Dealing with Toxic Parents | Kati Morton
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- čas přidán 7. 07. 2024
- Toxic parents can be extremely damaging to your mental health as a child but also as an adult. When we ignore the damage our parents may have done to us in the past, they can manifest in our current relationships. And it is something we should deal with so that we can stop the cycle of toxic relationships. Are you wondering if your parents are toxic? Here are some of the things toxic parents say. Being with toxic parents can be as detrimental to one's mental health as being in a toxic relationship or abusive relationship so it's important to address and set-up these boundaries now. As always, I'll be speaking to how to handle toxic parents and how to set up boundaries with your parents in this video.
Here's another video about how to overcome childhood emotional neglect that you may find helpful: • How to overcome Childh...
How to deal with toxic parents: • Dealing with Toxic Par...
Additionally, this may be a good video if you're a victim of childhood emotional neglect, adult child of an alcoholic or member of ACOA, dealt with abusive parents or abusive parenting, struggle with childhood neglect or childhood trauma, or are used to toxic relationships. Whether it be your mother, father or a different guardian, this video should help set up boundaries with your parents. As this toxic behavior and childhood emotional neglect has an effect on us as adults, and can cause childhood trauma.
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This comment section feels more like home than my actual house tbh
True
I LIKE UR PRP😍
👉😎👉
Istg same
I feel you
My mother is very toxic. I’m at that point in life where I want nothing to do with her. She makes me miserable and makes me cry. She’s verbally and emotionally abusive.
so is my dad
Ya my mother is also like that and you know what I can't even able to do anything rather than crying and bearing all the mental torture that she gives me every single day.
I'm so sorry that you're going through this. My mother is also abusive to the extent where I just gave up on hope already, can't seem to see light anymore..
My mom too
I hate my fucking mother too
Trying to get rid of her
The problem with toxic parent is they dont understand/accept our feelings , they always gas light you and accuse us of being over sensitive.
YES! THIS!!!!
Yeah I’ve been sexually abused by 4 people growing up I tell my mom and starts getting angry at me
My heart goes out to you. This was not your fault; I hope you find a therapist or another safe individual to get the care and validation you deserve
Yes, and they always want to call you disrespectful when you stand up for yourself in response to their disrespect 😡
No they do understand perfectly they just don't care at all.
THEY DON'T DESERVE YOUR TEARS
Bruh what kind of advice is this. You're telling me that I'm not allowed to cry because someone caused me pain? Crying is supposed to be a way to release stress. Why shouldn't I cry? Why am I not allowed to release stress?
@@_saphrogy_9623 YEAH!
@@angelacavon4073 I cant tell if your saying they cant cry, or if your just agreeing with them.
Maybe it's just a misunderstanding
Yaaaasss
When the family environment makes us suicidal, isn't that toxic?
Yes. *Extremely* toxic
Yes totally. That’s me.
^same
Literally can relate ,only reason I’m depressed af
that is what happened to me
Gen z, when you have kids raise em happy lets change these patterns of abuse ♡
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
I wonder how that is going to play out. I don't think I can currently recognise a long term healthy relationship which would be stable enough for 30 years to have kids
Janneman96 I’m going to go to therapy and set standards of the kind of relationship I want and learn ways to prevent the generational toxic pattern from continuing.
@@emilyb5743 Yeah, I might do that too. I'm moving out in november, I'll probably go after that time when I live on my own
:-)
don't have kids if you're going to emotionally abuse them
I did not have them after my parents abused me
True
And don’t marry someone who is going to emotionally abuse them. 😢
my mum told me, "i gave birth to you, why can't i scold you?"
My father is so toxic that when he comes around me i feel his toxic energy. i want nothing to do with him and I cant wait until i move out and get my own home . He is so emotionally abusive and every conversation i have with him i feel depressed.
omg same. even just hearing the main door opening at a certain hour makes my anxiety spiral because i know he came home and he’s about to throw his anger and hate about himself onto me. crazy
I feel this my father is the most depressing and belittling person ever
I can relate so much with y’all. Thanks for sharing, I don’t feel as alone now
❤️❤️
Tbh it’s helping me feel better to be in a similar situation to know I’m not alone! Thank you for commenting because I definitely relate
How to deal with bad parents?
1. LEAVE THEM
The Governor wish it was that easy they are controlling a fuck I can't do anything after school even if it's a group project. I'm not a teen that does drugs drinks goes to parties. The last "party " I went to was with my friends birthday party and all we legit did was sit on a Couch with our 1 other friend throwing pens into a cup I'm not even joking . I'm home on time everyday I have straight A's I can't drive I can't leave the house without getting yelled at for like an hour even if I plan something a month ahead they'll ruin all of those the day before because of the smallest thing they have to do like they have to fucking water the plants if I try to bring a friend home and they say no I'll find another way we could hang out like go to their house or just go to the library they will literally start yelling about how disrespectful I am when I legit have never gotten in trouble I have listened to them every time they said to do something . They just thinkI'm like every fucking teen that does drugs or drinks or fucking vapes it so unfair how I'm treated
with what money? 😞
If you leave them they will chase you until you kill your self!! Thats my parents when i tried to keep away from them they wanted me to kill my self!!!💔
@@SpiritualThoughts44 oh wow, that's horrible😞 Hope you can escape them one day❤ And don't ever listen to them. You're worth so much more than what they think of you. Stay strong. I suffer from having a toxic father myself, and the best tip I can give to you is to never loose hope. Please know that things will get better one day, just don't give up. We'll get through this together✊
But im too young too move out 😭😭💔 help someone iwill die living in this hell
How to "deal" with crazy parents? Do nothing. Don't bother trying to fix them. Don't bother explaining yourself. Keep far away boundaries by doing nothing.
Indeed , same with my case
this is perfect
Sure thing, just let them get away with tormenting you ever more; real smart, idiot.
Very helpful tip ...in other words give up on them
I can’t do that because it makes everything worse..I tried it and they just threatened me so much and made me feel bad for all the things they do for me and how I treat them back...
it's gotten to the point where i don't even love my parents, and i feel like a bad person for it
You are not💜
I feel the same , I don’t like my mom either and I don’t feel bad abt not liking her either …
My dad is just horrible, he dosent do physical harm cause he dosent want me to know it's toxic parenting, he's guilt tripping me when he is yelling at me cause I have a disorder, I just wanna hide outside
@@OxiKoma hope u leave that situation
Me too
What i hate is just their weapon "parents always right!" They never listen
same
When I was younger, I thought that yelling is a normal thing in families ; but when I grew up I realised that it was happening in just my family.....
Constant yelling comes from immature minds.
Your words have conveyed hundred unsaid emotions
Same
same with slapping for me
same
“Everything you have I gave you”
I have depression so it's you who gave it to me
You gave mental trauma bad enough I have almost resorted to suicide.
Yeah I have depression , endless tears , mental trauma and social anxiety
Thanks to my parents!
I replied to my parents "Who asked you two to be so horny during one night?" whenever they threaten me with words like those. And you guys know what happened ☠️💀
@@spiritualfoxplays-tryhardp2284 if I say that to them I'm literally dead
I tried reducing the time I spent with my parents but then I got scolded for "not spending time with them and therefore being disrespectful" 🙄
wtf same!!
Me rn
exactly, all i was asking is for a little break and only talking to them when necessary, because I'm mentally exhausted and on the edge of giving up everyday, but for them its just bad behavior and disrespectful like you said, its just the audacity that they have to demand things of me that they don't give, I just wish they were more understanding, I don't hate them, I just need time away from them bc everytime I see their faces I just get uncomfortable and anxious, all the bad feelings come to me, and I don't need that, I need to heal and they can't understand that, but anyway, sorry for the long paragraph if u read this, I had to vent here, just to let ppl know that we are all struggling together, rn I'm trying to save money so I can move out asap when I turn 18 which is in 2 and a half years from now.
The same!
that happens to me each time
This has become almost impossible with the pandemic. I'm praying for everyone whose in a toxic home while everything is shut down
And even more hard is when is father is jobless and is 24*7 at home where u are stucked due to pandemic.....
The dislikes of the video must be the toxic parents. Smh
hehehhe true
Chouci Vang 🤣🤣
@@user-my8qj definetly so annoying .-.
@Chouci Vang Probably toxic family Members
Or maybe people didn’t find the video helpful idiot
Am I the only one feeling guilty for even just watching this video ?
Whenever I have the feeling that my pattens are toxic I feel guilt because I love them and they raised me and gave me everything but still... toxic.
MundB MundB same you’re not the only one
No ma’am. Keep watching
Sameee
Yes I know that feeling
I personally don't feel guilty but some people do. It's normal to feel connected to ppl due to relations but toxic is toxic.
Setting boundaries to this older generation is seen as “being disrespectful “ and that just shows that they have never set boundaries and are used to being treated like shit
The "toxic parent" expects me to obey him(dad) no matter my age. I well above 18. He takes a contolling/lecturing tone when I shut him down(standing up to him). I haven't done anything for him to lecture me about, yet he tries to demand obedience. Too bad; he won't get it(obedience).
Don‘t think you can say this in general, bc there are many toxic people who treat others like trash while going rage mode when even the slightest trigger appears in their mind (like disagreeing in some opinions). Guess it is highly depending on social background and where you live. Plus these tendencies could be a genetical issue…
Just if you’re watching this,Im sorry!I want you to know there’s so many people going through the same thing,I’m one of them and I have a hope,for every one of us
Thank you! :)
I literally cried watching this bc I want u to be my mom
Katri TOM I know right. But life we don’t choose or parents. Parents don’t choose their kids.
Katri TOM me to you can feel her energy and soul so kind so loving
@@sco5b Parents don't 'choose' their kids, but have a lot to do with how they turn out, how they develop, and what challenges or successes they'll likely face as adults. Don't let adult parents off the hook, as if being the child is the same as being the parent.
@@gwills9337 exactly... I know that there are a lot of great parents which have such bad children.. But mostly children are the result of the way their parents raise them . If they are raised in a healthy way they we'll be emotionally healthy and less rude ... But when they're praised in a bad way "unhealthy way" .. they get rebellious or depressed or really weak emotionally..
So maybe parents can have the power of choosing what kind of Kids they can get " somehow ".
sometimes i dream of choosing my life, parents, look, and race it would be that most awesome thing ever! 😆💖
my family isn't that toxic tbh.. it's wayyy past that.. it's pure cancer.
Do you have a plan?
I can relate
Move out from house
I'm the exact same way..... I'm dealing with it for now but it's got to the point of pure pain
Same. I can’t handle it ANYMORE
I would write everything to my journal when I was 15. One day my mom found it and that day I was physically and emotinaly abused by her. I'm 23 now and I still live with the consequences from having a bad relationship with her. I live in America now they're in Turkey and I feel so much better.
Mine are Muslim and whenever I try to show that they are being toxic I get manipulated with Religion Allah and Hell
@@eons8941 they are wrong, islam teaches the opposite, to actually treat kids and children with as much love, care, patience as possible, to remain calm and patient with kids, never lash out, coz they are just small kids
and if they talk abt their rights as parents, then ask them, what abt the duties islam has given them as parents? what abt the rights islam has given u as a kid?
Allah is gonna ask these parents on judgement day, that we gave u these blessings (kids) and what did u do with my blessing? instead of showing gratitude and being humble u abused it so badly? so yeah dont worry these parents will get punished for hurting u, just see to it that u do fulfill ur duty anyway (which is to respect them, respect doesnt mean u have to listen to them, but just treating them with respect) coz u will be asked abt ur duties on judgment day too....
I'm 22 and I'm even allowed to leave the house (literally) yet alone the country
Because of my parents I don't want to get married, and I don't want to have any kids. They ruined the idea of love for me. If I were to have kids and I end up being like my parents.....I'd rather not put that child through anything I went through.
Yeah same…- sorry you’re going through this hope you’re doing better
Same. They ruined the idea of love for me that it hurts knowing that there’s toxic people that are like them.
I'm the same way!! I love kids but because of my health I cannot have children!! I also do not want to get married!! I feel better on my own!!
Same😓they shattered my heart.
This hits home for me. I could never have children because of my parents. The idea of love, as you describe it, has also been shattered for me.
Being the oldest is the hardest thing leaving younger siblings...
Ye my younger sister is the reason why I’d stay.
@Myaa samee 😭 sometimes i got so emotional by thinking about what my little sister will going through
I’m 18 my youngest sister is 1 the other is three and the other is 14 I understand I watch the babies every day no pay not allowed to get a job no respect I understand
Leave, trust me 😩 you’ll be able to help them more while you’re gone. I wish I would’ve left but now i’m 27 and struggling with my mental health. Now I have to fight extra hard to move out... but I’ll be bringing my sister with me. She’s finally of age and out of high school, I wish I would’ve moved out at 18 or 19. I was so much more confident in myself, I could’ve given her a safe/quiet place to stay.
This comment is something special for me one of the things that makes me hate my family and home is being the oldest and having to take responsibility and care of them.
The toxicity is so bad that i don't even know how I feel anymore. It feels like I have no emotions.
Me too.. I want to hate them but I can't. I want to love them but how!! All I can do is hate myself and cry all day lol. I hope you're doing well tho. Be safe and take care of yourself and one day it's gonna be all alright
@@imaneaffaoui1640 same but i don't hate myself i feel like i lost all my emotions when i lough its a fake one (when with my partens) I just hate my dad he is the biggest hypocrite in the world ngl. The amount of money he wasted is crazy he buys clothes worth 200€ then talks we shouldn't waste them then gets outside with 50€ for no reason. He doesn't even get that much from his job i have to help them like 90% of the time
@@Batu-27 i'm sorry you have to go through this. Don't worry it's gonna be fine. Just take care of yourself and know very well that you're not alone. My father too keeps wasting money and when i talked to them about this my mum said that at my age they were already working and other shit you know.. I'm studying to be an engineer and I don't have the time to be working at all my schedule is so full but still I'll be looking for a job after my exams cuz I just can't take it anymore. (I hope this helps I find it better to cope when I relate to someone and thank you too for sharing. And if you want a strange to lend you an ear I'm here)
@@imaneaffaoui1640 well sucks for both of us:( gotta stay strong someday we will be free and won't have these kind of problems and good luck on your exams you can do it!!!
I FELT THIS
It's so sad how many people relate to "toxic parent" .. lets be good parents guys ♡
My mom is so jealous of me,and she wants to make me feel bad about myself. Am not gonna let her destroy me anymore.To everyone has toxic family too ,stay strong, don't let anybody control you, you matter❤️
I think its so scary when a mother is jealous of their own daughter. Girl the best way to cope is to remember there is a reason she is threatened by you. Ur special. You got that it factor she wants. Use that to your own advantage and do great things in ur lifetime. Let her watch from the sidelines. Its the sad reality
am sorry
I think my mom feel I am an extension of her. Therefore she compete (with foods I bring to party), and put me down.
I'm just glad that I left my parents' home at the age of 17. This literally saved my mental health.
I'm 24 now, and every time I come to visit them I become more and more convinced that it was the best decision
I feel kinda jealous towards the people who get along well with their parents and have their support
Oleksandr Fomin similar story to mine. I get so jealous about stable homes and good parents too.
Oof I would also really like to leave. I can't take my dad's bullshit anymore. It's worsening... However I'm financially dependent of my father and if I leave, I would probably starve to death lmao and I also don't want to move to an institution. That would be just as tragic.
How?? I would like to leave as well :(
SAME!! I moved out at 17 too
ClassyTeaTV Could you please tell us how? Would be great to know lol
i am honestly so mentally exhausted with my dad.
Same
Same
Same. I believe I don't really have a care about him. If he died I wouldn't feel bad at all. I might feel happy even.
@@phineassss4901 same but if he dies I wont have any financial support as my mother is uneducated and is a house wife (I love my mom ) but i am thinking on when i become 18 or 19 and go to college i will try to be more financially stable my myself and obviously take my mom and my little 3 yrs old brother with me and I am only 13 so a lot more tears to go
But I will stay strong
I thought I was alone in this but same
I am going to start practicing for my driver's license so I can get away faster and I will take every club possible so I can get away from this toxicity. For those who pray, please pray for me. I am struggling.
Hugs 💕
It’s been three years. I hope that means you’re an adult now. Praying for you ❤
I lost all love and respect for my mom a long time ago
Me too
Same
My mum is already broken because my fuckin retard dad. I already lost hope to these two. I want to be success in life and start a new family without them inside.
@@yurei5021 me too
I lost love & respect for my dad I don't want to do with him
I just feel hopeless, every time I'm getting better they knock me back to the bottom
This is exactly how I'm feeling right now, I'm trying my best to overcome my own issues, especially with the isolation and the pandemic, I'm trying to get out of a recent depressive episode and I feel like the people who are supposed to care about me and love me are only harming me and destroying me even more, emotionally and mentally. I feel overwhelmed.
Exactly
That is really really true for me everytime I feel that things are changing they come tell me shitty things that I cannot do anything if I go like they want everything to be thier own way they not even consider my self respect they scold me in front of anyone with a really bad language I don't know what to do I feel trapped with them because I am only 18 and financially dependent on them pls help me anyone pls tell me what to do
I felt this
They think it's all about them. They literally make me depressive. Our Religion dictates that we treat them kindly, nicely but it's really overwhelming. I can't take it anymore. Being sick and having no one to save you makes it worse.
I cut my parents out of my life while I was in therapy. I know that might not be the right decision for everyone, but it's the best thing I've ever done for myself. My nightmares have stopped, my self esteem is better and my relationships are better with my friends.
I'm happy for you
I'm happy for you too. I'm sure that probably wasn't such an easy decision, but sometimes you have to do what's best for yourself.
Who fucking cares if it's controversial to some? Your parents weren't meant to be such and deserve nothing but isolation from their children
Good for you!
I'm glad things have improved for you~
I'm crying while I'm watching this video because at this point I'm so tired..The only reason I'm going on in my life is because I want to be successful and to achieve everything I want and just leave them and everything painfull behind. Nobody will ever understand how toxic my parents are and how controlling they are...I'm so tired and I really want everything to end
These comments make me feel less alone!!! Thank you. Did anyone else ever start to envy one parent because they just sat and watched the other parent be emotionally and verbally abusive to you? I feel guilty for it now, but I can’t stand it anymore.
1. being degraded
2. belittle
3. accusing & blame
4. neglect
5. enmeshment or codependence
"Think about yourself, think about yourself, think about yourself."
Sanderman what he said
My late mom never allowed me to think about myself.
@@kurttoy5035 shame on her
This resonates with me deeply. My mom is nurturing and loving to ends meet. But my Dad is a walking nightmare. Trying to save up and move out because I can’t allow my son to grow up any longer in this environment. The things my Dad says to me breaks my heart, but only has made me stronger and more motivated to get the Hell out!
In the Same exact boat. I have a very toxic father. He uses words to hurt you. No choice but to move out but jobless at the moment . Can’t take it no more
L It Can be tough but you can do it! Go job hunting and get the job! You got this.
Same guys. Same. I NEED to get out
she always invalidates my feelings by saying “she’s the adult and I’m the child” she says hurtful stuff and expects me not to say anything.
I think one of the best ways to deal with a toxic parents is to get out of living from that home immediately when possible. Reducing the amount of time spent with a toxic parents will help save your self-esteem.
If possible, yes. That is much harder to do when you have an extreme disability. I look forward to that day though.
Yes! I completely agree :) xox
Where am i gonna get my own house I'm minor
Sometimes parents are so abusive that you can't fix them or make them change their mind. Sometimes what you need to do is get out when you reach 18. Easier said than done but its important to start making connections with people while you're young to be able to move out.
Can confirm. My mom is a narcissist and my step dad is always negative. After I left that environment, I learned how draining it really is, to be around negativity everyday.
My parents are toxic to the point i dont even love them anymore
I hate them
Same
same 😭
Do I have to say what im gonna say?
*Same*
Same,its crazy how many people feel the same. Btw my folks always play the victim😂
I'm 17. I locked my room.
The next day my mother came to my workplace, took my keys and kicked me out with just the clothes on my back.
She took me back now (thankfully, because I really wanted to just graduate). I graduate in April 30th, I have my prom in May 25th and I told her that I am moving out on the first of June, I honestly can't wait! I just started my letter to my mom in which I want to explain how she made me feel for all these years. I tried explaining it to her a lot of times, but she doesn't listen. I thought a letter right after I leave would maybe make her think of all these things and HOPEFULLY she can change for my little brother and be a better parent.
I did that. I found the letter on the top of the fridge. She never opened it. Never read it. Never changed. Just get out and stay in contact with your siblings- they may need help to get out later on.
“I just want you to be better”
Yep, better for my grass on my grave
Cant communicate what they are doing to hurt you if they deflect everything you say back to being your fault somehow. Mirroring. Ugh.
this happens to me its so frustrating
this is exactly what happens to me
Find a way to mirror them back, use their own words against them, film them if u have to
❤️💯
My mom punched me in the face and never apologized but instead blamed me for it
Does anyone else have extreme helicopter parents? My parents want total control over me. They talk to me like I'm still a child and they guilt trip me constantly for not spending enough time entertaining them. I do not live with them but if I ignore their calls for too long they will literally show up on my doorstep. (Happened before) after only 30 seconds of interacting with them my day is ruined. I become extremely irritable, anxious, exhausted, and depressed. They see these reactions in me and they are either oblivious or don't care. It's so upsetting.
I'm kinda starting in school again and when they treat me like a child i can't do anything about it since I don't have a job..
"they guilt trip me constantly for not spending enough time entertaining them".. my parents did this to me :(....and then i said fuck that.
@Ursula Mae i am on the same spot. sad. but necesary
Toxic parents like the attention they get from seeing us upset, anxious and unwell in my opinion. It is their narcissistic supply rush
This is literally my life except that I'm seventeen and can't legally leave yet. So I'm just helpless...
I can’t fathom how someone (I.e my father) can bring a child onto this earth and then convince that child that they are worthless and will never amount to anything. People don’t deserve to have children 😔
When I grew up I thought getting hit and yelling is normal in family around me and my parents are so toxic and inpatient
It’s comforting to see how many others struggle with this. I can be hard going throughout the day seeing how many have great relationships with their parents and think you are the ONLY one who just doesn’t.
Breanna Fountain honestly it’s very comforting. I feel you.
Many people just hide this,the children and the parent too,that s why you feel this way
YES my life sucks and my mom is to blame. She mentally and emotionally abusive. Man I'm tired of talking about bad of a parent she is!!
Yeah that happens to me when i see my friends and their sweet and close relationship with their father :( while mine is plain disconnected and toxic with his own child
Nope, there are a lot of us like that. You're not alone.
Leaving home was the best thing i ever did
Jari Heimoluoto so glad you got out
my dream
4 more years for me can't wait
2 more years for me, I cant wait. My mom is the most emotionally and verbally abusive person ever, I was diagnosed with ADHD and manic depression and she doesn’t believe it, even though I was diagnosed by a PHYSICIAN. She’s literally the reason I’m beginning to have suicidal thoughts, it’s horrible and I can’t wait to leave. I cry myself to sleep almost every night. I feel miserable.
3 more years for me. I'm so close to just ending it all, but I'm still trying to hang on
The worst toxic parent destroys your emotions and when you try and leave....your the best child on the planet.
My father isn't capable of even missing me. My mother said that he wouldn't even miss her. It's just so sad. So, fuck him. Even if it hurts to cut him from life due to a term called enmeshment, he doesn't deserve me in his life. My mother is staying with him, something I'll never understand.
Hope that you can break free and eventually find your way; you deserve to accept yourself, even if your parents can't accept who they are deep down.
first they abuse
Then they expect High respect and expectations from us
Then they say how I am too sensitive
😭
I don't have any confidence left, they are so bad, they always complain, things that hurt me very bad, i literally don't know how much i hate him.
I feel the same
It's well known that Indian parents are the worst, as far as emotional harassment and manipulation is concerned. There are countless stand-up comedy videos with Indian mothers or fathers or parents as the topic. Those jokes work because of the serious amount of truth in them. Everybody has major unresolved issues in life and instead of fixing them by going to therapy, Indians just pass on the burdens to their kids and other family members. One is a psychopath or narcissist, the other has full blown anxiety with constant nagging or catastrophizing, yet another has a dominating insecure personality and another is depressed as hell or just emotionally unavailable. Dysfunctionality is the name of the game in our prestigious tradition because we cannot "disrespect elders" at all. Gives them a free pass to be assholes / sick without treatment.
@@actsrv9 true,it becomes worster if you're a unwanted girl child !
I am so sorry to hear. Our relationship with our parents is the foundation of all our relationships. Hatred towards them will affect the other relationships in your life. Hope you can learn to love, even from afar, so that you can liberate yourself from hatred - its a big burder to bear. Sending you positive vibes :)
Samee😩😢
My parents are really toxic, specially my mom. I used to think that hitting children, hiding the fact that they abuse us and stuff like that was normal but now I'm finding out that it isn't... I'm only 11.
I am 13 and same thing with me I thought it was all normal
Boobiieee Lovy ikr
i'm 17 and that's why my "bad attitude" developed.
Hey, maybe its a little bit late, but well, you are here for something, be strong, specially now, take a lot of care, you are not alone and it will change some day, maybe not for them, but for you and your siblings (if you have) it definetly will
Same I am 16 now but since I was 5 shes been hitting me it really hurts and she doesnt even know shes wrong. She guilt trips me and threatens me and tells me I am useless. It's so horrible. I'm sorry you had to go through this. Be strong better days will come ❤
27 living at home living with an extremely toxic father and looking to move out fast but jobless at the moment
Thank you. It’s been so hard to think I’m abandoning my sibling. You’ve given me the courage to continue stepping forward towards a (hopefully) healthier future in a healthier environment
For those of you who can’t afford or don’t have access to therapy: talking to yourself alone, addressing yourself as a third person and pretend to be your own therapist is also helpful, because there are so many things you can realise on your own while you’re describing your problems or feelings.
I do this thing where I talk to a voice recorder. I always save the recordings, even though I probably won't listen to the again. It encourages me to vent how I feel, and pretend someone actually cares enough to give up some of their time to actually listen to me.
I started doing this without realising. It's helping me a lot.
Make your own voice healthy voice by takling to yourself in 3rd person...
I've been talking to myself for many years. It's always helped me. 🌠
Whenever I try to set boundaries, my mother says “I’m your mum you cannot tell me what to do” followed by “I do everything that’s best for you”
That sucks. What worked for me is I had to be an asshole about it. I couldn’t be nice to her setting boundaries. Just had to buckle down put my foot down and deal with her throwing a huge temper tantrum about it
That's same like my dad, he said ur living under my roof and if you dont like it get out.
@@youtuberlover1233 oh my god same. makes me think: you think i dont want to?
@@youtuberlover1233 lol some parents get offended if you now want to move out from under their controls
Toxic Parenting 101
I get really bad anxiety from being around my mum or hearing her voice when it’s loud. Sometimes I don’t eat just so I can avoid running into her
Not me thinking parents slapping you and threatening you were normal things up until recently... I really need therapy.
i’m 21, almost done with college, still live with my parents, and still treated like i’m a young kid. i still have to ask permission to go places, shame me because i’m sexually active w/ long term bf, refuse to teach me how to drive (despite complaining taking me places), hate i spend more time with friends and bf, and claim they’ll never change their toxicity selves because they don’t believe any of that.
there’s so many more, but overall, my parents are verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive, it’s slowly draining me and i keep hoping i can leave soon when i save up as time goes on.
Erika Kagome almost everything you said relates to me. Now I’m rushing myself to get married to leave the house cause i cant leave unless i am. It sucks.
Rachel rashid ikr it sucks that we have to be married in order to leave
M_ K 😔♥️
Erika Kagome yep you a grown ass adult and have been for 3 years. save money& move 👍🏽
Can't your boyfriend take you in?
Due to the lockdown and quarantine, I am forced to stay with my family and i feel like my mental health is being shatttered one day at a time !
Edit : thanks for all the support, didn't expect to find such support on CZcams comments🙈
I'm feeling same here. I'm 27 guy who had to join job in April but this virus came suddenly and ruined all my plans. Its very upsetting I get this. My parents too act sick many times. They use foul language on everyone they see. They don't understand what I want and focus on what they want. They behave so immature, childish, arrogant, selfish, naive, possessive over petty items and make a scene for small things, they keep on nagging whole day. Mt mom few days ago told me I'm not able to use my mind and I don't use it. I am loosing self confidence and becoming very agitated and angered because I worked in bank for 1 and half year and earned good salary. I have degrees , knowledge everything except my parents mentality towards me. I hate them lot for not allowing me to follow my dreams in life. They just irritate you to the extent that you feel disgusted even with yourself. Sometimes I feel alone, lonely and ask God why did they have me in the first place if I was not fit to live. Then I ask myself . They can't change but I can change. For myself. Not for them. No matter how much ever you do they are like you do nothing for us but for yourself. They complain a lot. Bring past matters some late 10 years back stories and mock at you. Thats how my parents are. They get scared if you do something new which you want to explore. They snatch away your freedom. They isolate you from friends. They don't allow you to fail and learn thinking positively. They don't introspect neither retrospect if something went wrong they simply blame you saying you are fit for nothing. That's old old old South Indian mentality village type which I have to accept as sins of my past life even when they do things unrealistic. They shout everyday keeping doors open to neighbors. Both are old age 64+ and 59+. And me being their only son its my responsibility to look after them till I join next job after virus leaves the county. Once the virus leaves I'm out back to my freedom life again. Waiting desperately like a starving animal to jump on freedom. Sooner or later thirst always wins. Hungry, Ravaneous.
I stay away from parent still they get my nerves 😂
Same. Just stay strong tho. We can get through this together✊
Sameeeee
same
Warning for anyone considering putting a lock on the door. That ESCALATED the situation in my mentally ill household. Rationally it should be okay but, it was most definitely was not okay in my particular situation.
I started plating at home to get my mind off from my toxic parents. I was really happy watering them and seeing them grow day by day. 2 weeks later my dad ruined all the seedlings(cause he thinks its nonsense). I cried so hard but they just laughed at me and says that I'm crazy for crying over those seedlings😢
I‘m so sorry
This video made me cry, everything is so hard
same
Samr k xanr see my keypas
I cried all through this vidro bc I related to it so much.
Stay strong 💜
it'll get better ! stay strong 💓 .
My mom is so toxic Clorox bleach would feel like Sprite.
😄😄😄😄 drink it jk
When there arguments with mom she stops feeding me . time to get on a diet
Please don't drink Bleach
@@edgarmanzo4880 I'm SO SORRY to hear this!!! PLEASE call the national child abuse hotline number!!! 1-800-422-4453
@@Glurmp can they help?
I had to leave my job due to the depression I developed and total lack of support from my dad. I thought by working in a high powered job I’d finally earn his respect. I didn’t and it shattered me. I later learned he has high function autism and that his lack of empathy is a direct result of this. Then covid happened. I am currently stuck living with him and it an uphill battle. As I am applying for new roles he tells me how I am not going to get shit and how I have been unemployed for over a year (as if covid hasn’t stopped companies recruitment). I am focusing on getting my self away from him. My sister is has deep depression, my mother developed deep depression as a direct result of his abuse and total lack of empathy. He just moved us to the opposite end of the country where I know no one, the climate is subtropical (I have never lived in this 95 degree plus heat). He plays sibling against sibling and supports only the child he likes. I pray that I find a role soon and am able to leave this abusive environment.
Maybe he is a narcissistic man too.
I almost cried in the middle. But thank you. I feel someone's there to tell it to me when i constantly feel guilty of telling myself to distance from them.
sometimes i feel im more mature and understanding than both my parents combined. i bet all these kids here will be the best parents in the world because they have lived without one
I agree💯💯💯
I was just about to cry when i read this.
I really do hope so. Sometimes it’s difficult to give what we do not have
I can't move out 😭
I haven't completed my education ,
I can't go to therapist because I don't have any money to pay for it
Broke college student
Aboli must be nice! I’m still in high school I wish I was a college student
Aboli I feel you, I can’t move out cuz he pays for my education :(
Same here.
To make things worse, I can't deal with certain things in my life because of my anxiety.
Its ok. We'll get through it :)
My parents ignore me and don’t give a fuck and then expect me to be the best person ever treat me like shit I can’t love anyone bc of them I have trust issues I thought 2020 wasn’t gonna be like this but it is and I feel like dying all the time
Same
I wish I could get part time job or pocket money, it's almost impossible to get job until 23 in india
Everyone, I may not have a toxic parent that is verbally and emotionally abusive but I go through with it with my wife. She has those parents and still to this day they try to make her unhappy. She moved out with me in a studio and for 1 whole year we haven’t been exactly like them but we live in a healthy home. I’m sorry that there are parents this way and the children go through this, you don’t need another message to endure it more but rather look for all the good things in life and that will get you away from them and live happily like God wants you all too. My wife looked for God for better things and the positive stuff helped her move away from them and deal with them. You all can look for them, don’t endure, live, follow your passion and you will live a better life than those who are toxic. Don’t ask for God to make you better than them, ask him to make sure that you don’t do any of that. God bless you all and may all of you find your happiness
I'm so fucked up from the way I was raised. My parents neglected me when I was younger. I understand why. They were working hard so that we could survive. BUT they never made ANY effort. On the flip side, they still were overprotective and controlling despite not spending any time with me. Its like they didn't care, but still cared too much if that makes sense.
I think I can relate to your comment. They did care for me but would dismiss any disagreement I had with them or their views. mostly my mom. They would make me feel like the worst person to ever exist if I made one mistake, judge me for having friends. Just overall instilled doubt, maybe unintentionally. But I feel what I feel.
Relating to being overprotective. I can see why my mom was overprotective of me, being an only child and a premature baby. But the moment I even hinted the idea of moving out, she got mad at me and would take away certain things that would have helped me be independent. That way, I'd be forced to stay and go to school. It made me feel bad over time, and I didn't feel I had control over my own life. I tried to stay in college, but I dropped out. I mean we all thought it would be practical to just stay at home and go to college nearby. It made sense, but no one thought I'd lose so much faith and drop out. Faith in myself to ride it out.
I went through every single thing that both of you have mentioned
Funny story , I realised this very late as I thought it was normal.
It's very hurtful and depressing
If one thing universe has done me good through this process is, I have a loving husband. But I am not using him as a source of happiness as I have learnt from life that nobody can make me happy except to myself.
I am learning to make peace with my past so I can move on and spend the rest of my life away from the toxicity and if possible help the others who are going through the same.
I have joined a Buddhist group that supports me through my depression along with a therapist.
I am in the process of healing through low self esteem, low self confidence and setting healthy boundaries with family and friends
Yup. They were never truly there for me when I needed them, but were still constantly breathing down my neck. They always said the most ridiculous things without a second thought
That's happens alot. Neglectful parents who want to control everything.
RedT made perfect sense. Same here. We are strong and can get through life on our own!
I grew up with a toxic parent and it made me miserable for years. I moved out at age 21. With my own children I struggled not following in the toxic footsteps. I took parenting classes and they helped tremendously! Im very close to my kids and thankful for getting out when I did!
God bless you Kati for doing videos like these because I had no-one to talk to growing up, but Im sure you are helping so many just with these videos.
- #00 Yeah, it’s fking toxic. Also horrible to listen to.
Kells R where did you find the parenting classes at? That’s interesting.
Thank you this was helpful as i am a 34 man and still dealing with a toxic parent.
Every strong or even weak female woman I hear feels like a mother to me. Even you with these tips because it's like you really understand or at least believe us. As you said people don't want to or can't I don't know. Thank you 💖
I love your statement ' Save your money and get out!" Yep get out!
When i try to save money,my mother takes it all
This. And if you don't have the money, move with a relative who roots for you. I remembering leaving home after a big loss and being done with everything and my grandma has been such a healing factor for me. I realized how sick and guilty atmosphere my house was. I wish you the best.
Im 14 and defs gonna find a job even if it's horrible i can't wait to move out
@@chibi1353 same happens with me. I'm 22, I work hard to earn money but they mentally torture me and get the money.
I was a bright student. Somehow I'm trying to manage my life but they still don't let me live peacefully. 😭😭😭
He spends money to pretend like he is very successful among knowones. But didn't had money to pay a small college application fee. I worked hard three year to get the college. But everything became waste. Since last 3 year I'm trying to manage my life by earning money.
I'm still in better condition than my sister. They made her life miserable to a degree you can't imagine. I was intelligent to sense that my parents will make my life miserable.
I've one more younger brother I won't let him go through the same pain like me and my sister.
I'm crying for my sister, her life is not less than a hell. I can manage my life but what she will do with such toxic parents.
Vuyolwethu Nati be safe tho
Kati I left my parents home at 16 years of age. I got a job and my own flat. I completed my senior years ( 11 and 12 in Australia). I had no other family in country. I worked hard, married at 19 and completed a bachelor degree at 30. I never had a drink or drug issue. Young people are better off leaving than destroying their health and future by staying. Your 5 tips are great. Thank you for being so positive, supportive and sensible about the topic of toxic parents. Physical and emotional abuse from parents is devestating. I'm 51 now and stronger than ever because I left home while I was still strong enough to stay healthy xx
Fern I would like to point out that now with the job market being the way it is it’s a lot harder for anyone to find a job that will allow you to get your own apartment. I had to be homeless for two weeks and live with friends for 3 years before I was able to find my own place. It’s hard.
How you treat your own children,are they feel enjoyable !!!
I am really glad there are videos like this that address these sensitive topics. Toxic parents is something that isn't really talked about among American society, and it's really destructive. The less we talk about abusive, toxic parents, the more these patterns will show up in families. It's so important to talk about this stuff. You're videos are guiding me, along with therapy, to finally make the move to move out. I really hope that anyone who is struggling with toxic parents and toxic family in general, know that they deserve to be happy and loved. And they have the right to protect themselves from the emotional abuse.
Wow 2 years ago I saw this video, I saw it pop up on my feed again and just wanted to say thank you. It took me 18 months to save to move out and its hard but honestly despite financial struggles I feel much better. So thank you!
My mom kinda took off my door so I can’t really be alone and whenever I try to sympathasize with my mom she makes it into a negative thing and makes me feel like there is no point in trying to even make it better anymore.
fuck that's harsh. wow rip
That... isn't normal.... Everyone needs privacy.
one time my mother threatend to take my door off
Shes damaged beyond repair. She will never be the mother you want her to be. Try to get a job and save money (really save money) and leave. Thats the only way it will stop, besides moving in w someone else.
I'm going through the same thing. When I was in middle school they took the doorknob off my door for en entire month. And recently, my mother especially, has been threatening to take my door away or swap my room into one they'll be able to get I to easily and see what ever I'm doing at any time she wants. I'm here with you, dude.
Especially, now that we can't go out so you're stuck at home with them
I literally cry and have breakdowns every day 7-10 times. It's so bad that I've literally thought about just ending it all. I don't have a good home life with anyone in my family especially my mom and I have no friends. I'm honestly just so done with dealing with it anymore.
same
im with you
dont feel lonely
@@mira7021 Thank you I really needed that
@@layonpluto u can dm me if u want
Please don't do it, try and find help online, there's plenty of places to chat online even for free, there's always hope, hope things get better = ).
I don’t know who needs to hear this but this is how much I’ve learn since In my 19 years:
1. Your parents are evil for a reason. Their parents or the world was probably evil to them. This doesn’t make their behaviour towards you hurt any less, but it allows you to wrap your head around why they are the way they are.
2. The best way to cope is the art of distraction. Find independent hobbies and put your all into them. Treat them not just as outlets but as distractions. I also find that consuming happier content helps as a distraction also, like sitcoms and such.
3. Quietly plan a future. Be consistent with this. Make sure u can visually see the goal, whether that be a savings piggy bank in your room or even just a written out life plan. By doing this u remind urself of a brighter future and that where u r is not where u’ll stay. The future is in your hands.
4. Protection. Building on point 3, make sure U always have escape money set aside. Always. Keep piling on it. Get ripped. Knowing u can defend urself in times of need allow u to have even 2% of a more peaceful sleep. Know that if it ever came to it u can support urself.
5. Meditation. I like to stretch a few times throughout the day and take this time to release some stress.
6. Last but not least, routine. If u have an independent everyday routine you’ll be building on urself, be distracted and focused on completing ur tasks, and ignore the negativity they project on you, overall u’ll spend most days without any major interactions with them. U’ll go to sleep with an empty feeling of not being loved. But u won’t be frantic with a fresh wound from something new they’ve said.
Im not saying any of this is healthy im just saying this is what realistically will get u by while ur staying with them.
What if it’s during the quarantine?
I feel like I can’t escape the abuse and the family my family lives with downplays the abuse my mom does. They also abuse me emotionally and make me feel crazy for feeling abused.
Alex, my family and I are having to go through this with my dad... See my comment on this video for details, but it's gotten very hard, and really it's just making everything so clear for me that I don't need him in my life. I imagine a lot of people in these relationships are having to deal with this and hopefully, this quarantine will be the fuel that will get us to working on our own path to greatness... Stick to your guns and know you are worthy of value bc you are awesome and ya know it. 😉 Take care love and reach out if you need someone to talk to ❤️ we got dis!! Sam 🙂
I’m going through the same thing with my mom. She has so many issues that I really can’t believe it.
@@evflyleaf very true same with me and I don't even earn money so I can buy my own house and live happily
Sameeee my dad for meee it’s crazyy world living with narcissist
I've been living with their toxicity around 25 years and couldn't take it anymore during the quarantine, feeling the prison getting smaller, sensitive more than ever and finally thinking about suicide; hence I searched youtube to help myself out before destroying myself and work life.
At 37 yrs old, I finally decided to go no contact with my toxic abusive narcissistic "mother"...my mental health has dramatically improved
I just recently turned 13, my parents began to show there “True colors” his helped a lot, my friends even offered to help.
I live in a different state than my mom (I'm in my early 30s). When I miss her call & call her back, she says "where were you??? Why you miss my call?" 🙄 I knew it was toxic living at home, but when I moved out on my own, I noticed how crazy it was from the outside & glad that I no longer live there.
Can you do a video on coping mechanisms that we can use when toxic family members trigger anxiety and depressive episodes in us?
I hope Katie responds to this question. I have a family member that I can’t cut off, well coz they’re family. But I have never met anyone more toxic in my life. Spending a day with them is just so draining and I try to limit that as much as possible.
Even if I don’t engage, just hearing them talk is just filled with so much negativity that I go home with a boatload or anxieties and I need to sleep it off for days. Think: dementor (not even kidding)
The person feels like everyone around them isolates them and gets upset and comes to our house crying about it, and we have told them how we feel about the negativity but it never changes. We are just tired of things never changing.
Would really love a way that we could cope with them without losing our sense of happiness whenever they’re around?
Literally doing the best I can which is smile and nod because I fear if I open my mouth, the truth comes out. I instead text the conversation live to my husband and my remarks along with it. I worry I either bottle up the negativity in me or spread to my husband but I just wish there is some how it doesn’t need to be that way.
The comment about how their lives are so much worse is a major slap in the face for everyone because everyone already goes out of their way for em. If we all decide to not interact with them, we’re literally sentencing them to starvation and isolation. Because somehow they’ve managed to piss off all their friends and family members that only the ones in the vicinity are left.
My issue is not with my own family but a significant others family. We both find it difficult and anxiety inducing to be around them. I personally really hate their micro aggressions and ignorance on issues like civil rights and racism. My SO had an (in my opinion) emotionally abusive upbringing where he was not allowed to express emotions that his parents weren’t comfortable with or challenged their authority. This behavior not only continues but has affected my SO into adulthood where he has trouble identifying and expressing his emotions. I need coping mechanism because it is not solely my choice to be around them, I do so to support my partner. I have never in my life had to deal with such toxicity that I couldn’t just immediately cut out. Even setting boundaries with his family provoked outrage and false victimhood. It’s exhausting. We no longer live in the same state, but we will be going on a large family trip to another country making us both feel even more vulnerable. Any tips on exercises that have helped you in similar situations would be deeply appreciated.
OMG. +1
Yvonne Sowell I feel your comment in my soul
I am so tired, i want to move out i want my space. I hate it when they judge me because i am doing things my way not the way they want.
I am not my father I am me, i want to be me, Not like him, he maybe successful in life so what. I am not him i will never be him.
I want to work and have a life
I dont want to be a successful businessmen or politician just to surpass him or be like him.
I just want to be a person that wants to be happy and doing my things my way.
Thank you atleast you give me a step or guide what i neee to do just to have space.
You're going to have the most amazing life, full of happiness. I wish you all the strength, happiness and health in the world, you can get through it
@@SaraAhmed-kk6ex its already one year😊😊
Thank you. Haha if funny this past years a lot have change
I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels like this about my parents. It’s been really difficult battling depression under my parents roof during quarantine and feeling emotionally drained being around them. There are times where I feel so isolated back home since I study abroad and I just feel in need of support which my parents just tend to see as not that important. I think they are capable of it, they are some what considerate, they just don’t know how. I desperately want to not depend on them anymore and live on my own, they just never stop.
I feel validated with this video. My mom everytime I give her a chance, and i go visit her, she always find a way to call me loser for being single and independent. But last week was enough, i'm applying the "determinate how much you need from them" and it totally makes sense. So thankful for this video
Kati: Limit the amount of time that you spend at home
COVID-19: ha ha ha
For anyone who's having an issue w the "Getting out" aspect of it emotionally, or with siblings, here's a story of one of my cousins:
My cousin, at abt the age of 12, grabbed up all the siblings he had in the middle of the night. He, at that point, was well aware that at least his little sister was being sexually assaulted by his mother's bf. His mother was doing nothing. So, my cousin waited til our state's curfew hour, grabbed his siblings, and left in the dead of the night.
Police found them, took them to a shelter, and they were put into the foster care system - and eventually into my grandmother's care for several years of their foster care experience (which is why i call them my cousins, they were *not* placed from one abusive environment into essentially the same one). Crazy thing is, my cousin eventually became his senior class president, and got a full ride scholarship into a medical program. It gets better.
So, even if you're an adolescent, please do speak up and speak out for yourself in whatever way you have available. Look up your city's children's curfew, have a bag packed just in case. Whatever you gotta do to get you and your family outta there
Theresa P Awesome story!
God bless your cousin for his bravery and devotional ❣️
I also get from your story is to just simply believe. Facing your fear and stepping out of your comfort zone, God will create situations for you to evolve. And before you know it, your in a much better place then you were before because you simply had faith.
What a badass! Great story, thank you for sharing.
I had to actually sneak phones to call the police! Had a brother that pulled knives on me! Arthritis and parents that locked me in my room with master locks as I had a sleep disorder with no name so they could sleep! Claimed it was 4 to 1 outta the 5 of us! I called the police on it and according to my state laws any WIFF of abuse like that (we were adults and they still did) it is an automatic forced entry search to check it out! They didn't, my brothers told them each time "I'm too disabled to know what I'm talking about" and at one point through the WHOLE THING my brother who turned during the chat which did NOT make the officers suspicious and I told them he did, had a KNIFE BEHIND HIS BACK! I found out YEARS LATER they somehow signed papers that made me an adult minor behind my back and can only hope they're stopped I'm 29! In my state I ONLY get a 5 year window to sue, only found out THIS YEAR that the papers they had made me an adult minor past the time I had (5 years after I was 18!) and so I might not have been able to do a thing! It's such an obscure law that I just LITERALLY got lucky enough to over hear it one day BUT sadly 6 years too late as I was dropping papers off at the courthouse and I collapsed on a bench crying! Would have been so much easier if we hadn't moved to a 4-way intersection in the middle of nowhere that only had a bus that ran about 2-7 both ways in the afternoon and about 6-9 both ways in the mornings on WEEKDAYS ONLY! They kicked me out after my OLDEST BROTHER (the one that pulled knives on me OD'd, left in the note a DNR and that he had been abusing me ALL ALONG and claimed "we finally believe you and you're not nuts!" after like 8-9 years! *chuckles* They were all, "we're going to kick you out for your safety" as we chose to revive the scumbag! Due to not being able to get a job and docs that fast I was still/am forced to rely on them a bit so I'm fucked! I have no close family and the only Aunt maybe or a cousin of my dad's (I don't know as a lot of dad's siblings are way older and his family didn't talk much about their uncles/aunts) that used to live near us even backed up me being mentally ill just by me telling her as she was just with us as kids and back in early childhood my parents only used those doors with those knobs with that tiny little thing in the center that you just twisted to lock it and I don't get why they couldn't swap to those so I didn't feel like a caged animal!?! My dad who is a DOCTOR can't even see how laying the lock over the door and NOT locking it can cause the same effect as feeling caged like you're in a puppy mill! I tunnelled outta them but as they were all upstairs and the front door was heavy and the only way out other than the garage as they eventually locked the sunroom addition attached to my room and even with a kitchen knife I couldn't scrape off the seallent they used on my window! I hoped the relative was close still, would have compassion and take me in! Instead, she acted like my mother (even though she is from my dad's side as she only knew the "fake, happy family" image we put out to the world when young) and called me a cynical, fucked up, mentally deranged, narcissist that needed a mental hospital and needed to be forcibly drugged til comatose so her derangement caused by her warped, disabled mind never destroyed the world again! My dad's family is Jewish and no offense to any Jews out there but, THEY TOOK THE HOLOCAUST HARD as dad's parents BARELY ESCAPED! To the point of his part German father NEVER speaking German at home and she started reminding me of horrendousness I saw from EVERY NAZI in all of the dozens of films, documentaries, books, photos, etc. on WWII! My mother (Catholic but not that religious) WAS THE EXACT SAME!
I am a 14 year old female, currently living in a toxic household. They are always blaming everything on me, throwing things back into my face, bringing up my past mistakes, guilting & manipulating me, verbally and mentally abusing me, etc. They make going home a living hell for me and my siblings. It honestly hurts to see my siblings complain about going home. They won't let us go anywhere with friends, and they won't even let us sleep over at my grandmothers. I have no idea how to deal with this. I'm so sorry for those of us teenagers viewing this video, I hope it gets better for all of us.
Great advise!!
The best part to me are boundaries.
I am the only child of two narcissistic and toxic parents; whereas one of the toughest parts was to shake off your own family, which I did for my own sanity. I dealt with two panic attacks that sent me to the emergency room, and extreme dark moments after my parents took certain “drastic” decisions. The worst part was that I later discovered that it was a vicious cycle that almost was taking over all of my family. At 42 with two beautiful children and a wonderful wife I literally don’t allow anything or anyone to get to me anymore. I concentrate on the things that I want and protect my own family like my most valuable possessions which they are! I limit my conversations to when I feel like talking and not the other way around.
This video enlightened me and got me thinking that the decisions I took on my own, were pretty much the best ones I could’ve taken. Thank you very much.
You are the author of your life not your parents,Strengthen your emotional maturity you can't control someones behavior you can only control your response to them.
I love that! So true!! xoxo
I did this, but her emotional abuse still caused so much damage that took decades to heal.
@@MagnoliaPantherWoman word
@@MagnoliaPantherWoman you have to do inner child healing.
@@MagnoliaPantherWoman thank you so much for making this comment I'm going to try and use all the infomation you said to use against my parents and I have to admit I feel so crushed some times by my mom as shell find any way to get in my head wether its through my cripling recent germaphobia or threatening to take the lock of my door or send me away to a mental asylum or when I was little to write the letter L for loser on my forehead with permanent marker and I've kept my feelings buried down beacuse every time I go to speak to her she just walks away saying i need my time away from you for my mental health so to just speak to her i need to find at a time were she cant run away just to speak to her and then she says that im harrasing her into speaking and that I'm just like this beacuse I'm a bratty teenager and there known for going against there parents and also that for all she's done for me this is how I repay them and then she completely turns it around to make me feel and seem like a bad person and then until I apologise to her she will be constantly on my back angry at me every were I go and most recently I confronted her again years later saying how I'm a person with opinions and not just and dumb child or teenager and how I was feeling generally belittled and it ended up turning into a huge argument in amongst the anger I screamed go die and imediatly regereted it and didn't mean it so when I went to say sorry she ran away saying how cruel I was as she ran into a room and slammed the door later that day she ran down stairs to try to overdose on my dad's Medicine and I had to hold her down from doing it as she shouted at me IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED YOU IDIOT! she eventually calmed down and walked away so as she was upstairs I called my dad to say what had happened and he just told me to breath and go out and have a walk little did I know around the corner was my mum shouting at the phone to my dad whilst I was on it that I was lying and I was fabricating the story and now all this time later she starts invading my privacy making mean comments teasing my germaphobia and then she says she needs to drive me to my therapy which helps my germaphobia which I always go to but unfortunately today I couldn't as my clothes were really dirty and I didn't want to put them on as it could trigger a spiraling panic about being dirty then I'll have I huge shower so I said that I really didn't want to go as that could happen and then she shouted at me saying she'll send me to a Looney bin and that I'm her and everyone else's problem and main source of stress and I stood up for my self and simply replied I don't won't to go through a panic attack today so she called my therapist saying how I'm not even putting on clothes now and that I'm always lazy and stuck in my room all the time and that's making me unhappy when I'm not I'm an introvert and every time I say it's not me being indoors its you she replies by saying stop being such a grumpy teen and she completely bounces of the subject then later that day after speaking to my therapist she calls my dad saying the same lies and as could have guessed and it ended up in an argument once she hung up her phone and then she went out and bought new clothes and rescedualed the apoinment for later that day once she came back I was going to put on the new clothes to go out but then she bring up the argument from earlier causing another argument and we eventually didn't go later that day she gets runs a bath gets drunk in there and starts crying causing my dad to imediatly blame me for what I had done making me feel even worse later as my mum had not stopped crying and was ignoring my dad's question of was she okay he broke the locked door down only to find out there was alcohol and a knife there and that she was going to kill herself long story short she eventaully didnt as me and my dad stopped her but from that day on wards shes been more hatefull and deppressed and taking it out on me to the point were when i sit down by the tv at night to watch something and to calm my emtions and mind she will come down stairs and say something or threaten to take something of mine away from me and now she's just told me minutes ago that she just doesnt care anymore and doesn't love me anh more and im not even gonna cover my dads stupid alcoholism that's he's had prataclly my whole life or my stoner sister in this comment and don't know wether I wrote this for my self or to finally tell some one and get it out but I do know that this comment will certainly help me thank you
I'm not allowed to get a job so I can't get out. And I can't set boundries without getting yelled at for being disrespectful. So...then what?
Heather Beth honestly same,, I just stay in my room and avoid seeing them . The less I see them the better
@@jessicapresa6094 I'm not allowed to do anything but school work even during the summers.
Heather Beth oh gosh! I feel you i was never allowed to get a job but now I'm planning to leave for good❤❤💫💫
How old are you? I'm 18 :/ I feel you. This fckg country were I am. Can't get out. The only way (opportunity) I had was a short career being a airport fire fighter an after one year of that career i get an insured job. But a few days ago after go to the doctor, they let me know that I had serious problems in my spine. Can't do the career. My parents don't even care...
Same here..
I was diagnosed by OCD last week. I keep the house so clean that i cant even leave a single drop of dirt on the house. It's because of my strict grandmother. She also had OCD before.
Because my grandma's mother was also strict and so is grandmother's grandmother.
Toxicity is passed through generation.