My Affair Ruined My Relationship With My Son (What Can I Do?)

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  • čas přidán 3. 11. 2022
  • My Affair Ruined My Relationship With My Son (What Can I Do?)
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Komentáře • 1,1K

  • @ruththurman9219
    @ruththurman9219 Před rokem +1147

    "she's not a sweetheart, she's a doormat "💗

    • @bettysmith4527
      @bettysmith4527 Před rokem +50

      Exactly, hopefully she will wake up and move on!!

    • @rz8753
      @rz8753 Před rokem +19

      I was like dang 😮
      but so true

    • @vv8134
      @vv8134 Před 5 měsíci

      Yes I am guess she would been overwhelmed by having a baby and toddler. Hope she has or will leave this moron

    • @kika-mu6wb
      @kika-mu6wb Před 4 měsíci +3

      Period

    • @chrisidornigie
      @chrisidornigie Před 4 měsíci +6

      Not to mention a disappointing role model… Teaching your kids to except crappy behavior!

  • @leehall5447
    @leehall5447 Před rokem +1677

    This dude has no remorse at all, sounds like a piece of work

  • @pooh4025
    @pooh4025 Před rokem +641

    He's been affair-less for 3 weeks and he thinks he's cured 🤦‍♀️

  • @evanlarsson8725
    @evanlarsson8725 Před rokem +1277

    When he basically said his wife is a sweetheart for staying with him after three years of cheating I almost lost it

    • @SarahR2D2
      @SarahR2D2 Před rokem +34

      Same

    • @TheEsperKing1
      @TheEsperKing1 Před rokem +191

      It's like beating a dog and thinking it cute how the dog doesn't leave.
      I almost couldn't believe my ears!

    • @dianecelento4974
      @dianecelento4974 Před rokem +58

      She's more like a door mat.

    • @gehmangang8006
      @gehmangang8006 Před rokem +21

      Completely cringe!

    • @SarahR2D2
      @SarahR2D2 Před rokem

      @@gehmangang8006 🤣🤣🤣

  • @eedwards4603
    @eedwards4603 Před 5 měsíci +426

    The greatest gift a father can give his children is to love their mother.

    • @deeh5126
      @deeh5126 Před 4 měsíci +12

      my ex used to say this- my how sweet it sounded early in the marriage. He went on to become a serial cheater... and now only has supervised visits with our kids. smh

    • @zitronentee
      @zitronentee Před 4 měsíci +6

      ​@@deeh5126 Action always speak louder than words.

    • @godmadesam
      @godmadesam Před 4 měsíci +8

      Yep. I cannot tell you how completely giddy my children become when I love my wife, their mother! They are a result of our love and that has to continue for them to grow into loving, productive members of society.

    • @KangwithoutaKangdom
      @KangwithoutaKangdom Před 4 měsíci

      That's why I will maintain most men don't love their kids, because look at how often men kill their partners statistically. You don't kill ppl you love, and you don't kill people that the people you love, love.

    • @candycane1744
      @candycane1744 Před 4 měsíci +3

      I'm sorry but if someone makes a vow and has kids with you, giving your love and loyalness should be the minimum

  • @TheGayStoic
    @TheGayStoic Před rokem +1187

    "if you want your little boy back, treat his mom right." That one hit me. There's so much truth in that statement I can almost weep 🙏🏾

    • @andrea6053
      @andrea6053 Před rokem +81

      People think affairs just hurt the spouse but it also affects the kids. They remember the school events you didn’t attend, the holidays and birthdays that you weren’t fully present for because you were constantly checking your text messages. They also remember the tears they watched the other parent cry. You are very much hurting your children as well.

    • @dewilew2137
      @dewilew2137 Před rokem +3

      Go ahead and let it on out 🤗

    • @Truthisstrangerthanfiction8
      @Truthisstrangerthanfiction8 Před rokem

      @@dewilew2137 🤣

    • @axiomaddict
      @axiomaddict Před 4 měsíci

      Sounds as if he never had him in the first place.

  • @desiraelyles3166
    @desiraelyles3166 Před rokem +655

    I am honestly shocked that Dr. D didn’t ask if he was seeing another man. Like that is the biggest elephant in the room……

    • @flashthecorgi2053
      @flashthecorgi2053 Před rokem +32

      I just question if the wife knew he was dating a man wouldn’t that prompt a divorce? but also Delony brought up a could of times that “you don’t have to live with her and he never once corrected John on calling the affair partner a woman so I wonder if he would of even said on air if it were true?

    • @desiraelyles3166
      @desiraelyles3166 Před rokem +9

      @@flashthecorgi2053 good point he probably wouldn’t!

    • @dianecelento4974
      @dianecelento4974 Před rokem +5

      Lol Agree

    • @ashtonelvismusic
      @ashtonelvismusic Před rokem +60

      It's totally a dude

    • @dewilew2137
      @dewilew2137 Před rokem +2

      @@ashtonelvismusic you’re so handsome 😍

  • @ember13dp
    @ember13dp Před rokem +517

    He's cheating with a dude. Notice how he never says it's another woman. The wife isn't leaving him because that's a confusing situation... she's waiting on him to get it out of his system then choose her, or choose to be gay and leave.

    • @ladyofthecentury
      @ladyofthecentury Před rokem +75

      I also thought he was talking about a man too. I don’t believe it was a woman either.

    • @progers86
      @progers86 Před 9 měsíci +36

      Ya, definitely a dude. That was a great catch.

    • @TrishDigginsDesign
      @TrishDigginsDesign Před 8 měsíci +5

      Interesting theory

    • @ana09er
      @ana09er Před 6 měsíci +21

      He even said it in the beginning,… that it was a guy

    • @MistyEry
      @MistyEry Před 6 měsíci +28

      Yep. He said it at the beginning. Freudian slip.

  • @calebburghardt3391
    @calebburghardt3391 Před rokem +930

    “I got careless” says it all. Choices have consequences. Really hard to feel sympathy for someone like this dude.

    • @mimimonster
      @mimimonster Před rokem +54

      Agreed!!! That comments was NUTS!!! He only regrets the fact that he got “careless” or caught. His regret has nothing to do with his actions. This guy makes me so mad.

    • @KC-kg3ld
      @KC-kg3ld Před rokem +47

      He doesn’t care at all. I feel so bad for his wife. I hope she finds her confidence soon n she will

    • @katiejon17
      @katiejon17 Před rokem +18

      Sounds like the Elliot Page type of “dude”.

    • @ownage11445
      @ownage11445 Před rokem +1

      Funny how he puts it on the same level of negligence. No this is blatant disregard for your wife and your family. He knew exactly what he was doing. He didn’t accidentally fall into a naked woman’s vagina while fully erect for three years straight. What an idiot.

    • @sarahalderman3126
      @sarahalderman3126 Před rokem

      Sympathy 🤣😂 I have zero empathy for this pitiful piece of trash. Hopefully this woman leaves him and keeps her little boy as far away from this piece of trash.

  • @DevjKaiser
    @DevjKaiser Před rokem +476

    He doesn’t sound like he’s honest about his sexuality with his wife.

  • @NeeNee_B.
    @NeeNee_B. Před rokem +518

    "No, she's a doormat!"
    John is on fire today 🔥

  • @Sara_The_Feral_Housewife
    @Sara_The_Feral_Housewife Před rokem +411

    This morning my husband hugged me for more than 30 seconds before he left for work. I even started to pull away after about 10 seconds and he pulled me in closer. I've never been more grateful for him then after listening to this call.

  • @dixcn
    @dixcn Před rokem +201

    Yh he ain't done cheating lol. He's not sad he cheated, he's sad he got caught and has to live with the consequences.

  • @blitzkrieg6872
    @blitzkrieg6872 Před 4 měsíci +52

    This man is not going to be able to forget about his boyfriend. He is still hooked.

  • @CyeOutsider
    @CyeOutsider Před rokem +121

    After you have cheated on your partner for 3 years, I don't think there can possibly be enough respect left for your partner for you to rebuild that relationship.

  • @toscadonna
    @toscadonna Před rokem +127

    The caller sounds homosexual. So did he trick his wife into thinking he was straight, and now he’s worried that his son knows what he’s done? He’s just so evil and doesn’t even care. He only cares for himself and his own needs. The wife is staying for the kid to have a father. SMH.

    • @mewtwomotherfuka
      @mewtwomotherfuka Před 4 měsíci +11

      I thought this was a woman's voice at 1st

    • @Cynnas
      @Cynnas Před 4 měsíci +1

      😂😂😂

  • @Mercury688
    @Mercury688 Před rokem +518

    “The affair partner”? Was this with another man? I’ll bet there’s a lot more to the story than he’s letting on

    • @anyagee9467
      @anyagee9467 Před rokem +85

      yes, most likely. And it is strange that John didn't pick up on it.

    • @Mercury688
      @Mercury688 Před rokem +102

      @@anyagee9467 yes! He was so carefully to say “partner”, “the other person”. He never once referred to the persons gender he cheated for THREE YEARS with. It seemed very intentional and very controlled the way he talked about his “cheating partner”

    • @Jane5720
      @Jane5720 Před rokem +73

      Gay

    • @eurekahope5310
      @eurekahope5310 Před rokem +127

      He called the partner "he" once. I think the gay angle allows him to justify the affair since he is being his "authentic self" now. Our culture seems to justify cheating when the cheater "discovers" a different sexual identity.

    • @colmwhateveryoulike3240
      @colmwhateveryoulike3240 Před rokem +48

      @@eurekahope5310 It's because the victim status cancels out the cheater status.

  • @christopherdunham2637
    @christopherdunham2637 Před rokem +294

    He feels bad about the consequences, not what he does or who he is. The word narcissist comes to mind.

    • @vv8134
      @vv8134 Před 5 měsíci +10

      Yes cares hardly about his son but wants his son to meet his needs for love . So yep narcissist

    • @katcraig7525
      @katcraig7525 Před 4 měsíci

      ​@@vv8134Agreed. He's only thinking about himself & his needs. I hope that the wife wises up & takes care of herself & her son.

  • @mcarthurspark8636
    @mcarthurspark8636 Před rokem +259

    This caller only cares about losing his son because its his only chance to have a biological child. I'd bet that his male lover left him because he was tired of waiting for him to come out of the closet. Now he is settling for his wife but could care less about her.
    It's amazing how when a person is gay, they show no remorse when they cheat on their spouses and feel they are the victim. Instead of coming clean and telling them that they are gay, they would rather cheat on them, then justify it.

    • @susieq8008
      @susieq8008 Před 6 měsíci +17

      You are absolutely right.

    • @one_ice_cold_chiq
      @one_ice_cold_chiq Před 5 měsíci +9

      So very true. You don't have to lie to kick it, just be honest.

    • @anonymousarab8226
      @anonymousarab8226 Před 5 měsíci +2

      Wait is he gay

    • @julitakamaki4386
      @julitakamaki4386 Před 5 měsíci

      @@anonymousarab8226No one knows for sure. It’s just speculation. His use of non-gendered verbiage in reference to the “affair partner” was a bit suspicious and people picked up on that.

    • @Rosie1939
      @Rosie1939 Před 5 měsíci

      So you know EVERY gay person? Heterosexuals cheat like nobodies business and then they want to “ save my marriage”. The tons of heterosexual stories of infidelity I’ve heard on this podcast makes it hard to believe in marriage.

  • @fullmetal_neet2288
    @fullmetal_neet2288 Před rokem +46

    This “man” should have never had kids. He should go back to his “affair partner” aka boyfriend. It’s really disgusting how you could lie to a woman like that.

  • @heywuzzzupwithya
    @heywuzzzupwithya Před rokem +124

    Did anyone get the feeling that other person is not a "her"?

    • @bohobutterfly7911
      @bohobutterfly7911 Před 4 měsíci +7

      This guy referred to the person as "he". He slipped up while he was talking at the beginning. He's clearly gay or bisexual. This cheater isn't even taking responsibility for his actions fully. I hope this woman left him!!

    • @sommermcdaniel9723
      @sommermcdaniel9723 Před 2 měsíci +3

      Absolutely got that feeling. It's the way he talks about her too! Like she is insignificant, a separate person totally removed from him, or like a thing. He does not sound like someone who loves or was ever attracted to his wife. He doesn't even care what she thinks, he just cares about his son.

    • @emilysmith575
      @emilysmith575 Před 18 dny

      We all got that feeling

  • @juliedewyer1366
    @juliedewyer1366 Před 5 měsíci +35

    I literally said "No she's a doormat!" at the exact same time John did.

  • @emilyworkman
    @emilyworkman Před rokem +171

    I love John for this one. He called him on his stuff so hard. Absolutely amazing. This is what a person of character looks like. She's not a sweetheart, she's a doormat. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

    • @emilyworkman
      @emilyworkman Před 6 měsíci +1

      @amelia-620Most definitely. That goes without saying.

  • @viaconlon6740
    @viaconlon6740 Před rokem +103

    This made me cry :/ Dr. Delony was spot-on with his advice. This caller obviously has no integrity, and the 5-year old son and his mom are suffering for it.

  • @carolallison9685
    @carolallison9685 Před rokem +290

    Im going to take a wild guess and say the affair partner left him.

  • @kw3113
    @kw3113 Před rokem +150

    Interesting that the husband wasn’t really worried about mending fences with his wife as much as his son and really didn’t sound that broken over it. I’d bet money the ‘relationship’ was with another man and this marriage should be over.

    • @juliedewyer1366
      @juliedewyer1366 Před 5 měsíci

      Guaranteed he's gay

    • @mish375
      @mish375 Před 5 měsíci +8

      Usually when they don't specify the sex of the affair partner, that's exactly what it means.

  • @downtish
    @downtish Před rokem +69

    Why is no one talking about the, “I’m sorry what?” That is hysterical 😂

  • @truckingwithtobee
    @truckingwithtobee Před rokem +387

    Let me tell you something from experience. My husband cheated on me 16 years ago. And an emotional affair three years ago. Do you know what both of my grown children have told us over and over and over again. That it didn’t help them one bit by us staying together. It hurts the children so much. And I regret staying.

    • @SarahR2D2
      @SarahR2D2 Před rokem +13

      How would they know?

    • @ineedhoez
      @ineedhoez Před rokem +39

      Amen. We lie and tell ourselves we are staying for the kids because we want to be comfortable.

    • @christinebutler7630
      @christinebutler7630 Před rokem +21

      At an emotional level that's no.doubt true, but they may not realize the financial implications of divorce. Depending on what.kind of income the wife is able to earn, it can be devastating for her and for the kids. When two incomes is just barely enough to support one household, supporting two is almost impossible.

    • @Phyoomz
      @Phyoomz Před rokem +10

      So sorry. I'm sure that was rough to hear. But as a fellow parent, we know hindsight's 20/20 and it's hard to know what the right choices are at times.
      I was always told to "stay and work it out for the sake of the kids" but a lot of times it's better not to. Tough, unfair and life-changing decisions.
      A silver lining is that life goes on, so there's always a chance to try to make it up.

    • @NnoxLupus
      @NnoxLupus Před rokem +52

      @@SarahR2D2 because children aren’t stupid. They pick up on tension and emotions. Their parents were probably not in a good space and the kids recognized it. Not sure if they knew about the cheating, but it’s clear they knew something was off if they are able to say it didn’t help them. That means it inadvertently affected them some how.

  • @ChristmasLights2
    @ChristmasLights2 Před rokem +84

    This guy just called to have another therapy appointment for free. He feeds off the attention. Telling the story and getting eyes on him and ears ready to listen is his real reward, and it’s more rewarding than a fulfilling relationship with his wife or kid.
    It’s not about them at all, except to use as pawns in his interactions with others that he can’t get any other way. This is a person starved of attention and doesn’t think he can capture any unless he sacrifices his dignity and the dignity of his family to get it. Damn sad.

  • @Dwights_trash_can
    @Dwights_trash_can Před rokem +140

    I laughed throughout this call from the audacity of this guy. I'm mean jeeze dude this is insanity

    • @dewilew2137
      @dewilew2137 Před rokem +1

      @A 7108 why? A lot,of guys are just like this.

    • @sarcodonblue2876
      @sarcodonblue2876 Před rokem +3

      ​@@dewilew2137The lack of caring in his voice was a shock compared to the usual callers having remorse. Sadly I have come across enough of these types.

    • @sonofhibbs4425
      @sonofhibbs4425 Před 5 měsíci

      @@dewilew2137 which is a SERIOUS SERIOUS problem. It’s no excuse if ‘’a lot’’ are like this. It’s not ok.

  • @builtontherockhomestead9390
    @builtontherockhomestead9390 Před 5 měsíci +17

    Feb 2024 as I'm watching this. Hope the wife has gotten help and left this jerk.

  • @jaehwan123
    @jaehwan123 Před rokem +161

    You can hear in his voice that he's got no remorse. His wife is a complete doormat. I feel bad for him, but I don't see a real solution here.

    • @texan903
      @texan903 Před rokem +8

      Divorce so she can move on with her life is the best way forward. Though it won't be enough, he can offer her a sincere apology. It's up to her as to whether or not she accepts. He can go do whatever he does once the divorce is completed.

    • @FTG2Eli
      @FTG2Eli Před rokem +12

      @A 7108Only Joh n says the other person is a woman. He just says "the other person"

    • @kerrymillar1267
      @kerrymillar1267 Před 8 měsíci +6

      You feel bad for him?? What about the wife and kid.

    • @persephoneszeliga
      @persephoneszeliga Před 5 měsíci

      I don’t feel bad for him at all. He’s a POS.

  • @devadii24
    @devadii24 Před rokem +190

    This guy needs to come out already, live his life and try to maintain the best relationship he can with the wife and kid…..he doesn’t feel bad at all… and his family is suffering

    • @semosancus5506
      @semosancus5506 Před rokem +42

      Yeah that is the problem. The affair is with a man. I wonder if that part was told to the wife.

    • @SarahR2D2
      @SarahR2D2 Před rokem +4

      @@semosancus5506 😱😱😱 I didn't get to that part yet

    • @SarahR2D2
      @SarahR2D2 Před rokem +1

      I didn't hear that in the interview are you implying from his voice???

    • @SarahR2D2
      @SarahR2D2 Před rokem +3

      @A 7108 😱😱😱

    • @SarahR2D2
      @SarahR2D2 Před rokem +3

      @A 7108 I guess Dr. John missed it to because he told him not to call her anymore. My Goodness 😱😱😱

  • @juliabest3414
    @juliabest3414 Před 5 měsíci +55

    He will loose his boy if he keeps mistreating his mother. A child will resent you for the rest of their life if you don't fix things now.

    • @romancewriter6296
      @romancewriter6296 Před 4 měsíci +3

      True. My husband and his sister both resent their father for his 25 years of infidelity to their mother. He had so many affairs, it ruined their entire childhood. In the end, they don't really have a fond memory of him, at least his daughter doesn't.

  • @worldtravelerjon
    @worldtravelerjon Před rokem +133

    The marriage is done.

  • @SandraLuz3
    @SandraLuz3 Před rokem +193

    I grew up with my dad having a 2 year affair, and it affected my younger sister and I to where now I have trust issues and am fighting for my sanity and marriage . Please if you are reading this and having an affair just leave your spouse it's not fair for anyone. Be a parent and owe up to your mistakes, talk to your kids come clean. Because kids know, no doubt about it. I understand why mom left my dad but then she got with my stepdad who physically abused her and was a drunk. That I couldn't wrap my mind around.

    • @breeeque
      @breeeque Před rokem +20

      "we accept the love we think we deserve."

    • @georgewagner7787
      @georgewagner7787 Před rokem +3

      But why are you advising people to leave? They should stop cheating instead. ( then your mom wouldn't have endorsed up with a drunk)

    • @georgewagner7787
      @georgewagner7787 Před rokem

      Ended

    • @LisaLisaCJ
      @LisaLisaCJ Před rokem +9

      Because mom has a cheat and then picked an abusive drunk. There is something going on in mom. Infidelity affects your self esteem. May have played a big part on picking stepdad

    • @Coffeetime1991
      @Coffeetime1991 Před rokem +3

      Men like your step dad know vulnerable women and they rush them into a relationship because they’re the only ones who deal with their abuse. A smart strong woman wouldn’t.

  • @trexxy9628
    @trexxy9628 Před rokem +124

    Daaaaaamn. Deloney calling things out for what they are.

    • @johnsmith-kt7ef
      @johnsmith-kt7ef Před rokem +16

      a good therapist should do this. They aren't your friend, they should tell you what it looks like from an outside perspective.

  • @couchtater4621
    @couchtater4621 Před rokem +45

    He' totally came clean and admitted everything'. That's another lie. This never, ever
    happens.

  • @SaystheTruth3
    @SaystheTruth3 Před rokem +22

    Problem #1- he's gay. He needs to be honest with himself and then with his wife and son...sad situation...

  • @daisycano4542
    @daisycano4542 Před rokem +53

    This guy isn’t going to change. He does want to live a double life. He is such a liar. His wife deserves so much better. I’m sure she threatened to leave him and he cried “I’ll change”

  • @Matt-cr4vv
    @Matt-cr4vv Před rokem +28

    Parents who maintain toxic marriages under the guise of protecting the kids never recognize how much more harmful that is. Your kids aren’t fooled and even worse sometimes they see your toxic mess as what marriage is.

    • @annstewart8506
      @annstewart8506 Před 11 měsíci +2

      Exactly! I divorced from a 23 year marriage when I learnt ex was cheating. My kids and I.are happy with out the lies and cheating.

    • @randomblackwoman
      @randomblackwoman Před 4 měsíci

      Then they eventually leave and blame their kids because they decided to stay in the marriage for years.

  • @freecountry3544
    @freecountry3544 Před 5 měsíci +15

    Thinks he is entitled.
    Thinks he is better than his wife.
    Thinks his kid should take care oh HIS feelings.
    Wants to have a family to hide who he really is.
    Lies to everyone about who he is.
    Lies to his wife.
    Lies to his kid.
    He wanted HELP? He is not the victim.

  • @kaw8473
    @kaw8473 Před rokem +165

    A message to all the cheaters out there; if you use the "I slipped and fell getting out of the shower" defense, just know you immediately lose all the credibility you've ever had. Doctors don't believe these words and neither should women.

    • @nly4607
      @nly4607 Před rokem

      Men can't cheat lol

    • @nly4607
      @nly4607 Před rokem

      @@Austenfan177 no men and women are different. When men cheat they are exercising an option they worked hard to have the opportunity to get.
      When a woman cheats she is cheating herself and her children out of better resources

    • @nly4607
      @nly4607 Před rokem

      @@Austenfan177 the more men a woman sleeps with the more woman want him. The more men a woman sleeps with less men will be willing to put up with her baggage and pay for her bs because men are disgusted by tramps at a biological level

    • @nly4607
      @nly4607 Před rokem +1

      @@Austenfan177 this is false. A woman who has slept with 5 men will more than likely get a divorce. You are just a 304 and have 304 friends lol

    • @marianemashkalo4182
      @marianemashkalo4182 Před rokem +17

      @@nly4607 You're being ridiculous. If a man wants to have many lovers, please, he can do what he wants. But then why get married or have kids or be in supposedly committed relationship? Just do all that stuff honestly and openly if you want that, but don't get married to one person and lie about being faithful. The asshole part comes when there's a need to gain and break someone's trust. Other than that, please you can have a million superficial affairs rather than one deep relationship. Some people are just shallow and that's ok, explain the lack of depth and maturity with animal biology all you want.

  • @abbydyson2287
    @abbydyson2287 Před rokem +65

    Listening to John try to explain basic morality to this person

  • @5thdimensionliving727
    @5thdimensionliving727 Před rokem +98

    This is such a tragic situation. The husband needs to come clean with the truth of who he really is. He is lying to himself. So unfair on his wife and kid. They don’t deserve this. Cheating on your partner is the worse crime you can commit to that person. The dude knows it’s wrong and years of leveraging of his partner’s forgiveness is finally coming to a reckoning with guilt, shame? Etc.

    • @texan903
      @texan903 Před rokem +13

      Because of family, religious, social adverse implications he probably can't really be who he is. He should divorce her so she can move on with her life and potentially find someone who values, appreciates and loves her.

  • @undecidedtoystore3003
    @undecidedtoystore3003 Před rokem +55

    Man, these calls make marriage sound so unappealing..

    • @nikkisigmon8090
      @nikkisigmon8090 Před rokem +11

      You only hear of the chaotic ones. My spouse and I are happily married and stronger together. There are many of us around. It's the rotten marriages that get the most talked about though.

  • @laquamartin4602
    @laquamartin4602 Před 5 měsíci +12

    The Audacity Of These Cheaters🤨. Why Won't You Continue Believe My Deception And Lies. 🥴

  • @lifeaccordingtotheo9643
    @lifeaccordingtotheo9643 Před rokem +79

    I know a middle-aged man that STILL has trauma because Dad spent the whole marriage cheating on Mom with other men until they divorced when he was 5yr. The damage was done by then. Unfortunately because Mom had no self worth she jumped into a relationship with another jerk. The only thing that fixes this is Mom kicking this guy out, doing whatever it takes to fix her own self esteem and then make sure her next relationship is a healthy one to a man who shows this little boy what a dad should look like.

    • @texan903
      @texan903 Před rokem +9

      No future man can show the son what a real dad looks like but the replacement guy can be a good role model.

    • @SarahR2D2
      @SarahR2D2 Před rokem +1

      @@texan903 Exactly 💯

    • @Mom_to_schnauzers
      @Mom_to_schnauzers Před rokem +7

      I have a feeling this guy is in the same situation and he is not taking responsibility for any of his actions. He is just wanting attention here, not help.

    • @ineedhoez
      @ineedhoez Před rokem

      Amen

    • @UnAnonKnown
      @UnAnonKnown Před rokem +10

      @@texan903 Not true at all. There are plenty of amazing step-dads up there stepping up and showing their kids what real fathers do (ie everything in their power to make the world a safe place for their kids). And the minute the child recognizes that they have this in their step-father, they’ll have a father.

  • @anyagee9467
    @anyagee9467 Před rokem +38

    This is devastating. I don't wish this to anyone.

  • @youtubehandle-
    @youtubehandle- Před rokem +90

    His 5 year old son will grow up and hold him accountable, probably way more than he can imagine. He needs to decide what he's going to do, like now and do it!

    • @Plooky1969
      @Plooky1969 Před rokem +5

      Or become him.

    • @bl2528
      @bl2528 Před rokem +4

      He might grow up to be like his toxic father

    • @UnAnonKnown
      @UnAnonKnown Před rokem +3

      @@Plooky1969 Even that’s a form of accountability. If this man loves his son at all, watching him self destruct the way he did will be pure punishment.

    • @yorhaunit21o32
      @yorhaunit21o32 Před rokem +2

      He will hold his mother accountable for being weak too

  • @JettSettingBengal
    @JettSettingBengal Před 9 měsíci +12

    How can some people be so cruel to their partner. I feel so bad for the child and the wife smh

  • @stilljocelyn_
    @stilljocelyn_ Před rokem +26

    This poor little boy in the middle of all this really breaks my heart. 💔 I’m so glad Dr. John held this guy to the fire.

    • @kerrymillar1267
      @kerrymillar1267 Před 8 měsíci +1

      And the wife, jeez no one deserves what he’s done to her.

  • @Aprylbaby
    @Aprylbaby Před rokem +51

    This person has no remorse...Wtf! I hope the wife packed all her bags and is out the door. Wow!

  • @erikhuisman2487
    @erikhuisman2487 Před rokem +26

    I'm sorry Dr John. You wasted your words with this guy. He shows no remorse. The most worrying thing is his voice didn't change one iota when you called him out.

    • @mwhe3111
      @mwhe3111 Před rokem +4

      I noticed that, and he also sounded like he was waiting for Dr. John to take a breath so he could jump in with his excuses again.

  • @lindseysrouji5229
    @lindseysrouji5229 Před rokem +25

    showing affection is so powerful. Since my husband and got intentional about showing affection towards each other in front of our toddler, she has become a sweeter, softer, little human. She gets the biggest smile on her face :)

  • @jumpwithjess
    @jumpwithjess Před rokem +8

    He has no remorse… you can hear it in his voice… he is tricking himself and his wife into thinking he is ready to be faithful.

  • @pmeehan_3
    @pmeehan_3 Před rokem +79

    The guy is married and is cheating with another man. He said it right before the one minute mark. Per the comments it seems a lot of people missed that. So John's advice is NOT going to help this guy at all. The only way this guy is gonna make it right for his son is first be honest with himself that he's gay. It's ok but at least be honest about it. Then he needs to come clean with his wife.

    • @firefly9838
      @firefly9838 Před rokem

      Yeah he sounds gay I wasn't surprised.

    • @katherinewolf3063
      @katherinewolf3063 Před rokem +24

      I divorced such a creature. It’s hell finding out you are the only straight spouse in the relationship. The abuse is on levels most cannot comprehend. I hope she finds out and leaves before her son learns to disrespect her and all woman as his “father” does. Absolutely disgusting.

    • @lilred00051
      @lilred00051 Před rokem +12

      I was in a serious relationship with a man who was closeted and it broke me. Everyone should be concerned w male partners who are homophobic. He's been married with kids for years and probably cheating on her. Disgusting!

    • @georgewagner7787
      @georgewagner7787 Před rokem +4

      It's not ok.

    • @NRQ-zv5bp
      @NRQ-zv5bp Před 11 měsíci +8

      No..
      He says I would push him back he's talking about his son. He's saying that in the time he's cheating he throws everything away and doesn't care about anything else including his son. He only focused on the affair partner. Yes I will leave this affair partner is a man. But it was not sad that it was a man within this video like you are alleging

  • @razmiddle9410
    @razmiddle9410 Před rokem +15

    He's from the streets, and to the streets he should return

  • @hollyballa8110
    @hollyballa8110 Před rokem +24

    Dr John is visibly affected with the same shock at this guy’s worldview and no expression of remorse or even love for his wife. By midway through the call, Deloney’s whole body is figuring w the energy required to stay calm, cool & collected. To NOT tear into this guy.
    No doubt he’s worked with soooo many suffering women & children at the hands of men with this lack of integrity. It seems personal for him.
    Go Dr John- you kept it positive yet let him know clearly how wrong he still is in his thinking. Excellent self control and pen twirling 😂

  • @ronaldnichols9945
    @ronaldnichols9945 Před rokem +26

    At first, he focused on the son yet then explained the real reason for the son's behavior. The male deserves all the pain from pushing his wife and son Away from him. 3 years? His son doesn't know him and he has seen his mother's pain. Why would he want to know his bio father?

  • @princessbagley
    @princessbagley Před rokem +20

    I am Praying for his wife and children..

  • @thorneto2742
    @thorneto2742 Před rokem +41

    He says he knows it was wrong, but I don’t think he has any idea why it’s actually wrong lol

  • @turnovertheleaf5505
    @turnovertheleaf5505 Před rokem +18

    Wow! I don't always agree with DeLony, but he did a great job giving advice here!! Humble, respectful and overall balanced delivery.
    For the caller: If you choose your wife, do it completely or let her go. The thread she is holding unto is ripping her to shreds.

    • @dewilew2137
      @dewilew2137 Před rokem

      Why did you change his last name? 😅

  • @rageburst
    @rageburst Před rokem +15

    People who cheat compulsively might not have the ability to love truly. People like that aren't that deep and may only start to change when things backfire.

  • @Insufficient202
    @Insufficient202 Před rokem +11

    3:22 John’s face when the caller said he “got care less” 😂

  • @antoniac1234
    @antoniac1234 Před rokem +11

    I'm not sure why CZcams put this on my feed, but it actually brought me a lot of peace. I've been divorced for six years after I finally caught my ex-husband cheating. I had panic attacks every day for years when I was married. My son is disabled, autistic and nonverbal. I will never be in a relationship again because of my age, looks, etc, but at least I have peace. We never had that when I was married. It always felt like the world would end at any moment. I'm glad I got away from that.

    • @rahmaadan97
      @rahmaadan97 Před 11 měsíci +2

      I had the same experience, the looks, the age, etc. It felt like time bomb. When he left me for another woman, i looked around dazed, got up and dusted myself and then begon living. Iam at a much beter place now thanks to God.

    • @blueseptember2174
      @blueseptember2174 Před 10 měsíci +2

      Looking at your picture. There is nothing wrong with your looks and you don't appear old either. Peace o er anything yes, but don't sell yourself short. ❤

    • @RndmAnvgr777
      @RndmAnvgr777 Před 18 dny

      Don't sell yourself short. You can find someone if that's what you want.

  • @BW_Reformation
    @BW_Reformation Před rokem +14

    Cheating is never worth it.

  • @brightpage1020
    @brightpage1020 Před rokem +36

    This guy just wants to know how much longer he has to endure his wife’s suspicion before he can go back to cheating.
    That’s “the best me” he can imagine. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. He’s a love addict. He has no thought at all for her, for what she’s gone through, for how destabilizing that is, especially with a young kid in the mix - especially.

    • @texan903
      @texan903 Před rokem +3

      She just needs to start counseling if she already hasn't. Furthermore, she needs to file for a legal separation immediately with the intent to divorce.

    • @nicolab2075
      @nicolab2075 Před rokem +2

      My god you're right. The "best me" he can imagine. What a desperate inner life this guy must be leading.

  • @auroramothergoddess
    @auroramothergoddess Před rokem +21

    His affair or his actions ruined the relationship? Boy these men don’t ever take accountability do they

  • @vesselfit2use
    @vesselfit2use Před rokem +37

    This guy sounds like he has been cheating with another man.
    He keeps calling his affair partner another "person"
    Can you guys not hear the homosexual spirit in his voice?

    • @futurefunk88eddins96
      @futurefunk88eddins96 Před rokem +6

      Stevie wonder could see that lol

    • @And1one757
      @And1one757 Před rokem +3

      I kept listening to figure out if this a guy or girl

    • @Redfox-1984
      @Redfox-1984 Před 11 měsíci +3

      He said it was a him in the first minute. Hard to catch but ots there.

    • @lilyxlithium
      @lilyxlithium Před 5 měsíci +6

      Yes! Knew he was gay THE SECOND he opened his goddamn mouth. He's not fooling anyone. She needs to divorce his ass, take him for everything he has, tell everyone they know he cheated on her with another man, then take her son and go.

    • @judykeown
      @judykeown Před 8 hodinami

      At the very beginning he slipped and said “him”. John seems to be ignoring that aspect.

  • @nicme
    @nicme Před rokem +66

    Powerful words from you today, Dr. John.

  • @jjgems5909
    @jjgems5909 Před rokem +19

    “It’s been tearing ME down”. It’s all about me me me. When John said you’re “that’s just pissing at your wife man”. All Patrick could think about was Patrick. Bro you’re tearing YOUR WIFE AND YOUR CHILDREN DOWN! This isn’t something his wife can fix this is something only God can fix and cause him to repent and realize he’s not only sinned against his wife and kids but he’s sinned against the Holy Lord. I pray he finds true repentance.

  • @thatoneguy94512
    @thatoneguy94512 Před rokem +11

    It happens. You get out of the shower, slip, fall inside someone else. I'm sure this can be explained

  • @melissab3217
    @melissab3217 Před rokem +31

    My spouse's father cheated for 23 of the 30 years he was married. We can never trust anything he says. It's almost always a lie.

  • @SageRosemary
    @SageRosemary Před rokem +19

    Damn 3 years of cheating. He might as well just go be with the other person.

  • @kimmiekats22
    @kimmiekats22 Před rokem +14

    Thank you for laying into this dude. He sure as hell deserves it.

  • @donnastrong6467
    @donnastrong6467 Před 5 měsíci +7

    Giving her access to your phone means nothing. He can just use another phone…it happened to me

  • @mimimonster
    @mimimonster Před rokem +19

    Usually the threat of permanently damaging relationships with your spouse and children keep people from cheating. When it doesn’t keep you from cheating, I don’t know why people think those consequences bite them.

    • @marianemashkalo4182
      @marianemashkalo4182 Před rokem +5

      Normal people also just have no desire to cheat, so there's no need for any kind of threat. There's no need to keep them from cheating, they just don't want to. Your statement implies that everyone wants to cheat but some are scared enough of the consequences and others- not enough. Maybe you meant something different, but to me it sounded to as this implication.

    • @nikkisigmon8090
      @nikkisigmon8090 Před rokem +1

      @@marianemashkalo4182 I agree. Its not the threat of them leaving, it's the desire to not hurt your family. The desire to cheat means there is something very, very wrong. And to not address it is a mark on your own character. It's not your family's responsibility to keep you in check. They CAN'T keep you in check.
      Ultimately if you don't see your partner as an equal, and don't love them like you love yourself, then of course you'll do whatever you want.
      This is a heart issue.

    • @littlelam3691
      @littlelam3691 Před rokem

      @@marianemashkalo4182what is your definition of normal? If it means “average,” i would guess that plenty of people, on average, have had the desire to be with someone else. Evebn if that is just for a kiss or emotional connection.

  • @LAKP1958
    @LAKP1958 Před rokem +36

    John, I appreciate your answers and the things you said to him, they were spot on! This was my story with my former spouse. The only thing that was different was that I didn’t know about all of his affairs until 22 years and 4 kids later. He was a master at not telling the truth and he was the “perfect spouse to me and father to the kids”. I know that seems hard to believe that I didn’t know but he was so good at cheating that I could never figure it out. I knew that something was wrong but I couldn’t figure it out. He was never gone at night and he was always loving and helpful around the house. He was always affectionate toward me and always kind. We never fought or disagreed on much of anything. It wasn’t always perfect but it was good. He went to church every Sunday and did small group bible studies with me and he sang in the choir and was a music minister for one of the churches we went to. He read the kids bible stories and prayed beautiful prayers with me and the kids. It’s a long story about how I finally figured it out. After the divorce, I asked him if he was ever going to confess or tell me and he said no he wasn’t. Oh how I wish I had a counselor back years ago that could have help me figure out what he was doing and leave him before he ruined my life and the kids. Anyway, I’m so glad you give such great advice to those that call you up and your ability to see right through them. Keep up the good work! Your values are very honest and good! Thank you!

    • @Vbe796
      @Vbe796 Před rokem

      Just why ?!?

    • @lillybethford1915
      @lillybethford1915 Před rokem +3

      Thanks for sharing. Covert narcissists are great pretenders.

    • @abbe199
      @abbe199 Před rokem

      I experienced almost the same thing

  • @Khemtime
    @Khemtime Před rokem +25

    Seems like there’s been an uptick in calls that are really pissing Dr Delony off.

    • @flashthecorgi2053
      @flashthecorgi2053 Před rokem +16

      He mentioned a couple weeks ago on IG live that the calls are starting to effect him emotionally and he thinks it may be due to so much exhaustion, not being able to be with friends, and traveling all over the country. Also this call would piss of most people though and the language this guy is using doesn’t have any regret or remorse in his voice.

    • @firefly9838
      @firefly9838 Před rokem +1

      True America starting to come out of the woodwork 😏

    • @Khemtime
      @Khemtime Před rokem +3

      @@flashthecorgi2053 oh totally. I got a soft spot for kids and the fact that kid is only five and he’s already having to live in that situation pisses me off.

  • @whistlepiglet
    @whistlepiglet Před rokem +12

    That poor child & his mother , wow this is so,so sad .
    And he said he’s been living a lie for 3 years… Your entire existence on this planet thus far, has been a lie.

  • @kcourtney6826
    @kcourtney6826 Před rokem +28

    There is such a bigger elephant in the room….

  • @patsysmith9883
    @patsysmith9883 Před rokem +4

    What a piece of work this dude is but at least he called in hopefully out of guilt and shame .

  • @cg741graf5
    @cg741graf5 Před rokem +5

    Unbelievable. Wait until your son is older and hears this…it’s going to stab his heart again. 😢
    What a great guy.

  • @cess4089
    @cess4089 Před rokem +11

    Yes. Sex gets so much better in marriage over time. You have to choose your spouse everyday.

  • @caseetaylor4266
    @caseetaylor4266 Před rokem +5

    I love how honest and straight forward Dr John was to this guy. This guy is trying to say all the things he thinks people want to hear. He's disingenuous and makes a totally mockery out of marriage and has had 0 consequences for his behavior. Marriage isn't for everyone, and you're just hurting the mother of your child and your child at this point. Calls like these are so frustrating especially to those of us who've experienced the pain of infidelity in a marriage/relationship. This guy isn't equipped and doesn't deserve to be married. Live your actual truth and be single and do what you want, so you're not hurting people in the process. Slipping up isnt consciously making a chocie for years. It seems like the 5 year old is far wiser and more compassionate than than the father is.

  • @paulo7507
    @paulo7507 Před rokem +16

    bruh hes obviously cheating on her with a man so he just needs to tell his wife the truth, he aint interested in women

  • @AO-nr7kl
    @AO-nr7kl Před rokem +15

    Leaving his phone around makes him careless but screwing around on his wife is not careless. His wife should kick him where it hurts every day and act like it's not happening for a year and see if he stays and puts up with it.

  • @70s80sVintage
    @70s80sVintage Před rokem +81

    Anyone else thinking the same thing I am about who he had the affair with? This guy is like an iceberg with this story…guaranteed there is much, much more beneath the surface.

  • @stephanieshifrin4285
    @stephanieshifrin4285 Před rokem +8

    The fact that hes saying "that person " tells me hes on the downlow....

  • @frankirwin5684
    @frankirwin5684 Před rokem +23

    So to sum up robs call he’s trying to find out what to say so his wife won’t divorce him and take everything from him. Rob has zero self reflection and will absolutely repeat these actions. I feel sorry for this dude. He’s a victim of his own ego. His wife should show him the ✌️ so this dude can try and fix himself internally or he’ll will die alone whether he’s surrounded by people or not.

  • @KS-md3uj
    @KS-md3uj Před rokem +6

    "If you want him back, tell the truth". Yep, come clean about all of it to your wife. She deserves honesty. Especially if it's that you're gay.....don't ruin the rest of her life by pretending

  • @southerngardengigi
    @southerngardengigi Před rokem +10

    I hope his wife hears this and leaves

  • @rachelr.290
    @rachelr.290 Před rokem +17

    I (woman, late 20s) grew up absorbing a really unhealthy perception of relationships as I witnessed my father abusing my mother and sibling. Listening to JD’s videos has helped me learn about building healthy expectations and habits.

  • @kattwin1
    @kattwin1 Před 4 měsíci +1

    Cheaters lack everything that makes a person worth respecting.

  • @sunshinegirl4660
    @sunshinegirl4660 Před rokem +7

    I feel SOOO bad for his wife and son.

  • @prudencek7087
    @prudencek7087 Před rokem +14

    Dave Ramsey must be influencing Dr. John, cause he went in with this caller; and I'm here for it! Tell it like it needs to be told Dr. John!!! And hold this dude accountable!

  • @jellyrcw12
    @jellyrcw12 Před rokem +10

    John is not having any of it!!

  • @more2me100
    @more2me100 Před 5 měsíci +3

    My grandma once told me that if ever find your man cheating and you want to confront him but not leave him… you then become the other woman.
    That’s why he got “sloppy” and stopped caring because she already knew he was and didn’t leave.
    We teach people how to treat us.

  • @Yaurii
    @Yaurii Před rokem +23

    Caller and wife are both in denial about his sexuality. I bet they’re a very religious pair and believe he can be changed. If they keep this charade up, this child will be the one to suffer.

    • @firefly9838
      @firefly9838 Před rokem +3

      Yeah you're right.

    • @yorkie4220
      @yorkie4220 Před rokem

      I bet the other counseling his getting is faith based and telling her to stay and pray.

    • @joyaustin6581
      @joyaustin6581 Před rokem +1

      She may have known he was bisexual. Pitch in voice suggests…