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Top 5 Things Narcissists Do When They LOSE

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  • čas přidán 18. 08. 2024
  • In today's video Jill explains the most common things Narcissists will do when they lose or fail at something.
    Jill Wise, otherwise known as The Enlightened Target, is a life long survivor of narcissistic abuse. She was raised by a malignant narcissist and married to a malignant narcissist, she has endured years of parental alienation, has repeatedly been targeted by narcissists throughout her life. She has an intimate understanding of all aspects of narcissistic abuse and Cptsd. She uses her experience and what she has learned to help educate others and bring awareness to narcissistic abuse. She is also a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach and works with clients all over the world heal from the trauma of narcissistic abuse, parental alienation and Complex Ptsd.
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Komentáře • 68

  • @williamlindner3984
    @williamlindner3984 Před 11 měsíci +57

    Had this situation on a job for many years.. It was a narcissist "community", not just one narcissist. If they can't control you, the gaslighting, lies,and outright bullying are breathtaking.. I think a lot of people develop chronic illness and depression,etc over this stuff.. If you don't recognize it for what it is, you will internalize it.

    • @wayneelliott1180
      @wayneelliott1180 Před 11 měsíci +7

      Yes, the advice is to not take the smears seriously which is difficult when they are corroding opportunities and destroying us word by word. It''s a tough lesson to learn. I don't know how they can dare look in the mirror.

    • @pjlee2053
      @pjlee2053 Před 11 měsíci

      It is horrible at work when you are overly fearful anxious & stressed just getting to work & with each interaction with a narcissist manager. I never know when he will unload…I like my job otherwise sadly but feel I need to leave. 😢

  • @duromusabc
    @duromusabc Před 11 měsíci +15

    I went no contact with my narcissist in laws for 2 years now - I feel happier now - it works !

  • @camilleizzo2811
    @camilleizzo2811 Před 11 měsíci +27

    The abandonment and combination of no contact was actually the greatest blessing me and my children could have had during this horrific period of our life. It was bad enough, the abuse that I experienced (mental and physical)as well as the abuse that was inflicted by this psychopath narcissist on my children, (mental and physical), it was difficult for them to wrap their head around that they were most likely never going to see their father again, but as time has gone by, we’ve realized that it was the best thing that could’ve happened to us as a family it allowed us to move on And allowed us to move on and get better. We are exponentially in a better place because he’s not around and he has a new supply.

  • @jeffsmith8197
    @jeffsmith8197 Před 11 měsíci +19

    My oldest brother was a narcissist and one year slandered me because I wouldn't lend him or co-sign a bank loan for $30K. He had already screwed me out of over $14K in the past. In retaliation, he very quietly and slowly went around social circles, and family saying I was a closet homosexual and possibly a pedophile. It was months before I discovered this info and never spoke to him again. Happily for the world, he committed suicide in early 2001.

    • @nicholashousmans97
      @nicholashousmans97 Před 11 měsíci +2

      Send him a demand letter and sue him if he refuses to pay!!

  • @wayneelliott1180
    @wayneelliott1180 Před 11 měsíci +13

    The narc that has hunted me for 5 years now tried to have the neighbourhood pile on me by claiming i was stalking her (she was describing herself of course.) She failed, exploded, and committed herself to a psych ward for several weeks while claiming terrifying fear of me. Her dedication to destroying me because i know exactly what she is, is relentless and astounding, and I often wonder what she might have achieved if she'd directed all that energy into something creative. I haven't acknowledged her at all for nearly 4 years.

  • @donnalehman1832
    @donnalehman1832 Před 11 měsíci +10

    So true! The best thing they can do for you is to abandon and leave permanently. I wish that would have happened for me. Everyone is much better off if they just leave and never look back. That's definitely the best thing they could ever do for their children.

    • @caroleminke6116
      @caroleminke6116 Před 11 měsíci +3

      I had to gray rock that route out of hell… he just disappeared & it’s great to have peace on my home ✨

  • @allentempleton2429
    @allentempleton2429 Před 11 měsíci +13

    This is the most accurate explanation of what happens when a narcissist is exposed and the reason I remained in bondage for so many years. My wife had detailed exit plans that would be deployed if I tried to escape. She would guarantee that I would be arrested for some very heinous crimes that I didn't commit. In my line of work a conviction isn't necessary to end my career and of course I would loose visitation with my children. I tried testing the waters once and quickly found myself being questioned by the police. She was smart , dangerous and has to always win.

  • @barbpaq
    @barbpaq Před 11 měsíci +5

    1. 1:49 Any and all evidence will be attacked. Whoever supplied the evidence will be smeared, bullied or blackmailed into submission.
    2. 3:05 If cannot overcome the evidence or bearer of the evidence they will look for a scapegoat to blame. Preferably someone who can't defend themself.
    3. 4:29 If unsuccessful at hanging blame on the bearer of evidence or someone who can't defend themself, they'll hang even their most loyal flying monkey out to dry.
    4. 5:29 If they "go down" they will attempt to take everyone down with them. They will try to make it look like both parties are equally to blame.
    5. 6:20 Leaves everyone behind and starts a new life. This is probably the best possible outcome.

  • @Davedontcare
    @Davedontcare Před 11 měsíci +6

    So difficult when theres a child involved. Thank you so very much more than you will ever know. You've helped me a great deal and words will never be able to express how grateful i am for you. You are a healing hand to the wounded soul!

  • @m.f.richardson1602
    @m.f.richardson1602 Před 11 měsíci +7

    Thank you.
    I know most of this behavior.
    But, i got through it.
    And doing great.
    Peace ❤

  • @christophermannmanno6318
    @christophermannmanno6318 Před 11 měsíci +11

    I love your work Jill ! And your passion and commitment, and especially your heart ♥

  • @baconsalad1891
    @baconsalad1891 Před 11 měsíci +2

    4:16 - or other parents children !!! - It’s such a spectrum but I think we can all agree that this is the behaviour of a women/man child ?

  • @RWB20
    @RWB20 Před 10 měsíci +3

    Thanksgiving is coming. God help me. My anxiety is rising. Entire family of narcissists (and flying monkeys). Father, stepmother, and sister tell everyone I'm crazy - including the restaurant hosts - so bizarre. The custody battle I lost to a pedophile narcissist - they made sure I lost by THEIR slander - is just another boost to my father and stepmother narcissist's lie that - she's crazy. The two of them have stalked me around the country and made me lose jobs. I know this sounds nutz, but they'll pay people to stalk me, and the people that are around me would sell out anyone. I found one church where I found decent human beings - ONE. Most people will do anything for money. It's truly disturbing.

  • @calminthestorms
    @calminthestorms Před 10 měsíci +2

    My sister is the narcissist and she is currently trying to destroy me .

  • @aquagirl9228
    @aquagirl9228 Před 11 měsíci +2

    This is EXACTLY how it ends! Thank you Jill for calling them out ❤️

  • @dazpearce2096
    @dazpearce2096 Před 11 měsíci +2

    great content as always - I still remember the 'out of the family' phone call on Boxing Day 2004. The one nice thing they did...

  • @xtianrondow3881
    @xtianrondow3881 Před 11 měsíci +4

    Thank you Jill ❤

  • @prime-rib
    @prime-rib Před 6 měsíci

    She is in total meltdown right now. She even tried to abduct my son during her supervised visitation with him. I have no doubt that her plan was to leave the state with my son. After watching this video, I'm truly hoping she sticks with the plan and abandons everything now that there is no way for her scheme to work. I'll find out Friday as that is the hearing for her contempt of court charges.

  • @debbievoss3496
    @debbievoss3496 Před 11 měsíci +1

    Yep, they really like winning. They need to be nicer to people so they could actually be winners, for a change.

  • @zefzima
    @zefzima Před 4 měsíci

    thank you nerdcity for showing this as a video source :)

  • @ladyvirgo013
    @ladyvirgo013 Před 9 měsíci

    Im going through a long,nightmare divorce currently. My husband of 12 years blindsided me with a brutal discard, slithered off to live with the secretary from his work and he filed. Hes drug the divorce out by not turning in the discovery. These people are ruthless

  • @baconsalad1891
    @baconsalad1891 Před 11 měsíci +1

    Amazing!! Perfect

  • @GodsChildTM
    @GodsChildTM Před 11 měsíci +3

    My ex used to get mad over losing a board or card game with the kids.😂

    • @MotleyShrew-iz9ms
      @MotleyShrew-iz9ms Před 10 měsíci

      Oh my gosh YAAS! During quarantine lockdown my 13yp girl and 20 yo son tried to play an innocent game of spoons with their Malignant Grandiose Narcissist Father. and the longer the game went on without him grabbing a spoon, the MADDDDer and angrier and more explosive he became! I shut down the game entirely , raked everything into a basket off the table and he proceeded to have a rageful fit over us "coercing him into playing the game" and even accused us of *?collectively cheating against him so that he would lose‽*? WHAT?
      It was just spoons, a childhood game of spoons w/playing cards on a weekday night.... just trying to feel normal for just a minute after being trapped in the house with his rules that we couldn't even drive to the park or walk around outside even with masks on but he was going to work every day seeing other people going to shops and stores interacting with other adults and we had been cooped up in the house for 67 days (at that point) me homeschooling my children and supporting our son doing his College work online and being isolated from his friends.
      My Narc BULLY Abuser Loved keeping us isolated--- quarantine was a HIGH for mine--- making all the rules, controlling us behind closed doors work me no way out-- no church services, no movie theater, library or gym, fro-yo shop to go to- to escape him!
      He kept is prisoner 8 more weeks after the quarantine ban was lifted😢
      My grandiose malignant narcissist husband took away our son's PlayStation at the onset of quarantine because he had a low "B" in an A&P (pre-med) graduate level biology class and it cut our son off from all of his friends. 20 year old guys usually don't just pick up the phone and call and say 'hey how are you doing emotionally bro?'
      ... No, but they will talk each other's ears off playing online games with earphones on and a speaker. Share things with each other in that open forum environment .
      I could see that my son was showing signs of depression and anxiety for the first time in his life and it was not only because of the pandemic fear; & fear of his father, it was from being cut off from his friends so I gave him back his PlayStation and stood up to my husband about it and it was a knock-down drag-out fight that became physical like so many preceeding it.
      NARC/ ABUSER / BULLY did not care that our son was suffering mentally and emotionally for 2 and 1/2 months with no connection with his buddies spring the scariest time in his history. Only an occasional text from buddies that they were all online with one another texting him to join and all he could say was "I'm a grown man in college and my father took my PS5 away."
      Narcs are Crazy & make everyone around them miserable!

    • @MotleyShrew-iz9ms
      @MotleyShrew-iz9ms Před 10 měsíci

      I also just want to add to all the young men and women out there dating in high school or college when it gets you know serious you really like this person play some board games with them play spoons with them and another couple and just monitor how they react when they don't win. Bc this IS TRULY WHO THEY ARE--- a narc losing cannot mask the evil that's within them.
      I missed every red flag dating this dumb*** in college. He and I with our mutual male best friend and his girlfriend and me and the mutual best guy friend were really really close and knew each other really really well, which threatened my narcissist, which obviously at the time I did not know he was a narcissist I didn't know what that word was in the 1990s! We tried to play the game Taboo, you know where you give Clues to your partner and they have to guess the word on the card that you're not allowed to say supposed to say on the card.
      So during the game we switched partners and me and my guy bestie in life since kindergarten were partners and we were winning every single round because we knew so much about each other we were saying one and two phrase words and clues and just zooming through those cards and it made my future spouse so very angry right there at my parents kitchen table with my mom present in the kitchen and his excuse was just I'm competitive I can't help it I'm such a competitor you know that's all it is I'm a competitor I play ball I play baseball and football and basketball and I'm I'm just a competitor so that's all it is that's how he tried to play off his Mass hysteria at me and our mutual buddy wiping the table with him and my buddies girlfriend.
      It felt uneasy and uncomfortable but I was young in love and stupid and I believed the competitive gaslighting speech that he made.
      But in thinking back I remember one of us suggesting that we play another game like The Game of Life and he threw a fit that we all had to watch a movie and he refused to play another game he said and I quote: "I'm done being competitive for the night" and what he meant was: ["■ I'm done trying to hide the evil manipulating bast**d that I really am it's exhausting ■"]
      And in posting this just to help other people please I implore you play board games with the people in your life not just a romantic partner your siblings your best friends your parents even there's narcissists everywhere and once you're aware that that's what's wrong with them in their brain you can research and learn how to deal with them and if they are so malignant as many as you can cut them out of your lives before you spend 25 years in a relationship with them thinking that there's something wrong with yourself through all of the emotional mental and physical abuse.
      My Narc Bully once flipped over a Monopoly board supposedly by accident while getting up from the kitchen table to supposedly refresh his drink but he did it to end the game with my sister and brand new brother-in-law this is before we were married. He could not take it that he was not winning not on top so he flipped the board upside down the pieces went everywhere. He was so satisfied with himself after it happened no he did not crawl around on his hands and knees like we did to pick up all the pieces he went to the freezer and made himself an ice cream sundae while we cleaned it up.
      ACTIONS SPEAK VOLUMES folks, play board games with your family friends new friends that you don't know if you can trust yet with spilling your heart out to them to them and their actions will show you Way Beyond what words can Gaslight you.
      And remember, Narcissists are gifted Actors- they're Charming and wordsmiths in cunning like a fox and they manipulate so don't fall for that gaslighting hoovering love bombing bs. Watch their behavior when they're playing board games>>> they cannot hide their EVIL when they lose!

  • @GreenTea3699
    @GreenTea3699 Před 11 měsíci +1

    Yes. Yes. Yes!
    Thank you for this video

  • @JulieSnowstudiojuliesnow3698
    @JulieSnowstudiojuliesnow3698 Před 11 měsíci +2

    1) All evidence will be attacked, along with the character of whoever supplied the evidence
    2) they will choose a different scapegoat, someone who is innocent , vulnerable and defenseless. A child. The will smear that child
    3) They will blame their most loyal flying monkeys
    4) They will try to convince that all parties were equally responsible with them, the abuser
    5) If they are unsuccessful at blame shifting, they will cut all of their losses and abandon everyone, including those that love them
    They will never accept any form of accountability. Ever.
    It will always be the fault of someone or something else. They will always create a facade for themselves of being the hero, the victim or the martyr.

  • @c.mareeharris4615
    @c.mareeharris4615 Před 11 měsíci +1

    Thank you!

  • @TRUTHorSTFU
    @TRUTHorSTFU Před 11 měsíci +4

    This is a perfectly accurate description of Trump in his current legal situation.

    • @missylearned9821
      @missylearned9821 Před 11 měsíci

      You should get out of the left/right paradigm. Neither side at that level even knows you exist.

    • @TRUTHorSTFU
      @TRUTHorSTFU Před 11 měsíci +2

      @@missylearned9821 You should not give DEPLORABLE advice where and when it's neither solicited nor welcome, ESPECIALLY on a channel about narcissists and their behavior. It makes you stand out like a sore thumb.

    • @kiradelarochefoucauld7499
      @kiradelarochefoucauld7499 Před 11 měsíci

      Actually, you are a typical gaslighting victim by the Deep State Communists that overthrew the US Federal Government, 2020. If you were educated on the matter you would be aware of this. But you will eventually learn the Truth, as it IS coming out.

  • @wallymarcel1
    @wallymarcel1 Před 11 měsíci +2

    Obviously, you’ve met my family.

  • @Polina-ji4fe
    @Polina-ji4fe Před 11 měsíci +2

    It's so funny that they think this way when in reality they're the only one competing LMAO

  • @user-xl4ld8jj6y
    @user-xl4ld8jj6y Před 7 měsíci +1

    Is it a Hoover when he sends text messages after he discarded me saying he wants to be friends? I’ve gone no contact

  • @ul6909601
    @ul6909601 Před 11 měsíci +2

    My ex ... a narcissist...is now a "Dr." Therapist. You would think she realizes this...or her therapists... realize this! My child is getting the point (now 21) and has returned from alienation after years. He was literally brainwashed.
    1. Be careful about therapists.
    2. I think Jill is very on target.
    Finally, if someone has to disrespect this us with Trump complaints or something like that...we know who needs a therapist. From a lifelong Democrat.

  • @QigongQi
    @QigongQi Před 11 měsíci +1

    What is a "normal person"? My mother is like hiw Jill describes and my two sisters..Good grief

  • @deandamron9225
    @deandamron9225 Před 11 měsíci +2

    ❤Yep! Every word is truth. May the Lord bless all of you on your next journey .... it is definitely better than your previous mini adventure. It takes time, but you actually do become stronger, IF .... you chose to RRSPOND instead of REACT.

  • @navydogsadventures3500
    @navydogsadventures3500 Před 11 měsíci +4

    I wish my wife would move away. Lol. Kids may not like it but wouldn't bother me one bit.

  • @terryyoung6244
    @terryyoung6244 Před 11 měsíci

    yep

  • @vidphile1
    @vidphile1 Před 11 měsíci +1

    amber heard rando--textbook case. moved to spain, still blaming johnny an' saying she'll get her day.

  • @MLove-777
    @MLove-777 Před 11 měsíci

    Whoa! 😳

  • @ghostgirl4508
    @ghostgirl4508 Před 11 měsíci +2

    • @denisefeldmann8537
      @denisefeldmann8537 Před 11 měsíci

      Absolutely true

    • @alimccreery755
      @alimccreery755 Před 11 měsíci

      Definitely. I’m in the process of moving out of the house of the narcissist in my life. I’ve been gone to help my older brother move because he had no one to help him and he’s 78 years old. When I got back to where I’m living sure enough the narc set out to try and trigger me however it didn’t work 👍. Thank you for sharing ❤️

  • @dcraexon
    @dcraexon Před 11 měsíci

    they make great pets

  • @TRUTHorSTFU
    @TRUTHorSTFU Před 11 měsíci +2

    I wonder.......Since this describes Trump so accurately, what does it say about the millions of our fellow Americans who support him and want him to be their President again? Are they willing victims to narcissistic behavior and why? Are they narcissists themselves? "63% of Americans have an unfavorable opinion of the former president, while 35% view him favorably." (that's more than 116 million Americans!) -Andy Cerda, July 21, 2023, Pew Research Center.

  • @ClassicTrucker
    @ClassicTrucker Před 11 měsíci

    Blablabla I'm not losing

  • @vidphile1
    @vidphile1 Před 11 měsíci

    315

  • @loco401
    @loco401 Před 11 měsíci +7

    A perfect description of Trump and his MAGA Mob.

    • @GreenTea3699
      @GreenTea3699 Před 11 měsíci +5

      RFK Jr 2024
      If you've never heard him speak and only heard slander, please listen to a long interview. He's the first man in my lifetime that both sides think is a good man. Don't listen to the slander from people standing to lose money. Go listen with your own ears

    • @indytoby1
      @indytoby1 Před 11 měsíci

      And his maga loving crowd

    • @missylearned9821
      @missylearned9821 Před 11 měsíci

      So you really buy into the lie that anyone at that level even cares you exist? All at that level do is divide and conquer and 95% of people who fall into one of the 2 camps designated for the plebes to think they have a say in the matter haven’t a clue they’re on the menu.

  • @johnmoirano5221
    @johnmoirano5221 Před 11 měsíci +2

    Now that's some pretty hair 😍😻😍❤🎉 there 🎉