I am 60, so there are many. I will focus on career. For those not eager to read the novel below, pivoting career even though other people questioned it, and recognizing that I could combine helping others with helping myself. I do hope the following more detailed information will help someone with their more specific struggle. 1. People raised eyebrows when I pivoted my career both early in career (from research to technical services) then from those related lab activities to chemical regulatory compliance. Advice to others: consider pivoting within your current company if possible, but follow your gut. You aren't stuck doing one thing for your whole career. 2. Alone time...LOL! My parents kept pushing me to go out with friends. No curfew. Just let us know who and where and when you will be home. Anything to get my nose out of the books. I am enjoying some alone time today. I usually work in the office, but am working from home the whole day today in order to focus on bigger picture items. (It is lunch now.) 3. Inner world isn't reality: I recommend project planning training and practice to INFJs. Focusing on externally observable facts (bullet points, Gannt charts or other tracking systems) helps remind me of what needs to get done, but (even better) of what I have accomplished. Related to this point is recognizing my blessings. 4. Giving up relationships which are based on sacrifice. This one I still struggle with. But it improved significantly mid-career. I was told by several people that I was too selfless. So I decided to be self-centered (not selfish). Was the worst week or two. My productivity and passion for job plummeted. But they were right. I figured out that I am motivated by helping others so I need to choose those activities which do so and also help me. Mutually sacrificial...LOL! Currently dealing with an underperforming employee and have to remember what an old boss told me, "you aren't responsible for anyone else's career. they are." I now have coworkers/friends who step in when I need help and support, even to the point of making sure I eat!!! (A challenge of mine.) 5. Making yourself proud. That is a bit vague, or maybe just difficult because it is hard to self-praise. You explained it further in your video, but for me it is this...I do love learning from others and improving myself, so I (usually) welcome well intentioned feedback. My bottom line is that I would love having me as a friend. So, I guess, maybe I do.😃 But the point is that knowing you would enjoy having someone like you as a friend is more tangible than is the wording of making yourself proud. Hope this helps someone! 60 years of work on myself.
Listening to AI to help me with my mental health issues, such as suicide and pure madness. I know people dont wanna blieve it, but its true. hiding in the background.
#1 ) Midlife crisis of 2011. #2 ) Quitting drinking, partying, and running the neighborhood. #3 ) Surgeries and overcoming adversity. #4 ) Secret Society. #5 ) getting my feet wet in the business world. #6 ) Getting self-educated in self-help and psychology. #7 ) letting go of my excruciating past. #8 ) Buying my own home. Boom 💣 There it is. I could write a book. 🙏😇💯
Hi - The most important thing I learned from your videos is that I had to quit relationships based on sacrifice - that was a difficult one, but I did it and it changed my life to the better.
I’m getting old. Close to 70. It’s taken me all these years to be true to myself. I am over trying to fit in. I’m almost friendless, now , but I’m so much less anxious. That makes me happy.
2:30 be okay to "look like" a "failure" per society standards; 3:20 you need to feel comfortable with the fact that you need a lot of alone time; 5:18 our inner world is not our reality. Keep your inner world to inspire you but don't rely on it. That my biggest challenge here because as a traumatized child from an abuser alcoholic, of course my inner world was my world but I need to get over that and it's not going to be easy - not that I don't agree with you; 9:16 Give up connections based on sacrifice; 12:16 Focus on making yourself proud So at least I've got 4/5 but I absolutely must get 5/5 in order to get my life around, thank you for your hard work Wenzes!
Hi buddy. I have verbal trauma. From both my parent, as well as someone whom I thought was somewhat of a school friend. This trauma is what keeps me from speaking up. Is there any advice you can give me? :) I'm truly sorry for your abuse. Here are some hugs! \^u^/ I love ya buddy! ^3^ ♥✝
Excellent video Wenzes! 👍🏼 The biggest decision was to unapologetically be myself, and to stop being a chameleon and trying to fit in with everyone. I’m me. And I don’t need to be anyone else. People are either going to love me, or hate me. And either one is ok. I hope you’re having an amazing day my friend. 🙂🌹❤️
I had to be okay that I was deemed a failure as a parent. My values are different than others. Plus I couldn't ask for help if I was trying to please those who thought they know it all.
I can totally relate to being judged as a bad parent, both from my narcissistic ex & my children. After my relationship fell apart because I just couldn't pretend to care anymore I had to stop being a stay-at-home mum (like my ex expected) & get a job. It was hard physically but it gave me back my self esteem & although I've slipped up a few times since I now put ME first. Now at the end of most days I'm proud to be me & it's my opinion that counts. My children (who are now adults) now have to treat me as a human being NOT their personal emotional punchbag. I wish you all the best for the future.
I only found out on October 17th 2022 that I'm an infj. This has been very helpful, and a big shot out to all infj people I hope you find your inner peace and make a big mark on this world. Thank you for this channel I'm learning more each day.
Hello fellow newbie! I just found out 4/19 and it was definitely a life changer, glad I found Wenzes too, her teachings are so helpful for navigating a successful INFJ life
I feel like I just wasted 6 years of my life feeling bad about myself because I internalized the idea that I “can’t hack it” and I’m a failure. When really I was choosing me. I could’ve gotten so much done on achieving my dreams if I had not been so busy trying to prove to others that I’m not a failure and looking for outside approval by doing things I didn’t even want to do. It was all just a waste of my time and energy. I wish I had found the strength to really believe in myself and bet on myself earlier. But everything happens in its own time for a reason.
Do INFJ's often end up in long-term relationships with Narcissists or those with Narcissistic tendencies? I think the Narcissists like having us around, because we are the only type of people that will put up with their B S. and we stay with them, because we are the only personality type who can see through their B.S. - and call them on it. I forgot to mention that we also love trying to fix those with personality disorders. Thoughts?
Five very thought-provoking items here. I'm thinking about some of these that I learned in my pre-Myers Briggs days - especially #2. That when I learned in my freshman year of college that about two months of dorm life was enough to last a lifetime. Also, with #3 - well, I knew that there was more to life than what was going inside my head and I actually learned how to make Fe work for me even though I was not familiar with the terminology. You made an excellent point when you mentioned number #4 - giving up connections based on self-sacrifice. I've learned and (still am) that i need self-love and self care first. I especially appreciated #1 - being willing to face failure. In fact, my systematic assertiveness training book actually taught me away to make this easier to do - namely, when criticized (especially in a manipulative way) simply agree with the truth, the odds or principle of what your critic says. (BTW, the techniques are called "fogging" and "negative assertion," but that's another topic for another time. 🙂). I think those terms can be googled. Taking the Myers-Briggs test in 1984 helped me to understand even better my own personal development. Your five points are right on target.
Thank you, Wenzes! You map out everything in detail very, very well! I am reminded of the Zen Oxherding illustrative: Track and sign, inform the journey. You are an indispensable Guide, for all of us. God Bless you. Stay safe, and be well!
Took me most of my life to stumble into these “truths”. Lessons learned the hard way, but I got here… and I’m still breathing. Life gets easier and more fulfilling if I stay close the guidelines.
The #5 is extremely accurated. I just realized it a weak ago. And when started to put myself first. Do things that scared me. Keep the promised my made tp myself. And follow my value. I feel so proud and so good about myself that I dont care what people really think.
Remember we have the immense treasure of the true vision of the entire world ( at times it is there in the form of a small seed and with time it will grow) that no has this ✨
excellent good wake up video going through alot of adversity at the moment but that did me the world of good. i have been trying to get rid of this pattern of behaviour for years and have lost in watching other peoples videos i have decided to have a 90 day rest
Giving Ideas Away and Saying idk It just Came to MiE say Nothing of It an See it Come too LiGHt in Public an Going Like thts Awesome n Cold- forever a 3d- floor ah t.v,
What are some of the decisions that had the biggest impact on your life as an INFJ?
# 1 ,2 ,4 and 5 so far - really and truly - otherwise I would have been dead by now. Now my last challenge is # 3.
I am 60, so there are many. I will focus on career.
For those not eager to read the novel below, pivoting career even though other people questioned it, and recognizing that I could combine helping others with helping myself. I do hope the following more detailed information will help someone with their more specific struggle.
1. People raised eyebrows when I pivoted my career both early in career (from research to technical services) then from those related lab activities to chemical regulatory compliance. Advice to others: consider pivoting within your current company if possible, but follow your gut. You aren't stuck doing one thing for your whole career.
2. Alone time...LOL! My parents kept pushing me to go out with friends. No curfew. Just let us know who and where and when you will be home. Anything to get my nose out of the books. I am enjoying some alone time today. I usually work in the office, but am working from home the whole day today in order to focus on bigger picture items. (It is lunch now.)
3. Inner world isn't reality: I recommend project planning training and practice to INFJs. Focusing on externally observable facts (bullet points, Gannt charts or other tracking systems) helps remind me of what needs to get done, but (even better) of what I have accomplished. Related to this point is recognizing my blessings.
4. Giving up relationships which are based on sacrifice. This one I still struggle with. But it improved significantly mid-career. I was told by several people that I was too selfless. So I decided to be self-centered (not selfish). Was the worst week or two. My productivity and passion for job plummeted. But they were right. I figured out that I am motivated by helping others so I need to choose those activities which do so and also help me. Mutually sacrificial...LOL! Currently dealing with an underperforming employee and have to remember what an old boss told me, "you aren't responsible for anyone else's career. they are." I now have coworkers/friends who step in when I need help and support, even to the point of making sure I eat!!! (A challenge of mine.)
5. Making yourself proud. That is a bit vague, or maybe just difficult because it is hard to self-praise. You explained it further in your video, but for me it is this...I do love learning from others and improving myself, so I (usually) welcome well intentioned feedback. My bottom line is that I would love having me as a friend. So, I guess, maybe I do.😃 But the point is that knowing you would enjoy having someone like you as a friend is more tangible than is the wording of making yourself proud.
Hope this helps someone! 60 years of work on myself.
Listening to AI to help me with my mental health issues, such as suicide and pure madness. I know people dont wanna blieve it, but its true. hiding in the background.
One and only - leave my comfort zone behind in order to expand myself.
#1 ) Midlife crisis of 2011.
#2 ) Quitting drinking, partying, and running the neighborhood.
#3 ) Surgeries and overcoming adversity.
#4 ) Secret Society.
#5 ) getting my feet wet in the business world.
#6 ) Getting self-educated in self-help and psychology.
#7 ) letting go of my excruciating past.
#8 ) Buying my own home.
Boom 💣 There it is.
I could write a book. 🙏😇💯
Hi - The most important thing I learned from your videos is that I had to quit relationships based on sacrifice - that was a difficult one, but I did it and it changed my life to the better.
I’m getting old. Close to 70. It’s taken me all these years to be true to myself. I am over trying to fit in. I’m almost friendless, now , but I’m so much less anxious. That makes me happy.
2:30 be okay to "look like" a "failure" per society standards;
3:20 you need to feel comfortable with the fact that you need a lot of alone time;
5:18 our inner world is not our reality. Keep your inner world to inspire you but don't rely on it. That my biggest challenge here because as a traumatized child from an abuser alcoholic, of course my inner world was my world but I need to get over that and it's not going to be easy - not that I don't agree with you;
9:16 Give up connections based on sacrifice;
12:16 Focus on making yourself proud
So at least I've got 4/5 but I absolutely must get 5/5 in order to get my life around, thank you for your hard work Wenzes!
Thank you for this! 🙏💖
Hi buddy. I have verbal trauma. From both my parent, as well as someone whom I thought was somewhat of a school friend. This trauma is what keeps me from speaking up. Is there any advice you can give me? :) I'm truly sorry for your abuse. Here are some hugs! \^u^/ I love ya buddy! ^3^ ♥✝
Excellent video Wenzes! 👍🏼
The biggest decision was to unapologetically be myself, and to stop being a chameleon and trying to fit in with everyone. I’m me. And I don’t need to be anyone else. People are either going to love me, or hate me. And either one is ok.
I hope you’re having an amazing day my friend. 🙂🌹❤️
I had to be okay that I was deemed a failure as a parent. My values are different than others. Plus I couldn't ask for help if I was trying to please those who thought they know it all.
I can totally relate to being judged as a bad parent, both from my narcissistic ex & my children. After my relationship fell apart because I just couldn't pretend to care anymore I had to stop being a stay-at-home mum (like my ex expected) & get a job. It was hard physically but it gave me back my self esteem & although I've slipped up a few times since I now put ME first. Now at the end of most days I'm proud to be me & it's my opinion that counts. My children (who are now adults) now have to treat me as a human being NOT their personal emotional punchbag. I wish you all the best for the future.
I only found out on October 17th 2022 that I'm an infj. This has been very helpful, and a big shot out to all infj people I hope you find your inner peace and make a big mark on this world. Thank you for this channel I'm learning more each day.
Hello fellow newbie! I just found out 4/19 and it was definitely a life changer, glad I found Wenzes too, her teachings are so helpful for navigating a successful INFJ life
I feel like I just wasted 6 years of my life feeling bad about myself because I internalized the idea that I “can’t hack it” and I’m a failure. When really I was choosing me. I could’ve gotten so much done on achieving my dreams if I had not been so busy trying to prove to others that I’m not a failure and looking for outside approval by doing things I didn’t even want to do. It was all just a waste of my time and energy. I wish I had found the strength to really believe in myself and bet on myself earlier. But everything happens in its own time for a reason.
Wow!Wenze can not only can find the secret rooms of the INFJ mind, she walks in with a flood light and finds everything you thought were hidden. 😅
Great video! I’m seeing I’ve carried pain at how much alone time I need. Like believing I will never have a home or “my own” family.
INFJ stands for Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging
Do INFJ's often end up in long-term relationships with Narcissists or those with Narcissistic tendencies? I think the Narcissists like having us around, because we are the only type of people that will put up with their B S. and we stay with them, because we are the only personality type who can see through their B.S. - and call them on it. I forgot to mention that we also love trying to fix those with personality disorders.
Thoughts?
We do and for those reasons, but that doesn't mean you can/should take it on and that it won't destroy you. If you can, run. Trust me.
The latest three videos are at another level. Came across this channel at the very right time of life. Ever thankful to Wenzes.
Five very thought-provoking items here. I'm thinking about some of these that I learned in my pre-Myers Briggs days - especially #2. That when I learned in my freshman year of college that about two months of dorm life was enough to last a lifetime. Also, with #3 - well, I knew that there was more to life than what was going inside my head and I actually learned how to make Fe work for me even though I was not familiar with the terminology.
You made an excellent point when you mentioned number #4 - giving up connections based on self-sacrifice. I've learned and (still am) that i need self-love and self care first.
I especially appreciated #1 - being willing to face failure. In fact, my systematic assertiveness training book actually taught me away to make this easier to do - namely, when criticized (especially in a manipulative way) simply agree with the truth, the odds or principle of what your critic says. (BTW, the techniques are called "fogging" and "negative assertion," but that's another topic for another time. 🙂). I think those terms can be googled.
Taking the Myers-Briggs test in 1984 helped me to understand even better my own personal development. Your five points are right on target.
Wenzes, Brasil here!! Thank you for the amazing videos, I love it!! Thanks! *.*
Thank you, Wenzes! You map out everything in detail very, very well! I am reminded of the Zen Oxherding illustrative: Track and sign, inform the journey. You are an indispensable Guide, for all of us. God Bless you. Stay safe, and be well!
Took me most of my life to stumble into these “truths”. Lessons learned the hard way, but I got here… and I’m still breathing. Life gets easier and more fulfilling if I stay close the guidelines.
Thank you Wenzies, all true . I just had to get through regular life a little first. To finally achieve peace of mind and comfort.
The #5 is extremely accurated. I just realized it a weak ago. And when started to put myself first. Do things that scared me. Keep the promised my made tp myself. And follow my value. I feel so proud and so good about myself that I dont care what people really think.
Thank you, thank you so much Miss Wenzes! God bless your soul! ^v^ 💛
I'm not giving up my inner world. It's the only thing keeping me alive. Reality is terrible, why would I want to live in it?
Remember we have the immense treasure of the true vision of the entire world ( at times it is there in the form of a small seed and with time it will grow) that no has this ✨
Very solid advice. Resonates.
Great content
Thank you.
😅 I feel exposed.
💯💕💫awesome
Great video! Totally agree with all your points. 😊💯👍
I love you Wenzes. You're always on point with the very things I seem to be going through, always coming through. Much love❤. Thanks
The bob looks fine, Wenzy👌🏽😍
Totally true.
Thank you Wenzes! Amazing and what i needed as always💕
This is really helpful
excellent good wake up video going through alot of adversity at the moment but that did me the world of good. i have been trying to get rid of this pattern of behaviour for years and have lost in watching other peoples videos i have decided to have a 90 day rest
Thank you for sharing... 🙏❤️🪄
Thank you!
3x gold today, but I stop before bulimia. Really wonderful talks.
It was really helpful. Thank you.
Wow, wow, wow 5 awesome truths nailed! 👏🏻❤️
Wow thank you ❤️
I love you Wenz I really needed this
Thank you
Excellent and true!❤️
To have a termination
Thank you mam!
Alone time is a big thing to me as an INFJ
I think you are amazing
Alhamde liAllah الحمد لله
Going to end any sacrifice vibe. Enough of the bullcrepes. Let their GOD save 'em. I'm just a human.
Brilliant!!
I've been watching lots of Lady Gaga interviews and I think she may be an INFJ. Anyone agree?
⚘️ Yooooo ⚘️
#1.. lol, yes!
How do I tap into my ESTP side?
🙏
But I am being myself. I'm a giver lol!
Your cup might run dry
👏🎉
🙌🏻♥️🌈
Giving Ideas Away and Saying idk It just Came to MiE say Nothing of It an See it Come too LiGHt in Public an Going Like thts Awesome n Cold- forever a 3d- floor ah t.v,
Can you stop making yourself younger than you're really are on your thumbnails? It's so disturbing for me :/
Thank you for creating and sharing!
Thank you
The bob looks fine, Wenzy👌🏽😍