I'm a Mother with Schizophrenia | Answering your questions!
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- čas přidán 10. 11. 2022
- Parenting is a challenging experience no matter your circumstance, but when you're a parent living with schizophrenia, it can pose an even greater challenge. In this video, I answer questions submitted by you, our audience, about what parenting, and specifically being a mother, is like while living with schizoaffective disorder.
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My mom passed away in September 2022. She had schizophrenia. She was not in my life and I was raised by my grandparents. Throughout her life she refused to get help and had a constant battle with taking meds. She suffered all of her life. She’s in a better place now. I don’t have any hard feelings towards her. She had a hard life. If anything I am grateful she gave me to my grandparents because they were the best role models I could have ever dreamed of. ❤
@@stephaniec5639 today was her birthday🥹just got this notification🫶🏼
I’m very sorry to read this, Did your mother pass away due to complications from her schizophrenia?
@@wonderwoman5528 she was scared of doctors and hospitals due to paranoid schizophrenia and I think that played a major role in her decision to bypass treatment and let herself go to cancer. Had she seeked medical attention and help years before during so many of her episodes I have no doubt she would be here today. She had end stage vulvar cancer which is very highly treatable unless it metastasizes. She let it go and it will be one year since she passed in a couple months. Schizophrenia ruined her life in many ways and our relationship suffered greatly as a result.
@@eatmeatnmove I’m so sorry. That is such a recent bereavement for you, and hard to process with the complications from her illness. I can imagine the turbulent relationships you must have had. I’m so sad that she couldn’t have the treatment she needed. I hope you are getting grief counselling and support to help you
I'm very sorry for your loss and your mother's traumas and effects on your life. ❤
My husband's mom was schizophrenic she raised one of the most amazing humans ever.
I have schizophrenia since 2018 .I'm married and blessed with 3 kids.i thank God for blessing me with a supportive husband. Watching your video helped me alot I've now accepted that I'm living with mental illness and my meds are helping me alot
@@innocentnkomondemaluleke369 Hi me too I'm from kenya
@@innocentnkomondemaluleke369 I was diagnosed 2021 I'm married and a mother of one
@@innocentnkomondemaluleke369does your medicine are lifelong or you completely recovered
@@innocentnkomondemaluleke369every person scizophrenia is different some recovered completely and some dosnt.. symptoms also some people have severe symptoms and some have recovered after taking medicine
I am a father of three and now a grandfather. I so relate to your story here. My grand daughter is 15 and recently diagnosed. I myself was diagnosed at 19. I understand your fears of losing your children and know it is much harder on a mother. God bless you lady. GOD BLESS
Diagnosed with what?
@@Burevestnik9M730 schizoafective disorder
@@Burevestnik9M730 schizophrenia
My best friend was diagnosed at 18. She’s 20 and truth be told yes she still feels hallucinations but it’s gotten better with medicine. I’m grateful she included me in her journey.
God bless you too Micheal for the life you are living and continue to live
I had a uncle who had schizophrenia. He was the best father ever!! Even though the mother of their children left. He did the very best for them. He was always there. From the very beginning. 💚💚💚
On the 2nd question, I got a vasectomy specifically for this reason. I never considered that I might be a particularly equipped parent to help them if I did pass this illness down.
A lot of people refuse to believe that having mentally handicap or special needs children/genetic disorders they know about ahead of time cripples society.Who cares if your parents love you?,What good is that gonna do if you're dead from suicide,in jail,in psychiatric hospitals most of your life,or have deviant behavior as a result of these disorders?
As a child of a parent on the same spectrum, It fills me with so much joy that you have an open dialog with your children at a young age.
My mom didn't tell me until I was 15 but obviously I knew something was different about her compared to other moms. Her medication kept her symptoms in check all my life untill I turned 16 when she had to be hospitalized for 6 weeks. I still didnt really understand what her illness ment and that was really traumatic
She tried to protect me from her reality, but I really wish I knew at an earlier age so I could have had tools to cope and understand. Instead I was told she had bad weeks of not having energy to do housework and cooking because of her tinnitus, but she was infact trying to cope with voices overwhelming her.
My mom was a good mom, a single parent and she did her best with the tools she had and worked hard to make sure we had everything we need and tried to keep us out of her disease
Honestly my experience knowing my mom was sick at a young age was very traumatizing and very scary and the isolation in the 90’s was very difficult
Bless her heart ❤️ and soul 🙏
Yes very scary indeed for many and even deadly for some. I do not feel as though any individual with schizophrenia should be alone as a single parent meaning living alone with children. There absolutely should be another adult in the home. Especially if an individual chooses not to take medication. There are kids who have been stabbed and cooked in microwaves due to having schizophrenic parents and grandparents. My mother has this diagnosis as well so I’m speaking from experience. This should not be taken lightly this is a very serious mental disorder, and we can not ever put kids in harms way . Many parents with schizophrenia do not have the great support system as this very privileged and kind woman making these videos. I’m happy she has that and wish her the best, but that’s not the case for most individuals who have this diagnosis. So I do not advise purposely having kids with this diagnosis, it can be dangerous when you unfortunately have a bad psychosis. And many parents with this illness do include their kids in their delusions. In our family we had a female that begin to believe her baby was a demon. The child thankfully was placed with another family member.
@@pjewellful2012 kids are more likely to be killed by parents who are depressed LMAO so every depressed parent should stop having kids as well. Also, what you are talking about IS POST PARTUM PSYCHOSIS which is NOT EVEN SCHIZOPHRENIA😂 Lastly people without schizophrenia are actually more likely to harm their kids, people with schizophrenia are almost never violence however the media portrays this disorder this way for whatever reason. I've read hundreds of research articles on the matter, these people are more likely to be harmed. Thanks for your unneeded, and incorrect opinion though 😊
My Mom has schizophrenia. She's lived with my Grandparents since not long after she got pregnant with me and has been there since the 1980s. It was a unique childhood. My grandparents were my parents. My Mom was more like a sister and my half sister was more like a cousin(she lived with her grandparents and i didnt see her much) I decided not to have kids and im kind of regretting that. Im a male and in my 30s. So i still could. But I have my own mental health issues and unsure. Glad to see you are doing so well in life. I feel alone sometimes. I've never met anyone in my life not on the internet thats dealt with schizophrenia in any compacity. Nice to see someone succeeding.
I have a son, I lost custody of him when he was two. He now is bipolar and hates me for it. He says he loves me and hates me at the same time. He sees me as having a schizoaffective disorder not being my fault, however, he sees his own mental health challenges as being my fault due to my genetic history. My Mother also has a lot of mental health issues. It's genetic and an ongoing source of guilt when I see my son struggling. He was taken away from me when it was determined that he was unsafe in my care. He grew up with his dad, but in the end, that did not help him avoid the inevitable.
My mother has severe untreated depression and my father has (at the least) untreated bipolar and depression. My grandfather had schizophrenia. I have Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar I, and ADHD. I definitely do not want to be alive. I do blame my parents for having me bc I have to suffer from all these issues (most of which were genetic.) I feel bad for blaming them, but I really think they shouldn’t have had kids.
Genetics are so unpredictable! Of course there was a risk that your son would have something but you couldn’t know for sure, and it is understandable that you wanted a child even though you have a disorder. Don’t blame yourself too much, it’s really not going to help… The best thing you can do is to be here for him and to help him.
@@stuff1784 sorry you suffer so deeply hope you can find peace somewhere in life ❤
Have you seen the work of dr Gabon mate? His viewpoint on genetics vs life coping mechanism is wonderful! It might make a good reading for this audience
@@stuff1784sweetie it is beautiful you made it into this life! You can do it!! They made you with love… please try to see the positives you can do it! You are enough and strong xxxxx
My ex have schizophrenia and I always wanted to understand what he experienced , heard, saw , thought and felt while he was having an episode so I could help somehow and not make things harder for him. I learned for his expressions , voice, look and moves when he was overwhelmed and distracted so I used to ask him a lot about these things and luckily he was very open and honest . I eventually learned how to calmed him down and be a support rather than a burden.
Thanks! Your videos mean sooooo much to my family and myself.
Thank you for your support Mike!
❤ I don't have money.. but If I had I love to help.. Because no-one can't understand me in my country
Cheering you on Lauren! Great job articulating your experiences. 🙂Thank you for your transparency and bravery!
Lauren, every time I watch one of your videos I’m inspired by how well you manage your mental health and your daily life. You are clearly smart articulate and want to help us understand this illness better. I applaud you for answering all the tough questions and not shying away from them. Rob you’re a wonderful partner and supporter. Blessings to you and your family for all you’re doing to help shine the light on a misunderstood illness that many fear. Thank you to all your doctors and supporters for helping you put this information out there. It has helped many I know including myself, who doesn’t struggle with schizophrenia but with anxiety and depression. Keep up the good fight all of you. We need your voices! God bless you. ❤
As a mom with mental health problems. I can totally understand your points and advice. I took a lot from this but didn't realize I do need to speak with my children and let them know of my mental health. Sometimes I want to protect them and shield them from it but it is better to guide them and have them understand. Much light and love to you ✨️ 💛
I love you! I live with schizoaffective disorder and complex ptsd. Your videos give me hope that I can live normal and things will be ok. Thank you. ❤
I can see it she is a good mother the way she talks about the children.
Thank you for sharing this! You are amazing ❤
The children being a protective factor is so true. I completely believe that if I didn't have my kids, I wouldn't be here. Any time I have those urges, my brain tells me how much it would hurt them and I just can't. I go from wanting to do the thing to wanting to just hold them. All of the professional help I've sought and growth I've made has been to be a good and safe mom for them. Their presence in my life has really helped to reign myself back in whenever my mind tries to take me somewhere else.
Awwwwww!! I've never personally wanted kids, but this comment is SO damn beautiful!! All the best to you, and to them.
I have the utmost respect for you in having this position for your children. I myself lost my mother to her illness six years ago which has changed me in ways that I now have parts of me that feel unfamiliar. The biggest loss however has been for my daughters, in loving their most beloved granddaughter. Seeing them grow into themselves has now become bittersweet for what she gave up on and at my lowest points, I feel so angry she never opened to receiving help which has now made my precious daughters (as well as me), statistically more at risk which I don't know that I'll ever be able to accept.
Although I struggle with a different illness I completely agree that having children gives a great strength to us when we are struggling.
you did all the right things, you really thought it through and took inventory of yourself before making a decision that far too many put so little thought into. If you really want to be a parent and have done this work on yourself honestly, and have committed to take responsibility for it, and have love as your reason for having a child, then you are a great parent, with or without schizophrenia.
You are honestly wonderful practical ❣️🙏 and adorable 😘😍. I love you for coming out to dispell what ever fears people may have. Continue being great
Thank you for this video, it is also very interesting to hear you talk about your life and how you and your partner function. ❤
God bless you ❤
I'm glad you guys have found each other. I have mental health issues and due to that, my chances of finding someone are extremely low. Being intelligent, caring, and kind, I have found that the last thing I need to get over is the loneliness. Or rather, I need to adjust to the fact that this world is a place where a person who is all these things and has worked on being can be totally worthless to others. It always makes me happy to see people who have been lucky enough to find each other and make it work. It's not something anyone should ever take for granted.
My mom has schizophrenia and my dad opted out of it when I was 13. When watching the movie about Nobel prize winning Nash and his wife I realised a partner who sticks to you and supports you must be a huge difference when you have mental health issues. So I think you should not give up. I am sure there is someone out there who will value you for who you are, the way you are.
@@eszterszecsi2804 I think my chances have passed, if not only because I find it difficult to put in any effort anymore. I have been run down so to speak, so I think that for me it is too late. But if you still have hope, nothing that is up to you is impossible, and one should always stick to that.
just wanted to take a moment to let you know that you can absolutely still find someone. my boyfriend and myself have various mental health issues and despite that he is unwavering in his support and care of me, and me to him. sure mental health issue symptoms can make things difficult sometimes if we aren't feeling well, but we do our best to be understanding of each other
@@olive_99 As it happens, I thought I would give it one last hail Mary. I am speaking with two people. They're nothing official at this time. The other person I have yet to even see, but I'm still unsure that my circumstance will not have a negative effect, or, whether they end up being horrible people, looking for someone to abuse, which is what usually happens to me personally. I have had one relationship that was incredible, but I was already too broken to enjoy it, and I broke down and we had to end it. She however was extremely young, so she gave me a chance because of that I would imagine. She could have done "better", although I got the feeling that she didn't need better in any other way than what I could give her. It was my one chance, and I blew it.
This time though, I am armed with at least a little bit more knowledge than ever before. I have managed to say no to at least a few people that weren't going to be good for me. The latest one I said no to kickstarted an extremely traumatic chain of events. This is not great, because now I have to not only fear if something goes wrong in a relationship, but if something goes wrong when I say no. In these situations, it's already too late once you have began speaking to someone. Men can be directly violent, women however send men to attack men, which is possibly even worse. It's not easy being at the bottom of the entire society, especially, when you yourself don't want to act out on other people and so on. Basically no one cares what happens to you, and this means that people will directly destroy you, or, will sit and watch you being destroyed, since what difference does it make?
But thank you for your words, and I am truly happy that you two have found each other. Like said in the original post, this does not happen easily, and you should hold on to each other for dear life if you are good for one another, even if it can and will sometimes be a bit of a ride for sure.
Thank you so much for this video. You are such an amazing women and so self aware. You know yourself so well and I love how well thought out and articulate you are. My father n law had schizophrenia and he was never really around for my husband. He also had a gambling problem. You seem so normal. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you are different. Especially those therapist. I have major anxiety for few years where I was debilitated. And each time I talk to therapist they would always tell me my Brain is different. Well screw them! Everyone is different, screw being normal!
You are a wonderful communicator.......wishing you the best _
So the lesson is awareness when it happens or being able to protect others from the symptoms. Awareness is really important
I am an aunt with schizophrenia and I care about my niece and my three nephews. If I had the chance, I would adopt or marry a man with children. But I have a male friend with no daughters or sons. Congratulations on being a mom. You seem to have a great predisposition. I like how Rob complemented you on being a great mother. I guess that I am not a mom is because people didn’t want me to. I have rested a long time during Covid and I feel better. Watching your podcasts are helpful.
I'd like to become a mum someday and I have schizoaffective disorder and ptsd. This video has given me a beacon of hope that I can have children and be ok someday. I'd love to donate but I'm currently on benefits. Thank you for shining a light on this. I've had people tell me that I shouldn't work with children as a nursery teacher when I was recovering and it was heart-breaking for me to deal with comments like that when I'm a victim of child abuse and have severe trauma.
I’m new to this channel & am impressed by it, even though it has no direct relevance to me (or anyone I know). I saw your comment & thought I’d recommend another channel I discovered recently: “Crappy Childhood Fairy.” I wish you well in your healing journey :)
My husband has schizoaffective disorder, bipolar disorder, and major depressive disorder.
All I can say is it's been hell being married to him because he's on and off his medications, and he gets offended when I ask if he's taken his meds or even when the last time was he took them.
When he takes his meds the day is peaceful and calm, but I can tell right away if he has not because he can be the most angry, enraged, and mean person I've ever seen.
I’m so sorry you have to go through this. I hope you are doing okay.
You need to give him a ultimatum to take his meds
I have a mental illness. I chose to have a sterilization. Mental illness is HELL ON EARTH. I can't believe that a person who, at times , loses contact with reality, who is hospitalized occasionally for the disease and contemplates suicide is bringing a child into the world I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy even less on my own children I hope the child is healthy and if it doesn't have schizophrenia and if it does! It doesn't
have a psychotic episode at the same time as the mother
I have to agree with you, unfortunately. It is hereditary from what i understand. I knew a schizophrenic young man, his father was schizophrenic. This was a loving, gentle boy who never got it under control, was hospitalized numerous times and, last i heard, was living on the streets. He might be dead now for all i know. It was an absolute tragedy and i wouldn't wish it on any human being.
The probability is 6,5%
@@dreamsofturtles1828it is not hereditary at all. People have more chances to develop schizophrenia if they have a first degree relative who is affected by the illness. It’s a probability and it is very low actually. It’s 6,5%. The scientists believe that it displays as a result of a combination of both genetic and environmental factors.
VERY BRAVE delivering a important message.
Lauren Im so glad I found you my late brother and mother (both have passed) have this. Before you I havent seen recovery they never took meds. My kids are adults (one almost 20 and one 25) I was always so scared they would get it as it presents in the 20s with most people but seeing you be so successful gives me hope if they do. Im also a nurse and most of my schizophrenic patients are non compliant so good for you. (Im a critical care neuro nurse).
Side note on the video of you being hospitalized Im so sorry the nurses treated you that way. I have never worked in psych but have had many patients with illness and would never treat any of them the way they treated you
I have deep respect to her she is so intelligent beautiful and wonderful women mum she has a great heart and power I hope she will be so happy and better every day
Stress is a big factor in bringing mental issues to the surface. I have not been formerly diagnosed with schizophrenia. I am afraid of the world's view about this illness. I do have depression and anxiety disorder plus being bipolar. I have a doctor that I trust completely but I am still apprehensive about discussing this word and it being schizophrenia. Your videos have made it a lot easier in communication toward discussing this problem. Thank you.
I have been living with this illness for almost ten years and have thought about having kids. At first, I was adamantly against it, partly because I didn't have a stable support network to help me raise them and partly because I didn't want to pass down my laundry list of mental problems to them. It's not so much that I don't want to have kids, it's more an ability and ethics problem for me.
I have a CPTSD with very bad depression and anxiety, and I’m in a similar state of mind as you are. You’re not alone!
Do not have children, you are passing on a ten percent chance for them to develop your illness. Schizophrenia is predominantly genetic.
I really needed to see this.
I’ve been struggling greatly with my desire to have kids but feeling like I wouldn’t be fit due to how my mother raised me.
I realize now that she and I have two completely different skill sets and I want to have kids for the right reasons unlike her.
Wish you the best
Passing on a serious genetic disorder is cruel to a child.
I had no idea you were a mother. Congratulations and good job! I can't even imagine. I am childless. The strength you have is inspiring! I won't ever have children, but godspeed to you and thank you (for continuing the human race when so many of us are opting out).
don't kid yourself Hailey; there aren't THAT many of us that are opting out.. 😬😬
@@kitkat615 You're right. My perception is altered, I think. I'm one of 11 cousins all over 25-years-old, and 9 of us are childless. Especially at the holidays when we're all together it seems like a general phenomenon. There are basically no kids. It does make family parties really fun though.
@Hailey Wynn wow I wish it was like that in my family. I literally didn't go to our Xmas gathering because there's too many / our family has gotten so big
Thank you for continuing the propagation of mental illness. You are out of your mind also! Schizophrenia is hell on earth and is 80% hereditary .Extremely selfish to have a child when you are severely mentally ill
You are a wonderful loving mother and partner !
I think you know how to help yourself and find help or awareness. I wish everyone should do the same. Because this society sometimes does not have the time to understand the illness. They always shrugged it off and will not give space. Education in vlog is empowerment. The society is so discriminating but with education one day just 1day the society will be accepting and embracing. Moreso SUPPORTING or supportive.
My father is schizophrenic, with personality disorders, and he is a far more loving and compasionate parent than my mother who is bipolar and has chronic depression lol I never understood why people always asume the best of 'normal people' and the worst of schizophrenics
Schizophrenia doesn’t make you loving and compassionate, in the same way that bipolar and depression doesn’t make you an as**ole. A mental illness doesn’t make you a better or worse person. That’s a daily decision.
@@mariamatmos4506 couldn't agree more. even if it sounds condescending the way you have worded it lol I don't believe that was your intention though
I actually hear a lot more negativity about bipolar disorder, which I have. I'm always worried about the effect my mental health has on my family.
The reason I say this is that I've seen a degree of sympathy from people towards some symptoms of schizophrenia that I haven't seen towards bipolar disorder. Many people associate schizophrenia with hallucinations and psychosis, and thus tend to have some sympathy towards schizophrenic people for that reason. These same people don't tend to associate things like hallucinations and psychosis with bipolar disorder, even though those with the disorder can have those symptoms (like myself). So all they see are the extremes in mood, and not the psychotic symptoms someone with bipolar might be experiencing.
@@Satellite_Of_Love true
The way she speaks sounds so intelligent.
My mother had schizophrenia. She had a couple break downs before I was born but my dad was able to get her treatment. After they changed the laws against involuntary commitment, he could no longer commit her. She refused to take medication. When I was 7 she ran away with me. Once my dad found me, he had had enough and divorced her. For most of my life I was angry at my mom for refusing to take medication. She passed away last year around the same time that I had finally forgiven her and accepted who she is. She of course didn't tell anyone she was sick, so I did not get to say goodbye. It was very hard on me having a mother with schizophrenia, but it was probably even harder on her having the illness. Nevertheless, I have OCD and anxiety, which I take medication for. So, my mental health for whatever reason did not turn out all that great. No schizophrenia though thank god.
Like that Rob very much does his part of raising the children, including 'new baby nightshift'. This should be normal, as children come with two parents. It's a shame that many parents don't share the load in this way. Also great that the co-parents do their share and see raising the children as a group project.
Every case of schizophrenia is different. Like my psychiatrist said, every person's brain is different and as such, every person with schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder reacts differently to various stresses in their life. Lauren has managed very well with her illness. But, of course, not every person with the above conditions is going to fare as well. What I found to be really important is to try, if possible, to avoid major stresses in your life, which can bring on attacks of psychosis. Also, having a good support system around you is really important in managing your psychiatric condition.
Thanks for answering my question
Great episode.
Danke!
My mom was my advocate and she has schizophrenia. As I have grown older, I realize incrementally, how vast her empathy was for us and the care and consideration she had as well. I think she struggles with the stigma, and my father did not help at all with it. He was not the man she needed.
Lauren is very lucky that she has her husband Rob in her life, who seems to be a very supportive person. The people with schizophrenia that I know have been single for a long time, as their illness prevents them from being able to have a successful marriage.
Yes parenting is a learning curve and feeding a baby over night for parents unfortunately can't afford to be a patreon but feel your videos are beneficial to people I don't want to post publicly is there anyway I can contact you personally Rob and you?
As a fellow schizoaffective I have a supportive partner and this video makes me want to have children even more, I know my strengths but through it all I know everything will be okay.❤
From a fellow young mother: how do you talk to other moms at playgroups and such? I'm desperate for mom friends and friends for my 2 year old but I just can't relate to any of them and I'm scared to be 'real'. Sometimes I meet nice women but I'm too distracted by my symptoms to make a real connection. What do you do?
I don’t think there is a right or wrong way to make friends so it’s however you feel most comfortable doing so 💕
I can relate to this 1000% I have OCD- intrusive thoughts and compulsions and I find parenting hard, exhausting and draining at time and It is really hard to find other mums that can relate. It’s a lonely road.
I have schizoeffictive disorder and i wont allow my daughter to be in my life to protect her. Its very complicated. But i still love my daughter. Yes i pay for her to live. Im not a deadbeat dad. Just opposite.
I owe you big apology!!! After watching you for the first time, I made wrong assumptions that all 3 kids are your biological. I thought that they lived with substitute parents while you were busy nursing the baby. I felt great compasion and sorrow for them, not knowing that they actually have one biological parent and her partner to care for them.
I feel better knowing that they are taken care well of and that they are lucky to have two set of loving parents. Nothing out of usual except that both parties are doing their best to coparent.
My apologies for inappropriate comment!!!
Your videos are very informative as there is stigma attached to your diagnosis. Knowing more about schizophrenia from person with diagnoses is priceless.
The symptoms of schizophrenia are similar to many mental illness symptoms and that is so good to know. As an autistic person, although not considered MI( but comes with quit a few MI) I can relate to your struggles and challenges.
💓🙏
A talk like this inevitably tends to mention a lot of possible negatives. However, what does come across is how much love and connection you have with your children and what joy and satisfaction they give you. Great to hear how you can have a bit of a cry when you need it and just accept crying as a normal part of life. One of the joys of kids is when they do become teenagers and young adults, there are times when you can just be amazed at the depth of connection and intimacy you have with another person in life.
I've been watching you for so long now. Your honesty, bravery, and openness continues to amaze me. That goes for Rob too. You both share, with the entire world, aspects of your relationship that a lot of people are too afraid to even discuss with their own partner. You voice your thoughts clearly and confidently on topics concerning pregnancy that are somehow still taboo in 2022! I will never have biological children of my own but I watched this anyway because I KNEW that I would still gain a wealth of information from your insight and the way that you and Rob respect and actively listen to each other. Thank you for all of the hard work, beautiful camera work and lighting, and your endless quest to understand yourself and in turn share that with the world.
What urges me and makes me sad that it can be passed down on the Genes im still not 100% sure i have schizophrenia. I would love to have babys sooo much but it just breaks my heart and somehow i dont wanna have because of the genes. What if my babys gonna suffer for forever? I just cant imagine. Much love for this Lady.
You guys are amazing and I so appreciate everything, fine details ect. My daughter has Schizophrenia and I don't really think she will have children, but if she found a Rob that would be awesome!!! You are exactly right about having kids and how it is stressful, you are very intelligent and it seems that you are doing better than most parents!!
Rob like how you support luaren
I think that being a parent I focus more on my kids then myself. So focusing more on what they need instead of all the time worrying about yourself or who’s watching you or who is trying to poison you as my daughter sometimes thinks. Maybe not you. Not every person who has schizophrenia has strong paranoia. My daughter kind of calms down and she doesn’t think about herself as much, Which is helpful to her do you find that serving your children helps you be stronger to handle your schizophrenia because I think being a mother would help you and your children even with this illness I think would help your illness and become more mentally healthy and stronger mentally you to have something to fight for I have to get back to my children if you’re 5150 or something like that I have to take care of them and it would always bring you home. It always bring you to your medicine. It’ll always bring you to treatment because you have to be there because those children ID pending on you to be there, which is a great responsibility and a stress factor when you have schizophrenia but regulated correctly I think it could be very healing and helpful. What do you think?
Wow! You're amazing
You're an awesome human... Sending love from someone with ADHD ❤️❤️❤️❤️
My father was a paranoid schizophrenic. I turned out fine. I do have a bit of anxiety that I believe are environmentally caused and not so much genetically. However I have 3 children who all have issues on a different scale. My middle child who is 24 has bipolar..My oldest has a lot of anxiety… and my youngest who is 20 I fear may have schizophrenia. She sees things hears things. She even called me from the side of the road once saying that her car was shocking her. She felt electric currents running thru her and the car. Systems have slowly been building for the past few yrs.
I don’t know if I would have had children if I knew the stats on schizophrenia. I think it’s 15% chance ur child would inherit the disease. Only because I know how devastating it can be for the person.
I’m sure this is something u and ur partner discussed before having kids…
But how would u feel if u passed the disease on to ur child?
She doesn't care because she's well to do.She also has support in her current state but refuses to see anything other than emotions vs logic on having a baby.
When you say your co-parents look after the kids when you're feeling unwell, does this include your biological son? If not, who looks after him?
It looks like you're living a good life. As a fellow schizoaffective, that makes me happy.
You are very sweet and thank you for being so candid on your channel. It has been helpful to me.
Where did you find such a supportive partner?
lol at Walmart... they keep them in stock in the back.. you just have to ask them ;)
My mother came down with schizophrenia when I was almost 4, right after my brother was born. She had the illness for the next 25 years.
She had it till the day she died.
I have a family member with arthritis and a friend with Crohn’s disease and another who suffers from migraines and all three have flares or more to manage when they are stressed. Even knowing these folks and understanding how stress can completely knock them out, I never realized the same would be true of someone with schizophrenia, it seems to obvious now that you’ve talked about it - not sure why I had this blind spot
She’s amazing. Period. ❤
My woman got this too.. started to believe she doesnt have it and stopped her meds again.. have seen alot when a few times she stopped it before and it can go crazy.. for 3 years it was steady, got pregnant and now she stopped again.. havent seen or spoken to her in 2 weeks cause of delusionals against me and it sucks
Lauren, you're amazing! 🙂🌼🌺🌸🦋
i'm the son of a schizophrenic mother. i found this video because i wanted to find some advice on how to live with it but this does not resemble anything in my life. i never stood a chance. even if i had the opportunity i wouldnt bring another life into this world. it's too cold. i won't tell another human how to act or what to do, but if anyone reading this is affected and you want to have a child, i ask you to please think it through very seriously first. the only goal i have left in my life is to wait for the right time to exit it so i can affect the least amount of people possible when i do that. for every positive result of a difficult upbringing, i think there are at least as many who probably turn out like myself. sorry if this is not a nice comment to read, but i feel like i have to say it
Love all of your videos. Thank you for sharing
can you please have tim dillon on
Thanks for this video!
The first time that CPS came; my Sister-in-Law told us that she would take the boys in so they would not be taken away. This was especially resurring to me since she is Gay and had no experience with children.
When my first son was born, my husband and I were working different shifts. He had to come home in the evenings on several times because I would break down.
The worst thing for them was when I would give them the silent treatment. From my point of view; all they had to do was apologize and I would have started talking to them again.
I'm confused; do you have schizophrenia and you had paranoia/delusions where you wouldn't trust them?
That sounds awful for your children.
as a mom w/ schizo-affective disorder, this video is very validating & it feels good to know there are others out there who experience life like i do. < 3 thank you!
I grew up with a mom that had schizo-affective disorder. although it wasn't always easy, I think a lot of people would describe their childhood/relationship with their parents as not easy. I wouldn't change my experience. Parents with mental illness can still be very capable parents and, in my opinion, can create children that are more aware of mental wellness and not be afraid of mental illness.
Can someone please help how to reduce dose how to make medication of lower dose my dr is not helping he wants me to cold turkey
try talking to other doctors if you can, maybe those with good ratings on google maps (or are you at a clinic? In that case it's certainly not easy. Maybe there's another clinic that's better, idk)
Lovin it
My dad has schizophrenia although he refuses to get treatment. He thinks he's jesus christ in human form and he has no remorse for anybody. He should've been charged with attempted murder but never had the cops called on him. I understand not all schizophrenics are evil though i just wish my dad wasn't
Who are those co-parents? The former partener of Rob and her spouse?
This is an excellent video!
😊
This is so incredible. Thank you. I also want to say, as a child of a parent who struggled with their mental health, seeing my mother taking breaks and communicating with us about it not only helped me learn about respecting those boundaries with others, but also helped make me into a person who could set those boundaries and allow myself to rest. Such an important lesson to learn, and so grateful to her for teaching it to me.
My mom has schizophrenia but she has always reasoned and spoken like a 12 year old 😢❤️🩹 She’s done and said hurtful things to us that has hurt us deeply. I wish she had your level of cognition. I’m 40 now and she is 61. It’s a constant pain seeing her act like a every day. It’s a pain in the heart we carry as a family everyday 💔.
The thumbnail of the video is hilarious.
amazing video :)
You are a beautiful person inside and out. But, here's reality, the added stress of having a baby with other children could cause your mental health to get worse. You will need extra help. It's so hard. You will need your "tribe" to help you stay balanced. Taking care of yourself when you have a newborn AND a child at any age is much harder. Your self care will be so difficult to do unless you have people to help. You will sacrifice your own needs to take care of your children. It's a sacrificial job to be a mom. I know this because I'm a mom with a mental health disorder. I didn't have much extra help. My mental health suffered. The child will, too.
Like I said, I'm just giving you a real life example and experience.
Your life is your own.
Having your own baby stresses your body in so many ways, also.
Good luck and many prayers to you and your beautiful family.⁰
My mom has schizophrenia and she can't say things well and now she just tells me to get stuff for the house nothing else and its really heartbreaking for me as I'm a 13 year old and can't have a normal talk to my mom.whenever I talk to her she says get rice like eight times and then stops and she just moves around the house with her phone but I do have two sisters and the oldest is like a mother figure to me but as she has the power in the house as my dad is mostly gone on business trips so my sis sometimes blackmail me to do something for her or she will take my phone or ps4 and ya for that I hope that my mom gets better and spanks my sis haha 😁✨😊
If I can go back to my 13 self I would say this… your not your moms mom. Don’t take on the responsibility of taking care of your mentally ill mother, & don’t let any family tell you you need too! Stay in school, get good grades, take with your teachers, guidance counselors etc, get into a college & leave far as you can! & make your life! Come visit holidays bday summer etc only, never say you will be caretaking your schizophrenic mother later in the future… because kid let me tell you it will ruin your life like me at 35 now, you will have no life but taking care of your mentally ill mom, feeling depressed without any savings & not able to provide for yourself! So hope you really take this message seriously, because now I was I could go back to being 13 & I would’ve done all this… now I feel like it’s too too late… anyways you take care kid, think about future & put yourself first!
How do u know if u have it I hope I never get it
When he said, "she's a great mom," and then her sweet reaction - I love the care they show for each other. ❤
I don’t want any men in my life. I am asexual. I called the hotline a while ago. This rude woman shouted that she needs to hang up because I mentioned my sexual preference. I wrote something on Quora. I got plenty of responses. I was surprised to see that oh yes you were sexually abused. Maybe in a verbal way. My dad called me sexy, and said he will touch me because it’s fun. Another response was to stop being angry, but it is impossible. It’s going to be a lifelong struggle to get over this abuse. Since I was abused, I doubt that I am mentally ill. Well. I missed a lot of sleep. I slept very little for three months. My psychiatrist constantly told me to go to the hospital. She also told me to gain weight. If you want to understand eating disorders, weight loss has to do with the victim’s loss of control in their lives. Anorexia has to do with calorie counting, to much exercise and wee I have control with my weight and it feels great, but it’s higher destructive. I don’t suggest starvation to keep your father away from you. I believe it worked. My dad might have no longer found me attractive. No one found me attractive. When I was in the hospital, I didn’t want sex because I was vulnerable. I believe there were many vulnerable women in the hospital. I weighed around 126 pounds and I am around 5’8”. That I had a boyfriend. I absolutely hated him. He was weird. He talked about restraints and seclusion rooms, but not about himself being in one. He talked about his girlfriend who died. He was chubby. I asked him if he was ever skinny.
I know you don’t want to hear us praise you for your courage, so I won’t. But I will say as a person Who shares a child with a newly diagnosed schizophrenic mother while living under the same roof together. I have found your willingness to dialogue openly about your experience invaluable! I have no ability to dialogue with this person‘s care team, and anyway thank you for what you’re doing it is truly a lifeline of understanding.
Congratulations on breeding with someone who has a severe mental illness. I'm so glad you decided to pass those genes on.
I'm also a parent with schizoaffective disorder. I have a 10 and 8 yr old. When I was struggling to stabilise we were able to access additional low fee daycare so the kids were safe when my delusions were leading to dangerous behaviour (to myself not the kids). I definitely find the kids are a protective factor for me. When it was just me it was easier to talk myself out of taking meds or participating in treatment. But as my role as parent I 100% cannot do that without ongoing treatment.
As an adult child of someone with schizo-affective disorder, I want to tell you that I think it can be a positive experience. Yes, it can be difficult but has made me grow into an adult that is aware of mental wellness and someone who is comfortable around other people's struggles. I wouldn't change my experience for the world. My mother, with all the faults as any other human, was amazing.
When the kids stay with the co-parents when you're struggling with your mental health, does this include your youngest (the 1.5 yr old)? Btw you are so courageous, articulate, & clearly a wonderful mother ♥️
Semi related question; At what point does the unaffected spouse make the choice to separate from the afflicted spouse for the sake and protection of the children? My spouse has bipolar with both of our kids being on the spectrum. Unfortunately, when the mania sets in, it can create a fair bit of chaos in the house, especially when they decide to self medicate. I worry about the long term health and well being of the kids. I love my spouse but I won't sacrifice the kid's well being.
I say, never compromise your children’s safety! If your spouse is willing to get counseling to manage his symptoms, along with medication, which it sounds like he does, and is still having mania, etc… maybe meds need changed… but that takes persistence and a very dedicated love that must go both ways, this journey is not easy! If your effected spouse will not work with you for the better of himself, the family, then I’d say especially if this is causing an unstable environment for the children, then you might have to consider finding an agreeable separation at least until there is change. Hopefully this helps alittle.😊
this iis YOUR situation. you are assuming lauren is chaotic and a danger to her kids😂😂 their situation is NOTHING like yours so they can't answer your question. all the best to you though
It is a good question overall to get several perspective
If you have any kind of handicap in life, but you have a healthy brain, you can find a way to cope with it. But when you have a sick brain (such as schizophrenia, which is the worst mental illness that a person can have) It makes life miserable not only for the person who is affected by it but for all the people around that person. To decide to have children on top of that when you know it is 80% hereditary is outrageous and selfish.
thanks for sharing this
Thanks!
I think that it is important to remember that the symptoms of schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder do not really manifest themselves until the person has reached adulthood. Statistics have shown that men aren't formally diagnosed until about their late teens to early twenties and women slightly later, in about their late twenties to early thirties. That can make it hard for a parent to realize that their young children may become schizophrenic later in life. I just hope and pray that Lauren's children do not develop the illness later on in life, because their is a definite genetic correlation between parents with schizophrenia and their children.
You sound like an amazing mom.