Being Bullied - Why Steven’s Story matters | Colm O'Brien | TEDxDunLaoghaire
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- čas přidán 9. 12. 2019
- Colm is a Business Owner, Coach and Blogger, a Best-selling Published Author, Accredited Thought leader in Entrepreneur Development and a Motivational Speaker. Outside of that he volunteers on the boards of CARI (Children at Risk in Ireland) as board member and The Lime Tree Theatre in Limerick as Chairman. He is the proud father of three adult children and is passionate about leadership and role-modelling for the next generation. Colm is a Business Owner, Coach and Blogger, a Best-selling Published Author, Accredited Thought leader in Entrepreneur Development and a Motivational Speaker. Outside of that he volunteers on the boards of CARI (Children at Risk in Ireland) as board member and The Lime Tree Theatre in Limerick as Chairman. He is the proud father of three adult children and is passionate about leadership and role-modelling for the next generation. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
Thank you. I was bullied. I'm 50 now. It helped me. Didn't stop the bullying then, but it helps me now.
Thanks
Powerful message, Colm. An idea well worth spreading.
That is brilliant Colm. More proof that you should have at least been shortlisted at the speaker factor finals. In my opinion you were head and sholders above the rest based on the criteria used by the judges. I don't know what they were thinking and other people who saw you in the finals said the same
Love The Kindness Steven displayed
Colm, i really like this one, well spoken and explained. Regina
My son was viciously bullied when we moved to London. On the first day, the leader of the 'tough guys' invited my son to join his gang and explained who they were against. My son gave him a lecture about the way we are all part of each other and it's important to work with everyone. So the leader of the gang turned everyone against my son. At playtime they would play 'Ghost-Busters' inserting my son's name in place of 'Ghost.' The 'game' was to look for opportunities to hit or slap or kick him. Then everyone would laugh.
I was a single mum and student. We were very short of funds, so some of my son's uniform was second-hand and didn't fit well and bike, which he proudly bid for in an auction, had seen better days. The wealthy kids at his school called him 'Scruffy' and the 'less well off' kids called him 'Posho' because he spoke nicely and was, like Colm's son, a very kindly, gentle, polite and spiritually wise soul. They all made fun of his bike which they nicknamed 'Tatty-Bike.'
On one occasion I was called to the school because he had been beaten up in playtime - by more or less all the boys in the class. He was on the Climbing Frame, peacefully playing on his own. They pulled him off and knocked him down. They were kicking him and jumping on him. The Playground Supervisor couldn't stop it and had to get several staff. Later I asked where his best friend was. Had he called the staff for help? He said no. He was so terrified that they would turn on him if he tried to stand up for him, that he was in the thick of the attackers.
When I came to the school he was sitting on the floor outside the Head's Office, waiting for me. The bullies were all in class. As far as I know nothing was done.
I knew all about the bullying and so did the school. I was doing my best to support him but I did not feel the school was taking it seriously. For example, on one occasion the Head said to me that he had called my son and the leader of the gang which was causing the bullying into his room - and insisted that the bully apologise, which he did. But he kicked my son as he was going out - when he thought the head wouldn't see. The head said this as if it proved he was doing what he could but was helpless. And when I mentioned it to the Receptionist a few years later (after my son had moved on to the Secondary School) she said 'There's always a reason for a child to be bullied and it's just part of growing up.'
I guess there is always a reason. That is that insecure kids will gang together and pick on anyone who is different in any way - to add to their sense of strength and belonging. But I think it's up to the school to watch what is going on and know what is going on and create an environment which is kindly and supportive of everyone. If necessary parents need to be brought in and sanctions imposed. Perhaps even suspension if it continues - easier said than done - but essential to take sustained and effective action.
Found this very touching Colm ❤️