8 Signs You Are Dealing with Narcissistic Abuse
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- čas přidán 21. 05. 2024
- June 1 was Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day. Narcissistic abuse can come in many different forms from examples of belittling comments, growing contempt, ignoring behavior (eg. silent treatment, passive-aggressiveness), triangulation, sabotage, downplay, and much more. Many people are not sure whether or not they are suffering from narcissistic abuse. Cognitive dissonance and the confusion that goes with abuse can have a lot to do with this. The purpose of this video is to help you identify subtle signs that you may be a victim of narcissistic abuse.
This project was done in collaboration with Malanie Tonia Evan an amazing channel that helps women and men from all over the world not just survive abuse, but thrive in their new abuse-free lives. You can check her channel here: / melanietoniaevans
#narcisisticabuse #psych2go
Related Videos:
4 Types of Narcissism
• 4 Types of Narcissism
6 Signs of Narcissistic Abuse
• 6 Signs of Narcissisti...
9 Signs Someone is a Narcissist
• 9 Signs Someone is a N...
Credits
Writer: Melanie Tonia Evans - blog.melanietoniaevans.com/8-...
Script Editor: Kelly Soong
VO: Amanda Silvera
Animator: Faye Miravalles
CZcams Manager: Cindy Cheong
Source:
blog.melanietoniaevans.com/8-...
Have any questions or channel you would like to see us collaborate with? Email us here:
Editorial@psych2go.net
Here's a video that we did yesterday, that you guys can check out: czcams.com/video/bVK6lhpL8iU/video.html
What about the healthy side of healing from NPD?
Please don't say "brand new", because it really makes channel sound cheap, compared to it's actual value.
Thank you! ❤️
@@florescabin Can you share a few examples?
@@eugenijusdolgovas9278 ???
If you were to send this video to a narcissist, I imagine they would say “yes! This is how *you* treat me”.
no, they’d probably find it pathetic. ask you if you’re accusing them of being abusive. pull the victim card and go ghost until You apologize, and most people probably would. and then there’d be a “discussion” on fixing thing and it may last about a week or two but things will go back to normal eventually and you’ll remain caught in the cycle. narc’s know what they’re doing and confrontation doesn’t work, but it does feed their ego when they come out on top
They deny deny deny until you find yourself questioning everything again. Don’t do it!!!
Yes!!!!!!!
Yep this is why I'm hesitant to send it to the person I'm thinking about
@@indigo7 dont. Just leave. Its going to hurt but youll be free to focus on yourself. I cant tell you itll be easy and youre going to be unhappy. But the ending will be good(:
I never understood how people got into and stayed in abusive relationships until I was in one
same here
Ditto. Heartbreaking to go through, but learn a lot about ourselves in the process.
@@williamlevy6964 What the fuck? No it isn't. No one in a abusive relationship reacts to dominance like that unless they have some sort of weird kink. If anything, it might scare them or remind them of something their past/current abuser did. Sidenote, what the fuck are you talking about? "Because *you* sexually respond to dominance"? What's that supposed to mean? Asexual people exist, and some of us don't sexually respond to anything. So why do you think you have the right to make such vulgar accusations?
@@psychadellicsweater8311 It's not an accusation , it's a fact. I get it, it's a humiliating fact but it's still a fact.
this
I suffered severe anxiety and mental disorder 18 years ago as a teenage. Got diagnosed with OCD. Spent my whole life fighting OCD. Not until my mom recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 6 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
Congrats on your recovery. Most persons never realizes psilocybin can be used as a miracle medication to save lives. Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death bud, lets be honest here.
Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Australia. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them
YES sure of Dr.benfungi. Did straight shrooms in few nights. Left me like a blank slate after words, no more addictions, pains, ptsd and depression. Shit saved my life, all thanks to Dr.benfungi
100% agree I used to have Psychosis and paranoid thoughts like "people thinking about me talking about me etc. Very odd behavior after getting off Adderall from 7-16. Antidepressants at 18-29. 31 now. I took way to much, but took about 20g of Gold caps (Psilocybin containing mushroom) I analyzed my entire life. The emotions that came out helped me understand behavior etc more. Wont ever need to do it again because I'm happy and contempt forever, but I wish more people did this to alter their perception of reality. Would help with healing much trauma
How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta
remember not every narcissist will match this 100% but if you feel a constant anxiety around a person instead of comfortability it’s a good idea to listen to what your body is telling you and to get away from that person
Your comment is everything I needed right now. Thank you!
Exactly. They are manipulative and it feels unsettling n off.
thanks. It is also enough if they don't respect us and show no empathy and repeat their behaviors and their values don't align with ours so it's always better to cut the ties
The day you realise you just not taking it anymore ... is such a good day.
Facts
IM RIGHT THERE
But where do you go? What if you really have nowhere to go? This is a big problem for many people.
Happy Harry 1509
I’m not saying it’s easy. And in some cases it may be exceptionally hard. But there is always a way.
How do you make that day last?
The misinterpretation of my words and arguing was the worst. And they always say it’s you doing that. When it’s clearly them.
THISSSS
Absolutely
Lawd yessss!!! It made me so confused😩😩😩
look up Patricia Evans on verbal abuse
Wish he would care
Can't take this back and forth
Of him saying he lives me then taking that away.
I literally asked myself yesterday “how bad does it have to get before I realize I need to leave?” Wow this is really confirmation. Only happy tears from here on out
It took me over 11 years to notice what it was. She chose to separate, but kept the manipulation rolling even while out of our home. I shared this with friends I made online and they said it sounded like narcissisms. I didn't have a name for this cycle that I always blamed myself for until I started researching the topic. Narcissism was always one of those negative terms people threw around so lightly in movies when breaking up. It never had a meaning. Now I have a name for the manipulation, mental, and emotional abuse that has left me so exhausted in my soul for years.
It seems toxic people are toxic because the power was taken from them by wrong parenting or by the wrong school system, where kids lose passion for knowledge, or hobbies or relationships etc.
therefore they learn to take power from others because the power was taken from them at a certain age by learning wrong habits and self-worth.
Instead of learning to give power to each other through love and care.
I asked myself this same question. This is when you know it’s time
Same here. And waiting on a sign from God
Who do you leave alcoholic narcissist
When dealing with narcissism, you should know that it’s not personal. “It isn’t personal” is one of those cliches used to cushion all kinds of bad actions taken by people who need an out for being immoral, but in this case it actually gets near the truth. Narcissists don’t know how to love or be a friend; they can’t afford to spare the energy to learn, because they’re always in a state of high emergency, cataloging potential threats and redoubling their defenses. When they claim to love you, it means nothing. They may even think they mean it, but they don’t understand the concept - they can’t feel it. They never attach to you or anyone else. Other people are paper cut-outs to the narcissist, like those cardboard figures of celebrities you pose next to for a selfie. Narcissist value their own children only as mirrors of themselves. When they destabilize you or attack you, it means nothing. They are stuck in an endless conversation with themselves, in which you are an inanimate object, to be assigned their own faults and used as a surrogate punching bag for their hatred of themselves. When they toss you out, it’s no more meaningful than a junkie tossing away a needle; when they try to reel you back in, it only means that they tired of the new drug and need a hit of the old. None of this is personal. They’re too terrified to have personal relationships, opting instead for extraction of admiration from a subservient partner whose range of action they strictly constrain. This is not personal. None of it. The narcissist does not know who you are - it doesn’t know how to know other people. Like the vampire or the chainsaw-wielding creature in the horror film, it’s from another world, bereft of the concept of human connection. Moreover, People wonder why they end up hurt, seriously hurt, and even killed for their own actions. Cheating is a choice and there’s simply a lot of ignorance in the process.... Thank you so much for helping me out Metaspyhub@gmail. com. Your advice and services helped me so much. You are a lifesaver !!! The information you gave me about my cheating partner when you gave me access to his phone was everything I needed to get,.. thank you very much..
Wasn’t expecting this to be an ad for a scam service 😂
Well it started off really well 😂
girl not the ad smh
This is so hard to watch. To finally accept that someone you love and thought you wanted to spend your life with was just smoke and mirrors. I’m having all of the signs of anxiety I just want to heal I don’t want this ugly feeling of loneliness upon me. That man didn’t love me , he loved the way I loved him and what I can do for him. The day you realize you can’t change these people is the day of awakening. Currently almost 1 whole month of no contact. Please pray for my strength.
You can do this!! 🥺❤️
You got this, girl! Keep looking to the future and know that one day you'll look back on all of this and wonder how you could have ever regretted leaving a situation like that.
I hear you because I was in a similar situation for many years. Loneliness, depression, anxiety, isolation--yes, I have had those, too, and sometimes still deal with them. I can honestly say that those feelings diminish as time goes on. Remember that healing takes time-even if you (and I) would prefer that it didn’t! It helped me to talk to a therapist for a while and it may help you, too. (She was able to help me deal with conflicting thoughts and emotions-especially when I was hurting badly.)
@@okiefoodieking it well get worse trust me my ex took my kid lied in court..there sly walk away u deserve better..they only nice wen they love bombing g u look it up..xxxxx
Stay strong 🤍🤍🤍
Worst part is when the narcissist lies and flips the script so well to make themselves the victim, that they actually convinced other people that you’re the horrible person that they say you are. You don’t even get to defend your character😭
That is bad... As long as the majority of those close to you know the real Yasia you are good. The other person's claims against you won't matter. It happend to me. My family, colleagues and friends was behind me all the way.
Exactly :(
Amber Heard ?
😭😭😭 current situation... and I’m stuckkkkkkkkk 😭😭😭😭😭😭helpppp pleaseee
@@dancingqueen6866 get out girl it will only get worse...Choices: Broken, bruised or in a bag? Not even a restraining order could get my person to understand, they are sick and feel invincible.
Being with my ex narc for the past 8 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I hired a private detective Barryinvestigation@gmail. com. Once I knew what the narc was up to, it got easier to get over that lying, cheating, sack of doo doo, loser. I didn’t need closure from the narc, I paid for it. Best money I EVER spent!
As hard as it is and as much as I cry , I AM SO GLAD I FINALLY CHOSE ME AND WALKED AWAY..
Don’t ever let anyone dim your light, you are meant to shine ✨
💯💯💯 they will dim your light down to nothing & I mean "nothing". I was there & also vowed it could never be me but here I am able to state it too was me
@@MeliDeeX 🤝
He told me he’s the sun it’s his time to shine. Can you believe that?
And my parents wonder why I stay in my room all the time
Gracie Martin I feel you on that next level. I’m not lazy, I just don’t want to interact with you
Me too
I feel that so much.
Me too ):
I wish I get to stay in my room 24/7. My parents will still drag me out of my room. Even if I don’t want to...
They never admit their wrong. And they love to push your buttons they hate to see you happy. Anything you enjoy they hate. They leave you so angry because they repeatedly disrespect and argue every single day.
How True.
100% true
They say you're argumentative and you tell them they're combative. But really they just don't like being called our for their shit. So now I'm confrontational . Yeah ok . I call shit that don't fly with me so now I'm the bad person 💁🏽♀️
Not one lie was told!!
My ex wife said these words too me...I'm gonna say something to you I never said in 9yrs, I'm sorry, this was after the divorce, and then it hit me, I wasted 11yrs of my life, with someone who only now, since she was in a bad place in her life, too say I'm sorry, WOW The arrogance of it all.
There are many different signs. These include spending time on phone that was not spent previously, withholding sex from you, withdrawing in communication with you, agitation or anger over Petty stuff or making up situations to get angry or agitated over, lying, being secretive in any way, randomly spending more time caring for and pampering oneself such as putting on makeup or wearing cologne or coloring hair etc. Any type of changed behavior that is not aimed at pleasing or benefiting your relationship. With all of that though, follow your gut. your gut is telling you that something isn't right and it's telling you that this could or is happening, therefore listen to it. Just Free yourself from all of it! Run and don't look back. Go 100% no contact. The mental and emotional abuse is not okay at all! Do not bring anything up to her. Don't try to rationalize or have a conversation about anything. Don't let her know that you know she's in narcissist. All of that can cause a narcissistic rage. If you have not yet witnessed one of those just trust me that you don't want to! A narcissistic rage is beyond any rage I have ever seen or witnessed in my entire life. I am an army combat veteran and served front lines for a year and afghanistan. I have abuse going back from as long as I can remember, the first time in my personal memory is 2 years old. With everything I have been involved in, and my rape, other sexual abuse, their physical abuse, etc in narcissistic rage is by far the worst! If you need to contact your local police department and start a new contact order. No one can protect you like you can! free yourself from it all and move forward in your life. The minute you run and go no contact is the minute your life begins again. If need be seek out professional help. Therapy is the best thing I did for myself. The best gift I gave to me! The abuse is so deep and overwhelming that having a professional guide you through the steps of the healing process is extremely beneficial! Just remember, there is great strength in asking for help. There is great lack and strength or no strength at all in putting on a mask and hiding behind the opinions of society and pretending that you are okay! As human beings we all witness A Time In our lives where we are not okay! Those that heal, move past, and move forward, and have a brighter future are those who ask for help and do the work that is needed through the help! I'm so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best! Good luck! Always remember that you are stronger than you believe you are, you are worthy and deserving of better and always, and you are enough just the way you are and who you are today! Take this time for you! Get yourself again. Fix that meal that you're all time favorite, rent that movie you've been wanting to see, have a guys night out with your best friends, remodel a room in your home, go purchase that item you've been wanting to for so long, just do for yourself! Self-acceptance, self-love, and being able to forgive yourself is far more important than what anyone else can give to you! Believe in who you are! You deserve nothing less than that! You're not alone! Feel free to tag me in any other questions that you have! I'll help if I can. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at Digitalinvestigate@gmail. com, where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you..........
YOU DESCRIBE M LIFE EXACTLY!!!!
You bots are getting too sophisticated 🤦♂️😂 I agreed and felt everything you said and then you hit me with the scam ad.
The thing with narcissists. Based on my experience with them that they expect you to be nice to them all the time and at the same time, they treat you like garbage.
100%
Sooo true, why do they do this?
@@Peace-12230 They can dish it out but can’t take what they dish out.
If you're like me, asking yourself if you're the narcissist, just remember a real one would never ask themselves that question.
You think you're narcissistic because you demanded to be treated well and with dignity
Oh my gosh, thank you for posting this. Because lately I have been asking myself that question.
@@dauphin15 me too.
Thank you for this reminder. Looks like all of us have been gaslight a F**k ton huh lol. May you all find healing and happiness.
@@mollywilson5639 same
Wow! This one hit me to the core
One thing I learned after 17 years of dealing with a narcissist is they are always the victim, or the hero, but never the villain
ooo 🙌🙌🙌🙌 so fucking facts.
If a normal day as passed my mother will try to bring people down at work, come home and say how she was the best one and people treat her like shit
Yes!! You said it perfectly!!
Dud im feeling like im the narcissist in my relationship what should i do
@@sohagdawn go get professional help
Narcissistic ex had me walking on egg shells, giving up my hobbies, my time with my friends, and even my time by myself by making me feel guilty for it. She didn’t have her own group of friends but made me feel like a terrible person for having my own. I tried to introduce her to my friends, but she didn’t even put any effort despite the fact they were so kind and careful when speaking to her and very welcoming. Before I knew it I had spiraled into a lifestyle where all my time was being spent with her, not doing any of the things I liked and me just settling for anything that would keep her from getting upset. My friends worked really hard to save me from that relationship. And they succeeded.
you have amazing friends
I'm re-watching this video 48 hours after splitting from my partner whom I believe was narcissistic, but not pathologically so. To be reminded about trauma bonding was so useful as I've been wanting to reconnect with him already, despite 72 hours ago being suicidally low. I thank those who contributed to and produced this video, I'll use it as a reminder of what I went through and am working through... and I'm sending love to others out there struggling with this.
❤
Hang in there buddy, it’ll get better with time, stay no contact ❤
How are you doing now?
I hope you’re doing better now brother ❤
He always told me “you have no idea how nice I am to YOU.”
He tried to make me feel guilty for regular human decency.
My dad always said he fed us and put a roof over our head. As if it were something like was going way out of your way for your kids, who probably deserved much less but just got incredibly lucky. He didn't feel he had any responsibilities outside of that. Keeping us alive already granted him hero status.
It's the same thing he kept telling me. That I'll never meet a man who treats me well like him. That God gave me everything but I'm spoiling it all.
Yes!!! Omg. “You’re lucky I even make time for you there’s a lot of people that want to see me and I yet right now I’m choosing to spend my time with you and even thats not good enough for you” UGHHHH
Wow. This is totally what I'm going through and I keep breaking up and then getting back with this person. What is wrong with me. Ugh
Mine tells me that I have no idea how much she loves me
Getting tangled in a circular argument with a narcississt is one of the most draining things on earth. Its possible the argument will never end and you'll just end up confused and feeling like a horrible person.
Im going to be honest. I'm in the midst of emotional physical & financial abuse at this very moment in my life. The narc that abuses me is my own adult son. he doesnt even live with me- Ive only seen him 3 times in the past 6 months yet he managed to attack me physically yesterday!! He stalks me and any women he can involve. The ONLY thing that makes me feel better is the idea the HOPE that I can help someone else. That this lesson, this pain will help someone else. Look you'll meet all kinds of narcs in your life. In fact, we all fall on the narc spectrum and some really amazing beautiful successful ppl may rank high on the narc spectrum. When you meet ppl who rank high on the spectrum? You better beware. And dont pro-create with a narc or you'll be paying the price for you entire life. My 25 yr old son is a dark triad narc. He abuses women, children, animals. His father was a violent arrogant abusive womanizer & a successful hustler. I was stupid. My son is like his father only 100x worse. He is only 25 and has a rap sheet. He beats up the one gf he has and gets thrown out. He is barely above homelessness. If you saw him you'd think he was a heroin addict. Its not drugs. Its dark triad narcissism. He cant come into my home ever again for years already. Bc he has physically attacked everyone in the house. RUN. If you are not legally bound or in any way related to the narc that you know? RUN. the narc will want you forever. Thats a given. They dont even experience love the same way you & I do. To them, you're like a source of water. They will never forget where the water source is & They will never stop checking back to see if you have any more water
Mckenna Champion same but it’s my mom and sister and both of them shut me out I’ve just given up and I don’t respect them anymore
I feel this way with my mum... It’s got to a point where I can’t be bothered to put the energy into trying to make her see my dude of things, because she’s UNABLE to see things from my perspective because she doesn’t have the tools within herself to.... So it’s got to the point where I have to just treat her at the level she is..not talking about certain things.. sharing certain things... etc... it’s sad but that’s his needs to be for now..
It really is and it can leave you feeling intimidated to bring up any issue with any person moving forward. It's so disorienting.
Exactly what I feel.. I feel so lost and out of energy.. I feel like I'm guilty of everything 😭
Fibromyalgia hit me like a truck during my last relationship, and when I started breaking free, it started stopping too. I cried so hard watching this. Thank you. I will never again forget how priceless freedom is.
I am just realizing now that I am trapped in a highly abusive narcissistic relationship. I hate being stuck in this position.. this is the second time in my life I have been here. I hate how everyone is quick to take her side and blame me because I am a man.. I am literally constantly defending myself.. I do not understand how people can be so evil
I think one thing common with Narcissists is how draining they are. You can feel as if your life, joy, happiness, dreams get drained a way. Dealing with a narcissist is like being someone s unpaid servant
Exactly!
Exactly!
Absolutely, if you find yourself “putting up” with someone’s behavior it’s time to address it......... Simples
So true. A friendship or relationship with a narcissist is exhausting.
Another common thing they have in common is it's all about them and how they can use you to get what they want.
"If someone in your life doesn't share your values and doesn't care about your feelings, then this is not a healthy relationships for you."
👏🏼👏🏼 I hate narrassist or abusers
I stayed as long as I did because she told me she would go to the police and say I raped her. After my pastor told me I should just leave and let her say whatever she was going to say, I left. Sure enough I got back to back paragraph long texts calling me a rapist and threatening me with going to jail.
And I don't what she does. I can go home and not be yelled at lied to and beat up now. I am free and she will never hurt me again. She will never take my money again either.
@@RobertWLarson1 I think you meant to respond to the original post
I had a friendship like this since I was a child and I am glad to have finally had the courage to move on without them. This video is incredibly educational and helpful, thank you so much!!
been in an relationship for almost 10 years and just realised 2 months ago that she has vulnerable narcissistic traits and abused me emotionally through gaslighting, ignoring behaviour and alot of the other stuff mentioned in the video. I almost gave up on myself and had suicidal thoughts. I was always the fault and was held accountable for her emotional state. I questioned everything about myself and still doing it. Im in therapy now and getting better. To all who suffer from narcissistic abuse, LEAVE and NEVER GO BACK! Thank you for the enlightening content! Without this I wouldn't have realised the situation I was in. You saved my life!
Dude
♡ summary of the video ♡
1. Your relationship is not kind, caring, or sane
2. You’re dealing with immature behavior and give up pieces of yourself to comply
3. You are behaving in ways that you normally don’t
4. You find yourself trying to prove that you’re a good person
5. You are mopping up the messes
6. Your boundaries are being disintegrated
7. You feel addicted, disjointed, and manic
8. You’re suffering from abuse symptoms
i recommend watching to learn more 🦋
stay safe, i love you all sm.
Thanks♥️
Thanks. This sounds exactly like my parents. I'm planning on leaving the house when I can afford an apartment or house.
*When you apply to every symptom:*
Wow! I thought I was going crazy... 💔
Aaw shit😔
This just made me realize that my crush/friend has made me feel this way.
It’s really hard tho bc I can’t help but see the good in him and if I were to finish our friendship I’d feel like I gave up on him. And I don’t want to give up on him but I really do feel like I have lost my integrity with him. I’m always scared saying the wrong thing, somehow I’m always the bad guy, I always have to prove myself even tho the evidence and my intentions are crystal clear. Yet there I am wanting and hoping we can talk through it and work things out. And we usually do. But I’m getting exhausted with the same cycle. I want to be there for him and care for him but with his trust issues and toxic behavior it’s extremely difficult.
Also tysm love u too tchalamet, stay safe ♡
I’m making a plan to leave. And I’m working on my emotional and mental health so I don’t come back.
Very brave. Your future self thanks you.
I wish you well.pray for gods protection and wisdom.
do you still love him?
if you do and don’t wanna leave i can refer you to someone who can help you prepare a love spell
@Adam Sandler yes i know
a great man helped me and prepare a love spell for mine and it worked out for me
This is me now... so me, right now... I’m in so much pain and have been, I WANT MY HAPPINESS BACK! 😔
I am in tears after listening to this. Every word in this video is relatable to me. It gave me confidence to believe that it's not my fault all the way long and that I should not look down upon myself all the time in my relationship. Thank you.
I just left my second narcissistic abuser. Good times. Picking up the pieces after abuse like this is never easy. This was very validating, though. The part about projecting his own faults and failings onto me hit me hard. My ex does that constantly. I knew it was over when he told me that I deserved another abusive relationship. Just unreasonably cruel, especially for the context. I have to remind myself that he hit me just to keep myself from messaging him.
If you find yourself in a relationship like this, don’t wait to see if they get better. Don’t go back to them and let them hurt you all over again. Don’t let them dangle themselves as a carrot that they snatch away if you step out of line. Just stay gone.
Then you need to find out what is causing you to be attracted to a narcissist so it doesn’t happen again. I spend the last 5 years with my now ex girlfriend who was diagnosed with npd and bpd . The first 3 months was great then years of mental torture.
Your second? Lmao I think it’s a you problem
@@ja6975or maybe he or she had the same person... 😂😂😂😢😢😅😅
Every man is not same be careful and try again UK den
How do you leave when they make you feel like they have handcuffed you
Things that nailed my relationship on the freakin head.
1.Incapable of a genuine apology.
2.Easily triggered.
3."I don't deserve this disrespect"
4.Projecting their bad behaviors onto you.
5.Disasters are always looming. Relationship is unstable.
6."Hey I'm still talking!" Meanwhile the narcissist is ignoring.
7."We're not going to talk because you're so dramatic"
I really felt 1 and 7. The dramatic one is like they are gaslighting you. It's a horrific type of abuse
@@quailchow Probably not... and if they do they will have to start from themselves and work from the inside out
*I think my lover is going to abandon me*
*I think my business will go wrong*
*I think my friend will gossip about me*
This baseless imagination turns on the switch of your anxiety. In this state, a logical approach is meaningless. If you can't calm down this anxiety, your imagination already becomes a reality. That is why you get anxious and impatient
*search youtube "paradox of I can do it"*
And to add to your #7, "we're not going to talk because you're too insecure to have a real conversation" which I was told every 3 days ever since I was 6 years old for 15 years of my life while I was growing up with a psychopath piece of shit
i’m so in love with my toxic boyfriend. i’ve never argued like this in other relationships. but it’s prob bc i never cared what they did. and now i do. bc i love him. and he has changed so much since i first met him. but idk if i can fully fix him. but what i do know. is i can’t leave him, i love him. only thing trapping me in the relationship, is me
"As you water their ground, yours dries up."
Is that shakespeare
That made do much sense... It's an addiction.. I wasted years of happiness on a women who couldn't deal with her need for instant gratification...
@@williamhufnagel8790 I am still dealing with this kind of person, I hope one day I will find my way out.
Fuck 💔 I cared for him so much and tried to be there for him when all he would do was give 0 fucks abt me
Exactly!
This is *THE BEST VIDEO on NARCISSISTIC ABUSE I'VE SEEN* ~ Should be mandatory viewing for High school students.
I could relate most of the points with myself. Being in a toxic relation where I had to literally prove my worth and broke myself in the process of understanding and loving her unconditionally just to realise how manipulative, ungrateful and inhuman a lady could be
Same for me :(
😢
Watching this just made me cry.... I can’t believe I tolerated this for so long...
You don't need them. It is time for you to leave.You need to realize that you are worth more than you think.
♥️♥️♥️
Same
30 years for me and still here. Narcissist build their relationships on FEAR not LOVE. and the opposite of LOVE is not hate but FEAR
Me too. Our hearts are stonger than our minds. So its hard to end a relationship even if youre the one being abused
The signs are more subtle. I wish it was this easy to spot them. There's a lot of manipulation going on, that make you feel they're the nicest people ever and you need them in your life. I wish this was portrayed.
Its really not hard to tell. If you feel anxious or stressed, those are the 1st signs. If they say something didnt really happen how it did, & it makes you question your reality, thats another sign. When they use anger to get what they want is another. If they start a dispute & as soon as you speak on how you feel they stonewall you (stay quiet), is another sign.
Orrrr...(this might trigger you but it might be able to help you) maybe youre the narcissist.
Best wishes.
@@BxgorJess I agree. But they aren't as clear at first. I spent 2 years in that relationship to realize. It happened a year ago. And I still suffer from post trauma symptoms. I really felt like I couldn't live without her besides the anxiety and stress. I still defended her afterwards. She now looks like "the good one" and stole all my friends (and put them against me). They really do not look evil, that's my point.
@@melleromarin5290 you cant blame your friends either though. This isnt to victimize you, but you were attracted to her, no?. Something about her wheeled you in. The same it has to be for your friends. Hopefully they realize it before its too late. Theyll come asking for your forgiveness, & thats totally up to you. Sometimes we tolerate this behaviour because of the way our parents treated us. Acknowledge it isnt your fault. Change what you do acknowledge & move on. We need this kind of thing to get through life sometimes to figure out what we do want & need. I hope you take everything youve learned from that relationship & thise friendships w you. Best wishes!.
@@BxgorJess No! Not blaming nobody here. Not myself either. My victim mentality is over. I just got a little emotional writing the comment, that's all. Thanks for your words, energy and advice! Even though I'm NOT grateful for her, I don't regret the experience. I've grown a lot as a woman. IT DOES GET BETTER. Have a nice day, sweetheart!
@@melleromarin5290 ufff. Look at you go!. Yessss, girl!. There you go 😊😊😊😊😊
The relief.. as soon as they are out of your life!
It's so hard to leave someone I love, but I know doesn't really love me, but loves the control they have over me.
You deserve to be happy 💕💕 don’t stay somewhere where you are not loved or respected.
This is so accurate , especially the trauma bond- and how they never ever apologize for anything
Mine would apologize -sometimes-. But he would never ever mean it as the same problems have kept on happening for years and years. Sometimes he just says "sorry" in hopes that the conversation will just end, so a sorry with no meaning behind it really.
Never apologize because nothing is ever their fault. No accountability whatsoever. Smh
@@kristinaruvinova5718 What if they do apologize, it just sometimes takes a few days of self reflection to get there? When my girlfriend is in one of her moods where everything is manipulated against me, she does come back a few days later aware of what she did and how it was wrong and apologizes.
@@0fenderbender that's good that she does that but you should talk to her about how it hurts you in the process cuz you don't know where the relationship is in that time she is taking to herself. Also, the other question to ask yourself is... Does she apologize and then do the same thing days later? Cuz then it's a meaningless apology and she didn't try to work on what was causing the issue in the first place. I'm not saying everything should be resolved from one apology, but it's easy to tell when people are at least trying to be better vs. they go back to doing the same thing over and over again when they are pissed off.
@@kristinaruvinova5718 The thing is...she has traits of BPD and Narcissism but not all of them. She is capable of introspection, she is capable of being empathetic, and she is capable of working towards being a better person. She will work on her reaction and actually get better but sometimes certain things are just too much for her to handle and she will revert back. It's unfortunately not so clear cut which makes everything so difficult. She just has such a difficult time controlling her emotion or her anger and it's like she is always in this constant state of fight or flight. I feel like a yo-yo.
I left my narcissist ex & 6mo later I met the best man everrrr 😍 I’ve been happy ever since & I married him 3 year later 🥰🥳 leave them & find love, ppl!! You deserve it!! 😌❤️
Wowww, I'm glad you can make it sisss
So good 🙏🏼It makes me happy to read some encouraging words.
I've been through the worst 3 years of my life questioning reality, questioning myself as a woman I've been used for sex, I've been emotionally abused, I've been manipulated & controlled & I'm praying God helps me heal myself so I can allow a good man into my life, I'm happy you were able to move on & I'm waiting for my happy ending patiently
i'm so happy for u and i agree. dont lose hope. work on yourself and love/respect yourself and you will find an amazing person. i did too and my partner and me are so happy :)
My closest friend is on the narc spectrum and I tell him “when that girl finally leaves you, she’s gonna meet her husband.” They just broke up. 🙂
Me watching the images was an eye opener. Im the person kneeling and always begging to be loved and crying.
This checks every boxes of my journey with a narcissist partner. My love is gone, myself became empty, I’m in total isolation and suffering from depression, only lingers for other family members to have a short and joyful conversation which I can never seem to get from the narc.
I watched this video at a time when my narc discarded me right after this year’s Christmas, forcing me to move out in two weeks from a house that was under my name, forcing me to stay away from our 3 kids.
The pain is real, the struggle is constant, I’m stuck in wanting things to go back to “norm” or break free, start over by myself, and have a chance to finally heal from years’ abuse.
I just need to know I am strong, and it will get better, I just need a little bit help and strength to get through this.
Sorry but it will not get better. Leave while you still can and choose your own happiness!!
I’m in the same boat.. and it’s 5am I haven’t slept and Im going to make my 4th attempt to go stay with my mom and youngest brother in there two bedroom apt..
Yeah I’m lost
The most telling sign you're Dating a Narcissistic Person is when you have ZERO say at all and they get mad anytime you try to express your feelings or concerns and make you feel guilty for doing so,they go out of their way to make sure they ALWAYS have the Upper Hand in the Relationship, because for a Narcissist it's ALL about control
Oh my Lord a hundred percent spot-on I love how they ask you why you're acting like you're acting say if you're upset and you express why you're upset and you answer their question but then talk over you cut you off stop you from telling them while you're hurting that's my other half oh yes always has to have upper hand in the relationship to where at the spare room is clean like last night and he went and blew all his money that he had for the week for work out of town on a gambling machine came and dumped everything out a two dressers every piece of my clothing knocked every thing on the floor of the bedroom and told me I had 5 minutes to clean it up and if I didn't clean it up there was going to be consequences always tells me my kids cannot come and stay with me one moment he wants doesn't want me to work which I'm working because that's one thing that I can have going on in my life that he cannot control because it's a closed private club that he not a member of and never will be. The abuse is always the other person's fault I get told every time this is what you make me do you say the one word that triggers me. Which I've learned to not feed into it a lot or just makes it worse I tried to be nice and calm even well being tore down emotionally verbally and physically it does not help and yes it's all about control
@@lisashelkey8413 sorry for the late reply, just remember that it's not ok to be treated like a Doormat and don't buy into the whole "You make me do this crap" things only get better when you realize that you deserve better, which you obviously have
They are always "right", and only seem to demonstrate real feelings when things are tumbling down for them, for us to feel sorry for them, and then continue the same old attitudes afterwards
Exactly!
@@FMByakugan exactly what my mom did for a christmas,she acted kind cos I went no contact for 3 months and everyone was like oh look she loves you..suckers!I said yeah for how long she loves me,till the first time I will say something she doesnt aprove,if she knows how to be kind,then shes mean on porpouse most of the time,its all a manipulation to gane back control!When she sees shes loosing control etc.she plays the nice or victom card.But now Iam on to her,tnx god for info like this etc.,so we know were not crazy and try to heal as much as possible knowing they cant and wont change if they would want to they would have to admit is not always other peoples fault and they will never do that!So I wish much strainght&healing to all&to live narc.free some day🙏💗
I remember begging and pleading with my expartner to just be nice to me, to please just stop yelling at me and just be nice to me, all I could see was disgust on his face. Cant believe a loved one would do that😔
I have done the same thing. Begging to just not be yelled at...
@いつも愛しています it's horrible manipulation. We're prey for those predators. I'm trying hard to get stronger and learn as much as possible about my situation. If we can save "us" or I will have to just walk away forever.
@いつも愛しています I'm sorry you went through all that. Stay strong, you don't deserve to be treated so horribly. My man is going in rehab for his drug problems. I'm hoping he treats me better when he gets out or we're done also.
Then he isn’t a loved one!!!!!
I've been doing this lately to my partner. I beg him to be nicer to me, because that's all I want
It helps to hear it being told to actually make you realize you need to get out of this situation.
This video completely opened my eyes to the truth. And the comments here opened my eyes even more.
I’m living with a roommate that has the same exact abusive narcissism as described here. He doesn’t just do this to me but to many others including my true friends who have actually been more there for me than he ever has.
I just need to have the courage to take that step to completely cut him off from my life for good.
Yep. The begging and the pleading for BASIC RESPECT *sigh* That should have been the red flag I ought to have payed attention to.
Yes
It's okay. Now you know better.
@@lamarasawyer850 I sure do, and I know what I've had to learn will serve me in future relationships with anyone 🙏🔥
same😭
Oh god, same!
It's ALL about what THEY want. Your happiness is of no importance. But it is. DUMP them.
Okay. But how to dump your father?!
@@anujoseph_10 If someone doesn't respect you...you keep them out of your life. Your happiness is the only thing that's important.
Exactly It's my daughter's world she just lets my live her I only wish i knew how to handle it
@@teresawaid6088 Father. Daughter. You're a person...they need to respect you. Talk. Communicate. Say your behavior is hurting me. Why are you you so hostile. That doesn't work. Try. No contact.
@@CrystalDatingCoach I've tried to talk to her but she doesn't want to hear nothing i say I really don't know if i can walk away she is my baby girl I keep praying and praying that she'll come around but she's stubborn! She knows how she's hurting me doesn't seem to bother her at all
O.M.G completely relatable. Anxiety, depression, withdrawing from the world. I can’t believe I have been snared yet again
4 years with a narcissist, I had no idea I was in a trauma bond and he was a narcissist and videos like this made me realize it and I’ve been gone for good, no contact for 9 months now. Trying to calm my nervous system and get back to me!
It's actually f scary how long I tolerated this. Holy shit.
To everyone commenting their stories, I hope you can get out of that environment or find a way to protect your energy. I'm sending prayers and so much love to every single one of you ❤️ you will heal
I still have to, my older brother is narcissistic and I can't get away from him
Me too but I just found out it was my own family lol 😂 I think it's funny
3 years. Ive dealt with a nasty bitch for three years and I think that put a toll on me. I feel you buddy :(
Same.. going on 13 years now 😐
@@nevergonnagivesomeofyouup7335 Same, mine is my older sister, so tired
The hard thing is when you believe them to be a good person inside that has just been tarnished by the world and you believe you can help them find their peace; while breaking your own.
Don't even bother with the inferior humans called narcissist.
@@akibalnur8070 I’m trying bubba 🥺 Thank you
@@vrygnia2577 Welcome. I wish you can have all the good things of this world
So very true
im always pressured to understanding them and what they went through, but they blatantly refuse to see what they put me through. wish i could leave, but im a minor and he's my dad :/
I was in a very hectic long term relationship for 8 years, related to so much of this video it hurts. God protect and bless anyone currently going through this situation
I have finally had to say goodbye to my sister after 4 years of trying desperately to make sense of our dysfunctional relationship and finally realizing that she is suffering from NPD. Not an easy thing, but so necessary for my mental health and well being. This video is very helpful.
This really touched on how I’m feeling right now. The worst part is knowing someone is bad for you but not being sure what the right decision is
I agree 100%, it’s a horrible feeling
Totally feel the same.. I know this specific person is bad for me. Bad habits are stating to come back and they make me feel like looking after myself is selfish.. I’ve come a long way to make time for me and my mental health and it is going backwards now. Besides that I just can’t leave this person. I don’t want to be alone :(
You’re not alone Helen, I know exactly how you feel. But you are are worthy of more! You are amazing and loved and you deserve an epic love story, love yourself. You will only experience an epic love once you leave this abuse. I wish you all the best, you are a strong, beautiful and independent, you’re not alone 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
For the people whose romantic partner is the narcissist. Leave sooner rather than later. I've been with one for over 10 years. At the 3 year mark is when I noticed it and prepared to leave. Shortly after that his father died and I stayed just to pick up the pieces. My bc failed and I became pregnant. I have a daughter with him and I walk on eggshells everyday. Don't hesitate.
@@reptilian6139 can you get away from him, now?
It was weird how we’d be having a great day or weekend and he’d randomly sabotage it. He’d say something cruel knowing what would hurt me or start flat out ignoring me. The mixed signals kept me around because i was always waiting for it to get better. It truly felt like a roller coaster.
Yes my narc avoided me a lot and ignored me frequently and anytime I’d confront it he’d DARVO me and gaslight and make me feel like I’m the one who’s in the wrong.
YEEESSSSSS! THE BEST WEEKENDS!! OMG! I THOUGHT IT WAS ALL MY FAULT! THIS COMMENT JUST SAVED ME!!! YES YES YES!!!💯♥️
Narcs don't like to see others being happy. I have anxiety and depression. One day I was visiting my parents. My father feels threatened when my mother and I are having a conversation about a common interest, like a true crime case. One time I was smiling or laughing at something my mother said. My father smirked and sneered and said to me, " what do you have to be happy about? You still don't have a job. You're overweight."
I had a close friend who always did this to me-when we were having fun she just had to say something stupid to offend me and I just got fed up
Right. He’d sabotage it but would say it’s you.
Wow. Typing this on a cracked screen due to the obvious. Today was bad, our 2 year old baby girl witnessed things she should never I’m just broken. This video makes me feel comfort. Thank you ❤️
After 18 years of being tormented by a narcissistic person I used to be friends with - I got to speak my truth to her, tell the things she did and said to hurt me. I am not interested in being friends w her, she’s in my neighborhood and I have to run into her at times. After I told her - we talked for awhile. I hope she finds peace some day. Narcissists really are somewhat unaware of the damage they cause and they don’t really care. Stay away is the best advice. Great video
It’s a bit difficult to leave a narcissistic relationship when the narcissist is a parent/guardian. Especially since they’ve pretty much programmed how you respond.
This really hit home.
yeah my mom fulfills all of those criteria, it feels natural but it really shouldnt be.
Everytime they make you feel uncomfortable, record a voicenote saying how you feel. If you cant record, write it down. Every time you feel you dont want to do something or comply w whatever they want, & you feel anger or sad, its important you acknowledge it & write it down. You need to know that they need to value your emotions in order for them to also get what they want. Once you start doing this, it may not get better between you two because narcissists dont change. But you build your courage & confidence. When you get older, itll all be worth it cuz youll recognize all the red flags w anyone else. Best wishes!.
My step dad babeyyyy hes just an awful person my mom is so blind to him
Agree. This is my mom...I can't help but forgive her and then I kick myself later for doing so.
Growing up with narcissists makes one more likely to end up with one as a partner, because you grew up thinking emotional abuse is normal. It’s not normal and without doing the work to learn what’s abuse and what isn’t, one can stay trapped in toxic relationships taking all the blame, thinking you’re just too sensitive, walking on eggshells and trying to be a people pleaser, because that’s what you were raised to be.
I lost myself trying to fix a toxic relationship
I'm sorry and hope you were able to break free from it
you will find yourself again
You lost a weaker part of yourself, making way for the stronger
OK LOL / wow thank you that really helped 🥺
maybe it was a warning from God
dont have a baby with a narc. BE VERY wise and careful with your body and your heart
I have felt ALL of these things. Thank God for that day you decide you’re out of there. It takes time to realize how much of a toll it took.
The sentence at 3:00 couldn't be any more accurate.
One of my biggest fears is becoming like my mother, so I am hellbend on being a good person and almost obsess over the idea. This comes with second gussing myself, thought spirals, not being sure if I should rely on my feelings since they got manipulated and (it feels like) "rewired to be inaccurate" over my whole life and generally questioning my reality and values, if they got somehow "poisend" by my mothers abuse.
All of this being followed up by THE biggest fear: That I have reached a point of no return, where I am either inevitably becoming an abuser myself or will never fully heal from the trauma that is infecting my brain, but will always stay a vulnerable victim for her and/or potential future abusers to exploit and destroy.
Thanks to anyone who read this, I just really needed a place to vent.
Leaving my parents was the best choice I ever made. I've never been happier. I used to think I was just a sad person, that I was naturally miserable. My home is happy, I love my girlfriend, my world is brighter.
@Norian Anne How funny, I'm a pharmacy technician. Interesting that we both ended up with jobs where we get to care for others.
@@andreykuzmin4355 That's a very common feeling and you aren't alone. And honestly, I don't blame you for not feeling anything. How can you feel love and adoration toward someone who lashes out at you? It will take time to heal, but setting yourself apart from her will be good in the long run. I'm proud o you for what you've done, even if we've never met face to face.
@@sebastianmaker6798 just a quick personal question (don't answer if you don't feel like it, it's totally fine) : since it's known we replicate some schemes our toxic parents did, even without wanting to, how are you able to chose to have a family by yourself? that's a genuine question btw, no judgment, just trying to understand
@@UnePaquerette Well, I'm not alone. Both me and my girlfriend come from abusive homes and we've slowly created our own family. Our closest friends have become what will eventually be aunts and uncles (once we have kids). My art professor and his wife became a grandmother and grandfather to my girlfriend's younger brother. On top of that, we both regularly go to therapy and have frequent conversations about how to handle various scenarios. She and I are highly committed to ending the cycle of abuse that our families have perpetuated for multiple generations.
@@sebastianmaker6798 looks super healthy congrats !! And thanks for answering :)
aww, its like yall wrote a biography about my personal relationship with my mum! Shout out to all the kids out there that were raised by a deluded, mean and childish parent.
My mum also has NPD it's so difficult. Took me along time to realise I wasn't the problem x
Yeah that’s me. My mother never never see’s or admits her wrongs ever. And the worst thing is everyone thinks that I am ungrateful and the bad one if I ever say anything.
My mom's a wineo. A drinker.
She mentally destroyed me as a child.
If I wanted to wear a shirt I like?
That's gayy!
Mom, I just want the shirt
It's okay, I still love you for being gay
Just a small example. I use to be a herion addict because of it. I believe everything she said because she was my mom.
I never realized how good a person treats you till I meant my girlfriend. It's weird to wake up in the morning and not be yelled at for existence.
@@mymindseyesees2002 Does she attack you at random times?
@@mymindseyesees2002 are we the same person
Thank you for this video. I was having difficulty time in the past few weeks to find a explanation the staff I suffer recently. I finally take courage to break a 2 years long toxic relationship. It is hurting but I feel much better now.
This was on point in a lot of areas I haven’t seen in other videos, and the crown was a nice touch, they act like the king
This episode broke me. It's so tragic people find themselves in these toxic relationships.
You know the part of 5:40? My cousin is doing that with her current bf.
Once, he told her he may be going to her house at 5pm, she waited and at 6pm decided to call and see what happened, he didnt pick up, try again later, didnt pick up, text him, and he saw the msg but didnt reply, this keep going on till 10pm, he still didnt pick up, didnt call back, didnt reply, and kept reading the msgs she send him. At that point she text him to break up and stuff and less than 5 minutes later he called her... What happened? Less than a week later she forgive him (again!) and its so sad shes holding onto that crappy relationship... i think thats cuz she doesnt think she can get someone better...
After all the things that she told me about him and what he do to her, i noticed narcissistic traits. She said its hard for her to not forgive him, even tho she know many of the things he do hurt her. I just dont get... Sadly, i cant do anything, she its (really) old enough to choose her partner and if she decide to choose someone that doesnt treat her well, well, thats her problem...
@@HikaruFER are they still both together? Im not a professional or anything but their relationship is really unhealthy.. if he does that not so often then i personally dont mind but if he does so frequently or worse is just trying to make her feel insecure and cling more onto their relationship more then that's just toxic
Im just here to diagnose my parents m8
Same here... it perfectly described my ex to the letter. He once he even said to me that my feelings were irrelevant. I was dumbstruck, yet I stayed for a long while because I believed him... He made me out to be this terrible person that the better part of me knew I was not. I loved him dearly yet he treated me like garbage by belittling and even physically hitting me. It's been a month already and I'm happy to say that I finally, FINALLY feel free
Why are you so early
My heart goes out to anybody whose been through this. It was the worst relationship I've ever been through. I have never felt so broken and confused after a relationship in my entire life.
Yes I felt so confused just couldn’t understand why
I'm sorry you had to encounter such things. Don't let this make you feel any less of a person. I hope you find your peace again
Ugh saaaaaame😪
It’s horrible… the mental and emotional abuse you go through is unreal.
I’m in the same boat. I’m currently throwing up food that I finally got myself to eat after 3 days. I’ve never felt so broken about something in my life. Didn’t even feel this sad about my mother deceiving me
The being addicted part really hit home for me....i got out of a toxic relationship but still was and am thinking about what i did wrong or how i need her back in my life. Everything that used to bring joy just had no effect whatsoever and my hole life was completely centered around her. It's just so unfair that it takes so long to heal from such an experience and that you have to be the one suffering even after the relationship even though it was the other person that misstreated you :(
wishing you the upmost love and healing during these times :/ I completed relate to and understand how unfair it feels to be the one left alone to take the heat and cope with the pain *that was inflicted on you*. I wish you the best! as well as to feel proud of yourself for becoming free. Understand that the healing process can be pretty back and fourth. some days missing them so bad and the next not caring at all. wherever you currently are on your journey i’m rooting for you!
hi! its been 7 months since you commented that, how are you doing now?
@@anobody7888 Hi! I finally went to a therapist and mamaged to find some of the readons for my addiction...its still hard sometimes but I mostly can hold back from checking her socials...sometimes when my anciety kicks its really tough but all in all im way better now than i was then :)
thank you so much for asking!
This has to be my most revisited CZcams channel. You do great work
To the person reading this:
You are who you are.
You are a gorgeous and beautiful creation.
You are a masterpiece.
You are who you are.
You are strong and courageous.
You can absolutely do it.
You are powerful.
Remind yourself that you are who you are.
Move forward with your determination, and conviction.
You can absolutely do it.
Have a great day ahead,
Remember you are who you are.
❤️❤️❤️
Thank you, wish you the same.. Loads of love
@@insanelymaddy3190 ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you I really needed that. 10 minutes ago I made a decision that either I'll remember as a historic moment or regret what happened tonight.
@@paulitagallardo9616 You're welcome! Please remember always that the universe appreciates you! ❤️❤️❤️
I love this message
but when i knew that i have these kind of mentality disorder I can't sleep at night please i need help
Anybody can help me
I need someOne to talk
when they watch you disintegrate in front of them because of their gaslighting and lies, and then, when they've apologised and you think you've made a breakthrough , they do it all over again to you.
this just happened to me with my ex, I was being vulnerable and he apologized many times for his bad behavior (but it felt like just apologizing he didn't acknowledge what he did), then pause some hours he came back gaslighting me, I blocked him for real now.
@@serene1486 good, don't go back, they never, ever change.
@@MrBadgerbingo the truth is, breaking up with him makes me feel like I'm the one at fault, bc he doesn't wanna accept the wrongdoings of his actions that I've pointed him out, he just wanted me be the wrong one, the one doing him wrong :(
@@serene1486 He won't say what you want him to say. When i was in this situation it drove me crazy that my ex refused to see how badly she'd behaved. She even claimed that she'd told me there was 'someone else' when we first started dating. Ultimately it's a total waste of time engaging with them, you'll never get the answers you want. So all you need to do is ask yourself, is this person making me happy? That is ALL that matters. Like someone wrote in the comments, the day you wake up and think 'i'm not taking anymore of this bullshit, i deserve better' is a good day. What they don't realise is that with every lie you love them a little less. One day there's no love left and you just.. don't.. care anymore. That's the day they realise what they did.
@@MrBadgerbingo he came off to me so much problematic I've seen red flags, even his ex called him out toxic and he became vulnerable to me saying he really wanna change, he didn't. when we broke up he became so sweet and tell me everything I wanna hear from him, good thing I've ended everything about him. he's so scared of this image of "being toxic", he don't even want to hear that as if he never have this tendency to self-reflect
thank you for replying my comment, really eye opening for me and made my day that I deserve to be happy. I'm still struggling with letting him go, this idea of him wanted to change but nah it ain't worth the time, its not worth it
I just wish further he won't do nasty things to me again. even after we broke up
Thank you for this video. I found out through therapy, I'm a people pleaser. I have a hard time saying no, sticking up for myself and drawing and keeping boundaries. I think a lot of this stems from my childhood, specifically the relationship I had with my mom. As long as i can remember, I've always sought out validation from anyone, but specifically men. I found myself in an abusive relationship beginning at age 21. It was an 11 year ordeal, with a now 4 year old involved. Just 2 days ago, I had to call the police on him for DV, after he intentionally injured me by launching my own cell phone at my face, after he got mad that I told him to get out of my car, due to him disrespecting me. We haven't even been in a relationship since 2019. I'm hoping to get back into therapy and I'm sure I'm gonna need it, especially after being physically assaulted recently.
The only thing worse than dealing with a narcissist, is having to watch one abuse someone you care about, with little to no resistance.
Well this is going to stop. This is a disgusting dehumanizing lesson. I have felt trapped in this because how else am I to stay connected to the person who isn't a narc but teaching a twisted lesson. Im not engaging until this stops
1 - Your relationship is not kind, caring or sane
2 - Give up pieces of yourself to comply
3 - You are angry, disjointed and behaving in ways you normally don’t
4 - Trying to prove (them) you are a good person
5 - You are mopping up the messes
6 - Your boundaries are being disintegrated
7 - You feel addicted, disjointed, manic
8 - You are suffering from abuse symptoms
@@storiesrus.5114 you need to leave now man
THX, sir.
Both my parents
#3 I was never angry I just kept burying all my feelings of hurt, disappointment and depression. But after almost 35 years!, I had a short affair with a man who was very sweet, loving, caring and compassionate. And from what he has told me his wife was narcissistic too. Both of our exs would get angry at us and say things to us like, f--k you. You stupid f--king person. And it wasn't that we did anything seriously wrong or bad to them to cause them to talk to us like that. And they would both brag about how other people thought that they were sexy and good looking. And we're pretty sure that both of them had multiple affair during our marriages. And they both thought that they were better than other people. Me and the other man knew adultery was a sin that we shouldn't have done. But our exs treatment of us made us both do something that we knew was wrong because we were so desperate for love, respect, appreciation and understanding.
This my dad
To all the empaths out there ❤️ We attract narcissists, please be careful. They don't ever change. You can't change the narcissist ❣️NO CONTACT is the only way to free yourself 😌
Very wise advice.
@@thowl7065 Thanks 😊
It really is!
@@janycebrown4071 Your Welcome! 🤍
@@themomentpodcast Stay safe 🌟✨
I was shocked how accurate this was.
I am glad these feelings are normal and that it wasn't just all in my head. ❤
For real 100% every single detail that you provided in this video. I’m so sad and yet so happy to know that I’m not crazy and that I can stop second guessing myself. Thank you so much for sharing this!!!
Anyone else wish they can just go back in time and stop yourself from dating someone in particular???
me all day nigga ruined my life
I wish I could go back in time and tell my child self to ignore that thing called my "mother"
I think it was
Good for me. Helped me grow. But yes, sometimes I do wish that
yes
Oh my god yes. I left him a year ago and much of the trauma has been healed. I think I learned a lot from that experience, but I still get angry sometimes when I thought of things he did and said. A friend told me one of the most important sentences I have ever heard: a yes is so much easier and clearer than a no. in future I will always keep that in mind when in doubt about a relationship.
I need to be myself again. Being in a relationship where they hide you and make you think it’s normal is emotional abuse. I was so stupid
Don't blame yourself. Now you know better.
You were not stupid you were abused and manipulated and none of it was your fault, I hope you find yourself again
Never understood why you’d want to date someone and then never want to hang out. Never made any sense to me and when I brought it up I was “needy” and he was just hanging with friends but it was for hours and hours and hours without telling me where he was or when he’d come home to me.. I have every right to ask where you are at 2 AM when you left at 10 to give someone a ride home and you refuse to answer simple texts of where are you? You on your way home? A simple I decided to leave town snd go to so and sos house and no I’m not on my way home yet but I’ll let you know when I leave is not that hard or picking up the phone when I call rather than immediately send my phone call to voicemail.. oh yeah that happened and I was the one blamed for that night when I had no idea where he went and all I knew was he had been gone for hours and he had my car so I called non emergent dispatch to see if he had been in a car wreck or possibly picked up by police for a bar fight as he told me his friend was a belligerent drunk.
My ex girlfriend was so clever, that in hindsight, she was trying hard to get me to be who she wants me to be, not who i am. And she did it albeit very cleverly. In the end i’m obviously ok and it never got way too bad. And i’m still me lol.
No you are not stupid. I was in a relationship for 18 years 2 beautiful kids with him and thank God it's been 4 years since I said goodbye I even drove him to the train and left them there🙂 I'm so glad and feel better. still trying to build myself up it's not easy🙏🏻🙏🏻
When you change everything who you are to walking on eggshells to please the narcissist to avoid shame, guilt, and anger is the moment you aren’t doing it right and need to leave. That’s not love, it’s control.
Lately i been learning alot about narcissist, trauma bonds, domestic violence towards men and it has opened my eyes. I couldnt believe how spot on alot of the stuff ive been reading or listening to was. I left her after 7 years and now i fear for our Daughter and her son.
Being in a relationship with a narcissist is like plugging yourself into another person’s life and never being able to unplug. Sucking the life and any sense of identity out of you. I was so relieved to get off the emotional roller coaster. I experienced the addiction “trauma bonding” to the narcissist... it was so crazy because they did something wrong to me and I attempted a breakup-then I felt lost and wanted them back even though they were the problem.
I gave them 3 chances and at my last straw I told them I was done with them and ghosted them...I blocked them and they called and called left texts and voicemails but I ignored them all. I did listen to a few voicemails (they went from pleading to questioning to desperate and for the final act hinting at potential self harm. I didn’t fall for any of it. I was free and I could breathe without someone taking up every second of my day.
I feel every single thing you've said and living it too, with my daughters dad. I feek sucked dry. And still find myself not wanting to have this life anymore, but not ready to see him moving on with someone else. And thats so toxic And Im ashamed of myself for feeling that way. Hes walked out and abandoned me so many times I literally have lost count. Im so glad you got out. Im next
Nicole Sugrue I’m so glad to hear that my experience resonated with you. You’re worthy of better treatment and loyalty. Someone that’ll care for you and nourish your soul. Someone that moves in and out of your life only ties you deeper into the toxicity of the relationship. The pain of leaving this person is temporary-but the pain of staying can last forever. It’s better to hurt then heal than continue to experience the hurt continuously with no end in sight. I’m praying for a light to guide you out.
Thank you so much. Seeing this video last night and seeing your experience really stuck with me. Be well❤❤
@ashley grant Thank you for comment. What you wrote really resonated with me. I understand what you're saying about feeling a loss when you attempt a break up and admire that you were able to finally and permanently shut the door on the narcissistic who kept trying to come back in. I just broke up with my boyfriend who was a narcissist and am breathing a huge sigh of relief. I will continue to stay strong and firm in my resolve and not go back to him. We're done. I deserve to be treated better, like an equal partner, not someone else's emotionally abused slave. Breaking free from a narcissistic abuser starts with recognizing your inalienable right to life, liberty and the pursuit of your own happiness.
Long Live Liberty Yes yes and yes! Heavy on the “right to life” part! The first step to freedom is breaking away. Now it’s time for internal love from oneself and nurturing the soul that has been drained. Self reflection is essential in these moments. One doesn’t realize how much they tolerate until the mind is breaking down and the emotions are scattered...and unfortunately the person that should be a comforter and a listening ear is the one causing the mental turmoil.
This made me cry a lot. I wasted a decade to this and am struggling to recover.
I gave almost 6 years of my life to a man i now realize was a covert narcissist. I am in the process of recovery, it has been the hardest struggle of my life (in the midst of a pandemic, no less). you aren't alone. sending strength and healing your way... "a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step"
I have 15 yrs wasted. It took over a year to get to the point of watching these kinds of videos without crying or feeling angry (at myself). The "but why?!" has finally been answered and the answer is...there is no good answer. A narc does these things. They would have done it to anyone who would allow it. They will do it to the next person. And there's nothing you can do about it but HEAL YOURSELF. I will still have to deal with him on occasion but there is a huge shift in my soul when I do. The anger rages inside when he is near. The anxiety is sky high. But when he leaves it feels like the discard all over again. The difference between then and now is that it only lasts a few minutes until I realize I don't want a man like him...ever again.
Same here. Its been 8 years. I'm trying to get away but I have to figure out a plan first. I have 4 kids so it's not that easy.
Me too, 16-25!
I just got out of a 14+yr relationship Losing myself, I'v been disabled with No income & a 13yr old Son , You are not Alone and My Dm's are open & I opened a @Nailingabuse for education & support.
I'm doing a D.V. Awareness GiveAway💜 2020 & Collaboration!!
Every word i feel.. i feel completely drowned with depression and anxiety being in this relationship. I don't know how much I can tolerate. Just for my kid I am pushing my boundaries.
I have some of these types in my family. The way this disorder blinds them to their own behavior...I was tired of being in the blast zone of every outburst. Nothing was every their fault. Always scheming to get out of being held accountable. It's been a great decade without them!
I was avoiding this video for so long because I didn’t want to hear what I already knew and felt in my soul. I’ll forever be grateful for this!
I hope you find the strength and resolve to grt out
May be the way I talk , iPhone picks it up and shove this video in my face
I hope your journey will lead you to a better place in life. I'm trying to do the same.
My ex-partner stopped by a few weeks ago to "we need to talk about our relationship" at me, which was weird because we haven't really been _together_ for years. She yelled at me, I cried, she yelled more, she made a bunch of accusations, and eventually she left. And her phone has voice commands enabled. The next day, youtube started recommending videos to me about dating narcissists. So I clicked a few, and ... a ton of things about our relationship finally make sense.
Did you stop your behavior?
Omg same
This explains why I had a psychological breakdown last summer and ended up in a psych hospital because my soul couldn’t take anymore abuse from other ppl
I hope you are doing well now, Zoe
We hope this video helped! Who does this video remind you of? And what do you plan to do next to heal from the situation?
That is the worst of it-the sane victims are made sick from the perpetrator’s crazy mind games. I hope you will have a beautiful future free from abuse.
@classyt20f7 stfu and stop smoking crack
Hang in there Zoe. Its hard to be a sensitive soul in a harsh world. Try to focus on one beautiful thing in the world everyday. If you can manage just one it can keep hope alive. A puppy, a flower, a piece of fabric, a cloud, rain drops against glass. When i feel dark i try to focus in a thing of beauty. People are often hurtful but color of a crayon the setting sun or the smell of clean laundry can only bring joy.
I suffered two before i found out what it was. The first my mother who nearly took my life, she destroyed me so profoundly that by the time i was just 15 i tried to take my own life. The second my first husband, so incredibly abusive, i didnt recognize myself by the time we split, he brought out the worst in me, i finally said NO I DONT NEED YOU OR NEED TO PUT UP WITH YOUR ABUSE! No need, enjoy ur loneliness, 20 years later hes still lonely and cannot figure out why everyone runs away soon as they feel how toxic he is
Thanks! This video seriously helped me a lot. It describes exactly what I have been experiencing for the last year or so...
My last 2 exes were narcissists. I felt like I was acting out of character and they definitely brought out the worst in me.
You're very pretty ✨👩✨
How did you manage to get out of it
Please help me out
@@sanjeevsingh9500 I'm sorry you're going through this right now =(. What helped me leave the toxic relationships is that I finally put my foot down and had enough. I was constantly having panic attacks and felt like a zombie. I knew this was not how I wanted to live for the rest of my life. It took a courage, but I decided to love myself more than I loved them and respect myself. It felt weird, but I learned to be selfish and put myself first.
@@AmandySue thank you for replying...
I hope I too find some courage....
But the thing is I am facing some problems in my professional life also, leaving my gf may aggravate my misery. But still I am looking for ways to end this.
"Just walk away" as if finances don't get entangled. Shit gets messy, bridges are burned and there is not really anyone else who cares after a while. Just leaving is easier said than done.
Nobody talks about this as much !! You can’t always just walk away
@@Ryasyd absolutely and extremely relatable , constantly scared your making the wrong decision based off of mental health as well , it sucks and is such a sad vicious cycle I hope you find your opportunity out ❤️
And the amount of insecurities i have with myself i just think no one could love me after
@@sleepy_cinnabun of course there is someone out there just waiting on you to turn up. But you can’t, because you are still with your narcissist.
Work on yourself, healthy living, fitness, good food. No alcohol no cigarettes no drugs. New clothes haircut shoes.
Especially if its your parents
Thanks for spending the time to create and share this content awareness 🙏🏾
With me it was my mom. Walking away from her was the best choice i ever made, and i wish i did it far sooner.
It’s really hard to identify when you’ve grown up with narcissists that aren’t physically abusive and only mildly mentally and emotionally abusive because you think it’s normal until you realize how unsatisfying it is and what you’re missing.
Read my story. If you still have them in your life, try to speak to them calmly and tell them that you love and/or care for them. If they continue to think it's all your fault, you will find the strength in yourself to say goodbye. It hurts, yes, but that pain is nothing to the pain you'll have if you stay. I hope life is good to you🙂
I understand this. My mother is a narcissist. She rarely apologizes for anything and usually after a fight, the next day she pretends it never happened instead of apologizing. She guilt trips by saying that "It's always my fault,. It's always the mother's fault" whenever something upset her. She (still) constantly complains about how much she hate our house and when she gets really angry, she slams cupboard doors, sometimes breaking them, and slams doors while yelling. She constantly blames her problems on everyone else. Saying how my father is the reason why we live in the house that we do. Basically making my father a scapegoat for practically everything. Or when I was a kid, blaming me for making her mad. Or when she would get mad, she'd say "no wonder you have no friends" or "no wonder you don't have a boyfriend".
I sadly still live with my parents currently. I also have depression and anxiety. But I'm working and trying to save up to move out. But I do understand being attached to them. It's a cycle of her being nice for a few days or weeks, then out of nowhere, she's angry and everyone and everything and starting fights and saying horrible nasty things about myself or others. And I constantly feel drawn back even after the hurt she's put me through. I hate it but I also realize I might still have this problem even when I move out. Where I'll want to call her and talk to her. And tell her things I didn't originally want to tell her. Until she hurts me again. And the cycle continues
@@Pinky-nc7ml good luck, love x.
@Pinky 365 I’m in a somewhat similar situation but nowhere close to as bad. My mom tries to be aggressive, assertive, dominant, blame things on me and my dad, even things that don’t make any damn sense and couldn’t have possibly happened. As much as I’m nervous about it, I pray to god I’ll get to college and can maybe start cutting ties
Pinky 365 They say depression is nature’s way of letting you know your boundaries have been crossed. Also in Reiki they talk about cutting the cords- It’s a real thing that they’re sucking your energy but you don’t have to be mad about it - just cut them off and take care of you. You can see them like the species that they are- low and inferior to you. Respect them for that and move on in kindness. Cant change stupid but you can stop pretending you are as dumb 💖✌🏼
My mother has done every single one of these. All this time I thought I was crazy
Same but my dad
That's what they want you to think.
It sucks bc u love them so much but they are so damaging to your life
@@vanessagarcia8059 yes so true
My mom as well. She made a scene for the silliest thing in the world.
I’m just now learning that my dad is and these videos are helping me understand myself and him so all I can say is thank you