How to Fix Your Dead or Abusive Relationships
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- čas přidán 8. 01. 2022
- Is your relationship abusive but not dead or beyond hope? How to tell relationships apart and what can you do to revive your partnership?
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How do I know narcissistic abuse hasn’t destroyed my spirit? Sam Vaknin never fails to makes me laugh in every single video! It’s such welcome comic relief!
Sam Vaknin, you are a gift to humanity. Thank you for your tireless work.
I must echo what Sheeba has said. Thank you so much Sam. You really help me. May you be very blessed for your tireless and invaluable work.
So true a negative relationship is like a malignant disease. I found myself becoming very negative in all areas .. since I left my unhappy relationship I’m more positive and hopeful..
I would think you can’t isolate physical abuse away from emotional and psychological abuse. Yet, targets think they are lucky if they are just emotionally or psychologically abused. People have no idea of all the abuse they tolerate.
Everyday I go on with my life. And things happen. And I ask my self these questions. And then I swear. Every day. I open up youtube and alas here you are. Answering my questions and saving me from action.
Im in a toxic relationsvip both at work and home.
They are killing me.
I want out but will have to change my life completely.
What you have said is spot on. I need to take action now before theirs nothing left of me
❤❤❤ Stay strong. Move forward when your ready.
I am not certain that man woman relationships were meant to go on much past the honeymoon period , after that it turns into hard work. I think that initial attraction is there to keep the species going on, this till death us do part thing is man made not nature made, it is difficult because we are fighting against nature, perhaps.
I cannot imagine more comprehensive nor any wiser than this presentation on the complex subject of an abusive or dead relationship. Thank you so very much, Sam Vaknin. 🙏
Probably one of the best videos you have made.. at least for me..
Very practical, succinct, felt
Like a therapy session for me… I will be listening to this over and over ..actionable steps for solutions … to both outcomes.. ending or working on relationship…and end of relationship even if it is a narc relationship.. made positive ..
Thank You!!!!!
I completely agree. I’m in tears. Spot on. True. Poignant. Thank you!
Yes, it’s emotional weekly abuse,
That was a particularly profound, elite, monastery level fireside lecture that addressed and spoke directly to my tortured, lost in time and space, self. It's as if you were there; and therefor you know ,the inner cogs of the trauma timepiece by which we check our days forever after. Thank you for this work you are doing. This sharing of the tablets. After the apocalypse, and by the Grace of God alone I am still here, you are truly helping me in parting the curtain.
One of the best videos I think he's ever done.
Hi Prof. You have helped me so much. Regards from South Africa.
I think best thing one can do is go through life with minimal entanglement with people. Contact only need basis with everyone. Otherwise remain single-solo and silent peaceful... Low entanglement = high peace of mind.
sad but true
Brilliant, simply brilliant. Thank you!
Thank you for your knowledge, intelligence and wisdom. The information in this video has provided clarity in my current situation so I can move forward with awareness.
Your lectures n discourses are indepth and insightful. They have been very helpful.Thankyou Sir.
Thank you Prof. Vaknin.🙏
Yes I was ashamed ,you hit the nail on the head I invested so much my family told me I was making a mistake I didn't want to admit I was a fool.
Amazing video Sam! Thank you :D
What if only one person goes to therapy or counseling. Then the other one sees it as I’ve been brainwashed. It’s either put -up or, shut-up… Some see suicide as finally getting peace..??
I see suicidal thoughts as natural in certain settings. It's also a very natural signalling that you want out, so do things differently. Xox
Thankyou Sam. Deep appreciation .
God bless you Sam Vaknin, you are a gift!
🦆🦆🦆🦆Toda Raba again Prof Sam Vaknin! I follow your lectures already 4 years. U r amazing!
Thank you. I needed to hear these from you.
Love is misunderstanding.
Tremendous. Very helpful. Thank you.
I love your ideas Sam. X
Oh wow. Dr V has just described the last 7 years of my marriage….. I seriously need to get out.
Very good. Thank you.
Professor Vaknin.....my therapist sent me a list of abusive behaviors, in an attempt, I believe, to help me see the forms of "subtle" abuse that I was sweeping under the rug in my marriage. My husband who was recently diagnosed with vulnerable narcissism, drove so recklessly at times that I feared for my safety. I would cry and plead with him to stop. An image of my son that is seared into my memory was during one of those occasions. I looked towards the back where he was seated and saw him mouthing the words, "mom, I'm scared!" I never said anything to my husband because I was trying to save my marriage and foolishly thought that not saying anything was the only way. Why isn't that form of abuse on the list of abusive behaviors? I live in Canada and would love to see that form of abuse added to the literature here.
My narc also drives crazy… like right on the line of two lane, trying to squeeze other person out… and hopefully get sideswiped… is soooo aggressive , and screams at me when I’m driving… “what’s wrong with you, you have precious cargo on here(meaning himself)..you don’t know how to drive!!
Crazy…
@@369moksha7 and FYI, I did establish a boundary when I couldn't tolerate the reckless driving. I told him that if I am in the car, and I am feeling unsafe with his driving, (and I clarified that MY feelings of being unsafe were what mattered..NOT whether or not he thought I should feel unsafe....he was unable to validate my feelings....I was always "overreacting") that I would ask him to pull over and that I would do the driving. And that if he couldn't do that, then I would not get in the car with him. I'll never forget the confused look on his face. Like I was speaking a foreign language.
Excellent no nonsence content
Excellent presentation
Abuse is about control.
I cab really relate to this... I was completely devoted. The relationship is over for a year now. Im focusing on healing but if you are in this kind relationship...really LISTEN to Sam Vaknin!!
Sam & his wife are amazing humans.
we need to create awareness to this world
6:08 emotional abuse 10:05 anger 16:23
Sir, My father has hoarding disorder. So mother is actually fed up.everyday fights r common.He is not changing.He values things more than her.but he needs her service.wat to do?He curses and fights everyone he gets angry.fed up of seeing their fight
As always this lecture is profound, clear, and helpful beyond measure. So introjects will kill and stall personal growth, and so on. I’m interested in learning more about the economic effects of domestic violence. That had never occurred to me. I’m going to improve on expressions of gratitude. Thanks for teaching me!
I said thank you , forgive me …… but nothing change , we apart in time, he practise silent treatment for 4 months with me…….. I think is time to mouve on…….
Lmao good video, but reflecting on it I think the last people telling me what abuse is is the bureaucrats in the council of europe
Why do you say when the abuser has embedded his voice in your mind ? I mean Im a male and my partner was the narcissist and abuser and she was female. So I know it goes both ways. Correct?
Excellent analysis.
Sunk cost fallacy = self deception every time and I wonder if it instinctual to do so ?
Duckies
Thank you for the translation. I was trying to find the meaning, but I hadn't heard it correctly.
Prof. Vaknin, could you please send us the reference regarding the european council looking at the economic impact caused by domestic violence?
Both
Prof you have the best sense of humour
Both 🥴
The relationship is dead because of abusive in nature 🙄
From abusive to dead. I get so tierd that I don't try anymore and so even when abuse has stopped it's dead. My Joy, love and Motivation are dead. Hence! begins the dead relationship.
@@chandaniberry9369 Yes, abuse killed it dead. I feel exactly the same; so weary. And from the sound of it, I would say it's not just your relationship that has died, but your soul is dying too. I don't know that I will ever again find hope, joy, or motivation (much less love) at this late date in my life
14:40 = appreciate that
The thumbnail reminds me of one of my favourite couplets in Urdu by Dr. Bashir Badr.
The translation goes like
In this reddish shawl of the autumn, the one who sits beside the sad tree,
(It) is the spring of your abode, make it green again with your tears.
Original text
Yeh Khiza ki zard si shawl mein jo udaas pedh ke pass hai
yeh tumhare ghar ki bahaar hai, isey aansuon se haraa karo
Could u also give the meaning .
It’s 💀 dead! He’s a vulnerable narcissist