As a man whose wife filed for divorce after a long marriage with kids, my advice is: do not beg her to stay. Chance that she will agree to stay is very low. Instead, show her calmness and take time (like a day) to ponder your future actions. It will be a major change. So get yourself organized and come up with a well-thought out compelling plan for her to agree on how assets and children custody will be divided. Try to avoid involving lawyers if possible (it may cost at least $25K per person on just lawyers). Make your proposal attractive. Be generous and try to make it as smooth, clean, quick as possible. The quicker the better. She will try to provoke you but you must always have self-control.
@@pthesmith -- no good reason. I guess she was bored. She complained I did not change. She told me that her friends told her that she deserved a better man. Mind that I earned 3 times more than her (she has a PhD and a good job), I paid for 100% of all expenses (including mortgage) for our family, I was fit (ran half marathons), loyal, did more than 50% of the housework/child duties. My problem was: I stupidly believed in 50-50 partnership. Equality does not work. So she felt she needed to dominate me and that caused conflicts. Also, in retrospect, I think she started cheating. She showed several red flags for cheating. But I was too trusting to notice them. She could not stand me any more and filed for divorce (she was preparing for divorce for 5 years). She got a better deal than me in the divorce settlement (thanks to the anti-men legal system).
@@rayrwyr The phd part is an interesting development. I’m in a phd program (public policy) and work at a university. I know very well how consuming the process can be. You are constantly interacting and working with people who are interested in the same things, talk about the same things, and do the same things you are doing. I can easily see it being a factor. In any case, I’m sorry you’re going through that. I wish you happiness and healing.
@@Random-JustAnother -- I mentioned my failure. You missed: "My problem was: I stupidly believed in 50-50 partnership. Equality does not work.". My failure was I did not take charge. I was not dominating. I did not act as the leader. That is because I wrongly believed in 50-50 partnership. Most divorces happen these days because the wife is BORED. Boredom in monogamy, lack of excitement of her hoe phase, lack of drama, thrill, chase and anxiety, lack of attention and validation from other exciting males, and missing all the exciting times she had with her ex bfs.. So the woman rebels and causes chaos in marriage, cheats or asks for open relationship.
@@Random-JustAnother It is ridiculously wrong to think a wife files for divorce because the husband was lacking or he failed. A perfect husband is no deterrent for wife to seek divorce in modern society. Legalization of no-fault divorce is the problem.
When my first wife left me for another man, I knew it was going to cost me. I told her if she wanted to leave me for another man, that tells me you think you can do better, so there's no coming back from that, if it doesn't work out, don't come back, keep doing better than me. Then I got a second job as a bouncer at a club and was pulling young hotties, left and right. Her affair lasted about a year, she had a baby with him, then wanted to come back. I reminded her of our conversation when she said she was going to leave.
If you’re wife ask you for a divorce. She as already made here mind and there nothing as a husband you can say or do to change her mind. Tell her to file for divorce. She must hire a lawyer ($5,000) retainer to legally file for divorce. When you get served with the divorce papers. Then you go up and hire your lawyer (5,000) retainer. For yourself retain the best civil lawyer in your county. From this moment forward, Always put your financial interest first.
Get a lawyer, Son........get a real good one. She decided 6-12mths ago to leave and had been planning her exit since then. Finalise property/assets settlement to cut off her ability to get more super, equity, etc. Never take her back if she cheats and I would add, even if she doesn't. Maintain frame and burn the emotions with regular exercise. Life gets better, you just can't see how yet. I concur with his advice, as I got ruined financially, chasing my ex for 7yrs, my biggest regret. I can't stress enough, the importance of regular exercise, to burn off negative energy and build mental resilience.
What should you do? Thank her for removing a toxic element in your life. Since the threat of divorce is ever present, any woman you consider for a wife, already consider she will divorce you in the future and what would you want the situation to be regarding any children she has borne for you as well as what you would want regarding your property and wealth. Western women, especially those who embrace any level or aspect of feminism, do not deserve a husband, period.
Man was not called to try and appease silly dumbed down women: the product of corporate media, hollywood, and now the utter corruption of tik tok, unhinged, or whatever bullshit antisocial platform pops up. We were created to serve our creator, God.... Jesus Christ Any one ever hear of Him?
Honestly is the best way! There thing going on you are not aware of! So if you LOVE HER, BUT SHE NOT RETURNING IT! That mean she already gave her heart to someone else! Even if she denied it! My first didnt ask me for a divorce, until i had my son and we came home to another man in the house. With candle lights burning to make a sense! She walk out of the bedroom in a sexy gowns. All i did was walk back out! Left my son there because he wanted his mother. Even today he try to get me to take his mother back! Told him flat out NO! And he 29 years old! When you are working long hours to take care of family and debts to pay off. It will destroyed your married! Best way is PRENUPTIAL! If it doesn't work then you are NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HER OR HIS DEBTS!
This is great advice. Had my ex taken these steps, it likely would have saved our marriage. (There was no infidelity involved. And we did not have children, thank God.) Now, his second wife has asked him for a divorce. I really hope he gets some counseling this time and saves their marriage.
@@rayrwyr More specifically, physically cheating would have tarnished his public image and negatively affected his career. Being abusive while emotionally cheating, on the other hand, allowed him to keep his twisted sense of the moral high ground.
i haven't been married, or been in long term relationship, but i have a hard time believing you don't see it coming, or you have been trying really hard, and for a really long time, to actively not pay attention to your partner, to what they tell you, how connected or disconnected they feel. Not asking them, etc. and how you feel, telling them, or trying to, talking about the elephant in the room if one is pulling away, or whatever the problems are
I'm glad you're intelligent enough to know this. I'm tired of seeing all over the Internet that women are usually the initiators of divorce. The men are present in the marriage as well and had to notice it was going up in flames. Honestly, if it wasn't for the way men are financially penalized in a divorce, I truly believe they would file for divorce as often.
I also think the moment your partner ask for separation it's already too late, there have been many opportunities that have already been missed, consciously or not. And it's nice to (try to) improve yourself, i'm not sure about the "it's their loss" though. And I also have to ask, do you have a clear understanding of what caused your wife to ask for a divorce ? Not only the trigger, but the deep unresolved issues, i am genuinely curious
If a woman loves you for who you could be, and then decided its not going to happen, look at it as a blessing. She didn't love you for you. Changing for her under threat of a relationship is idiotic. Be better for yourself, not a woman.
Exercise does help release the body chemistry to help you feel less bad and it least it keeps you distracted and refocus on the things that needs to be done.
When your wife asks for a divorce your marriage is over, end of discussion. If you are smart you have setup multiple Trusts for important items, house cars, etc. If the house was yours before the marraige move her out as soon as posssible. Get her out of the Master Bedroom and let sleep some where else. Do a financial review. Take he r name of of ALL FINANCIAL facets of your life, checking savings, CD's, bitcoin. Then hire. a shark of an attorney. The woman that you married is not the same woman you are divorcing. Be ready for war.
Get a lawyer take the money out the bank go and spend a lot of time in a casino that way in court you can say you gamble it away. Then live your best life and if she wants to come back it's because she is broke and wants your money. That's what I did and to this day I'm told she gets mad when I post a win on social media.
My wife asked for a divorce 3 times but I was able to get her to understand that it was her depression talking. Now she's like a different person and when she looked back on it now it scares her. She was born in Japan and over there you never learn to express their feelings or understand it.
As a man whose wife filed for divorce after a long marriage with kids, my advice is: do not beg her to stay. Chance that she will agree to stay is very low. Instead, show her calmness and take time (like a day) to ponder your future actions. It will be a major change. So get yourself organized and come up with a well-thought out compelling plan for her to agree on how assets and children custody will be divided. Try to avoid involving lawyers if possible (it may cost at least $25K per person on just lawyers). Make your proposal attractive. Be generous and try to make it as smooth, clean, quick as possible. The quicker the better. She will try to provoke you but you must always have self-control.
Did she tell you her reasons? (Just curious.)
@@pthesmith -- no good reason. I guess she was bored. She complained I did not change. She told me that her friends told her that she deserved a better man. Mind that I earned 3 times more than her (she has a PhD and a good job), I paid for 100% of all expenses (including mortgage) for our family, I was fit (ran half marathons), loyal, did more than 50% of the housework/child duties. My problem was: I stupidly believed in 50-50 partnership. Equality does not work. So she felt she needed to dominate me and that caused conflicts. Also, in retrospect, I think she started cheating. She showed several red flags for cheating. But I was too trusting to notice them. She could not stand me any more and filed for divorce (she was preparing for divorce for 5 years). She got a better deal than me in the divorce settlement (thanks to the anti-men legal system).
@@rayrwyr The phd part is an interesting development. I’m in a phd program (public policy) and work at a university. I know very well how consuming the process can be. You are constantly interacting and working with people who are interested in the same things, talk about the same things, and do the same things you are doing. I can easily see it being a factor.
In any case, I’m sorry you’re going through that. I wish you happiness and healing.
@@Random-JustAnother -- I mentioned my failure. You missed: "My problem was: I stupidly believed in 50-50 partnership. Equality does not work.". My failure was I did not take charge. I was not dominating. I did not act as the leader. That is because I wrongly believed in 50-50 partnership.
Most divorces happen these days because the wife is BORED. Boredom in monogamy, lack of excitement of her hoe phase, lack of drama, thrill, chase and anxiety, lack of attention and validation from other exciting males, and missing all the exciting times she had with her ex bfs.. So the woman rebels and causes chaos in marriage, cheats or asks for open relationship.
@@Random-JustAnother It is ridiculously wrong to think a wife files for divorce because the husband was lacking or he failed. A perfect husband is no deterrent for wife to seek divorce in modern society. Legalization of no-fault divorce is the problem.
When my first wife left me for another man, I knew it was going to cost me. I told her if she wanted to leave me for another man, that tells me you think you can do better, so there's no coming back from that, if it doesn't work out, don't come back, keep doing better than me. Then I got a second job as a bouncer at a club and was pulling young hotties, left and right. Her affair lasted about a year, she had a baby with him, then wanted to come back. I reminded her of our conversation when she said she was going to leave.
I wish someone told me this 15 years ago with my first divorce. Even now, it is a good thing to remind myself of.
If you’re wife ask you for a divorce. She as already made here mind and there nothing as a husband you can say or do to change her mind. Tell her to file for divorce. She must hire a lawyer ($5,000) retainer to legally file for divorce. When you get served with the divorce papers. Then you go up and hire your lawyer (5,000) retainer. For yourself retain the best civil lawyer in your county. From this moment forward, Always put your financial interest first.
Get a lawyer, Son........get a real good one. She decided 6-12mths ago to leave and had been planning her exit since then. Finalise property/assets settlement to cut off her ability to get more super, equity, etc. Never take her back if she cheats and I would add, even if she doesn't. Maintain frame and burn the emotions with regular exercise. Life gets better, you just can't see how yet. I concur with his advice, as I got ruined financially, chasing my ex for 7yrs, my biggest regret. I can't stress enough, the importance of regular exercise, to burn off negative energy and build mental resilience.
Why not reconcile in a case where she didn’t cheat?
@@pthesmith because she didn't want to fix the marriage before leaving. She's already cheating in her head and has someone in mind.
@@awestruck9075 Oh, I see. Well I’m sorry that happened to you. I wish you well as you go through this process.
What should you do? Thank her for removing a toxic element in your life. Since the threat of divorce is ever present, any woman you consider for a wife, already consider she will divorce you in the future and what would you want the situation to be regarding any children she has borne for you as well as what you would want regarding your property and wealth.
Western women, especially those who embrace any level or aspect of feminism, do not deserve a husband, period.
Man was not called to try and appease silly dumbed down women: the product of corporate media, hollywood, and now the utter corruption of tik tok, unhinged, or whatever bullshit antisocial platform pops up.
We were created to serve our creator, God....
Jesus Christ
Any one ever hear of Him?
Thanks I’m going through this now. I hit the gym and focus on work. Right now I have to fight my demons and forget my wife.
Brother, take it from someone older who has been through this. It does most certainly get better. Hang in there. You are not alone.
The only time i mentioned divorce is when he grew Marijuana in the 80s. If my kids was taken away because of it.
Honestly is the best way! There thing going on you are not aware of! So if you LOVE HER, BUT SHE NOT RETURNING IT! That mean she already gave her heart to someone else! Even if she denied it! My first didnt ask me for a divorce, until i had my son and we came home to another man in the house. With candle lights burning to make a sense! She walk out of the bedroom in a sexy gowns. All i did was walk back out! Left my son there because he wanted his mother. Even today he try to get me to take his mother back! Told him flat out NO! And he 29 years old! When you are working long hours to take care of family and debts to pay off. It will destroyed your married! Best way is PRENUPTIAL! If it doesn't work then you are NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HER OR HIS DEBTS!
This is great advice. Had my ex taken these steps, it likely would have saved our marriage. (There was no infidelity involved. And we did not have children, thank God.) Now, his second wife has asked him for a divorce. I really hope he gets some counseling this time and saves their marriage.
There was no known infidelity involved.
@@rayrwyr I don’t believe he cheated; not physically, anyway.
@@rayrwyr More specifically, physically cheating would have tarnished his public image and negatively affected his career. Being abusive while emotionally cheating, on the other hand, allowed him to keep his twisted sense of the moral high ground.
@@rayrwyr He knew I would never reveal what was going on at home. The only reason people found out is because I wound up at the hospital.
@@rayrwyr And when it affected his career, who did he blame? Me, of course.
i haven't been married, or been in long term relationship, but i have a hard time believing you don't see it coming, or you have been trying really hard, and for a really long time, to actively not pay attention to your partner, to what they tell you, how connected or disconnected they feel. Not asking them, etc. and how you feel, telling them, or trying to, talking about the elephant in the room if one is pulling away, or whatever the problems are
I'm glad you're intelligent enough to know this. I'm tired of seeing all over the Internet that women are usually the initiators of divorce. The men are present in the marriage as well and had to notice it was going up in flames. Honestly, if it wasn't for the way men are financially penalized in a divorce, I truly believe they would file for divorce as often.
I also think the moment your partner ask for separation it's already too late, there have been many opportunities that have already been missed, consciously or not.
And it's nice to (try to) improve yourself, i'm not sure about the "it's their loss" though.
And I also have to ask, do you have a clear understanding of what caused your wife to ask for a divorce ? Not only the trigger, but the deep unresolved issues, i am genuinely curious
If a woman loves you for who you could be, and then decided its not going to happen, look at it as a blessing. She didn't love you for you. Changing for her under threat of a relationship is idiotic. Be better for yourself, not a woman.
Believe it, she has already hired a lawyer and covered her trail.
When your wife asks you for a divorce....you give it to them
Bye
Don't let the door hit your ass on your way out
Before or after the dancing for joy?
Exercise does help release the body chemistry to help you feel less bad and it least it keeps you distracted and refocus on the things that needs to be done.
When your wife asks for a divorce your marriage is over, end of discussion. If you are smart you have setup multiple Trusts for important items, house cars, etc. If the house was yours before the marraige move her out as soon as posssible. Get her out of the Master Bedroom and let sleep some where else. Do a financial review. Take he r name of of ALL FINANCIAL facets of your life, checking savings, CD's, bitcoin. Then hire. a shark of an attorney. The woman that you married is not the same woman you are divorcing. Be ready for war.
Get a lawyer take the money out the bank go and spend a lot of time in a casino that way in court you can say you gamble it away.
Then live your best life and if she wants to come back it's because she is broke and wants your money. That's what I did and to this day I'm told she gets mad when I post a win on social media.
Why I’ll never get married.
Drain the bank accounts, sell all your stuff and move to Thailand
My wife asked for a divorce 3 times but I was able to get her to understand that it was her depression talking. Now she's like a different person and when she looked back on it now it scares her. She was born in Japan and over there you never learn to express their feelings or understand it.