (cult leader alert).
Creepy stuff, and a lot of people believe her sh*t and taker her seriously!
I hope the real psychologists catch on and call her shtick out.
I am so blessed to have found your channel. Seriously. You've opened my mind so much and helped me to see the truth about myself. I am a pick me! But working on it, this channel has helped me a lot though with understanding behind the curtain and learning my worth. Thank you bestie. 💖👏🏻
I am so grateful for your videos Elle!❤️❤️❤️ im so thankful that you exist, please never stop doing what you do. I changed my life for the better because of your teachings. Everything you described about being an object of envy, i have suffered exactly through that and also often questioned myself if i did something wrong that the pickme’s got upset or why did they attack me! Im so doneeee with these people. I just want to embrace my light, my best self, be in my receiving energy and achieve all my big goals!
That is so true. Being a pickme means you are just closed to the good things your divine femine energy can bring you, it means you choose to settle for less! Admit you dont want girlfriend treatment, you want queen treatment!
One of the biggest lessons i got from a mentor/counselor, is being taught to say* only two words when getting a compliment: “thank you”.
Instead of pulling out and reading a dissertation on why I don’t deserve that compliment. It still is truly painful to just say thank you. I physically squirm řand start sweating and burning up, my breathing gets short, it is humiliating. Somehow some of us have been conditioned to humble and lower ourselves to the extent of non existence.
The only way she was even able to convince me to just say “thank you”, was by telling me if I do the whole negation thing, people will think I’m weird or insane, or be insulted bc it’s like I’m calling them fake or a liar. Since that is also embarrassing and I don’t like seeming rude, I’ve been really trying to be open to receiving compliments and good things, and receiving them graciously and without a fight.
I would love to recive flowers from the person i love. I dont understand why that girl dont like roses, they are beautiful and i am so happy about that woman, i wish i could be her.
Not me, remembering how I used to complain to mum because I was jealous of fellow child actors getting flowers, and how they shouldn't get flowers all because I didn't
Even if I knew I would never receive a gift in my lifetime I would still be happy for others who did.
It's possible that she's not jealous and that she genuinely hates roses. It could remind her of something bad. People don't just give flowers on happy occasions so they could trigger a negative memory. People blurt things out in passing and when they are drinking and it might not have been intended to dump on her. I'm also not someone who gives everyone the benefit of the doubt so it definitely is possible she was deliberately being rude but it's also possible that she wasn't. It's obviously a complete stranger. If it was a friend that did that, I would assume it was deliberate.