My Top 10 Delusions
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- čas přidán 19. 06. 2024
- Delusions are fixed false beliefs that are not grounded in reality. Delusions can be one of the symptoms of schizophrenia, and they are one of my symptoms of schizoaffective disorder.
In this video, I share my top 10 delusions that I experience on a regular basis.
Time Stamps:
00:33 - Types of delusions
02:01 - What delusions feel like
03:29 - Delusion #1 Mirrors
04:57 - Delusion #2 I’m being followed
06:11 - Delusion #3 I’m in a coma
07:14 - Delusion #4 Thought broadcasting
08:03 - Delusion #5 People are attracted to me
09:21 - Delusion #6 Somatic delusions
11:02 - Delusion #7 I don’t have schizophrenia
11:35 - Delusion #8 Making connections
12:54 - Delusion #9 Infidelity
14:03 - Delusion #10 I’m in a simulation
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I just want to thank you and your husband both. I have schizophrenia but through watching your videos I have learned that schizophrenia does not have me. I go off on some severely delusional tangents from time to time but its ok.
I have a question. I always believed my ex husband was going to put me in a nursing home when I got old. Is this an imaginary belief? I divorced him because of this.
My first psychotic break, I thought I was secretly being filmed and everyone knew who I was. Like the Truman Show. My second break, in December, I thought I was the second coming of Jesus and there was a world war being fought between Angels and Demons and the hospital I was locked up in was actually a military base where I was being protected from evil forces.
Very interesting thank you for sharing. I thought I was chosen and still think ppl are being used by evil forces to ruin my life. I hope the best for us
Omg I get persecutory grandiose. Hospital is terrifying for that reason.
@@libbyhyett6625 i have auditory hallucinations but i just ignoring it its telling me that i am the chosen one to save humanity but i keep ignoring and i am ok and i don't experience mental break.
That is so similar to what I’ve experienced
I thought I was being stalked and watched through ac vents. During the first two days, a homeless guy found me crawling on the ground in the woods in nearby park. Probably the one who alerted law enforcement and saved my life
I had to giggle at the “everyone finds me attractive” delusion 🙂. I have a very common delusion that I’m about to get arrested and that I’m actually a criminal. 🤦♀️🤦♀️ It can actually give me tremendous anxiety. I’m bipolar.
I know what you did in the woods two years ago. Stop hiding. You will be arrested.
@@user-rz7pk6hi5p ur boring
I’ve felt this before
So annoying
It’s sad that people with delusions don’t realize their delusions like come on your not special or getting arrested
There was a meth dealer on my road and investigators would park along my lawn to monitor them so they couldn't see them. I thought they were monitoring me until police cars filled up the entire block and arrested the guy.
I really connect with some of these as someone with OCD. It's really frustrating knowing that something is untrue but "feeling" like it's "definitely true."🙄
Same here, I also have OCD and was feeling a lot of similarities.
You're awesome and with what you've experienced - you have normal conversation between your friends. Thank you for sharing!
Me too! Especially the perceived correlation between thoughts and outside occurrences. I know it's not true but still can't shake it sometimes.
@@olikane thank you for sharing.
I am wondering if I'm just obsessive with my dissociation with reality
I'm so touched to see so many people with OCD here and validating each other. While it's not schizophrenia, a lot of schizophrenic symptoms overlap with severe OCD. To those with schizophrenia, thank you for sharing your stories and connecting with others struggling with their mental health.
Amen!!! OCD can be so horrific and undescribable. Like you said it’s not schizophrenia it’s not bipolar etc. but yes it is so good to see a lot of people with OCD on here. Mental illness. I have to come a lot more. It’s coming a little bit better, but not enough. Which hard is OCD could mimic bipolar and I also have ADHD and I could member bipolar. They could all over life like you said. But I’ve had to clear OCD since I was probably five. I did respond well to medicine that I started when I was 23, but then I got used to that medicine and had to try another. it does. I haven’t known only recently, it does have its flareups, and then remission or calm down. It’s almost impossible to even try to explain it to people. And I understand. They were OK now, but it did flare up horrendously when my mother was very sick and passed away this past July. He was just out of control. SSRIs stopped helping, but I’ve learned other methods that are helping my I never believed that nothing but medicine would help, but I do have techniques that have been helping. Mental illness is just like having cancer or diabetes or high blood pressure etc. but you just can’t see it you can’t put a Band-Aid on somebody’s brain. The worst about it as far as my OCD is the anxieties that I get and then it’s so bad that until I get that answer to probably the stupidest questions I can’t eat. I can’t do anything. I can’t stop crying. It’s just a disaster. I have mainly the reassurance of OCD now and intrusive thoughts which is still kind of the reassurance. I know now they say the thing to do is to not let people give you the reassurance that they are enabling you. But I can’t imagine going that long with the horrific anxiety. Before I was put on medicine when I was one he’s really went to months straight with that nervous stomach, but anxiety went down to 92 pounds. So I will say for anybody new with OCD again medicine helps. Sometimes you have to try a couple and you do have to give it at least a month. You could have headaches you could be nauseous, etc. but it does usually go away within a month. And then there’s the CBT therapy I didn’t go to it but I’m looking at it online and trying some things online from that. What hurts the most is? I have two beautiful kids. They are 25 and 26 and this is the first time they were we got to see how bad it could be. I never wanted it to spill over onto them but it got so bad with my whole family When my mother died and all this other stuff.. When they were little and the whole time of me raising them, it was very mild. They really didn’t even notice because I was so happy being a stay at home mom with my kids. I’m trying my best not to drive that much with the stupid questions. Do you love me? Are you mad at me? I’m sorry if you think low of me now. So I don’t know if that’s the shit I say and I just got to stop. Since I was a kid, my goal in life is always. I wanted kids and I wanted to be the best mother in the world and now I feel like failed. But I couldn’t begin to tell you the amount of love that show me and if I keep it up then I’m gonna fail so I have to stop. Now I am in a depression and I hate that they see that, but what am I going to do thats life.
I was looking for a comment about OCD, glad I'm not the only one!
@@herminecobainjulesvernedas5177
You certainly were not. Lol
I would love to give lectures about it in schools. I guarantee it stop some of these young kids committing suicide.
I have severe OCD, BPD and ptsd. Can confirm there are overlapping symptoms. Especially the paranoia and mood swings
I have OCD and I was just thinking, "Wow, a lot of this resonates with me." I remember being in elementary school and having this paranoia that any time I went to the bathroom, I was actually asleep and in reality was wetting the bed. My compulsion was that I would have to "prove" to myself that I was awake by pinching or causing some sort of pain before I could pee. I didn't realize for another 15 years that I was having OCD symptoms even that early.
As someone with OCD - I can relate to so many of these. I wish there was more research on the connection between OCD and schizophrenia/psychotic illnesses because the symptoms really can feel so similar. The simulation delusion & thought broadcasting are two huge ones with me. Thanks for this video Lauren!
I have OCD as well. My psychiatrist explained that severe OCD and schizophrenia can have similar symptoms. That’s why antipsychotics can be very helpful in treatment! A low dose of antipsychotics is extremely helpful in managing my paranoia and delusional symptoms.
My OCD became delusional & I was hospitalised! There's definitely an overlap when insight begins to disappear.
Yes it's very similar with symptoms like intrusive thoughts, psychosomatic symptoms, paranoia and delusions - usually associated with the obsession.
From my personal therapy experience, my psychologist described my OCD symptoms as being very specific, with repetitive, controlled behaviours and thoughts. However, the psychosis I experience is more randomised and almost creative with what hallucinations/delusions my brain gives me. They're much deeper in thought and often span scenarios larger than myself and my controlled world.
Anyone know of any antipsychotic that is good for an insulin dependent diabetic? I have had OCD since I was a child (runs in my family) and it’s gotten really bad since the pandemic started. The intrusive thoughts are really bad right now. Starting therapy soon. I also have panic disorder, depression and who knows what else. I’m 48 and peri menopausal. I’ve always heard that anti psychotics would make my diabetic control worse.
@@OctoberRust1973 medication reacts differently in everyone's system so you would have to speak to your doctor about medications that don't impact insulin or weight gain
The worst thing is having a delusion that turns out to be true. An irrational belief, not grounded in reality, which turns out to actually have merit. Makes it extremely difficult to dismiss that same emotion next time it happens. For me it's mostly just people talking about me. I end up isolating a lot, because the subjective experience of being the focus of everybody else is very unpleasant. It's a bit easier to bear when there's nobody else around. It definitely doesn't feel "delusional" when it happens, but when I look at myself in retrospect, I often have to concede that I wasn't being rational at the time. I also noticed that it's usually accompanied by strong emotion of some kind, that's how I can tell it's starting to happen. Usually I have flattened affect.
Yes this is the worst. Horrific!
Yeah you want to feel that move to Scotland and listen to both sides of politics the side I'm on says the current leader is a Nazi while the other side says we're the Nazis trying to discredit the leader because she's a woman
Yeah I’m sorry it sounds crazy but I really believe my delusion is true.
I don't have such mental illness. I have depression, a little bit of OCD, social fobia and some more i guess indiagnosed. So right now i think and believe my relatives(which we were with today) are speaking about me in the worst way. And sometimes i even have proof of that or i don't know, i am sure they are talking about the things i said to them today and noone can tell me otherwise. Is this a delusion or not?
Hello Lauren and Rob,
My delusion was that I was super special and that I was playing a key role in world affairs. I believed that I was connected globally through my TV. This happened to me in 1987, 1988 and 2007 but I haven't had anymore psychotic episodes since 2007 fingers crossed and so long as I continue to take the prescribed tablet Dolmatil(sulpiride) I should be fine but hoping I will not get Parkinson's as a side effect of this drug. I'm 68.
I therefore highly recommend Dolmatil(sulpiride) to anyone who has schizophrenia or bipolar. My next door neighbour with a doctorate in computer science aged in her 50's has now been free of psychotic episodes for several years since she began taking Dolmatil.
All the best and many thanks,
Peter Nolan. Ph.D.(physics). Dublin. Ireland.
I don’t believe people in the United States can get Dolmatil 😕
@@hopeful188
Greetings Suzanne,
I'm sorry to hear that. Dolmatil is made by Sanofi a company here in Europe. Let me Google for more info about Sanofi just now and get back to you.
Love,
Peter.
@@hopeful188
Greetings Suzanne,
I just Googled to learn that Sanofi is a French company headquartered in Paris. The wiki I was just skimming through is very detailed indeed. However you can go I guess to the Sanofi website and I urge you to send them an email to see if they might send Dolmatil to the States by post if you wanted to try it. I have no idea how it might work. I'm assuming you might have a doctor of your own and if you spoke to him he might be able to help.
For me Dolmatil is a life saver and had I steadfastly continued to take it from June 1987 I would never have had those 2nd and 3rd psychotic episodes in 1988 and 2007.
With the name Donovan you must have connections with Ireland. Have you ever heard of the singer songwriter Donovan?
Love,
Peter.
I had that problem as well. I just figured eventually that it was crap especially when it had visual hallucination components. But it took a very long time not to have audio hallucinations from the radio. Those were huge for me. Using Vitamins etc has helped with all hallucinations. I don't take meds. Also reason works. And turning down all stress.
@@jacquelineleitch7050
Hello Jacqueline,
Our two cases are different in the way that when I had psychosis I didn't even know I was psychotic and if I'm not mistaken by having watched another of Lauren's videos this is called anosognosia. You are blessed that you can use reason to cope. I'm a case where I am either fully psychotic or fully well with no symptoms whatsoever which is how for example I've been for over the last 14 years. So long as I continue to take Sanofi's Dolmatil(sulpiride) I should stay well. I'm 68 now anyway.
It's so nice to hear from you and learning that we had that same delusion that connectedness to the TV and feeling special playing a key role in world affairs. However we are all simultaneously at the focus of God but let's not say too much more about that. Any world leader can be at the centre of world affairs for example in real life like the POTUS for example.
Love,
Peter.
I am 110% persecutory delusions and even on meds and regular therapy I haven't been able to fully escape them. It's exhausting and feels incredibly lonely when you truly believe everyone around you, friends, family and coworkers combined, absolutely hate you are using information they know about you to ruin your chance at life. Those thoughts have costed me countless relationships with people, especially when you believe their only core motive is to hurt you and not help you. Imagine the lack of trust that comes along with those thoughts, how scared we feel, and how lonely we truly are in those moments 😓
may be ask your psychiatrist if clozapine will help you
🥺💔
I've had that last year during a very traumatic time in my life, I truly believed this, I even changed my phone number and erased my phone memory (I regret that now) I was going around town and talking nonsense, I thought my mom was against me, then I thought my friends were against me, it only lasted about 20 hours, it was scary and I've never had this again, but I'm in therapy and taking meds, I was diagnosed with ADHD with depression and anxiety, this all happened when I started taking meds and didn't sleep for days because I was hyper focused on space (I don't even know why) and was on a binge on studying space, then I thought the universe was sending me signals, and I was trying to convince my family that my current dog was actually my first dog that died when I was a kid, it was a wild time.
I get the embarrassment that some delusions cause. The delusion that got me diagnosed was that I believed that fictional characters were watching me when I engaged in their media and fandom content so I would never say a characters name out loud or if I watched their show or looked at fanart I would hide under my blankets so they wouldn’t see. Completely irrational but I truly believed it. Thankfully I’m on meds now and I can actually watch stuff comfortably
Holy crap I thought I was the only one
Hahaha i experienced the exact same thing and it caused me so much anxiety! it was too embarrassing to try and explain it to other people! I feel so seen with your comment!
This is something that I've experienced quite a lot! Glad I'm not alone in this😅
Or characters talking back to you from videos and all. Sense meds nothing talks back thankfully
I have this one and it's so annoying. I can't watch anything without thinking it's taking to me. When people walk by, it breaks me out of it. So im expecting to get better eventually
“Do I really have schizophrenia?” Is a huge one for me! Same with thinking I’m psychic and that I have parasites
Why would they be mutually exclusive, though? 🤔
Right. Some of these things aren’t as irreal as we’re made to believe.
We can will things into reality, our thoughts are connected to what’s happening without. The question worth exploring here is, to which extent?
She seems to me like a highly sensitive and gifted individual, not to disregard her condition though.
Psychic ability is absolutely real tho just bc the world tell u it isn’t real doesn’t mean it’s true
Better than having crabs.
I had many similar delusions during a major manic episode I had years ago. I have deep respect for anyone who goes through delusions and/or psychosis. It’s intense
The thing is...when we share the things that embarrass us, we bring the darkness to the light. They no longer have control over us. Yes, the symptoms may persist, but something is freed inside us when it's no longer a secret. (We also tend to find out there are many others experiencing it as well. Therefore, we're not alone.) I love and appreciate your honesty, openness and vulnerability. You are breaking down barriers to mental health issues on this channel. Applause and Hugs❣️
I have OCD, and what you’ve described is very similar to my experience. For me, it’s the “what if it’s true” questions that spiral into a rabbit hole. It’s torture truly feeling like something may be true that simply makes no sense, and it’s difficult to explain to people who don’t have the same/similar conditions. I’m really glad that I found your channel, as it really resonates with me
I was going to comment that exact same thing! ILike, I'm not convinced it's true, I'm just worried it might be. And of course it's just the most annoying / dark / anxiety-inducing thing you can possibly imagine at that precise moment lol. I feel you, I promise you're not alone and your thoughts don't define you or dictate who you are as a person ❤ Hope you're doing ok!
This happens to me with my generalized and social anxiety lol it's helpful to see so many others who can relate and understand!! Like I know it's irrational but I can't help it
Thank you for bringing awareness to schizophrenia and related illnesses. Greetings from 46 year old, diagnosed in 2000.
Your self awareness is nothing short of astounding. I experience a few of those delusions. Erotomania was the first one I realized (with help from my psychiatrist / therapist), and I have that under control. I also continue to have this delusion that I'm a young teenager. This is due in part to sexual abuse which can 'freeze' a victim's development at the age of abuse. No lie, my voice as a male continued to break into my 30's as if I were still 13 / 14.
Thanks for your courage in discussing this. It helps me re-examine my own experiences.
that erotic experience freezes you up and became your subliminal identity. been experiencing the same. mine happened when i was still young, a toddler. but luckily, was partnered with a guy my age that time or else if it happened with an adult, remembering it now at age 33 would make me go ballistic. it would have been so disgusting and putrid. but since i was so young and has no sense of right and wrong, im just trying to laugh it off now. strange how young i was because if i didnt experience a mental breakdown, i wouldnt remember any of it now.
i was a toddler when i explore eroticism. 7yrs up puberty, i adopted a tomboy persona. now at 33 the knowledge of my personal development all came back vividly. i feel the characters
Yes, I've experienced every one of these delusions too. Also:
People being replaced by clones.
I've died and am in an alternate reality.
Others personalitys are trying to merge with me.
I'm immortal
I've uploaded insanity and emotions in others.
Out of body experiences.
Time manipulation
Karma and energy stealing
Speaking with inanimate objects
Speaking to nature, animals and paranormal.
Character immersion
First person perspective from other perspectives.
Portals that are tied to any source of energy.
Omnicentricisim and omnipotence
Manifestations of all kinds.
Multiple personalities
I caused covid (sorry)
Etc. Etc. Etc.
(Help never helps) ^^ lol
Stop causing covid, that's not cool.
Hey. Hey hey, why did you cause covid? Not cool.
Just kidding!
I have the "I've died and this is an alternate reality" thing. It's constant. I didn't even realize it was a delusion until I read this comment. :X
From what I've heard from people with delusions is that these thoughts and beliefs are sort of like flights of fancy, or imagination gone awry. I wonder if you could "parent" yourself, meaning say to yourself what a parent would say if you told them about the delusion. Refuse to indulge in it, refuse to allow ruminating on the delusion. I have a relative who has paranoid thinking that falls into delusions. When he tells me about his current delusion, I dispel it. I tell him it isn't true, nobody is coming "after him" and he needs to relax and put this out of his mind. I do it in a parental way (I'm not his parent), and make sure to put the delusion down as extremely unlikely and not real. This seems to be very helpful in the moment, but he will often continue thinking the delusional thought after we talk. I wonder why he can't be his own parental figure...say to himself, "no this is silly. Nobody is coming after me." He just can't seem to take control of his mind like that and it just runs wild. I know it's scary for him and I wish I could make it go away for him, but I can't.
@@mygirldarby I understand where your coming from, its neurological and/or some chemical imbalance on the physical level. On a mental/psychological level it can be caused by certain stimulations like colors, patterns, geometry, number sequences, words or phrases, emotions, pretty much anything based around 5 senses including vibrations, energy or frequencies. Also, the psyches "shadow" can play a huge part. From a spiritual perspective ALOT of these symptoms are collaborated around opening the 3rd eye which is also like saying stimulation of the pineal gland which secretes DMT, a very powerful hallucinogen. In some parts of the world people with schizophrenia and schizoaffective symptoms is regarded as being gifted or closer (touched) by other dimensions or supernatural.
I've died and am in an alternate reality.
I went through what your talking about while I was in a coma. I had a brain aneurysm rupture in 2020. And was on life support and in a coma for 19days. I was alive in another world during that time. The slipping back and forth from the other world back into this one where I was on life support, was horrific. When I finnaly went home I had severe PTSD from it. I still have a hard time with the feeling that I'm stuck in a simulation. And that every one and everything is just apart of my simulation.
Wow, v that must've been horrific. So sorry you went through that, but I'm glad you made it out alive. Hope ur doing well now❤ as far as simulations, it's a pretty widely believed theory and there's really no way to prove that we *aren't* in a simulation, so I feel like that part isn't as relevant as the other delusions she mentioned
I see a couple other people with OCD have commented noticing similarities between your delusions and OCD. As yet another person with OCD, I was thinking the same thing!
Yeah because both disorders have heavy cognitive symptoms and ocd is more based in anxiety while schizophrenia spectrum disorders are more based in paranoia sometimes at least
I think I may be a bit ocd undiagnosed
yes!! makes me feel so seen!! I often just feel like something is "wrong" with me, especially because OCD is widely misunderstood. it's nice to see so many other people sharing these experiences
@@madison7439 Agreeeeeeed! So misunderstood, sadly like most other mental health issues.
As a kid, I used to think natural disasters were my fault, like God was punishing everyone over something I did. I was quick to realize how absurd that was, thankfully. I still sometimes suspect that tragic things were somehow caused or could've been prevented by me (compelling some hard core fasting or other painful "sacrifices").
The Pee one is SO REAL!! I get over it by thinking..."You're a smart woman. You are also educated about patient care because you assist with care. You would have a catheter and couldn't pee yourself if you're in a coma! They would take care of you at the hospital."
great integration 👏🏻
Mine is usually only at night, I feel like I'm going to wake up and find out I actually wet the bed.
When I was a kid, I would pinch myself in the bathroom just to make sure I wasn't actually asleep and soiling the bed. Had no idea this happened to other people.
I had a delusion that I had a super capability for empathy. It was the only thing that kept me self aware of my manic episode. I convinced myself that if I communicated with my eyes while I talked to people I could "control" people. And I believed it was working 😅
I was recently diagnosed with Schizoaffective and I really struggled/struggle with this one. Your comment really just helped me.
@@derrickjr1705 just ignore your delusions and you will be fine that's what i am doing when my delusions is attacking me
You are such an honest person and it makes me feel normal rather I have schizophrenia or not
I had drug induced psychosis once and I thought people could read my thoughts and knew all my deepest secrets and they were all out to get me..... different from schizophrenia, but still pretty wild for about a month
literally same
Thought broadcasting and persecutory delusions are common in schizophrenia.
How did you get an conversation with people and did you only have it after drugs
No actually it happens with schizophrenia too. I also had the feeling I could here others thoughts. I think it was someone just fucking with me.
I experience the same
I came across this out of curiosity for what the illness is like. It seems to me like everyone experiences these things. I've thought things like this before. I guess it's more so that the lines between the thoughts and reality become much more blurred or hard to rationalize. I guess that's why treatment and channels like this are great for those who need it. Great video. Quite educational for me
My brother was diagnosed with Schizoid-affective Disorder later in life. I will never forget the psychiatrist emphasizing to me that when he told us his crazy stories that he really, truly believed they were true. He finally got medication and his life improved dramatically. Unfortunately, he died of cancer about 6 years later. But he was such a brilliant, amazing person that could have accomplished so much if he had been properly diagnosed and medicated earlier. Lauren, your videos helping me understand my brother and I have a whole new compassion for what he went through. Hang tough!
The day after my 26th birthday I was at work and I zoned out and then I saw the number 36 on a package and it triggered a delusion I never had before where I thought I had completely disasociated 10 years of my life, and I had a panic attack and almost passed out.
This is brilliant! I've experienced so many of these delusions and did not know there was this many names for them lol. Thank you
love your channel. I hope you're doing well today. I hate to break this to you, but telepathy is real. if you don't have Aphantasia and have an inner voice, people can pick up on intentions and thoughts sometime if they too have the ability (it's rare), and you can pick up on theirs. I only started believing this when my experience was validated outside of my subjective experience; i heard my partner's voice _in_ my head, i was looking at him, his lips weren't moving, and when i answered them they freaked out and said "how did you know what i was thinking?!" and hurried away from me. There's something about ocd/ schizo types and telepathic ability I swear.
Great video! I am bipolar and have had some of these delusions, it is extremely hard to stay connected to reality but I am starting to pick up on it, because they are the same kinds of delusions over and over. It is exhausting fighting them until my meds balance me out. I still check my closets at night for monsters and have night lights everywhere!! Its always daytime at my house🤣🤣🤣 I have reminders on my phone calendar that go off in the morning to remind me my family loves me, everything is ok don’t believe your mind. It helps sometimes, kind of like the Movie 50 First Dates🤣🤣🤣
Thank you so much for doing these videos, Lauren. I feel so much better knowing that I'm not the only one struggling desperately with these kinds of thoughts.
Big love to you for sharing your experience so candidly. You are so brave and inspiring!
Thank you for making these videos. I have started showing them to my patients as a discussion starter. I really appreciate them as do my patients.
I can't tell you how much your channel has helped me. Thank you.
It really comforts me to watch your videos. I really struggle with anosognosia, so just hearing you list all of these delusions, really reasures me that its not something im faking. I can relate to a few of them! Thank you!
My first delusional thought was that people could hear my thoughts. I was away from home aged 17 spending time with a German family to improve my German that I was studying at school. Pretty frightening in a foreign country. Stayed in a child psychiatric clinic before my brother arrived to fly me home. 30 years on from that experience I have managed the illness well and lived a full life like yourself Lauren. Just to give hope to anyone who might be newly diagnosed. Being well-informed about the illness can certainly help 💚
I don't hear much about people in their 40's and 50's with this illness. I am in my 50's and I truly wonder what will become of me as I get even older. Do you find that anything has improved as you get older? Have you run into any medical consequences of taking meds for your adult life (assuming that you do...)?
@@catherinemccarty2307 because it tends to be even more stigmatised in older generations which is why I haven't told any of my grandparents about my illness because I don't want them looking at me differently
@Catherine McCarty I will be 47 in March and I do wonder about the future. Some say that meds might cause early dementia (there is little research done though). Also I have a slightly raised prolactin level (due to meds) which can weaken your bones so have to make sure I keep my bones strong by walking and having plenty of calcium as advised by my doctor. At the age of 40 I changed from a first generation antipsychotic to 2nd generation since it has less side effects. As I approach menopause I wonder how that might affect me. Also I read somewhere once that as we get older our bodies become more solid so may have to take a lower dose for the same effect which is good I guess. I had been really tired recently and it was because my vitamin D levels were low (Apparently quite common with this illness) I now take the recommended dose for me of vitamin D following blood tests and after a few months I am feeling better with that. In terms of if anything has gotten better; I have changed my lifestyle to accommodate my own needs instead of doing what everyone else (neurotypical) might do. For example; I limit stress, have plenty of sleep, avoid emotional triggers where possible and just recently I have been fortunate enough to work just part-time, 20 hours a week. Before I was doing 35 and on top of taking care of my elderly mother, house chores and everything else it was too much and I was burnt-out. Also I try and always have a positive outlook. I discovered faith and became a Christian in 2018 which has radically changed me. I now know God is always with me and my fate is in his hands. I also have a peace and a joy which was missing before I experienced God for myself. I would be very interested in hearing any of your experiences with the illness or medication if you are happy to share. Like you say I don’t know anyone else my age so it’s good to hear from someone who is similar in age to myself.
I was very moved by this completely transparent view and appreciate it so much!!
I just finished the neuroscientist Anil Seth's book "Being You"; where he develops a whole theory of consciousness based on the idea of us humans actively hallucinating our inner and outer world and talking about "reality", when we agree on our hallucinations. So mentally ill people do nothing special - they obviously just struggle with the part of verifying their suppositions and bringing their inner concepts in line with a "common sense" of what is true. I like that perspective.
Maybe I'm hallucinating that most agree with my perception...
@@alaididnalid7660 :))
yo.. im so hyped. ive been replying to lots of comments here. ive got a lot of theories, being confirmed in my physical actual experience which somehow proving my hypothesis. this makes me crazier .
for instance being able to know beforehand in a span of seconds, whats the other person is going to say. though the key is to empty my mind with thoights and focus my attention to a specific person or getting the vibe of a group
Ty might read that
I always look forward to getting your latest video. So well done: The way you delineated the delusions by type. I identify completely, and I, too, have gotten to the point of having years of delusions and finally admitting they are just that and not based in reality. Thank you.
I always wondered what they meant when I was asked if I had any delusions. Thank you for this video!
I'm guessing it's helpful that you and Rob can laugh at times about all of this. Great video, thanks.
I'm just in love with your personality. Thank you so much for sharing so vividly and so humble and so honesty about your experience with delusions and hallucinations. I pretty sure I'm somewhere in the very weak part of the spectrum but I've never been diagnosed or anything.
a lot of these feel so familiar to me. I've got BPD, though most of my symptoms are very well managed now! :) But looking back on my past behaviours and thoughts, a lot of these describe my feelings and thought exactly! Its nice to know what was probably going on back then.
I really appreciate your transparency. You’re such a beautiful soul and help me understand the illness.
Thank you so much for your openness and vulnerability, I love it. And Rob’s support is so awesome and his interjections are just precious!🤗
Thank you for being vulnerable and opening up about the deep stuff ❤️
Interesting episode today. Its fascinating that someone can have a delusion and know that it's a delusion.
I'm surprised at how many of these happen in neurotypical people as well. If I have an irrational thought I think it, then dismiss it. I've probably had all of the types of thoughts listed. Some neurotypical people even truly believe in some of these same delusions, but I guess that since overall they are functional and not overly obsessed with their delusional belief that it's not seen as mental illness.
You've hit the nail on the head bro. My schizophrenia developed from delusions that were more or less culturally acceptable. Psychiatrist told me that when I notice my thinking is delusional I can pull myself up in it. Say, " hang on, those isn't real."
Your honesty is so refreshing!!!
as someone who had drug included psychosis last year, i’ve never had someone else explain the feeling of psychosis quite so accurately!! thank you so much for sharing this and helping others :))
I find your clear insightful descriptions extremely helpful. You are a wonderful person 😊
Thank you for sharing this. I had a horrible psychiatrist for many years that tried to tell me I don’t have delusions despite my diagnosis. This really helped me feel more secure in who I am. I feel like I can start to identify and separate my real thoughts from my delusional ones.
I really appreciate you sharing this stuff with warmth and straightforward lack of judgement! I don't have schizophrenia but I do have some delusions that come up time to time, and it can be hard to look at them because I sometimes feel very ashamed of them; videos like this really help remove the shame.
Your laughter is therapeutic!! Thank you for sharing.
Been working with ppl with mental illness, your explaining are so great every person who works with humans should listen to your experience ❤️❤️
That little smile between you two, cutest! Thank you for sharing in the way that you do. I learn so much!
Ut VCR
Thank you for being open and making this disorder easier for someone unaffected to understand.
You’re very courageous! Thank you !
I want to thank you for sharing this. I suffer from quite a few diagnosed disorders, my biggest being MDD and OCD. I’ve recently realized how much paranoia has taken over my life. I was worried it was a sign of schizophrenia, but have since realized that is unlikely to be my case. I have a feeling the OCD is behind it.
I have a fear of being criminally investigated, or someone trying to expose/cancel/shame me. I have other irrational fears such as worrying I am turning into a (metaphorical) monster, an abuser, etc. I’ve known they were irrational but recently I’ve moved to more of the middle of the road. I still know they’re irrational, but I’m beginning to believe them more. It’s a very scary place to be in. It’s so, so lonely, too. So lonely.
I’m glad to hear that my paranoia, while it may count as a delusion (or maybe it’s not technically a delusion- I don’t know), is something others can relate to. I always assumed people who had delusions were on the other side of the spectrum where they didn’t know it was irrational at all. It’s oddly comforting to know that my type of delusion is not uncommon.
I've experienced much of them during my treatments using Mushrooms and DMT. The symptoms are quite harsh and I can't imagine feeling them on a regular basis. First time I saw reality is an illusion was very shocking and traumatizing. but as I continued with the therapy I integrated this accepting that if this is an illusion specifically made for myself with problems for me to solve (just like a lab rat) than I'm going to be the best rat there is. I mean, they're tailoring problems for me to solve, which means I can solve them, so let's get to it! That was very important because I was in a moment in my life feeling like I could not solve my problems, I was feeling hopeless, so that experience + integration was essential for my treatment.
I like this analysis. This might turn out to be the most useful thing I've seen as far as some of the delusions I deal with.
you are all delusional. discard that information. reality as an ilusion has always been a slogan than can be concieved as truth to some ungrounded people. at least these kinds of information has been my mental food during internet period of my life. its alluring concept because its connotes magic, mysticism and whatnot but boy, did it make me insane.. lol
to come back down to earth, think of yourself as animal in nature. thats your suppose basic function, not some airhead psycho
I don’t know if you really lost it but come on bro really your going to be the best rat there is you must not be aware of life anymore
I think its wonderful that you make videos about schizophrenia experiences to help others. I like to watch them to learn about and from them. Interesting, so many of the thoughts are "normal" to me. For ex: as a kid in dance class looking at your body in a mirror and seeing a distortion of shape or thoughts like that can be typical for that age. When I was in 5th grade I remember looking at my nose and feeling that it was huge. The sad thing about the mirrors and cameras is that we truly are being surveilled as a society more than ever in this day and age.
I love your videos! You are so open and really try to help people, and I think you do.
i had some very intense prolonged anxiety a few years ago which resulted in me slipping into my first episode of delusions/paranoia. every couple of years i find prolonged high stress can trigger these paranoid episodes for me, accompanied by extreme anxiety. what some people may not realise is that we can be good at hiding our condition until things get really bad. thanks for the vid
I love your videos. Thank u so much for your voice. I’m bipolar but definitely relate to so much of your experiences.
Wow thank you for finally talking about stuff personal to you. I feel like the most helpful things you can share are related to your personal experience
This video helped me so much. I felt like I was the only one experiencing this before your vid
As someone with generalised anxiety disorder, some of these hit close to home. I often know that the things I'm scared or are either not true, hugely inflated, or so far out of my control that I'm just wasting energy thinking about it. Still, it all feels super important to me and shaking the fear seems almost irresponsible. I'm so glad my antidepressants help me in that regard.
It's awesome how you are so open about your experiences. It's a pretty vunerable topic, I can imagine! Keep up the good work.
When I'm manic I have somatic delusions and persecutory delusions. Those are my two main ones. Last time I was hospitalized I was afraid I had cancer, actually more like terrified. I had stopped eating, lost about 20 lbs in a very short period of time. But after a week with a med increase I was doing better. I started doing DBT therapy and that has actually helped a lot. The DBT keeps me from spiraling long enough that my doctor can make med changes. I've already avoided two hospitalizations this way.
I really love watching all of your videos on the you tube, and you always give good advice, and so relaxing to watch, anyway hope to see more of your videos on the you tube ❤
I think it is so nice that you share your experiences with us. Thank you.
When I experienced my first Psychotic depression at 13, I didn't know it's depression let alone that what I was believing were only delusions, so I believed what I was experiencing were the "Pre-death symptoms" and that I was going to die in a matter of weeks if not days, and second thing I believed was that everyone who has my phone number besides my close family, were going to get me, torture me and kıll me, so I called every classmate that had my number and told them to delete it.
It was crazy and it lasted somewhere between 2 to 4 months
I hope no one has to experience this, and if you do, stay strong, you got this!
As far as I know I am neurotypical. Every single symptom or thought you described I have experienced or thought about at one point in time. It seems to me that having these thoughts is just part of the human experience, but being schizophrenic/psychotic makes them occur and/or the intensity of them so much higher.
You might wanna talk to a professional. That's not normal
You are so brave to help others by sharing your experiences. Thank you for your honesty.
Outstanding vid. So informative. Appreciate your honesty and humor.
I too have sza and for the longest time, I couldn’t bare to step foot in my favorite clothing stores because I was CONVINCED the security guards were keeping an eye on me from the foot I stepped in the store because they felt I was going to steal something. I seriously could not go in stores for the longest time. I thought cameras were behind the mirrors too. I would think news broadcasters on tv were ruled by the secret service watching me. So I never watched tv because I thought everyone was faking their role to try to fool me. I would think my neighbors were always watching me. And the attraction one you mention- I always thought I was so weird for thinking that. And I too am not a conceited person but I would think every guy was trying to date even if they were just simply commenting on something to me. Thank you so much for being someone I can relate to. Though that was far in my past, it is always something I think about from time to time to think of how far I’ve come
I never have heard of anyone else experiencing thought broadcasting. this was my first symptom, I remember feeling so scared that everyone knew what I was thinking.
I spent many years helping patients w various disorders w delusions and hallucinations as symptoms. I actually liked helping developing plans to deal w living w these difficult symptoms. Thank you for your brave descriptions. Your fantastic by the way ❤
I have very similar delusions to most of these you have listed, with slight variations from my OCD. Thanks for helping so many of us feel less alone :)
I'm really glad you mentioned the delusion of thinking your body looking alien. I get incredibly anxious about seeing doctors or my partner, anyone who will see my body bare will see there's something REALLY wrong with me, like my bones are out of place. I had no idea this could be a common belief, it didn't occur to me that was a delusion. It gives me comfort that I'm not alone in this thought.
100%
I've been watching your videos for awhile as research for a story I'm writing, and what you said about thought broadcasting actually made me take a step back and look at myself. I'm always convinced that people can read my mind even though I know they're not. The way you described the different levels of delusions made me realize that maybe it's not as normal as I thought. I should probably tell someone about that haha
I have seen some people talk about this being something that people on the autism spectrum experience. I’m not giving any diagnoses of course, but that specific one could be unrelated to psychosis (especially if it’s your only one)
I think it can also be associated with hyper-empathy but I have nothing to back that up besides personal experience lol
@@SybilNix I've been actually looking for comments like this because some of the delusions sound really familiar to me but I always chalked that up to me being a little weird🙈 and now I'm wondering if people without any mental illnesses can be a bit delusional at times as well as I don't have OCD, Schizophrenia or autism (as far as I know)? Then again I might be just projecting🤔
I honestly just want to hug her. My grandma struggled with incredibly intense paranoia with her schizophrenia. It surrounded her medicine and really became a detrimental cycle, because she needed her medicine to help keep the delusions at bay but she believed the medication itself was someone trying to poison her. I loved her so much and it breaks my heart that she went through that. Hugs to this sweet woman. ❤
Thanks for this video, hearing other talk about their specific delusions helps me to deal with mine.
11:19 this delusion resonates HARD I- I thought I was the only one who has had to deal with this. I thought I was alone for a long time just stuck in a loop of me labeling myself "attention seeker" or feeling ashamed. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one.
Oh my gosh, I just found your channel thru Anthony Padilla (I can’t believe I missed that one!) and I am blown away.so far I feel so heard- I have the coma delusion (but that I’m sleeping), and thought broadcasting. And I think the video I’m going to watch next (I can’t stop looking up) might for once explain something I go through often that no doctor or internet search could give me an answer to. Thank you thank you!
I been dating someone who has a esquizoafective disorder he had a relapse a couple of weeks ago and he was taken by the police to a facility so they can help him with his condition. I been watching videos about it and reading a lot because I want to be able to help him. I really want him to feel better and get back to normal. I pray for him everyday.
Im a family member of someone with Schizophrenia. My family memebr believes that he can read peoples thoughts and he has clarevoiant abilities. The 4 different delusions you described, it made me think about my cousins actions and how they fit into those categories. Thank you for the insight. Im going to handle my my cousin with more understanding now
The simulation delusion is so interesting to me because it can be experienced by people with OCD too. It has to do less with the delusional thinking and more with the inability to tolerate uncertainty in the context of OCD. I think that for both people living with schizophrenia or OCD it can be helpful to watch the movie “Inception”. SPOILER ALERT….At the end of the movie, we don’t get to know if the protagonist is stuck in yet another dream or whether he has reached the “base reality”. But, we see how the main character has learnt to coexist with the uncertainty by staying in the present moment and focusing on things that bring him joy (his kids in that case). At the end of the day, it really doesn’t make a difference if we live in a simulation or not.
In my opinion, literally all of what she’s talking about just sounds like OCD. Because if you’re aware that your delusions aren’t real, then they’re not delusions. They’re just fears.
Unless the only reason she’s able to talk like this here is because of her medications.
@@kconrad5893 she said they range from her being able to know they are delusions to not. Im guessing medications play a role
Would like to say to anyone reading: please do not recommend to people who have schizophrenia to watch 'Inception': my sister watched it while she was experiencing psychosis and it made her symptoms WORSE.
@@red_velvetcake1759 I’m sorry you’ve had to go through that. To be fair watching any movie or show or even listening to music whilst in a psychosis can and often will make things significantly worse. From what I understand Psychosis needs intervention it doesn’t get better i it’s own. Speaking from my own experience aswell
Hope your sister is doing better
Can also be possible to an extent also
This describes me perfectly. I’m so glad I found you.
Rob is so sweet piping in! When I am making this comment I saw you are in the hospital currently and I wish you well and pray for you! I am sure Rob is by you fully and will be home to hold your hand soon! I suffer with mental illness and am struggling right now. I am so glad to have support as well. Love from Scotland.xx
I relate to the thoughts being connected to occurrences, and I have OCD, not schizophrenia. Thanks for sharing and being vulnerable as always!
Hey, I have OCD too and I was thinking the same! There are definitely similarities.
Thank you for this video it's nice to know we have similar delusions. I worry that no one understands what I go thru as a schizophrenic even on my meds I still have issues like hearing sirens while I'm trying to sleep
Our 14 yr old son has just been diagnosed with schizophrenia. It has been a nightmare for him and us. He sees faces, but doesn't hear voices, they attack him constantly and force thoughts into his mind that he says are lies. He says he has to defeat them or they will destroy his family. We are on the second medication because the first one did nothing, and so far the second isn't helping.
Your channel has been sooooo helpful to us in giving us insight as we research and try to get him help. Most info out there seems so depressing and hopeless, but your channel gives us hope.Thank you for making these videos.
THIS VIDEO WAS SO HUMILIATINGGGGGGGGG im 15 and have never gone to a therapist so DEFINITELY not going to self diagnose with schizophrenia but like- 😭 this video was such a freaking call out 😭😭😭😭 im just here tho because ive been having auditory hallucinations but hrhrhrrrr
As a Schizophrenic I have some of your symptoms. I really wish the best for you. 💕
I’d really like to say thank you for being brave enough to make these videos so that people like me can feel a little less alone in the world of mental illness.
When I had my first psychotic episode I was 34. I was having auditory hallucinations and was completely unaware. It was very real to me. The hallucination was that we were all communicating telepathically. That we could all talk to each other this way. No one would admit that they had any experience of this which was of course a lie, right! I could hear them. I’d never had any experience with mental illness except for major depression as teenager. The fact that I thought my family was lying to me was devastating. I knew they were keeping this from me. That they were able to communicate telepathically as well.
I went through trying to rationalize that this wasn’t possible, that my family would never betray me this way. But it didn’t matter. I could hear it. It was real.Schizophrenia never once occurred to me. Mental illness was not the answer. I was being psychologically tortured, eventually believing it was by the government and my family knew and was doing nothing to protect me.
It wasn’t until I watched a video on CZcams of a woman who was schizophrenic and explained what she went through and the kinds of belief systems she had created that I started to consider the fact that I may have a mental illness.
Your videos for me, put the experiences I have in perspective. I can relate to so many of your delusions. Believing there are cameras. I used to believe that it was the reason all of the voices in my head knew where I was and what I was doing. What the space I was in looked like. What was on the tv. Believing people can hear your thoughts. It all feels very invasive and completely out of my control which is another difficult aspect.
It would be cool to hear your thoughts on what I’ve shared with you. If you have any 😃
Thanks again for sharing!
Thank you for sharing your experience. Actually, this year is my 3rd year of experiencing symptoms of hallucinations/hearing voices/thought broadcasting/delusions/etc. I'm actually not sure what's exactly my mental illness but I have the same experiences of you guys. I'm always carried away and distracted by the voices I am hearing and also of the thoughts that comes my mind, so I kinda upset often and sometimes I'm trying to annoy the voices inside my brain. Since I got this symptoms, I can't work properly just like before and i can no longer works for years, the longest time was 6months and my latest previous job was about a month I guess. I always have the delusions that anybody will slander me because of some intrusive thoughts that comes inside my mind. For the previous 2years, I always worrying, anxious and overthinking if what if people are planning to do something bad against me, and worst, to my family. I have so many delusions that I am isolating myself and trying to not to talk about my thoughts to anyone in my family, and choosing my friends to share kinda bit of what I am experiencing with my hallucinations. I have tried asking for help from the expert, but its not really helping, coz it's not really easy to open up and tell your thoughts to anyone, kinda have a weird thoughts. And hearing voices and thinking of thought broadcasting, kinda worsen anxiety and depression. I kinda felt relief knowing I am not alone having this kind of mental health battle. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences here, and I am hoping for us that someday, we will get the normal life again specially on mental state.
Yes I am sza n I struggle w delusions like some u mentioned but thank u for sharing I’m going through something rn so it was refreshing to see u talk so openly n positively
It's so nice to discover your channel. I am really grateful.
My diagnosis was dipolar. I have also hospitalised. No one can truly understands how it feels. It's like prison and worst. So stressful.
I have seen many of your videos. You speak to my personal fears.
People with mental illness are so stigmatized. And it's so unfair. I mean brain is an organ like all the other organs. It's ok to be sick(and very difficult and unpleasant).
So yes you are doing a great action.
You give us voice.
We are not freaks. We are very sensitive, gifted, normal humans. We are fighters.
I wish all the best to you and your family and like Epicurus said wish you :"No pain to your body, no sadness to your soul". Harmony in disharmony.
Ps. The 10th helusination seems like a philosophical/scientific quest.
I have studied physics. One of the greatest questions always was if reality really exists.
I have heard voices and I have seen things in my psychotic episode that weren't there. Although they seemed very real to me.
Maybe reality suffers from shichophrenia ;)
Thanks for your video. I would love to see a video on dealing with the shame that comes from actions and behaviours associated with psychosis. Sometimes I can get so caught up in the shame of what I’ve done or how I’ve acted when been in psychosis (which isn’t anything too crazy, but just seems embarrassing! ) and would love to know if others feel the same
I need to know if all people with this illness know they have it. How will I know if someone understands that it is schizofrenia they have. And do someone with schizofrenia laugh or smile out of the blue for nothing. And do they whisper to themselves. My neighbor was diagnosed with it. Is the laughing and whispering maybe caused by delucions or hallucinations. I realy want yo assist and understand him better. He is very quiet and I will never ask him if he hear or see something. And he does not speak out about what he experience. It must be so hard for him.
Thanks for sharing genuinely, you're really brave ❤
May I make you a compliment? You are very honest in your videos and you bring your thoughts with clearness and joy. I understand more now what schizophrenia means to somebody. Thank you for that.
When I saw you for the first time I thought you were the daughter of the wonderful actress Julie Andrews ( The Sound of Music). You look a little bit like her, in her younger days, at least I think. She is such a warm and nice person. You too and that is a compliment.
Well, take care. I wish you and your family a very happy life! Thank you for all your interesting information.
Mental health is extremely complicated.
For me, what I experience feels nearly impossible to explain.
I got diagnosed with psychosis in 2022, but never believed i had it.
I even experienced a few of these ‘delusions’ when I was a kid.
Having Adhd and Ocd while having have smoked weed for 3 years as an adolescent is just a bad mix.
Although marijuana was absolutely amazing at first. My behaviour began to become stranger. Although i was very strange as a kid. Marijuana must’ve amplified all of this.
I believe i’m different to everyone else and am very special, which i know is true as everybody is literally special and different to everyone else.
If i sit and close my eyes and let things be how they are, my legs feel miles long and my body feels very very large.
And then i think well i am very large compared to very small things such as atoms.
I feel like when i meet new people they get this special feeling because they are ‘talking to a person who seems to have this unexplainable god like presence’.
I also feel, but do not quite believe, like my thoughts are coincidentally coinciding with things going on around me.
I also believe tik tok, reels, youtube shorts etc are EVIL.
So i made an instagram account dedicated to the practice of commenting on posts saying to people to get off social media as it is very bad for your mental health and that the media is not your friend.
I believe The media is distracting you from your life. They do not want us to be awaken.
Although i experience these things and much more unexplainable things,
There is always that ‘self’ that is the watcher, the pure witness of what is happening in this human life.
And that witness never dies.
death is not an end.
Peace from Australia 🇦🇺