American Problems Sound Ridiculous to Other Countries - Joe Machi
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- čas přidán 21. 02. 2020
- Joe Machi wonders why Bill Gates asks other people to donate to his charity and imagines what it’s like to explain first-world problems to someone from a third-world country.
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"Why is the richest person ever, asking the non richest people ever to send him cash' and "You'll have my donation over my dead body, Bill" ARE THE BEST THINGS I'VE VE EVER HEARD
Bill: I take that as consent
It's called a tax deduction. I'd rather give it to the Gates Foundation to do whatever good they can do, than give it to the tax man and see it pissed away on roads to nowhere and meaningless foreign wars.
@@nonyadamnbusiness9887 about that...
Missed opportunity:
"You throw money into a wishing well? What do you wish for?"
"Usually, we wish that we had more money."
I live in Las Vegas...you are "spot on "!!
lmao thats genius
“nonononono we poison the water!” Had me DEAD
Literally
I didn't get that joke. Do you guys add chemicals to that water or something ?
@@bajiraosingham9495 chlorine, so that algae doesn't grow in it
@@rayajayce2034 He was right. They don't understand.
"And if the pool's above ground, you're poor." 🤣
He looks adorable and terrifying at the same time.
100% accurate 😂
That's his schtick...
Libertad hah I laughed at tbhsi
Definitely adorafying.
You hit it on the nail LOL ✌️
“A swimming pool is a *crocodile free* private lake”
Me: *laughs in florida*
In every bit of comedy, there is a hint of truth - which is what makes us laugh.
he didn't say nuthin about no gators..
the chlorine doesn't hurt them?
@@gp9550 does it hurt you? Look at your skin, then look at an alligator or crocodile :) I think they're ok in chlorine.
@@gp9550 it does, of course, it hurts every living cell. But they do not LIVE in the pools, they just hunt there.
Cashiers ask you for donations because the million and billion dollar corporations they work for would rather donate your money than their own, that way they get the tax break AND the profits
uneedh2o 🤯
"Woah how dare a company use tactics that cause no harm in order to make more money!?! Grrrrr! I hate it when people are more successful than me and don't donate all their money! Grrrr!"
@@ness7342 It's not a scam. The money is going to charity. Most intelligent people do understand this. Practically no one donates anymore and most companies use their own money. Either way it's not a scam.
@@ness7342 temporarily? Do you think that the charities have to give back the money? The companies aren't stealing your money, they're just benefitting from giving the money you donated. It's a win-win-win situation
If you paid attention the company says it will match all donations. That is the challenge, to have you determine how much they pay.
A cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the local food pantry. I replied, "No, I'll probably be making a visit there soon." I was actually dead serious the way things are going.
There is a book called The Game of life and How to play it by Florence Scovel. That joke reminded me of a story in there. You might find it interesting
@Mr. Cool Don't be a jerk. Or an ignoramus. (Look it up. )
@Mr. Cool oh i didn’t know helping people because you have basic human empathy means you’re a socialist.
if that’s your definition of socialism, then i’m the biggest communist you’ll ever meet.
@Mr. Cool giving to charities is the polar OPPOSITE of socialism, dumba$$… Charities are capitalism’s answer to addressing poverty.
Sad that this is a bit too accurate for how inflated all the prices are here in america
Joe’s morbid sense of humor combined with his awkward delivery really just gets me every time. Guy is hilarious. 😂
He really gets under your skin. I kinda like it. But honestly it's really hard to be a comedian in our pc world .. I mean people find it so hard to laugh because they don't wanna be "one of those people".
I _just_ discovered this guy. I think he's absolute gold. Wish I could find longer clips of his material.
He’s an icon
“If your pool is above ground it means your poor” 😂🤣
Yep. I paid $25 for that kiddy wading pool. A better investment than taking the family to the movies (with popcorn and soda, and a snack on the way home.)
*FACTS*
I wish I was poor enough to afford an above ground pool...
@@amphibeingmcshpongletron5026
Indeed
Lmao 🤣... give more jokes! I wish you could hit me up privately
"Not so good...too many fat kids....🤷🏽♀️ too much food over here!" 😂😂😂😂😂
Lol too many soft parents more like..when i was a kid mom's said "get out my face" which meant take yo ass outside😂
@@MrMutou Same here!!! We were outside (other than homework and supper) until the street lights came on...bath and bedtime! 🤷🏽♀️
@@trickyzenmom Exactly!
@@trickyzenmom good times up the hill 🤙🏾 my dad would whistle from the backyard and I could hear it all the way up the street and that meant time to come home lol
@@Sickwitit18 yessss! 😂 my mom had a super loud red whistle she blew if she needed us back in for something before the street lights clicked on. Very distinct sound. Good times back then!
This man could say anything and his delivery makes it funny
“…and if the pool’s above ground, that means you’re poor.”
That got me! XDDD
Me, a European, reads the title: “This oughta be good”
M 08 unless you’re Eastern European you’re still a first world country with first world problems.
@@Overton_Windows Greece here. You were saying?
Me, a South African
@@brilleargasm7342 how are things going in South Africa right now
But all these things can be said about Europeans too.
When you give to charity even though you need the charity yourself XD
Yuh I can relate to that
@Agent J failure??
Empathy.
when people ask me to donate to charities i politely say "oh, no thank you!"
as if they're the ones offering me something!
Hahahahahahahahhah
@No No If it's a cashier, they don't actually care. Their employers require them to ask. You're being rude to the wrong people.
Well, they are offering you the opportunity to donate lol
"No thank you, the offer was rewarding enough." Hahaha!!!
How is that answer give any indication of you feeling sorry for them?
Rich people asking for money for their charity, is like a kid with a thousand Hershey Bars telling the kid with one Hershey Bar he should split his in half and share with others.
Quite possibly the best critique of the excesses of western living I've seen so far.
Oh, and when we throw that money out, we make sure to only throw out coins with actual intrinsic value, and when we're not throwing them into a pit so deep they cannot be recovered, we throw them into fountains and chastise anyone who tries to fish them out.
Now, let me tell you what donuts are. Basically, that is our word for when we convert a large portion of our abundant agricultural resources into little delicacies that go stale so quickly the majority of them end up in a dumpster shortly after being made. Oh, and yes, we punish the hungry people who try to take them from the dumpsters before the donuts can be rendered permanently inedible.
I got an ad for a charity on this video... I think they're listening
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
When a cashier asked me to round up to "support the troops" I said that I already support the troops.
She asked "family?"
No. I pay taxes.
It was awkward. But then I asked if she could round down to support me. I thought it sounded fair.
There's a guy who asks the cashier for 10% off. "Do you have a coupon?" they always ask. "No, I'd just like 10% off." And sometimes it works!
It would embarrass my ex-wife every time. So there was no actual downside.
Heyo, the most heavily-funded organization in the world, considered by everyone other autonomous State on the planet to be a terrorist organization, wants MORE of YOUR money. Do YoU wANa sUpOrT THe tRoOPs?
Rich people give to charity to avoid paying taxes and look generous while doing so.
Exactly. These companies that ask for donations to a dedicated charity/ies get tax breaks anyway. If I want to donate something, I'd rather donate food, clothes, toys, etc., to my local charity organisations and directly help my own community. The larger national and international ones already have big benefactors lol
Doesn't matter end result is Charities are getting money.
No nononono....we poison the water...
What's a swimming pool?.....oh you're not going to like this 😂
“Crocodile-free private lake” lmao
As a south African he's right
Just for that: you are never getting Elon Musk back.
Yeah South African are mostly very skinny people, and nobody has ever heard of swimming pools.
As a South African, we also have an obesity problem, and there are by-laws in Johannesburg about having fences around your swimming pool because too many children have drowned in them. You would have to live somewhere very rural not to have swum in a swimming pool or at least seen one.
When you get to KFC and ask you, how many kids you'd like to sponsor, feels so attacking
@@ItumelengS giving that R2 is a touchy subject.... I don't even know if the money actually reaches the kids
This is such a hard type of comedy to attempt and succeed and Joe is so good at delivering. This guy is a genius and is so impressive as a unique comedian; he deserves a larger audience who appreciates and cognize his art form.
He had me at “We poison the water.”
Love seeing him on Gutfield too.
I swear he looks like what I think a Cherub looks like.
A beast-faced 4 winged, eye covered terrifying creature from the bible who guards the throne of God?
Harsh bro.
@@ravissary79 sounds metal AF
@@DarkManSonian it is... it so very much is.
Look at some of the cherub paintings from the Sistine Chapel by Michelangelo. Now ask yourself: Is the face of Joe Machi what I really want looking down at me, clad in a skimpy toga, batting his wings and eyes at me?
@@TheTibetyak Yes, why yes I think I do.
“Over my dead body, Bill” 🤣🤣🤣
Those grocery stores asking for donations aren't doing it to help. Imagine the millions of dollars that we give them and they turned around and ride it off on their taxes. Only a fool will donate through a retail or a grocery store
His cheek bones are amazing!
Looks like him and Pee-Wee Herman share the same make-up artist.
Pee-Wee Herman *is* his make-up artist.
Bro looks like a 40 lesbian and a 10 year old little boy at the same time
True that
Ha ha yep
I just assumed he was a trans male until I read about him and apparently not.
@@kevinfan726 He's not?! Wow
@@Spidido Nah he's just like that. I remember seeing him on Last Comic Standing years ago. I'm glad he's toned down the squeaky voice.
Reminds me of Weird Al’s song, First World Problems, from which my favorite line is: My Sonicare won’t recharge and now I gotta brush my teeth like a neanderthal! -Phill, Las Vegas
😂
1:10 That grin after he said "I don't care" is hilarious.
Sharing this from another list, but it's along the same lines
“Most of those kids are dead now” fucking LOL
“ we poisoned the water” 😂😂
Joe, “oh I’m sorry, I don’t care about the orphans”. “A crocodile free private lake we keep in our back yards and never use”. Brilliant!!! When is Joe coming to Buckhead?
Joe Machi is genius. Comedy gold.
What a funny woman! Great show!
You should not be boasting that much about yourself Kid, it's weird... 😐
That's a guy
He has a consistent deer in headlights look
This comedian was on a season of Last Comic Standing. He didn't win, sadly, despite being the funniest one there.
That was a pretty tough season though. Joe did well and clearly created a name for himself, so thats good at least.
I watched that season and I was bummed that he didn't win
Joe was my favorite 😭
Meh, he got torched by Sam Morril. Even in this set I don't find him excessively funny; he makes me smile but these are good points I have already heard from regular people and from comics (even though I can't quite remember who I have heard it from before as of now).
@@j-hp2449 it’s not his material that makes him great, it’s the delivery, he can say just about anything and make it funny all because of his stilted awkwardness.
When he said Bill Gates said his riches would be donated after he died, me and my broke ass thought out loud, "Well, same" like what riches 😂
Great swimming pool humor
Reminds me of the character Pat
Joe Wisniewski I wonder how you pronounce your surname
@@LovelyAngel. "Smith"
HELL YEAH 🤣🤣🤣🤣 i have NEVER seen a reference to that movie EVER 😖😭💖💖💖💖
@@LovelyAngel. wis-new-skee
Joe Wisniewski perfect description !!!! Soooo confusing
I love this dudes stand-up. One of the funniest people to do it.
Can't wait to see this guy again in March!!
Bro this guy is hilarious. Hope to see more of him
Love this guy, think he's hilarious. Execution of his jokes is really good.
I loved "no, no, no. We poison the water."
Joe is great. Watched him from when he was on Red Eye
This is the face of confusion, it confuses me. 😂😂😂😂
Quoin Entertainment 😂😂
Perhaps the most underrated standup comedian working today.
I just simply say I'm not gonna contribute to some CEOs bloated salary under the illusion of charity. Do your research...everyone paid a million dollars and zero profit....best scam going today!
Second best scam, religions got this beat.
@Tala Habern when you donate at stores the stores then donate that to what ever charity they choose and use all the donations as a tax write off. Large stores usually use charities they have a hand in. You're actually helping the rich guy 2x
"...You're not gonna like this" 😆
Wow, someone's being real brave and honest. I did not expect this. And I am so pleased.
I laughed for so long when he said, "We poison the water," that I got exercise.
saw you on Gutfeld and loved your routine
“You’re not gonna like this...”
Take a bow Joe Machi! Amazing 5 minutes!
This is excellent quality stand up.
Very good! This set is tight!
He looks so uncomfortable up there...but it adds to the act. 7/10 I like it.
I needed this, thank you… 😂
Joe is the kid! Love him, and this was a great special when it was on. Kinda of weird that Comedy Central is putting out this chunk with no real ending as standalone clip now, but whatever. Go see Joe live, and listen to his podcast 'Keeping Joe'!
One thing you should know about wishing wells though: I don't know about you people in USA, but over here in Europe that money is collected to actually help maintaining the city, the very old architecture etc. which costs AL LOT! So that is actually donating to the maintenance of the community with a specific purpose (where tax distribution will not necessarily do a good job).
There is enough money and resources. It's ALWAYS that darn distribution problem.
Plus, for a rule: no status will save us of problems 😂 They occur in any situation but they do occur on completely different levels. Which is another reason we'd all do better if we distributed resources more evenly. We'd have more even distribution of issues on comparable levels and could concentrate research and funds on a smaller scale of issues. Which makes even just the logistics part if it much cheaper.
That last bit is so damn true though
Insanely accurate!!🤣🤣🤣
His jokes are getting better and more refined good job freak face :)
Guy sounds like all of Jeff Dunham's puppets put together
😂😂😂
That was great!! Haha
FUNNY!!! Thanks for sharing 😂🤣😅👏🏿
I love this guy
He is unique and it works
First time seeing him, because I saw him on FOX today. Looked this up and man is he the funniest guy. Yes the delivery is as perfect as can be.
Love this guy!
I HAVE SO MANY PROBLEMS! 😭 this made me laugh, very good 👏🏼
This is his best set yet
Last Comic Standing brought me here.🤣🤣🤣
LOL that was hilarious 😂
Oh man I really love Joe Machi
The wishing well joke is hilarious.
I always say no but thanks for asking😁
Very fresh material.
I feel like he sounds like Frances McDormand from Fargo, the movie. I love it! Hahahaha
“Me too!” Hahaha
I love those NFL football matches!!! My favorite part is when a player catches a goal!
LOVE JOE MACHI ❤️
Joe Machi is probably favorite comedian
He is even funnier in person, and he's a real nice guy.
Thank God for Joe Machi.
good stuff
I. Laughed. So. Hard.
💀💀💀
Jiminy Cricket this ma...wo... comic had me laughing non-stop.
“Pool above ground means you’re poor.” 🤣🤣🤣
Real Talk
Now that's a funny set!
Lol I wish this was longer
Timmy from Whitest Kids U Know is doing well for himself!
We have so much clean water, even in a drought we still poop in perfectly drinkable water and then flush it away. Hell, we heat and pour gallons of it over our heads every day just to feel fresh.
It depends where you live. Most municipalities do not use potable water for toilets. A few do.
@@calisongbird I'm not aware of any place in the US that distributes both potable and non-potable water to houses. Where do they do that?