My Postpartum Experience
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- čas přidán 13. 07. 2022
- I always thought that I was doing really well postpartum. But that perhaps wasn't acknowledging the whole truth, and the challenges and struggles I actually faced. Upon reflection, my postpartum experience was more difficult than I had thought, and I share more on that in this video.
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Thank you very much for your testimony Lauren. I am a young woman suffering from bipolar disorder with psychotic features and I would like to have children. Your videos really help me to figure out how it is and I'm sure it helps a lot of women who are struggling to not feel ashamed. Hope you and your family are doing well!!
I appreciate you sharing Lauren. My husband and I decided not to have any children. I am now 47 and experiencing hormone changes with perimenopause and have relapsed recently with psychosis as trying to do too much yet again whilst this change in life is happening too! It is certainly a life-long learning curve with this illness.
I feel you there, I'm 34 now and always had issues with sudden life changes and hormones causing my psychosis to act up and last year I decided to not have my own children. I mean, many things go into that decision but yeah.
Yep. I stuck with cats and I am so glad I did 🙏🏻
@@wired4933 if you wanna have kids, choose your life partner very wisely, and have your kids. It may be very hard, but it will come with a lot of joy too. That's just life.
Medical technology has been evolving at a very fast pace thanks to the pandemic and so new treatments are being developed all the time.
Just don't allow yourselves to miss out on the stuff you want. Because if you do, the depression is much, much worse.
You, your family and your husband are just wonderful and this channel is so helpful to so many people. Your experience with your baby and other children are similar to what many go through postpartum problems but you have the additional factor of your illness. But how fortunate and brilliant you are to be able to
Use your experiences by starting this channel to help you get through your difficult time. It is so complicated but you are doing a great job
I struggle with anxiety, racing repetitive thoughts and depression. Your channel has helped me deal with my mental illness so much and has helped me to get rid of the shame of dealing with mental illness. I'm 59 and have struggled my whole life but 30 years ago no one was talking about mental illness. I have two grown children and I remember crying so much during my first pregnancy. I was in an abusive relationship and had no one to talk to. I always wanted children and I felt shame feeling so sad and crying because I was supposed to be so happy. I'm so happy we are more open to talk about mental illness today and I'm glad there's so much information available. I appreciate your videos thank you for always being so honest. Your baby is so cute!
I am 47 and first fell ill in 1992. It is great how ‘we’ are now advocating for ourselves.
As someone with Depression and Anxiety this is brilliant channel keep up the great work.
I interviewed someone who experienced post-partum psychosis. The process is never easy. You’re a brave woman Lauren! Thanks for all you do :)
I had postpartum psychosis.
@@BeingBetter that must have been difficult for you
@@layotheleprechaun Very. And for my husband as well.
I am in Scotland my local member of our parliament was a nurse dealing with postpartum psychosis before becoming a politician. In government was appointed to be our Minster of Mental health. Mental health needs to be talked about more to break people's ideas about mental illness. Everyone has mental health and not being ok is ok. Take Care Stay Safe.
When I was pregnant with my first, I remember my therapist told me becoming a parent is by far the biggest stress that I will have to endure most probably in life so I need to be very careful. It wasn’t wrong. The change is huge. Take good care of yourself and pay close attention to the signs you exhibit.
To be fair, many go through maladaptive coping mechanisms in times of stress (with or without schizophrenia) and don't know. There is a risk in overanalyzing elation in your life as hypomania. It is possible that you were both joyful and under stress or maybe it was hypomania. It is the challenge with these illnesses - sometimes it is hard to tell.
I was diagnosed at 11 with OCD and now that my kids are teens, the last year or so my intrusive thoughts about being scared to death that I have failed them as a mother has taken over my life. This comment just made me realize I need to tell my doctor, that my meds need to be adjusted.
@@stayathomecichlidmom3579 talk therapy (psychotherapy) is very successful with OCD. Medicine can take the edge off, but it won't "cure" it. Therapy with the right therapist can enable you to unlock the emotions driving the OCD. I had a compulsion for years and had no idea why. I believed it was chemical because that is the overall view in modern psychology, and honestly it was easier to believe it was chemical than to think it was something I could fix with a lot of inner work and therapy.
My compulsion, however, was eventually cured by breaking through my defenses and dealing with the painful emotion powering it. Once I expressed to an empathic person the fear and sadness of the trauma that caused the compulsion, it was gone. Permanently. This happened years ago and it never returned. Medicines just can't fix depression, OCD, or any neuroses. They can at best make it more tolerable until (or while) we are in therapy. We have yet to find any medicine that will cure or resolve a neurotic disorder. Overall talk therapy or "psychotherapy" has better outcomes than medicine alone.
I don’t have schizophrenia but do have bipolar 1 and experience psychosis. I want to have children but am definitely scared of how I will be able to manage with a serious mental illness. Seeing that youve been able to do it makes me think maybe I can do it too. It also makes me more aware of what to look out for. Thank you!
I had my second child 9.5 mos ago and things were much more difficult for me this time. I found myself feeling grief over the change in relationship with my first, and at the same time feeling triggered and finding myself easy to anger with him. I also had a lot less support from my Mom then during my first postpartum experience. It felt pretty heartbreaking a lot of the time. I began practicing mindfulness almost everyday, spending one-on-one time with my first (who also started nursery a few hours a week so I got a bit of a break), talked about my difficulties with my best friend and husband, regularly attended postpartum fitness classes, and I focused on my faith. I’m so grateful that things got better and better-and now nine months on things feel pretty awesome most days, and I’m able to look for good and not perfection.
algorithm support. I couldn't imagine th medication musical chairs required to go through this. hat is off to you.
I am straight up terrfied of experiencing post partum depression or psychosis, I've lived with chronic anxiety and depression for 21 years and and so scared that having a baby will trigger both of those so badly
Your doing a great job as A mom Lauren. All moms worry about being as good as they want to be. Thank you for being open and honest. 🥰🥰
Here's the thing sis, people are going to try and judge you as a mom whether you have a chronic illness or not, but it's not up to them. It's up to you. Hold your head high, don't let the haters bring you down. You do more good than you know by bringing awareness to this disease. I wish someone had made videos like this when I was a kid so maybe I could have understood my mother better, but honestly there just wasn't much help in the 70s or 80s. Lifting you up and sending you and your family a lot of love, peace, and clarity of mind and soul. Sincerely, the adult daughter of a mother with schizoaffective disorder.
When will people learn not to comment on a person’s body. Period!
It is also okay that you didn’t share all the struggles during and after pregnancy while you were in it.
I was diagnosed with OCD GAD Mood disorder unspecified when I was 11. Always wanted kids but was terrified of postpartum. All 3 of my pregnancies I spent in a fog, I was so bad mentally during my 3rd that for the first few months, I had thoughts of ending my pregnancy. Long story short, with all 3 of my kids, the moment I gave birth and my doctor put my baby in my chest, the black cloud, mental fog, lifted immediately.
My postpartum period with all 3 where the calmest, clearest and content I've ever, to this day have experienced in my life. Something about newborns, babies, the fact that they are innocent people that need you to survive, unlocked my mind from itself. Something I don't think I've ever heard another mother talk about.
I just wanted to say I appreciate you being so completely honest with your experience. While I totally understand where you're coming from and what you're saying, I do want to say that you still were doing "really well". In spite your challenges and difficulties 💜
I listen carefully and attentively to Lauren. She sets An articulate knowledgeable good example.
One thing i am sure of, she makes an excellent mother despite her temporary maladaptive coping , anosognosia and schizophrenia.
Honestly , thats what i like most about Lauren. She has prevailed over it all, functioning better than most people i know. She has done so well.
In fact, i feel proud of Lauren. It is an odd thing to say, because she doesnt even know me, probably , never will.
Lauren has an iconic meaning to me.
She represents a successful heroic struggle against all odds, to me.
If she can make it, perhaps i can make it too.
Bless you. I was a hot mess after baby 1. I think you're a rockstar no matter what ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for sharing!
appreciate you & your videos
Thank you for sharing these insights
Thank you for sharing. ❤
So well said. Thank you for sharing.
Motherhood hit me like a freight train. I was 23 when I had my first baby and I was already going through a pretty bad drug addiction. I got clean for my first and second baby but then I just kinda lost it and got back into drugs even worse than before, started drinking a lot as well and almost lost my kids to it. I thought I was done having kids , even got my tubes tied after my 2nd pregnancy. Then after a few years, to my total shock I somehow got pregnant with my 3rd. I was in total denial at first but once it sank in I got clean for the final time and have continued to do so. It has been hard especially with my husband who got diagnosed with schizophrenia and was having his own problems. He ended his life unfortunately a year after our 3rd was born. I'm struggling now for sure but have managed to stay clean through it all and at least can give myself a pat on the back for that I guess.
I hope you are doing well ❤
Omg girl! You. Are. A Superhero. ❤❤❤ I hope you stay as healthy as possible. I can’t imagine how difficult things must get at times. You are so strong to stay clean under so much pressure! I’m so impressed you can’t imagine and I’m so so sorry you have lost your partner that way. Biggest hugs❤❤❤ you’re amazing. Truly amazing ❤❤❤
you're an inspiration!
Wow. Well expressed experience. Thanks
Thanks!
I so appreciate your channel. It has helped me immensely to understand someone very close to me. Keep up the great work!
Thanks for sharing your experience Lauren. Stay strong and use your community support group. Many eager to help
I always admire your style. 🤍 You're strong. Keep going x
Thankyou Lauren. Such a raw and honest account. I hope you have one more eventually
Hi Lauren. I really enjoy your videos. I don't have Schizophrenia but I really enjoy listening and trying to understand. I have pure OCD (I'm going through a very difficult theme at the moment) and listening to you gives me strength. ☺️
Thanks for Sharing! I also had a Theodor in 2021 😌
Sending love to you and your family. ❤️ Thank you for sharing.
Really interesting and important video. Always amazed at your ability to share these stories. 💚
Thank you for your honesty and for sharing so much of your life journey.
Awe thank you for sharing! I am currently out of one of my antipsychotics and it’s a struggle!
Thank you for your openness. Your videos have already helped me to cope better so many times. Hello from Hannover, Germany
Thank you so much for sharing this!
I think a vast number of folks have struggled with maladaptive coping mechanisms through covid. I don't mean to belittle the pain and the challenges you have experienced, but I hope that you realize that even this "more complete" picture that you are sharing now is INCREDIBLY impressive. I'm super grateful to you for creating realistic representations of what it looks like for you to struggle with maladaptive coping patterns, and I would love more content around these topics in the future.
Thank you for your honesty. Really respect you, your courage & vulnerability ❤️
Just been changing meds suddenly
Man that made a mess of me this first week but gave me greater insight
The first year is HARRRRRRRRDDDDD.
Ýou are so very special, ur really helping me learn and understand so many things, thank you, I love ur hair 🌈
I hope you know how amazing you are! You are truly an inspiration! Your intelligent and beautiful! Thank you for your work!
Hunny, you are human! ♥️🌻
I wanted to say thankyou for being so open and willing to share your experiance with schizophrenia. Haveing a kid has been a very scary topic for me. You tore down that stigma for me today. Big changes are always going to be more difficult with my symptoms but it doesn't mean I can't. Or that I will never have a choice. It just means I need to take care of myself and understand its normal. Just like any one elts haveing a child is hard. It is a lot of change for anyone. I am happy I get to see the love and joy you have for your children. It lets me know that it will be the same for me and that makes it a lot less scary. Thankyou
THANKS L...took me years to understand my owns .....Hugs
You got me with the online shopping. Just realized I'm trying to fill a void
Lauren you’re a wonderful mother to all three of ur kids and ur doing the best u can I’m sorry people online can be so rude! Thank you for another video!
If you see this - I live with severe bipolar disorder and would love to see your thoughts on mania? What it’s like for you?
You know yr a BADASS right?! Thank you for transparency and honesty. I struggle w bipolar and now a similar situation.. and in my 40s.. 😣 ouch. Love yr videos.
It makes sense to be relieved and optimistic when what you were most anxious about didn't happen. It's so generous that you made this video - I am guessing it will help other mothers who might exoerience these things.
Hi Lauren.
I am really moved by how introspective you are. You look deeply into everything and to me that is a very positive thing about you. It's as if you're one step behind watching your reality to make sure your in touch with your actual truth. Seems like work, but so much better than continuing to cope in harmful ways. Thank you for your willingness to be transparent.
I honestly didn't start to feel normal till my daughter was 18 months but we're doing good now!
Life's experience's teach us a lot about how to conduct our life, give yourself some time and try not to label every experience or "difficulty we " encounter , give it time, you got this.
Thank you for your honest reflection. I was in an abusive relationship when I had my child and the memory of the first three months still conjurs up such sadness and tiredness and risk from falling asleep breast feeding. It was so lonely and I was so surprised how much I disliked breast feeding and how completely overtaken I felt by our baby. I had lost me who was already lost. I had family come and stay and they didn't recognize my distress as in an abusive relationship you hide it .... I see parallels with your account Lauren and I appreciate you encouraging us to be more real about our reality. Fortunately our child made me grow into a stronger person, a mother lioness. X
YA know itz something you're going something that you're working working on I'm also going through some stuff 😊 grateful 🙏 thanks for talking
I just have ADHD and PTSD to my knowledge but I’m fairly certain I’d have some sort of post-partum psychosis too. You’re so strong 💙
I always feel such a strong presence of love around you and your situation (I'm sorry if that sounds weird).... Lauren, I know one of your biggest challenges is forgiving the illness for taking your lost years. Please consider listening to some NDE's, especially the ones that talk about the wisdom of 'pre-birth planning'. I believe these things could be a great source of healing.
Bless you. When we go home to heaven the ones who chose the hardest difficulties get the greatest heavenly applause.
Great video :)
I applaud you for your honesty . My sister had bi polar disorder and had schizo effective disorder . She had a tough life but she tried her best to cope . She decided to never have children and that was her choice . I applaud her also . All the best to you and your family .❤️
I'm part of your discord group. And I just want to say thank you. Even though you don't do well at times. it's hard for others to see because of how well you carry yourself and how much you do. People tell me the same thing. I have schizoaffective too. We might need to learn to be more detailed with what's going on with us emotionally and mentally in a more vulnerable way, than most people so others can see what we are experiencing and seeing. If that makes sense. So that we can better understand how we are doing since that meaning is so vague.
I didn't know Lauren had a baby. What a cute kid! ❤
Omg I had postpartum with all 3 kids and it was really really tough. It made me have to accept I have mental illness just I’ve never been diagnosed I was scared they’d take my kids away. Need to seek diagnosis. My brother has schizophrenia so I think I have a lot of things in the spectrum. I suffer during my cycle too and not in a normal way. I love your channel and think your are pretty.
HI, listening trying to understand mental health. Boy, do I wish we had youtube in 1976! Talk about struggles. No phone, no car, new baby on dec 26th. I remember one week into this standing at a window watching it snow, this thought came to me " you gotta get out of here" complete panic. Just really wanted to leave my baby, and husband and go. Yikes. Where did that come from I wonder? Talked myself out of that idea. But yeah scary. Really nice you have a support system. And good channel. thanks for share.
I have the same illness, but whenever listen to your channel, I often feel you're so incredibly well spoken that I'm surprised we share the same illness, but don't have that speaking ability. If I spoke on utube people would quickly bore of me, since I'm a woman with few words.
Vivian, you just have a different personality, you are unique and beautiful!!🤗🙏🏻❤️
Exactly Kathy. My brother and I both don't have this illness but he's a real entertainer I would love to be more like that but I'm not. Different personalities nothing to do with illness.
I had my baby 2 1/2 years ago and I’m still struggling…. The second day I had him my emotions were really bad I did not have the support I needed the nurse made me cry. It was the start of everything… I ended up having extreme panic attacks that disable me from everything, I had to have someone right next to me every minute. I eventually got on a medication that I refuse to go higher in dose but I’m still on today. My brain has changed from this and it is really hard to cope with it still. I had gotten therapy but it’s so expensive that I had to stop. I looked into cheaper apps on my phone and self therapy. I actually had a panic attack today and I was like geeze I thought I was done with them… I wish there would be more available mental health teachings and knowledge passed down from drs to help. From where you were you were doing amazing in what time, place, situation that you were in and you coped well ❤️ it’s amazing to learn from our experiences and gain knowledge and be able to see and or cope better for future things. Thank you. Your amazing!
Good luck on your journey! I really like channels on yt from psychologists
After I gave birth I dropped weight quite quickly and had lots of people comment on it quite a bit and it was actually hard on me as it made me way more focused on it than if they hadn't said anything. I wish people would stop commenting on other people's bodies.
It's because we live in patriarchy. A woman's value is still measured by age and weight. It is slowly getting a little better, but we still have quite a long way to go.
Stress. An important factor to recognize and manage.
It comes in many varieties and affects you in both positive and negative ways.
The best way I have found to cope with it is being honest with myself (Lie to yourself, not good) and cut back a bit on 'everything', so what if I'm not appearing 100% as long as I am 80%. Sure I may appear boring, uninterested, lazy, cold, avoiding, etc - keyword here is *appear, not being*
As far as body weight postpartum, I figure any weight is just perfect since it all came from a baby - such an important undertaking. ☺ (I also believe weight is a very minor importance anyways).
I had twins! I thought I was doing fine, like you I started controlling my eating, then drinking and then spending. Eventually I ended up in a mental health hospital with the babies for 8 weeks and then on an acute ward for 3 weeks. I was so poorly it was awful. I thought I was doing fine then when they were 3 months old I crashed massively but I think I was also having a bipolar episode
I had a similar experience with my postpartum. I'm not diagnosed with any schizophrenia but my dad and my sister are and I did have a psychotic episode it only lasted a day and I believe I was manic for a couple of months leading up to it and then I had a deep depression for a long time after.
U are amazing 😻 and beautiful 🤩 I love your content
What was maladaptive about the coping mechanisms?
What was concretely detrimental about your strategies ?
all I want in life is a child but i dont think i will be able to have one since i am bipolar 1. my psychosis is very intense and i have no doubt my child would be taken away. i feel lost because that was my goal in life.
Could you please make a video about schizophrenia and short term memory?
❤️
sending love and support from israel
I had two kids and almost zero support from any extended family. My partner had exactly one week off for both kids. We were living as the working poor economically. I didn’t have a job and no income as being in a common law relationship had disqualified me for mental health disability payments. Big question mark here as to how that one works!???????? But anyway that went on for several years. I finally found part time work which was emotionally and brutally exploitive of my mental illness although I often accomplished twice as much as the other employees. I also did a lot of volunteer stuff until I came up against too much opposition and made an exit/. I couldn’t cope with carry and competitive at all.
But back to the kids. Yes challenging and very difficult. A Huge amount of work and kids are 24/7 nonstop. Laundry plus with a blue collar partner and cloth diapers. I have good kids who have grown into responsible community minded and socialist employed young women. It’s amazing that just sticking to the hard work and constantly feeling on the edge of losing it but hanging on by my fingernails worked. Mother’s Day presents were my partner taking my kids camping.
I think that anyone without a lot of support goes through the same. The added difficulty for someone with schizophrenia is to be able hang in there and not make your kids paranoid or fear your reactions to the public. I got through this by letting go for the public education system quite a lot as well as keeping up to it especially during their elementary school years. It’s always a lot of work with kids no matter where you are or what you are doing. It is an add on job even if you don’t have an official job.
I m suffering from mental covid and now I decide to leave all the negative people who made me sick
I have schizophrenia and bpd I do want to have a baby but I worry that because my illness can be passed on I shouldn't. I worry about the judgement
Sweatheart u are so beautiful .
Like everything about your pureness and authentic sharing . So moving .
I struggle though when you call Schizophrenia a mental illness. As it sounds like something you are causing . Schizophrenia isn’t something you caused . I so hope you speak to this as our son died from the system treating him with med after med after med changes and talking to him as if he has a mental illness he caused and therefore can change . Therapy is beautiful don’t get me wrong but when one gets hallucinations from psychosis it is not your fault .The brain is in a state that you aren’t causing .
There is a new organization called Schizophrenia & Psychosis Action Alliance that is actually trying to help take the diagnosis out of being diagnosed as a mental illness and instead a brain illness . It’s not your fault …I so wanted my son to feel that as it so is not anyones fault and I feel our system can treat you as if it is .
I love u. You are so beautiful . You are so innocent . You are so deeply loved for being you. ♥️ You did not cause schizophrenia … it came through you and has what I would now call an overly psychic impact to it and you are holding it with such grace . 🙏🏼♥️
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times
I want to ask you how did you manage to be pregnant while medicated as I wanna have a baby but I have schizoaffectif disorder and I am afraid to do so without medication please can you do an episode about this and sorry for my english
It is also important to note that even coping mechanisms that are not great in the long term can be helpful to get through difficult times. You don't need to be perfect and sometimes whatever works, works.
I suffered post partdum phocosis after i had my son and my girls
❤️❤️❤️❤️
U ,lauren, look great esp.since u had a baby
yeah mee too
Hi :)
You re so beautiful ! Share more beauty moments about having a baby and a family. I had a depression and psichosis but now i m good and i wish a baby buy Im thinking about a lot of things...
I'm really struggling. I'm a stay at home mom and have only got to leave the house 5 times in the past 10 months for under 2 hours by myself. I am still 20 pounds overweight and feel disgusting. I exclusively breastfeed so putting him into childcare isn't possible at this time as he never would take a bottle. I have no friends, my family barely talks to me. And now I've developed anxiety about leaving the house as I think everyone will think I am fat. I don't have health insurance (my son does) so I can't seek help.
Mama, I know this pain. What’s your email?
Thanks for a video Lauren. I'm currently trying for baby number two! I developed schizophrenia after my first child but I wonder if my symptoms starting before her birth even.
I'm concerned because I just got news from the On Track program here wants to "graduate" me because I am doing so well. This means all my care will fall with my family doctor and I will no longer have a psychiatrist. Do you guys think a normal doctor can properly deal with someone with schizophrenia?
Assuming ur asking commenters: probably depends on primary doc; maybe, wouldn’t expect so tbh. I’d speak up or ask for appts & help before you need it & advocate for your care. Hope you keep your team of docs that helped you. Usually needed for a reason. Imho You deserve just right for you. : ) Good luck
What were your thoughts re possibly passing on schizoaffective disorder?
I noticed you use the word navigate a lot. Is this an appropriate term for describing how you and the people around you work through the episodes, symptoms and with the illness as a whole?
Good gracious you know yourself
I'm clueless
I suppose you could be currently overthinking
❤️👋🙏
Matthew: “Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”
I have been watching your videos for a long time. You must understand that people who think and feel deeply are blessed and cursed. They feel most everything and suffer from it as well. You know what you’ve accomplished and how well loved you are. It is time for you to TRULY forgive yourself for not being who you think you should be. Instead, be who you are because you are perfect in the eyes of God.
Has anyone had a baby while on medication? Wondering if its safe to breastfeed while taking medications for shizophrenia. Let me know if any of you have had any medical advice or experience with this.
Thank you
I will support you by buying a Schizophrenia mug :D