r/AITA "I Own Your Uterus"
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- čas přidán 25. 07. 2024
- Podcast: open.spotify.com/show/3hJo9o8...
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0:00 Intro
0:07 Delusional friend
2:07 Family vacation
6:41 No longer paying
9:21 Dumb decision
13:15 Banned over tomato sauce
16:12 Marinara flags
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
He doesn’t want a baby momma because of ‘the drama’. This man has obviously never spent time with a toddler, child, or teenager. They are machines that convert food into drama.
I can't help but feel there is something even more sinister going on with that guy. The way he talks about women is vile, I wouldn't dare trust him with a child. If he has a son would he raise his son to believe he deserves to own a woman? If he has a daughter would he... you know... Would he go back on the surrogacy agreement if the baby's gender isn't what he wanted? Abuse the kid for causing "drama"?
This guy literally just wants an agreement to use a live in woman until she produces an offspring for him, then kick her to the curb while still holding executive ownership over her body. Don't trust this guy with a child for the love of God.
@@kaylawoodbury2308 this guy is crazy! I’m willing to bet that he doesn’t want the surrogate to have future children so she can always be roped into motherly duties. And also, what does the surrogate even get in return? Medical bills paid for that they wouldn’t have in the first place and they stay with him? Hells to the No! I hope this creep is only a friend of a friend so breaking ties would be easier. Glad he hasn’t asked OP yet to be a surrogate
As a former toddler, child, and teenager, I can confirm that they are, in fact, machines that convert food into drama-
I think he plans on making his "surrogate" raise the child for him too.
@@lorilancaster5917Definitely not on the guys side but I don't think you're legally allowed to pay for a surrogate. You're allowed to pay for their expenses but that's it
A general rule of thumb to follow is: don't use someone's personal life-altering trauma as a punchline and then get mad at them for being upset about it. I can't believe the amount of people who don't understand that, including my own family. That is the very definition of kicking someone when they're down.
it's common sense. tho apparently it's not that common
This! Unless the person of personal trauma makes the jokes and is ok with dark humor and allows a very close person to make one as well.
Seems a very good rule of tumb.
my rule with dark humor is to always punch up, jokes about homeless people aren't dark humor, they're being an asshole, jokes about dead rich people? morally correct and funny dark humor
If it was really an “accident” then she dropped a sledge on the fragile glass pane of glass that was their relationship with OP… while also saying “oops, clumsy me”
Not only is OP's friend delusional, he is CREEPY.
It's not creepy to want a surrogate.
It's 100% creepy to want to do it naturally (which is highly frowned upon in the surrogate community), but to also ask her to never have any other kids.
This man has a pregnancy kink and its gross.
So this guy is Elon Musk?
@@PokemonProfessorTonyminus the money...
Yes, and isn’t it one step further than surrogacy, because he also wants to use her egg as well? He wants her to be an egg donor, a surrogate, sleep with him, and then never have another child for someone else, or for herself for the rest of her life. There’s no amount of money that’s worth that. I hope he never finds someone, because he will make their lives miserable. I’m sure the offer to stay with him was made so he could also control every aspect of her life while she’s pregnant. If he’s this controlling with a possible surrogate, I hate to see how much of his child’s life he would also attempt to control. I also wonder if he understands how much “drama“ a child would bring into his life, and when he realized he could not control every aspect of that, if he would drop the baby back off on the surrogates doorstep. Sorry, I really don’t have a good impression of this guy.
If I remember correctly, there is another update for story 2.
Basically, the sister doubled down in her attacks against OP, when her husband found out apologised and then it came to light that all the times the sister put OP to babysit her kids, she was suposed to pay him/her, which she never did and pocketted the money.
The husband again apologised and everyone decided to go on vacation, but OP would be staying in a diferente room/hotel to avoid being left with the kids again.
wow... stealing from your brother who is watching your 3 kids and from your husband...that's even lower than just not paying
Yikes. I hope BIL paid OP back in some way.
that was a second post. there was a third where Sister demanded OP take down the other two cause she couldn't handle the negativity not realizing this is the internet it's already too widespread.
Brother-in-law should have paid for OP's room to make up for all of the stolen babysitting money. The sister is even worse than I thought!!
@@mkat8505 Considering her attitude? They're not going to last.
THEIR KIDS….THEIR PROBLEM! If you can’t handle having children, then don’t have children. I have kids and I would never put that crap on other people. And by that crap, I meant being forced to babysit kids that aren’t his. Not talking about my kids. My kids are actually great, but I still wouldn’t put that on someone else.
Touche
MY KIDS YOUR PROBLEM! STFU AND PAY ME MONEY!
I have three kids and would often do beach vacations. It was not that difficult or stressful. If we had access to two grandparents to help out, it would have been zero stress. If they need an extra slave babysitter, they are doing something wrong.
Two words: au pair.
@@JimLambier I agree, those boys have no discipline.
As someone who cooks, the tomato sauce story is just plain disrespect. I would have blown up worse than OP.
And dangerous. As far as she knows op. could be cooking something for a friend who is allergic to garlic or something. And if he didn’t realize what she did, it could have had dire consequences
If I was in OP’s position, SIL would have gotten a boiling pot of sauce upside her head.
@HugMe201 Absolutely. I'm allergic to so many things, I don't eat anything from a sorce I don't know.
@@RepellentJeffand then make her scrub clean all the pots she contaminated
@@RepellentJeff Yeah, OP shouldn't have just tell her to take the sauce. Sure, the sauce is ruined, but she still got away with free sauce!
The last story: Definitely NTA, it’s not just about a (sadly) ruined, made from scratch tomato sauce, it’s that SIL has absolutely NO respect for people’s boundaries and generally seems to think she can do whatever the heck she wants with zero consequences! I mean to have the audacity to go into someone else’s kitchen, mess with the food they’re cooking and then smugly patronise the owner is absurd!
Don't forget about the wasted effort. Op spent a whole weekend of their life that they can't get back just for it to be ruined.
Also, the SIL just assumed that it was for OP and her family. What if she was making it for someone else who had food sensitivities or food allergies?
It doesn't really matter who OP was making it for honestly because the SIL is so disrespectful and does not respect boundaries, but I just had that thought that if OP was unaware of what she had done, the SIL could have seriously hurt someone.
We gonna talk about how freaking sad it is that the sister in story two says that being with her own kids will ruin her vacation?
Poor kids.
And you know she's drilling into their heads that "we can't go because of Uncle OP"
Like, if you can't enjoy vacation woth your kids don't have them? These poor boys are probably confused about why they won't go to the beach all because their mother can't enjoy their company
I know right? If you don't like being around your children, then why did you have them? Just to please your husband? Or was it for more selfish reasons? Either way, OP's sister isn't going to be winning any mother of the year competitions anytime soon. 😒
This is why I never understood how the "Thank God my kids are going back to School" videos. If you don't want to spend time with your children why in the world did you have them in the first place?
Story 1: "tell me you're an incel without telling me you're an incel."
Given that this is how he acts, it's no surprise he needs a surrogate.
I'm surprised a creep like this has ANY female friends.
I hope he doesn't have a daughter I will feel bad for her
This story sounds so fake and yall ate it up
@@Diamondr11Blue my reaction was fake yet you ate it up 🤡
Story 1: the guy tried to forbade her from ever giving birth after he gets his kid, and she have to sleep with him. You are absolutely right he is delusional, no woman should or would agree to those ridiculous controlling demands. He can be mad all he wants but it doesn't change the fact that you're right.
You're right. Plus he should not have kids. He probably act that way with the child. God forbid he has a daughter.
And my question is : if she ever has a kid after giving him one, what the hell is he going to do ?
Ever wonder why everyone he asked said no? Because he sprung this on them and expects them to just say yes.
He isn't picky, he is DELUSIONAL.
I mean there is a way to get all those conditions, that is to touch grass and actually get a SO
Beyond delusional - he's CREEPY. An EXCUSE for a man that should NEVER have children. What if the baby were a girl? She'd be alone except for a CREEPAZOID for a father. Shudder.
as someone with autism, you got it absolutely right. I HATE surprises/sudden changes. I have full on meltdowns when that happens.
Me too. I thought the Sonic near my house changed the recipe for thwir ocean water bc twice now ive gotten it and its tasted weird. I needed alone time to calm down and i cried. Turns out it's my birth control that made my taste buds change and my sense of smell change. I used to be able to handle the smell of a cigarette but now i get sick and need to leave. I'm still upset that things don't all taste the same as they used to but I'll live, i just need some alone time to cool off
@@Thebatcavepetfriendlybakery wait, birth control can do that?
As someone who has a child with autism, the summary rSlash gave was perfect. My son HATES changes of any kind. He even struggles at the beginning of each new school year because he wants to go back to his old teacher and classroom. He gets through it within a couple weeks, but change is definitely hard on him.
As an autistic person I concur, changes (especially ones you can’t control) are hard to go with… death especially, when my old childhood pets died, weather or not it was my or my relative’s pets, people stepped around the whole death thing till I either got used to it or it seemed I forgot about them (still miss that Pomeranian tho)
I too have autism and I sometimes have to take myself away from situations of change or surprises cause I can feel myself getting upset or angry or annoyed but surprising a child who’s autistic with a massive change in his life is a very very bad idea.
Just for a quick example I have high functioning autism and I’m an adult so when my family gets a new car every 4 years I HAVE to know months in advance that said date is when the old car is going and the new ones coming. If I didn’t know I’d be freaking out big time. What rslash said is 100% accurate
Story 3: Since OP's wedding being ruined is such a joke, her sister should be fine and think it's hilarious if her own wedding is ruined right? No? Doesn't work that way? Ahhh, got it. Yeah, definitely NTA
You just know OP’s friend from the first story will be creepy and gross if he ends up having a daughter. He sounds like a fedora with arms and legs.
My sympathies go out to the fedora, which had several decades of high style-ability before it became wrongfully tied to a group of people undeserving of it's grace.
Side note, what incels are known to wear is actually not a true Fedora, it's called a Trillby. 😂
So even then incels have it wrong.
@@christinacartter9784 I will always affectionately think of Johnny Fedora and Alice Bluebonnet (Disney, 1954) when I think of fedoras, or Indiana Jones and his fedora. It's a nice hat. I like wearing nice hats. Those people are using the trilby which, it's an okay hat. They'd probably have done better with a porkpie hat.
@@NotAFanOfHandles I know they don't actually use fedoras, but common parlance being what it is, the fedora is getting dragged down to an undeserved level of cringe by many.
@@christinacartter9784My ex gf and I used to have Fancy Fedora Fuesdays when we’d both come to school (college) wearing dresses, heels, nice makeup, and fedoras. We tried to hold up the fedora despite it being dragged down by the “m’lady” fuckers.
For the tomato sauce one where the sister in law got banned 100% it's not an over reaction it's also not about the sauce, it's about the repeated violation of a clear boundary that OP had set up. That boundary being Don't add seasonings to whatever she's cooking! It's not a hard concept! Ops sister in law just thinks she's quirky and cute and can do whatever the hell she wants. Like RSLASH mentioned what if OP was making that tomato jam, or even worse what if OP was making that sauce specifically for someone with dietary restrictions and the sister in law put something that went against those restrictions in there! What if OP was making that for someone who had a severe turmeric allergy (idk if that's a thing but bear with me) and Op had no clue this lady messed with the sauce and gave it to her friend who then went into anaphylactic shock or died!? Or maybe it's as simple as OP or whoever thats for doesn't like the taste of those ingredients and then won't or can't eat it. That is disrespectful on so many levels especially with OP doing them a favor and by the sounds of it this was a long time coming.
Finally someone talks about this one, Who want to think they can do that to source like what audacity do you have to have
@@electronicfreak1111 Thank you! This one really bugged me especially because I know how much time, energy, and pain goes into canning things, especially (imo) with tomatoes, my mom makes salsa for my family, spicy for my sister and mild for me, it takes her DAYS she's been doing it for years and has had to change the recipe multiple times for some of the reasons I stated above, it takes so much labor to make these and if you score and peel the tomatoes it burns your hands becuase you have to peel the freshly cooked tomatoes, don't get me wrong you can let them cool a bit but they have to be peeled fairly quickly once they're done cooking for best results, not to mention you have to make sure that all the canning jars have been properly sanitized and then closed so nobody gets sick, that's for EVERYTHING you jar, I'm pretty sure my mom does some extra stuff just to make extra sure the whole process is completely safe that's why it takes so long.
It's especially dangerous when it comes to allergies! A lot of things that you'd think don't contain certain ingredients may have trace amounts of them. For example: say OP was making the sauce for a celiac and the SIL put in pepper. Usually, pepper doesn't contain any gluten, but some manufacturers can't gurantee that the pepper hasn't come into contact with it, and they say so on the package. That would've seriously hurt the person the sauce was being made for. How brainless do you have to be to mess with someone else's food!
Exactly! Or whoever is going to eat it has a low sodium diet for blood pressure. “If it’s not yours, don’t touch it”
@@breezythegreat2495 exactly! That's something we teach CHILDREN, one of the first if not the first rule I ever remember being taught by my mom and aunts is that number one, you do not touch something in someone elses house unless you have permission (or it's implied) number two, you do not go into someone else's kitchen and mess with anything they're cooking and number three. If you're going to help with the cooking you ask questions so you don't mess up the recipe, it's very simple no one I know has ever knowingly done what OPS sister in law did. Theres so much audacity to do that!
The free babysitter story is a perfect example of the 'single tax.' Too many people believe that the married parents deserved a break and the single person is always 'on vacation' just because they don't have kids. Then everyone volunteers the single as free child care because the single is obviously available. If the parents want time alone, they need to arrange child care, not force their chosen victim into doing it.
Wedding dress story: OP’s sister doesn’t have a dark sense of humour. What she said was cruel and sadistic. OP isn’t damaging her relationship with her horrible sister; the disgusting sister did that all on her own. I know of someone who committed suicide after they were left at the altar. That’s the kind of despair and heartbreaking pain that is inflicted when you suffer through such a devastating experience. That her sister thinks what happened to OP is a source for comedy, mocking her, is enough to go no contact with her forever. She has ruined the relationship, not OP.
I agree this goes way beyond a dark sense of humor. And I’m on OP’s side I wouldn’t pay for the $7000 dress anymore either. Perhaps the sister will think again before she openly mocks somebody about a very difficult dark day in their life.
That last story has an underlying implication that is scary. Can you imagine what would happen if the SIL added an ingredient that was a common food allergen to a recipe, and a person with an allergy ends up eating it? The cook would be blamed if no one witnessed the SIL add stuff to it. I don't know if OP has any allergies or knows someone who does, but she was 100% right to ban her SIL from her home for this.
And for another level of horror: picture the above scenario happening in a _restaurant_ kitchen!
That is where my mind immediately went! I know multiple people, including family members, with food allergies, and they are serious! If someone did what the SIL did and you were not 100% sure what they put it, you would need to throw that entire batch out for fear of contamination or cross-contamination! And this double goes to if this was a restaurant! That SIL is just rude and completely inconsiderate!!
Not just that, the OP was planning on canning those tomatoes. If you don't precisely follow canning recipes and add in extra ingredients and spices, it can change the acidity of the food and make it unsafe for canning. This can cause botulism which is extremely dangerous and you would never know by just looking at the food
Story two: Kudos to OP for standing up to his moronic family. He should go on his own vacation and send his sister pictures of the life he isn't having.
That would be so awesome, I really hope he does do that. Meanwhile, his sister is exhausted after wrangling those obnoxious demon spawns for days on end in a crappy tourist beach town (Monterey, CA?), and is at her wits end. All the while, he's enjoying his time in a mountain lake resort that has amazing food, cocktails, live music, fun recreational activities, and hooks up with a nice person to do some passionate hugging.
I was thinking he should go on vacation by himself. Clearly he can afford it. I hope he does just that!
yeah, nothing stopping him from going anyway, plus it's money he can do whatever he want with it.
Also she should be watching the kids SHE decided to have
I never understand why someone without kids should be expected to spend their vacation sharing a room with said kids and being forced essentially to take care of them. This should be agreed to beforehand with boundaries, not just thrown on you when you get there. I couldn't imagine doing that!I might ask one of my kids to watch her for a bit, but with the understanding he can say no and if he does, it is only for a bit. But to expect him to spend the whole vacation doing it! He might as well have stayed home! He could afford to go on his own, but obviously wanted to spend time with his family.
As someone who's from a family that cooks highly specific recipies that have tempermantal ingredients and where everyone is territorial over the kitchen when they're using it for one of those recipies, that last story is a nightmare come true.
Just imagine if OP had been making a dessert that in one of the stages looked like normal everyday dinner food and the SIL did that. Does she even taste things before she 'fixes' them?
SIL called it "bland" so presumably she does. Even if it was seasoned perfectly to OP's taste I'm guessing SIL probably still would have messed with it because that's what narcissists do.😊
3rd story: OP.. do not forgive her. As someone with a dark sense of humour, YOU DO NOT MAKE JOKES ABOUT STUFF LIKE THAT. Not without the "okay" of the person with trauma. Her sister was a complete AH and she deserves to learn the consequence. And that words can hurt.
SOOO glad I'm not the only one thinking this. When it comes to dark humor in general, but *especially* about personal/sensitive topics, CONSENT 👏🏻MATTERS👏🏻. Period, end of sentence. One of my favorite dark(ish) jokes is "Dark humor isn't everyone's cup of orphan's blood", which is a great way to gauge the temperature of others without jumping to 'hurtful' and/or 'horrifying' jokes that not everyone appreciates.
@@animestudiouser EXACTLY!
It seems like the AH sister isn't even apologetic or saying sorry. Like, she's saying just get over it because it's just a joke. That's definitely an entitlement attitude...
dark humour and consent have a few things in common
not everyone likes it, for example
The last story
This sister in law is definitely in the wrong. Imagine your baking a cake and she thinks it’s something else and does this, this cake is now ruined.
Also to add, 40 pounds of tomatoes cost about $80. So she wasted $80 of tomatoes for no reason except to do something quirky?
Op is NTB
The sister in law is TB
@@lindaleblanc3422 she did, but I doubt she will use all of it in time before it goes bad. 40 pounds will take a long time to use.
@@jordan_cagleThat's assuming she'll use much of it at all. She probably ruined it in a way that she wouldn't even find palatable
Besides wasting forty pounds of maters and the basically daylong effort OP put into the whole process, it was a total affront to OP's stated boundaries. This went beyond simply being an AH, SIL was malicious. She knew what she was doing. She got off easy. She should be wearing that sauce. 😡
It's so SOOOO much worse than that! Consider this scenario: OP serves this stuff to guests and had no idea their SIL added spices/seasoning to the mix, and one of the guests has a severe allergic reaction resulting in anaphylactic shock that puts them in the I.C.U., nearly killing them. Exaggeration? Hardly. We've had stories read on this subreddit before of people nearly dying from anaphylaxis because they didn't know what was in the food; food allergies are no joke, that's why many things you buy at the grocery store will clarify "Manufactured on a line where soy, tree nuts, eggs, etc. are processed", because those are common, LIFE-THREATENING allergens. If the SIL wants to help "fix" the meal, then she needs to run that by the person cooking the food - OP - and NOT sneak around behind their back like some sous-chef ninja; doing what they did was inconsiderate and wasteful at best, idiotic and DANGEROUS at worst. >:(
@@bluestreaker9242Turmeric is hell on your stomach for a lot of people. If you serve that to someone with a sensitive stomach (like me with IBS), they can get horribly sick.
Story 2: OP's paying for his part of the vacation, so nobody can tell him to do whatever. They can deal with the three kids, not OP.
Man, even when the vacation is cancelled, the sister is STILL fighting over it. She really just doesn't know when to quit
Ughh...I HATE these cowards too. "Keep the peace" is actually translated to "I'm too much of a sniveling coward to give these petulant babies their comeuppance, so lets give into their rude nasty behavior so they stop attacking us maybe, possibly, probably, maybe..."
It might be because I’m petty but I hope OP still goes on the vacation and posts pics online of him chilling and living his best life!
@@ramenbomberdeluxe4958 Telling someone to just do a certain thing to "keep the peace" means they didn't want to deal with it. Lazy buttholes.
@@lorilancaster5917absolutely this! He’s an adult and can have/deserve a nice vacation for once.
I dunno why she's wailing and claiming she's a victim, she could still take her boys and husband on a vacation. Unless the parents were also footing her bill too.
As someone with serious allergies, the tomato sauce story scares me in ways I didn’t know was possible. Like imagine someone alters your food and go into anaphylaxis
As an autistic adult, you hit the nail on the head so perfectly. I personally hate change and it can set me off like crazy. Imagine how Drew would feel seeing Ron with someone new. It would be a meltdown on his special day.
But instead of being understanding towards Ron and simply explaining that it’s too soon for him to bring his girlfriend OP and the family insult and uninvite him. Ironic how people expect Ron to be more compassionate to Drew but the family holds him in disdain for moving on and criticize him for finding love again.
The problem with the last story also is what if op is cooking for someone else who for example is allergic to garlic and the sister adds it when op is not in the room, if op doesn't notice that garlic was added and proceeds to give it to the other person as planned well....things can go very VERY badly
He claims he wants a child but doesn't want all that baby mama drama so then why does he want to naturally inseminate and control who she has kid with in the future
Right? It makes no sense.
Why is so hard for people to just adopt a kid if they don’t want a second parent?
Its so icky you just know this is tge creep they find who has a girl locked up in the basement in a few years 😳
Let us hope the seeds are rotten and will not flourish.
@@Darthlucy1 oh god don't give them ideas. If you don't have the patience to co parent, you do not have the patience to be a parent at all. Parenting requires mutual cooperation\compromise to achieve the best interest of the life you chose to bring into existence (at its most basic, obviously life is more nuanced) and if someone can't manage to find common ground to do what's best for the kid then I think they are too selfish to actually raise said kid. At the very least their motivation for wanting kids should be questioned.
for the tomato story: I was actually pretty surprised that the SIL and brother reacted pretty well. They wrote an apology letter, got the requested tomatoes, and added a carrot cake. I would give them 1/5 personally. That does not mean that OP is TAH, they have every right to not think that the apology is enough. Also, I think they should invite OP to their place and have OP tell them how to prep the tomatoes so that OP doesn't have to repeat all that hard work. Then maybe they can talk things out. But it's too soon to expect everything to be instantly smoothed over. Find a new host for the holiday and just give OP some time. OP may never let the SIL back in but they have every right to do so.
It’s not about the tomato sauce. It’s the fact that the SIL routinely trampled OP’s boundaries and added stuff to whatever OP was cooking. And apparently, this was the last straw for OP
@@moonlighthunter5421 oh I totally agree, OP is NTA and the SIL was TA, I was just surprised that they seemed to realize it and apologized. My personal boundary is different so I was just saying what I would have done. But I'm not OP so OP is totally justified 🙂
@@rebeccajesse4604 I get what you are saying, but it was clearly not the first time something like that happened, and, something tells me that unless the ban is put in place, it will happen again. Sadly, I know people like the moron from the story, they never change, and only drastic measures tend to work.
If it was the first time she had done it, I would say they responded very well. But she’s done this numerous times in the past and she’s been asked not to. She was well aware of how OP would feel about it. I think if I was OP, it would be too little too late. It’s just so disrespectful.
The op in the second story should go on his own vacation. Being alone isn't weakness. It means your strong enough to pick who you spend your time with.
it isn't about going on a vacation alone so much as on a family vacation op was getting thrown to his sisters kids and basically told "suck it up buttercup its for family"
@@lionheartt15 i was saying to do it as a FUCK YOU to the family. The best revengeance is life well lived. Plus if that's how the family treats him, h he's beast enjoying a vacation alone.
(Edit) sorry about the misspelling.
@@lionheartt15 Instead of telling sister to stop being lazy and raise her children herself? Yeah, I sense a golden child/favorite child in this story. Or at the very least a very spoiled bratty child. 😒
@@PrincessQ-fj9ly oh I can only agree with that as well as a bit of we're family we do favors for each other! thrown in
Story 2: when you have kids, you stop having vacations. The KIDS have vacations. You chose to create crotch goblins, you now have a 18 year full time job. Sorry.
I’m not saying mom and dad NEVER did what the kids wanted, but they didn’t let us dictate everything. I’m glad that was so. Saw a lot of historic sites and museums which helped us kids grow into adults.
I do believe parents deserve vacations too, BUT they are NOT entitled to shoving their kids off onto friends or family members for free labor in order to get them. If a parent wants a vacation without their kids, they're allowed to take one, but they need to graciously ask people to watch them,with no expectations or entitlement, and accept when they say no. And if they can't find anyone who'll say yes, it's time to pull out the wallet and/or find a babysitting agency.
Back when I was a kid my grandparents would take me on vacations with them. They simply enjoyed having me with them. (I was raised by them btw) I was always well behaved and we did stuff that all of us enjoyed. I got to go to build a bear and they got to carry me out to eat. I wasn’t the type to cry and complain when things didn’t go my way. It was fun. But my grandparents never tried giving me to anyone else to keep me out of their hair. They choose the raise me and their children and raised them well.
I didn't break the condom so the aren't my responsibility.
My parents chose to have vacations because of us (me and my sister), for us to have something to remember. Of course, even though we fought a lot, we always behaved well in general (like didn't wander off, payed attention what my parents told us to do and not to do etc.) so my parents had a little vacation too. And when I turned 20, my parents finally started to go to their own vacation. (Though they always feared that we won't have enough food, so before they went off, my mom made a lot of food, then during their vacation, my grandma feared, that we will starve and made more food. In the end, we hade more food, than before vacation. And just for clarity, me and my big sis were both working, lived in dormitory during school, so we could pretty much survive on our own. XD)
Let's start a petition for RSlash to read a wholesome subreddit once a month 😊 give him a sprinkle of joy between entitled parents, kids, bosses, and cheaters
Heck, make it every Saturday! All of us could benefit from more positivity.
r/wholesomestories would be a good place to start
@@Ahrpigiwhat about a wholesome wednesday? hahaha where the hell do i sign!?
@@eggmakesvidsI like that!
@@eggmakesvids or Mellow Monday make that stressful day a little less so?
3rd story: if your wedding is ruined over a dress, I don’t predict much for the actual marriage.
I bet sister wants a wedding and not actually a marriage
For the vacation story; since OP was willing to pay their own way, the family could have used the money they would have paid for OP to hire a babysitter!
They could've, but in their minds, it's a waste of money when they could just get OP to be a free babysitter instead. 😒
That last story reminds me of art fixers. They are just so stupid, entitled and patronizing. As well as potentially not even understanding the point of what you were trying to create.
GOD YES. I swear whenever I see one of those people I just think 'Someone's got Main Character Syndrome...'
I couldn't stand those people who white wash literally everything it is such a pain in the ass. Especially when they make up words like bro fixing art is disrespectful don't do that shit
Story 3 : Ok so it ok to make joke about OP's darkest day when she probably cried an entire river.
But it is cruel when she withdraws on the sisters wedding and not pays for the dress ??? The hypocracy in that family !!!
Lets play my favorite game :
Guess who's the golden child !
I also noticed there was no mention of an apology from the sister.
- Parents telling OP to take it easy.
- Dad saying OP is too harsh on the sister over a joke.
- Parents saying sister has been crying all night.
Downplaying her behaviour, defending her cruel actions, AND guilt tripping? These are red flags tbh.
But OP offering to pay for the dress to begin with was HER dark sense of humor. Why aren’t they laughing at her punchline like they did sister’s? Psycho can take her ass to David’s Bridal
@@dracko158 Imagine what they're saying behind OP's back if this is how they react instead of just telling the sister to apologize.
Like you can want to butter my bread all you want but if you have the knife and instead stab me in the stomache I don't expect you to blame me for not waving it away.
I think she overreacted. I don’t think her little sister knew that it was going to affect her like this. In the story she even says that she just starts yelling at her. If she wants to go back on her word. That’s fine. If she wants to ruin her relationship with her sister. That’s her choice. I think it’s also fine if her sister never talks to her again.
Did she even mention how long ago it was? I don’t remember. Her sister might’ve been so young she didn’t even realize how devastated she was. There’s so many factors.
Well, if that wedding is ruined, maybe OP can make a "Man, hope nobody declines to pay for your dress or something" joke on the next one. Y'know, dark sense of humor and all that.
I can confirm that about the girlfriend story.
Of course autism really is a spectrum so not everyone experiences it the same way but there are a lot of us, including me, who really struggle with sudden changes. Especially with people since there's a good portion of us who also struggle with social settings and interactions on top of that 💀
Hijacking that kids birthday, an event that consistently comes once a year, to introduce someone who's essentially replacing their favorite person is probably gonna go south. I mean worst case scenario it'll be a core memory.
It's also not fair to the girlfriend because that's just asking for her to be compared to the former one. And it's a child birthday party, kids already don't have the best track record for reading the room. That's just asking for the new girlfriend to get asked or told something messed up by a non malicious teenybopper.
If the dude really likes and cares about her then he should introduce her in a new location so she's less likely to be stuck living in his former girlfriend's shadow. And so he's not stepping on the toes of his grieving family members.
Good on you for thinking about how the new partner feels. Most people didn't consider that but you're very right. She's innocent in this and he's hurting her as well by bringing her to the party. If he didn't want to upset her or make it awkward for her then he should just do as you suggested and bring her somewhere new!
That first story, I'll put money on him being sterile and using this as an excuse to sleep with people multiple times then blame it on them when they don't fall pregnant
He says he doesn't want the drama, which sounds like projection.
@@ShadowTaipan I'm so confused with that like he wants kids but no drama? Does he know what raising a kid entails?
Not to mention he could just as well get a "bride online", have a kid and get sole parental custody.
Also that he's asking his female friends like ... honestly if I had someone like that in my friend circle I'd go extremely low contact, that's just weird.
@@CenerothXaris I'm surprised he didn't ask her. Sounds like he'd be that creepy.
@@ShadowTaipanI feel like the creep probably did ask her, but OP omitted that because she was too weirded out to include it, wouldn't surprise me, honestly
That makes all his other demands way too moronic, so probably nah
For the first story, I don't think the dude is delusional. Before you roast me, let me explain.
"I parked my limo in your garage and unloaded my passengers. I now own the property."
He's wanting squatter rights over a female's reproductive organs. He isn't delusional. He's straight up misogynistic.
I understand what you say, but just because its misogynistic doesn't mean its not absolutely crazy. It's both so...
You meant to say "I parked my tuk-tuk in an a warehouse", right?
You can be both delusional and misogynistic, like this draft of a human
I mean, misogynistic people can be delusional too...
Had me in the 1st half NGL
What pisses me off so much about Ron is that he can’t seem to understand that not everyone has moved on. Just because he was able to move on from his girlfriends death doesn’t mean the nephew has. But he’s such an ass that he can’t even put himself in his own nephews shoes to understand how he’s feeling and how it might affect him.
I think it's less about moving on and more about how much more convenient his life was when he had a girlfriend.
Personally I think it’s an ESH situation. Instead of using a little compassion, and simply explaining that it's too soon for nephew and asking Ron not to bring his new girlfriend... OP and and the family insulted him and uninvited him. Ironic that people expect Ron to be more compassionate but can muster the same compassion for him, people can have compassion for more than one person at a time.
That final story also makes me angry. If she was a considerate person she would taste it and ask op if its okay if she adds a few things. However she goes behind ops back and basically goes "Im better at cooking then op so im going to change it and show op how much better i am then them." Is just rude
I’m autistic and being blindsided is one of the things I struggle with most.
2nd story: I'd never go on vacation with my family again if they ever pulled that stunt on me.
Not only that, I would plan a vacation at the same time at a further destination. And if possible I would make sure I have a better accommodations and plans.
I know Rslash likes to say, "Am I The Badguy" for monetization reasons, but when he sometimes say, "Am I The B*tthole" I feel like memories come from his old video every time. I watched it since late 2019 and I feel like I've supported him since he's the first YT redditor reader that I've ever watched. Go Rslash!
A dark sense of humor is not a reason to be a butthole. She wasn't using dark humor, she meant to poke at her sister's emotional wounds. My sister does the same thing all the time, it's one of the many reasons I went NC with her.
I agree. This goes way above having a dark sense of humour.
The guy in the first story does not need kids. He needs to be sent to a desert island.
3rd story: Oh, the relationship with the sister might be damaged? Well, she shouldn't have damaged said relationship first by MAKING FUN OF SOMEONE'S DARKEST TRAUMA!
Screw that sister and anyone who supports her. They can pay for the dress if it's so important.
But you know the rules, it's the sibling's job to help out their siblings, not the elders.
thank you, Rslash, for your candid and eloquent expressions!
Rslash as someone who is autistic, you’re right. We don’t do well with change and tend to get overwhelmed easily. We need routine and hate surprises because it throws us off and can tip us over the edge easily
(Edit: fixed editing error. Thanks for pointing it out)
I have BPD and that has always been true for myself as well. I've actually noticed so many similarities that I questioned if maybe I have autism not bpd idk but I think there's just a bit of overlap (not liking changing and getting overwhelmed being some of the overlap). My mom wanted to throw me a surprise bday party I said absolutely not. I would panic.
@@MalloriaAnn I also have that and there are a lot of similarities between the two.
Relish? Dill or sweet?
@@Chet_Manly I mean rslash autocorrect
Funny how people are bashing Ron for not being understanding or compassionate enough to Drew, but instead of simply explaining that it’s too soon for Ron to bring his girlfriend, OP and the family insult Ron and uninvite him. People can show compassion to more than one person, you know. Like, how long does Ron have to wait for the family to decide that he’s allowed to move on and finally live his own life? Sure, bringing Gia to the birthday party is a bad idea but so far the majority of the family has given him shit for daring to have a new relationship, and I doubt that’ll change anytime soon. So I ask again, why Ron not allowed to receive any compassion or understanding?
Last story hurts me: 5 pots and 2-3 days of work down the drain! It takes so much time and effort to prepare food for canning and to have it ruined in under 5 minutes is just crushing.
SIL would be blessed to still have her teeth, all that work ruined due to someone being so stupid and arrogant, she'd never be allowed in my house again.
Yeah for real. It takes so much time. I do canning with one of my parents and it takes days to prepare and a whole day to can.
2nd story: If OP's sister didn't want to have to deal with kids on her family vacation, she shouldn't have had kids. There is also a group of professionals who take care of children for families on vacations. It is expected that you not only finance their room and board, but also pay them a wage.
Maybe I'm weird, but my view of it is, if it is your kid, it is your problem.
That's a normal view imo. The parents chose to take a vacation and bring their kids along. It's their responsibility and not anyone else's. Anyone else helping for nothing back is a kindness. She's the adult and if she can't be one she needs to get the help she needs to be one.
She just wants a vacation *from* her kids. That’s *her* problem.
@@CenerothXaris my second trip after my daughter was born (the first she was a baby, and being the first girl after two generations of all boys, with all her cousins being at least 12 years older, meant everyone wanted to take care of her) my kid was a toddler and potty training. My sister-in-law literally dragged me away from the family to tell me to relax. There were 5 other adults in the house, plus two teenagers who were willing (the 17y/o who was graduating kept trying to teach her how to play videogames) to help.
12:42 this story made me cry, our mom passed in 2015 why does this matter, my youngest who was 17 is low level autistic. Hes regressed so much since then because our mom was is person, he spent every single day with her, trying to explain to him that mommy wasnt coming back was the hardest and most difficthjng, we were so afraid of what might happen if he saw her corpse we tried to have a closed casket, my grandma and all her kids wanted it but someone overrided us but turned the casket away from us but they still opened it and i had to hold his hand to make sure he woukdnt get up nd see our mother dead, we still arent over her death, imagine bringing another “mommy” and he being confused and hurt because hes expecting our mom to come back
Cooking story: the ban on coming to OP's house doesn't need to be permanent but it should last through at least 2 family gatherings that OP would normally host. Then OP can sit down with SIL, accept her apology, make sure she agrees to follow the rules, and offer to let her back in. With the understanding that any further infractions will make the ban permanent.
The kids one drives me crazy, my parents have 6 kids now, but there was a five year period where only three of us were born. One, they properly spaced us out to make sure that we wouldn’t all be super young at the same time ( newborn, 3 year old, 5 year old). Two, my parents took us on vacation alone more than once and managed to keep us all tamed without too much issue. Three, when others were on vacation with us, there were never forced to take of us. If they wanted to occasionally take care of us, great. Four, my parents recognized that taking kids on vacation generally means the vacation is for us or family bonding, it wasn’t really their chance to relax. If they wanted time away from us, they would take their own night at a hotel or something else to get their own vacation time to relax. The point is, your kids are really your problem. It’s great if you have super supportive family that wants to be involved and help, but plenty of people have kids with minimal to no family and do just fine. You don’t get to expect free babysitting and you certainly don’t get to ruin your brothers vacation just because he has no kids or wife or whatever.
I absolutely agree with you. As an aspiring mother myself, I can't stand people who breed like rabbits, but can't be bothered to raise their own children! I think it goes without saying, but if you can't handle children then DON'T HAVE CHILDREN!
First story- Incel red flag! No explanation necessary.
Story 2: Op has no obligation on watching those kids if he doesn't want to. Family does NOT equal free babysitter whenever you can't be arsed to raise your own dang kids.
Story 3: I really don't understand how so many people nowadays think they can be absolutely horrid to someone, but still benefit from what that person was going to do for them. Like, no way in hell you're going to get whatever that person promised you before you were a complete and utter dillweed to them, you just burned whatever bridge that relationship had!
Story 4: Even if we don't think about the allergies angle here, it is completely rude for the Sil to be constantly sneaking into people's kitchens and adding stuff to their food without permission. One because how do those people know she's actually adding what the Sil says she adding when she trying to be so secretive about it, two being that it shows that the Sil thinks she some head chef and that everyone has to do things her way even in the person own dang kitchen, and three being that it's showing that the Sil thinks these people are horrible chefs and she needs to save the meal which also ties with reason two.
As a person w/ ASD, I can confirm that we tend to routines and do best with a consistent routine and a surprise is usually the last thing we need
Story 4- An easy NTA. Good looking out for your nephew, OP
Story 3: NTA. "Too harsh on my sister over a joke"? What? So the sister wasn't the harsh one in making that comment that wasn't even funny anyway? It's just bullying right now, what?! Who cares if the sister is crying? She bought this on herself over that "joke" she told.
Story 3: did the sister even apologise for her joke? clearly if she didnt meant to offend op she would show some remorse but all i got from that is the only thing she regrets is losing her chance to get a dress and thats why she was crying. super self centered
I doubt she even felt sorry right now. She's crying not because she's being apologetic, she's crying because she's not getting her dream wedding dress. Dream on, lady. You ruined your chances because you had to make that soulcrushing joke.
Maybe I am misreading the story, but it sounded like OP didn't give the bride an opportunity to apologize or even to think about what she had done. Hard to say, though.
Still, a "joke" like that is off-limits, point blank
@davidharshman7645 ofc we might not have the whole picture but from the story "they said she's been crying after I decided to back out of helping her (...)" and the only attempted communication sounds like is coming from the family, not even the sister herself 🤷♀️
@@davidharshman7645 OP did storm out after telling sister she won’t pay for the dress but in all the overwhelming messages from sister she never apologize or show remorse.
I have autism... Going outside my routine is very uncomfortable, meeting new people is very uncomfortable, meeting someone new at my birthday party would be very very uncomfortable, in fact that's how I met my sister's first baby daddy...on my 16th birthday... I had trouble grasping why I was meeting this dude
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Someone who’s not gonna pay for your 7000 dollar dress.”
Story 4: Ron moved on, but everyone else didn't. He still needs to he considerate of other people's grieving . In the words of a fictional professor, "There's a time and place for everything, but not now".
He needs to wait, the nephew's birthday is a really bad time to bring in a new GF
He does have that right to move on whenever ready. It's simply an inappropriate time to introduce the new girlfriend. Ron's birthday or a general holiday, fine.
you know who the real victim is there? The drunk driver - my prayers goes out for him🙏
@@user-ut3jk7it6cyeah for him to be dead so he can't drunk drive again lmao
I agree also that quote I know because I use it a lot but I say there’s a time and place for everything now is not the time or the place
@@ladyvee2090 I'm not in a good mood, so I'm just going to congratulate you for being incapable of reading.
Story 4: As an autistic person I can confirm that I need routine and I don't handle change very well. The brother just needs to fully educate himself on the matter
Or even just be considerate and not introduce someone new to a family event. Don’t make a kid’s birthday, autistic or not, all about your new squeeze!
As the father of an autistic kid, can second that. I had to take a day off of work because the pool we were going to was closed for maintenance. So we had to alter our plan to do something else, after a meltdown.
It can be absolutely soul crushing if it's the wrong thing at the wrong time. Talking from unfortunate experience I'm still shaken up by an incident that happened in 2020. It is not a good thing to go through at all at all.
As another autistic person, I agree. I probably would’ve worded it as “That’s great that you’ve moved on and have found love again. But, your nephew is still grieving and learning to process his grief. He is not ready to meet your new GF and is having to adjust to that change to his life and routine. By bringing your GF, that would be another major change for him and he may not take it well because he’s still struggling and grieving. His birthday party is not about YOU. So you can either come by yourself, or don’t come at all…”
I'm also autistic. Sometimes I can handle changes, but only if I thought it was for the better. I'm only mildly autistic so I sometimes don't even understand my own autism, lol.
For the sauce story, OP reacted better than I would. I love cooking and if someone messes with what I'm making, without asking me, and after I'd asked them to stop on other occasions, I'd be pissed as well
Rslash! Autistic person here! Yes yes and yes! You got it exactly right! We hate change, we hate surprises. I've told my boyfriend many times that a good way to get me to BREAK UP with him is to throw me a surprise party. I had bad social anxiety growing up and have bad memories associated with people surrounding me and me being fussed over. If I came home to a surprise party I would run to our bedroom screaming and crying and lock myself in there and have a complete mental breakdown. He's promised again and again that he will never do that to me and I love him for that. As it is it's going to be hard for me to not know when he's going to propose because even that surprise with bothers me. I hate being blindsided, I hate not knowing what's going to happen next. Luckily he's already given me some insight to what he's going to do. How he'll make sure it's just the two of us. No random people around, no friends and no nosy meddling In-Laws either. He's also had me give him ideas on the ring I want. He just refuses to tell me where and when.
good for you for setting boundaries and clearly communicating them! I'm glad he seems to be listening and respecting them! I hope the proposal goes well and it's a memory the both of you can enjoy!
@@rebeccajesse4604 he's an angel. He takes such good care of me. He's the only who can talk me down from a severely depressive episode and the only one who can help me through a panic attack. I know the proposal will be great as long as he makes sure I'm dressed to the nines. I am not getting engaged in jeans and a T-shirt. The only way I would be okay with that is if he were to propose to me a very specific place that is special to us and has been through our whole relationship. Let's just say I would look ridiculous wearing a dress in this place.
Story 4: That's a complicated situation. I agree with OP, but I understand Ron's position too, and it's a difficult one to navigate. But due to circumstances, it's best to be cautious.
Story 4: Yes. Introducing the autistic nephew to someone new at a birthday party is going to go as badly as you think. While you can't let him latch onto it forever, the best is to do it during something that's not a tradition/regular event. So if it's at a weekly family dinner, bad idea. Annual birthday parties are definitely no gos. Walking on the street together or happen to run into each other at a restaurant? Great. You need to gradually get them used to seeing the new person. The best thing is to have Ron and Gia always be seen together by Drew until that becomes the "norm".
I love your videos! You're one of the few CZcamsrs that my husband legitimately likes. And you're the ONLY storytime CZcamsr that he likes.
He doesn't complain about the others, but hasn't hidden his opinion.
Your voice doesn't annoy him even when I have a 6-hour binge of your videos. And your delivery & your natural reactions crack us both up at times. 😂
I'm not trashing other CZcamsrs, I swear. I just love the fact that I can indulge in your content without that tiny sliver of guilt from knowing that my poor husband is listening to stuff he doesn't enjoy, just because I want to watch (listen) to it. 😅
I am autistic, and you're correct RSlash. I thrive on routine. I need to be told things beforehand so I can get used to the idea of doing something or expecting something. Not saying that surprises are unwelcome, like if my aunt decides to show up and hang out for the day. But it's better to work events into my routine than to be blindsided.
Story 3: The OP should not back down and if it breaks apart the marriage then she should make a "Joke" about how at least a dress wasn't what destroyed her wedding
This guy thinks he owns all women’s uteruses? What is he? The US Congress?
Well...
You can identify as anything
Not often do you find a statement that is horrible, accurate, and humorous all at the same time. 🤣
This 😂😂😂😂😂
🎯 💯🤣😂
Damn if this aint the youtube comment of the year. Well played
That last story reminded me of a situation with my brother.
He is (or at least was) a very aggressive back-seat driver, which stressed me out a lot. As is I don't like driving, have had to be very cautious at night due to some visual issues that manage to still allow me to legally drive, and he commonly had me be the 'responsible adult' because I rarely drink. Had enough one day and told him before I gave him a ride that if he did the back-seat driving thing he would be banned from my car (emergency only exceptions), me actively asking for directions was the aspect in which he could give instructions which were restricted to getting to the desired location. He started by being passive aggressive and not offering information about getting to the location. Obviously that would get us nowhere so he started actually giving directions in a reasonable manner, which soon shifted to aggressive back-seat driving. I reminded him of the consequences and offered a last opportunity, 'I know the way back and don't need directions, keep all that commentary to yourself and you don't get banned'...... guess who got banned from my car?
He did try to play it off as me over reacting to our parents, family and some friends. Lucky me, overall the reactions were that he got fair warning, enough of an opportunity to comply, and he is pretty aggressive with his 'suggestions'. Currently he fully respects the ban and I'm doing my best to figure out if he broke that habit and can be allowed as my passenger again.
I have autism, yes even with people like me who have high functioning always have a routine. It's an important structural way of living for us because we have a hard time focusing so when we have a routine, plan and schedule it helps us function normally.
We get stressed and confused easily also. When we have something go wrong then we panic a bit trying to figure out how to sort it out.
Last Story: The SIL sounds like a misbehaving puppy that can't be left alone or they'll make a mess in the kitchen despite being told no repetedly.
The last story also could be considered dangerous. Imagine if OP was allergic to something she added into the sauce. This includes others that could be eating it and they're allergic to something too And absolutely not of that is an overreaction.
Thank you! I mentioned that too! What the sister in law did was incredibly dangerous! And clearly she's regularly violating OPS boundaries, not to mention how time and labor intensive canning goods is, my mom makes and cans Salsa and sometimes jams (less so with the jams since we no longer have a raspberry bush) and I grunted if someone did that to whatever she was making there would be a FAR less calm reaction than what OP gave from my mother, especially with the salsa because my mom HATES tomatoes and literally only makes it because her children like the salsa.
Or OP didn’t have the allergy what if she was cooking it for someone who does? Or the person had food sensitivities?
On a different note, would I be horrible if I thought that SIL put tumeric in the carrot cake?
@@flynn9666 ahh u made the comment 2 minutes ahead XD. Nevertheless yep for what I said and you too. If they were saying it wasn't over reaction then I guess it wouldn't be one for myself if I decided to add a lot of salt in what they are cooking. Not that I would do it
@@lorilancaster5917 Even if op have no allergy is still considered wrong. As for the cake, I would not be surprised if she did lol
The wedding dress story: I have a dark sense of humor too, it seems that what the sister is lacking is an understanding of what good comedic timing is.
GF story: Ron shoud have been called Kevin since he doesn't seem to understand the situation.
I can relate to the brother in law of the second story, my wife is usually the sister that gets roped into helping with the kids and her family always has drama. Soon as i hear there is a family event coming up with the in laws i volunteer for as much over time as possible and tell them its mandatory and won't be able to make it. Not going near that hot mess with a ten foot pole
Story 2: I heard there was a 2nd update that the OP deleted where now OP's sister and BIL are fighting because BIL had been giving sister money to pay OP for being a babysitter last year, but guess what? OP never got that money! BIL 'was' staying out of it because it was a family matter, but now that he realized he gave his wife money which she put into her pocket. My guess is since family knew about the posts, they got upset when he posted the 2nd update since its now airing out sister and BIL's business, would be my guess.
Imagine believing that spending $7000 on a dress you'll wear once is a good idea/financial sound decision.
Bridal industry spent so much time hammering that lie to drive that nail.
I wore nice work clothes to my Courthouse wedding. Grand total cost, about $11 if you amortize the clothing into the wedding. We're quite happily married 22 years later.
@@BronzeDragon133 Great that you found someone willing to do the sensible thing. Most people want to drop cash bombs on a ceremony.
@thomasmiller6614 It's the same with engagement rings. The idea of them having to cost three months' salary was a marketing stunt by a diamond company. At least tuxes can just be rented, but that costs quite a bit as well. Technically, wedding dresses can be rented too, but that's frowned upon for some reason. I guess so the bride can hang it up in her closet for the rest of her life or pass it on to her daughter (who likely won't be the same size as her but whatever).
Ah, commercialism...
@@akl2k7 "Diamonds are forever." Curses on DeBeers and their ^*^% ad campaign.
We should say the quiet part out loud; "So is debt."
Last story: the sister in law is clearly in the wrong. However, I’ve known some people who were so inept and stingy with seasoning that you could *almost* justify doing that.
We used to freeze tomatoes like that, blanch and stew them down then freeze for what we needed. You never add seasoning before freezing because you never know what will preserve well, what will loose it's characteristics or go bad in the storage process, or what it'll be used for. I mean good tomatoes are a base for chilli but not with itallian seasoning like that...
1. 😂 So he wants to be like "have my babies, only my babies, and i wanna do it naturally"... But dating someone and getting married is too big an ask.
2. Haha! Everyone only wants him for the free babysitting! The Golden Kid Strikes Again!
3. Nooooope... No dress for you. Jokes are funny for everyone. And dont put people down.
4. It's the nephew's birthday party. The mom and dad can choose the guest list. Change is hard for anyone, much less someone who isn't neurotypical.
5. Oh dear lord... Guess she wants all that sauce. And beware when the quiet peacemaker snaps. Wasn't overreacting At. All!
I’m autistic, and what you said about your understanding of autistic people is pretty true for a lot of people. And the origin story of “marinara flags” is a deleted AITA post where an in law of the OP was saying he knew Italian and was talking about the flag and was saying red is marinara and white is Alfredo and OP actually knowing Italian said it’s not and the family calls OP TA. Obviously the verdict was NTA
sorry, I'm confused; OP said the flag was marinara and alfredo sauce and also said it wasn't?
@@mani-ei5kq the in law was saying that red is marinara and white is Alfredo because he said he “knew Italian” and OP who actually knew Italian shut that claim down and said it’s not
I have twin nephews who both have autism and I was thinking that is pretty descriptive of them. They have limited verbal interactions which leads many people to think it's intelligence related but that isn't true at all. They are the smartest kids I have ever met. Just cuz they barely speak doesn't mean they don't understand everything happening, and they sense when something is different. My dog is now almost 11 years old and as he ages I worry how they will react when he eventually passes 😢 the thought of losing my baby and then seeing my nephews melt down when they realize he isn't coming back is so horrible. I can't imagine not considering my nephews if I was in a situation like OPs for crap sake.
Last Story: NTA. Adding random spices to things could've actually hurt OP if they had an allergy/sensitivity.
Sometimes, certain spices can trigger my disability and make me have a seizure (Sage, Thyme, etc.).
Whenever my family and I get together for trips, we all watch out for each others kids… but that I mean, if we see a kid (no matter who’s it is) doing something stupid or dangerous, we step in. But ultimately, caring for / looking after the children falls on the parents.
Story 3: I'm a fan of barck humor too but what she did would laugh at your misery. And if she comfortable doing it to your face who knows what she's saying behind your back. You should call her and say you'll think about reconsidering if she can explain why her making fun of the worst moment in your life it's supposed to be funny.
RSlash. Your simple explanation of autism is perfect. I’m autistic myself and yes we do enjoy routine and not being surprised and being able to (to the best of our ability) understand and plan out our day if needed.
I'm autistic myself and at one point if my school schedule changed I went into full panic mode and had a meltdown. I'm just glad that my mom and dad were very patient with me and my brother (he's on the low spectrum of autism)
@@supersweet8772 I know exactly how you feel.
I have autism myself and I completely agree, bad timing on the uncles part
@@nicholassanabria6493 yeah. I agree
Yup! Also it's a birthday! An event that consistently comes around once a year. It's expected and has sentimental value for most kids 💀
The experience of having your birthday hijacked and worst case scenario ruined is probably gonna stick. If that kid is one who tends to ruminate they're gonna be thinking about that a lot.
I'd had one b-day planned out to be just me and mom; all I wanted for that day. Only for her to let an aunt and toddler tag along. Had a meltdown during the car drive and I still remember it vividly.
The day still ended up okay and my mom thinks of it as win since we still had fun. But I'd never repeat it.
It's been years but I still have an underlying fear/paranoia that I'm going to be surprised or have someone force their way into my birthday without me being warned in advance.
Even people you're familiar with taking over can suck, I can't imagine having it be essentially a stranger on top of that 💀
OMG that last story about Turmeric I completely relate to. My dad is the same way, he's like "but it's healthy for you" and I'm like "sure but it also dyes everything yellow and makes food taste chalky
.
Last story: the fact that her brother supports her choice and parents don't tell me all I need to know. Parents don't want sister-in-law in their house either, but instead of saying it are just trying to force OP to keep things as they were
Remember the time when RSlash called the videos "Am I the butthole" instead of "Am I the A" or "Am I the bad guy"?
Nostalgia at its finest.
He changed it cos his videos were getting demonitized or something. He mentions it in the first few videos when he switches terms.
@@nymeroe Exactly. He can't make money off hi;s videos if YT demonetizes them. He figured it had to do with language, so he toned it down to keep the YT gods from stealing his source of income.
Story 3, buttholes don’t like feeling called out
That’s why the sister is upset
And tbh, I don’t blame the BIL for nopeing out and working more to stay away
I hope he divorces that Karen of a sister
Bday story:
Base score:
1/5 for trying to take the spotlight off of the Bday boy by bringing over his new GF
That’s a dick move in and of itself. The rest only makes it that much worse
+1 for doing it when the bday boy is still grieving the previous GF
+2 for disrupting an autistic person’s special day
4/5 from me. You went WAY too easy on him, Rslash
also family vacation: the key phrase here is "family vacation" the children are THEIR family, and they should be doing things together with their own kids that they all like to do, most of the time. The amount of time anybody else should be spending babysitting their kids should be pretty minimal. like if they're going out and getting trashed everyday, they could have stayed home and do that at the bar up the street. back there such bad parents I imagine that's probably what they do anyway.
Story 2: His money, his time to do what he wants. Her kids, her problem. OP should just go on his own vacation now.
I think that first guy literally just has a breeding fetish
First story: That’s more then delusional that’s sexist NTA
Second story: NTA, it’s your vacation though as well and stand your ground man
For the first story, it's equally both parts delusional AND sexist
Story 1: "I don't want the drama that comes with it" _proceeds to try and create a scenario that mimics the exact thing he's trying to avoid_
Story 2: "You're ruining the vacation by making me deal with my kids!" So you admit that it's shitty to make one person deal with the kids by themselves while everyone else does what they want and that person gets treated like the devil incarnate for wanting to do something they like
"You'll damage your relationship with your sister". Like, dude. The sister damaged the relationship when she made fun of OPs trauma
2nd story: sis and bil are HUUUGE a-holes. DON'T have kids if you don't wanna parent. Also just go on your own vacation OP
I've literally never heard anyone in real life pronounce the first R in Turmeric. I've also read that it's supposed to be pronounced Tur-mur-ick, but I think Too-mur-ick is generally the more popular pronunciation.
Not popular, people miss seeing the first r or are not careful.
Family Vacation: Just skip it, and take your own holiday. Going with your family sounds too much like work.
story 1: or OP’s “friend” could just.. adopt?? he wouldn’t be an absolute weirdo, he wouldn’t cause a woman 9 months of pain just to desert her and prevent her from having any more kids, and he would be saving a child from the nightmare that is the foster system. it’s a very viable option considering he has money to pay for medical bills, and yet he chose to be terrible.