Anxiety, Worry, and What-If's: Rewiring Anxiety Through Intentional Risk Assessment: Acceptable Risk
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- čas přidán 8. 12. 2020
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So here’s another of the most common questions I get on my “Rewiring the Anxious Brain” video: people ask “What if the dog bites you?”
Now in that video I was explaining how when you avoid something, it makes your anxiety go up.
But, of course, when making a video about anxiety, the anxious people watching the video are going to say "But how can I do that? What if the dog bites you?"
Many people with anxiety focus on the worst-case scenario, instead of focusing on the potential for growth and healing. And that’s because when your brain is in anxiety mode, it’s attuned to threats - it only notices and pays attention to the potential dangers around you.
It’s so easy to get wrapped up in all the “what-ifs” that you completely lose sight of your goals. Like overcoming anxiety or visiting your son who has a dog.
But there are some practical steps you can take to manage your brilliantly anxious brain instead of letting anxiety run your life.
Watch this video to learn what those are.
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Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC, and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
About Me:
I’m Emma McAdam. I’m a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and I have worked in various settings of change and growth since 2004. My experience includes juvenile corrections, adventure therapy programs, wilderness therapy programs, an eating disorder treatment center, a residential treatment center, and I currently work in an outpatient therapy clinic.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love www.churchofjesuschrist.org/c...
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As someone who struggles with anxiety, and for someone who has seen hundreds of videos and channels on anxiety and depression, I can safely say this channel tops the chart. The quality of the content is the best one out there. Thank you so much Emma, for sharing your experience and knowledge. Wish you all the best! God bless.
Thanks so much!
100% agreed!!!
I agree!
I agree.💜
Yes. I have been recommended as well.
"your life is more than avoiding fear" - LOVE this quote
The THOUGHT of doing something you don't want to do, is much harder than DOING something that you don't want to do
I like this statement it's 100% true it helps me thanks
YES!
@@Moshe.hersh.berkowitz you're welcome
Absolutely. The fear of doing the thing becomes worse than just doing the thing!
shout out jordan peterson
Also, don't blame yourself no matter the result. Life is multiple of tests and errors. Its not the end of eveything
yeah! just put your very best out there!
Be accountable for your mistakes, learn from them and move forward
I’m in that cycle of regret right now. Thanks for your comment. I’ll redirect my energy and thoughts to accepting what is and to moving forward
Thank you. I really needed to hear that this evening. I have made so many mistakes.
@@dave1927p no
Don't you just LOVE this channel?
Anxiety has been my life companion. Two years of caring for myself and an elder through Covid19 set off all my alarms and froze me. Scared all the time. Seeing danger everywhere. Twitched through 2 years of Prepping because, well, all my alarms were going off.
I fossilized out of fear. In order to fully engage in the world again, I needed a jolt, a jumpstart, gimme the paddles.
I took the biggest 24 hour chance I could manage to get that JOLT. I put on a glorious 12-pound beaded ball gown and antler crown, flew to Los Angeles (bless you Southwest for all the fun) and saw the Rammstein show with 50,000 strangers. Never did I know the power of camouflage. I'm still feeling a deep internal satisfaction that I did it, felt the fear, thought it through and did it. I did it.
Well done for feeling the fear and doing it anyway.
“it’s all about making international choices with acceptable risks.” exactly, let’s take control of our lives and lose the regrets/what ifs which only slow us down
Thank you for your videos Emma. I am 56 years old and I've let fear and anxiety run and ruin my life. I've wasted my entire life but i'm hoping to have a better future.
Me too, sadly enough
@@bwinkle2915 ❤
I am right there with you as I let the what ifs kill some dreams.
@@sussannekeith5676 ♥
Me
I'm a nurse and have recently been overcome by health anxiety. I need to get back to work but feel so triggered about being with patients. I really need help with this. Thank you for the tip to not completely avoid it but gradually get back in:)
Running works wonders for me. Push your body to release built up energy
You need to change your triggers and make each trigger more passive and calming and satisfying.
Breathing and mindfulness has been a game changer for me. Watching Emma’s videos have been so informative with things I had never heard of before. I have suffered anxiety and panic with avoidance for over 40 years. Slowly now things are settling and I’m making my way in a different manner due to understanding my body and what I can do to alter my learned behaviour. Good luck
Check out TMS Dr Sarno's book or Dan Buglio on CZcams
Your a Nurse!Hello,go to your provder.Asking someone onlie?Really,your a Nurse?
We all love you, Emma! 💞
awwwww
I have struggled with anxiety my whole life but it has recently become unmanageable and I know that everything you have said in this video is 100% true. There is no pill or therapeutic technique out there that can make the decision for me to step into the fear instead of constantly avoid it. Thank you for mentioning your own anxiety with making these videos. I am constantly saying things like "its easy for the person without anxiety to say x, y and z" It brought tears to my eyes to know that you GET IT and that this advice is sound.
"It's so easy to get wrapped up in all the what-ifs." 🌿 I love your videos, Emma! 🍃
Yay! Thank you!
Thank you for your wise words! And, on a side note, your voice calms me down 😊!
cool! thanks :)
I agree with Debbie , you have a very calming voice and a brilliant way of explains things . Thank you Emma
Yep nice voice!
I work in mental health and I've been recommending this video to my patients, but I've also felt the benefits myself! Sometimes I suffer from driving anxiety and will actively avoid driving for weeks at a time, which exacerbates the anxiety, so I really needed this video to give me a kick up the butt!
I'm suffering anxiety about driving for a month? Why? Never had an accident. I'm with you ❤️🩹
Me to what are you practicing when that moment happens
Thank you for videos Emma. I'm in an anxiety forum and I love to recommend your channel. So many people can't afford therapy, or have a preconceived notion what therapy is. You provide a good starting point for them. Your helping so many people. God bless you for your kindness.
this message its so inspiring. i suffer from anxiety since i was 18.im 37 now. and what you talk about here is what i literally go through . im going to listen to this untill it gets ingraved in my amigdala
I said the same thing when I watched this video..lol.. Now I have this video on repeat.. Gotta watch it once a week.. Thanks..
Climbing is amazing as an anxiety medication. It's both physical, so gets the heart pounding and the chemicals released, but also quite meditative. It focuses your mind on the problem at hand, and nothing else. I can honestly say, in 25 years of climbing, I've never worried about paying the bills, whilst halfway up a route.
Hahah my brain is SO extra. Thank you for shedding light on this. 🤗
👏One important step in reversing the anxiety cycle is gradually confronting feared situations. If you do this, it will lead to an improved sense of confidence, which will help reduce your anxiety and allow you to go into situations that are important to you.
Thank you very much for your comment I will use it before any situation I will read you comment. thanks again
yes.
When ever i go out my brain goes into over drive it start thinking all sorts I never was like this.
👍👍👍👍
I have never felt so understood or been supported by such logical, actionable & grounded advice. Your calm, positive, humble & non-judgmental approach feels like a safe place to grow from. You make my mountain seem like it could (one day) be just another molehill. Living with an anxiety disorder makes me feel isolated, confused, undesirable & unfixable, but your videos are a glimmer of hope. Thank you for being such a good teacher & for helping people to navigate the mysterious terrain of the human mind. What you do is so important & appreciated. 🙏🏻💕
The difference you're making in the world is not small.
I'm a teacher. Not only the tools you're giving me are making me a better one, but I'm also starting to teach the tools themselves.
I am one viewer; I reach around one hundred kids a year and will do so, fingers crossed, for another 30 years. Who knows to how many people these kids will pass on these new skills.
I don't want to worry you, but the difference you're making is in no way a small one :)
OH my lord, you just made me realise something. "when you avoid something that feels dangerous but is actually safe". That is so awakening :D
I love that you picked climbing as an example. I'm a pretty anxious person when it comes to doing things out of my comfort zone, but I'm so fascinated with climbing. I don't know why, it just seems inviting.
Climbing is an amazing physical, mental, and philosophical exercise, you should try it! Its honestly very "good" for anxiety, by helping you go through healthy anxiety and then release it.
I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS SO MUCH!
Thank you for helping me, I have been struggling with anxiety since last year. I live in fear now. I was never like this. Watching videos like this makes me feel like my emotions are real and I can get help.
You're really good at these videos. I would have never thought it caused you anxiety. I've been watching them daily and they have really helped with my anxiety and how I think 💗.
Thank you so much for making the videos you do!
I love your approach to the subject of anxiety! Take control of my life is empowering for me!! Thank you!!
You are the only person who has been able to help me after multiple therapists and so many books, videos, ect for over 15 years and you made it so simple and I finally understand that I was actually making myself worse! I wish this knowledge was widely known before but I'm so grateful for you and your videos! You are truly talented at helping people and I just wanted to say thank you ❤️
You are one of the coolest most down to earth and relatable therapist I've ever seen! Thank you for this video!
Thank you for this. I have to work hard to focus on the positive as well as the negative. I think it is a skill that can be learned. These methods do work with practice. Never give up y'all!
I’ve always had health anxiety. Since I was young. More recently in life I’ve been dealing with actual health issues and it makes me super anxious because I’m u sure what the real fears are versus the made up ones
Same. Thinking of you.
You are such an interesting, fascinating person! Thank you for letting us in your life and sharing such helpful tips!
Hi. I would like to thank you, for assisting me to overcome anxiety. I have been set free. Continue with the great work!
Thank you for reminding me I have the power and control of my thoughts! Super helpful.
Your videos have a big positive impact in my world! Thank you so much for making them!!!!
I’ve found this channel recently and I am loving it! Thank you 🙏 😍
You are so great, Emma.... I'm here cleaning the living room, and I turned you on TV to hear your voice, and you're just smiling ear to ear saying, "Today, we're in my garden...." So great.... Thank you for being you, and for helping us through this..... ❤️
You are a such a blessing! I want to thank you wholeheartedly for the videos and love you share!
as someone who is constantly thinking of the what ifs and is going through a very stressed and busy few months which makes the thoughts worse , i feel seen cause within the first 2 minutes you said everything that i felt and i didnt feel crazy anymore. I think im crying tears of joy because ofc this happen at 11:30 pm on a school night which makes it all the worse but i really appreciate this.
Thank you for all that you do. I don’t think you can ever fully know the difference you make.
You're amazing!!! Thank you so so much, my best subscription of the year!
Really, good, encouraging talk! I'm so impressed that you are afraid of heights and still enjoy rock-climbing!
Thank you again!
Nothing better than walk up Saturday morning and watch your video.
🙏🙏 Thank you
Thank you
I love the risk of a bee sting. :) This is such an awesome video. My mind does get caught up in the what ifs.
All I can say is "Love you for this video" It may potentially change my life for better & for ever. Thanks a ton.. May God bless you.
Im glad that u are making these videos, u are helping see the light. Thank so much. Please continue the videos.
A MOST helpful video here. I am struggling with the notion of driving in a big city, going cross country to be with someone. Thank you for this video!
For people who struggle with chronic anxiety due to constant triggers from the same few sources, it is very very good idea to shift your location away from the place where those triggers arise for a while. If that is possible.
If you're job is the source, try finding a new job. If your neighbourhood and people there are the source, change the neighbourhood for some time. If your studies are the source, then, if possible change the course for a short while.
This temporary change let's your brain get a breather and a real perspective on what is real and what is imagined. When you move away from the triggers of your anxiety, you can identify exactly what is the real part of the danger, what is the perceived part and you can do this peacefully in the absence of the perceived danger.
However, if you cannot distance yourself, the best remaining option is to go crazy and face your fears.
Often you find that there are no real dangers where you perceived them to be.
Finally, there is a universal fact - there is no remedy for misfortune. If it has to strike, it will whenever it does. If you live in fear of everything going wrong, well, those things will go wrong AND you will have lived in fear when they had not yet gone wrong. So the best way to handle misfortune or bad luck is to be happy as much as you can and only suffer just as much as is unavoidable.
Your Garden is Beautiful Emma! Getting motivated to unpack and declutter!
Thank You Emma. You make a "Big" positive difference!
I cannot express my gratitude for you in words...please know i'm indebted to you.
Thank you Emma for everything you do!
Your content is brilliant. The best on CZcams by far. So insightful and helpful. You are amazing.! 😊
Thank you Emma, this has been really helpful. I enjoy your videos very much. I loved the atmospheric lighting...very pretty. 😊😘
oooh that's awesome. I almost didn't publish this video because of the lighting haha
I’m definitely finding your videos helpful. Thank you Emma!
A work colleague, a couple of years back, encouraged me to focus more upon choosing 'what's right for you' as compared to always putting myself last in the hierarchy of choices. I've tried to enable that approach since then.
In this talk, I found the use of 'statistical outcomes' as a decision/choice enhancing tool to be really helpful. :)
Love that!
I hope everyone can one day completely overcome unnecessary anxiety. Its so hard to do but I am sure it can be done. Thanks for your video!
Also your example of "am I going to get covid from my groceries". I was thinking should I clean my groceries??? Like use a lysol wipe on everything and then wash fruit with soap and water? Then I thought I cant do this to myself, I am going to make myself crazy.
Ty for taking the time and effort for us, we need more ppl like you in this world, I really enjoy your videos. ❤️😉❤️😉❤️
I just discovered your channel. Well done video. You are clear about anxiety. Many of my clients suffer from PTSD, Trauma and Anxiety. Your video helped me with ideas to use on my clients.
And....we are totally twins! I also minored in Parks & Rec. and a rock climber. And I too am scared of heights; that’s why I started to climb.
You are the younger version of myself! Lol! Totally weird!
Thanx for the video.
Well done and useful info.
Thank you so much for putting up all this information, seen a couple videos now and it definitely very helpful, I undesrtand myself and how I can have a healthier relationship with me☺️
Personally I have to accept my fear to success, I know where this limiting belief comes from but, yes, I'm missing out of a lot of things because this irrational way lf thinking. Everything I've lived or my family is just a lesson, I accept the level of risk that comes with success and compromise to live it responsable and conscious way. Thank you so much! God bless you❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Good to see you again. My anxiety is a pretty small part of my life now thanks to great professionals like you.
Which mine was small in my life
Wow... to be honest ..there is something I've been needing to face for the past 12 years of my life..I can't say what it is but rationally its such a stupid thing but emotionally its been torture..I have chronic anxiety because of it and I have basically cut myself off from my family because of it...I miss out on events and even avoid social situations because of it.... but this video has really inspired me to do something about it...I can't live my life in fear of what might happen while missing out on what could be the most important part of my life... it however does have something to do with unresolved ptsd ..but anyway..thank you for this video..its gonna be hard ..but its the only way for me to break free from this circuitous route of anxiety and avoidance..I thank
Me you together really you can't live all the time in fear if this and if that one step at a time im sure i will get there
I have batteling agorapobia (panic attacks were never mentiond to me when i went trough all checkings for "what is wrong with me" and i left thinking i have some desease unknown to croatian doctors) and usually,my "symptoms" started being unbearable trough fall and winter..and now.. I started to go out, and tbh, this woman helped me so much i can only pray to God He bless her, but i still have huge anxiety and flashbacks of hospitals as soon as summer pass by. If anyone have gone trough sth similar, i would appreciate your experience of how you delt with it. GB
I love this video, so helpful I promise you, I watch this video once a week.. Thanks for all you do.. You are a Godsend ... You are helping a lot of people... Thanks...
Emma, can you make a video dedicated to Covid anxiety in light of delta variant amidst society (schools, businesses) opening up more? How to live with more risk than you feel is safe?
Thank you, this is v helpful. This week I have been experiencing a lot of anxiety with work. It started off with me questioning some advice that I have during a call, to the extent that I was worrying afterwards. I think this set the tone for the rest of the week, and I was having difficulty sleeping. I had a good night sleep last night but I’m still waking up worrying about different things, and it has led to a change in my behaviour also e.g, eating more, watching lots things to distract my mind.
rough week! I would spend time writing or diagramming your worries...something about getting them on paper can help your brain work through them.
@@TherapyinaNutshell thank you I will write my worries down and break things down to get more out of my head.
I love your veg garden Emma! And you do make a positive difference in this gal's life.
I feel like the topics and examples you chose were straight from my life. I was a dog lover till I was five and I was cornered and viciously barked and snapped at for a few minutes by two escaped Dobermans. They even were yanking at my uniform skirt. My sister and my mom saved me, but I was on my way to school at the time, and I was shaking so much after the near attack that I couldn't go that day. I'm reminded of your video with the polar bear that was tranquilized and traumatized, but shook off his trauma and then went about his business. I'll bet he never got near a helicopter again though.
Luckily, when I was visiting at my cousins' place, I got to meet their Golden Retriever puppy. Who could be scared of a Golden puppy, right? Well I was because my parents, young and very new at parenting as they were, didn't know to help me get over my new fear of dogs. Luckily my uncle is a very empathetic and kind man, and he saw that I was terrified of his puppy. So he spent an hour with me, slowly getting me used to the Golden - exposer therapy, right? And at the end of an hour I was rolling around on the ground with her, walking her on her lead, and just loving every minute of it since I really do adore dogs. Now my hubby and I have three dogs, and we don't ever want to revert to a life without them. There is risk, and sometimes problems as two of our dogs are dog reactive to other dogs outside the pack. But it's worth the extra effort it demands.
And climbing - in another life I was like you, a safety conscious climber. I strangely love heights, and I agree with you that there are so many wonderful benefits to climbing. Though the climbing that I did was the result of my own risk assessment, even though I didn't quite call it that then.
Thanks so much for the video - this is a really useful and meaningful way to choose and assess risks.
I appreciate you sharing your own experiences
Thank you for your videos! I’ve found your work incredibly helpful
I'm so glad!
I have situational anxiety, that makes me always ask what if i have a panic attack and embarrass myself. My anxiety sparks when im "stuck" waiting in lines, people being in my car, drive thrus...ughhh i want to get through this.
I thought I was the only one.
@@catherinewalker9440 right here with you ❤ im getting much better
@@tonyakay9731 I've had the same ever since my very first PA. Although I've only had one other one that wasn't as bad in almost 3 years, I think about it whenever I'm somewhere where leaving would be restricted. the book the untethered soul and Meditations by Marcus Aurelius helped, but what did it for you?
Appreciate your inputs. Thanks for these valuable points.
The way you explaining is very understandable and clear, thank you very much for the valuable lessons 🙏
Therapy in a Nutshell. My humble opinion, your videos make a big difference. Bravo to you for putting this out there even though it makes you anxious. I am working on getting stronger and being able to do more of the things that scare me which after 15 years of dealing with this is a lot. Lol.
There's nothing wrong, or worse than expectations which are somehow like they're not gonna happen; and most of the time the real problem is right insede and hid on the deepest parts of our BEINGS.
Your work is great 👏👏👏
LOL I was wondering how you got the cool lighting effect!! Lighting gives me anxiety when making CZcams videos for my channel! But you are so right in that facing it disempowers it!
yeah, I almost didn't post this video (I recorded it in July) because of the weird lighting, but I decided it was worth it to publish it.
Facing your fear gonna remove you anxiety!!.. thanks a lot for sharing
I'd say if a dog is known to be somewhat aggressive or unpredictable, keep your distance. I was attacked by a dog a few years ago - I was entering the dog's home and it was known that this dog had issues. I didn't go into the situation with anxiety, even though I struggle with anxious thoughts. I love dogs, my best friend of 14 years was my dog, but this attack definitely made me more cautious. I started asking the owners if their dog was friendly before approaching. Luckily the situation only left me with a scar - it didn't create crippling anxiety. But I can totally identify with how avoidance and anxiety can make your world very small and limited. It's worth it to do the work to get ahead of it.
Your videos do make a difference, please keep them coming. 🤗
Love all your videos. This was very helpful.
Thank you. Your explanations really help.
I love your videos 💗
Thank you so much for doing them 👏
I felt very anxious after I had kids... I was thinking all the time what if I go outside and someone kidnaps my baby, I spent 10 years with what ifs I hurt myself isolated and I hurt my family with my constant anxiety. Finally after 10 years I looked for help and I'm doing more and more stuff, I finally knowing more people and feeling at home here in the U.S.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR VIDEOS!
Life changing content. Thank you so much
Love the video’s!! I have been struggling something terrible now terrified to leave the house due to anxiety and ibs and I’ve been trying things here and there but I feel helpless and powerless over my body.
Check out Dr Sarno's book on TMS or and Dan Buglio on CZcams
You rock!! Thank you for your videos!
I am absolutely a catastrophic thinker ... when going outside where people are .... I like your climbing risk assessment ... very clear .... I just need to use it in many other social anxiety occasions as I can .. thanks
glad it could be helpful
i think i'll only do free soloing crawling on the ground.
the sun actually created a cool effect on the evolution of the video throughout
great video, with lots of personal examples!
I like your videos. They are not too long and concise
Ironically, I was actually almost bitten by a dog when I was three. I was afraid of dogs for a few years after that; but 30 years later, I’ve never had another problem with a dog. I even really like them.
Very good advice. We all have the ability to learn and grow and overcome our fears. I believe positive energy is the way forward. The world needs more positive energy. Thank you. 🙂
Thank you for this. Your videos are awesome!
Great video (my therapist assigned it as homework). As a dog trainer, here's what I recommend for people who are afraid of dogs. Check your local library to see if they have a therapy dog that visits. They are SUPER CHILL dogs who are trained to sit or lay down next to kids so the kid can read stories to them. It builds the kid's confidence in their reading (because a dog is patient while you sound out words and won't correct you if you're wrong). But for adults who are afraid of dogs, you are guaranteed to have a dog that has been temperament tested and will hang out by your side and not interact with you unless you want it to.
This is a very helpful video. Thank you!
Well done. Thank you!
I like the lighting effect, it has something ethereal :)
Of all the psychology videos these are sincerely the best.
Hi Emma, just want to say thank you for this wonderful video. I've been struggling with my academic and choices I need to choose. These words means a lot to me in this hard times. Once again thank you 🤍
Thank u ema it encourage me to face my what if and deperation , 🙏
You're amazing Emma❤❤
Wow I needed this tremendously!!!!