Husband Slept With His Ex AND Wants Me to Be Friends With Her!
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- čas přidán 16. 02. 2021
- Husband Slept With His Ex AND Wants Me to Be Friends With Her!
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You don't get over it. You leave him. That level of disrespect is unforgettable.
THANK YOUUU!! I was thinking the same thing. There is NO WAY, i'd be sitting down and trying to "befriend" a woman like that. You can still be an adult by keeping your peace and staying away from this toxic environment.
This exactly! He'll cheat again because she stayed after he cheated.
This is the problem with women:
Woman with hot Alpha Male - He is cheating on me with his ex, sally, suzy, and all the girls at work and wants us to be friends. Should I leave or give him a 149th chance?
Woman with the other 80% of men who will treat them well - Eww, he is gross.
Take your pick ladies.
@@user-gy1st6gn4j How do you know what I know? Why is it OK for you to offer your opinion and not me?
I wanted to write this but I didn’t want to be mean.
Don’t get involved with someone that has more then one kid with multiple partners
How does someone have one kid with multiple partners?
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
@@dewilew2137 they have sex in both ends
Do not get involve with single mother or fathers.
Getting with a divorce person increase divorce probability by +50%
Don't get involved with someone that has multiple kids from different people. No one wants your bullshit baggage. If you can't figure it out on the 3rd or 4th time just stop. Take care of your kids
Basically, husband gets away with it, and she is reduced to having to behave like a Sister Wife. Nope.
And he will do it again.
😫
💯
The fact that he even suggested they be friends tells me he's a complete narcissist. There's no way he can betray her at this level and expect her to befriend her own enemy. Only a narcissist would do that.
What’s wrong with that!!??
The first mistake is marrying this guy, the second is staying married to this guy. She’ll be a lot less stressed on her own.
People need to learn to stop rushing marriages. Its not healthy at all, a year down the line your partner shows a differen't perosnality that you didn't know they had.
The first mistake was dating a married man
First mistake - marrying this man
Second mistake - having a child with this man
Third mistake - staying with this man
💯
Water seeks its own level there's so much crazy going on here it's hard to even think about it
“I like things to be stable” marries guy that has 2 kids from different people
Three kids ..three baby mommas.
😂😂
@@susieq8008 she is the 3rd baby momma though
I deal with one baby mama and it is enough! It’s only bearable because my husbands boys are older teenagers. I can tell you if they were young and I had to deal with 18 years of that I’d lose my mind!
The irony of it all
If the husband wanted his wife to be friendly with his ex so the kids don't feel the tension, he should not have cheated with his ex. Period. What a selfis scumbag. To cheat on the wife & then expect her to be ok & friendly with the cheating partner is just disgustingly selfish & vile.
He has a lot of nerve wanting his wife to be friends with the ex he cheated with 🤨
H to the no!
It's more common than you might think. At my best friend's house, the girlfriend turned mistress turned new wife and mother of half brother was over for Christmas every year.
@L Cam Well, I assume she decided that the father (and later half-brother as well) being involved in her son's life and the rituals of the family holidays were worth more than whatever pain or pride she faced.
@@yamamancha
For all the reasons he gave to the caller in the video.
Entitled to the max
Can you imagine telling your spouse that they have to be friends with the person they cheated on you with.... lol This guy sounds awesome. She needs to come to terms with the fact that she created a life with a loser.
You didn’t mention that he has three kids with three different women! Married or not, he’s not a keeper! Imagine a woman who parented 4 children by three different woman and another man?! We would be dragging that woman in the comments section.
Did this caller admit that she took him from the ex with whom he cheated? "If he cheats WITH you, he'll cheat ON you.".
I did not hear that. A short Yes when Dr. D makes a lot of points and one is that the ex might feel like she took him from her. (and the assumption that she does not want to sit down with a woman taht is angry at her).
Being angry does not mean: justified anger.
And after 5 years and the duty ! to co-parent - the ex must be fairly immature, too.
I know of a case where the woman broke up, he had a few flings and after that the the next gf - and THEN the ex went ballistic. It was not so much that she wanted him - but another woman also should not have him.
The flings did not trigger her, but his first more serious relationship did. (I know that the new gf was not in the picture earlier, crazy ex did not ever claim that. Crazy ex is an attractive woman so she could have her pick of flings or serious relationships if she wanted).
Well ... they had one of those INTENSE but wild relationships. She / they certainly felt a connection they had been together for at least 7 years and also had a child together.
But in the end it was good they broke up (that she ended it, or at least she gave the impression, it may have been mutual, she was just more dramatic and vocal about it) - and it drove her nuts to see him with another woman.
Her "jealousy" was no indicator that new gf had done anything to undermine the relationship. (it did not hold anyway. Crazy ex then went on to make snide remarks about his next partner ... Could hardly hold it in in the presence of the child that was also co-parented by the new partner, she stayed over weekends etc.)
Xyz Same, that's a hot mess of several situations! You know, I can't help but think a lot of this kind of stuff could be avoided if people exercised some self-control and acted more like adults. Also, it seems as though commitment is too relative a term to people in relationships - marriage or otherwise.
In the case of the caller (and as you shared in your comment about the person you know), not only were physical boundaries violated, but also emotional ones. It's terrible that private, personal information was shared to the ex about the current wife. I think I'd be more betrayed by that than the physical.
Thank you for clarifying the info about the caller. Dr. John made a good point.
Or re-cheat with the women he cheated on.
We don't know, he could have had other women in between
I didn’t remarry after my divorce, but if I had chosen to, it would not have been to someone with kids. Too much drama.
Had sympathy until I found out she “took” him from the ex to begin with. Neither of you have integrity 🤷🏽♀️
Agree!
@@Jaiem_ i get it. But you shouldn’t be messing with a man that’s taken
Right!! How bizarre.
You get what you give. She was prideful.
Zero sympathy for this side chick.
Man should not raise someone else’s kids. Its like taking someone else’s responsibility.
“ Just one time “ oh honey it’s never just one time
Right? Probably just about as common as an ant 🐜 invasion of one!
It's never one time - for men or women.
"just the tip" -it's never just the tip. --I don't believe I just said that!
I agree it’s not common but there are times where it was a one time mistake. And couples move on without you were very healthy committed relationship. It’s not easy but it does happen. But again I agree depending on the circumstances it’s not common. Like abuse there’s almost never one victim.
Fact
This woman is very tolerant. Infidelity is a deal breaker in my marriage. I love my husband. I love myself more. As a man if you don't care about my feelings, you don't deserve me. If I'm in 💯 in a relationship, marriage, life partnership, I expect the same in return.
Amen sis!
Some people slip up though. Giving them one chance is reasonable if they really work on fixing their mistake and are repentant. But I agree on what you said if they are serial cheaters.
@@blondegiraffe2023 the husband had an affair with his ex-girlfriend and still keeps this other woman in his life and expects his wife to be friends with her? I hope this woman found a competent divorce attorney and left him.
@@blondegiraffe2023 Slip up ? It's always a choice if someone decides to cheat. Too many people are tolerant of this terrible behaviour...
Imho, it's a big fat no in my book.
@@blondegiraffe2023 a slip up is oops I bought something but didn't tell you, I could have said something better, etc etc not I had a whole relationship with someone else while married nah
In my book you cheat, you're out. Done. No discussion.
I got rid of my husband..26 years I did not care.
@@LisaLisaCJ that's scary for me, a young adult, to hear. I'm sorry you went through that.. I cant believe 26 years and he still cheated.. How do i find someone that wont cheat?! How could someone cheat 26 years down the line?!
Before my parents married, my mom told my dad, right up front, "If ever you cheat on me, she can have you."
Thankfully, it's been 50 years with no infidelities.
@@grafando I think there's always warning signs that people try to ignore. Deep down they might know something is wrong, but they don't want to believe it.
@@grafando I think if you're upfront about it from the beginning & communicate consistently in general you'll be okay. Obviously if there's no warning signs. Usually if you have a negative gut feeling, it's probably a good idea to listen to it. I learned that the hard way with a cheating ex. My next boyfriend turned into my husband. Been together almost 10 years. ♡
She is definitely in her right to say no to a friendship. Hubby needs to respect that. He needs to drop it.
Totally agree. The caller is in therapy and that should be her priority right now. If/when she's ready to cope with the husband's ex, she should do so on her terms.
Right. It's his fault and his exes fault that there's an issue. They created that.
Exactly. Given that he cheated on her, he has no right to require ANYTHING from her.
Girl, run. He doesn't respect you. And you can't fix that.
I thought the same thing! Cut your losses and run sis! It's not about the woman. It's about her cheating, entitled husband!
If she had any self respect, she wouldn't marry him or if unfortunately she married, a year ago when he cheated, she would leave. She is a doormat.
She doesn't respect herself.
I'm gonna need a flowchart to understand.
😂😂😂😂Good one
A hustle n’ flowchart...
I had to pull out my graphing calculator just to solve this whole equation.
Could I have a look at that flowchart once you're done?😄
🤣🤣🤣
Two minutes into this, and I'm wondering where Delony finds these callers?!? This is straight up Jerry Springer stuff right here!
I came for the train wreck, and decided, you know what, I don't have the emotional space for this.
You chose wisely.
“ I am a control freak. “
~Has no control over anything
Codependent
Exactly
she misinterprets control anxiety with control freak. She feels that he is not loyal to her and part of him is outside the marriage and thinks thats on her that she constantly wants to get him back into the fold
Leave him! Oh my goodness. If you don't leave him you will absolutely regret it. I stayed with a cheating ex and he had an affair the entire marriage. Don't do that to yourself. He will continue to cheat.
Please dont project
@@thembisaodendaal please don’t be in denial 🙄
Yes because once a cheater knows you will stay, they WILL do it again. They will do it better and with more confidence. Maybe not at first but you can bet your ass they’re cheating again. They get a rush from it. It’s addicting to them. They have something off in their brain.
Isn't that what YOU are doing?@@thembisaodendaal
I guess I'm old school... but in my opinion if you "make a mistake" and cheat... that's it. marriage over. no coming back, no forgiveness, no working through it. you made a conscious choice and broke those vows, i'll just hold you to it.
I couldn't do it. I would want a divorce immediately. I have anger issues, and this would light a fire in me like dragon's blood. I'd be ready to kill. Best case scenario, he would be a divorced, sole custody parent in less than 6 months and I would retire myself to an island for a few months until I figured out my next move.
@@blackheartcardigan "divorced, sole custody parent"? You would leave your kids with the cheating ex?
@@AmaMar88 I would! No shame in needing to take care of yourself in order to take care of kids.. & cheating doesn’t mean you can’t be a parent.
A mistake is buying the wrong brand of coffee 😂 Cheating consists of many selfish choices… the contact, the conversations, meeting up, etc… the cheater should put that energy into their spouse instead of cheating
She really be shocked when she finds out the ex is pregnant lol
Nope, it’s already been a year.
@@FlaNative3 He will cheat again 100%. He keeps leaving his women, why would he stop what he's been doing his whole life?
Probably sleeping with all his ex
Wait he has 3 children with 3 different women? I would never date a man like that
2 children with 2 different women and one with the caller who he is married to .
That’s three with three women. 🙄.
He wants them to be friends so that the next time he cheats on her with the baby momma he can pit them against each other
The way I see it, they ask her to carry the weight of their mistake for the sake of the kids.
"You know, if you don't put on a brave face the kids will suffer, and that will be your fault."
Yeah, that’s like, “ here’s your shoes back I didn’t ask to borrow, I stepped in dog poop-grab that shovel and head into my backyard and start picking it up”.
So, if she can’t be an “adult” and pay for brunch, share her deepest fears with the ex, she’s the failure? It’s all on her if they divorce??
Was she the actual woman he cheated on the ex-wife with? Is that why the ex didn’t apologize, and John said the wife doesn’t need to apologize but be the first to start again?
And the husband needs to “stop, stop, stop…3 mommas…hard job (totally agree) go get help you need”. I know John isn’t talking to the husband but geez. The wife needs therapy.
It sounds like it’s all the wife’s problem. The husband made the mess, but if she is told by her husband and a therapist to fix the problem by offering forgiveness without really believing or wanting to, the blowup will be worse than not meeting for lunch, and keeping her distance from the ex. She should look at the Ex who is getting off the hook sleeping with exs and the baby mommas are supposed to make it all be smooth. If he is sharing intimate details with the ex, it should show you the self centered man he is. If you cannot move past this affair by being the “adult” leave. Your anger and hurt will still be there when she or he are not in the house with you.
The brave face ( and lots of palling around ) he's asking for ...is really saying you have to bow to the other woman , nothing less .
And what's worse, Delony is doing the same here!
Hubby is not content to just impregnate 3 different women and create a mess of a family, he has to go and have affairs on his current wife - just to complete the mess. Then demand his current wife be ok with it and make friends with his affair partner.
What a selfish piece of crap.
The only reason the husband wants these two women to get along is because he still has feelings for the other women! If it doesn't sit well with anyone then it's gotta end.
BINGO!
He wants them to be friends because he thinks that will get him off the hook for his cheating and make him more comfortable.
He just wants easier access to his ex for sex.
So he can do it again in hopes that it turns into a threescore. The ex is apparently unrepentant and hopes to win him back.
The wife has no obligation to interact with the ex.
I disagree about her having to interact normally with this ex. She is well within her right to say however much she wants to her or as little, no matter what event. She doesn't have to be hostile to this woman but she shouldn't have to be friends with her.
Polite + bare minimum communication, ok.
Any expectation or hope of being "friends"? 😂😡❌️
My 1st hubby stayed w/ the lady he cheated on me w/ and helped raise her 3 kids, while ignoring ours. I never talked to that lady, ever. Not one word. Why would I want to be friends w/ the next one? The only reason he wants then to be friends, is so he can keep sleeping with both, and she wants to be friends, to have access to him, & punish the new girl. Nope.
"one of our childrens moms"...
I sympathize but.. pretty nasty if you ask me.
A phrase I will never have to speak.
Hahahah
@L Cam I thought the same
Lol
This is a nightmare, too many co parents
A dumpster fire 🔥
"He didn't try to hide it " he told me a week later 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Dr. John. I always hear you tell people when you finish counseling them to call you later and to give you an update. I would love to hear some updated shows.
me 2.....he shud have a segment specifically for updates.
Yes!
Came here to write this comment
This is not her problem! This is her freaking husband's problem!!! He needs to man up, beg her forgiveness and swear to her that except for discussing drop-off and pick-up times for the kids he will never speak to his ex again. If he's not willing to do that, she needs to leave his sorry butt!
Damn, some of the things he advised made me sick! You don't confess your deepest insecurities and get emotionally naked with a person that not only violated your trust but is absolutely unapologetic about it. It's clear she doesn't give a damn about her feelings. To advise Offering her heart to that woman on a silver platter for her to devour is just mind blowing to me. Yes, have a conversation but not reward them with the respect and consideration no one is giving to her in this whole thing.
Yes say "however it happened you both violated my trust and I need your understanding and some space to heal. We'll be civil and respectful and will happily celebrate our children together when the times come but we will not be friends and you will have to build trust if you want a relationship with me"
Idk, I felt like John here was asking way too much from that poor woman.
I totally agree. I was shocked he advised her to be so openly vulnerable to someone who’s treated her so terribly and doesn’t seem remorseful. I think that’s a terrible idea. Also, the advice to tell friends they trust about this situation. No, and no.
He was totally off base on this one. He gave this woman psychologically dangerous, really unprofessional advice.
John, put all responsibilities on this poor woman, and none on the cheating husband and his ex. I hope she didn’t follow his advice. John’s advice will make her more of doormat in their eyes and it will be a never ending cycle for her. That’s not what you teach kids anyway. Stand up for yourself, stand by your principles, value and respect yourself, don’t let people run all over you, is what you teach kids.
I've known several losers like that. Knocking up every woman that lets them & telling the next gal that it will be different this time. It's so sad. The dad doesn't care enough about his kids to keep it in his pants.
If he's a loser, what's it make the women that choose to sleep and procreate with him?
@@rickdeckard4735 He's a cop. 🥰
@@rickdeckard4735 , the same 😑
@@rickdeckard4735 Unknowingly? Naive. Knowingly? Delusional.
@@intuitive_duck you sound like you've gotten knocked up by a couple of these guys yourself.
Girl...LEAVE!
Absolutely. Doesn’t matter if it never happens again, that kind of thing will stick in the back of your mind for the rest of your life. It’ll always leave you wondering, the trust is gone for life.
In Utah we call similar living situation the sister-wives compound.
Lol
There are lots of divorced families that don’t do birthday parties together. She should be able to be polite during drop off and relay important info with each other but otherwise they don’t need to interact.
Yes 👏 to 👏 this 👏
EXACTLY! She is allowed to have boundaries and he's uncomfortable with that!!
Agree
Don't forget y'all... This man is a detective yet he has horrible morals and integrity.
Agreed. It’s very sad for the people he is supposed to serve and protect:(
It's very common among police officers, who have one of the highest divorce rates as well as a very high rate of spousal abuse, also.
the way she talks about herself like she's a control freak has me thinking that's his gaslighting speaking
wait ... she stole her man and is now mad he cheated again and that the ex jumped on the opportunity?? bless her heart
And the advise is to sit down with her and go “you hurt me and I’m insecure”. So admit weakness to the enemy? Nonono 😬
Yep. I think you are correct!
I hope she took a deep breath, looked herself in the mirror, and saw a woman who can do a whole lot better and be a whole lot happier by herself. She's so worth having peace and happiness. Kick him to the curb and don't look back. I know...easier said than done but imagine a brighter future. I hope she puts herself and her children first. Leave him with all his other baby's mommas.
This is terrible advice that puts all the blame on the husband. She chose this guy and married this mess and shouldn’t be surprised he cheated. If she leaves she needs to remain single because she has terrible judgment. I suspect many people advised her not to get involved with this mess and she chose to anyway. Take responsibility for your own bad decisions.
@@Rebecca-ci3zc She didn't marry him with the understanding that he would cheat in their relationship too. And is absolutely not obliged to stay with him after this.
I was in a long term relationship I believed to be strong and loving. He cheated and although I tried to forgive, I couldn’t forget the betrayal. I never got the trust back, the pain would hit me at the weirdest moments. He then got a diagnoses of Parkinson’s and then Multiple Myeloma…I felt trapped in a relationship that I felt was broken. I couldn’t leave him because of his illnesses and became his sole support and care giver. He even cheated on me from his hospital bed, while I was the one doing his daily baths and care (I am an RN and he wanted me to do it) and spending hours a day at the hospital for over 2 months…all the while he was cheating. My life has been on hold for over 4 years. I think that there needs to be consequences in life, and finally I mustered the strength to leave him despite the fact he is still profoundly ill. He was disrespecting me, and illness doesn’t give him that right…I finally put an end to it.
So another woman had her fun with him while you took over all the workload... That makes my blood boil. I hope you dumped him the minute you found out about this.
Well done
How did he cheat on you, if he's in a hospital getting care, or bedridden & needs you caring for him & giving baths? He has such a big weeny, the ladies just like up to come over & jump on it, although he's bedridden & dying? Something smells fishy.
@@mariatorres9789 he was sexting 2 women, making dates for when he was released, and I have the receipts, copies of the hundreds of texts. I could hardly believe it my self because for a few days it looked like he was dying, and he had the energy to do that. It is cheating when you are loving on other women while your actual woman is basically your slave. You aren’t that dense that you think cheating only involves the sex act, are you?
Such a big weeny ? 😂 omg I'm dying
His ex obviously still has feelings for him. That is why she is not remorseful. There is a real danger of it happening again. That is going to take so long to get over. And I would not want anything to do with her either.
Some people just love the drama and live in conflict there whole life.
Yes, people who have drama in their life invited it, it doesn’t just find them.
Their whole life....
To all you callers out there, you'd be surprised how much easier it is to hear you when you speak directly into the phone.
What was barely touched on....... And should be highlighted.... You are teaching your children how they should expect to be treated by their partners, or how they should treat their partners. Something to think about....... Could mean you separating, or being together......
"Have a boundaries conversation and determine what is just between the two of you."
Well, let's start with his genitals.....
😂😂😂😂😂 boom
ROFLMAO
Seriously, a little late for the "do you understand the boundaries?"conversation.😂
😂
I always thought genitals were implied in boundary conversations!
What is this huge drive in people to breed with every person they are with?! 🤷🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
THIS 🎯
I just had to pause the video around 1:14 to catch my breath with all the kids being mentioned from his previous relationship and hers. I really do not want to end up like that.
Don't worry you won't. Smart lady!
You don't have to "end up" like that; these folks make bad choices, and the mess they currently find themselves in is the sum total of the bad choices they've made, and will inevitably keep making, throughout their lives.
I would prefer being involved with No one compared to that situation.
He's gonna do it again
Wouldn't that just be the cherry on top of the sundae if he impregnated one of his other baby-mamas again 😂
100%
@@calebmallen if she stays that’s going to happen.
This guy has watched one too many episodes of Sister Wives.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
For sure!!! LOL
Sister what？
@@Melly16yr10 polygamy
Why would anyone stay with a cheater? Once a cheater, always a cheater. And, disclosing her confidences...that's like a second affair--maybe worse! It's like Sister Wives without the initial agreement to share. Good luck, Wendy, I hope you work it all out.
I agree. And disclosing confidences is a form of cheating too, isn't it? Cheaters usually have an ego problem, I believe
4 kids with 5 biological parents... yikes.
He needs as vasectomy ASAP
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
My nephew has the same situation, but reversed. He has a child from a previous relationship, his wife has two children each with different fathers, and they have one child together. Yikes!
The audacity of the guy to expect his current wife to be friends with the baby mama he slept & shared personal info with. WTF
I made it to 6:40 and had to bail. Best of luck to all involved, glad I know how to keep my pencil in my pocket.
nope, not happening. I hope she can get peace with the situation, but I would leave immediately. I hope she can love herself enough to not settle.
Moral of the story, don't get into a relationship with someone with baggage!
What is baggage?
As you get older, you'll meet a lot more people with 'baggage'. Just be honest about your situation and the right person will love you.
I agree. Dating someone w/ kids that aren't yours is the worst
@@Gabster1990 , it's not so much the children that are the baggage, as much as the ex lover that brings drama into your life.
I've known too many people who have nothing but problems with their spouse's toxic past relationships constantly resurfacing.
Agreed, don't date women over the age of 22.
This is a disaster. That husband is a cheater and there is no way he cheated only once.
These poor children.
Sadly, the children are the ultimate victims when folks like this start procreating with each other 🙄
Not a family forest. More like family pricker bush. All wire-y, tangled, confusing, painful, and cursed because of sin.
She is upset with the ex instead of her husband she needs to be upset more with him - crazy situation for her. Who knows what they are feeling
This guy sounds soooo toxic! He's emotionally manipulating all of them : ( HE wants HER to fix the problem that HE caused?? I hope therapy helps her to find a way out of this marriage.
She is allowed to have boundaries ESPECIALLY while in pain and he wants her to make him more comfortable instead. What a loser.
So him and the ex basically destroyed any chance they have to work together for the kids because they had an affair.
Once again the burden falls on the betrayed spouse. That’s the way it goes. Healing is hard and yes, it takes great maturity. I think Dr John is correct, but the extreme vulnerability it requires from the caller is a hard ask. Peace is the goal here. I hope Wendy grows through this experience. God bless her. So much respect for her.
It really sucks but I understand that it’s an unfortunate outcome if you’ve made that decision to stay in the relationship. I don’t think you stay and then not fully invest in the relationship because it you can’t fully invest then to me that’s as clear a sign you could have to move on and I really wish she would.
Everyone on here blames the spouse and gives her a pat on the back. Remember she chose this, she married this guy knowing he had 2 children with 2 different women and then went on to have a third with her. If she was smart she would’ve avoided him like the plague from the begging. She lacks discernment and needs to take responsibility for her stupid decision to marry this guy and put her children in this mess.
How would he like if this woman did the same thing with her ex? It’s almost like he’s trying to set up triangles!
I think he would just laugh and move on to the next one
You are probably right.
That was my first thought. She needs to ask herself what his response would be. He would leave like a supernova outta that galaxy if the situation were reversed. She should tell him to pack imo!
Yeah. That’s terrible for him to do that to his wife.
He sounds like a winner.
Agreed hes got women lining up around the block for him
I'm guessing he's probably over 9" or just never uses protection. Or both
Winner for like two minutes. That’s how they trap them
@@georgev3320 lol you sound like a child.
Blended families can be horrible if the parties involved doesn’t respect boundaries
John dropped the ball on this one. He doesn’t point out it wasn’t up to baby mamma to respect the marriage. It was up to her husband. But it’s always easier to blame the woman and focus on what she could have done differently right?
I’m starting to be VERY disappointed with the advice this man gives sometimes. I’m pissed that he criticized her for potentially bringing this back up in the future, but didn’t mention anything about the more likely scenario where this man cheats again with the same woman or a different woman.
I concur
Opinions can differ but what he said about bringing this up in the future didn’t come across as a criticism to me and unfortunately is realistic advice. Both of these things hinge on her choosing to stay with him. When he says if she decides to stay with him and he’s working on changing himself and is succeeding with that then it wouldn’t be right to hang this over his head in three years and that’s completely fair as much as it sucks. If her husband has mistreated her how he did but she has chosen to forgive him and stay with him then it isn’t a fair thing to keep this around to weaponize in the future.
When that is said that by no means says that he’s excused for what he did or that it was ok which he clearly states. But it’s the choice you’ve made if you’re choosing to stay because if you’ve decided to forgive and he actually has changed then selectively using the mistakes of the past that he’s moved past as a weapon is not the right thing to do. If you’re going to stay and forgive you choose to give up using these events or take the better choice and leave him because what he did was wrong and he doesn’t deserve her. He also mentions in the video the issues of his actions and the man he is and frankly choosing to stay with him does run the risk that he cheats again and that’s what really sucks. But if you’re going to stay you don’t stick around with a toxic approach that your past mistakes are always fair game and sn expectation that he’s going to cheat again. If you believe he’s going to cheat again then the idea of staying is beyond absurd.
John’s advice on this stuff never comes across to me as endorsements of behavior but rather difficult truths that if we’re deciding to stay in this relationship then we need ti stay with full intention of it being successful and I think that does require true forgiveness, an opportunity to grow and belief that he will truly improve. But if you don’t believe those things or won’t stay that way then I don’t think it’s wise to stay because you’re hurting the chsnce of success right away and if you don’t feel comfortable to enter full bore then to me that’s about as red a flag possible that you should leave. It’s not her fault what he did but if she truly decides to stay then it’s only fair to work to move in best as possible but if I had my way she’d leave this loser as far behind as possible.
He's still in love with the ex. I wonder what the real reason for him not marrying the ex instead if his current wife in the first place?
Lol. In love with himself, from what I hear
Lady doesn’t see what is right in front of her face. Cheating means they don’t respect you. It’s over. It will only get worst.
Something like that happens and it upsets the whole parental group…It’s his and the ex responsibility to clean up with everyone not her.
i think she means her EX HUSBAND
You'd think, but unfortunately sometimes these people are dependent.
This lady seems like the type of person that would take out a $700 car payment making $11,000 a year.
Factual
Lolololol totally!!!!
🤣🤣🤣🤣
She probably makes more than you.
Haha Dr D said "so you brought one from how many relationships?"
Haha 😆
Her sitting down with the ex is a terrible idea....
They both lack the maturity... these are perpetual adolescents we're dealing with here.
CAT FIGHT !!🐈
@@calebmallen It's a crazy idea regardless of their respective levels of maturity.
This guy is messed up, she's better off a single parent. He will cheat again. Not only has he had kids with three women, he's also cheated on her. What makes her think he won't cheat or leave her after this?
Wake up people. Are you really that numb? Or blinded by love?
I think that there is more lust in this family than love :(
This is everything else other than love. Just a drunken mess
Did you mean dumb?
i just imagine feeling so much rage and resentment for having to "meet in the middle" over something I didn't cause...I would not be able to remain in the marriage
Usually the friendship is to make access more readily available for him! These people cheating on her are dealing with spiritual strongholds that will go beyond her being “an adult” getting to know the other woman!
Throw the whole husband away
😂😂😂
Never marry someone who already has kids
This is why you dont sign up to be the third mom and baby mama. 🙄
I really don't understand the expectation for people to stay when infidelity is involved with or without kids, forgiveness is given freely I don't have to be with you to forgive you. Trust however has to be earned which is what the husband should be focused on and not his wife and ex being buddy buddy. I do agree with John this is going to driver her crazy, because she's trying to hold the wrong person accountable the ex didn't take vows with her he did and he broke them.
This one I heartily disagree with. Why does the wife have to deal with the mess the husband made? He needs to set clear boundaries with the ex and tell the ex that him and his wife need to be civil but they’re not friends. That’s a dream they need to give up because they broke her trust. Sounds like the ex is in love with the husband and is trying to get him back or at least take him away from the wife.
Cuz she is choosing to stay
John didn’t tell her to be friends with the ex. He told her if she was choosing to stay that the sad reality is that she needs to be civil with the ex. And that’s the sad reality by choosing to stick with this loser husband who did this to her. This guy sucks.
She has the husband, the loss of the 2 wives civility costs the husband more than this poor woman. The man has to on his own figure out how to do bdays with that cheating exes child that isn't a bio mom and dad event. He needs to accept that now he and the ex can no longer celebrate together, it's his kids at his new house for events, the baby mommas 1 and 2 do their own thing alone with their kid. The big polygamous share the daddy events end because HE broke the trust.
WRONG! Being all in with this guy does NOT mean interacting with her. She needs to cut her ties with her and he needs to as well and if the kids want to know why, you need to tell them why. Be honest. This is 100% on him, not her.
The title almost took me out! 😅
This is a situation that is unnatural, there are way too many baby-mommas and baby-daddies. There’s too much going on here to ever be a “family forest”, it’s just all messed up and broken. Why do people get themselves into bad situations, then move on to worse situations... and then not see that it will just keep trending?
Polygamy destroys families. This is so sad. I feel really sorry for the women, but they chose this for themselves. I feel really, really sorry for the children.
It was not one time and the affair has not ended. She is deflecting fault away from her husband: blaming herself, her interview, and the other woman.
he is still sleeping with the ex and maybe the other baby mama's
never again why he would want to cross that boundary is a problem.
family forest is not my description more like a family swamp. lol
😂😂😂
That man only loves himself.
It seems like the husband and the affair lady want the 'good wife' to validate their quilt. She has no obligation to make them feel better about what those 2 violated. Stay focused and be best for the children. Don't give credit where credit is not due.
Wow I'm doing the study in Genesis. People need to stop having multiple relationship. This is a hot mess.
Amen! There is a reason Jesus said to have one wife and one husband.
Really bugs me when people say they're sorry, but they don't want there to be any repercussions for what they have done. That isn't really repentance. I'm sorry, but I want any inconvenience to me because of my behavior.
I am fascinated by the women who stay after such a deep level of disrespect...
Deep insecurities and very damaged, wounded self-esteem from childhood emotional (possibly physical) abuse and/or abandonment. All of which things screw people up terribly.
I know there were dummies out there but gawwwd if he cheats I’m out with our kids and all the stuff I can take 🤷🏻♀️
First of all she married a deadbeat selfish person and second of all her husband don't get to make that choice to ask or demand anything from his wife after doing such a nasty thing to her.I hope she wises up takes her kids and leaves his nasty @$$.I would never in a million years go talk with his exwife they have nothing to say to each other that would make any good come from that mess.