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If Companies Were Honest
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 23. 09. 2022
- A collection of my most viral videos from my first ever series "If They Were Honest".
Also thank you all for helping me get to 300k subscribers! This ride has been a dream for me and the love and support has been incredible since the day I started posting on CZcams. Making people laugh is all I care about and I'm so happy to get to keep doing this everyday and have an audience that's so loving and supportive. I won't stop posting til i'm dead. Love ya'll!đ
Don't forget to subscribe if you enjoy my videos!
Thanks for watching!
Follow me on stuff:
Tiktok @Landokalriz
IG @Lando_kalriz
GIVE THIS MAN HIS OWN TV SHOW! ABSOLUTELY HYSTERICAL!
Youâre too kind thank youđ
He is not kind he is to right đ€Łđ€Ł
@@landokalriz you deserve your own Netflix series
@@landokalriz Netflix has an offer for you
Ur right
His straight face literally kills me
đđđŒđđŒđđŒ
You after seeing his faceđ
@@landokalriz holy shit its yoyu
@@polakrodak8538 lmfaoo
itâs gonna kill you literally
4:46 As a Costco employee. I can definitely find this perfectly accurate. đ
đđ
cool
Expect for the shirt because it have to be a collar shirt at my Costco
@@sonicboom2468 same for mine but we donât care about the color
Does every costco look near the same on the inside
These videos are SOO underrated! The emotionless sentences always be killing me đ
đdry and sarcastic is my entire life, lol
Lmao
@@landokalriz I literally talk hella sarcastic when being brutally honest and Not giving a shit
Bro reappeared, how? He was incognito.
@@landokalrizme too when Iâm brutally honest but comical when I joke around
âWe have plenty of employees to help you with that⊠but none of them will help you with that.â đ got me
The fact that this man can keep a straight face is amazing. I laugh every time đ keep it up!
đthanks man Preciate itâ€
Facts
*Bet that thereâs been over 10 shots of him lauaghing but never showed it.*
@@landokalrizIâm shocked you have bloopers
âWe only sell our meat by the cowâ that got me đ
Timestamps:
- 0:00 Subway
- 0:36 Chipotle
- 1:28 Apple (2030)
- 2:21 Whole Foods
- 3:04 Retail Stores
- 4:00 Starbucks
- 4:46 Costco
- 5:39 Arbyâs
- 6:29 Click-fli-A
- 7:17 Banks
- 8:21 Hotels
- 9:05 McDonaldâs
- 10:00 DoorDash
- 10:43 Waffle House
- 11:15 Spirit Airlines
- 12:04 CZcamsrs be like
I can't even comment on the KFC that I work at.
The mcdonald's one XD
No one asked
@@tirubachiniechetty51 no one cares +i don't care
@@Poland3500 do I look like I care
I'm so glad you chose to make this into a compilation. Thank you for this!
Thank you for watching manâ€
That point about nobody asks to find shit in Retail Food stores is so on point. đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
5:40 THE WHOLE ARBY SCENCE OMG I ALMOST DIED đđ KEEP ON THE GOOD WORK!:)
Me too!!!!!đ€Łđ€Ł
Arbyâs we donât have the fucking meats
The Chick-fil-A is pretty accurate also love your content!
Thank you broâ€
My pleasure
As a McDonald's worker, this is 100% accurate
đ
3:28 LMFAO so true, especially here in New Zealand. We don't go up to a staff member, we just walk around the aisles for like 20 minutes before finding what we were looking for
Really hope you get big soon. Your content is so original and hilarious
IKR
My family cannot afford Taxing Tim Ryan
Thank youđ â€
this man is singlehandedly exposing so many companies.
if a rebellion starts on any of these companies i think Lando will be the one leading it
Lando's straight face is the absolute human version of theđemoji. Absolutely hilarious đ€Ł
'Name and FUCKING ADDRESS please" that killed me đ
Your skits are so funny and seem so rude but youâre so wholesome in the comments. You deserve more.
Thanks my dude I appreciate itđđŒ
His pitch to sponsors should be "Pay me and I'll do nothing. Specifically, I'll stop talking about your company." We're all sitting here wondering how he covers his expenses because he's clearly demonetised and he hasn't mentioned a sponsor. Meanwhile every episode as 25 sponsors.
How do you not laugh doing this, this content is gold
đthatâs my dry sarcasm at work, and thank youđđŒ
@@landokalriz Np bro
It's not funny. It's the truth.
Disgusting society we have.
âIâm gonna eat it regardlessâ
I feel like thatâs why food companies keep getting away with crap. đ
Yeah consumers are idiots
Customer: "Im guessing the McRib is gone?"
McDonalds: "Yes, only when you're here"
đ
I work in retail; Costco. This guy hits the nail on the head on how painful it is to work in retail/customer service and deal with stupid ass customers.
Dude that pokemon Go in the "follow me on everything" part was too pro
I found him through shorts and now i m addicted to his content.. keep up the great work mate
Thanks watching man i appreciate youđđŒđđŒ
Messi the goat đ
đźđ·đźđ¶
3:05 I do indeed work at Kroger and that is exactly what goes through my mind when people ask me where something is in the store
3:59 that was certainly the most awkward cleanup to come over to for the worker. They just have a broom and they see the body and they're like "uhh.. is this the mess? Nah. I dont get paid enough." And just walks away.
"Get out of my car or I will kill us both"
Jesus that went from a 2 to a 10 very quick XD
Every time this man leaves me dying from laughter
The f me jokes always get međ. This guy is amazing keep up the amazing comedyđ
Thank youuđđŒ
1:06 itâs funny how the customer automatically knows that itâs a no when he makes that face đđđ
This dude roasted every company, and i respect the hell out of him for it
As a doordash driver I gotta tell ya we are legally not allowed to open the bag and go through it to see if everything is there, we don't have a food handling license. Delivery of a sealed container/bag doesn't require one, but actually handling food does.
"that's the wrong name and you spelt the wrong name wrong" đ
BRO I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD!đ€Łđ€Ł
đđ
@@landokalrizme too especially when you bleep out the swear words
10:58 "Just kidding, sir, no one has teeth here."
Meanwhile...Lando Kalriz, with his well-maintained chompers
The retail worker skit is so accurate in regards to what customers do.
âNAME AND FUCKING ADDRESSâ đđ
THIS MAN HAS MASTERED COMEDY
đđno such thing my friend
5:09 Selling meat by the cow lmao
9:11 This one is actually relatable. There are a lot of times where they didn't have my lovely Cheedarburger.(đđ„)
This happens to me way too much
The Chick-Fil-A one is no joke. I once went there for lunch and the drive-thru line was all the way to the shoulder of the highway.
6:59, He uses a nintendo switch lol
The fact you can do all this with a straight face is just absolute Chad-tier đ
This man is fricking hilarious. I can'tđ
đđ
I'm going to be honest here. You probably have the absolute best sense of Humour I've ever seen. And if making people laugh is your main goal, then you should be GODDAMN proud.
Dude your too kindđđŒđđŒ
The retail store one was more like if retail customers were honest:"Help! I need help finding this very simple thing that is clearly marked, both by a sign hanging above my head, as well as an entire section of it!"
This dude deserves his own TV show and much more I love your videos.
"And I don't suppose the ice cream machine still works?" That's a stupid fucking question sir.đđđ
You can fly Spirit for like $30, but your check in bag is $60 and a pop is $4 and a beer is $10, it's ridiculously easy to spend as much as a first class flight on Delta and still hate it. Thank you for flying Spirit.
3:34 - Exactly, this associate gets it. You wouldn't believe how many times customers asked me stuff (specifically the same thing) where there is literally a giant sign that says it. Customers likes wasting more time finding associates than finding a product. Which I think is easier than finding an associate.
In the Chick-Fil-A video, he is carrying a freaking Nintendo Switch as a tablet. Now that is some improvisation! đ
Taco Bell: "Welcome to Taco Bell, sir. I'm glad you were able to make it inside while we actually had our doors unlocked so you didn't have to sit 2 hours in our drive thru line."
Lando: "Thanks. Hey, I noticed your prices have gone up."
Taco Bell: "Yeah, we're still having trouble getting people to buy our disgusting breakfast at 7 AM so we had to double our advertising budget and hire *more* obnoxious celebrities to sell our crap."
Lando: "I'd like a Burrito Especial Combo. That's the one with 80% rice and a scoop of "beef" which is actually mostly grain filler. Right?"
Taco Bell: "Great choice sir, that will be $11.43. Be sure to come back in an hour when you're inevitably hungry again after taking a massive s**t 10 minutes after finishing."
" Is the ice cream machine still not working?"
" Now that's a stupid fucking question."
Truth at its's finest! đ
The youtuber one got me. Because every youtuber I watched as a kid went threw that all. The 15% express VPN was so funny to me because I know a youtuber that's always getting sponsored by them
I came across this video and OH MY GOSH I watched barely 3mins 30secs of it and my stomach and throat are HURTING from laughing SO DAMN HARD. The humor is OUTSSTANDING. I know a few people who would absolutely laugh their butts off at this video. Excellent job with the humor. The fact you can keep a straight face the whole time makes it that much more funny. You sir need a TV show like others have said. I needed a little break to relax my stomach and my body so i can laugh a lot more.
"We don't believe in saving money, sir" My favorite
When he said "you have plenty of time to go f*ck yourself" I almost choked on my food. Hilarious.
"ARBYS WE HAVE THE MEATS THAT NO ONE EVER FUCKING EATS" 5:39
Also love that he is using a switch for a ordering tablet. 6:34
"Oh and don't for get your tip!" *Reloads a gun* 10:39
I really enjoy your videos, they make me laugh daily đâ€
Glad to hear itđ
best content ever, please do about introvert in schools
Thanks manâ€
@@landokalriz don't mention it,wish you all best of luck in life
"Clean up on aisle 5 HEY SIR"đđ
I never knew how passive aggressive someone could be until I watched this video
There is no limit my friend
6:36 bro holding a nintendo switch lmao
To this day, the "If Apple was honest" is the funniest to me.
If UPS was honest, "Our delivery drivers never close their driver doors."
đ the idea that chik fil a sends employees 7 miles down the road đ
Probably depends on how long the drive through line is... oh, yeah, he touched on that one too.
This was hilarious, and so darn spot-on! Fantastic job! I could see something like this being in Family Guy! đ€Ł
I love how for chick-fil-a he is holding a switch
The McDonalds video is so true personally, like the ice cream machine is never working.
I think they made an app specifically for mcds with faulty ice cream machines... not thr mcds app, but a diffy third party one that predated it. Also, pro tip, you can find out if the ice cream machine is working at a specific mcds bybtrying to order ice cream from it on their app.
POV: *you knew the Dislikes were the real company workers*
Stocker: Clean up on aisle 5
*Gun Cocked*
Stocker: Hey sir
Me:đ
3:50
0:01 me eating a foot long turkey pepperoni with cheese:đ€Łđ€Ł
The mcdonalds guy was so respectful while giving no f*cks
The Costco one Jesus christ Iâm dyingđđ
đđ
Your sarcasm is on next level bro đ
Found your shorts recently now I'm addicted to these đ đ€Łđ€Ł
đthanks manđđŒ
@@landokalrizme too
Ever since I found one of your videos, I decided to watch more of them, I really love your sense of humor and this compilation is pretty amazing, keep up the good work!
Thanks bro I appreciate it!
Do you wash your hands?
No sir, we don't wash anything heređđđ€Łđ€Ł
Waffle house looking not open was relatable af đ
I WAS LITERALLY SEARCHING FOR A COMPILATION OF YOUR VIDEOS LIKE 3 DAYS AGO AND YOU DROPPED THIS.
THANK YOU.
đthanks for watching!
@@landokalriz no no, thank YOU.
Please do Dunkin donuts, Auntie Anne's , uber Wal-Mart or target next time. You are so funny .
I literally canât take the strait face. How does he do it. I love a good laugh. lol. Great job
Probably insoired by his actual experiences as a customer at all these companies. It's not Straight-Faced Comedy; it's Restrained Rage expressed as Sarcasm.
I would've added to the Spirit clip: "Yes, I need a ticket from Los Angeles to San Fransisco." "Have fun in Vegas!"
The Starbucks one had me dying đđđđâ ïžđ
đ
These were mostly funny (and accurate), but Iâm going to have to complain about the hotel one. My dadâs a platinum member at one chain, and they would literally move mountains if he asked them to. I know that doesnât speak for all of them, but hotels are far random in quality than a Chick-fil-A or McDonalds.
Real companies trying to sue this man right now
The way he keeps a straight face the whole time
4:34 whatâs your name, uhh Chris, perfect this right, thatâs the wrong name and you spelled the wrong name wrong, whatever I tried đ lol
Still don't know how this guy doesn't have 10 mil subs XD
đthatâs the dream I appreciate youđđŒ
As a drive through employee at McDonald's, the number of people that have ordered things we no longer serve is uncountable. You were spot on with that.
F*** me with steak please đ also I donât know how this guy doesnât break down laughing đ
My dad got mad because of how loud I was laughing, one of the best videos I'VE seen!
Bro 6:55 got me dead.
Oh god I remember this doordash one... it had my co-workers looking at me
đgotta keep that volume down
OMG the CZcams parody was spot on - I am so sick and tired of 6 minute videos with 2 minutes of sponsor crap - a 30 second intro that sucks and then 2 minutes of begging to buy merch, subscribe and like - nailed it
GIVE THIS GUY A WHOLE MOVIE OR PARODIES ITS TOO PERFECT MY GUY AND ITS TRUE
0:31 welp now its triple
just went to the mcdonaldâs next to my house. waited in line for 10 minutes just to find out they closed because they were understaffed
Sad đ
@@landokalriz working there currently lol
This happened at an LJS near me
"I love coming here." After all the bullsh*t, legend has it he's still saying "I love coming here."