How to End a Conversation Politely

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  • čas přidán 28. 08. 2024

Komentáře • 154

  • @alexanderlyon
    @alexanderlyon  Před 6 lety +5

    Try a Free short course in Essential Professional Communication Skills: www.alexanderlyon.com/free-resources

  • @wardaahmad3387
    @wardaahmad3387 Před 4 lety +98

    I pack my stuff in class to signal the lecturer 😂

  • @bubbybubbybubbyy
    @bubbybubbybubbyy Před rokem +12

    Thank you for this! I work as a barista in a cafe with mostly elderly customers who enjoy long conversations, but unfortunately my job requires a high pace and focus. My typical non verbal cues haven’t been working and I find myself standing awkwardly listening to customers even though I need to get back to my station. This was concise and gave me all the tips I needed! 😌

  • @aylinmontes8055
    @aylinmontes8055 Před 3 lety +23

    I like the “telling them what you’re about to do,” it’s like blaming the next activity for having to leave!
    Thanks so much, God bless you too!

  • @sisterelizee2722
    @sisterelizee2722 Před 6 měsíci +5

    I needed this. I had zero conversation termination skills.😊

  • @dextermanlulu9185
    @dextermanlulu9185 Před 5 lety +25

    I need this, I'm a Barista, and part of my job is engaging to our guests, after watching this, i'll improve more on doing small talks and how to close conversations in a nice way..thanks alex.

  • @ahlamomer
    @ahlamomer Před 4 lety +13

    Only you can maintain your boundaries, other people are not going to do that for you.... great 👍

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  Před 4 lety

      That's right, Omer. Once I learned that, my life changed.

  • @dommaareksslim3029
    @dommaareksslim3029 Před 2 lety +7

    Stating a time limit! I've never done this before and always end up feeling like I am 'abandoning' a conversation too early. Setting a time limit seems like a great way to honor my boundaries and those of others. Thanks!

  • @stephsmith5969
    @stephsmith5969 Před 2 lety +3

    I love this channel, only just discovered you Alex. These tips for ending conversations politely are great. I am regularly hijacked by long talkers. I think the most effective are the active signals, like putting my pen top on or tidying my stuff away. I had a boss a long time ago, he was 80 years old and the owner of an engineering business which had been in his family for several generations. He was very welcoming to people, receiving them in his office and genuinely listening to them etc. But all he had to do to bring the conversation to a close was to simply stand up. It never failed. He managed to convey by his stance that the meeting was at an end. He would shake hands warmly and accompany them right to the door of the building so they always felt as though there visit was important to him.

    • @rhythmandblues_alibi
      @rhythmandblues_alibi Před rokem

      It sounds like he was a great listener but also had a strong, powerful presence! Awesome.

  • @jennyl9452
    @jennyl9452 Před 4 lety +13

    Thank you for this logical and helpful breakdown.. Ending On MY Turn (No. 1), can be a challenge for me b/c I tend to allow folks to monopolize the exchange. But I can always interrupt politely and interject a time limit (No. 2) and combine this with letting them know What's Next (No. 5).

  • @dr.animeindia
    @dr.animeindia Před 11 měsíci +2

    Thank you for making this video. I really needed it .

  • @elsagonzalez5161
    @elsagonzalez5161 Před 3 lety +4

    "Pack it up" sounds best for most situations for me. Thank you for the tips🙏

  • @theseeker9591
    @theseeker9591 Před 4 lety +13

    ALL PHRASES IN THE VIDEO WHICH IS USED
    👇👇👇👇👇👇👇
    1) I'VE GOT ABOUT FIVE MINUTES TO TALK WHAT'S UP?
    2) I HAVE ABOUT ONE MORE MINUTE BEFORE I HAVE TO GO BUT LET ME FINISH WITH THIS THOUGHT
    3) I'VE GOT TO RUN
    4) I'VE GOT TO GET GOING
    5) I HAVE A MEETING TO GO TO
    6) I HAVE SOME PROJECTS I HAVE TO GET BACK ON
    7) I'M A LITTLE BEHIND ON SOME WORK
    8) IT WAS REALLY GREAT CATCHING UP
    9) I'M SO GLAD I BUMPED INTO YOU
    10) THIS WAS A GREAT CONVERSATION
    11) I'M REALLY SORRY BUT I DO HAVE TO GET GOING
    12) I APOLOGIZE BUT I HAVE GOT TO GO TO MY MEETING NOW

  • @theseeker9591
    @theseeker9591 Před 4 lety +18

    A VERY SHORT AND HELPFUL SUMMARY OF THE VIDEO
    👇👇👇👇👇👇👇
    1) END ON YOUR TALKING TURN - 1:03
    2) COMMUNICATE A TIME LIMIT - 1:32
    3) PACK UP YOUR STUFF - 2:9
    4) TELL THEM YOU HAVE TO GO - 2:50
    5) SAY WHAT YOU'RE DOING NEXT - 3:17
    6) USE POLITE EXPRESSION - 3:42
    7) APOLOGIZE AND REPEAT - 4:28

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  Před 4 lety +4

      Thanks for doing that. That'll be helpful for viewers.

  • @AshShawwa
    @AshShawwa Před 2 lety +2

    I think the best advice you gave for me was the first one. I have a tendency to interrupt people when leaving and I never thought twice about it until a few days ago and when I saw this video. Thanks!

  • @JuliaAndersonnow
    @JuliaAndersonnow Před 2 lety +2

    End on my turn, I love the time reference and then wrapping up your thoughts. BRILLIANT!

  • @Rose-ez9vf
    @Rose-ez9vf Před 5 lety +17

    Brilliant; I’ve never really thought about this so it’s very helpful.

  • @rontiemens2553
    @rontiemens2553 Před 6 lety +5

    I use all of these and can attest that they are very effective. The one that can benefit me the most is the one that I am a bit weak in, and that is #7, Apologize and Repeat. I need to apply that one more diligently. Thank you, Mr. Lyon!

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  Před 6 lety

      Thanks, Ron. #7 is also the one I have to work on. It takes the conversation that extra step but I'm getting more comfortable doing it.

  • @kathconstance4684
    @kathconstance4684 Před 6 lety +12

    Biggest tip - The importance of setting own boundaries - Thank you :)

    • @bf9396
      @bf9396 Před 2 lety

      Yes because if not people will not have any.

  • @tariqzk6964
    @tariqzk6964 Před 2 lety +1

    this was the most helpful video i have seen on this topic

  • @MissLlah
    @MissLlah Před 3 lety +2

    Stating a time limit is a great tool.

  • @mozaik-inc
    @mozaik-inc Před 2 lety +1

    Polite expressions seems like a great way to guard your time while encouraging follow up interactions; I really like this tip.
    At the same time, apologizing for setting a boundary doesnt sit right with me so I don't see my self using this one.
    Thanks for the video!

  • @ellenramsey7661
    @ellenramsey7661 Před 5 lety +11

    I ususally just say I have to get back to work. It works and most people just say "ok, Ill talk with you later"

  • @MissLlah
    @MissLlah Před 3 lety +2

    These are terrific!!!

  • @onlyagreeingsometimes
    @onlyagreeingsometimes Před 6 měsíci

    I really do apologize, but I have to go and watch another video. You've been great and really helpful. Have a great day. Seriously, I've got to go and watch this video as planned today. Bye now.

  • @donnadavidson5027
    @donnadavidson5027 Před 10 měsíci

    I think I will use step 2 the most...thank you, I really am glad I found you channel!!!

  • @georgeleal8357
    @georgeleal8357 Před 6 lety +4

    Set a time limit is very helpful. Great video. It has very good tips.

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  Před 6 lety

      Thanks, George. I use that one a lot personally.

  • @jondriver9069
    @jondriver9069 Před 3 lety +2

    I keep finding myself in this situation with phone calls lately. I like the setting a time limit technique. Good video

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  Před 3 lety

      Same here!

    • @noobshateme644
      @noobshateme644 Před 3 lety +1

      Pro tip: Turn your phone on airplane mode so it would look like the call dropped

  • @roncall6065
    @roncall6065 Před 2 lety +1

    Thank you I struggle with ending conversations. I give too much

  • @holliann4193
    @holliann4193 Před rokem +1

    Thank you for all the advice! What about when you can't be the one who has to go? Like if they're in your office or in your home? As someone who's neurodivergent these cues are hard for me to pick up in others let alone express for my self. 😅

  • @someguy604
    @someguy604 Před 2 lety

    Definitely 4 and 6 for small talk. I'm working on this and will master it.

  • @tapasyamarathe603
    @tapasyamarathe603 Před 3 lety +1

    Thanks a lot.. This is indeed helpful.

  • @layingonofhandsorthopdcmassage

    Great job, Alex. I am also enjoying your other videos and passing them on to peers who can benefit from presentation skills trainings

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  Před 6 lety

      Thank you, Gary. I appreciate the encouragement. :-)

  • @HealthilyBodied
    @HealthilyBodied Před 3 lety

    Setting a time limit and using “I’ve for to get going” for sure are great tips!
    Thanks

  • @SharonsUniverse
    @SharonsUniverse Před 3 lety +1

    Thank you for that insightful video! I do number 7 but it needs a lot of work...my apologizing tends to come off as if I am making excuses. A combination of number 1 and number 5 would work best for me. Number 7 (with improvement) will work for the tricky long talkers.

  • @j.shepard6818
    @j.shepard6818 Před 4 měsíci

    Thank you for this

  • @pleitez_1000
    @pleitez_1000 Před 9 měsíci

    thanks for theses tips are very helpful

  • @igirlgeek
    @igirlgeek Před 2 lety +1

    I've had the problem where I'd be serving customers, someone I'm serving starts a conversation and keeps going while I'm trying to serve my next customers. Now, normally I wouldn't mind to talk to them, but when I'm in the middle of serving other customers that I should be fully engaging with, it feels rude for a third person to be taking my attention away from my current customer. Even when I'd try to ignore them while continuing the transaction, they'd keep talking and I'd want to say "just take the hint and go!".
    But now I know I can just say "It's been lovely talking to you, but I have a lot of customers to serve, we can catch up later." Thanks Alex :)

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  Před 2 lety +1

      Glad it was useful. I think your suggested response is a good one. You could say that or, "It's been great talking. _It looks like I had better_ help my other customers . . ." I'll bet if you practiced a few go-to ways of saying it, it'll start to come more naturally. Also, if you add some nonverbal cues like look around the room or look in another customer's direction just before you say it, it'll be obvious that you have lots to do.

    • @igirlgeek
      @igirlgeek Před 2 lety

      @@alexanderlyon Yeah, practice makes perfect. I'm not great at saying things when they're pre-rehearsed, it makes me feel anxious and my mind goes blank. Thankfully I haven't needed to deal with customers for a few years cos of the pandemic, but it'll be useful to get out of talking to people :P

  • @maryalex092761
    @maryalex092761 Před 2 lety +2

    Great video but this all implies that you 'have to get going" when this issue can surface in the middle of being W/ another person for an extended period of time. What should a person do when you are on a hike or are going to be with him/her for a longer period of time but are obsessing or ruminating about a topic that you are fatigued of hearing about. Thx

  • @erickauffmann_official
    @erickauffmann_official Před 6 lety +10

    Great video Alex :)

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  Před 6 lety

      Thank you, Eric. I appreciate it. Congratulations on your channel's success.

  • @melodymeyer8621
    @melodymeyer8621 Před 3 lety

    Number 2 and Number 5! Most helpful - thank you!

  • @boudoirmelbourne
    @boudoirmelbourne Před 4 lety +4

    Great I can use this on my busy body neighbour 😘

  • @genobevasnowden5658
    @genobevasnowden5658 Před 5 měsíci

    Great tips. Tysm!

  • @gabewilde7536
    @gabewilde7536 Před 2 lety +2

    But like how do you end a conversation when you don’t need to leave but you feel like the conversation died off? Cause like i don’t want to be abrupt like i’ve been wanting to leave or anything like that, but the conversation is over. If i was to say, “well, I’ll see you later.” i feel like that’s like me wanting to leave.

  • @tburnette910
    @tburnette910 Před 2 lety

    I do think I can use #2 tho! It's good to see you, Mary. I have about 3min before I have to get back to [this thing you totally interrupted me from doing!] project.

  • @claire-sn6ek
    @claire-sn6ek Před 2 lety

    Thanks, I was trying to end a conversation with my best friend.

  • @emic9838
    @emic9838 Před rokem +1

    As someone Neurodiverse, I really struggle with this 😅
    I need to find a way to end the conversation with the elderly neighbour when I'm in a rush on my way out

  • @rhythmandblues_alibi
    @rhythmandblues_alibi Před rokem

    I really struggle with people monopolising my time and taking advantage, just talking at me on and on. I only ever really use 6 and 7 but real steamrollers will just ignore these more polite options and keep talking. It's infuriating because I dont want to be rude but they really give you no option. I really like the time limit idea, saying yeah I can chat for like ten minutes, because I still want to be friendly I just hate living in fear of being baled up for an hour when I just want to go about my business. This feels like a natural extension of how I have been setting alarms to make sure I don't stay past 6:30.
    Something that helped me feel better about "interrupting" (which I have learned is actually just ending a conversation) is realising that they are really the rude one for not being self-aware enough to pay attention to whether I am actually still enjoying the conversation or just being polite and I would really rather leave. I think these types of people need to be called out more. Who wants to have a multi-hour conversation outside in the dark and cold while I'm halfway inside my car ready to leave?! Read the "room" ffs!

  • @hemoix2428
    @hemoix2428 Před 4 lety

    Thank you so much, this is most definitely helpful.

  • @nikitakhanna..
    @nikitakhanna.. Před 2 lety

    Apologise & Repeat helps me. the most as Its my everyday problem to end up the conversations...And I really sometimes struggle to interrupt when someone is talking to me...

  • @cybertroy2
    @cybertroy2 Před 5 lety +9

    i deal with a few people who wont stop talking even if i start walking away slowly lol arghh makes me avoid them completely when they're around.

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  Před 5 lety +4

      I know the feeling. I have also found that those people can handle pretty direct communication (e.g., "I really have to go. Sorry."). They've heard it before so you won't be the only person who is saying it to them.

  • @roncall6065
    @roncall6065 Před 2 lety

    Best On This Topic Thank You

  • @markotwell3009
    @markotwell3009 Před 6 lety +1

    Alex! Great work man! I needed to brush up on those 7 skills... I am an usher at the movie theater.
    Hope you guys are doing well. Mark

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  Před 6 lety

      Hi Mark. Good to hear from you on here. Thanks for joining in the discussion.

  • @giovannapuppo9183
    @giovannapuppo9183 Před 3 lety +1

    Thank you! This is really helpful. I was wondering what happens if the other person keeps talking when you already said you couldn’t stay longer?

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  Před 3 lety

      I've done several things after repeating it a few times such as excuse myself from my own office and walk out. I had to genuinely leave work once to get home and the person followed me out to the parking lot! I maintained politeness the whole time, though, with my words and nonverbals.

    • @nikitakhanna..
      @nikitakhanna.. Před 2 lety

      @Giovanna I can completely relate what you mean!

  • @dianaklien1560
    @dianaklien1560 Před 2 lety +1

    Well, since a lot of the time it has to do with family members in the house, number four: saying I have to go, but it would actually mean I have to go to the bathroom. Which would work since I am known to have the bladder of a 2 year old. But I wonder if they would catch on after awhile that our conversations always end with me going to the bathroom. It’s a little hard to say I have something to go do when they can see that my next appointment is with the novel I am reading or the tv show I am watching. PS still helpful knowing to end on my turn and might be able to state a time limit some how.

  • @brendagraham8611
    @brendagraham8611 Před 2 lety

    I say..."I better make tracks" to indicate that I'm about to leave the conversation! Another thing I do if I'm in a social situation & we are drinking tea or coffee, I would say "can I take your cup" to deliver to the coffee table!

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  Před 2 lety

      Good suggestions, Brenda. Those are very natural ways to show a transition is happening.

  • @Lemon29381
    @Lemon29381 Před 2 lety +3

    POV: you’re here cause your a introvert and someone keeps talking to you

  • @medhashas
    @medhashas Před 2 lety

    Guarding boundaries mutually

  • @cominghomewithsusanne
    @cominghomewithsusanne Před 3 lety

    Hmmm Alex these were all really good. It’s hard to pick one. I’m going to practice these. Have a great day!

  • @SportsDhalePH
    @SportsDhalePH Před 2 lety

    the best way instead say sorry say (thank you but i have to go see you again) be gratitude person at all coast.

  • @monicakuffour
    @monicakuffour Před rokem

    Great !

  • @bengalibhay5024
    @bengalibhay5024 Před rokem

    We give heart to insta while ending a chatting conversation😂😂😂😂

  • @mbmb77
    @mbmb77 Před 4 lety

    Love this!! Thank you

  • @roncall6065
    @roncall6065 Před 2 lety

    Subbed Thank You

  • @tburnette910
    @tburnette910 Před 2 lety

    Ending on my turn is not helpful in my particular case b/c the people hijacking my time give me no time to jump in and I also don't feel equipped with any conversational content in order to take my turn do that I can give them a 2 min time limit.

  • @AjayMishraUIUXDesigner

    Thanks Sir

  • @kbeautician
    @kbeautician Před rokem

    Trapped. Wow. People just chatting. End it when you’re ready. No negative held captive.

  • @HeroicKhalid
    @HeroicKhalid Před 2 lety

    All are greats and will try them. My issue at work I have nice colleagues but they talk to me while I work which is so bad not sure how to solve it each time have to speak for an hour till have a chance to work. Sometimes I put my earphone and pretend I hear nothing from him. Plz I need help its serious i might quit for it.

  • @darwinuy495
    @darwinuy495 Před 2 lety

    I should have researched this sooner or i may still have my ex or something but theres also other factors to consider

  • @markmedlock9228
    @markmedlock9228 Před 5 lety

    Hi this is Mark my opinion is that I like both

  • @alexmilan4496
    @alexmilan4496 Před 3 lety

    Great vid 😄

  • @alexanderlyon
    @alexanderlyon  Před 6 lety +3

    What tip from the list do you think is most helpful?

    • @layingonofhandsorthopdcmassage
      @layingonofhandsorthopdcmassage Před 6 lety

      Communication Coach Alex Lyon Not only is it beneficial to end the conversation while its “your turn” but you can also hang up a phone to end a conversation by disconnecting while you’re still talking. The other person will assume that the call dropped since they wouldn’t expect you to hang up on yourself.🙄

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  Před 6 lety

      Ha. I've heard that tip but never had the guts to do it.

  • @DukeChubbyDun
    @DukeChubbyDun Před 9 měsíci

    I know this video is 5 years old (pre-covid) but since being forced back into the office a few months ago, i've noticed that these cues USED to work, but these days, people aren't picking up on non-verbal cues, and they don't respect your explicit cut off....it's as if people forgot how to socialize!
    I'm literally on a virtual team meeting with my headphones on, and people are trying to strike up conversation!....WHAT?!
    Am I doing something wrong???

  • @markotwell3009
    @markotwell3009 Před 6 lety +1

    Sorry and look at the line and offer to call for another Co-worker for assistance for the customer. A gentle expression helps.

  • @queennef6188
    @queennef6188 Před 3 lety

    All SEVEN thank you

  • @dshaf7
    @dshaf7 Před 2 lety

    Thank you! I’m sorry, but I have to go watch another video.

  • @MG-wf9df
    @MG-wf9df Před 25 dny

    Number 6

  • @sunnywmq
    @sunnywmq Před 3 lety

    took notes

  • @graleyf7830
    @graleyf7830 Před 5 lety +1

    I think the one that I state my time limit.

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  Před 5 lety

      I do that a lot myself. Thanks for contributing, graley.

  • @dominiqueritchey6795
    @dominiqueritchey6795 Před 2 lety

    Nice

  • @livelife2507
    @livelife2507 Před 2 lety +1

    How to end a phone call ?

  • @venkatchait007
    @venkatchait007 Před měsícem

    I've become so bad at social shit over the pandemic, all my conversations were just infinitely long 😅

  • @whiteeyedsh4rk697
    @whiteeyedsh4rk697 Před rokem

    I like how "Thats the way normal people do this" indicates that we are not normal people because we look up this video xD

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  Před rokem

      That's true! People who already know how to end conversations politely do not watch this video.

  • @armorvestrus4119
    @armorvestrus4119 Před 3 lety +1

    Number 1. is not always true, some people never shut up and let you answer or get a word in sideways.

  • @Knowledge_Nuggies
    @Knowledge_Nuggies Před 2 lety +1

    I typically do the Bully Maguire: "See ya, chump!"

  • @lindy-ann1412
    @lindy-ann1412 Před 3 měsíci

    I've done all of these and they never work

  • @sornassiva9264
    @sornassiva9264 Před 3 lety

    Understable

  • @podersa241
    @podersa241 Před rokem

    How about a person who does not even listen as you are saying this. I spent 3 hours telling a house guest that I have a lot of work so I can only sit for 5 minutes tops. I kept excusing myself and continued to talk. Really great person but too much time talking even when the worker showed up to do work and when the worker finished working and we need to talk money. Also cleaning person shows up talk talk talk.

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  Před rokem

      I have politely walked people out of my house/office. I say, "Let me walk you out because I something really need to get to." Also, if you know the cleaning person is going to talk, then you can greet them, let them know you have something to do, and be sure not to stay in the same room. In other words, it sounds like you could be more assertive in letting them know what you'll be doing for your side.

  • @ravisingh9470
    @ravisingh9470 Před 3 lety

    Set a time limit

  • @ajengdiniutami
    @ajengdiniutami Před 3 lety

    Who that come here after watch the Malavika Varadan's video (TEDTalksxPilaniDubai) about "Seven Ways to Make a Conversation with Anyone"? And you've going to search this video? We are one server 😅

  • @johnmwaniki9100
    @johnmwaniki9100 Před 2 lety

    End it when it's your turn. Tell them what you are going to do: I'm behind some work.

  • @codenamexelda
    @codenamexelda Před 4 lety +2

    There's actually 8 ways.
    And here's the 8th,
    Just say...
    all right, that's all the time I've got. I got to get back to playing animal crossing new leaf on my Nintendo 3DS.

  • @kelseyblue9538
    @kelseyblue9538 Před 4 lety

    Most helpful: end on your turn

  • @Rakib-us9is
    @Rakib-us9is Před 3 lety

    Now how do pick up my stuff in whats app.

  • @TBR_LLC
    @TBR_LLC Před 4 lety

    say you have to go.

  • @khalidkhaled3953
    @khalidkhaled3953 Před 4 lety +1

    The last one. Apologize and repeat.

  • @Happy.chappys
    @Happy.chappys Před 6 měsíci

  • @ilahazs
    @ilahazs Před rokem +1

    social skill = 20% 😭

  • @mysticmadrid448
    @mysticmadrid448 Před rokem

    How do you end a conversation when you're not going somewhere? When you're just not wanting to talk with them anymore but they've come up to you and just talk and talk and talk and won't leave your space

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  Před rokem

      Same idea accept you'd say something along the lines of, "I have to get some stuff done." If you add a little politeness to the beginning "Thanks for coming by. It was nice to catch up. I have to get some stuff done now."

  • @rickeya991
    @rickeya991 Před 2 lety

    Lol . I don't be talking . I don't even get a turn .