Why Aren't You Supporting Your Peers?
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 5. 09. 2024
- This is an area that's always baffled me but something I've also fallen victim too. There's a lot to unpack here and would love to hear your thoughts on why we don't support our peers...
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Very very true. I had this one guy on my channel always putting me down on different points in my videos: my English, my "always same" music, kick being too loud, whatever... At first I tried to argue and get in touch but then I realized there was just negativity from the other side and I decided not to engage at all anymore. Very relieving. Keep on going brother, much love and support!
"You're no one until somebody hates you"
Thereâs always a few. They donât last long on this channel đ
I was curiouse for myself, and .. I think the kicks too clicky, not too loud .. but it's subjective, good feedback really is gold dust .. treasure it. but never get defensive, never agrue, if you disagree, just at minimam say .. well thats food for thought ty .. or something.
Consider the source. If the opinion is coming from a music supervisor considering your song for a new movie then lower the damn kick!
If it's from a record company executive who wants to sign you to a development deal then lower the damn kick!
If it's a rapper or singer offering you hundreds of dollars for an exclusive license then lower the damn kick!
But if it's just some random guy with a big mouth and a closed wallet then what makes their opinion any better than yours?
@@danielmenzies3255 I don't know about you Denial, but talking personally I put a lot of love into my music, this love can be blinding, and I miss an outside perspective. My limited audiance of close friends / relatives would often never picjk faults in my early work, even though it badly needed it. So the very fact they have not writtin it, and are prepared to say something potentaillly upsetting make it worth considering, not always worth acting on. You will never please everyone and it would be damn foolish to try. Only concidering it if money is involved is a strange attitude. There are other factors, diffrences in experience, perspective, listining enviroments. You don't know me from adam, you could be turning away 6 months of experience or 30+ years. I might have a really good studio, or I might have a phone with cheap earbuds. If I have a really long history of experience and a good studio, why am I investing in your sound ? What do you think your doing I couldn't ?
Phenomenal message. I am a full-time academic who produces music on the side (i.e., a serious hobbyist musician). In my music career, I have never been intentional about sharing my music with family and friends. Occasionally, I post on Instagram or Facebook with no expectations. I don't know if this is due to the fear of rejection from those I love. I just really want to respect peoples autonomy and their right to choose to either support me or not. I also want to keep my creative life separate from my friendships and relationships (if that makes any sense). Music is extremely important to me. With that being said, the greatest encouragement and support along this journey has always came from people who didn't know me. This includes random folks who have sent me 'mind blowing' amounts of money after listening to my music (by the way...I don't say this to boast about my music). To be clear, I have never asked anyone for money or even attempted to raise funds. In todays digital age, I am a strong believer in the idea that people will find you. I have purposed to keep putting my creative outputs into the world without being overly focused on who likes it or not. At the very least, the process is therapeutic and gives me an outlet and a mental escape from my day job.
Sorry for the long post...hahaaa
So true. whatever I'm going through I remember all the nice comments I got on my videos, that people posted but they didn't really have to. Things like saying, "that was helpful, thank you" doesn't cost anything for them but for me it may be that one comment that will make decide not to quit that journey.
I feel this. It goes a hell of a long way huh!?
Thank you for this. I've been feeling this same thing for a long time. One aspect of it I've never quite understood is that if I recommend something to a friend, my music or a friend's music or even a lot of the time a well known artist's music - that recommendation falls of deaf ears. But, if those same friends see someone "important" - whom they have no personal connection to - recommend the same thing, all of of a sudden the recommendation has weight. It's super frustrating! I know I've been both victim and perpetrator of that same behavior. Time to refocus on what matters, time to redouble support for friends and for smaller, local artist that need it. Again, thank you.
Iâve been guilty of this too. Itâs like we need to discover things in our own way.
You always have some real sh*t to say and I appreciate it. I often wonder why this happens to me. It's weird to me sometimes that my friends who I've known for a very long time seem to be the least supportive of my music.
Thank you mate. Yeah, just know that itâs common. Itâs not you :)
Good insight and I'm guilty of that too with some friends if I'm honest (not with musicians but this applies to any venture I guess). I think people categorize others very quickly and the longer you know someone the more cemented the categorization becomes. We form mental models for people and expect them to act "in character". When someone does something that is "out of character" it raises a concern (it might indicate something is wrong with that person). If it is done in a way that is also outside of the norms society as a whole tends to disencourage that behaviour and want the normal equilibrium to be restored. Also people don't want to associate themselves with "weirdos". There are probably evolutionary reasons for both of the above and they operate at a subconscious level.
Lots of good points here!
Excellent followup to your last video on the topic. I think thereâs a lot of passive and veiled resentment, jealousy when it comes to peer/friend/family support (or lack thereof). When you embark on a big project of artistry, and many of your peers may have failed at, or feared embarking on their own life projects, it can manifest in this type of silent reaction or non-reaction. Not always, but often. I see clear examples of it in my context. Youâre making a video about it, so itâs obviously not just in my head. Itâs clearly a common phenomenon. Humans are strange and human peer groups have a lot of weird, complex, dysfunctional dynamics at play. I love music creator underdogs and I go out of my way to engage many of those creators I discover on CZcams.
Most humans don't grow up in communities where people make a living off their music. To them Fame and success is something that only happens for other people. And since they remember the day you crapped your pants in first grade they are never going to see you as one of the "others".
So find the people that do! They're the ones that provide the resources to help you further your career.
That said, just because someone doesn't like your music doesn't mean they don't like you! Not every supporter is going to be a fan.
@@danielmenzies3255 Fair points, Daniel. Iâm not sure I view this as a fame/profession issue, more a social issue. Iâm pretty clear with my peers, family, friends that I donât seek fame and my music is more a hobby, not a profession. I think attention spans in the online world are increasingly fractured and fleeting, which is part of the issue. I grew up in a musical family and most friends are artists or one kind or another, and the silence is deafening at times. Not angry or even disappointed, just perplexed. Thanks for your thoughts.
@@ambientideas1 I understand how it feels to be rejected by an artistic community. Especially when you throw your heart and soul into everything you play.
Perhaps that's part of the problem.
A hobbyist looks at a stage and says "here's my chance to express my talents and bear my soul to the world." A professional sees that same stage and says "here's my chance to cover next month's rent."
Neither attitude is right or wrong, but they aren't compatable. That might be why you're getting an indifferent response from your peers.
If I have a choice between seeing my friend DJ in his basement or seeing a stranger DJ at a club I will take the stranger every time. That's stranger might be someone who can put me on, or maybe they can fill in for a gig that I can't do. I already know from the get-go that the strangers in it for the money and my friend isn't.
By the way, short attention spans are great! When people are rapidly flipping channels in their minds it becomes a lot more likely that they'll land on your station. The trick is figuring out how to grab them when you have them.
This is highly valuable real talk my friend! I started wondering how I have come to terms with not expecting support from my peers, like is it that I am simply refusing to ask for help? No, it is the same reason I barely ever comment on a video. We don't support by standard. But we should, for things we vibe with. I vibe with this vid and the points you make, so have my full support mate!
You got my support! I'm writing music as a hobby and to keep me sane. You helped me a great deal with your videos, to not give up, to have the courage to create and share. Keep up the great work you do!
Glad I could help!
I've been thinking a lot about this recently, you've hit the nail on the head here!
Iâve been trying to see this as a positive thing hey. Which sounds weird. But, seeing if this can actually be a good thing, in that it kind of makes me know my audience really isnât right around me, itâs out there⊠somewhere and itâs a great motivator to go find it!
Thanks for your content, you are knocking it out of the park.
Keep up the great work (probably the best music-related channel I've run into in years)
Thanks so much! â€
super motivational video, thanks for making it seem more possible to pursue the dream
Glad it was helpful
Hey man, been a minute since your last video, I hope you're doing well.
Your authenticity, down-to-earth-ness, and relentless desire to express your creativity into the world gives me hope to nurture my own sense of creativity and expression which has been feeling very empty as of late.
Hang in there buddy. Iâm nurturing the creative side of my own as we speak. Iâll be back to CZcams with a vengeance, just focusing on other areas atm. Thanks for the kind words.
I do agree with guts n courage... I haven't posted any music for like 10-15 years... I do produce for myself and puting it up on my cloud, only thing that goes out of my room are mixes and masters for clients.
true words have been spoken! Massive respect!
For the longest time I wouldn't even make the effort to click the like button on a video even if I really did like it. And honestly I have no reason for why. But then I got bent one day that nobody was doing that for me and I was like "oh". It really is the least a person can do to show their appreciation. Love all that you do and hope you continue with these as I get a lot of value from them.
Super interesting. Great realisation though :)
I am legitimately sorry I have watched so much of your videos and never bothered to like and leave a comment. Fixing that now! Going to go and rewatch everything from the last 6 months because your videos are great reminders of not falling into rabbit holes including my own want for people to hear my music. Iâm sorry. Keep posting this stuff please.
Haha, no need to apologise. But just a video a felt was necessary to make :)
@@mredrollo still trying to catch up on my off time but very encouraging content all around!
I think there is also this certain very tricky balancing act between pragmatism and cynicism. The sad truth it that in any moment of time the amount of peers who are "not yet there" and need help, is always way bigger than what any of us can actually help and give attention to. Hence you end up in a situation where you help some, but always feel like you didn't do enough because you see way more people around you in need of help which you didn't give them and can't. Especially if you are spending a lot of effort and time growing and building your own career which is not yet there either. There are also sadly some people especially in artist scene that tend to be quite bad at self reflection and for some reason or other also feeling that they are entitled in some way to receive the support from peers, even if they do not actually give anything back. I think this relates to the "artist identity". Anyone with strong artist identity tends to promote their own self worth and speciality and that of their creations, and downplay others. This is also one of the reasons artists tend to bicker, because everyone tries to be the one in the limelight.
I've tried many ways of supporting my peers, and almost always have run into some of these troubles, got mentally hit bad and had to take a step back and consider my options. There is also the problem that if you give all the relevant information, all the tools and all the knowledge to somebody how he can make everything work as well as you, the chances are, most of the people still won't be able to reach your prowess, because it's not about the tools or the knowledge or the help, at the end of the day it's the inspiration, it's the work ethic, it's the mentality and *luck*. Hence very rarely any help leads to as good results as people hope for and this also leads to frustration and toxicity.
I think it is important to be supportive and helpful, but not to an excess. It is also important to be mindful and careful regarding what is the best way to help and what is not. It is often very hard to see until you run into trouble.
I'd say the best thing to do is to focus on own process and actively not downplay anybody else's. If all of us strive to be a good person with virtues in place, that is probably the best help we can give to others by just building a community that doesn't revolve around self worth and a delusion of a grandeur.
A really HUGE part of not supporting my peers, is the algarythms hide it, they post and months later I might find out. Someone sends me a link on discord , or a dm, of course I interact.
This is true for sure!
Fear. It's really easy to regress to a scarcity mentality. You see others doing what you want to do and all kinds of primitive emotions start bubbling up, especially when you're struggling to get your footing. Eventually you learn that it's almost always a benefit to support people instead of letting your ego and fear get in the way. At the end of the day, nobody likes an asshole. So even if you get to where you want to go you won't have anyone to enjoy it with and no network to keep you from falling on your ass if things turn sour.
Thanks for sharing
Maybe unfortunately, I feel that what youâre saying is very true! I can confirm it from my own experience, itâs not so easy to get out there :) for me a solution is to keep focusing on the craft no matter what and to keep improving until itâs obvious, trying to encourage other musical inclined friends along the way :)
Itâs true alright
What's up man. Why no videos? Always a good source of inspiration for myself
Look again đ
I think part of it is these peers are jealous and what to see you fail because they dont what you to be successful or be similar to people they follow or are fans of. These people are followers and probably not even creative.
Jealousy has come up a lot in the comments for sure.
What happend mredrollo? Your content was super inspiring. It helped me to finish and release my ep. I miss your weekly videos :/
Iâm still here mate. Iâll be back at some stage. Just focusing on other areas of life đ
I have been thinking about this too... for many years! I have been supporting my friends at university when they were getting their degrees in Music while I struggled and failed at learning to read and write music... So I quit! Today, at 64, I can compose and create music with a computer, a software (Logic Pro X) and a few pieces of gear. But, the most important part of my awakening came from listening to you-tubers like "Dancetech", and others teach me how to use these technologies to make and publish MY musical ideas. I totally get what you are saying and it is a tragedy that so many of us creators suffer from jalousy and envy and can be a support to others who are doing something. I will not give up because I am ignored or perceived as a nobody. I am so grateful to everyone on You Tube who care and share what they know to all of us. I give my thumbs up every time. Thank you for this nice pensée!
Appreciate you sharing mate. Cheers.
Youâre so authentic and honest. Really good âcontentâ and unique. Music is not only about techniques and plugins. People, emotions, mental health, strategy, staying on the course is so much more important. Thanks for the vid mate!
Appreciate it â€ïž
1:30 this is described in marketing too. It has something to do with certainty and then maybe jealousy. People will rather support big known brand then local known entrepreneur. It's multiple things at the same time but I see this over and over again. It must be the same with artists.
It really is!
If enjoy a track or a video, I hit like. If I really like it or have a strong opinion on it, I comment.
I dont need much support, but what does surprise me a little is how few questions people ask. Its like, I can help people - and I'm really keen to help them. I've got one follower who is regularly asking advice and for help - he gets it!
Don't be too proud, or too shy to ask questions đ
Great advice!
Love your videos; it feels like you're speaking from the heart and trying to teach us all something each time!
The only way to. Thanks! â€
Yessir! That odd dynamic has been the toughest part of my journey, as it is the most personal and disappointing - accepting the fact that while on socials, I could post some music I poured everything I had into, only to receive a dismissive smattering of likes / comments from the many hundreds of real contacts I have, whilst someone else posts a bikini pic (or a pic of their lunch) and that gets 100 times the attention. I never accepted that but I have moved on and realize it as fact and part of this journey. Hopefully it does not deter anyone else as it has only galvanized my resolve.
Gives us reason to focus on what we do and not how people react. Nothing else matters but focusing on whatâs most important to us.
hitting the truth again ⊠straight on the beat. Love this channel and content. Thank you, full support and onwards and upwards. đđđ
Appreciate it!
unbelievably real
Thanks a lot for making your videos! They are always extremely relatable. Really appreciate your time and help to all the music community!
Thank you!
We havent seen a show by you in a while mate. Hope you are well and its because youve been too busy with other aspects of your carrer. All the best as ever and looking forward to your next post.
Certainly have mate. Turned 40, had a wedding and have just been enjoying focusing on making more music.
@@mredrollo Happy birthday mate all the best.
The message in this video is very timely for me. I recently finished mixing and Mastering a clients (1st) Album something that he has be passionate about for the last 20 years. Now he has released it on Streaming services and shared on his social media... and he is a little disappointed that the is Radio Silence from some of the people that he would expect the most support from. This is what I said in reply.. which is not 100% the same as your message but its pretty damn Close: [REPLY]: "Yeah its a weird human trait that's cropped up in the last few decades, especially online. I think its a bit narcissistic. people value themselves too highly. almost Dunning-Kruger effect. and in any way supporting the work of somebody else in a similar field.. is TAKING from them. so they say nothing. Its spurs from jealousy.. The "Crabs in a bucket" one tries to escape.. and then gets pull back down by the others. I really think many people Hate so see other people find joy in a passion.. and actually execute something through to completion.. it makes them face their own mediocrity. when really.. if they wanted to.. they could spend the time, effort, energy.. and networking to accomplish something. But no. that's too much work. The world is a place full of instant gratifications. Which is why I started not caring about "Friends opinions". People are more selfish than we like to imagine
Thanks for sharing mate. I hear you!
@@mredrollo well. One suggestion I gave him was.. send it to thier partners.. get them to like it.. it'll be sure to get on thier nerves. Lol
Crabs in a bucket. Youre my favorite music youtuber - hope to see you get back to making videos
I just did.
@@mredrollo And it's just the message my little half assin' ass needs to hear!
As Morrissey said - âWe hate it when our friends become successful". Unfortunately it's true. Humans are hard-wired to be hyper aware of status and where they sit in the hierarchy amongst their peers.
Havenât heard that quote before. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks
The moment , you donât care what other people think about your music, and make it for yourself. youâll get a lot further and it will come off authentic ,more real and therapeutic. And if I come across anybodyâs music, I like I subscribe and tell them why I like it. Anyways, this really resonated with me.
I feel like you should care what people think, but only if they're giving you money or applause. At the end of the day you're making music for your fans, not your friends.
@@danielmenzies3255 I make music for me if people like it cool, but if you notice everyoneâs first album is the best.Because they made it for themselves but if you do get fame and success you do have a responsibility, on the continent you put out that reaches the masses.
@@SonicVibe it's great that you make music that's meaningful to yourself, but when you step on stage who are you performing for? When somebody streams your song on Spotify whose speakers does it play through?
The reason everybody's first album sounds the best is because it takes 10 years of figuring out how to please an audience before you can even get to that point. By then it's pretty much a greatest hits album.
With the second album it's just the best of what you wrote last year.
@@danielmenzies3255 I get it to me it just means I could get paid to make music for myself which is cool and all. but once you get on a major label and start performing on stage, you gotta deal with the illuminati. and the truth is if youâre not in the club, youâll never make it to that stage. itâs not talent that makes it to the top. Itâs signing your soul over to the devil in blood. Thereâs barely any artist out or music videos without occult imagery heavily in it and if you want to boost the algorithm, thatâs the key some of us just donât want to. Or you can slide down a pole and give the devil a lap dance like Lil Nas X. every video, either fire, covering one eye index finger over your lips for secrecy, or triangles, and all seeing eye đïž or mocking god . and you canât take the money with you when ya die. And youâre not supposed to not chase idols, but everybody works for a Grammy or a little statue thatâs gold. Or worships Kim Kardashian I mean how they made a song called wap. đ€Šââïž itâs the same with actors movies Hollywood they all in the club and side with the devil remember, the Devil made music in heaven, when he was still Lucifer not satan so of course, heâs gonna use Music to trick people.
@@SonicVibe I think you have a few misconceptions.
For starters, you don't sign a deal and then get on stage. It's very much the opposite! Normally you have to rock dozens, if not hundreds, of different stages before any record company knows you exist.
When talking about the Illuminati and demonic imagery I would like to point out that there are plenty of Christian artists with multiplatinum records and legendary careers. People like Amy grant, Mahalia jackson, creed, jars of Clay, Kirk franklin, anyone with the last name winan etc. It's also worth noting that little Nas X's lap dance left the devil with a broken neck.
Anyway, even if you're right about having to sell over your soul in blood to have a hit record, who says you need to have a hit record? I'm pretty sure you've never heard of me, or even know anybody who does, but I'm still making a decent living as a DJ.
Not rich, not famous, not touring the world, and although all of that would be nice I don't really need to.
nicely said
One of my favorite videos so far
Thanks so much!
I aplaude your reasoning. Iâm also a content creator and asked myself the same question, why the closest people are the ones less interested and ignore to acknowledge your efforts although being able to witness at close. I hate to think is the human condition but seem to go towards they route. On the up side I believe it makes us even more determined and willing, is like we need to prove it or something like that. A bit of a head fuck all of it!đđźđ
It certainly it. I think itâs mostly fuelled by peoples own jealousy / insecurities and thatâs not an easy one to undo!
1000% true, I only get a couple of likes when I post a new track and that's ok my music is not mainstream so they are clicking for me not the release and I get it, funny thing is when one of my tracks go viral they are all over it. I recently purchased your tracks, firstly because I loved your music but more importantly I want to support the artist, be kind and thoughtful people đ
Yeah, the curse of âpreselectionâ
If I could đđ»this x 1000 I would.
I try hard to support other musicians. Being honest, I have an ulterior motive in doing this, i.e. in the hope that they reciprocate, but I also genuinely want to support others, especially if their music/content clearly shows a lot of care and effort. Unfortunately about 95% of the bands I support don't reciprocate. Maybe that says something about my music, but whatever the case, it's a bit deflating.
Absolutely. Supporting and not competing should be the norm. Itâs sad that itâs not that way for many in the early stages.
đŻ
Thank you!!
@@mredrollo Your contributions are extremely important in this media landscape.
I noticed a nasty pattern of behavior on social media. Other artists will follow you maybe also do a combo of like a bunch of posts, then follow. After about 2-3 days after you follow them back, they unfollow you, in exactly about that time frame.
These people are just trying to up their follow count and have no interest in engaging with other artists. I think itâs a little dirty to be doing this with other artists, especially if youâre in a very similar genre.. itâs a great way to burn a bridge not being authentic by following an artist for the sake of getting a follow back. I think this tactic is burning a bridge to a degree and if you do it within certain circles youâre really hurting yourself. If you keep doing it donât expect youâll get authentic engagement from other artists that noticed they were just a number to you.
Yeah, that tactic is see through as hell. Instant Block đ
Interesting discussion. I'm not sure if this is a controversial thing to say but... I wonder if jealousy plays a role ? I have been guilty of being jealous of other people on socials, and I'm sure it's the same for some people
Oh, đŻ. Jealously plays a huge part for sure.
â€â€â€â€â€â€â€
Which peers are you most excited to elevate right now?! x
The ones who work hard, are consistent and put others above themselves. They are a rare breed, but theyâre out there đ
@@mredrollo Please name a few so we can check their stuff out and support!
Like listening you
Thanks!
you seem like such a cool guy, i strugggle with life, i just don't want it and yet here i am, i cant emagine being a cancer survivor. you must be very different from me. i listen intently but i just dont see any hope.
Thanks!
đđđœ
I donât know if this will make sense, but if youâre the sort of person who will call out your âpeersâ (Iâm unclear if this is the same thing as friends in this context) publicly on CZcams, then maybe thatâs why they didnât want to support you in the first place (I.e. the tendency to do something like that may exhibit itself in other things too). Iâm trying not to be a twat, but itâs at least a possibility?
As he said in the video, this seems to be common.
Itâs a difficult conversation to have but it might call out some peoples bullshit. Thatâs a good thing IMO. When we see the world as an abundant place for us all to thrive and succeed and not compete, there will be harmony.
Honestly most of the small time youtubers I followed have narcissistic/hypocritical tendencies, even the nicest ones. Money and fame is the only thing they really want, some admit it openly some don't. If they ever make it big, it's very likely that they'd forget who helped them get there. Most youtubers just want to play games (i.e. do nothing) and expect donations. Their focus is always on those who donate the most, others are neglected. If they have communities those are usually toxic AF. NOT all youtubers are like that obviously, but most are.
Yeah, there are a lot out there. But itâs not all bad.
Completely disagree!
Peers are not obligated to comment on your posts, buy your merch, or go to your shows. It's not their job to encourage you. That's what fans are for.
If you want to get support from your peers look for ways to benefit each other.
Maybe they're struggling to get shows and your third act just canceled. Bring them on stage. Maybe they have a connection to a studio you're trying to get into. Volunteer to set up the mics at their next session.
At the end of the day these are your peers, not your friends. Every now and then you'll find that rare person who is both, but that's when you really have to watch your back!
Itâs a dog eat dog world ainât it đ
@@mredrollo đ in this game today's best friend becomes tomorrow's most fierce competitor. That's why I don't hang out with too many DJs, but when it's time to talk shop we know how to find each other.
âđ„đ„đ€đ„đ€đ„đ„â
No word from you in 3 months. Everything ok? :)
Everything is great. Donât worry, Iâll be back soon
Haven't any peers.
Something tells me you need my videos more than anyone.
Absofuckinglutly !, That's why I love our channel on mredrollo+, nothing but peer support, created friendships and sharing the â€ïž Since joining having experienced the value of peer support,I've increased my interaction with others on other channels , chur !
So good to hear mate!!