Talking To My Friends vs My Therapist 🙈 - Dr Julie
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- čas přidán 2. 04. 2022
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WHO AM I:
I'm a clinical psychologist. I am here to share insights from therapy and psychology research so that you can make use of it in your daily life to understand how your mind works and optimise your own mental health. I cover all things from confidence and motivation to mood and anxiety. I look forward to chatting with you in the comments.
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Not just me that does this then!
can you cure anxiety?
Same with me , how would a therapist understand me & what I'm going through , not able to reason
Low self awareness about me & issues I'm facing with
@@mistyicsNo, but also yes. It's about managing it. Focus on a goal(job hobby, etc.) Anxiety comes from having lack of purpose, give yourself purpose. Once you have that focus anxiety usually fades away. If it doesn't then well, ask yourself the hard questions and what you can actually do to solve them, you'll probably realise that what you're anxious about wasn't really that bad to begin with.
Stay strong even though you may not feel comfortable, that's life, I believe in you.
Do a video on why some people shouldnt be therapists
Me who bottles up everything and doesn't speak to a soul about my problems: 👀
u rly just called me out there
God is always willing to listen. And He will never tell your secrets. You can trust Him.
Do u also feel chest pain doing this ? Pls reply
@@PrakritiSharma3 I always do this and dude I've suddenly started getting random chest aches that last for like a min or so... Idk what's wrong with me 🤷♀️🤷♀️
@@yummybagels sme!!
I could talk to the therapist more easily than any of my friend..... Uk why, cuz when I'll tell the therapist bout my problem he/she won't interrupt me in between and calmly listen,,,, whereas my family and friends start telling me their problems and don't just listen to me or try to know wht I m saying..... It freaking sucks when after a lot of thinking u decide to tell someone that u r feeling down and they just turn down ur point and start with whatever they want to talk about..... Disregarding u....... I m so freaking sad and down rn and here my family and friends don't even gaf.... I m sorry if someone found me offensive 🙏🏻
I understand that so well
I faced this over and over again
Makes you feel like no one understands and then you feel all alone
Best to just get good therapy and accept that your situation is neither unique, alone, or hopeless, many people are suffering in the same way and you can and will make it out
I of course don’t know you or your situation, but l do believe with good enough help that doesn’t have to be perfect (nothing has to be) anyone can make it out to a good state
Hope this wasn’t too platitudeish and l hope you well
@@saikawa2024 thanks..... Thank u for comforting me.... But there's one thing for sure that I'll never get a single therapy session..... The situation with me, kinda holds back every lil help I could ever get, and the pressure to perform not well but Best just worsens everything....
Hello Riya. I can relate with the situation you're talking about because I'm (still) experiencing it too. It sucks yes especially when we are introverts. When I started talking about my problem, my mom always replies with her story or what she did in the past or "if it's me.." always about her and not trying to focus the problem I'm having or to give specific advice about how to solve it, only talks about her life. And my dad he only replies with "oh" or "hmm". Is this what you're talking about Riya?
That's why sometimes I just don't wanna share to them because it hurts more to see that kind of reaction, how much they don't actually care.
But Riya idk if this will help you but after I learned stuff about mental health, I realize that:
1. We can't make everyone to understand how we feel because they're never been in our shoes.
2. Every person has their own background which raises them to be that way (careless, not emphatic, etc)
3. Every person has their own character and we can't change that
The only thing we need to do is to support ourselves, let them be them because that's how they are build. And put in your mind that you can do it even without them listening, criticizing or caring about you.
Get up and be independent towards them. And only share to positive people who really cares about you. Maybe your Auntie, old friends, or even therapist.
When someone is toxic to you, it's just them, normal people don't do that.
Let's get stronger and rise Riya 💪🏻
Hey girl! You should totally tell them that this bothers you because it's definitely annoying. Sometimes I do it too to others and it's just happens unconsciously but since they've also done it to me I realised there was a problem. Once you tell that it's not nice to tell your problems when someone else is doing the same they will keep that in mind. It'll take some time until they're used but please give it a go and tell them!
That's called being emotionally invalidated and dismissed. Those aren't true friends. Sorry you go through this, but I'm glad you have a therapist to work through these issues ♡ sending much love and light to you
I think it's the sense of trust and comfort that comes with trustworthy friendship 😁
That's a recipe for disaster.
@@racecarjonny8460 actually, being able to trust and receive comfort from friends is one indication of a healthy individual.
Then there's me who talks to nobody.. 👀
Then there's me who physically CAN'T talk to anyone because my parents keep me from getting a therapist and basiclly nobody else understands me so.. yea
@FuriousCalel same
I thought I was the only one
I feel you bro
I need to be my therapist because i don’t have friends
😂 definitely accurate until you get comfortable with your therapist/counselor
*I am the absolute COMPLETE opposite!!! I NEVER discuss my deepest thoughts and emotions with my friends, but I definitely do with my therapist!!! Lmao!!* 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Haha yes! This is literally me-
Not me because my peers won't listen more carefully
I actually think that talking to therapist is more easier than talking to a friend ! Cause this therapist doesn't personally know you and will not judge you
Clap clap clap...👌🏻👏🏻👏🏻🤗
until you get a shitty therapist lol
If you don't understand diagnosing like kind of judging.... 🤷♀️
True !
I will be having my first therapy session in a few days. Wish me luck. 😊
How did that go
😂 Cute
I cried a lot in my first session ever. Just was at the bottom and couldn't say what I was afraid of being true. I didn't speak too much about it with any friend either, cos it scared me so much. And yes, that awful thought was true and the key to uncover my past and take off my blinds, unlearn the toxic behaviour and language I had been brainwashed with and start my life, and my journey to happiness ❤
My therapist always made sure I felt comfortable with him and reiterated many times I was in a safe space.
Successful therapeutic work relies on that.
Friends cannot truly fill that role.
People can't betray something that they don't know
Only until you tell them it
I’m so grateful for my therapist!❤️
Omg yes. I've been self harming for about a year and when my parents found out they sent me to therapy. After about three months of trying to speak up, some panick attacks and just really bad anxiety coming with it, my therapist suggested I stop. I was sure it meant I was just bad at talking about my self, abd my therapist told me that as well. Then a couple weeks later, my best friend finds out, abd I find myself talking so much more comfortably to her than I thought I could.
Great for you ❤
OMG THIS video STRESSES ME OUT AND triggers my anxiety!!! 😩
Once I told a therapist about how my brothers would beat me up and I get black and blue marks on my skin, and she literally said “I’ve heard worse things than that”. I gave up on therapy after that….
I am genuinely so sorry. That is AWFUL.
Find a new one!
Pls find a trauma-informed therapist. You deserve the help you desire. Also,pls look into CPTSD. And educate yourself on narcissism, NPD, BPD.
As a Therapist I would never say such a thing to someone. I am sorry that was your experience but hope you are on a better path now. God bless
Facts 😅 I mean if my crippling anxiety allowed me to have friends
😢
Same💀
That is so true 😂❤
Usually, clients have difficulty discussing their problem with a therapist. However, they discuss it openly with friends. Open up with your therapist so that he/she can understand your situation and feelings completely and help you accordingly.
YOU ARE REALLY A GREAT PERSON... 😌 ...... LOVE YOU MA'AM
I'm the complete opposite. I just started therapy and I talking to the therapist just flows. I can't believe how fast time goes.
Family tries to fix me without hearing the whole thing. I don't want to burden my friends since they have their own things they're dealing with.
Even my therapist gently let me know I ramble way too much for a 1 hour session 😂 I paid for 10 sessions 😂😂😂😂😂
That is the way life is. I actually talk to friends and therapist in different ways.
Therapist can be intimidating.
I really sympathize with my therapist after I finish from my session because my anxiety doesn't know how to stop 😂
(me talking about my problems to my friends)
That one friend: stop making everything about yourself!
Does anyone else have friends like this?
I don't have friends at all
@@aleaaerktyka1052 same :’(
Cut that friend out. That's pretty mean.
Not a friend, but my self doubt
Talking to a therapist was amazing for me. She was the most amazing woman I ever met. So calm, wise, strong and educated. I get why people say therapists can read minds. Changed my life for the better for years. Then came Covid and a lot of other shit😅😂
Hello I'm Nikki and I can really relate to this video talking to a friend about my mental health and problems is a lot easier than talking to a therapist
It’s only been 5 minutes and already 140 views! U are amazing Dr. Julie ❤️
It’s easier to talk about your problems to a stranger than a friend . Maybe that’s because we are not so vulnerable in front of our friends than with someone with don’t know personally . Thank you Dr Julie ❤️❤️
Who is we? A lot of people are more comfortable with friends
in 3rd grade i tried talking to ppl about my problems but they all said smth like: “ you’re just overthinking”
“she has bigger problems than u”
“**starts talking abt their own problems**”
and even my mom said
“no its just a feeling”
since then i didnt tell anyone my problems cuz i dont want to judge ppl with it and my mom would probably say the same
im feeling so hopeless recently 💀
i dont get enough sleep and im overthinking every single conversation and i dont like to do the things i did before… but everyone thinks im fine cuz of my perfect grades but grades dont make happiness. i wish i could’ve had a person like a therapist i can tell my problems but my mom would never send me there or smth.. do u have any tips?? plss
I think I am the one who can understand you, no one listens to our problems, friends and parents too think if we are getting good grades so we are totally fine, i am not even dare to tell my mom what I was going through because when ever I tried to do so she was like, you do not talk with people and was telling me why I was bad
At that time I was in school, crying daily more than once , intense headaches , but now my school years have completed and i chose online mode, and broke contacts with most of my friends
And after many years i think i am getting out from it, it was my school who made me feel depressed
@@Person-dw6fk damn i hope you get well soon
try to give yourself apreciation, but not enabling yourself. like buy a nice clothes, going out with friends and cut a social media. In my case I cook and painting when I'm stress out and still have a common sense. But at some point when I really depressed and can't think I'm going to psycologist, online.
@@resyahusaini6641 Thank, you. I’ll try that.
Same here
i love venting to my friend bc we always end up trauma dumping and responding in “damn” and “oh”
Why must we call it trauma dumping? Its just usual human conversation. Sounds so victim blamey to me.
@@carnivoroussarah bc its random and its normally something that caused us trauma so we dumped each others trauma on each other until we both say something slow or dumb that we start laughing
My therapist tells me off even tho she shouts at me if i dont speak and tells me i need to geow up everytime i tell her stuff.
And there is me - who does the exact opposite.
Results: exactly the same.
Difference: friends are cheaper.
but y is this so relatable! every session makes me so anxious
Brilliant and Congratulations on your book. Keep it real. Loads of us relate to your approach and thank you 🙏💓
Hi! I have honestly came to a realization that it’s better to not tell my business to the family or people. I have specific people for emotional support and then I have healthy friends…
😂😂😂 this is so me lol to the T😂😂 why is this so funny!!
My best friend reminds me to take notes while we talk 😂
That feeling when you wanna talk with an actual therapist but you're so comfortable with talking with your friends that you just feel like nothing will be better than talking with your friends so you just stay at that
A trained therapist is not just a sounding board like friends. They have the education that can bring about healthy growth.
My life is better for entering therapy.
@@maryann7619 yes i know all about that, but i still dont wanna do it
This is honestly what it felt like at first. Now that I’m more comfortable I’m able to talk about it more. I also like that my therapist is willing to adapt to my needs and the fact my thoughts can be a bit all over the place. So many of my healthcare providers I feel don’t understand my needs, or get annoyed because of my abnormal communication patterns.
So true and relatable💀👍
I've never been to a therapist and I don't tell my problems to my friends.
I no longer tell my friends how I feel, either they don't understand me, they say I complain a lot or they say I'm negative
I would prefer a therapist
I hope you're feeling better now. Although I'm going through the same thing now. I just realised my friends just don't care about what I'm going through. I was always there for them. But they didn't even bother to ask me if I'm okay when I'm going through shit.
@@farahfathimaalrafeeq3675 I'm just recovering from an illness, it made my anxiety skyrocket through the roof but I'd be fine
It hurts sometimes but you'll get over it❤️🩹
I feel like it would be the opposite for me as the only problems I talk to my friends about are stupid ones that don’t matter instead of telling them how I actually feel.
Nacho is a genius. Redirects Hector's anger from Gus to himself completely.
Yes totally relatable😂
Hahah- I never talk about my problems.
Yes!! It is SO hard to connect with a therapist!!
I do the exact opposite. I can talk to my therapist and adults very easily about my past but when it comes to friends I'm absolutely quiet about my struggles or my past.
Honestly I feel bad bc I feel like whenever my friend comes over I just kinda just talk about my feelings/struggles and I can make death jokes sometimes and I just feel bad bc I feel like that’s all I do and that I might bc uncomfortable to be around but idk I’m going to try to stop all the negative talk so that I’m not only doing things so negatively.
Facts 😂 that was so mee 😅
My friends just interrupt me and make it all about themselves so cannot relate 🙃💅✨
Genius! The flippin accuracy 😂😂😂
This is so true
I wish I could talk to my therapist more easily than any of my friends.
If you can't freely talk to your therapist, you need to change therapists. What's the point otherwise 😕
What a pretty painting behind her ❤
This video is 2 years old but my first time seeing and it's hilarious 😂
Ohhh if I have friends for telling my problemas to.
I could talk to a therapist about my problems but I could only do it in english... I am german and I live in germany, My boyfriend is from the uk and we constantly speak english together, I spoke more english then german in the past year and its showing.. its hard to talk about my feelings or explain something in german bc I always think in english..
Yep I hate therapist’s. Especially those who write down every word.
I talk to my therapist and my friends the same amount during the week when Im not at therapy we are each other's therapists
This is the first session only! After 3 years in therapy it is like "with a friend" version 😅
😂😂😂 I love this!!
That’s why I hate that they diagnose you in the first session. I’m terrified of talking and opening up and the trust has to be build over time. They don’t get a good idea of what I’m dealing with within the first session
WTF THIS IS ME THOUGH 😭
I just pay to sit there in silence 😂
This is exactly how it works 😊
I just bought your book last night. Very excited to read it. Your videos have been amazing for me. Thank you 😁
Me not going to therapy because I don't even know where to begin.
It's like when they ask at a job interview to talk about myself but they would ask why I came. Like. Idk im sad and people hate me and I'm anxious about it.
Hi Dr Julie. CAN YOU MAYBE MAKE A VIDEO ABOUT HOW PEOPLE CAN MANAGE THEIR SEVERE STAGE FRIGHT.
I really wish I had a therapist I just bottle up my feelings and deal with the pain 🫥
YES. ACCURATE.
I actually had a therapist and not gonna lie I told my bffs my problems more than I did to my therapist
I agree so much! After 50 therapists, I realize all therapists suck!
It's so true my friend annoy me all the time about her problem but when it's time for checkup she became quite.
I absolutely trauma dumped my first therapy session 💀
M the other way around. Very articulate, partly coz it’s so expensive I don’t wanna waste time, partly co it’s a service unlike friends that may judge u or not understand what u r going through so very hesitant to talk about the struggles. Have always gotten severe backlash or worse reactions for opening up about emotional struggle from friends n family.
I loved this. Performance anxiety maybe? Way easier for me with a professional than friends, but I get it.
Yes I tell my friends EVERYTHING but with a therapist there’s a few problems I have to withhold
Yooooooooo relatable AF
"What do you want to talk about" "idk" 😂😂😂
My counselors name is Julie, but I just talk to people on discord abt all my problems, but to my counselor, I'm dead silent 😂
Relatable 😂
For real...I feel like it would take a lifetime for my therapist to be able to help me vs my friends where a 3 hour chat can change everything.
Tottally. 😂 They won't analyze it & will tell me similar stories & we can discuss & not feel alone.
😂 well... i do not even have friends 😅
Talking is only in my head 😅😅😅
I was talking to my friends about something that happened to me one of my friends asked if she could be the light of my world it was so sweet I actually started crying
I don’t even talk about my problems 😂😂😂
U r doing well..and Carry on it
This is sooo true!!! 😭😭🤣🤣
The reason why most people are usually like this because they're often comfortable more from their friends than there therapists
Sometimes when I go to like a councillor or smth I start talking to them but then almost start crying bc I’m always worried if I say smth wrong or bad or hurtful, like once the councillor told me she had cats and I told her she looked like a cat lady💀💀💀😭😂 I cried after I left and I will never forget that.
I think I almost feel like I have to be professional. It's hard to let loose with the therapist.
I never talk about my problems to my friends. they never care or understand
I immediately felt comfortable with my therapist and we got to things super fast. That is the first time that has been the case. I don’t know what it is about him, but he is a miracle worker, for me at least.
I love that painting behind her of the flowers. I want one!
Ha ha it's funny. Thanks for sharing. I was very comfortable during my 1st therapy session with my counsellors. They were non judgmental and very good listers. If I attempted to talk to a friend or family members they rather say their side of the story instead of listening to me for a minute and of course they label me as a loser, coward, confused nature by default etc. And I don't feel little bit of respect. Therapist are the best people to talk and support. I had a kind Therapist in my homecountry, when I was struggling without job and income she was even willing to continue the therapy over the phone during her free time and yes I was also honest about my situation and didn't take advantage out of her kindness. Once I landed a job again I went back to her formal therapy session. Big respect. Miss her so much.
Lol yep! I am though finding out that they quickly stopped listening to me and start rambling about thier problems and I ended up trying to solve their problems. Sometimes they would say Thank you afterwards.🙄🤨😊🌻
That’s why true friends are better than therapist.