Emily Ratajkowski Opens Up About Divorce for the First Time | Going Mental Podcast
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- čas přidán 16. 03. 2023
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Emily Ratajkowski is an author, model, actor, entrepreneur, and host of the podcast High Low with EmRata. She opens up to Eileen about processing her need for validation and confronting her own contradictions. She also touches on the end of her marriage, what it means to perpetuate toxic beauty standards, and how she uplifts other women and femme-presenting people.
Saying "the world wouldn't be any different if I didn't post my naked pics, so I will not acknowledge the responsibility and ripple effect my massive platform has on the culture, and alter the way I post" is just like Jeff Bezos saying the world isn't going to stop abusing workers if he does, so he might as well keep doing it too.
She and her refusal to show anything but perfection (never a single bad day, never a bad angle, she admits) to her tens of millions of followers for over 10 years now is a big reason why the culture is the way it is. The problem was never that she was sexy, nor that she flaunted it -- but the extent to which she did, only to then blame the system, totally decredibilizes her.
0:22: 📚 Emily Ratajkowski discusses her career, the criticism she faces for being a sexy woman, and how her views on femininity and sexuality have evolved.
6:41: 😔 The speaker reflects on the responsibility of perpetuating harmful stereotypes and the personal and systemic factors that contribute to it.
14:04: 📚 The speaker discusses her experiences with insecurity and body image as a model and how social media has exacerbated these issues.
20:42: 👥 The speaker discusses the addiction to external validation and how it affects relationships.
28:04: 😅 The speaker discusses their preference for being dominant or submissive in relationships and their attraction to masculinity, but also the difficulty of finding someone who is both caring and interesting.
34:48: 💔 The speaker discusses her decision to end her marriage, the speculation of infidelity, and the challenges of navigating a breakup as a single mother.
41:41: 👥 The speaker discusses their transition from seeking validation from others to finding purpose in relationships and personal growth, acknowledging their polarizing nature and the impact of haters on their self-esteem.
49:08: 😕 The speaker discusses the pressure to be perfect and the impact of social media on self-image.
55:44: 🎙 The speaker discusses the importance of giving a platform to marginalized voices and exploring difficult topics on her podcast.
1:02:40: 📷 The speaker discusses the pressure to conform to unrealistic beauty standards and the impact of posting images of oneself online.
1:09:43: 💁 The discussion revolves around the acceptance and normalization of getting cosmetic procedures done, particularly among younger generations.
Recap by Tammy AI
Thanks to you, I could get a rough idea of the content discussed within minutes!
I really appreciate the host pushing Emily to answer the very important question of "do you believe you're adding to the oppressive and damaging female beauty standards".. because yes, she absolutely is. I also appreciate Emily's point that traditionally beautiful, skinny women should not feel shame about their body, which is not what anyones asking for. I agree with the suggestion the host gives about Emily posting more "everyday" photos where she's not hyper-flexed, hyper-posed, and not trying to be hot but rather just being a human and letting her body relax and just be. I think Jameela Jamil is a great example of this. She is, by all beauty standards, hot and she posts pictures of herself looking hot because we love a girly feeling herself, but she also posts moments of insecurity where she's not posing and trying to make her body look desirable or trying to make her body look like anything, but rather is just letting her body be. Emily gets the bad rap of being just "the hot girl", which is sexist and reductive, but she also only posts/shares her body/face when she's looking hot. I really do like so many of the conversations Emily has opened up about and appreciate her perspective, but I can't help but feel like she has a lot of definitive and strong arguments and opinions around issues where someone else is the "perpetrator" but when she's in the hot seat and is being held accountable for the role she plays in promoting unrealistic beauty standards and playing to the male gaze, she gets quiet and is like.. well I'm just one person, I can't change anything. I don't know.. I feel conflicted.
The day Emily Ratajkowski accepts her role in marginalising women to heteronormative, sexualised, hyper postured caricatures, is the day she stops making money off her image.
Exactly
I think Eileen is the one host I have seen in a VERY long time (if ever) that asked the questions that the audience wanted asked and didn’t sugar coat questions. This made me subscribe to this podcast, I’m impressed. Please do not change your direction, Eileen.
Yes!! My first interview watching Eileen and she absolutely killed it😍
Same, Eileen deserves the platform Alex Cooper has. E is a masterful interviewer.
Totally agree! Also, she asked the questions in a very sensitive way so therefore it wasn't offensive. I like that.
@@nataliebuchoz7246 Eileen deserves Alex’s platform. Alex doesn’t know how to interview.
When she gave her take on Emily’s dating history I was like 😮 so true - brave, honest, no sugarcoating for the sake of a real conversation.
She has more power than she realizes and blaming the system is lazy. Posting the way she does “feels good” because she still earns money from the inherent privilege that she has. When she gets older and the looks fade, her perspective will shift. I do appreciate the empathy and consideration she has for others. We are all growing and learning to be more grateful. She’s on her way.
lol why do u think her perspective will change? lots of those type of models like bianca balti & laetitia casta etc all have kids that r models now too that seems to happen a lot - she has her own swim line & a lot of close connections/ relationships in the industry just because she saw some flaws w/ how women r treated in the industry doesn’t means she will turn her back on it the moments she doesn’t get $ to post in a bikini - i think she just wants to make it better
@@sabrage8494 simple answer: your perspective should always be changing. It’s a sign that you’re growing.
but i gave the example of how many models known for their body now have kids that r models so ur argument that once ur looks fade u instantly change ur perspective on making $ on ur image doesn’t make sense or why would those models wants their kids to be models too like heidi klum
@@sabrage8494 those models haven't made feminism part of their brand or been preaching about those things. When she's older she will hopefully realize the power she had at this moment in time and the ways she could have used it better and been less self serving. It sounds like in her late twenties she had already realized some of the traps she fell into in her early twenties and teens. She had good intentions but put herself in a bind by trying to be the face of feminism because individual women can't be the perfect feminist
I think growing older will be very difficult for her but very transformative.
Emily didn't understand when Eileen talked about plastic surgery. The issue, Emily, is not about explaining things to people, it's not about privacy, as she quoted. It's about this mania that you famous people have to have plastic surgery and vehemently deny it, while posting pictures being impeccable and, at the same time, wanting to show that you are a "clean girl" aesthetic. There are no problems with having cosmetic surgeries, the problem is doing it and denying it to millions of followers and fans, making people think that that symmetrical face really exists, that that perfect mouth exists, that the face with the right cheekbones is real. Some celebrities are super open about their procedures (such as Anitta, Chrissy Teigen, Priyanka Chopra, Courteney Cox, etc.) and this is not about privacy, it's about not deceiving followers and fans, because perfection doesn't exist, unless you really go to an operating room.
The voice fry in this interview is on another levelllllllll
ANNOYING
Loved the questions/dialogue/rawness of this.
I like Emily as a person, but that question was so on point. I do believe that she's been perpetuating the very thing that she supposedly is against, and the people who suffer are generally the women who aren't privileged and protected like herself.
Not to say that Eileen is different, she admits to doing the exact same thing. That's where I struggle to respect these views because the actions are so contradictory and harmful, yet they can talk and talk about how hard it is for women, especially for poor, underprivileged women, who get the worst of it. You get your platform by catering to the male gaze and posting dishonest material, and then you call yourself a victim. Something doesn't add up.
Wow I am so impressed by her wisdom and strength. I can totally relate.
I really, really enjoyed this conversation...love Emily❤
Really enjoyed hearing Emily’s thoughts on the Chloe episode in retrospect. That must have been a complicated thing to approach but I agree that she did the best job she could.
Amazing conversation. Lots I relate too and lots of concepts that click into place.
I love this conversation. Emrata is amazing! 🌹
eileen asking all the RIGHT questions >>> love this
It's nice to see Emrata on this podcast. She did touch up on a lot of subjects that need to be talked about. She is truly my inspiration and role model. I look up to the both of you. Great podcast episode! Can't wait for more xoxo
That is so sad. Of all people to idolise.
Yikes
THIS IS THE BEST EMRATA INTERVIEW EVER. You two are vibing.
Love the line “coming back to myself”
I may be wrong, but it feels like she tries to over-explain her reasons for posting what she does and I think it is why people are frustrated. It's ok to feel comfortable in your body and wanting to show it off, it doesn't always have to have a message, you can simply enjoy it. I kind of wish she would just say that. I see the disconnect that other people refer to. There are a lot of women on the internet who post their pics and it's a much more relaxed vibe. Her "men are trash" comment really threw me, sigh...we'll never make progress this way.
Really love these questions and this interview to ask all the hard questions! Kind of sick of all the other the pre-rehearsed conversations to make someone look better.
I agree with you. Her comment about " men are trash" also threw me off. Especially because she is a mother of a son. So I find disrespectful towards the opposite sex and overgenerelized
I think women like to be worshiped and adored for how they look and I think they should be. I think slut shaming comes into play when men can’t have those women or women get jealous. I don’t think it’s always about money. I think women like to be looked at and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I think it’s just understanding how we look at women should be with admiration and appreciation rather than possession or projecting our own self judgement or insecurities.
Agree
"I think slut shaming comes into play when men can't have those women or women get jealous."
I'm not jealous of men and women whose hobby is to sleep with half the city. Much less would I want to sleep with them 🤷🏻♀️ More often than not, they have mental issues. If they didn't, they will with that lifestyle along with numerous std's, abortions and unwanted children who'll grow up with issues too. Then the cycle repeats. Shaming can be a good thing here.
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar
don’t agree at all, it’s one thing to be seen and admired by yourself or ppl u care about it’s another to feel “validated” by attention from random people, i think the latter comes from patriarchy unfortunately
@@soultaex8080 oh interesting. Maybe that’s true. In an ideal world how would men and women relate to each other you think?
I think men get jealous of the attention that women get and feel invisible or like their sexuality is worthless. Maybe the issue isn’t that people like Emily ratajkowski sexualize themselves, the issue is that society sexualises women too much and men not at all.
This conversation was very eye opening to me, 2 strong women
Eileen is so good at interviewing and pressing great questions!!! I felt like Emily was a little disregarding and I loved how Eileen could keep the flow of the convo
Really appreciate Emily and how she thinks. But it almost feels like she’s biting the hand that feeds her. Her insta is enough proof on how she continues to commoditise her body. Also, blaming the system for her choices or the choices of women is not the best message? Ultimately it does come down to choices and I know that women don’t have many sometimes but it does come down to personal responsibility and preference.
I agree, I wanted to see if anyone else thought this but I remember seeing a sign on a charity shop once that said something along the lines of "every coin you spend counts as a vote, so what kind of world do you vote for?". Shifting "blame" is the easy route, each to their own but I think it takes a lot of courage/discipline to try and be the change you want to see in the world.
Tell me you don’t get it without telling me you don’t get it
she literally says she knows that what she is doing several or more times in this & it’s not that uncommon - muccia prada always said she hated luxury fashion & prada is obviously one of the biggest luxury brands etc also emrata recently said she auditioned for the part of yaya in triangle of sadness which if u have seen that film is critical of a lot of those subjects like gender roles and power dynamics but also emphasis there isn’t really an answer to solve them so i think emrata is very aware of what she is doing
@@karen_ka8027 Well then make it make sense
@@sabrage8494 where did she say that she auditioned for that role? the first thing i thought when i saw that film was that that character seemed inspired by emrata, she looks so much like her and even the luxury cruise stuff reminds me of a chapter of her book where she went with her ex bf to a luxury resort thanks to sponsors, exactly like in the film
Good job Bellabee. I liked the little hint you gave at 29:23. Thanks babe.
loved the episode, the message is so powerful and amazing, especially the point about respecting women even if you don’t agree with their perspective
That’s like saying respect someone even though i disagree with their perspective of 2+2=10
+charbet
The cringe of feminism idiocracy where they view is sex and the city
@@lionedheart tingles dictates facts nowadays
@@mrmoralman1 it sure does 😂
This title is clickbait because she literally says “I can’t talk about it” and doesn’t.
I loved the interviewers softness
I really appreciate the questions you asked her! With her posts online 👏 she is massively in denial and doesn’t address her impact on young women online
I'm not sure why, but this felt a bit awkward.
Totally agreed. Conversation didn’t flow naturally.
There’s a little tension btw them, like they’re being nice and polite to each other but the energy says smth else. Maybe they just don’t have much chemistry /aren’t very compatible vibe wise
agree "empowerment" can actually be delusions, you may feel empowered, when in fact you have little power to make significant changes in the world.
Loveee Em Rata and really love how real and open she is about her experiences. Extremelyyy refreshing
Just ordered her book from this! :) great discussion
Me too :)
I love that she's being honest about looking back into her 20s and how she's grown. Every girl has been there.
Im in my 20s n i can picture myself looking back like GIRL🤣🤣🤣
@@breeeque you will 😂 it's okay!
Really like this podcast but find Emily very surface level, she uses buzzwords and the 'correct' language but there is something disconnected with her. It seems impossible to relate to her even when talking about trauma and relatable problems most women have experienced. Its the same on her podcast, the conversation seems vapid even though the subject matter feels like it should be deep and hard hitting.
Yes she is just repeating bits of feminist theory out of real context
You hit the nail on the head
Literally before reading the comments I kept thinking, is it just me or do i find nothing relatable…
Very mundane
Wow so true. Completely agree. And also why isn’t she giving details. She expects everyone else to. Also she’s always talking about how sexual she is. There is a real disconnect
52:54
When she says "if it feels good, do it" -- that was a bumper sticker in the '70s haha
I love this conversation. Emily is great, I really admire her, and I did judged her in the past. I can admit that and it was wrong of me to do that. Now after hearing a lot more from her, I actually think she makes a lot of sense. Men just don’t get it.
The interview question 'do you wear the pants ' in a relationship...seems very old fashioned and like putting women down who have high earning . Would like to hear more celebration that finance is gender neutral and completely compatible with femininity . So are pants ! Skirts look nice on men too.
Great podcast 💖👍🏻
Your maturity is on another level .... I can feel the way you think and then listen to your words.. .... it is why I have to keep on going back to your tab and just look at you when you talk ... I could definitely get a weekly dose of Ms. Ratajkowski once per week ..... maybe like a Thursday night or something...
that was like the 7th time I had to go back to your words..... I could fall in love every time I spoke to you
We are witnessing a woman with a huge public profile work through an identity transition in a pretty raw unfiltered way
Everyone goes through this but in celeb world it’s managed and the jagged edges are smoothed over
That’s what’s jarring , we see her self involvement and contradictions writ large
She seems like a nice lady. A little sad. Hope things pick up for her.
this was amazing
Wow great questions 😁👏🏾👏🏾
love this episode love emrata
I love Emily so much 🤍
You have a wonderful sense of humor ...
kudos to Emily she is getting better and helping people
I love love love Emily. She's smart, wise, deep, beautiful, talented, skilled, progressive and kind
It’s nice to see how she’s mothering you here and not to put you down. It’s just that she is a Woman
Great video.🤩
I adored her book who could’ve thought such a gorgeous successful woman would have the same woes and body worries as a ‘normal’ person…
The customs asks everyone those kind of question is literally their job
With your baby being so young you have your whole world in front of you; so let the past stay in the past... the past is the past... and your body is a treasure not an object love... Sunsets, beaches, restaurants, sports, cheerleading, restaurants, kids places and vacationing in your backyard, amusement parks etc.... Volleyball... Don't be so difficult on yourself Emily ;) you are amazing... 💋💯❤
Emily gets hate for being comfortable in her skin and being herself. Women and men need to take a seat. Don't like her? Then why go out of your way to watch her videos and comment?
Love this and her honesty!!
YESSSS DISS DA FUCKIN CONTENT I NEEDED KEEP POSTIN 🗣‼️‼️
29:23 so I guess she was talking about Harry Styles….
lmaooo i came looking for this comment
loved it
These episodes should be part of school curriculum. We should listen and then talk about them. So good.
😂
Yikes 😂
if people changed how they acted everyday, then yes, the world would change. that’s how we would also end racism …
i can understand that an attractive women like her wants to be appreciated and recognized for other things that just her physical appearance .. on the otherhand emily is a sex symbol just like brad pitt is for women .. no matter what brad does or says he gets admired for his looks even at 50+ yrs old .. if your on that level of sexyness i guess theres no way around it 🤷🏻♂️ maybe she should just take it easy and playful i mean its not that deep but im with her that she shouldnt get shamed or insulted for whatever she does online even tho i dont see a problem in any of it tbh its just a form of art and in her case its her amazing body .. and all the men insulting her are the sames one consume follow and liking her content and the women that insult her are just jelous tbh ..
Tiktok is an amazing mirror🎉
Where is the time code?
Interesting conversations
No offense to Emily but there are many beautiful women in the world that do not commodify their bodies and choose to focus their time else where. I’m proud of her growth but I just still don’t get why she chooses to perpetuate a negative stereotype for women. People have always told me I could be a model or influencer but I choose not to post pictures or have an Instagram because it just weirds me out plus now that I’m a mom privacy is so important! Also I don’t want to put my time and energy into a false form of validation😬Imagine how amazing the world could be if all the women on Instagram did something that could help the world🤷🏼♀️🤩
Well said
This! Good words.
This
THIS
Totally agree
people really don't understand how traumatic being a woman labeled "beautiful" and "desirable" can be....... like they have no idea.
50:11 you can help curve how people perceive; role model, the jewelry you wear in your bedroom vs. outside the house etc. makes a difference.. ;) same with say that cute belt you have on ... people are going to be jealous but sexuality is needed and so is professionalism there is just a time and a place wonderful :) and you know the difference but some people are too insecure so they have to say something to make themselves feel better .... Come to Florida ... the West Coast is wonderful
Just found your channel. I'm listening. That girl looks like Kendal Jenner. Seeing another suggestion from your channel & the title makes me clutch my pearls. But I'll take a listening because it's important that we give women a safe space to talk openly about our experiences in this reality & not continue to find ourselves or hope to evolve spiritually our own nature through the male lenses, expectations or eternal condemnation. We have existed for so long in a system we didn't even realize was working double shift to erase our contributions in society. So we do need to continue to "empower" ourselves, never let go of that term, because it carries the wait of our females historical struggle like I mentioned above & because it essential for the next generation of girls coming. Men will always outsmart us, by simply yanking the chains of our hearts which gives them free access to our bodies & allows them to manipulate our perception according to their desires. And surprise surprise they will always out muscle us to take anything they want from us in total impunity just because they can. So we need to take back the control of our narrative. Will keep an eye on your channel your channel & I'm gonna subscribe & continue listening. Heavy responsibility you've taken on to be the repository of our voices. Take good care of your platform. Sending you hugs.
No Kendall Jenner looks like her. 😂 in fact I’m sure that KJ brought a picture of Emrata to her surgeon and said “this look right here”
@@ariellelillian8644 🤣 You are absolutely right!
She doesn't seem like she wears the pants or dominates. She doesn't seem like she's seeking to control men. The issue is she is independent and not easily or willing to be controlled. Not all men can handle that.
She has probably not written men off like Julia and Amber because despite how horrible divorce is the public and men in particular responded to the news in a way that was very flattering to her. The other women were shamed and blamed
Lmao Men don't care if you're "iNdEpEnDeNt" or not.
They care if your history shows you calling a whole gender trash (doesn't she have a son?) & that you blame others for your own poor choices in life. This woman does this.
No way would I want to get near the male version of this woman, so I wouldn't blame men steering clear of her.
I think women would hate on any standard beautiful women saying “I don’t feel hot in this” because humans like to point out entitlement….
I think content like that is very open and great, but I see so many people having a hate mentality with that.
Speaking for yourself? I think women in general understand that it doesn’t matter how beautiful/hot you are, you’ll always have your insecurities
@@karen_ka8027 not speaking for myself at all, well maybe from my experience… when a beautiful/hot woman by standards negative talks I hear women say things like “how privileged to say that when you look like that!” Etc. and I have many more examples, just look at the comment section of beautiful women influencers, a lot of women hate on there for various reasons.
If a woman says “I feel bloated” and she happens to be skinny, a bigger woman will always be quick to make her feel like she just shouldn’t say anything because “she’s skinny and doesn’t know what bloated truly means”
You are smart, I know you know what I’m saying….
I was with a divorcee with 3 kids in the past ... just be a good Mom and bedtime is at 8:30 pm; then it is you time 🙂
If women would consistently support other women, things would improve. Most women will not stand up for other women even when they know they should. It's really SAD.
29:23
Weren’t the rumours that they had been dating for ages?
Its very honest for her to admit to objectifying herself. You will never see a Kardashian be real about this. We're all trying to navigate a confusing life experience and how we present ourself and what we pursue. We have to ask ourselves what is harming us personally, what am I doing thats harming others, what is not and live by our own insights. We need to have compassion for women who fall into the traps and lead them by example out of it
Hearing her POV is fascinating - not least because of the comments section being so pressed.
i didn’t like the interviewer. you say you don’t wanna be judgmental but you are girl ! why are you so pressed she doesn’t have your same insecurities? it seems like you were pressuring her into changing her mind and being less confident. i’m an empath and i can relate a lot to emrata because i have the privilege of being sexy without surgery and i’ve always posted a certain type of content on social media cause i like it and i don’t care about the haters/insecure women, so every time you asked super judgmental questions (most of the time) i could feel her pain. be less judgmental. you should be happy that she’s this confident ! understand that is okay to promote something that maybe is ethically wrong but for some people is genuinely fun and empowering ! we’re not all insecure …
Bro he's married. He has more responsibility
@@goddessvibes08 who is 'him'? lol
‘im an empath’ and ‘i dont care about insecure women’ girl huh? do you think before you speak or did you just want an excuse to tell us that you’re sexy?
@@syrenhaze4579 are you the ecologista ?
It definitely requires the individual to change prior
Wow Emily was born in 91 and so was I. Her mother was born in 1952 and so was mine.
45:02 you are perfect ... I know you; I was married once... and before that was with someone older... she was 31 and divorced ...
This is one of my all time favourite podcasts and I love how good of a job eileen did of navigating this interview, honestly Emily just seems apprehensive, uncomfortable and just kind of on the offence. It’s beyond valid to not want to share certain info but idk she just seemed like she herself misinterpreted Eileen’s questions idk she just had a cold wall up and she comes across as super obnoxious and privileged and seems to be completely happy coining the term feminist even though she seems to have pretty much zero concern for the majority of actual womens lived experiences and how it intersects with the beauty industry that she so largely leads and participates in. Idk she continues to perpetuate an unrealistic standard and is so not transparent and to imply to the masses “idk how I do it” or be so ambiguous in a sense that it just comes naturally is equal to perpetuating it so. Idk I liked Emily’s podcast but she seems to only wanna also have ppl with clout on- she just doesn’t actually seem to be on the wave of feminism for the right reasons.
Tbh after she recently had Diplo on her podcast has made me question how much of “Feminist” she really is, Diplo has been accused of SA by lots of women of Color specifically
Her thing with men being entitled feels like confirmation bias. If you look for it, you’ll find it. I have never once eaten with a man and found their behavior to be entitled, in fact, with that example she used it has always, 100% of the time, been my female friends who critique the service and have high expectations, etc.
i knew that her marriage wasn't going to last because she got married so fast
she said the word "like" a thousand times LOL
So what?
lovely
Course
This very much felt like more of an interrogation than a conversation. I don’t even know if I blame the host for it. There was just no natural chemistry and it felt awkward. Hard to listen to at times.
Sure
Totally
I really love Emily. She is for sure my biggest role model. I massively enjoy hearing her speak. She is very self aware and considerate. High low quickly became my fave pod from episode 1. I think it was the perfect follow up from the book, which I demolished in a day. Can’t get enough EmRata🫶🏼
This is who you look up to? For what talent? Christ kids these days
Jeff bezos built amazon from his garage. Not your role model because he is a white male. Got it
@dailyspongeASMR You squeeze sponges on the internet and feel like that's content. Leave people alone when it comes to what they do online.
I agree with dailysponge, role model? I guess the women who helped truly change the world for the better are not as important as a nice looking woman who gets naked? Yeah our future is not looking good
the ketchup 🍅 sounds personable
Yeah
Hey
Hey. Girl power
Okay
I agree. Men need to be taught (by men). I don't agree that they are taught.
Her communication skills are definitely Gemini
No. My sis is Gemini and can form coherent sentences. Don't blame the stars.
Hello
Like her
EmRata was great, but she's a professional so there you go. Eileen, girl, I don't think being a poscast host is your thing honey.
❤