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Letting Go: Toxic Friendships
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- čas přidán 4. 09. 2017
- Original Article: www.psych2go.n...
Script: Melissa Rorech
Voice Over: Claudia B.
Animation: Joleen Oltmanns
Feedback Editor: Risha Maes
Project Manager: Erin Bogo
Producer: Psych2Go
More Psych2Go here: / psych2go
Website: psych2go.net
Twitter: / psych2go
Facebook: / psych2go
Tumblr: psych2go.me
Everyone here needs a hug now.. °^°
*HUGS*
Thanks ❤❤❤🙈
Thank you
Thank you =‘3
Thank you!
Thank you. I feel so broken. 💕
I’ve decided that I can’t stay with my best friend. I feel like I’m walking on thin ice when I’m around her, I stay up at night thinking about what I said around her.
Yeah I know what you mean :(
But now I feel so very alone and came to realize that I became distrustful with people at all.
I come to the point where I feel like I will never find a new, a true friend ;(
@@Jasonslittlesister1 will you br my friend? Let's be friends dear. I'll be there to listen to your every flaws
try telling her how you feel first
Same
SAMEEE
Can’t have toxic relationships if you don’t have friends.
Name not found That's better but still bad...
mood
Alice Puccio yup it's lonely
@@cobracommander8133 Same
Mood😭😭😭
Thank you so much for this. My best friends have been constantly ruining my mental health and excluding me and then gaslighting me making it my fault. I just can’t find anymore friends. That’s why I can’t let go.
@@maidaosmanabdiqadir26 it’s hard, maybe try confronting them about it and ghost them 4 a while so they’ll stop.
Same I've had a only friend in my life who was pretty much toxic and selfish, I was thinking about getting rid of him many times and still trying, he is my only friend and I'm afraid I'm going to stay alone for another 11 years, still trying
@@yahya-zr1yw maybe try finding someone else to be your friend and then try talking to the toxic one abt it and say that ur friendship won’t work out n stuff. You’ll still have another friend in the end. I know it’s hard, but it’s still worth trying.
its better to be alone and avoid them and depending on what year/grade your in if its your last then its great timing to stop it now and then move to your college or new school for a fresh start
@@toasty4890 it just hurts even more when you avoid them bc then you miss them and keep going back
Could of used this advice in elementary school
Spider Pig I know right? Where was this? Should have came on immediately after Bill Nye 😂
Spider Pig it's could have!
Spider Pig HAHA same
facts
Same, 1st grade
PSA: I was in an abusive friendship for years. She was a piece of shit narcissist that sucked the life out of me and heightened my want to commit suicide. When I broke off my relationship with her, she tried to turn my friends against me and make me look bad. Then she wanted me back. NEVER TAKE BACK NARCISSIST PEOPLE. THEY WILL NOT CHANGE.
Krista Miller wow you just made me realize that I might be the narcissist one :(
Krista Miller
I would take my narcissist friend back.
He treated me better than anyone else did.
Krista Miller my best friend went though that ;-; im so sorry
Krista Miller omg this happens to me pls give me some advice my shitty so called friend said im fat smelly and fatty when i cosplay during con. She wont let me go ugh I can't stand people that always self praise themselves and call themselves "mature" when she cried about simple things her parents can't afford to fulfill her desire. I can't stand her anymore im overweight and when people making fun about my weight is painful I can't stand it. She's a narcissistic bitch she thinks all guys in this world will fall for her?? She even judge someone with color or dating different races. Let me tell you she is fucking tan. We're asian and she's that type of person that glorify obsessed with white man or any attractive guy like kpop idol.
Krista Miller holy shit, I have a "friend" who is and has done the same shit, for some reason we are still "friends"
Letting go of toxic people makes you realise something- You have been neglecting YOU.
And you should never let go of yourself again❤
Absolutely , love yourself first because in the end you only have yourself
Agree
Honestly the reason i stayed in a toxic friendship for so long was because it would be more drama to end the friendship than the drama experienced in the friendship itself
Exactly
@chloe dawn...
I let go of such people in my life.
There were a series of events that happened months prior that I sensed it was the beginning of the end.
I blocked them everywhere, but for the last year they 've kept up messaging my father 7 days a week at the oddest times. (i.e. 4 AM) To try and get me back.
When I was friends with these people, they would message me at the weirdest times (i.e. 4 AM) and expect me to get back right away. They never respected my wishes... ever. And harrassed me when I tried to say what I wanted. Always.
I can kinda relate because, they caused too much drama that I couldn't deal with.
I cut them off in my life because it was just getting too stressful being around them. And they still aren't giving up getting me back. (And it's been over 12 months since I cut them all off)
When do you think it will go away, them trying to get me back?
@@djdomineer55 this is exactly what I’m afraid of to be honest. I hope they leave you alone and I hope you can find peace without them. Good luck, my friend.
@@djdomineer55 i have a toxic friend and she was really nice the first year of friendship but now she is so manipulative makes me feel sorry for everything.we were in different classes for sometime and i would walk around with my benchmates they were rlly nice(still are) she says u r just mine don't talk to them. I say they are also my friends and they will feel bad but she makes herself look sad heartbroken and blames me for everything she sort of controls me . Now she and i are in same classes. I still talk to my friends from other class and they don't mind me being friends with her but she reminds me time to time to not be friends to them and she says if u don't like me and like them then just say it to my face u are guilty and so on. It makes me feel bad and I don't have any choice other than say sry cause I don't want any scene. And i hakve to let her control me. I am tired of all of this. Now after few months i am changing school and looks like she will also come with me wherever i go. And i don't know how to cut her off my life. I am just sooooo tired of it. Pls help me get out of this without me looking bad.
@@parijat4888 just shut her down, tell her everything to her face and leave her , u don’t need to suffer for her
I'm the person who never leaves the station.
Jelsa Exmachina stop
Jan Šimáček I not doing anything...
Lol that is not true in any realm of your life u are either in the train or tied on the tracks
I’m a fighter jet. Fight me.
jelsaaa xddd
I just put down a toxic friendship, but I felt I did it to harsh. She cried, but this person really was just mean so I looked at this video and it helped a lot thank you!
Side Flower If they were truly toxic it doesn't matter of they cried because they will on to the next person within a month
same here but the next day she disregarded everything I said the day before and asked if we could be friends again she didn't even respect my feelings and was one one the reasons a I had small points of low self-confidence and self-loathing
Side Flower I’m preparing to let go of a a friend who isn’t as toxic but has slowly been getting worse, one of my other friends agreed, two of my friends (one more than the other) is so kind and hates when people are mad at her and this girl takes advantage of that and I know she will cling to her. any advice??
They always cry. Some even threathen to kill themselves. Just so they can keep sucking on your blood.
Maybe you weren't too harsh at all, but they wanted it to seem like it.
i just left my toxic friends last night. i apologized to them even though it's not my fault. the thing is, i hope everything will be well and i am already distancing myself from toxicity. i am now starting to show a huge care to myself after sacrificing a lot just to save our friendship and their happiness.
yass queen
This is really hard for me, because all my “friends” don’t even care about me, but I care about them. How do I let go?
I would say, try to build more selflove, when you are more confident in who you are and who you want to be, you feel strong enough to leave toxic people and find new people
SNIP THEM OFF
And life is too short to be dealing with toxic people! It causes alot of mental stress and can get worst! Love yourself first.
Same situation here
Keep your heads up God bless us all 🙏❤️
they were bored that's why they "board" our trains, and once they're bored of us they leave...
( -_-)
LūÇāR¡ūs Σ actually gr8 metaphor :c
burden. yep mate. it's just painful to be that way ;-;
LūÇāR¡ūs Σ I f e e l.
burden. yeah. like in the video, letting go will make us realize things also free us from our fear of being alone and save us from people who benefit us.
LūÇāR¡ūs Σ truth. my toxic friend makes me believe they are beneficial though. rip me, always end up giving in bc/ they make good points.
I don't understand how someone can give so much and people have no guilt in returning it back. Maybe this is just me but I always try to show appreciation for people close to me because I'm just happy that they want to be around someone like me. I give people gifts with my own money, take them with me on trips, and willingly go the distance for them so we can hang out. I do all this stuff to show love to my "friends" and somehow when I need them to do the same because I can't at the moment, they back out and say they can't. I never really noticed this until someone pointed it out to me saying "Why do you buy stuff for them? I haven't seen you get anything in return." I've always felt guilty when I made them upset and I do everything to try to make things right. These people just keep asking for more and more and I'm in shock that they don't see how much I've already given. *Never in my life would I think I'd be so jealous of the girls that get balloons and gifts from their friends during the holidays because I knew that would never happen to me*
Citlali Najera They just take you for granted. Don't expect anything from them because the more you give something to them, the more and more they demand you. Don't even expect an apology from them either. They know you need them so they'll likely use you when you came back to them.
Citlali Najera Some people aren't as emotional and sensitive as you are. It's easy to make yourself seem nice, not for me.
Citlali Najera been there done that. I felt exactly the same as you. Always the gifter and the one who initiates meetups and stuff. Eventually i got tired and start to realise that they never reciprocated. And i too was jealous of other friends who had birthday gifts etc. Finally i cut off those "friends" and i found new real friends. You should too!
Lol Noob. You are just a selfish person... You act like you give stuff to be good with your loved ones, but in the end you are just a selfish fucker thinking about yourself... You do all of this stuff thinking that they owe you love or something... They don´t owe you anything! if you want to give stuff or lend them a hand it doesn´t mean they will do the same for you... It´s ok if you want to be kind, but it´s not good if you are constantly chasing them to love you. It´s like you think that they will be nice with you as long as you are nice with them, but that´s not true. You are constantly looking to be accepted and loved by others because you don´t love yourself! And that´s why you are not free.
Sebastián Avendaño Ahaha nice. These fucking people always trying to play the victim.
Same letting go of toxic friends made me feel so guilty like I'm doing something wrong. Also fear of being alone. But then I finally took that courageous step and left. Found a new group of friends who are so sweet and respected me for who I am and not change me like my old friends. I'm way happier and calmer now with less drama.
But toxic people they know they can manipulate you so, so they came back saying sorry and all. I didn't reply obviously they are just sorry that they lost someone who could used as per their need. Not going to be anybody's doormat anymore.
I lost my best friend. She always left so easily and was fine when we broke up, but every time I came back, crushed and longing for her friendship because she was precious, she never changed. She told me I was angry, and hot headed. But in reality, she pretended to be weak and forced me to believe I was hot headed to feel guilty for confronting or disagreeing with her. Still, the happiness she brought me is something I miss. I told her if she ever wanted to be friends I would in a heartbeat, but she has to be the one to take action this time for once. It's been 5 months and I'm still blocked.
YOU'RE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DON'T NEED NO JASON!
(y)
I'm a man.
😂😂
I'm a man.
@@Tina_rose1 Watch the video bro
Some years ago I had only some toxic friendships.
Now I have no friends. (And no, that is not a joke)
It's fucking hard to make friends when you have anxiety in nearly every situation... :(
Niki Potter I feel your pain. ;^; And I'm depressed and I (so far) only have toxic friendships. I can't tell if people care about me or are just using me. I had this crush on someone and he had a crush on me, but then my toxic friend is dating him an he barely knows her. I felt like I've been backstabbed (again). But then again, I've always been backstabbed by my "friends".
@slovene ball Don't listen to people who are bringing you down. Just ignore them and be who you wanna be
@@rand0mthings wtf leave them
I think what you have to realize is that no one is hurting others on purpose. Yes, they may be harsh, they may bring you down. And it is not good to let these people distract you from who you are. But: you should not think that they hurt you just because they're mean. They have their own stories. And you'll may understand them better if you see things from there perspective. You should not distance yourself from everyone that is hurting you because no one is perfect. What you should do instead is not caring about what they say. And acually understand them, but don't feel responsible for anithing in theyr lifes. And yes, if somebody is too toxic, you should propabliy leave them. But again, you should not distance you from everyone that is hurting you in any way.
@@rand0mthings how old are u?
Its better to be alone then be surrounded by toxic people . Like an eagle that flies alone in thunderstorms ❤️
those people have replaced me, gaslighted me and as soon as i didnt wanna engage with certain behaviours anymore, turn my life around, they found no time for me, and straight up gave me a lower importance level in their life- now ima go talk to one of them and tell her how i feel so i can move on, wish me luck
I mean they could just start hating you so I think you should just move on, not avoiding but just moving on mentally by forgetting and letting everything pass through. I have a similar experience where my friend group was led by a manipulative person. My friends were following him blindly, one of my closest friends there had some problems and I defended him without asking and today when the manipulative friend came onto me and started making shit up about me so he could make fun of me, my closest "friend" did nothing. That's when I realized that nobody did anything for me or defend me for 4 years. Now I am going to study at university so I will find another group of friends and im not that scared. You should just work on yourself and forget those negative thoughts because they just slow you down.
I was a friendship I would consider toxic. I try to get them out of my life but they keep saying to me 'you make me a better person.' It's so frustrating cause they make me a 'worse' person & they make me feel bad. But I've been sticking up for myself and I'm tired of dealing with that stuff :/
Say to them, im good, you're terrible, (say their bad manner/attitude)
I dont need cancer so go away.
That's simple, ive done that to lazy people and it works!
human's are social animals who cater to herd mentality. We absorb the energies of those we're surrounded by. Your "friends" are vampires. You need a circle where there is a proper and meaningful balance of energies.
Beanz my family are vampires, my colleagues(except for one or two person) are vampires, my ex was a first class vampire among first class vampires, and my new crush that I held high hopes for as a ray of hope is now looks like a vampire too:D what should I do? I feel like i need to stay in asylum for the rest of my days or disappear in the bermuda for me to find peace.
Math Sucks same...
SAME
NOO NOO NOO! if some one treats me wrong they are GONE! I am NOT going to waste my time on some one whos no going to put time into ME!
Fat Snorlax I wish I could be like that
Same 🤓
Sounds too aggressive. But it makes sense from a certain point of view.
same lol
OmarC1013 DS
I told my toxic friend that they’re being toxic and I almost cried bc they were a nice person and they changed into such a bad person but I’m kinda proud of my self for letting that friendship go
Just detached myself from a toxic friend. I cried a little, but now that it's over i feel refreshed and cleansed. 😞😌
I couldn't have gotten this at a better time. Ive just been going through a huge fuck up with my friend. Shes constantly negative in my life, she doesn't care if she hurts me. She just doesn't care. Sometimes I wonder if she hates me. She's so toxic in my life and I know that I'm going to have to leave her someday. Probably soon.
BirdMan Man You should 100% leave her if she's having a negative impact on your life, I learnt that the hard way with a girl I thought was my "friend". The split will be messy even if you try to let her down easy but if you keep up the "friendship" it will eat at you. Trust me, you will feel like the largest weight has been lifted off your shoulders when you end it. There's nothing better than being able to be yourself. Good luck :)
Hey dude, have u left her? Do u feel better now that she's not with u?
I have a one too. I should fucking leave her
Omg sameeeee if you see this please like idk if you will but yeah
@@user-yj5jd9rf6x i know it’s random, but did you leave her?
My toxic friend wont let me let her go ;;--;;
Grace's Studio You can do it.
Brandyn Lovett wow, i didnt suspect any support, thank you
Grace's Studio let go rose
Listen, block her number, avoid her at school, don't talk to her, don't talk *About* her, don't think about her, and DO NOT listen to her AT ALL IN ANY CIRCUMSTANCE. Those piece of shit narcissists will lie to you about changing and they'll suck you back in and torture you.
Grace's Studio just punch her. 😂😂😂😂😂😂
It feels really bad when it's actually the toxic one that leaves you because they think that you were the problem...........
I've been postponing letting go of my only friend group though they are toxic to me for years. They always "forget" to invite me when they're hanging out and always makes me feel bad about myself. I came across this video and all the comments. It made me realize that there are people out there who has the same issues as me, and that it's sometimes better to be alone than to live a life where you're always feeling out of place and a burden with people who doesn't even care. I am finally ready to let go of these people and continue my life alone but indepedent. I have come to realize that the internet can be a great place.
I was recently in a toxic friendship but then I got back in it now back in it they have changed me and the mess with me and fucks me over a lot never caring about me except if it was to make them look good
Same :/
Hichdogefox 829 I'm happy you left that friendship. Good job. Here's a high five ✋️
Hichdogefox 829 Toss them out like shit in a toilet💩🚽believe me I know I had a toxic friend & I still haven't recovered my mom still thinks I'm a douch bag & believe me that on her death bed🛌she'll still think I am she kept my passport with her & wouldn't give me it so I can get treatment 4 my bad ankle that didn't recover she gave me the passport 4 years later after I almost was gonna go behind her back & take it from her by goin' 2the police station👮🏻but still thinks I'm a douch & she always will do u want that if u don't break up with those bastards
Dodi the Tiger Try punctuation plz.
216trixie what's punctuation❓English is not my 1st language
You seem mad
manIMbluex99 hahaha
manIMbluex99 Psych2Go deserves a hug 🤗
It's okay to feel mad.
ᴛᴏᴘ ᴋᴇᴋ
manIMbluex99 were u talking about me❓
I remember when I was a toxic friend, I convinced my self that I was always right. I was really unaware of this most toxic friends I knew got angry, I always cried instead. It was not until I noticed what I was doing My life really changed. I changed how I acted and just became a better person, I made a lot more friends, I am a more happier person in general. Don't ever become friends with a toxic person trying to change them, they can only change themselves. I know that from experience
I just let go of my toxic friends last week. I thought if they were really my friends and like me they would ask me if something is wrong… they didn’t, they ignored and kicked me out of our whatsapp Group.
Some girls of my class saw that I hung out alone these last days and they’ve been better friends in a week than the other ones in 2 Years!
*Guys just let go of toxic people even if it means being alone a while!*
I used to be in a Toxic Friendship and I'm still broken by it, and it's been 3 years.
Edits N’ Stoof i have been friend with a toxic person for almost 6 years and ive really had enough :vvvv...
Sorry to hear that you’re still broken yet I’m glad that you got out of that toxic friendship though. Hope and wish the best for you and thanks for sharing
Same here it has been like two months for me. I'm crying every night. I let her go she broke my heart twice. I was an idiot by trusting her again. I shouldn't have give her a second change😔💔💔 l thought she changed but she ended up doing the same she dumped me, also played with my feelings. it will take time to forget and move on l still miss her. it hurts bad
@@EzequielMartin55vf hey how you doing? i hope you’re alright. im proud of you for getting this far. take care :)
Only criticism I have is that I feel there's too much emotion in your voice - it seems a bit forced. Perhaps tone it down a little bit - otherwise, great advice.
she was describing a toxic relationship with her friend. you think she is just gonna sit there a be a robot when describing it? no, because it hurt her, and it was hard for her to remember what happened..
Thanks for the feedback! We're working on that :)
Sarcastic Brit I really liked the delivery and the emotionality in the delivery seemed perfect to me, especially in helping young people with autism understand the point of the 'lesson'. Perfect and really important vid.
Too much emotion and talking too slowly. It's making it hard to listen to.
Thanks for the feedback guys!
I recently let a toxic “friend” back into my life after he expressed how much he missed me. Biggest mistake ever! I was already apprehensive about letting him back in, but did so because I genuinely cared for him. In less than a week of us reconnecting, he’s back to his toxic ways and draining me of all of my energy. He found a way to blame me for all of our friendship’s problems and ghosted me! SMH! I CANNOT and will NOT allow him to make me feel worthless as a person anymore! I refuse to walk on eggshells around him!! Who TF does he think he is??!!Being ghosted was the best thing he could have ever done for me. The trash took itself out!
I've only had 2 toxic friends so far. I'm still dealing with one of them. She makes me feel sick with stress when I'm at my best. I want to cut her off but she's in my friend group. I don't know what to do.
I just did, your going to be okay, I just got done crying. I feel..relieved. Only real friends will stick by you through your decisions. :) and the ones that think they’re doing right by leaving you will sometimes realize they were wrong and apologize, I don’t regret my decision. And neither should you. You should just go about it in a better way than me lol. I’m so relieved
This is really helpful. Thank you.
Hope so! Feel free to suggest/request topics you would like to see!
what holds us back from success/trying to succeed
Good suggestion! We will work on it! :) Maybe something like 10 things to let go of if you want to be successful?
please do it, i know it will get a lot of views and please subscribe. also if you need an help with your channel in anyway let me know I will work for free
What if I have no friends because I'm different, mildly autistic , my parents don't love me and I have severe anxiety when trying to socialize?
Well idk um but I have severe anxiety when talking to even my close friends and I stutter a lot cause of this and they make fun of me and stuff :/ but you have to know that someone out there cares
I have anxiety as well Pacifilly social anxiety
im antisocial
The chemistry Nerd sounds like me ?
The chemistry Nerd I feel bad for u man
I like how I can relate to the people in the comment section than in real life.
I had my feature film debut and not only did he (my best friend) not come, he didn't even acknowledge it or say anything, not even a "I'm happy for you". I texted him a week later asking if he was happy for me and he said yes (Not knowing what I was even talking about) and I literally had to tell him about it...and he didn't say much and we never got together to talk or anything when I really wanted to celebrate with him.
I cut him off then. I was there for his wedding as his best man, there for his career, and gave up an entire summer for him when he had a break up, given him money, etc. All things he would NEVER do for me. -_- I mean, I kinda knew he wouldn't do THAT much for me (cause honestly he never had...or done ANYTHING for me) but he could have at least acknowledged me and what was happening (which is apparently too much to ask for)...but no. So I had it.
I had confronted this problem several times over the last decade and it always came back to becoming friends again (and it had to be back to friends immediately and trust him 100% for him otherwise I'd never hear the end of his guilting me till I finally fully took him back) and the hurtful situation would inevitably happen again.
I did eventually tell him why I broke away from him by messenger, and I did it in the kindest and most civil way possible with no anger or anything. And...get this...his response showed he wasn't broken up by it or that he took it seriously as he said "Oh, I'm proud of you" and talked about "his being loyal always to me" as if he didn't even read what problems I brought up to him, and I got a wave of "likes" on everything about my stuff then and there (eyes roll, oh sure, NOW you notice and act like this so that to others it looks like you're loyal to me). He didn't even apologize or make any reference that he would change either. Whatever, I didn't friend him back or anything and thought he would get the point. ...he didn't. (He still thinks we're best friends at this time)
So a couple months go by and he commented on one of my social media posts how I am a star in his book and that just made me angry. Yup, THAT did it.
I privately responded to him (Again, not name calling or anything, but a lot more firm and clearly annoyed) that I didn't see how that was possible after everything I had already said to him, after not even being there this whole time I needed him and wanted him to be a part of my life too. I told him that this had nothing to do with my acting career and had everything to do with how important we are to each other, cause clearly I'm not to him, and I straight up told him that I didn't think he took what I said to him seriously and to back off and leave me alone and that all his words are empty to me.
Side note: This whole time I didn't hate him or wish him bad or anything.
Just recently he tried to "apologize" and I told him I wasn't ready to accept it and that I will later but I needed space.
He went BALLISTIC! He said he did nothing wrong (so why did he apologize then?) AND accused me of wanting a romantic relationship with him (WHOA!), AND that being with me meant that that was "neglecting his family" like WTF! XD He said to me too that maybe people were right about me after all in saying I'm in a fantasy world (cause many people didn't believe in my acting career). Low blow, but that's rich coming from him cause at least I'm actually acting in movies that are being shown and getting bigger and bigger and have more friends in my life now who think nothing like the people he's talking about vs him who wants to be a pastor and ministry and is lazy and hasn't done ANYTHING to move forward in his direction for years cause his priorities aren't in order.
He also "justified" his many times cancelling on me and said how I was a selfish immature adolescent, said things that he knew would have used to hit my "insecure nerve" (but he hasn't seen me grow the last few years to know that that doesn't work on me anymore, lol), name called and so on and so forth. I can say with ease and confidence there is NO chance of us being friends after this =)
He totally showed his true colors and did everything to make himself look good. I think finding new friends and working hard for my future opened my eyes to how I wanted to be treated and he couldn't accept that. He wants the me of 10 years ago. I've outgrown him and after what he said yesterday I don't ever want to see or talk to him again.
I HOPE he gets the point now. Either that or he'll think what happened before will happen again: I get guilty and then I do all the apologizing and we become friends again (will full trust on HIM, not me, cause I'm the dumb immature one) and move on the way HE wants to go. Sorry dude, NOT this time. He had 13 years to change...and he's just the same.
I'm moving on and have other films coming up that I'm acting in and several other friends in my life who are supportive and loving who showed me what true friendship is like =) Life is good without this guy. Never again.
My childhood best friend became extremely toxic, so I had to let go of her at the age of 8. She came back to bite me in the butt because we got in the same middle school. Gosh that sucked.
Kelly Harmon What kinda beast is she, jeez... Hope things gpt better for you.
I had the same thing happen. My toxic friend in middle school turned on me with our saying why. Didn’t speak to her since 8th grade. She’s now in my college dorm 🙃 it’s been a wired roller coaster 5 months
Fuck her, advance you are not 8 anymore
My toxic friend was hard to let go, because I was "friends" with her for 7 years. She then cut all contact with me, and then called me creepy, and the only reason she was talking to me, was because the teacher asked her to, as I had no friends
This video is super important for me cause I always seem to end up in really toxic friendships but can never seem to get out of them
My friend makes me feel bad about myself, she’s been doing this for years and I’m tired of putting up with it. Thank you for this video
In almost all of my friendships, they were always toxic in some way. Whether they manipulated me, used me as their "punching bag," or just straight up acting as if I were nothing more than an idiot, it's like they're attracted to me. The sad thing is the majority of these people are ones I consider my "best friends." I have a hard time letting go, as I've never been treated right by ANYONE. My dad abused me and my brother as kids, my mom hides away in her room almost all of the time, so I've never truly felt loved by either of them. In elementary school people called me a "freak" and "psycopath" and even now it still happens, but its not as often. My first "friend" was a girl by the name of Ashlyn and I just thought she was amazing. I'd do anything she said and I took every word she said to me, whether it was a compliment or an insult, to heart. I did that up until the point she moved after fourth grade. In fifth grade I only had my cousin to rely on for the most part and another "friend" who, again, treated me like she could do anything and get away with it. Once getting to middle school, I was the new "punching bag" for new kids, and for people I considered "friends."
It wasn't until recently, and I mean recently, that I realized these "friends" aren't my friends. But my problem is I have a hard time letting go. This is the only thing I've ever known. And the only reason I realized any of this was because of my boyfriend. The way he and his friends act is like actual friends, people you can rely on when you need them, they're your second family.
And the way he treats me is so much different than how I've ever been treated. He's always giving me non-stop compliments, he does practically whatever I want him to do, he's protective and caring, he's so loving and kind. Without him, I would have never realized that I've been in toxic relationships my whole life.
letting go and embracing something new is incredibly hard, even when it's the right choice. I had to learn it the hard way. friends that do not support my vision of a CZcams channel need to go. If I'm looking for support but receive laughter instead, then it is time to go. guys stop clinging to lost causes, you'll waste energy and time. It's time to move on! I'm an extreme introvert but Id rather search for new people then being around the wrong ones.
Your intro audio sounds like someone snorting coke.
Dennis *snorting AIDS
Are you okay?
And Darth Vader
What I'm struggling with is how to deal with having a major falling out with a close friend when you still associate with the same circles. Reconciliation is not really possible, and I really don't want to see this person at all, yet we're bound to bump into each other regularly.
I let go of all of them because birds of a feather flock together
Thank you so much for this video. Im going thru this now and it’s hard because I’ve never really had a whole bunch of friends so if I lose some it hurts extra harder because I feel like I need them, for without them I’ll be friendless and a loner and I’m afraid of that. But what I’ve started to realize is I’d rather have no friends than people who consistently make me feel like shit. Rather if they stress me out, give me anxiety, piss me off, annoy me, make me feel sad or less than, I don’t need that shit in my life nor do I deserve it. I’m a decent human being, I know I’m not a bad person, and I try to be better every day but that doesn’t mean I have to change the foundation of who I am for people who wouldn’t change for me or anyone for that matter. You rather like me, or you don’t. Accept me for me, or keep it pushing. I’m done trying to change myself for other people I need to learn to be confidence in who I am as a person.
I had a toxic friendship from kindergarten till third grade. She wouldn't let me make other friends, and it didn't help that I was already a shy kid before I met her. But for a few years after we stopped being friends, I was extremely shy and acted cold towards others out of instinct and I was afraid I'd make another "friend" who would manipulate me, so I never talked to anyone. It's been five years since we stopped being friends and I still sometimes have trouble opening up to people and making close friends that I can fully trust, which sucks.
That must suck im in the same situation but havent left my friend yet :L
Just when I needed this, Thank you!
Np! Hope it helps!
Some are not toxic but when you open up to someone you create a emotional bond. When you grow up people get mature and more rational. It can be hard to make a barrier between these two in the beginning but once you do it you might find yourself being more happy 👍
I am the toxic friend that was cut from someone elses life...I miss my friend a lot and have dreams about the things I did. Wish her well, she did the right thing
I never had a good friend that I felt comfortable with. And it sucks. I meet people that bring out the worst in me. It hurts because I dealt with this my whole life. People move on and they act like I don't matter or they stick around just to act negative. And then they treat others better.
SoulRevive same, never had a person I could for sure say was my best friend and mean it.
Same
I feel the same thing
I wanna die..
Next lesson: how to hire a hitman.
LOL
@@Psych2go 2 years later and I'm still waiting on a video lol
@@IDK-td5ub 2 years and two weeks and two day still waiting the video
I can be your personal hit man all I ask in return are Oreos Poptarts and Capree Suns and I will kill whoever hurts you.
@@owenicantchangemyemail7448 I have the oreos
If we are trains, then how do others bored our trains? Are their trains shoving themselves through the doors? ARE THEY MORPHING INTO ONE TRAIN?!
Use some common sense.
@@asimofficial7229 I think it's a joke
@@asimofficial7229 Its.....It's a joke -_-
What hurts the most that the person whom we thought to be The best person whom we can confide in everything about our lives Even the gravest of the secrets can ever ditch us like that and turning the toxic friend disturbing your mental health.
Don't let anyone come into your life such that they can destroy your mental health 😌
I've been in a toxic friendship since last year but our friendship has been for 6 years....and tbh I agree with your comment
I understand your frustration
This is my life explained in 7mins 😌
This is my story I know people probably aren’t interested but it feels good to share it
I had a really close friend who seemed like a really nice person, she was my second best friend and in a friendship trio with me and my best friend. Then someone called me a slut and a bunch of people joined in. I didn’t react very well, I got really sad and got depression, but to mask that depression I made myself really angry and said some things I probably shouldn’t have. This friend acted like she was supporting me but then started saying that I was reacting really stupidly, I thought she was just trying to help until one day. She tried to turn my best friend against me by teaming up against me and saying that I was being stupid and toxic, though I never got them involved. After it was all resolved, my best friend apologised but the fake friend never did, I assumed she implied it somehow and I’d just missed it.
Then the fake friend stopped being as close with me and my best friend over time, and started ranting to whoever would listen about how awful I was and how I got away with everything.
This is my story.
I just let go of some toxic friends. It hurts so much but I feel so much better than when I was with them. They don’t deserve me.
Dude. You need to stop with that passive aggressivity and focus a bit more on the actual video
Bruh
Wait what?
bro i’m literally dying at voice
I love this channel and I've been subscribed to it for a very long time. BUT PLEASE make the pace a bit faster. And please change the slow drawings because it distracts me from listening to what you're saying.
atsukinetsu speed it up, lazy
I know I'm late to comment but, I just left a friend I had in my life for 17 years. I helped him through so many of his emotional crises and he never once thanked me. I stayed by his side even though he gaslit me about major times he crossed my boundaries (even tried to kill me with his car during an "episode"), and he never apologized to me for anything. Now I'm 35 and I've cut out two major social circles in 1 year to cut out two toxic people. I must say, I feel like a better person already now that I have no facebook, no baggage, and can count the people I can trust on two hands. Even if someone is in your life for decades, that might just mean you've kept the blinders on for way longer than you need to. Have a great day, and take care of yourself.
Even though I really don’t have friends after letting go of my toxic friendship, I feel so much better. It feels like the weights on my shoulders have been lifted off. And, I’m starting to gain more and more confidence without being insulted or “joked” about each day. I tell you know, it may be hard at first, but once you let go of someone, you feel so much better.
could've used this in middle school
Fun fact:
"You're not afraid of letting go,
You're afraid to accept the fact that they're really gone."
I recently ended a friendship with someone...
We were really close, closer than anyone I’ve been friends with before. He gave me so much and I tried to do the same. (I failed at that).
We did so much together until I needed some space. He freaked out and started a horrible cycle. Each time he’d find an issue with how I was behaving and would often tear apart my character every time. He was always blunt but in hindsight he pulled no punches. Each time I’d come to dread our interactions. I was never good but I tried to keep going. I just never did anything right.
It was a depressive episode on his part that broke us. He said something that just terrified me (something along the lines of I should be expect him to be snappy).
We ended up not messaging for two months. I threw myself into my courses and I tried to avoid doing any guilt tripping or unhealthy clinging. Just when I was starting to properly let go he came back... and I saw how toxic our friendship was. He was emotionally manipulative (indirectly blamed me for his self harm etc).
I was always too scared and then too resentful to communicate my issues. I knew that it was not a healthy dynamic. I thought about fixing it, trying to start again. I didn’t want to lose my friend, someone I had come to care about only to fail at showing it.
I knew that it was easier and nicer to try again but healthier to step back. I never threw my emotions at him like he did to me, but the heartbreak I felt was devastating and unlike anything else I’ve felt. I didn’t tell him all the awful tings I thought about how he acted or treated me, I didn’t even argue with him. I just told him that we weren’t good for each other.
He never forgave me, he never really acknowledged what I said in a way that mattered. Even so, I will always wish him the best. I’m grateful for everything I learnt during my time with him.
I just got through a toxic friendship, literally hours ago. It was the worst friendship of my life. She constantly lied to me and did it unabashedly, and I couldn’t trust her. She was selfish, rude, and incredibly judgmental. She made me feel guilty for everything, and I felt so trapped in that friendship. I wanted to get out but couldn’t, she would guilt trip me and had me sobbing myself to sleep so many times. I felt like I owed her something, and I was the doormat to her shoe. Now I can see how much she had been manipulating me and how awful she was treating me. She never cared about me, and said that to me to my face. I couldn’t get out though, because she was the only best friend I’ve ever had. She was so sweet, AT FIRST. She was so caring, AT FIRST. She was so gentle, AT FIRST. Everything changed though, once I told her parents she was suicidal. I called her for two hours and she talked about killing herself. She talked about letting go. She talked like this was her last day, she started giving away all the money she had and distancing herself from everyone. And her voice... she sounded so defeated and dead. I knew I would regret for the rest of my life if I didn’t tell someone and she killed herself. So I talked to my parents and they called her Mom and explained what happened. It’s been a month since that day, and she never spoke to me once. I just messaged her yesterday apologizing, which now I see I didn’t need to do. Why was I apologizing? I was trying to save her life! I wanted to help her! I sent her a four paragraph message about how I loved her(she was my cousin) and how I missed her and thought she was incredible. You know what she sent back? “:my name:, I’m fine. Our friendship is over. The last month I’ve spent not texting you has made me so much happier. You can make new friends.” Just like that. Our twelve years of knowing each other and three years of friendship were GONE because I was trying to help her. I was trying to help her! I started crying immediately after that message because it hurt so much. I felt like giving up, but then I realized. This was the push I needed to break away from this toxic friendship. I didn’t reply to the message, instead I blocked her on iMessage and all social media’s. I still hurts what she said to me and I’m sure it’ll still keep hurting, but I can see clear as day now how harmful she was to me. If you’re seeing this(you know who you are): Please never do this to anyone again. I will not be your doormat for you to step on. All those times I’ve helped you with homework, grieving, and advice are gone now. This was your choice, I will no longer be manipulated by you. Thank you for ending the friendship, I needed to get away but didn’t know how to do it. I would say I hope you have a good day, but all the late nights I’ve spent talking to you, the sobs I’ve shed for you, the anxiety attacks I’ve had because of you say otherwise. Never treat anyone how you’ve treated me. Have fun with your life!
Literally just yesterday I got rid of all my toxic friendships, that just happened to be my inner circle. I think the thing that was preventing me from letting go was that I had some of my best memories with them, but also some of the worst.
I never had true friends. I've always had toxic fake friends and I find it hard to let go because I'm lonely, and even if I try to let go they like to glue themselves to me.
Im the type who ALWAYS kicks the person off the train, they dont leave on their own. If I realize something I dont like and it compromises who I am then I'm pushing said person away.
This video is very personal. Like, calm down, sis.
I know this feeling all to well, what I’ve learnt is trust no one
I told my friends that I had depression and they didn't seem to care and take it seriously. I still don't know how to get through it.
Same thing happened with me. I continuously told them that I need help, I am dying, help me. But they were busy hanging out, watching movies blablabla. Somehow I saved myself and broke friendship with them. Fake friends are bad but toxic friends are worse.
@Flower 34 did you talk with him about how you feel and what could be done? If you don't tell him what the problem is and what the solution is then he cannot figure out his mistake. Here's what I did. I did tell them that this is the problem and this is the solution and I also gave them the chance to express their solutions. Instead they started blaming it on me and my other friend. I started ignoring them and then still did not stop. After that I broke friendship with them. This is what you can do. Start by talking if that person doesn't care then take your time and try to speak again one last time. But if that person starts to blame you then you can break friendship with that person. It's upto you
@Fury Fury Same
I remember not long ago, sitting with a toxic friend in his little apartment, sharing drinks and talking about music. At one point, he kicked into his dark side and started giving me his analytical opinion of me which felt degrading. This was very common, I would put up with it or it would trigger me into anger as if I was having to defend something about myself. I went through the cycle of thinking “maybe he has a point. Maybe I am rotten in some of these places.” During this particular moment that we were talking and having drinks and talking about music, I felt the following words come to my mouth and I just let them go, straight to his face: “no one talks to me the way you talk to me. Not even family members.” It took him aback and he seemed to feel shocked and ashamed. We still have those moments where he falls into judging me out loud when we hit on a particular topic during our discussion. The funny thing is, it’s never at a point where I am critiquing him. It’s usually at some point where I critique something or someone he holds dear, something or someone who is not directly connected to him. Usually it’s an ideology or political figure.
1:52 okay not kidding, one of my favorite artists just tweeted out "every single person comes into your life for a reason... whether they stay or go"
I just don't have the balls to let go just because I'm afraid I will end up dying alone :c Being an introverted person with only a handful of friends, coming across one of these "Jason" is a punch in the gut.
I have a toxic friend that I’m desperately trying to leave but the problem is every time id try to distance myself, she’d see it and come to me to torture me. There are times I’ve been obvious about what I wanted to do and she would end up near me in school during our recesses and she’d either say things to her friends really loud to make sure I hear it or she’d get really physical. I’m not weak it’s just that I don’t want to have on my school records that I’d gotten into drama. My dreams of going to college help me cope and just bare these situations but I really desperately want to get away from her.
I left 3 toxic friends because they we’re destroying my mental health, as well as all 3 them being manipulative and destructive towards me and even the friends that cared around me
same i lost 5
a friend of mine who was always the nice, quiet girl, hadn’t talked to me for a long time. Today, she texted me out of the blue and my response (which was a polite “no thanks” to a web link/code) made her say some cuss words and mean things. I politely told her not to swear around me and she said too bad. I guess she’s changed (for the worse?) due to some family issues and friend influence... I was sad and cried for a little while. We blocked each other on the texting site in the end.
So, trains take rides on trains?
Tony Gunk you on the right train on the wrong track 😏
When we try to improve ourselves, when we try to evolve, it's always our friends that just claw into our sides and hold us back. Cull them from your life like cancer, pain is only temporary.
Ive been in a toxic friendship for years, I only do them favors and they are just mean, unfair and makes toxic comments, its time to break up these friendships thank you
this is convinent timing for me honestly, thank you
I’ve needed to end a long lasting friendship of 16 years… when you In your 40’s your circle is gone… but it was too much… I was used, abused over and over again… I think it’s better to be alone without any friends than in pain…
Same. I just ended a 15 years of friendship because I was abused verbally and financially. Mf gave me some kind of anxiety and I'm still recovering.
I tried opening up to my friend as nice as i could about how they effected me and i made sure to point out that i understood where they were coming from but they lashed out and started talking about how they didnt know why "my insecurities were their issue." We have been friends for years and its like a coin flip whether or nor they are going to be nice or lash out. I just cant take it anymore and ive given them so many chances and so many confessions about how i feel with no empathy returned i think i should just leave. The problem is that they are so engrained in all of my friendships, school, neighboorhood, and life that i dont know how everyone would react if i suddenly distance myself. They for one would make a whole scene about it and i dont want to lose anyone else.
As I grow older I really realise that with my own personal growth I need to really leave and recognize the people who haven't grown themselves or don't want me to change. I have learned how toxic people can be and letting go, deleting and cutting out people that have made me feel uncomfortable or negative has been a real relief and life changing. It's easy to think that just because you were friends with someone you still need to be - Social media doesn't help this as naturally we would not have a list of over 10 people as friends and would not stay in contact with people after a longer period of non contact. I deleted FB in January after using it pretty much every day for 13 years. I don't miss it at all.
LET IT GO, LET IT GO, I NEVER LIKED PEOPLE ANYWAY
Ok
I've been trying to leave my best friend for a while as I've been feeling unhappy with her lately. I failed, because I can't say no to crocodile tears. After I watched your videos though, I realized she was manipulative, and I'm gonna have a shot at it again. Thanks Psych2go!
thank you for this. i just lost my best friend of 5 years today. she called me toxic, because she couldn't accept that she was the one who was toxic. still getting through it, but God will get me through it all.
i dropped all five of my friends so i can be happy, three days ago!! i’ve never been happier in my life these past three months and now without them, who had no major impact on my life i feeel UNSTOPPABLE
Idk if I want to do the same with my friends they r toxic and would make fun of me over the dumbest shit or if my opinion is different then one of him they just go on his side and start talking smack to me
And there is the good moments with them do idk if I want to do it or no
@@deadfuture7834 if you’re trying to be the best version of you i suggest to drop them it hurts but eventually you won’t even remember that they hurt you because you can show them
I recently cut off some toxic friends.I want a fresh start,but I'm forced to stay put.What else can I do???
You could distract yourself with exercising, or watching movies/shows. Do something productive!
I got rid of him, finally, thought i needed him but I realised I didn’t need him a long time ago and I finally did it. It’s gonna be hard to let go but it’s worth it, he never cared about me or my feelings even when I cared for him so much. Pretty sure it was a karmic relationship.
I had a toxic friend for five years.
First he'd tell me I'm special, I could do anything and I was beautiful.
He was the only person who's ever said that to me.
I was depressed when I met him so I was vulnerable.
He pressured me into telling him things that bothered me in my life even if I didn't want to.
I felt like I had no choice. Which should've been my first clue.
I started to get better with my depression, I had new hobbies that made me feel alive, I had more self confidence and learned more about my mental illness and learned that I just needed to adapt to it and it didn't need to be fixed.
That's when he started to show more obvious signs.
For example:
Whenever I talked about a book I liked or a new song I learned on my ukulele, he'd change the subject to whatever he wanted to talk about, he was a artist so he'd talk about that searching for compliments.
This was an actual response from him. (Word for word)
Him:"So what have you been up to?"
Me:"I'm reading a new book! It's so cool! It's about Russia in the 1800s."
Him:"Cool".
Me:"You think?"
Him:"Uh not really."
Then he talked about his new art style.
When things got really bad he told me that I needed to change, literally he said I needed to change my "Personality" so people would like me.
I told him that's so manipulative which began our first fight.
We apologized and made up and all was back to normal for two months.
But then...
He threw the fight back in my face and asked "Do you still trust me."
I explained to him that it's already hard for me to trust people so it'll take time to earn my trust back.
To which he replied "So you're saying this is all my fault!?"
"No, I didn't say that."
"That's what it sounds like!"
This became a whole thing, I tried explaining that I realize my fault in the situation and how I had forgiven his side but we needed to take a step back and think about our friendship.
He told me I just had to get over it and when I said I needed time he said the whole situation was my fault (He didn't imply it, he said it outright)
Nobody has ever been so cruel to me before.
He then told me I wasn't worth being friends with and blocked me.
I wish I had understood the simple signs, but I'm honestly glad to be out of there, I'd rather have an equal friendship where my voice matters. Where I was important too. It hurts but it was worth the experience.
If you even suspect that they may be toxic you should take a step back and really consider your friends actions.
I had a friend who I known 3 years. Our friendship had been on and off for a while and I had dealt with her being so available when she need something from me. Every time I get paid, she always text me 'how are you doing' and asks for money and never pay me back. I felt she was a narcissist.
THIS IS JUST WHAT I NEEDED THANK YOU
I'm going to end my friendship ive had for 8 years in person after two months since I'm in holidays at the moment, I'll edit this when I do tell them I want to let go, and cut them off. :)
so how did it go?
Toxic friends don't need you as a person, you are just a placeholder when they couldn't find no one else, or somebody canceled them at the last minute. They want to be with you only on their terms. When you have something that is important to you, or you need help, they will be occupied, they will not have time, or will openly dismiss it. They also talk behind your back about whatever you shared with them and make fun of that, even exaggerating, they are not here to help you but themselves.
letting go was the easy part. he affected me in so many ways and i hate him so much. i’ve gone through my sadness phase, then anger, then guilt, then being slightly friendly because i thought it would be easier, and now i’m back to anger.
I wish i saw this two years ago when i lost all my friends. I've been in a depressive kind of state because of it, never did i think i was better off without them or that they were toxic. All i saw was i was left behind and not worth staying for. But maybe better they left sooner than later when I've come even more attatched. I think. I hope...