Making a few changes to the Ahsoka Series: Is this what it should've been?
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- čas přidán 18. 10. 2023
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I’ve said it before, and I thought it before… The passion that you have for Star Wars is clearly visible, and that passion is what allows you to make videos like this. Every story or reworked story I have heard you say it’s a literally 100 times better than anything that Lucas film is doing right now. A person like you with the passion you have is clearly what is a lacking at Lucasfilm… to come up with fantastic stories it really has to be someone with equal amounts of imagination, law knowledge of the franchise and generally, a huge love for Star Wars. If there is anyone at Lucasfilm with half a brain, they would literally employ you immediately! And they better do it soon before they literally flush Star Wars down the toilet because that is what is happening with every new show and movie they are making with the exception of Andor. Carry on your fantastic content we can at least dream that one day someone at Lucasfilm will aspire to be as fantastic as you.
Right? I don't know where Disney is getting these hack writers when random CZcamsrs have far superior ideas.
Couldn't agree more!
if they are writing decent stories at LF it seem like they are told by KK and her cronies to change it to fit her narrative.
Please continue this story. It is 1000th more intriguing than the original show
Couldn't agree more!
Fr fr
Filoni needed the help of a script-doctor , someone that could have told him “no” or to change this or that.
100%
Agreed, Filoni’s got some really cool and great ideas, but he needs somebody to help him iron out the wrinkles in his storytelling.
In ways it felt like Filoni has his long form TCW writing style and was using it or wasn’t adapting enough when writing this show, which imo isn’t exactly the smartest idea
I’m not saying he needed to resolve or conclude everything or most in this series, but he could’ve condensed some stuff. And a script-doctor would’ve helped with that
M.E. *Scrip Doctor* says hi.
@@gabebartlett9680Lucas actually wrote all the episodes in clone wars. Filoni only wrote 3 episodes outside of season 7
@@lightningleopard8877Then why is he the one praised for the show? Star Wars fans can't even read credits?
I had my own ideas to tweak this series. While I did enjoy it, I know it could've been better. It's not complete, but my ideas are:
1. Starting the series with Ahsoka on Malechor for years and she only got home when Luke Skywalker, who is working on his jedi order, came to Malechor to better understand why the dark side is so tempting and how to resist it. This would be Ahsoka and Luke's first meeting.
2. Instead of nightsisters, the creators of the map were worshippers of the Mortis Gods, and one of the purgils' migration points was at the shrine to the Daughter, which is why Ahsoka went there.
3. The reason Thrawn isn't after Ezra when we reach Paridea is because shortly after they arrived, they discovered a terrifying power on the planet threatening to get out. Ezra was the only one at the time that could contain it temporarily, so he and Thrawn made a truce that Ezra wouldn't attack Thrawn or his forces or attempt to hinder his efforts to escape, in exchange for Thrawn leaving Ezra in peace.
4. Ahsoka and Sabine's partnership starts onscreen instead of implying a fallout. Since Sabine is making their mission personal, Ahsoka decided to give Sabine training in lightsaber combat. Also, Sabine wouldn't use the force. Sabine can still be considered Ahsoka's student, but not in the force as I don't think that was necessary.
5. Ahsoka would still get a vision scene with Anakin so see can get closure. Though, I would set it up early in the series that Ahsoka won't help Luke with the new jedi order and was hesitatant to train Sabine. The reason that would be made clear in her last lesson with Anakin is that she fears that she would only be continuing Vader's legacy since her experience as a jedi was war. By the end of the lesson, Ahsoka understands that she can avoid the exact same path as Anakin, and she can be more than a soldier. By the end on the season(series?), Ahsoka would finally agree to help Luke with the new jedi order.
6. Despite Thrawn successfully returning to the galaxy, Ahsoka and Sabine return with Ezra joining them. The reunion at the end would have not just Hera and Chopper, but also Zeb, Rex(assuming he's still alive), Kallus, and Jacen(Ezra meeting his master's son would set up the idea that he will take Jacen as his apprentice).
Hey, Thor! I'm actually working on a series of videos doing exactly what you did here, a sort of "rewrite" of the Ahsoka series! Your desire to do more creatively inspired me to try my own hand at creating! Loved this video and thank you for your work!
Already by the first scene, this feels much more intriguing than the actual show ever was
Dude... This is SOOO much better already. Disney needs to HIRE you.
Your "what shouldve been" is structured infinitely better than what we got. Great character setup, clear motivations and actual interactions with some depth.
I can still remember holding out hope that the flaws which I had seen throughout the season would be resolved or iron'd out - that itd all come good.
Then the penultimate episode came along and confirmed for me the lack of depth it would continue to have... at this point, I am not sure if a second season / eventual film can turn things around. Maybe but imo the odds are against it.
I now understand the pathetic urge people have when they message... First.
Firstn't!
Wow! Thank you million times for this superb 15 mins of storytime enjoyment! Congratulations on being so creative and great writer, storyteller and content maker! Please continue!!!
I don't want to sound like I am overestimating how much I enjoy your stories and think they are far better ones that what Disney/Lucas film are putting out.
But I gotta be honest and tell you that this Ahsoka story of yours for episode one was truly immeasurably more entertaining and logical and intelligent, than the actual whole season from Filoni.
This is how I want official stories from star wars shows and movies to be and sound like. I love how you focused on connecting it directly to the events from Rebels and how you used scenes between characters to mention crucial information explaining both future scene that will come as well as previous scenes and even long past events.
Just as Filoni should have done but left everything confusing and disjointed/disconnected. I love the way you join all individual parts of the story into cohesive connected whole overall story, which therefore is so much more logical and easier and more rewarding to follow. Everything in your stories happens for a reason, and makes sense for characters to be in those specific emotional and physical states of their body, mind and relationships with other characters.
I could literally write a very very long comments of explanation why I love this and all other previous stories you tried telling on this channel, but comment section is not a good place for that.
Which leads me to finish with a question: what happened with those other previous story ideas you had and started telling us on this channel? And more specifically, am wondering about that Kenobi series story that you started rewriting with your ideas just like this Ahsoka series now. Have I missed the followup episodes somehow somewhere, or did you not ever continue recording it further than those first episodes?
I really looked forward to continuation of your Kenobi story, and your other stories.
I'll most likely get back to the Kenobi Series after this one, because I do think I will be continuing on with this story here.
Great decision! You should follow your heart and make content you love to make. I am looking forward to it a lot.
Thank you for taking time to read and respond to me.
Hey Thor, I enjoy this “opening episode”. It sums up what happened before and sets the stage for the rest of the series nicely. I’ve long said that the first three episodes could have been an email, or an opening crawl, and that those episodes set up the rest of the series for failure, and you’ve condensed everything important from those episodes into your version. So yes, I’m here for the rest of them.
I love this version it makes tons of sense to me and your breakdown of how events could have gone makes me wonder what will happen next. I would love you to continue this as I enjoy all your Star Wars content
Me too!
I absolutely love this 1st edition to the new and improved story of "Ahsoka". The way the stakes, settings, motivations, etc.. are laid out here is just MUCH better all around, imo. Very much looking forward to seeing how this plays out. 🙏
Dude, this video was immensely interesting and I would wait on more episodes with as much or more interest as waiting on the show! The thing is, THIS is the writing that these shows lack! I am impressed with your skill and saddened how it literally shines a light on the huge LACK of good writing in the show. Make sense? I just shake my head because I like your video so much, and just disbelieve that they can not find a decent writer ?? You deserve the role more than those who have it, my friend
Thank you. This is so much better than what we got! I was really hoping Ahsoka would be on par, if not Andor (which is superior in almost every department), at least with the Mandalorian seasons 1 and 2.
Very well done Thor! I'd love to see a part two! 😄
Would love to watch/listen to an old republic story like this written by Thor. All original characters and story would be awesome. Keep up the amazing work!
Love it. So much more cohesive and thought out than what we got. Really makes you wonder if filoni ever self analysed his story
Of course I watched the entire video. :-) Keep rocking on! Your vision is much more coherent, intriguing and satisfying than what we actually got. Disney needs to get better storytellers and/or have a much more robust system for proofreading story outlines and episode scripts.
I really enjoyed Ahsoka, but after hearing your version, I wonder why some things felt not thought through enough? Like, were they in such a rush before the actors strike and that’s why some things didn’t make sense? I used to feel confident in Dave Filoni, but I feel a bit betrayed. While it wasn’t bad there were some obvious things that were missed.
I have alternate versions of the story in my head as well but this does a good job of not changing much while also making necessary changes, like including character motivations out of the gate. Looking forward to the rest!
I love your story rewrites, i miss the ones for the sequal trilogy and i really like this one as well. Keep up the amazing work my dude!!
I have been trying to put together a plot where Sabine doesn't become a jedi and has a journey of rediscovery instead, funnily enough we had the exact same idea with the nightsister temple. I love your idea of a WBW/ malachor flashback showing Ahsoka making her promise to find Ezra. I do like how you have shown Sabine's journey in a far more logical way aswell. I think the reason Ahsoka flopped was because it failed to appease rebels fans, relying to much on offscreen events like Sabine's training and it failed to introduce Rebel and clone wars Characters to new fans.
Changes i would make to Ahsoka:
Off screen story:
- After Battle of Lothal, Sabine and Ahsoka team up during the OT as they both have a promise to Ezra
- Ahsoka trains Sabine to wield Ezra's lightsaber (doesnt make her a padawan)
- Mandalore is destroyed, Sabine blames herself as she caused the curse (she gave darksaber to Bo Katan)
- Sabine declares herself Dar Manda, stops wearing her armor and becomes obssessed with protecting Lothal, fearing it to will suffer the same fate
- Ahsoka and Sabine go seperate ways as Ahsoka believes she has a duty to the whole galaxy, not just Lothal and Ezra
- after Lothal is safe, Sabine starts to live a more normal life like we see her in the show
- Events from mandalorian S2 with Elsbeth getting captured
Ep1:
- Baylan and Shin's introduction stays the same
- When Ahsoka takes the map, the nightsister temple trys to kill her rather than nuclear assassin droids, possibly by collapsing on itself (introduction to nightsister magick)
- Hera and Ahsoka meeting kept the same
- Sabine does stay at the Lothal celebration, saying a few words about Ezra and those who died freeing Lothal (I swear respecting fallen warriors is extremely important to mandos), but leaves as soon as possible (maybe have ryder want to talk to her about Ezra getting a grave to give the people of Lothal closure, then have her storm off), tells us more about Ezra for non rebels fans and shows Sabine grieving whilst also being more grown up about it, more relatable (she is 30)
- Ahsoka goes to Sabine for help, Sabine gets permission to take the map, reasoning being her equipment is in the tower, Shin distracts Ahsoka by luring her to the capital, possibly getting her droids to attack civilians to get Ahsoka to investigate whilst Sabine continues working on the map
- Shin and Sabine fight, Shin wins but instead of stabbing Sabine, she grazes her back with her saber, major burn but not lethal (similar to Finn's injury but not as bad to reason her getting back on her feet quickly)
- Ahsoka arrives again at the last second once she realizes she was tricked, to find Shin fleeing with Sabine severely injured and the map gone
Ep2:
- Sabine wakes up in hospital with Ahsoka and explains what happened, she wants to help but needs to heal. Ahsoka feels guilty for bringing a darksider to Sabine's doorstep (Ahsoka has been pushing people away as everyone she cares about has died)
- Ahsoka goes back to the tower and finds the survivng Assassin droid, takes it back to Sabine to hack (wasnt the biggest fan of this, surely mercenaries would cover their tracks better, wiping droids memory of locations like the rebels would their nav computers, but cant think of another for them to discover whats happening on corellia)
- we see Baylan and Shin activate the map and morgan telling them about peridea as seen in the show, once morgan leaves i would have added some dialogue between Shin and Baylan about Marrok, possibly suggesting they knew him before and that he is no longer the same (dont tell us he is dead just yet though), giving a good reason for Shin's distrust of Elsbeth
- similar events on corellia (loved that Marrok didnt talk tbh, the other inquistors were loud and boastful wheras Marrok gave of more silent assassin vibes, great change)
- Huyang and Sabine talk about Ezra/Sabine's lightsaber, Sabine shows self doubt, stating she could never do what Ezra and Kannan could do, Huyang then says something about Mandalorians being great warriors and how a lack of force abilities never stopped her before (huyang would have been around for the conflicts between mandalorians and jedi, knowing how much of a fight Sabine's ancestors put up), also trying to persuade her to forgive herself for mandalore and that it wasnt her fault, despite what some of the remaining mandalorians think (children of the watch believed that Sabine gifting Bo the darksaber cursed her rule)
- Sabine heals and puts her armor on for the first time in years and calls Ahsoka, showing she is ready to get back into the fight
- Ahsoka picks Sabine up, mirroring the epilgue of rebels
Ep3:
- Ahsoka continues Sabine's lightsaber training, getting her back to speed, no blind fighting. Sabine makes comments on how this wasnt how Ezra was trained and how she doesnt know how she is supposed to face someone like Shin as she doesnt have the force
- Ahsoka encourages Sabine, telling her that the force isnt everything, that what Sabine can do is more important than what she can't (i personally think that the message that you don't need to be a jedi or a force wielder to fight the darkside is far more inspirational than just buffing Sabine with the force, it also makes Sabine more relatable as she doesnt have special powers and has to make do with her physical strength, training and armor)
- Ahsoka would try and get Sabine to incorporate her armour into their spar showing that Sabine isnt fully comfortable wearing it again, still feeling unworthy
- similar space battle as seen in the show, the ship shouldnt be completely stationary though as it makes no sense why Shin doesnt just shoot at the ship rather than Ahsoka
- Ahsoka goes on the wing, with a tether connecting her to the ship whilst it is moving, bit more realistic than her risking drifting off into space and the bad guys shooting at Ahsoka rather than a stationary and disabled ship
- we see the eye of sion for the first time in ep3 just to increase the amount that actually happens in this short episode, making it more impactful on the story and less of a filler
- rest stays relatively the same with Ahsoka and Sabine seeing the purgil and hiding on the surface
- i would explain that Sabine and Ahsoka couldn't find any purgil after the battle of lothal, that after what Ezra did, imperials started wiping them out, fearing another jedi could use them in the same way, purgil would be endangered. Seeing them for the first time in years would give Sabine hope
Ep4: (best episode)
- keep almost entirely the same but Sabine doesnt try to use the force on Shin and we see Sabine incorparate more of her gear as her duel with Shin progresses, leading to their draw
- Ahsoka gets defeated and Sabine gives Baylan and Shin the map, wanting to see Ezra again (far less frustrating only seeing Sabine mess up once rather than this being the 3rd time she Sabine has made a stupid decision, atleast this one was set up with Ahsoka asking Sabine if she could count on her,etc)
Ep5:
- also keep similar, possibly shortening the search for Ahsoka and focusing more on the WBW
- i would have had a scene with Jacen and Huyang on the T6, with a blue crystal calling to Jacen (later to be revealed as Ezra's first lightsaber crystal that Ahsoka retrieved from Malachor when she returned from WBW in rebels, holding on to it to remember Ezra and give back to him, make her seem less heartless and sets up Ezra to be Jacen's master as in rebels, Ezra was drawn to Kannan's lightsaber, also explains where the crystal he got in Ep8 comes from)
- Ahsoka hitches a ride with purgil as seen in the show
Ep6:
- Kept similar but the great mothers dont call Sabine a jedi but are still unnerved that they didnt foresee her presence
- Thrawn lets Sabine go, telling her where to start her search
- Sabine heads off looking for Ezra, gets attacked by Nomads and survives only to find herself in a violent storm, lightning strikes near by and her howler jumps, throwing Sabine off, causing her to hit her head on a rock and start to lose consciousness and sees a figure standing over her as she passes out
- Baylan and Shin sent after Sabine but Thrawn reveals to Elsbeth he just wanted them gone as he doesnt trust the ex jedi and doesnt actually want Ezra to be killed (reason yet to be revealed)
- Sabine wakes up next to a camp fire with someone sitting on the other side, she draws her blaster only to find it is Ezra (took inspiation from Ezra finding Obi wan on tatooine as i found it weird how Sabine found him in a day but Ezra sensing her presence like Obi wan sensed his would be cool way for him to find her)
- The Noti don't add to much to the story but they dont take away from it either, explains how Ezra kept his sanity
- Sabine and Ezra talk briefly but it is clear they are both hiding things from eachother. Ezra will comment on Sabine's self doubt, saying he doesnt recognise her, that she is no longer the mandalorian he remembers. He will suggest a spar where they start fighting in hand to hand combat but Ezra will start to use the force and Sabine will say that it's no longer a fair fight. Ezra will tell Sabine to make it one. Sabine will start using her gear, blasters on stun, wip cord, etc and we will see Ezra combat these with the force. The fight will end in a draw and Ezra will comment on how that she is now the Sabine he remembers, the Sabine that is his equal. Sabine would complain saying that she could only keep up with her gear, that Ezra only used his natural abilities. Ezra would then tell her just because she is less without her gear, doesnt mean she is worthless (opposite of Tony's quote to Peter).
I have planned a plot for the next episodes where Ezra is forced to stay on peridea and Sabine and Ahsoka go back home, so Sabine can fix her mistake and "see this through" like Ezra asked her to. If you would like me to comment it just ask.
Exactly what's missing in this show: foreshadowing, characterization, motivation.
Some suggestions:
-on Peridea Ezra tells the others how he came there as Thrawns prisoner, how Thrawn met the Nightsisters and got under their influence and how his ship and crew got damaged before Ezra could escape.
-Ezra getting angry when he learns that Sabine had given the map to the bad guys (i know, you excluded that scene, but if it is there i would expect this reaction).
-Ahsoka and Sabine using the head of the assasinator droid with the explosive device. They put a mask like Huyangs face on it, let Thrawn "capture" it, and while he thinks he can get to the secrets of the Jedi his Star Destroyer blows up. Fortunately (for him) near Dathomir, where he can salvage whats left of his ship and cargo. (Yes, i know, you also excluded the robots. But i would have liked a scene like this, especially because these droids were shown as if they could be important later).
-Baylan and Shin not splitting up, so he can explain to her (and us) what these statues are and what he hopes to find.
I’m always amazed at how much better your version sounds compared to what we actually got. It really puts it into perspective how pathetic all of these shows are (not you Andor I will love you forever).
Throw Andor out, we all know his fate in Rogue One.
It is easy to come up with ideas, especially when you are simply editing somebody else's work. Try making your own film and you'll discover how humbling it is to try to make a film yourself. And it isn't about money, many famous directors today started with pocket money and still created good films that launched their careers. Often times, the creators have ideas that make them sound like Divinci and Shakespeare combined but things in your head are not the same thing as a creation in the real world.
@@mazkeraid4039what does that have to do with anything? I love Anakin when though I know his fate in Jedi
@@Dani-kq6qq Thor's stories are not just ideas. He has explained the scenes very descriptively and they are great as standalone scenes as well as great parts of bigger story.
And what does it matter if he is just "reworking" someone's story?
Why couldn't Filoni or Disney have someone, as creative and as great of a content creator who loves Star Wars universe, as Thor is repeatedly demonstrating to be here on his channel, to look over Filon's story more objectively and rework it to make it more cohesive and inteliigent?
Disney and Lucas film with so many writers and personnel on their team, who's only job is to craft amazing Star Wars stories, cannot think of basic story, and then rework their own main storylines, like Thor did here? Is that what you are telling us? That they are incompetent team of storytellers?
@@jameskirk4692 Yes, they are ideas by definition. You can describe your ideas, that doesn't make them creations.
I already explained why it matters if he is reworking somebody else's story, it makes your job far easier than Filoni's so you cant pretend Thor is a better story teller than Filoni. Creating your own story is harder than trying to play script doctor. I hate Ahsoka show, every episode in fact, but i am not so delusional to think I or Thor would do a better job than Filoni. Between us and Filoni, it is Filoni who has demonstrated the ability to create tv shows, so i wouldn't make asinine claims pretending we could do a better job when we have no CV to prove that. But being better than us doesnt make your story good, we are not professionals, it is not impressive to have a better CV in storytelling than a youtuber and a software developer.
This reminds me of that spider-man fan who was upset with Disney spider-man movies and decided to make his own spider-man movie. Except i can respect him more because at least he risked getting made fun of and made his own spider-man movie. For a fan film made by a teen/early 20s kid, it was not too bad, it is one of the more competently made fanfilms from a technical perspective, but he really only proved that having ideas is not the same thing as having a film. In reality, his ideas only sounded good when he described them to us, the movie was actually extraordinarily boring because he didn't understand what makes scenes interesting and entertaining in a film, something that only comes from experience. So what i am saying is having humility goes a long way, Thor's ideas may just suck as much or even more in film.
I always enjoy your stories thor. And you can always say with confidence that the stuff u make up is better than Disney Sw bc at least your characters have actual motives instead of just doing things bc it's in the script. I've been writing a SW story myself. I started the day after ahsoka ended bc I was so disappointed with how it crashed and burnt. It's been more entertaining to me than the stories we've been getting.
I agree!
And nice to hear you enjoy writing star wars stories yourself. Am glad for you.
Just like with your rewrite of Kenobi, this is much, much more creative and thought out than the story of the original show. Not only is your passion for star wars clearly visible here, but also your critical thinking and perhaps even more experience with writing than Filoni has?
I don't know, anyway keep up the good work!
You gotta watch the pitch meeting for Ahsoka it was hilarious
And the honest trailer 😅😂
Just imagine what HISHE would do if they did one 😅😂
Just watched the pitch meeting a little while ago and it was hilarious 😂
Love this version! Definitely want to hear more on what you would have done with the story!
As someone who (mostly) loved the show, I do agree that having a dream sequence of Rebels with Ahsoka and Vader would have been amazing. I wish we had seen Ahsoka being torn about how she hasn’t found Ezra and concerned about keeping her promise to him. It would have made more sense if we had seen her going from prioritizing saving Ezra to feeling like they had to stop Thrawn at all costs. In the show, it seems like Ahsoka doesn’t really care about Ezra until their reunion.
In regards to the start of this series, they definitely needed to setup the nightsisters waaay earlier. Like the fact that morgan was one is very abrupt and out of nowhere.
In my mind we should show morgan hearing the voices of the mothers or visions of peridea and explaining her desire to go there. Why shes so confident in thrawns existence or return when she (from what weve seen) has no means of communication with or confirmation of thrawn.
Yeah, who was that masked man? ... Really I can't remember his name- truly a great payoff with that one.
I really love the direction you took these. Some even better ideas than I came up with.
I like that you have Sabine out tracking down Purgil and also the undead night sisters. All of that makes for a more interesting story.
I felt like most of the narrative failures could be resolved by 1 flashback at the start of the first three episodes.
Episode 1 - Even before the crawl we have a flashback/scenes that summarizes the last episode of Rebels. We start it off w Ezra asking Ahsoka for help for the final battle at Lothal. She says she cant. The rest is a live action recap of Thrawn asking for Ezra’s surrender and the Ezra using the Purgil to take Thrawn away.
This gives us a connection to all of the characters in the story.
Episode 2 - A flashback of Ahsoka talking to Sabine as the news of the Night of a Thousand Tears come in. Sabine igniting Ezra’s lightsaber and stating she needed to make the Empire pay. Ahsoka consoling Sabine, using the force to turm off the Lightsaber, and saying “That is not the way.”
This gives us a different tension point for a future rift between Sabine and Ahsoka.
Episode 3 - A flashback between Ahsoka and Anakin right before she leaves the Jedi order.
Anakin telling her that he feels like he failed her and her replying she feels like she failed him. Then Anakin mentioning he will be sad stating that if she leaves now it will almost be as if you were never here.
This connects new to the character of Ahsoka that she has a connection to Anakin and also gives an explanation as to why most ppl haven’t heard of her before.
I think if I could, I'd make 2 changes that could've fixed some issues with the show.
1. The new galaxy is a place where the force is abundant, and anyone can use it (kind of the opposite of how the vong were cut off from the force). That way, when Sabine uses the force in the finale, it makes sense, and her training gives her an advantage. Plus, instead of zombie stormtroopers you could have an army of force-using stormtroopers for a "cool" factor.
2. Thrawn reveals to Ahsoka he could've returned to the main galaxy at any time. However, since he views the force as unpredictable (Pretty sure he mentioned that in the show), and Ezra was trapped with him, he decided to stay to prevent Ezra from returning with him. Then, when he learns from Morgan that Ahsoka is on her way, he used himself as bait to trap the greatest threats to his return (since he doesn't know about Luke).
The new galaxy actually feeling like a new galaxy and making Thrawn an actual threat eg not just hanging around eating donuts for the last 10 years or whatever would have been the most significant changes but the show needed many.
30 seconds into your version and it’s already blowing the socks off what Disney produced. Some of Rebels in live action to get everyone up to speed would have been a ton of fun
Hey Thor, you have to finish this now. Your take is spot on and would definitely have made the series more interesting, not to mention better paced
I'm not really into fanfics, but I've always found your stories to be the exception. I'm glad you want you to bring more creativity back to the channel and keep things alive and interesting in this lean Disney era.
Thor, this is the kind of material I would love to see more of on your channel.
At this point they should just start from 0 in a new era and focus on good new characters and story as sort of a fresh start for star wars
It's a huge improvement. The only thing I would do differently is have it so that Thrawn has returned already at the start of the series. This matches up better with what we saw in Mando season 2. Ahsoka is on his trail both to discover his plans to revive the empire and to get clues as to where Ezra has been lost. She discovers the intergalactic map/supernavigator in Thrawn's possession (it's an artifact he discovered while in exile that allowed him to return) and captures it from him.
Love your stories, Thor! I’m hoping for a continuation to this!
Thor, please finish this series! Your rewrites and reimagining are always great. I’m still waiting on your sequel trilogy btw😅
Episode I: FALLEN JEDI
Within a building of Coruscant, Hera Syndulla is recounting the heroic tale of Luke Skywalker, Han Solo and Leia Organa to her five year old son, Jacen Syndulla, with Chopper holoprojecting images.
Jacen asks about his mother’s own adventures and about his dad and the entire Ghost crew. Hera then has Chopper show images of Kanan Jarrus, Hera, Chopper, Garazeb Orrelios, Sabine Wren and Ezra Bridger and explains how they weren't just a band of rebels but also a makeshift family who fought against the Empire.
Hera tells of how Kanan was a former Jedi who trained Ezra as an apprentice, and the two managed to become a formidable team, facing down foes such as Inquisitors, Vader, Maul and Thrawn.
Hera briefly goes into how another former Jedi Ahsoka Tano had joined them in the fight with the growing rebellion until she disappeared following a Jedi only mission.
Hera then tells of how in order to liberate Ezra’s homeworld, both Jedi had to make sacrifices in order to save the planet from the hands of the imperial Grand Admiral Thrawn, who had set up a TIE advanced factory. Kanan would sacrifice his life in order to save Hera and the crew, and Ezra sending himself and Thawn away with the use of space whales called Purgill, giving the rest of them the chance to free Lothal from the Empire’s clutches.
When Jacen asks about what happened to Ahsoka Tano, Hera can only say that as far as they all know, she could still be out there…
On Malachor, Ahsoka Tano recovers from her encounters with both Darth Vader and Darth Sidious, before beginning to look around the barren planet for a way off. During her search, she comes across the injured 8th brother, who immediately surrenders to the former Jedi upon seeing her white lightsabers.
When Ahsoka ‘asks’ him to see if he can communicate with anyone, the inquisitor coldly replies how the explosion of his own lightsaber has damaged his communicator and how his ship was stolen, leaving the two of them stranded.
The 8th brother then attempts to convince Ahsoka into killing him, saying that he would do the same in her position and that there was no point in him leaving as Vader would end him for failing to recover the Sith Holocron, but Ahsoka insists on keeping him alive, as a prisoner.
The two of them then scrounge the ruined temple, finding very few resources for ways to escape and for food, with only water from under the temple being found. Ahsoka asks how the 8th brother managed to survive while hunting Maul for him to reply that he had only recently come to Malachor, shortly before her arrival.
After some time passes, both begin to starve, with the inquisitor suggesting they eat the bird Morai, which Ahsoka strongly rejects. When finding the bodies of both the 5th brother and 7th sister, the 8th brother comes up with the plan for each of them to eat their carcasses to survive, which Ahsoka also refuses to do.
When he asks what they should eat then, she brings up an ancient meditation method that Jedi use to stay in a sense serenity, which the inquisitor chalks up to jedi lies, and insists that he would kill himself rather than starve to death, leading to Ahsoka letting him have his way while she chooses meditation over eating dead bodies.
Upon scavenging through his fallen comrades, belongings, the 8th brother is frustrated to find no communications, but is elated to see the 7th sister’s lightsaber fully intact, taking the opportunity to try to sneak up on the meditating former jedi, only for Ahsoka to announce that if he attempts to kill her, she will cut him down without a second thought, leading to him hesitating and focusing back on his ‘food’, deciding to ultimately not reveal his new lightsaber until the right moment.
More time passes and while Ahsoka forces the 8th brother to gather material in the hopes to build a communication dish, finding pieces of material from Maul’s destroyed ship and from the fallen inquisitors. When he asks how she knows how to make one, she replies how this isn't her first time surviving stranded which he can only say it's a matter of time until they both die on his forgotten sith world.
Some time later, Ahsoka and the 8th brother begin to open up before a makeshift fire, with Ahsoka saying how they were both Jedi at some point, and the inquisitor snarkily replying how everyone knew who Anakin Skywalker’s padawan was, until she was accused of bombing the temple, revealing the Jedi Order’s weakness and causing her to leave before it fell. When Ahsoka asks who he used to be, he only tells her that he was once a padawan like herself and eventually saw the corruption of the Jedi because of Ahsoka’s and the true culprit, Barriss Offee’s actions.
Ahsoka would ask how he survived, to which he states that he had gotten a message from Palpatine before order 66, telling him to kill his master and flee to a set of secret coordinates. The 8th brother then tells of how he committed the deed and fled right before the purge began, leaving everything and his name behind.
Before Ahsoka returns to her meditative state, the inquisitor speaks of how he used to be known with the name ‘Marrok’.
Much later, while Ahsoka and Marrok attempt to build the communication dish, the Togruta asks the Terrelian Jango Jumper what he would now do if the chance of rescue came, he only replies how he would likely go into the bounty hunting business as the skill of using the force to hunt his prey was the only life he knows. Ahsoka suggests a path of redemption, and he only laughs saying that would be impossible for someone like him, and when Ahsoka keeps insisting on him rejecting the dark side, he reveals that he had hunted down the Jedi council member Coleman Kcaj in the past, killing him with no mercy, causing Ahsoka to stop in silence.
After a long period of time, the functioning transmitter manages to get a signal, and upon contacting a scavenging ship Ahsoka calls out to them for pick up, and it's only after Ahsoka gets a response does Marrok make his move, making a slashing attack with his hidden lightsaber against Ahsoka, who barely dodges the unexpected betrayal which results in the communication dish being destroyed, catching her off guard while Marrok makes a run for the arriving ship.
Ahsoka attempts to catch up and subdue the fallen jedi, only for Marrok to send a few S-Mine detonators in her direction, slowing her down enough for him to enter the ship, kill its crew and jump into hyperspace, leaving her alone with Morai.
Time passes by again and Ahsoka delves deeper into her force meditation, and with Morai’s help, eventually a tremor in the force is felt, and Ahsoka reaches out and calls to the distant feeling, and soon enough, a Mandalorian ship arrives, and a familiar face comes out to meet her, a former member of the Ghost crew, Sabine Wren, who looks both happy and disappointed to see her.
The Mandalorian artist states how she had found this place thanks to Rex mentioning it during her search for potential places Ezra could have disappeared to, and how she had a ‘feeling’ which she can’t explain.
Ahsoka then realizes that Sabine was the presence she had felt in the force, and faints from exhaustion and near starvation, with the Mandalorian taking her inside the ship before departing, leaving Morai to fly back into the temple…
One of my biggest problems is that none of the ideas (most of them really interesting) presented weren’t elaborated on *at all*, like the nightsisters and the purgil coming from another galaxy or Sabine wanting to train because of Mandalore’s purge
Thank you for bringing back creative videos! They’re my favorite videos of yours, and I honestly haven’t been watching regularly since those dropped off. Excited to get more from your creative mind!
Wow, that sounds great! I do miss your stories, which I have not heard you do in a while.
I love this! And I like the idea of changing the name of the series. Not just for the reasons you mentioned, but also because it's not primarily ABOUT Ahsoka & here place in either galaxy. It seems to me that that's what all these other main character-named series are about: Andor is about Andor's place & who he is; the Mandalorian's about him & his place; even Boba Fett (for all it's problems) is at least about Boba & HIS place; the Ahsoka series is not.
I've been thinking of this for a while- I just wanted to put this comment on a video where people are more likely to see it (as opposed to one of the older ones where Thor addresses this issue). Anyway, again, Thor, I love this video & what you're dong with this- and I like your creative work in general (even if I can't always follow through with it due to length, and other things I want to do).
If the show is anything short of a retcon to the sequels it will never make a difference. All roads lead to the sequels still, RIP Star Wars 2012.
I liked the show but I’m really loving this rewrite! Please continue!
“A surprise to be sure, but a welcomed one.”
Love these changes so far, especially the character intros with more Nightsister presence and Sabine mapping the Purgill migrations. I would still want to build to the Anakin World Between Worlds sequence, by making Ahsoka more generally tentative (which I know would really mean making changes to S2 of Mandolorian and Book of Boba Fett also), but particularly in making Sabine the one asking for Jedi training (for the reasons you specify here about communicating with Purgill) and Ahsoka being the one to hesitate to teach her. Honestly, I think Ahsoka losing a little of the faith in herself after confronting Darth Vader would make sense. That would mean Anakin's last lesson could be more clear. That's she's not destined to follow in his footsteps, and neither is anyone she trains. Plus, expand that train of thought to include how Anakin didn't follow Obi Wan's path either, and you can justify bring Ewan McGregor in to get a live-action Clone Wars memory/dream with all three of them. This would also fit perfectly with one of the better scenes in the current show, Baylon Skoll calling Ahsoka out on her propensity to reach for violence. "How inevitable".
I like this idea! The first two episodes of the Ahsoka Series were essentially a Rebels Recap, so this gets us into the new story sooner. And it gives us actual reasons for character motivations, beyond The Plot Needs It
Great ideas Thor! Hoping you continue this!
Love your fanfics Thor! Keep up the amazing work
Definitely better! I hope you can continue with these
I've been hoping for you to do something like this again. So keep it up like your version so far
Another tiny change that would be great: have Morgan Elsbeth look like a Night Sister.
I really enjoyed this, Thor! I hope you'll continue this story.🙂👍
Your version is great and I think it would be awesome if you continued it!
Would love to hear more episodes in this series! Already like the way you decided to streamline the first few episodes!
Loved seeing this type of video Thor! Was really enjoyable to hear concepts you would’ve put into play. I hope to see more of it! Maybe even bring Naboo along for some of these love hearing yalls inputs!
I really dig this version. Great work! Also it’s quite impressive how the inflection of your speech manages to almost always end on an upbeat. I can’t even make myself do that. 😂😂 But seriously amazing stuff and I want to hear more.
This story revision is clearly an upgrade. Great job! Title Suggestion: "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Get Ezra."
Finally got around to watching this and yes please make more 🙏 I'm already loving this. Fixin' to watch pt 2.
Please continue making the series. You have done a good job so far, and obviously put a lot of time and thought into it. Filoni should team up with you to make a second season that was stronger than the first one :)
YES! A Thor rewrite! It's been a long while, but worth it.
this seems like a good start, and i loved your reworking of the end of the clone wars.....keep this up please thor!😸❤️🔥
Enjoying your changes so far!
AI just needs to advance to the point where you, and a few others, can truly fix all of these "promising" projects that missed the mark. Great job, as always.
This is a major improvement over what we got. Please continue.
Stunning retreatment. I love it. Well thought, well planned, and actively fixes plot holes, yes plot holes. I’m tired of all Disney live action (other than Andor) feeling like the first draft. This feels like the much needed redraft.
Yay! This was great! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 I always enjoy your fan fics and this one didn’t disappoint ❤️
So far, I love it. I wish someone at Lucas films would have your passion or just common sense on some of your points. I though the show was no good overall (5/10) and this is already way better! Keep it going please
Please more! Great content as usual Thor :)
Thor, I like this video. It just felt like you giving some constructive criticism rather than bashing on the show. I wouldn’t change the story, but these are the things that I would change in order to make it much better.
1. Hire a better choreographer or at least put the stunt doubles to use.
2. Hire somebody else to write the dialogue.
3. Let people die. I want to see main characters die, in order to show that nobody is safe. When I saw the red logo, I was thinking this show was going to get dark, but it had the most Disney feeling finale.
4. We need to break away from the trend of 8 episodes. We need at least 12 episodes and for each episode to be at least an hour long. I feel like that would also help with the pacing.
Please continue this!
When I start hearing about deleted scenes where Ezra tells Sabine about what he’s been up to and other important details, I’m convinced the major problem with Ahsoka is the editing. There could be a really good cut of this show that we didn’t get. I’m on the same page as you. With some tweaks, this show would have been great, not just ok.
You still need to do the HK-47 video.
I think your version makes more sense. I did not watch Rebels (but I have a little bit of understanding or knowledge of it) and only watched the 1st season or two of Clone Wars.
I thought that this series would of benefited from a retelling live action flashback of how Ezra and Thrawn got to this other galaxy, because I still don't know the back story and really nothing in this show makes me want to know.
Yeah I think the show wouldve benefitted from a quick "This happened 10 years ago flashback" where Thrawns 7th fleet gets purgil jumped with Sabine and Hera watching.
@@DavidWalker1987 Ha, that's funny the space whales sent them to this new galaxy- did not get that from the show... But if they mention it, I have the excuse that I was so bored watching this my mind kept wandering off- so, I might of missed that. But, if that is true- why did they wait 10 years to track down some space whales and find out where they go?
Good on you Thor Skywalker, for having at least one character devote her time to actually doing something that might find a way to rescue their friend.
The stupid space-ball map is so stupid and so over played in Disney Star Wars- can't they come up with something better- Disney use to be "the house of ideas" (or was that Marvel?). Every single Disney Mickey Mouse Star wars has to have a secret map that shows where people are whether or not they want to be found, they will leave a map so 10 years later some one will be able to locate them.
I read an article recently where the writer was lambasting Lucasfilm ST writers and directors saying that SW fans know more about the IP than any of them. Here’s proof! Well done Thor!
I’m at the edge of my seat, this is so good! More, please!
Hey Thor,
Please keep this up. I literally cant wait for the rest and need more!! I did enjoy the ahsoka show but i love your ideas! Which just makes me wonder... why cant disney and lucasfilm find good writers for these shows to make them from good or just okay to great and amazing?
I do think live-action flashbacks, memories, dreams, whatever’s would’ve been a good way to fill-in viewer unfamiliar with the animated characters… but I would’ve started the show out with Ahsoka searching for the map in an Indiana Jones-esque adventure, not unlike what we saw, but much more elaborate… and then eventually get to a scene with Ahsoka interrogating Morgan Elsbeth to give us some idea of the plot and characters… and then end the premiere with Baylan and Shin attacking and freeing Elsbeth… with the idea being that she needed Ahsoka to retrieve the map for her, for some reason 🤷🏻♂️
also, I’d stretch the story we got over two or three seasons, with Ep.5 being the finale, with Thrawn only teased in a post-credit scene 🤙
Thor Filoni, the next Star Wars Producer/Writer
Ahsoka feels like the first draft of Empire Strikes Back by Leigh Brackett. Poetic scenery but lacking in stakes and falling into a lot of tropes. Your take fills in the meat and sinew of the story.
It was Brackett's first screenplay though, and she *was* dying of cancer at the time, and we never saw what it might have been if she and Lucas had worked on it more.
Much better! The beginning especially is a huge improvement - reminds me of the Gandalf-Balrog fight at the start of Two Towers. hope you'll continue. The show was really bad as far as I'm concerned and when fans like yourself rewrite things so, so much better and make changes that seem so obvious, it makes me wonder why the actual show writers couldn't come up with them in the first place. Thanks and hope you continue.
There was the Gold Man review of Ahsoka, where he suggested starting with a live-action recreation of the ending of the Battle of Lothal, Ezra surrendering to Thrawn and then pulling the purrgil surprise. Thus establishing Ezra, Thrawn, Sabine, and Hera in one scene.
Hmm... What if you'd start with that, then have Sabine with the purrgils, and then you have the transition to the Vader-Ahsoka flashback and Ahsoka herself? Reordering the start of the series a bit. Of course, if the rewrite is focusing more on Ahsoka as the main character, then starting with her makes a lot of sense.
Perhaps instead of two flashbacks, you have sabine reviewing recordings of the jump - alongside star maps and hyperspace routes etc.
I always thought when they were showing her in ezras tower, the walls shouldve been full of lists of the names of places/systems shed visited trying to find him. All planned out and crossed off and whatnot.
No matter how it's organized, I feel that Ahsoka's confrontation with Vader, her first meeting of Anakin and the end of the battle for Lothol all needed to be in the series, preferably early on
You remaking the IP is one of my favorites.
I would love to see you remake all the movies, including the OT
Outstanding. Keep it coming Thor!
Just made me realize, they could have made the map a nightsister holocron (or at least something that holds the same purpose but a nightsister alchemy/spirit shenanigans variant).
Sounds good. Please keep them coming.
Oh boy! Every consider becoming a script writer? Loved this, though I'd say you have a of minimum 2 episodes here, if not three. I thought you just might tweak the beginning episodes and just fix the last two. Now I'm looking forward to the additional revisions you have planned. Great ideas. Thanks
Very well done, man! Really enjoyed it.
This was really interesting.your Kenboi rewrite bored me but here I'm on the edge of my seat. I really like Sabine having her quest and working towards finding Ezra. it makes her so much more of a character. When I was watching the show I was more interested in Ahsoka but listening to your verison I'm most interested in Sabine. I like how you don't hide much. I'm curious to see well hear how you would do the rest of the story.
Kinda disappointing that with just a few tweaks SO much could have been better. Really liked this thought experiment.
I do like this , seems better set up
I dig your rewrite so far, definitely keep going! The only criticism I have is that it needs more lightsaber fight scenes / action scenes. IIRC the first episode had 3 lightsaber scenes (I canceled my D+ subscription so I can't check if that # is correct), which made for an exciting episode. After many SW properties with either no lightsaber fights or very few I felt this was the most refreshing part of Ahsoka as opposed to 3 seasons of Mando, then Boba Fett, then Andor with almost no lightsabery action. Action beats are important for any action show, but it is those kind of scenes and uses of the Force that make SW unique and more exciting than people just using blasters in Sci fi shows. I find actual duels with lightsabers (instead of just 1 person in a scene using a lightsaber on non-wielders) to be the most impactful fights. I suggest you throw more of them in your rewrites. Even just throwing in more space ship battles will help with slow pacing. Anyway, keep it up!
please continue this story mate i really want to hear ur take and idea of second part of the season
This should have been animated Rebels season 5, period , with entirely different story,maybe what Thor proposes or something else.
I hope to see more of this soon.
Love this style of video
Needed big changes tbh. But if I could make one change it would be Thrawn actually enslaved some native populations with the new galaxy actually being a very interesting place which although he still couldnt get back to the other galaxy was actually becoming a serious threat.