HUMBLE AN INFJ AT YOUR OWN RISK
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- čas přidán 6. 07. 2024
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INFJ Life Coach Lesson: Learn the pitfalls of humbling an INFJ and how to steer clear of them. Discover the four possible outcomes and the one positive way to handle it. By grasping this dynamic, we can avoid situations where others keep trying to humble us. Let's talk about how to turn this around for personal growth and self-improvement.
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How has it played out when people have tried to ‚humble‘ you as an INFJ?
Badly, as I do not accept lies from people like that.
They destroy themselves and I have no sympathy to help them out of that mess.
INTP (UDUF)
I had an INFJ (ex boss) sabotage my relationships. When I confront her, she sabotaged my job instead of making things right. And even after I was bullied into quitting, she still kept going after my relationships. And found out even her INFJ daughter was in on it. I call out her daughter, force her to explain me away, used the opening to out the people she used, got her fired, and now arrested. Now I just need to finish things off with everyone else at Walmart.
Meanwhile, Walmart is harassing my INFJ brother. He thought I was just playing the victim. Now he knows it's not just my problem. They're even going after my family.
I've humbled 2 INFJs. And my older brother is always being humbled and learning to humble himself. None of them like it, but when they get backed into a corner, they don't exactly get a say if they want a chance at anything better. Now my older brother is finally getting along with my parents.
No kidding, I walked away from everything and now I’ve been struggling to begin again. All the old relationships I had have gone and my sadness was terrible, there are a few people I would have liked to keep around but I didn’t try to speak my truth I believed they knew how I felt and they just did not care. Going forward I will verbalize when I feel discomfort and see if this makes strong relationships ❤
It's the act of imposing hierarchy that we can't stand.
You cant humble someone who's already humble by nature (infj), those who try end up embarrassing themselves 😅🤭✌️
Amen!
✨👏👏
💯🎯
agree 💯
Yep
It’s impossible to humble me, an INFJ, when I am extremely humble. We’re already humble.
I like to laugh (lout loud & genuinely) then point out the humor in what they’re trying to do.
Wonderful strategy to ease the situation
I kinda feel like seeing us as prey, they end up as the meal. We aren't the fly, we're the wax trap paper that's shaped like a web. You do it to yourselves.
🤦♀️ I'm such a typical INFJ. You get one of two responses (working on speaking up and creating a 3rd choice though).
1). I say nothing and choose not to engage with the person as much as possible.
-OR-
2). I've been pushed to the point I tell that person the truths that I've observed and their ego and our relationship is done. Whoops 🙊
Either way they loose access to me.
Once a patient who’s a food tester and 10 years younger than me tried to teach me how to be a medical professional…
She literally said if you wanna be professional *do this and that* and spent *whole hour* questioning my medical knowledge. Since she’s so confident that I wouldn’t bite her back as her logic was “customer is god”
I didn’t budge and just answered her everything in medical term until she totally lost by their meaning, gave her smirk, charged her for my time while professionally door slammed by made sure that she will be unable to see me ever again.
While always working overtime and dedicating to lot of charity work, I reminded myself that I did good by donating my precious time to her and let nothing taint the proud of myself.
I've never been one to take people's sh*t! But I've learned over the years to temper my response to other people's dysfunctional behavior by being firm but respectful.
Been doing this all my life. Psychopaths do this to you. Normal people don't TRY to do this to you.
That's where I learned. I don't typically go for the major organs unless all other routes have been exhausted. But if I think I'm dealing with a new psycho I'll make an exception.
@@MaryDunford I've had to develop a strange and wonderful sense of humor so they may get a tap dance routine and shown the exit quite quickly . Switch roles on them and act like the narcissist psychopath momentarily. This freaks them out.
As an infj I can see the insecurities and masks people wear and I very often ignore them and look past them. If a person were to come at me to try and humble me, I can crush their soul and there is no looking back for them after that. I know I have that power.
Door slam all the way as they’ll just attempt to gaslight you .
I had an internship working with police/detectives and there was one who would continuously play the female detectives off of each other. He wasn't mean per se but had this habit of going from girl to girl saying something slightly rude and then walking away. He never did this to me except at the very end. When he did I walked right up to him, shouldered him hard twice, and said "don't mess with me, I know muay thai". I went into the other room and sat down to calm down. Then I realized I didn't have to hide there because of him so I walked confidently past his cubicle and he was sitting there almost afraid. I was surprised at both my bravery and also his reaction, because he came off very suave and confident all the time. I think he knew it was a mistake to mess with me.
However, as an INFJ, I do feel very tired of these power games. I seem like a magnet for it my whole life and really wish I could just have some peace. I'm not sure if it's even possible now, I'm 36 and it seems wherever I go, these problems follow.
Oh man, with the types of people most interested in policing, I totally see that sort of situation happening to an INFJ. Well handled!! Wish I could've seen him haha. You know, if you feel like power games (etc.) follow you wherever you go, you might benefit from Wenzes' Boot Camp. I'm 34 and have been in it for 2 years... it's helped immensely. You're definitely not too old for things to change!
He's a foolish ESTP.
Off topic and just wondering if any INFJs can relate (God knows no one else will understand): For starters im a very social INFJ. Im a social chameleon that gets along with everyone, so no one really knows too much of a conflicting side of me. Well the other day im walking back to my office with Ice Cream and I just knew this guy was going to comment on it (Hes commented on my food choices before), so as i walked by he says "Ice Cream" and gives me these valley girl eyes like deep down inside hes thinking "OMG ice cream!! As if!! Like gag me with a spoon" So i couldnt hold back and, in an INFJ way, i blurted "Yes im eating ice cream. This is a very normal human activity" and left the area to my office. Now this is where the weirdness and the brunt of the question comes in: When i blurted this response three or four people were saying stuff like "wow" "Geez" Whats your problem", Etc. Another employee came back to my office and was like "what was that all about?" and she felt like it was directed at her and the other people around seemed to take offense. And im thinking why? It wasnt directed at you and i felt like it was a completely ok response to a dumb question. Its like i cant get angry. If i get angry its a bad thing that effects the entire universe and comes back on me directly. No one ever has my back in these situations. Online or in real life. Thank you for reading this long drawn out question and can anyone relate?
I encounter that type of scenario pretty often, & it's exhausting & frustrating. We're used as people's emotional punching bags because of their inability to regulate their own thoughts & feelings, but God forbid we respond in a direct way because it hurts their ego & feelings. It's especially irritating when the person is significantly older than you, & just refuses to behave maturely or respectfully.
Oh, yes! This is absolutely relatable! This is why I try not to care anymore about how ppl take things. Not so long ago I realized that even if communication is key (both verbal and non-verbal), everything goes down to how ppl interpret things. I always try to express myself assertively and with kindness, but some ppl still take offense at the smallest thing ever without trying to understand my perspective or intention. Some ppl have a preconceived idea of who we are or what is going on around them, instead of keeping an open mind and trying to be as unbiased as possible. So, at some point, I just focus on my own business. I try to be kind and mindful of how I react or deliver my message, but I decided not to care much if others want to make a huge snow ball out of the most insignificant thing ever. In the end, I try to filter my relationships and choose (whenever possible) the ppl I surround myself with.
I would have said "does this ice cream make my butt look fat" and left it at that
Definitely, I've had this. I only recently got onto this term and it's called a Dog Whistle. Only you can hear the real intent of the person blowing the whistle (speaking something that others see as harmless but the person saying it nows it's annoying you). If you think about it, we are amongst the most sensitive types for this to work as we see the hidden meanings and motives.
I'd of just gone, "Yes, and my god it's nice"😂 It shows though, they're playing to an audience, which we don't need.
@@ezr168 Ya in hindsight. Im so bad at playing that game. Im a 46 year old male INFJ and i still dont get the game. I dont see why this guy would go out of his way to be an azz. It just doesnt make sense to my brain, lol
I too do that - I give fair warning to said person "like, you really don't want to do xyzzy..." to match their energy before I go off. With a very serious stern look like "F around and find out". I also like to give the "I'm pleasant but don't play with me" energy.
Whenever idiots have made the failed attempt at humbling me it's always because of a total misunderstanding of me on their part. I've crushed many souls who have attempted this, and my favorite counter move is a doorslam. If they cannot take a moment to hear out my side, or they're clearly brainwashed against me, I don't waste my time trying to justify my existence to them. I just move on, and they don't exist. They've caused me to not care.
Omg... that's me. They really have a category for us. ❤
I use the same word “crushing soul” too 😂 . Exact same words. Boy infj s sure are a certain way 😊
People ghost me...I think I'm an infj because of all the traits BUT. ?
The only fear I have is that once the person feels that initial "uh oh this is going to cause me pain so I better not do it again" they will feel embarassed and that embarassment will turn into revenge, and then they will go about sabotaging us in more covert ways so as to still try to be more powerful without us realizing... like I feel like that has happened to me before... anyone else? How do you deal?
I guess that's what she means later in the video when she says to cut them off
Yes! Including sending other people to the “dirty work”/get revenge on their behalf. Sometimes cutting people off does not work.
It's usually the people who like to show off and do the complete opposite of humble to someone to "prove a point" who like to humble an already quiet INFJ. Make it make sense 🤦🏽♀️
Thank you for explaining this. This happened to me a few days ago, and now I understand it better. I felt bad for putting the other person in her place, but now I realize I handled it appropriately. She will never have the opportunity to treat me badly again.
I don’t comment on all your videos and for some strange reason I can’t ever subscribe 😭 it just doesn’t let me but this is such a great video I had to shoot you a shout out. Your examples from your corporate career are always amazing additions to your points. Keep up the great work! 😁
Yeah man she's a good corporate coach. You seem cool like a ENFJ.
I love hearing stories of people standing up for themselves!
You did a super job of handling yourself when you answered your bossy and overbearing colleague!
1. You told him you'd let it go this time because you didn't know each other
2. Then you let him know that you weren't going to put up with rude treatment.
I've memorized this response in case I'll need it in the future! 👍 I make it a habit to treat people well, but it's good to have something direct, firm and straight to the point if needed.
You 9:25 did a super job of handling yourself when you answered your bossy and overbearing colleague!
1. You told him you'd let it go this time because you didn't know each other
2. Then you let him know that you weren't going to put up with rude treatment.
I've memorized this response in case I'll need it in the future! 👍 I make it a habit to treat people well, but it's good to have something direct, firm and straight to the point if needed.
I seem to be the one who is extremely emotionally unstable. Always have been. I have tried to correct it but i just cant. Not when in such stressful alien, low vibration, low intelligence, having no real agency... ( Work...) I have to either remain completely silent and brooding off in a corner for hours until i somehow come around. Or i get loud and wild and make unapproriate jokes with others recpetive to raise my mood enough to be able to cope. But if unexpected stressers continue to pile on when i am already feeling so weak i get more and more aggitated until i start throwing things around, talking to myself out loud about whats pissing me off, completely walking off to calm down for maybe hours. Or else getting into a meltdown scenario where i can either disassociate and continue to work at a base level. Very slowly almost in a catatonic state. Having a thousand yard stare.. or i get so overwhelmed i becomd physically ill and start having chest pains, throwing up,migraines, trouble breathing... And then must escape to my vehicle and take a nap for 1-3 hrs or else set in a bathroom stall for nesrly as long with my eyes closed...
Its getting worse lately because the intense heat we are forced to work in. Being 100-110 f. And having steam blowing in our faces. While being soaked head to toe from sweating so bad for hours. To the point my face actually rains and my clothes can be wrung out .. all while wuickly walking over large distances carrying heavy or akward metal objects. Using intense cancer causing cleaning chemicals (also same chemicals being vaporized around us conststly and no choice but to breathe the shit. Which gets so strong it burns our lungs). Then dealing with equipment that is 50-70 yrs old and breaks down constantly. Which we still have to operate and find work arounds for. Making the physicality often 10x greater. While new maintenance hires have no knowledge of how to repair this equipment, the parts needed are never kept in stock, and little by little the whole place is in a downward spirel of chaos, low intelligence, heavy turn over rate, others never doing what's right or common sense. Or especially helping their fellow workers. Spending most time wandering off spreading rumors and gossip and trying to push out anyone who is actually a decent person, or skilled or a hard worker. And being one who gives 110% even through adversity that would destroy these others in a day... I show up day after day after day. Stay hours and hours late most days. Work double shifts, swing shifts, 5-8hr turn arounds. All while doing the job duties of people often not even in my department. But when i am likely on the verge of a stroke or heart attack from heat exhaustion and clock out "on time". I am looked at like a piece of garbage. Meanwhile everyone else does nothing to help. And consistantly disapear for ghe last 1-2 hrs before they then leave on time every single day.
Is it me? Hahaha people disgust me. And the only thing that keeps me going i think is making them hate me because they know i have more strength in one finger than they do in their whole existence.... But if enduring this shit. And being now middle aged and having experienced simialr my entire life... If i have a mental breakdown here snd there, yet continue to stiol get more done than 3 of them.. i think it doesnt matter how i act, or if i"disregulate their nervous systems.." fucking GOOD! Cause they have abused mine for decades...
The way you navigate this personality in & out like you invented it. It's just amazing!!!!
I think the most important thing that is said in this video is how if you let that energy into your sphere, it will affect you. This is the most important thing and INFJ can possibly understand we can analyze we can break things down, but we are very emotionally susceptible to what’s going on around us even if we are logically thinking through it. Our final decisions were going to be based more emotion, you have to keep your boundaries strong if you want to maintain your INFJ freedom and independence and integrity
"You take action and they don't care". Welcome to ECUADOR.
Thank you, Wenzes! This has been very insightful! I believe this applies not only to humbling but any other situation/attitude we don't appreciate. I usually stick to the first and second approach, especially since I always try to keep in mind where people are coming from. But at some point, when the situation repeats itself non-stop, it's important to say something and set some boundaries. Setting said boundaries can be a challenge when people tend to take things personally, but I'm done with avoiding confrontation.
Stay strong in who you are, know thy self.
thanks! i've been under attack by people wanting
to force me from my HOME...and some are COPS
but my inner peace comes from counter-attacking
on LEGAL GROUNDS...they used lies from a two
language do nothing to spin-up people who do not
speak my language...took away my city water on lies
stole my motorcycle out of jealousy...trying to claim
i am crazy for NOT wanting to be their FRIEND 🤣
Part of kindness can be a warning.
Since there's no science behind Myers-Briggs, I wouldn't worry about it. There are far more important things in life.
Only a narcissist would target one and have reason to be abusive like this
I appreciate the awareness, understanding, and responding approach. A very bad alternative is to involve other people and use indirect retaliatory actions. Be present and respond in a natural and truthful way.
11:49 This hit me. This hit hard. This reminds me of two people I know. They themselves can't control their own tone of voice. They are pretty much aware of their "strong" personality and approaches. I guess its hard for them to change that kind of behavior. Both of them are the eldest sibling in their family. I kept on understanding where they come from. I'm the second oldest in my family. I know its still different from the actual eldest but I'm still an older sibling. I know. I see more than the eldest can. Anyways, I eventually felt and realized both of them (the two person I mentioned) their energy and the things I tolerate from them, slowly took a toll on me. I thought understanding them is not gonna bite me in the end. It did. And I realize that now. Yes, they have their own reasons why they became the way they are but it's not a good reason to push their ways on to others. They are not always right. It's not easy for them to accept that. When I say my own thoughts and opinion, they are still being firm with their own. They are like in a debate even though we're just casually talking.
I know they care in their own ways. I can see that. I can feel it. They are not a bad person or anything like that. They are just.......a lot for me as an INFJ.
Great topic Wenzes
Insane video topic. Your so kind.
Thanks! For Jesus Christ of Nazareth..
This is amazing. Thank you Wenzes. This really assisted and gave me clarity on what to do and set my boundaries right off the bat.
I had this happen to me working in a daycare a lady at reception just decided to pick on me week in and week out for months. I kept my cool acted nice and civil until she went too far and tried it harm me professionally I quickly snapped and put her in her place. She let it go and never ever bothered me again!! I think she had relationship issues outside of work.
Good work.
Thank you.
Interesting topic, definitely something to think about. I want to say that I typically will shut someone out, completely out, if they are determined to "humble" me. I have a former boss coming to my mind and I simply walked away, gave no notice, just straight bounced and said I was done with her. Also my ex husband, I cut him out, went radio silent forever. I feel like not saying anything is sometimes the loudest thing you can do to a certain type of individual.
I never walk away anymore, I make them leave.
Idk if I’m truly an INFJ. I have been watching your videos for the last year and I am not richer but I understand myself more and see clarity thank you ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ #teamwenzes
That's part of the journey
Use Good Fruits and Love, Pray for them, Try to bring them to God, Try to avoid being unequally yoked, work to separate if you must and move on. Yet if you are in this situation then it’s likely you also need to pursue God and have issues to work out and thru as well.
They find themselves suddenly unemployed with no idea why and half crying.
Queen 👸🏻
"Letting them have it"; I'll add, encouraging them as a compliment, all the while knowing most flaws that are readily evident. Then they get carried away, "high and mighty"...😂. Then it seems like they are just asking for it. Next thing you know, someone says " you should be humble". 😂😂😂. LmaO. I don't even care enough to bother people with random advice, especially when I'm not a master of the subject myself. Then here comes a GOOFY 🤪...tryna tell me how something is done and they can't follow directions given to them in pictures, words, graphs and video. 😊.
Without knowing anything about MBTI, some years ago I reached to some conclusions on my own (this video is kinda new information). However, I wouldn't have progressed at the same rate if I haven't had found this channel, I'd rather not think about where I could be right now, so stucked.
If someone tries to humble another it is likely they themselves are in need of humbling. Some say you see your own issues in others. Scripture talks of removing the speck from your own eye before trying to removing the log from another’s. Yet all should seek/try to do no harm even to those intentionally or not, in truth or error, whom targets them.
I diddint accept how someone special works I tried to be controlling. I apologized to her and she knows im
supportive. I just want her to feel happy. Thats a mistake I made in the past.
Sounds like projection to me- considering many of your videos are about accidentally breaking people egos - how do you know these people are trying to humble you??
The part of mbti that makes it so special is that we don’t just learn about our own types, but about other types to-infj’s have blinde spot extroverted thinking - so types extroverted thinking up high in their stacks naturally offend infj’s - consider maybe in the same way infj’s are misunderstood , infj’s very often misunderstand other types intentions .. food for thought… as you said “often they don’t even know their behaviour is unacceptable “
Unacceptable to your type sure - or maybe just different
Can I try….?🤔
Ok, I'll bite, what does the acronym stand for, I know I'll regret this but I have to know what this series of letters represents
I'll bite.
Fukin' Google it.
It’s a Myers’s Brigg personality type. INFJ: Introvert-iNtuitive-Feeling-Judging
I focus to real im gone soon
Are these 16 personality typing really based on science? I can't find typing for others I know/ does not predict well about what should be peoples typing. I'm either an INTJ or an INFJ for like 80% of the time sometimes I'm not like how they say these personality types are at all but it's what I score and I am introverted and pensive but also I have over-active mirror neurons. Wenzes, you seem too smart to be following tea leafs readings I wonder how you see these personality tests..?
Sounds like you're talking about kendrick lamar and drake lol.
These anti trump commercials are so annoying
I use my vocabulary as a Black Smith uses a hammer. 77% of my life experience has been Solo. Why would change that now?