Doctor Mike and Mortician React To “Six Feet Under”
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- čas přidán 10. 10. 2020
- Caitlin Doughty is the creator behind the CZcams channel “Ask A Mortician” where she normalizes death and educates her audience about what happens after… well… you know. Being the brilliant mortician she is, I thought it would make a lot of sense for us to not react to a medical drama, but a death drama, so we watched HBO’s Six Feet Under. Despite my years of medical training and experience, there isn’t a lot I know about what happens to the human body after it dies, so Caitlin enlightened me to things such as what happens to prosthetics, the smells of a mortuary, and what happens to your various orifices.
Follow Caitlin @TheGoodDeath and check out her channel here: / orderofthegooddeath
Clarity Funerals and Cremation: www.clarityfunerals.com/
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-Doctor Mike Varshavski
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** The information in this video is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. All content, including text, graphics, images, and information, contained in this video is for general information purposes only and does not replace a consultation with your own doctor/health professional **
Caitlin: "If you don't take care of yourself soon, I will."
Underrated comment! Hilarious and true.
You can always count on a sassy zinger from her!
I think she saw Final Destination and thought Dr. Bludworth was the hero.
Ahahhahahahaha what XD love her
😳😂
I see Caitlin, I click. I am but a simple Deathling.
Agreed
same same. i'd never seen this dude before, though i had heard of him. he seems cool.
She is our Death Mother, after all. ☺
TRUTH
Ikr I love her sooo much😁
Caitlin: "I was studying medieval history, and in medieval times, there was a lot of death"
My brain: "Oh my god, you're right. Everyone who lived in medieval times are now dead!"
If I recall my textbooks, life expectancy was late 30's to 40's in those times
@@clandez6021 The bad part of this is we live longer now but our bodies are only designed to last as long as medieval times. After 40 everything breaks down and you need more and more artificial ingredients to keep it going. So YAY we live longer, but BOO the 2nd half of our live is constant and unbroken pain
I heard her little "the middle ages were magic!" Transition... I like her channel a lot
@@johnpeace971 I hope you do know that average lifespan doesn't mean people died at that age.
It means there were so many that died in childhood that the average got lowered. Most who lived to adulthood would be between 60 and 90 when they did back then too.
Higher average lifespan just means not as many die young.
@@clandez6021 That’s from averaging infant mortality rates. Lots of people who survived childhood lives into their sixties. And there are accounts of people for example Edward III of England living to around 64, give or take. So old was still old not 40.
I love the way Caitlin phrased speaking about the brain. 'You're holding the seat of the soul.' 'It's a privilege.'
Pretty cool.
Titanium hips post cremation are made into signs? So when the sign says "stop", that's a dead person telling you to not get hit by a car.
Why do you have to make it creepy lol
Antonio De La Rosa BAHAHAHAHA!!!
@@dinazwitscher9872 and how about airplane parts, the next plane trip you take could partially be cuz someone died
When hearing about replacements being recycled into planes i was kinda chuffed for that person that always wanted to fly, be a pilot or even be a plane deep in their heart❤️✈️ 😊
Hey I died by a car don’t do it too
"The middle ages were magic"
Yes!!!
Yes!!!!!!!
Bentham's head...
Secret porpoise
... WITCH!
I read her book "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes" years ago. I've been a fan ever since.
The idea of my family spending thousands of dollars to preserve the shell I used on earth, store it in a pretty box inside a glorified septic tank is absolutely ridiculous. I've been eating animals all my life. It's their turn.
Animals are going to eat you, the bugs are
“The bugs always win”… Gil Grissom CSI
That's what I say
[Spoilers from a 20 year old show
In the show, Nate asks for a green funeral and to be quite honest, I want it that way as well: wrap me into a white sheet, in a hole in the ground, simple stone marker.
@@UncleAnaesthesia I want that too, to just decompose peacefully, i hate the idea of being in a coffin
For a moment I genuinely thought you were saying that your family are vegetarian and you want them to eat your corpse - probably a sign I should go to bed.
Their conversation about seeing random bodies vs someone you know is so real. When my boyfriend died, I spent some time with his body shortly after. And it was an incredibly eerie, but also heartbreaking experience. There's something about the way a dead person looks, particularly with the eyes. It was so uncannily sad to look into his eyes, and for the first time know that nobody is looking back at you. He didn't look asleep, he looked dead. He died with his eyes open wide. And I'll never get that image out of my head. But still, I don't regret it. I got to spend one last intimate moment with him.
My little cousin was 29. He looked so old, or his body did, anyway. The stuffed, sewn shut eyes drew me in and I could not help but count the stitches.
This made me cry.
Sorry for your loss , that must have been incredibly hard 😢
I am sorry for your loss, but very much appreciate you sharing. Your words were quite elegantly put I must add.
I'm so sorry for your loss, but glad you got to be with your loved one at that time. You got to say goodbye to him when no one else was there. My husband passed away very suddenly, unfortunately he was out of town in another State. I was in no shape to drive to the State where he died by myself. So, I never got to say goodbye or see him until the mortician brought him home for the funeral. God Bless.
“I work on preventing people from becoming corpses” must be the best description of a doctor’s work that’s ever been made.
more accurate'd be to say: 'i try to postpone people's becoming corpses a lil bit' :D bc now one avoids this forever, to be honest.
@@p1rgit So like "IL put death little bit further" ?)
Read this while he said that
My teacher: Laughs in Doctor of American history.
well, I can think of at least one subset of patients he's failed to do that with... of course, from his perspective, they were already sick and not complying with treatment, so he might just consider it a lost cause there.
Because if he wanted to effectively prevent those people from becoming corpses, he'd tell them, "just exercise and eat healthy and try not to worry about your body size" (be pro-HAES) instead of assuming weight loss doesn't work for 95% of fat patients because they're ignorant, lazy, or have no willpower (even when his own guest at the time was like "no, it's systemic factors"). I don't know how many corpses he's created with that kind of mentality.
"sometimes its made into airplane parts"
good to know I was probably flying on someones titanium hip
at least it's not a stop sign!
@Bjorn Arnesen Billy: Wha- Mommy! I’m scared!
I got this weird witch on a femur with a hip image, so that's fun
its scary to think that someones titanium hip can be the propeller infront of me
Even crazier thought is having helped handle and shape a titanium piece of metal that was later put into a plane. That años happened to be recycled from a crematorium.
My aunt died very recently and I immediately went back to work at the “body farm” at my school and the first donor I put out I actually sobbed because all I could think of was this was someone’s family that died just like my aunt. Luckily my anthropology teacher was there with me and told me it didn’t mean that I was “weak” but that I was feeling normal emotions that would pass. Seeing a dead body is always strange but I guess I had gone callused to it until I lost someone very close to me.
Do you go to UT?
How are you lovely
Doing the job you and your peers do is hard, and feeling sad once in a while is actually good. Humans are adaptable social creatures and as such we are usually afraid of death but can be trained to put those emotions aside.
I think its entirely natural to feel sad and cry when someone close to you dies. Working with dead bodies or studying death... i dont think youd be able to stay sane unless you found a way to separate your feelings and your logical nature.
I dont know what you do or what your job really entails but id strongly suggest having a professional to talk to. Not because you'll go crazy but rather so that you have a way of dealing with your own thoughts and dont get depressed
my aunt died recently. she was cremated. my uncle suspects arson.
I think that’s the thing about life.
We are spiritual beings in a physical vessel and once we die we leave our vessel behind. That’s what gives me hope of an after life. The fact that we can die and vacate our physical being.
Words cannot describe how much I loved Six Feet Under, as a show that could have me crying and laughing hysterically in the same episode.
Nothing makes me happier than seeing Caitlin in collabs.. More people need to know her name and her message.
Yes!! I am beyond excited to see this collab!! She's amazing and not enough people know about her.
She deserves a lot more subscribers!!!!
same! I wrote my undergrad anthro thesis on the death positive community
Yep. Death Positivity should definitely be more mainstream. It's kinda funny. A collab between a doctor/surgeon and a mortician, both careers I'm considering...
Same! It’s super exciting to see these two in one video. 🥰
The A-V Plugs explain why zombies walk so awkwardly.
😂👌🏽👏🏽
😂😂😂😂
That caught me off guard LMFAO!!!
Unless you have a kinky professional of course. Then you might need ex large plugs, lol.
Prevent them to run
My aunt had medically assisted death, she was in unbearable pain from cancer. Seeing the heavy painkiller go in so she could enjoy some time with us and then when the big injection going in, seeing the colour fade from her face and her eyes close was so emotional and extraordinary to see as it was happening.
She has genuinely helped me go from terrified of death to strangely kinda excited for my natural burial 😂
Her aesthetic, her black clothes, her rings, her hair, her voice. I’M LOVING THIS
She's incredible and so happy these two had a collab!!!
Inhave a full death plan and have had the conversations with the people I need to because of her.
She could be a Mortitia Adams lookalike.
I love her to bits and I think she is fascinating
Shes also an Auther of a few books my favorite being "Will my cat eat my Eyeballs "
Before my Mother passed away, she left strict instructions on what was to be done. She didn't want to be embalmed and no open casket or church service. We respected her wishes, but when she did pass, my sisters and I washed her body with oils and water like they did long ago. The most intimate moment, taking one last care of her. Washed, dressed and did her hair one last time. We were able to respect her wishes and help our grieving at the same time.
Even in death the dead deserve to be dressed with respect
Beautiful. This is what Caitlyn urges people to do. To take a part in caring for the body to help you through the grieving process.
My grandmother washed and laid out the dead as part of the job of being a minister's wife. Here's a fun fact: houses that were built before the invention of the funeral home had one of the interior doors hung with what are called "coffin hinges." Instead of having to remove pins to get the door off the pins are fixed and the door is lifted off the pins and then set on chairs to put the coffin on.
I personally dont think I would be able to do that
So brave and awesome of you
at my grandmother's wake i just remember thinking "oh, look at your hair! it looks so good." and remembering how happy and refreshed-looking she was whenever she got something done with her hair. still whenever i think back to that day i just see her smiling ear to ear about her hair again. so contagiously happy. it means so much to me.
I love Caitlin's comment about handling the brain, the personality, thoughts, memories, the soul of a person as a privilege. 💜
"You see that turbine? That's my grandma's hip"
what a line!
She's still waving!
@@TheBeetrootman LOL
And when the plane crashes it might be your granny wanting you to visit her ;)
@@gray1177 Ghost Granny throwing a tantrum LOL
The hot doctor is collaborating with the hot mortician. *HELL YEAH.*
YUSSS! 🙌!
*why am I getting bisexual energy even though I have no sexuality yet-*
I'm a straight man so I can't really comment on Dr Mike. But Caitlin is a looker.
Cthulhoop I’m too young to know who is or isn’t as hot lel
But they are both really cool people!And very brave for helping this society :0
@@Cthulhoop who told you that you compliment other men while being straight ?!😅
I’ve recently discovered Dr Mike and love his channel. I am a huge fan of Caitlin for like 3 years. This is the very collab I needed to see. “The Middle Ages were magic”
Morticians are so important and I think generally undervalued until you need them. Not everyone can do that job. I’m very grateful for people like Caitlin who can!
At my grandpa's funeral, i told my cousin, "It doesn't look like him." My cousin said, "Remember, that's not really him. It's just a shell." That made it much easier.
I bet it was
Well & his spirit.....
This helps me deal with my own mortality. It’s like I’m a pistachio.
Was he a snail?
I don't think so, @@ijustlikebees, though as a farmer he probably had a keen appreciation for (and dislike of) snails.
I really appreciate how the mortician lady addresses that it's okay not to react a certain expected way when faced with the death of a loved one. When my grandpa died, I was entirely unable to cry, yet I was grieving. As opposed to when my cat died, where I basically broke and couldn''t stop crying for 10 days, and was completely hysterical.
When you love someone, your reaction to their passing can vary as much as the relationships themselves did, and that's okay. You're still grieving, just in your own way.
Very true
I appreciate it too. I was sort of upset that I wasn’t more upset when my dog died. And when’s my nana died I was more upset for my mom than sad about her passing. It took a while to work through my feelings. It’s important for people to give themselves permission to feel whatever they feel, and not be upset with themselves for not “mourning correctly”.
She’s one of my favourite CZcamsr for how she addresses things like this
You should read her books, they are incredibly amazing! She also narrates the audiobooks for them.
@@adelinedumas7801 she narrates them? I just got two of her books from the public library, now I have to listen to them too. Thanks for the info.
When my mom died from cancer, looking at her body, I knew it was just her shell. That wasn't her, and I was okay. acceptance came swiftly. Depression took a while to move on from. 😔 Great collaboration. I like her!
Doctor Mike, You are spot on about giving life changing news to a patient. When my ENT told me my biopsy was positive for cancer, it was first thing in the morning and he didn't candy coat it. It was straight out. I was really appreciative about that. Luckily my cancer, so far, was successfully treated and I'm still here. Not ready to give Caitlin, or her friends in the biz, any business!!!
She wrote a book called, "Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs?" It's basically mortician themed questions kids have sent to her and she has answered. It's very informative and interesting. It's a great way to dip your toes into her world. (She has other books as well but like I said, if you are new to all of this, start there.)
And check out her channel! She is amazing!!!!
Yes all her books are fantastic!!
Currently reading this book and thoroughly enjoying it! It's surprisingly informative while entertaining - who knew a book about death could fall under both of these descriptions haha
I have her book "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory." It's a super interesting read (and quite funny at times).
She has a a 3rd book called from here to eternity too! I want all her books so bad!
The video is too short. We need more of this collab.
I feel the same!!
Hell yeah
I was hoping they would tell me how to clean the trunk of my car, as the smell lingers...
Cathy could do half a dozen vids alone with the magic of Rico's best and most successful 'restorations'
remember the episode where the girl gets her head smashed form a road sign ?
@@davidhollenshead4892 oop-
I love this woman’s take on death and its attendant rituals/mystiques. Her humor is amazing given her profession❤️
She did a wonderful video, I think it was the first one I watched of her, about the funerary traditions of African American folks vs White folks here in America. She brought in historians and experts who actually were POC and had them talk about why things are done the way they are and how it started. I won't give any specifics here because you should watch the video but yeah really good.
You should check out her channel, or any of the books she wrote. Great stuff.
I would love to see another collaboration with these 2 wonderful people. Six feet under is where I saw the mom and her friends wash another friends body and sang her out. The song was "Calling all Angels" by The Wailing Jennies. Then they washed Nate's body at the end of the series. Heartbreaking but so moving.
You have summoned the Deathlings Doctor Mike, things may get a little weird arround here now...
you are rIGHT
Yasss!!!
Yep. Had never heard of this guy, but, Caitlin.
Best comment ever
Yeeeeeeeessssssssss
"The only way out is through." Fantastic way of reminding people how to process their feelings.
czcams.com/video/kcoQsvWTrHY/video.html
😊 ❤️
That's Robert Frost, right?
Yes! I had to learn that the hard way, & I did by watching Six Feet Under. The Fisher disfunction was real lol, between that & the deaths I processed so much.
@@_the_ is it? I’ll have to look that up.
I love Caitlin, and I'm so glad that Dr Mike had her on his channel.
The more people who can be steered towards Caitlin's channel, the better. We need more Deathlings!! 🙂
I will never not be thankful for this episode because it introduced me to Caitlin ❤️
Watching g Caitlin’s channel took me from almost having a full blown panic attack at the hypothetical discussion of death and end of life planning to me having plans and requests and conversations that I never before thought I could have.
“A dead body should look dead”
~Caitlin 2020
Dead people should be dead! - Doug from Scrubs, circa 2006
Mhmmm yes the floor is made of floor here.
Patient: “I go to Doctor Mike to take care of me.”
Later, Caitlin Doughty: “You came to me, I’ll also take care of you.”
She don't want you to die
But when you die, she wants you
Lol 😂
That's very beautifully stated.
It really is wild how different and personal the grieving process is for people. I thought I was going to be a wreck when my grandmother passed away. I was sad and cried some but was holding together better than I expected. Then, a few weeks later, as I was alone and cleaning out her house I pulled out her night stand and a pile of tissues that had fallen behind it kind of tumbled out. I don't know what it was about this little reminder of when my grandmother was alive with a simple act of sitting in her bed and blowing her nose but I just broke down and started sobbing and couldn't stop. I had thought I was over the worst of it after her funeral but it didn't actually hit me and feel real until that moment.
Grief is weird. My friend Jeff has a really good way of describing it, "Grief is like a ball bouncing in a box and inside that box is a button that causes distress when it's hit. At first the ball is really big so it presses the button almost constantly. Over time the ball shrinks so it doesn't hit the button as much. Sometimes though it can hit that button out of nowhere and it feels just as raw as when that button was being pressed all the time."
Recently my cat died and when we found her rigor mortis has set in and the experience was very enlightening. Holding my cat before you can feel all the idiosyncrasies of life skin moving, lungs breathing, muscles flexing. Holding the corpse it was very stiff, all those little processes had become still. It kind of felt like an overly hard cushion is the best comparison I can find. There was a noticeable difference between alive and not the body I had found was very much in away not my cat even if it was her body. We buried her under a tree sapling in the backyard wrapped in a towel for a shroud.
Something to note for people outside the death industry is we are very disconnected from what goes into laying a person or pet to rest and I really do feel that being part of that process did a lot to help me move on.
Just my thoughts on what will hopefully be my closest experience with the difference of alive and not.
We get too comfortable with pretending that death is not a part of the whole game, but it is. Having someone talking about it in a respectful manner whilst not making it a kind of taboo is really important! I really enjoyed this video!
(edit: typos)
Sony XA1 it’s also because people believe and are afraid that it’s the end but it’s really not so all the more reason it shouldn’t be a taboo
🤣czcams.com/video/kcoQsvWTrHY/video.html
@@cyrcara5528 how very interesting! I love everything Africa related ☺️
Check her youtube channel if you haven't already. It's even better. Very informative but still with a touch of humor
Part of the journey is the end.
My grandfather heard that they throw away your hips when you die and he doesn't let anything go to waste so he wants me to ask for his hips and make them into wind chimes. The rest of the family refuses but I will probably try to do it.
you totally should! plus since he approves of it, it would be great to have something so sentimental
You absolutely should!!
Yes since he wants you to do it. All you can do is ask. It will also be something to remember him by. He sounds like he has a great sense of humour too.
Coolest wind-chime 🎐 ever
@@heidibaltom8138 I don't know if its his great sense of humor or his penny pinching ways thats driving the decison but I certainly find it funny. He likes to build and craft so that also has to do with that. I honestly want to do it but the rest of my family says its weird and creepy and they are just gonna assuring he we will do it and then not follow through.
Honestly I love Caitlin's voice. It's so soothing. I would definitely be comforted if I went through the death of a loved one
I love Caitlin’s channel, Ask a mortician. It’s like death education. I feel like we should all become more comfortable and familiar with death, which is the one thing that is certain in this life.
I found Caitlin before I found Dr Mike. Her novel "The smoke gets in your eyes" was an enlightening read and actually helped me get through my anatomy unit at university where we worked with human cadavers. I learned to be less afraid and see it as a part of the journey in life and I worked in a respectful, confident manner on my cadavers which were so kindly donated by the living before the end.
Also, YES to the formaldehyde smell I can recall that scent perfectly.
wowczcams.com/video/zFJ2AN_CZH8J/video.html
Her books have truly changed my life, I reread them all the time
People, don't click on that link, it's spam.
Mirjan Bouma what does it lead you to?
OMG I can’t believe, best collab EVER
HDSJHSH IKR
I KNOW! I'm totally fan-girling over her😱
czcams.com/video/kcoQsvWTrHY/video.html
@@arianedennison2395 Same here, omg fangirling! I can't believe he collabed with Aak a Mortician! Loved it!
I’m squealing 😆😆😆
My cousin died and lived alone. They thought he was dead "at least 10 days". We then found out that we had to have him put into this bag since he had turned basically into water. We had a closed casket. The only reason he was found was due to the smell coming from his apartment. It makes you realize that you really need to keep in touch with someone, anyone and if you don't hear from them for a couple of days give them a call, keep in touch. How long is it in reality a body does basically turn to jelly.
Dear god, that's horrific.
Caitlin is simply amazing. She is so tactful and respectful, even though sometimes her videos might seem macabre. But when she refers to Mike’s mom passing, it’s not awkward “I’m so sorry” a lot of us tend to say, it seems that she know what to say to make him feel better.
She's sooo excited when she talks about dead bodies ,which is sooo cool.
Juli Art dead* bodies,* but it is exciting and cool
KAKAKAKAKAKAK this is wonderful! PRANK! It is terrible! I looked in the mirror and saw something UNPRETTY: my face. KAKAKAKAKAKA! But I am happy agayn because I have TWO HOT GIRLFRIENDS and I use them to get views on my videos! KAKAKAKAK!!! Good day, dear jul
😂🤣🤣czcams.com/video/kcoQsvWTrHY/video.html
@@Cassxowary thank you for correcting me.
I'm a Hospice nurse, and a patient told me something years ago that was so meaningful. He was asked about what he would like to be done with his body after his death, and he laughed and said "Once the nut is gone, it doesn't matter what you do with the shell." He was 94, and one of the best men I've ever been priveledged to know.
My mom was the same. She said to just put her in the cheapest box we could find. We ended up cremating her and burying her with her stillborn baby.
BTW, you guys have a very difficult job. My mom had hospice nurses for the last month of her life. They were so great and so caring. They appreciated we tried to still have fun with her while we had her, teasing each other and joking around. We appreciated that they were there to help us take care of her and took care of us mentally just as well as they took care of her. So supportive.
Mad respect for your field. Such an emotionally draining profession but you make a huge difference to the surviving love ones ❤️
I want a playlist with just Mike and Caitlin discussing about their respective jobs. They are soooo interesting and fun to watch :D
On the day my Mother died, she did just look like she was sleeping, but 5 days later I viewed her body in the chapel of rest, and completely disconnected with it. I remember saying out loud 'you're not in there' and I didn't want to get close to her body at all, because it just wasn't her anymore. It was upsetting, but it did help me separate her soul from her body. You've both described it down to a tee in terms of my experience!
Love Caitlin, I would let her handle my brain. I mean, when I'm done with it, of course.
OPEN UP
NO WAIT IM STILL USING THAT CAITLIN NO-
Caitlyn is better than that chick in mortuary
@Ahmet Özer ah yes, the Instagram Look™. ;)
Dr. Mike checking out Caitlin after saying the brain is her favorite part of the body, like 😲😏😍😎
PLEASE NOT HIM LIKING IT 🖐🏽🤠
@@cath7782 he apparently *did* like it.
LMAO HE LIKED IT
Yes! I've been scrolling for this very comment for 100 years meow. Thank youuuu.😁🔥❤
It may be time for Dr. Mike to ditch the “beauty queens” and find a mortician. I’d ship that.
I'm in my late 20s and I only learned about Caitlin's work last year on a YT rabbit hole adventure. Having experienced a life-altering medical crisis when I was 19 was difficult but the more I learn from her videos and books the more at peace I am with living the life I have. Seeing these two talk was fun.
I've been a fan of Caitlin and her channel for years and Six feet Under was such a great series.
She's exactly what I'd imagine a mortician looking like.
Edit: Wow thanks for the likes!
She reminds me of the goth chick in NCIS
Check out her channel and you can see her house with all her knickknacks. Exactly what you'd imagine a morticians house would look like.
H
wowczcams.com/video/zFJ2AN_CZH8J/video.html
She even has a fake skull and a taxidermy ferret
Morticia
Dr Mike referring to a corpse as a "patient" when talking to Caitlin is the most out-of-depth thing ever, & I love it.
Ikr lol it's so endearing
The only advice I ever give to a friend or family member who has lost a loved one is to slow down. The way we speed through the entire process from the last breath through the burial or cremation doesn't give people enough time to deal with their emotions. I'm not sure exactly what it's like in other areas, but in Tennessee and most Southern states, the bereaved are expected to play host and comforter to guests and other people who come to pay their respects. We typically go to the funeral home on the same day or the next after someone dies. We hurriedly make plans while still reeling from the shock of death. We book a time for visitation and the funeral. It all usually takes place in the matter of a couple of days.
Rushing through my dad's funeral process left us without the chance to just take our time with his body and each other. I can't remember even seeing my brothers. We were all children and we were smothered by grieving adults who were leaning on us for support in their pain instead of the other way around. Now that I've experienced more loss, including my husband, I take things much more slowly and relaxed. The "that's just their shell" mentality has never sat right with me. I know their spirit, soul, life force, or whatever you believe no longer exists, that is still the earthly physical representation of that person. I remember looking at my mother's hands and just memorizing everything about them. Her body grew me, sustained me, and held me and all of the wonderful things mothers do. In the Christian bible, humans are referred to as body and spirit/soul. Just because one is no longer alive doesn't mean their body means nothing to their loved ones. Anyway, that's my long-winded way to suggest that you should slow down, take your time, and, if possible, spend time with their body. It has helped me tremendously. It may not work for you, but offer the opportunity to the others who loved the deceased.
Also, regardless of your age, make a plan for your funeral. Just picking out a casket helps tremendously. ❤
Deathlings absolutely unite! Love when doctors and death workers assist each other in their understandings.
I find it hilarious how she actually looks like somebody who would be a mortician lol. I just think it’s funny when somebody matches their stereotypes so well
there's a running gag where most people she interacts with are badass women with bangs. Seen in a few videos especially the one where she's showing ask a mortician video planning meetings in a vlog lol.
But still to me she's actually broadened my mind on how i imagined morticians would be like. I would reccomend many storytelling videos of hers to get a sense of how respectful, educational and charming she is.
I mean I disagree I don’t think she looks like what I thought of for stereotypical morticians. I’ve never actually thought about it but dark brown wavy hair comes to mind instead of black straight for some reason.
Caitlin fully embraces the dark goth aesthetic, and we love her for it!
I can only hope to find my mortician Betty Page someday.
Lol she’s looked like that pretty much all her life. When you love learning about death, it happens lol
"There's a lot of death in the middle ages"
Me: ♫ The MidDdLe aGeS wEre MaaaaGiiCcc ♫
And it’s funny too because if you did any tricks or magic in the Middle Ages, you would be executed
Bentham's head!🎵!!🎶!!
Omg I love her cx havent been so active n yt recently but seeing this….I have to catch on her stuff cx
Actually, i found out that everyone who've lived in middle ages they all have died. Everyone. A lot of death.
Lol nice one 😆
When you guys where talking about humans looking at a corpse I really realized that horses and humans aren't all that difference. When a horse dies the hardest part is leaving the horses body in the past for as long as necessary for the herd to say goodbye.
I love how this kind of became an impromptu therapy session for Dr. Mike 😭❤❤❤
Mortician: I don't know how many corpses you see
Doctor Mike: ...
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Dr. Mike I don’t really see corpses and my job to make sure bodies don’t become corpses.
Blue Tube shut up
“I want you to give me my terminal diagnosis when the time comes.”
Same here sis, same here.
And to offer comfort..
My mother died on New Year’s Day 2019. We really never knew when she died she was in a nursing home. We had prearranged her funeral and after the shock the funeral home showed us (my sister and I) her body. They had put her in satin pajamas that she never would have splurged for in her life. It was a wonderful gift to see her in peace and in satin pajamas.
I’ve been to 6 funerals in the last couple years and each time I’ve been in so much pain emotionally because they aren’t the same and you’ll never get to hear them again. They’re like a complete different person
I lost both my grandpas, my great aunt, my cousin, and my other cousins husband
When my husband died, I was allowed to see him almost straight away, and he looked exactly the same, just paler. It looked like he was sleeping, and I swear it even looked to me like he was breathing. He was room temperature, not cold, but not his usual warmth.
The next day he looked exactly the same, but he was extremely cold. They had moved him to a refrigerated part of the hospital. I was surprised he didn't look any different from the day before. I expected something to be different.
After that I wasn't allowed to see him again and he was cremated after a week. I'm glad I got to spend some time with his body. If he had died of covid, I wouldn't have had the luxury.
He wasn't the first person I saw dead (his mom had passed seven years earlier) but my entire life had been planned around his continued existence and I'm not done dealing with his abrupt removal from the rest of my life.
He enjoyed both of you guys' channels. I remember seeing him watch this video back when it first came out and I'm glad I finally got around to watching it too.
my deepest sympathy to your broken heart. i can not imagine! 💐
@@treebles Thank you so much :)
Hope youre doing well mate
@@meh8396 Thanks! I'd stay under the circumstances, I'm doing as well as could be expected. Thank you!
❤️
The mortician who took care of my friend's body after she was murdered was a true artist. She was ripped from us and he allowed everyone who loved her in life to say goodbye to her in death. Forever grateful for that gift he gave us.
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@@haicoai6269 stop wtf is the point of that video
@@krspykreme5951 spam to get people to watch. just report him
@@pootoobaby738 ye i just did, not the first time that video has been linked in a comment aswell smh
@@krspykreme5951 What video was that
i sat with my husband of almost forty years when he died of a heart attack at 57. i 'talked' to him. begged him not to go, to not leave me, and so much more. the most difficult thing for me, besides the loss, was that he was still warm . i had promised him i would not leave his side, but the cops/paramedics dragged me away to another room. i kept asking everyone, 'are you sure?" 'are you SURE he's dead?'' etc. he had been dead for hours, but he was very overweight, that's what they told me was why he was still warm. all funerals i had ever been to, the bodies were cold, so cold to touch. now of course, i realize they were embalmed, and well refrigerated too. i witnessed his cremation, not embalmed at his request. they couldnt find a coffin large enough to hold him. but they certainly charged me for one, even tho he was just on a plywood board, covered with a sheet. he was bleeding from his nose through the sheet, and that has always bothered me. i didnt think you could bleed, lying on your back, dead for a day. 'are they sure?" nightmare stuff!!
The part about seeing a dead relative being helpful in dealing with it; I absolutely agree.
My mom was in a lot of mental and physical pain at the end of her life. She died suddenly (heartattack) and i never got any clear information about the fact that she actually was dead before i saw her dead body in the ER.
Traumatic? Absolutely, one of the worst days of my life (and ive had a lot of those coming from a dificult family situation with a psycopathic and abusive dad) hands down.
Being able to sit there and hold her hand, say goodbye and just feel relief that she wasnt in pain anymore... might sound wierd but it made me happy for her. Do i still miss her after 4 years of sorrow? Every single day. But at least i know she will never be in pain anymore. And i think the time after the fact, being able to see, touch and say goodbye to her body really helped me in understanding what happened.
I agree. Two of my deepest regrets are not being able to say goodbye to my grandfather and not getting to say goodbye to my sister. For grandpa we didn't have a funeral per se because it was the beginning of Covid and everyone was quarantined; he was cremated then as much of the family who could, I had to threaten to quit my job so I could fly out, got together a month or so later on his birthday to talk about him. For my sister, she had gone into hospice and only dad knew because she didn't want everyone to make a fuss over her. I found out a few hours after she passed that she was gone. When I told work they refused to let me take time off for her funeral, threatened to fire me if I did anything more than take that night's shift off, so I stayed here. Her husband has her ashes and none of us really know what he did with them. Dad just a few months ago got her marker finished.
I like her so much. I love how real and authentic she is.
Same! I absolutely love her!!! She’s a lovely person... And her channel is amazing.
If you liked this you’ll love her channel! Her vids are super informative without seeming macabre or icky.
Her channel is amazing
“I think a dead body should look dead." PLEASE BE MY MORTICIAN, oh my gosh I have thought this for years and really hope my wishes will be respected when my time comes.
I actually attended a wake for a girl who went to my high school - killed in a car crash in her senior year, a real tragedy - and when I got up to the casket, they had put so much makeup on that she didn’t really look any different from when she was alive. It looked like a lie, and I swore to myself I would not end up like that - death is death, I understand covering up any wounds or gore but let me be pale, geez. 💀
Definitely go to her channel then and watch her videos about different ways you can have your body handled postmortem! Sounds like you want a natural burial, like me. :)
@@Saknika not only that, but she also has plenty of videos on how to make sure your wishes are fulfilled when the time comes. Her channel is amazing, check it out.
@@michelleterra She sure does. I've watched all of them at this point. :) And yet I am still a terribly negligent deathling who has not made her advanced directive yet. LOL
I went to a funeral for a friend in high school as well. Unfortunately she overdosed. I hated seeing her in that box. She looked like she could be alive aesthetically, but all of the life was gone. She was such a vibrant soul in life. So the lack of her personality and the juxtaposition of the perfect face was so jarring to me
I understand it can help for some to view the body but I dont ever want to go to an open casket funeral again. And mine will not be either, keep the pretty boxes, chemicals, and make up away. I just want to decompose naturally and return to nature
I agree with everyone. Definately watch her channel. She has great advice on how to get what you want when you die and things like that. I know someone who went to a funeral in the woods (its a certain area people are alowed to be buried a bit like a crematorium or burial sites just in the woods) they had a cardboard coffin and everyone wrote a message on it in coloured markers. People brought their dogs along and everyone was in wellies. She said it was lovely. Also nothing was done to the body. Sorry for the tangent it juat sounds like you wanted something natural. But watch her channel its great
During funerals whenever I see the body i dont recognize the person im close to and it helps me realize they are truly gone. I always feel uncomfortable because i dont cry but feel pressure in having the same reaction everyone else is. It gave me some relief when she said to not worry about what i should be feeling and just grieve in my own way. For me funerals are time for me to look back on and be grateful about the time i got to spend with that person. Sometimes people see my lack of reaction as a lack of caring and it really affected how I felt when at funerals
You and Caitlin need to do another segment...this is probably one of the most interesting colabs ever done. I learn a lot from you both. I know neither of you will see this but I just wanted to say that you both are amazing teachers and help us that have not been in school to understand how things work, how they can happen, and what you, as a person, can do. So, thank you to you both.
Them: "Infinity war is the most ambitious Crossover event in history"
Me, a person of culture: *shows this video*
Omg yes!
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I strangely love that the titanium hips are recycled and not simply thrown out.
Titanium is very expensive.
@@icouldjustscream yeah so it's important it's recycled
I love this. Having lost family members and being a Health care professional it is very interesting to get these two perspectives.
6:27 "Sounds a' happenin", that was the most New York I've ever hear Dr. Mike speak
Yet he’s Russian, he sounds so American it’s crazy!
Dr. Mike: Your test results are in, are you available for a 7am appointment?
Me: oof
Out Of Facility?
@@kyndramb7050 it sorta just means 'ouch'
Yeah... it's usually never a good sign when results are in, they're unreleased in your EMR, and the doctor wants to have a chat in person to "go over the results." But it did go well once lol
Dr. Mike: “tElL mE aBoUt ThE sCrEwS”
Me: “Please DONT tell me about the screws”
Oml I read that comment and then he said that
"Just like swirly buttplugs" hahahahahahah
@@NuttyVladdyTTV best line of the whole video! lmao
I love watching Caitlin!! She teaches us about how people Who’ve died, would be profited from or used in a show off like eye
@@hollymchale440 I know right?!?!
"The seed of their intellect." That's a beautiful way to put it.
I watched "Six Feet Under" from the very beginning. The opening scenes introduced a view of the different ways we all end up on the embalmer's table & provide a small glimpse of the industry. BTW, this was the first look at the future "Dexter Morgan". I miss both of those programs, both were ground-breaking.
I agree when she said "dead should look dead" when my grandpa died they put so much makeup on him that he looks like a different person they wanted to make him look like he was alive but they just made him to a different person.
I don't care if he wouldn't look good I want him to look like my grandpa I want to remember my grandpa, not the 4 pounds of makeup that's on his face
She speaks a lot about more natural burials in her videos and because of everything I learned from her CZcams channel I now know I don't want to be embalmed and slathered with makeup when my time comes. It feels so unnatural to me and I don't want a viewing with open casket because if I hate being the center of attention in life, I certainly don't want to be in death. Natural burial all the way for me.
@@XSemperIdem5 My maternal grandmother did not want a funeral at all. She said she wanted to be cremated because she didn't want all those people staring at her. She wanted us to have a celebration of her life. I went home early because of a migraine, as I recall, but I know it ended up with some karaoke. My grandmother would have been pleased, I think. :)
Yep. If they're dead they're dead, don't try to make them look "alive" by slapping some makeup on them. Just let them look dead for Pete's sake
@@SmogValley she has a video about posing the dead including pets. They should look dead, but you can close the mouth and eyes and place them in a less concerning position. But ppl also embalm their pets which makes them look weird.
No point looking your best when no one is going to visit you underground.
We lost my beautiful grandma last year, she was my best friend -- my everything. She cut my cord when I was born and I was adamant I was going to be with her as she left this world. For 7 long days and nights I sat by her (only leaving her to go to the toilet or to shower), waiting for her to go. It was traumatic to see someone I loved go but I would do it again and again to know she wasn't alone (and she's no longer in pain). What Caitlin said about the body seeming like a shell was my reaction after she had passed. That lady who had now stopped breathing, and her heart stopped pumping was not my grandma anymore, she was a body. Her laugh, her smile, her voice were now figments only in my memories. I felt so guilty at the time that I felt so disconnected to her body but now, a year later I understand that it was my coping mechanism and in the long run helped me be at peace and grieve. Thank you for validating my feelings with that response -- I often wondered if something was wrong with me to feel that way...
Em I absolutely agree. I felt so many different emotions from sadness to relief. It’s so individual! I went and subscribed to Caitlin immediately after the video. As a halloween baby I’ve always had a fascination with mortician work (though don’t think it’s something I could do). I think I’m more interested in preventing death than being around it.
This was truly the video I didn’t know I needed. ☺️
I too lost my grandma recently and felt the same emotions as you . I thought something was really wrong with me . I was feeling really guilty about . Its comforting to know thatI'm not alone and your in peace with yourself.
That makes perfect sense to me. I've lost both my moms and my dad in the last 10 years and of course I cried when they were gone. But my reaction to everything as far as seeing them gone I was actually quite calm because I said that's not them that's just a shell and they are already gone. My family always thinks I act strange why do that but just just the way I cope with it and say they're already gone that this is just a shell or prop
Wow
Agreed, I watched my mom pass and I was shocked at how quickly it didnt look like her anymore, like an empty shell. I couldn't look at her face once it went gray because it just wasnt her anymore
Two of my favourite creators in one collaboration...Love ya both, and all that you do for your respective patient/clients. The world needs more of you x
Being a deathling, I watched this video before. But re-watching it after my mom died, I can relate to interacting with the corpse of a loved one and feeling somewhat detached.
You know corpses held in funeral homes will be cold to the touch. But I was honestly a little taken aback by how solid frozen she felt. That's all I could focus on as I held her hand and kissed her forehead.
“From here to Eternity” by Caitlin Doughty is a really good book about how different cultures around the world celebrate and mourn death.
I thoroughly enjoyed that one, it was a real eye opener to me for what different cultures do, the one particularly about the family's who keep the dead at home for months even years, until they can afford a proper funeral for them was a real eye opener for me.
I'd recommend "Will my cat eat my eyeballs?" By her too. It's such a fun read. If you're into audiobooks, I highly recommend the audio version, she does it (I think she does the audio for all of her books).
Anyway I think it's a nice book to recommend for people who are interested in Caitlin and watch doctor Mike
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Suchhhh a good read!
That was a fantastic book
As soon as I saw “mortician” in the title and thought “I hope it’s Caitlin!” And it was!
I love everyone from undertaking LA, one of the other morticians was on the trixie and katya show and she was great too
@@ConstantChaos1 lol I just found our name is Constance
This episode totally turned me onto Caitlin's channel! Thank you so much for doing this collab!
Her point about how the body is different from the person and it can be a form of closure is so on point. My dad and my granddad both died last year. I saw my dad twice after he died, both on the day (he passed at home) and later on at the viewing, while with my granddad passed in the hospital and he didn’t want a viewing so I never saw him afterward. With my dad, it was so real and undeniable but with my granddad, it was almost like my brain didn’t acknowledge that it happened. Now it’s obviously different for everyone but personally I think seeing them after the pass is so important.
I didn’t know I wanted you guys to collab
But this is the best thing ever
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Same! I am so here for this.
I know! I needed this!
Right!?!? I'm just laying here, catching up on Caitlin and BAM Doctor Mike shows up... I was so excited!!!!!
@@kaykay7322 haha, I know! I don't even know who I was catching up on, it was just there! Both!
When my mother died, she was in a rehab facility recovering from many heart issues, and I was asked if I wanted to go "see her" and I actually declined. I didn't want her laying there in the bed after lots of CPR to be my final memory of her. I had seen her recently when we visited and we sat outside and she was smiling and enjoying the sunlight, and THAT is my final memory of her. I don't regret it for a second...
Im glad you made the right choice for yourself, and im very glad that you dont regret it
Idk im just glad for you making the right choice and not feeling like you had to because 'its the thing to do' or whatever
My family and I went through something similar when my grandma was in hospice care. My cousin was scared to leave because she wanted to be there when my grandma passed away, but my aunt told her it may not be a good idea because then thats their last memory of our grandma.
I haven’t lost any of my family members yet, they’re all pretty young, younger then 80 I believe.
I feel this so much! Its why I am against open casket funerals and why I almost didn't go to my Grandmother's service. I didn't want to see her waxy lifeless body as my last memory of her. I wanted to remember the Grandma that wouldn't take no for an answer if she tried to feed you or give you money, the one whose eyes lit up like a child when I frosted an elephant onto her birthday cake.
I felt the same about my beloved grandmother, who I'd seen recently and visited often before she passed. I'd seen dead bodies of loved ones before, and they honestly horrify me because they no longer look like the person. I didn't want to see her dead body as my last memory of her, when I'd made sure to make lots of memories with her while she was living.
This is a great collab. I've seen Caitlin in my CZcams recommendations, but have never before clicked on one of her videos. I will now.
love her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 6FU was an absolute gem of a series!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE COLLAB I DIDN'T KNOW I NEEDED
My father died 1.5 months ago now, and having watched Caitlin's videos and read her books, it ended up being such a comfort to me and helped me much more comfortable with his death and with his body. I think it is so much better to embrace and understand the process, and not let it be so "distant" and unfamiliar like we are not accustomed to in the USA.
Am I the only one that sang "the middle ages were magic!" When she said she studied medieval history?
Nope! You are not alone, I did it too!
Haha me too!
Me three!
Yup def did too
that song bite is the 💣!!
Two of my favorite CZcams stars together in one video! I love how professional and how humane you both are and your wit, intelligence and compassion shines through.
Thank you for doing a video with Caitlin. I love her content and have followed her channel for a long time.