Why You SHOULD Tell Your Crush How you Feel | A Video Essay
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- čas přidán 28. 11. 2022
- Ask her out, you never know. I'm rooting for you. I hope you enjoyed today's video!
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Like, comment, and subscribe king! - Zábava
TL;DR - Ask her out kings (sorry I got a bit repetitive towards the end lol)
😭i got no chance RIP
@@vfxgolden Take the shot you NEVER know
@@vfxgolden it's either you get the girl or get a heavy ass character development arch, win win bro you got it
@@quackykwulala5066 i didnt even ask her and she said she doesnt like me like that... 😭
@@quackykwulala5066 EXACTLY!
Pro tip: you can't just go and ask your crush out randomly, you gotta start talking to her first
That's what I'm trying to do but when I ask her questions about her self or her interests, it just ends up sounding like an interview/interrogation (please help)
@@lunarbat6009 Does it sound like an interrogation because she seems uninterested and doesn't ask you questions back?
@@necromancer871 @necromancer871 yea its like that. The conversation just doesn't really go anywhere and she doesn't answer questions back ☹️
I don't think she's uninterested bc she doesn't really show it
@@lunarbat6009 Thats the point. This video is bullshit. It only works in a society where women even bother with average men. But we live in one where 80% of the women are going for the top 5% of men. The rest are invisible to them, so its impossible to even start a conversation with most women let alone ask one out.
@@lunarbat6009talk to her like you having fun spending time with her and not just because you like her (I don't really know how to explain this better than this)
If it wasn’t for this video, I wouldn’t have even gotten the courage to ask my homies mom out. Now, I am one step closer to being a step dad!
Same bro
Wilddd but hey you do you my guy 😂
That's my man right there
let him cook 🔥
👑👑👑👑👑
The single worst but also best thing that ever happened to me was asking my crush out. The girl who I was madly in love with rejected me, and it was so utterly horrific. I thank God every single day for her saying no.
It hurt me so bad. Felt like the end of the world. Felt like I’d never be happy again. It took months to get over it. But now? I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. The amount of confidence that gave me was insane. Showed me I can do scary things even if I’m terrified. Really taught me a valuable life lesson that you don’t always get everything you want, but that’s okay. Since her, I’ve started self improvement so much. I started working out intensely as a way to cope with the rejection. Thanks to her, I now have a 6 pack and huge biceps. I do things for myself more these days. I’m stronger, more confident, happier. I have a healthier and more realistic understanding of relationships. I’m more independent, and I love myself a whole lot more.
Ask your crush out. Even if they say no. So worth it in the long run.
what if when u do u mighjt loose that person
Yeah. Been in love with someone for like 5 years, asked her, got rejected, and now lm glad i got rejected because shes never managed to be in a relationahip for over 4 months.
but did you enjoy talking to her did u enjoy her presence do you still talk to her and is there anything thats not the same and if yall dont talk do you miss it@@boiledtea479
@@notghostej It really f*cking hurts. I’m still friends with the girl but in a way I did lose her. I lost a future marriage with her, I lost my dream with her. I felt quite alone and depressed for ages, but it gets better. Even to this day it still hurts a bit that I don’t have her, but I have grown so much and realise that I suppose it wasn’t meant to be even if I still love her a lot. If you lose her then you lose her. It hurts but it does get better with time.
@@boiledtea479 That’s rough man, and I’m sorry she said no. Glad you’re seeing the bright side of it though and maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. Wishing you the best man.
I'm a 17 year old girl and told a guy about my feelings, got rejected in such a manner by the gentlemen that i feel absolutely free, we were and are friends, i wasn't expecting a relationship out of us, he have a crush on someone else, we talked for 40 minutes afterwards, and i must say am grateful to have such friends with me
Edit: i just added comas cause someone got a stroke reading this earlier
Rejection aside, that's really nice to hear
i had a stroke reading that
@@Melvin-14 lol
I’m a girl too, and I’m thinking of confessing to this guy, who is very handsome and everyone also agrees with me, but he most likely has a gf (uh I saw him dancing with another girl) but my friend says that he might be single now, who knows? I think it might be a dumb move for me to confess because I’ve already seen him dancing with someone, but then again my friend telling me he might be single now is throwing me off 😭
@@GatozpartyAre you two friends? cause the one i told was actually my friend so i knew very well about his love life. Maybe ask him if he's single, as a friend.
As a female if a girl says ew after you confessed to her then there might be something wrong with you for liking her. No girl that has a heart would tell you "ew" that's messed up bro drop her QUICK
Yep, nowadays I'd say what guys are most afraid of isn't the rejection itself, but the chance of being publicly humiliated or made fun of for absolutely no reason, just cause you know, she felt like doing that and felt good about herself hurting someone like that.
I myself am like that, I'm not afraid to hear a no, but i want to avoid situations where they're trying their best to make me feel bad to make themselves feel good.
I never took a "no" as a loss or something that made feel defeated, they just don't see you that way , just as you don't see a lot of people like that, and that is fine, it's how the world works and applies to everything.
But, humiliating someone or publicly making fun of them is what causes a lot of guys to simply stop trying or think there's something wrong with them and like i said, today it seems to be quite common unfortunately......
Agreed. Doing that just means she's gross & doesn't give a rats ass about someone's feelings. Don't feel bad if you're rejected by a girl like this. I've rejected guys before but I make it clear that it's because I don't feel that way & would rather not be stuck in a relationship where I wasn't even interested to begin with.
I didn't even say "Ew, no." to the dude that wouldn't take NO for an answer. Up to plain stalker behavior & kept insisting he had a "glow up" to get me interested. In truth his attitude was awful, that's why I said no.
Mostly I try to give someone a chance, a date or two. Because I know it takes guts! I've been rejected myself 😅 But I'd never humiliate someone, that's just... Wrong.
@@_fussyfangsif it comes to someone treating you like shit, then giving them an "ew" isn't morally reprehensible
@@mahogania5536 Morally it's not bad.
But it's not good either.
And don't lean too far into it.
@@drifter2391Tbf don’t expect people to be nice to you if you can’t even be nice to them, and that can be any situation
Ok, but I don’t think I can talk to a biblically accurate angel
AYE ! You never know
@@KingTheodore100 true
Real
I can’t tell if that’s a good thing or a bad thing since they look absolutely terrifying.
neither a 2D big tiddy highschool anime onee-san 😔💔
"If you spend your time chasing butterflies, they'll fly away, If you spend your time making a beautiful garden, the butterflies will come to you. And if they don't come, you still have your garden."
I watched this video a month after it came out. At the time there was a girl that I liked but was too scared to ask her out, this video along with the support of friends helped me build the courage to ask her. She's now my girlfriend and we've been together over 6 months now, still going strong. I'm glad this video showed up in my recommended again so I can say thank you for playing a part in giving me the confidence to shoot my shot. Ended up being the best thing I ever did. I hope you have a great day. ^^
good job king
Still together bro?
Let's gooooo, SonicKai! 💙
Congratulations! I'm happy for you two. Y'all still together?
Congrats king
if you spend your time chasing butterflies, they'll fly away. If you spend your time making a beautiful garden the butterflies will come to you, and if they don't come, then you still have that beautiful garden
this advice applies to both genders and im LIVING for it. cool analogy!
If your main goal is to get butterflies and the garden doesn't work, then you failed. A beautiful garden requires maintanence - watering the plants, cutting bushes, etc. If the purpose isn't met, there's no point in maintaining that garden. In other words, if you don't get the butterflies, you'll be stuck with an ugly garden that you have to take care of.
I would like this but it would ruin the 69 likes it already has
@@ssbcakeman6443you missed The point, it's an analogy, you don't make The garden for The butterflies, you make It for yourself or in other words you improve yourself to grow as a person, not for The girl you like, sure, you gotta Go after her, but not fundamentally change yourself for someone else, Trust me, that always ends up bad
@@nicholassgobero You misunderstood the analogy. The analogy is saying that you're changing for the girl. But as a consolation if you didn't get the girl then you still have your beautiful transformation. That's the meaning of the analogy. That's where the problem is. The analogy is saying if you didn't have the butterfly then you still have the beautiful garden. If you don't get the butterfly then what's the point of having the garden in the first place? You still have to do maintenance for the garden and yet you still didn't have any butterfly in it. See the point?
Best advice I can give, as a girl myself, is to not ask right away if you've only been talking 2 days. It can come off as creepy. Give it time, hang out as much as you can so you can get to know each other. Also, keep in mind that everyone is human & flawed. There will be no "perfect girl."
I dated my friend for years, gave the geeky guy a chance. He turned out to be such a gentleman & so fun to be with. We had nearly the same interests so that helped too. We fell out of love after some distance was put between us, but heck my dude was surprised I ever even agreed to a date. He told me he kept thinking I would say no. We're still friends to this day since things ended in a positive note, we just weren't feeling like we were going anywhere with the relationship.
Question: Is there a good way to get to know a girl better cause I ask questions about her/interests but it feels more like an interrogation cause the conversation isn't going anywhere
@@lunarbat6009 Really depends.
Scenario 1: Are you asking her open ended questions? (Not just yes/no stuff). If so maybe try more follow up questions if she's being bland
Scenario 2: If she's purposefully being dry, then just leave her. She ain't worth your time and you can do so much better.
@@lunarbat6009 try asking something relatable. Like family life, childhood, events, weird dreams you get sometimes, issues with friends, or life in general. Sometimes the conversation may even end up becoming deep
i feel like you've already done half of what i mentioned but you get the idea 😭
@@lunarbat6009 Yeah, I totally understand what you mean. I’ve been there before too. Try talking about things you have in common, if not go for something relatable. Maybe you have class together, know someone in common, both have siblings? Or you can talk about places you’d like to go to one day.
When all else fails, you can let them talk more about a certain thing they feel passionate about and include thoughts about that there to make the conversation more organic.
I am by no means a relationship expert, but I think great communication is a good way to start any kind of relationship with someone 🙂
@@Chibi_Kitteh I already tried asking all that lol
i confessed after a month of hesitation, I wasn't reject nor was i liked back, she just thanked me and at that point i knew i had to focus more on myself
I know a friend who got rejected so many times that it's not even funny, but all those rejections made turned him into a cool and down to earth dude
It's not always as simple as telling them. In my case I keep ending up stuck in toxic relationships after seeing a girl's true colors once we're dating. Now I always approach girls I like with extreme caution and avoid starting relationships at all unless I'm 100% sure that they're not insane first.
I understand man, but I believe you're smart to maneuver around those bad girls, king. Be aware of those crazy girls, but if you TRULY like her go for it! That's all I'm saying
Spoiler alert! They're all insane.
@@Mellow3300 Sometimes insane is a good thing. You just gotta find the insane that’s right for you.
@@Oliver_DaNinjahell nah
@@theworldmayneverknow3876 Chess
Don't forget to do it when you both know eachother long enough, don't do it after 2 days of falling for her. When you two know eachother atleast for a good amount of time is when it's worth to try
That’s right king! Great take!
Okay but what if my first interaction with this person ever was "Hey I think you're cute"
@@RainbowKittyy That's one way to start I suppose lol
That's where it gets confusing for me bro. If ur already talking to them u might as well already be with em. I mean it ain't like it is impossible nowadays because nobody tries, the hardest part is just talking to them normally without getting smacked by a phone camera and put all over tiktok and shit because drama queens are drama queens. I think once u talk to them u pretty much got em.
Uh, but if that girl isnt your classmate or whatever. Lets suppose you just spotted her outside... If you approach her it becomes obvious that you somehow interested in her, isnt it?
And also... if you dont have same friends with this girl to hang out with then what else can you do to spend time with her except asking her out?
Either I am just dumb, cuz i am not a native speaker. But fix me if im wrong. Asking out - means aks her for a date? Or confess that you have a crush on her?
Here's my experience that no one asked for. I fell in love with my best friend. I met her at high school, and at the beginning, she was just a friend and thought she was kinda cute. Then I went to university and lost contact with her, but I didn't like my career so I changed it and went to another university, and there I found her again, prettier than ever and, in general, better than ever, we were so happy we would study together. Sadly she has a boyfriend, and when I decided I'd tell her I like her and then I heard about it, I backed out.
We continued being friends and forged a better relationship, to a point that now I consider her more than just my best friend. One day at a party, I felt kinda bad about my repressed feelings, so I decided I'd tell her, I was scared cause I thought she would see me differently in a bad way, but actually she was touched, then I told her how I felt about her in general and how much I cared about her, she told me that at some point she came to like me too, but then she met her boyfriend who she's really happy with.
Man, I do not regret at all telling her about my feelings. It felt like taking a big weight off my back.
Today, we are still friends, and let me tell you, we are much closer together, we are more open to each other in general, and I feel like we have a really strong bond built on trust, honesty and love.
What I'm trying to say is that, even when I was scared about rejection, I got something even better, I got closer to the one I love the most, and one of the people that matters most to me. So, even if you're scared, maybe you can win much more. And if you get rejected, there's so many great people out there, so there will always be room for love with someone, always.
this video helped me bro i asked my crush if she liked me and she liked me back thanks man
I'm about to be 18 in a couple months, and I haven't even held a girl's hand romantically. However, looking at it like that discards most of my efforts in the recent past. I remember that only 3 years ago, I was stuttering over every word when talking to pretty girls, but now I can actually hold a conversation and act nonchalant. After 6 rejections, I have been forced to look within myself more intently and question all aspects of my life. The best things in life are indeed on the opposite of fear. Thank you for creating such an inspiring video.
THATS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT KING ! I’m proud Fr:)
I wish you luck in your future king👑
the 22 yo me : 👀😂
King🙏🏿
The fact that you found 6 girls you were interested in was impressive enough. You'll def find someone at this rate. I don't have anyone who I even want to ask out
I recently asked a girl out and she said yes. After 3 rejections between different girls, I found one, and my god is she a sweetheart, I want to spend every moment with her. I'm not even that attractive or funny, yet I found a girl who cares and genuinely loves me. So remember Kings, ask her out, if she says no, improve yourself if she says yes you secured the bag.
Congrats dude
Your comment really got me, thanks 🙏 ❤
Nah don’t improve yourself for a girl, improve yourself for yourself
@@blueliam Fair. Don't mean you gotta be single
:) hope youre doing good
Don’t take too long to ask them out. Of course, talk with them a few times before that and be friendly and nice, but don’t go on the route of trying to develop a friendship prior to asking them on a date. Do that while they are just a crush and don’t let yourself fall in love, because the odds are that the other person won’t feel the same and you will also lose the friendship you built. The biggest mistake teenagers make in their romantic lives is falling in love before dating. It’s much easier to move on if you are rejected by a person you simply find attractive than by someone you fell deeply in love with, who you deem as one of your best friends and who you feel like you depend emotionally on. When you become an adult, that doesn’t happens so much, but when you are in high school and even in college, people tend to do that a lot.
I have this exact problem... I become too good of friends with them and then I get scared of telling them how I feel.
Yeah I became friends with a girl I liked and when she said no after telling her how I felt, she started to avoid me, even though I was perfectly fine being friends.
I'm almost 18 now, and I've never landed myself a girlfriend and never really had a "crush" either. I mean, there were girls who were pretty and make me nervous to talk to, but I just wanted someone to love me in that way. I've seen the rough sides of relationships from my friends and family, so I'm scared of just about all the outcomes, and I know there wont be a "perfect girl", but I'm definitely seeing how I can be off-putting to others. This video is inspirational, but I don't know if I have the strength to go out and do this yet.
You're still very young bro! If you begin some serious self-improvement stuff now (nofap, clean living, gym, keeping promises to yourself, trying new stuff, being a good and reliable person for your friends and family), in just a year you'll be feeling amazing, confident and far ahead of your peers. That will attract a lot of people to you, not just a future crush.
I'm only taking this stuff seriously at 22 and I wasted the last 4 years of my life since I was 18 doing the most stereotypically dumbass shit ever - smoking weed, playing video games, drinking, not socialising, not upholding promises or being reliable, eating junk food, never exercising, and just in general being a piece of shit lol.
Had I started getting my act together at 18, I'd be in an even better place now. But I've been improving a lot lately. I could have gotten myself a girlfriend from my first crush, who I met a few months back, unfortunately due to the circumstances of how I 'met' her, I waited too long to tell her and she is with someone else now. She was single for a bit, so had I told her sooner, maybe something could have come of it, as I felt we got along really well. Although to be fair, due to the situation of how we met I wasn't in a position to tell her sooner anyway, and I say maybe because she ended up going back to her ex so it's clear where her heart lies, but it's all good. I'm glad I did tell her, it got it off my chest, and she was cool about it, sadly we seem to have gone our separate ways. Anyway, sorry for the ramble. Have a good one!
@@sircharcoalthegoatik you'll find someone good
Just focus on being autonomy supportive and that should solve most relationship problems right there.
Also learn what you truly implicitly want. For me I learned by drawing upon the platonic and emotional intimacy I already have with my friends. Also, physical intimacy (like cuddling) is really important to me, and generally what I crave when I feel lonely. Also a safe place to explore my sexuality. A partner would be someone who can help me meet those needs while you can help them meet theirs, and feel awesome doing it! (a relationship!).
Growing up, I was rejected by a lot of boys, and they would always say that the pretty girls are skinny and all. I was a child so I would feel really bad about it. Now im on my late teens and I got a personality glow. Tried to be less angry about life and just tried to enjoy my teenhood as much as I can. It landed me in a almost 2 year relationship. And I realized how immature I am compared to him, so I'm trying my best for him and for myself. I feel way better now. I just wanted to say that sometimes, personal growth is everything.
I'm happy for you! Keep it up queen 👑
W
Based BR GF
being a girl helps.
I think the hardest but most important lesson I've had to learn from rejection is "Just because I like her, does not make her special". What I mean by that is that she's still a human being with flaws and insecurities like me, and this isn't gonna be my only chance in life to get a life partner. There are plenty of people who can be a better fit for me than her. And I know it's hard, it's really f*cking hard, because if u think she isn't special until you get something out of her, doesn't that mean that u don't truly love her? No! Just don't put all the hopes of ur life into a girl simply because she was kind or pretty. It takes a long time to get to know someone and u can't truly love someone until you understand their deepest flaws and insecurities and they reciprocate that love. The average lifespan of a human is 70 years, don't worry u have plenty of time, just take it slow and u'll find the right person. And don't blame urself when they reject u, because then they weren't the right person and realise that sometimes ur gonna be wrong and that's ok.
You're spitting facts dude this is all 1000℅ true even if some sounds cliche. Its cliche for a reason. If things don't work out with a girl, its ok, you will survive and grow from it. We run away desperately from emotions like sadness and disappointment and social embarrassment. But these emotions cannot harm you, we shouldn't be so afraid of experiencing them. Happiness will come. You just need to believe in your own ability to improve, and its just a matter of time
mannnnnn, really liked your comment. thanks for posting
This was great, thank you
My advice for boys (as a girl) is that the best thing you can do is either body language meant to attract them or show your attraction because girls love when your confident like that. If you're close enough you could dance with her, or just give her a little twirl. Or you could try and be their friend or atleast rly nice to them because they'll remember u and prefer to talk to u more if you're nicer than every other dude. You may also do both
1. You lose nothing.
2. You might gain something
3. You won't waste your emotions on someone who might not be for you either and move on faster.
4. Start by actually communicating
I'm personally scared because we've been friends for so long, I'm worried that it will end the wholesome relationship we have. But this gave me courage and made me see things I never would have thought of. Thanks brother.
I’m in the same boat 🫠 he and I are great friends and I’d never want to ruin our friendship if we ever do get in a romantic relationship and it goes wrong, or if I told him I liked him and he didn’t reciprocate and it just became awkward. Good luck to you, bro! 🫡
@@so_much_for_jj Thanks so much! You too!
@@so_much_for_jj wait are you a dude
Nah, just go for it. Rather have the pain of doing it than the pain of regret.
@@silverhetch3383 Told her a while ago. Some bum ass told her before I could
"Never be guided by the feeling of lust or love"
-Miyamoto Musashi
That means that you should be logical then? I believe you should be logical but still follow your feelings. Find a logical way to follow your feelings. Logic without heart is behaving like a machine, a robot, and that is not you.
Jesus said it first
@@ghostlypitou2746wasnt musashi like 500 bc?
@@user-jr3zr2mp9c you seriously dude? 1 Jesus is eternal, he’s the first and the last 2. Show me any historical documentation of the real life musashi saying that, he has very few documented writing and non have said that phrase. 3. A historical manage character saying something in a manga doesn’t know mean that historical figure said that.
@@ghostlypitou2746 "a historicsl character saying someone said something doesnt mean the character said that"
Bro do i have news for you about the scripture
I waited 1½ years, slowly decaying, to be honest with her. I always knew she didn't feel the same, but that mixture of fear and hope made me pursuing that way. In the end I understood the best thing was to tell her anyways, because our friendship turned toxic, and it would have gotten worse if I waited more. You can't suppress your feelings, pretending every time it's needed, it's just impossible, you'll feel worse and worse as the time passes, and for nothing. The best way is being honest, always, for yourself and your loved ones. Yourself because you don't need to pretend anymore, and for your loved ones because you may convince them that you're friends, but as your happiness starts to collapse, even your "friendship" will, and they will suffer too
oh no, its been a little over a year for me now and I'm starting to feel worse and worse each passing day. also yeah, she def doesn't feel the same
As a girl in high school, I’m not sure if any guys like me or not, but if one does, I’m praying he’ll see this video and decide to make a move. Because as long as he’s not a complete loser (terrible grades, no motivation, no hobbies, bad hygiene, bad behavior) I’m willing to give a dude a chance, and hell, maybe something beautiful will come out of that chance. But nobody would ever know if no one ever tries.
i did have a crush that had a crush on me too, but we were so embarrassed that we never really "dated", I just find it hard too even speak to someone, let alone attempt to make friends.
Same
That happened to me too… we both were awkward teens and didn’t confess
I am literally unable to make friends if they dont talk to me first. I just stay silent whenever I try to start a conversation with anyone
As an very shy introvert awkward guy i suggest u should still approach the person u like and if it's too much for u then u could start with communicating with that person online to build momentum and when u finally have the courage to talk to her irl then go for it if u still can't after that then force yourself to do it and the results would be worth to find out since u wouldn't know unless u try and who knows u might even become that person's friend and from there u start to build it up more if u want to ;)
This is literally me rn bro 💀
I searched up "how to confess" completely deprived by fear of rejection, YOU JUST EARNED ANOTHER SUB BRO👍
I was always into girls during my middle school years, but once I hit high school I had to make a couple new friends since during COVID, none of my friends showed up to school in person, and so I did. I ended up meeting this other guy, and we became friends pretty quick since we shared a ton of interests and hobbies. After a while, I felt somewhat of an interest in him, which scared me a lot. I would always ask "Why do I like him??" I asked myself, and it genuinely terrified me that I ended up liking someone of the same
gender.
So not only was I scared of this realization, I was also afraid that if I told him, not only would he find out, itd ruin the relationship we had.
Despite always hanging out with him I would always just be really sad afterwards, so I decided to bite the bullet and tell him. Despite being rejected, he still wanted to hang out and be friends, as he genuiely did enjoy my company and me as a person. Even now into my Senior year we're still great friends.
My situation is quite the opposite. When I started having feelings I stepped back to access and think about how I felt. I decided I did have feelings for this girl. So I asked her out. The problem is she already knew somehow despite me telling literally no one. She then went on to state how there is no good quality’s about me in any way and that she was stringing me on and using me. Then she said “I’m just kidding”. I replied with “wether you aren’t or are joking I’m done I don’t want to be your friend your boyfriend or anything to you” then I left and she proceeded to aggressively and concerningly stalk me and my sister and then my girlfirend who I may add is perfect to me for the next 3 months and a half and then would move away and then mail concerning images and information of my whereabouts for those past 3 and a half months proving she stalked me. She had a screw loose.
That's a lot more than just a screw loose holy shit. I hope you are better now
bullet dodged
6 months update?
You, sir, dodged a fucking nuclear warhead.
bro that's fuckeddd, get a restraining order if u can. That bitch is crazyy.
If she says “ew” when you ask her out or explain your feelings, then you just dodged a bullet fr
real
i think the hardest thing is dealing with the struggle of: "do they not like me for who i am or for who they dont know i am?"
and the best way to find out is to start talking to them beforehand, a month is a good time to tell them but not straight away, then you dont have to deal with that question, and you'll know she likes you because you're a little nerdy, or that he doesnt like you because hes gay.
at the end of the day, you'll find someone, whether platonically or romantically, that you want to spend the rest of your life with.
this video has some great points, not just for asking out a girl, but for facing fear and rejection in general
remember to give them a good impression of who you are first before hand. It doesn't matter how effortless and confident you are, if she is emotionally mature and she doesn't know you she ain't gonna go out with you until she knows you aint a creep. Make it easier on yourself and make sure she knows who you are before asking her out.
but i am a creep. what do i do now?
@@hokagehunter_6991 pretend to be someone you aren't until the crushing weight of undiagnosed impostor syndrome takes you to your therapist where you will learn the name of what you are suffering from. upon learning you have impostor syndrome the among us flashbacks will send you spiraling into a blissful rage the likes of which no man can comprehend
@@quatromanthefourth4413best reply, ever.
@@quatromanthefourth4413sigma reply
@@quatromanthefourth4413You take the award of best reply in the century lmao
Actually, I've learned from my experience that there's at least 1 VERY good reasom not to tell her: it might not be her your in love with, but your own unconscious projection of her (your anima), in which case chances are you have a terrible, lacking, or non-existent mother figure. To know if it's actually your anima, you won't see her as a person but as an image, as bright as the sun, where you're conjuring up all sorts of fantasies, no matter how realistic you make them be, that are completely unalligned with her actual personality and just over-all uniqueness as a person in general. If you're doing this, chances are you fantasize about yourself as well while you're at it, to be charming, handsome, and succesful, which means there's a good chance you're in fact not those things in reality, far from it even, which would lead the confession to an incredible downhill rejection and then a further descent spiralling downward through a hellish period of despair and depression. I've had a crush in primary, middle, and high school, all 3 different girls. First 2 I was completely infatuated, and I never confessed. Learnt my lesson in high school, but accidentally slipped up and confessed elsewhere, luckily inarticulately, so no one understood, forgot, and quickly moved on. I don't regret my decisions ONE BIT, and hopefully my mistakes might save your some trouble. Feel free to tell me if i'm wrong, i'm still perplex by my love history though. And don't let this be a cheap reason for you to back down from confessing. If you're smarter than i was, and you think it might work, then by all means, go for it. Sorry for the long text haha, turns out i had way more to say than i thought.
TL;DR= if you love her image and not actually her as a person, don't go for it and put all that energy into improving you and your relationship with your mom first.
I've never known my mom. I've never had a proper mother figure. I've also never had feelings this strong for someone and she's been my best friend for almost a year. Idk what to do.
@@theusmadden2690 oh hey man, you're different than me cus you actually managed to become close friends already. Don't let my loner experience discourage you. Here's some practical advice you might like.
If you're confused, then you should generally take that as a bad sign of naivety as you're prone to sudden unexpected problems that could wash right over you like a tsunami. Read/listen to others' experience of love (preferrably long term love), watch romance stories if you have to, so you can get a general idea of the hurdles to come in a relationship and prepare for the solution early (dw, there's plenty of romance media in the net). Learn a bit about personality compatibility, specifically the Big Five, so you can reasonably identify your type of relationship and more accurately predict what you and your potential partner needs and desires. Learn what it means to act in the midst of hardship (AKA, learn to also be motivated by negative emotion) and how to let go in order to get something more valuable (AKA how to sacrifice).
And far above all, tell the truth, or at least don't lie. If you try to bend reality, it'll just snap back with 10x the force. And if you fill your head with nonsense enough, you won't be able to distinguish between truth and lies and then you can't problem solve.
I'm not sure abt your mom situation since there aren't enough details, but it's always helpful to see some problems other people who also lack a mother figure have and assume you'll have them, just to be safe.
The advice i gave here took me years to figure out on my own, requiring a pretty hefty conceptual framework before i could have understood it all, so don't be alarmed if you don't get it at first. It's ok to take some time to digest them, since these are the kinds of advice I've gathered that could just keep being digested repeatedly and still offer new substance.
Again, i didn't realize i had much more to say xd
@@theusmadden2690 Not everyone’s journey is the same, and I’d claim stuff like this is trial and error.
I’ve also had strong feelings for a friend, probably the closest friend I’ve ever made. And there were so many factors to made doubt and feel like she felt similarly.
In the past I’ve pushed the feelings and try to forget about it, this time was so strong tho, and I was tired of the cycle and wanted to try things differently. The thing this time was that I didn’t really find her attractive at first,so getting to know her is how it kicked in. That was one sign to me that this was different than most of my other crushes. I believe I love her, though more recently I feel like my romantic love has mixed with friend love. It just feels a little different, that’s how I can describe it. It’s new to me so I guess I gotta see how it goes.
I’ve gotten more courage to tell her how I’ve felt throughout, but it’s hard sometimes knowing how she can be, but I might do it.
What i wanted to get to tho, my take at least, is that you shouldn’t let your upbringings define what you can do and stuff
If there’s something you can learn from your experience, then yeah consider it. But you have the power to become a better you and take those chances. Even if you’re rejected (maybe you won’t!) you can learn a lot and keep going
@pollothegreat3377 a few days ago I was able get over it. I realized how harmful the whole situation was to my self and her because she knew and it was making things awkward. We're back to normal now and even better friends than we were before and is helping me out with someone else now. I do believe that my lack of an affectionate female role in childhood has affected me in some way but as long as I'm aware of it I won't be manipulated by it. Before you make any decisions I strongly advise so have a proper conversation on your feelings with them. Not in such a way where you expect them to love you back on The spot but to have a genuine conversation to understand both sides to make the best decision moving forward. It may sound scary but I promice it will make things so much easier, if it's not mutual than you're free to kive on without being scared of what you're missing and if it is than yippee. Sorry for the novel but I wish you the best of luck.
@@theusmadden2690 good to know you’ve worked through it, I hope I can sort it out better and have a convo about it.
Best to you as well.
I'm pretty loyal when it comes to having a crush and not switching easily
Dang dude, watching your vid and readin these comments has actually been just what I needed in life just now. Thanks man for what you do!!
I waited too long to tell her how I felt, and now that she is with someone else, it hurts so bad that I'm not sure if I could ever see myself with anyone else. However, if there is a next time, I won't wait; I'll tell them how I feel right away and won't let them pass me by.
I WISH YOU WELL ON YOUR FUTURE ENDEAVOR. GOOD LUCK KING
I had a crush in my life five times, and I got rejected four times. The one I got accepted was just some "fantasy fairy tale romance," as it ended up with somebody I used to know when we were more mature. It's just better if you find a good friend, are in a good community, and have a stable life, cuh.
Always be honest to yourself, that's all matter.
Now that I’ve been out of high school for a little over a year now (class of ‘22) I’ve been thinking back on the crushes that I had throughout high school and I do regret not even trying to pursue a relationship further than friendship with the crush I had in my senior year. That was due to the fact, that I had gotten rejected the previous year and I was too scared to feel that again so I didn’t even try. I do have to admit that it likely would’ve worked out fine if I had the confidence to try since I was starting to learn more about her personality like what kind of music she likes and what she does for fun. She even asked me about something I was trying to achieve in a video game that I was playing at the time. I don’t wish to go back and try to change that since I’ve learned to not let fear hold me back from the things that I want to pursue. I just wish that at the time, I would’ve at least tried and if it failed accept it or if it worked out to enjoy the time with that person. She was the prettiest girl too, she was pretty popular and I’m the opposite which was probably where the fear started from
It's like God sent me to watch this video, dude Ive been worried about telling this girl I have a crush on her for like 3 months and I just can't seem to be able to because of my shyness. I have even tried to engage in conversations with her and failing to even do that made me feel more worthless cuz I've also been worried about what could go wrong focusing more on the negative outcomes then on the posible positive ones but in this video I've gained the confidence I need to tell her and I'll try to speak to her and be honest to her about my feeling, even if I end up being rejected I think now I can accept it with an open mind
...So... Did you already confess or any update? 3 months (to me) is a really long span of liking a female romantically, you can do this king 👍
@@AMercenary...Withaheart Well I haven't told her yet but I've engaged in conversations with her and I'm getting to know her better like the things she likes and enjoys doing, the things she doesn't like, but I haven't really told her how I feel yet, I think I'll take my time and when I feel it's the right time I will
I know you said we shouldn’t be fearful of rejection and should be confident and talk to these girls. But there’s a point where after many rejections and seemingly nothing really changing you can’t help but be fearful and feel you aren’t good enough. Women do not find me attractive in the slightest, it doesn’t matter how confident I am or what I do I just can’t seem to change that fact in their eyes. And at this point that’s fine. I know I’ll be alone forever but if that’s how it has to be then so be it
Someone will find you attractive, never give up bro.
@@sliteturtlez that’s what I’m saying! Facts man
@@sliteturtlezmaybe one day. Thank you.
My point exactly
Keep trying 👑 you got the support of some random dude in the youtube comments section! What a milestone! Jokes aside I feel you man.
My problem is weird; I technically got friend zoned but we are still very, very close friends and talk daily. If you were to ask if I feel the same as I did, I’d say yes because I want to be honest. It’s not that she didn’t find me attractive as a guy, it was that I am just that; a guy. In other words, she’s into women which is something I can appreciate; it just means she likes what I like! Jokes aside, the dilemma is no longer the desire to be more than friends, it’s the inability to let go. I appreciate our friendship and, if it weren’t for another close friend accidentally letting the secret out, she’d have never known about how I felt. Back to the present, I’m not here for advice on dating, no, I am here to figure out how to forget; I want to forget about how I feel while retaining a friendship since she is someone I can openly talk to. Finished the video and learned more than I anticipated but it will be applicable mostly in a different scenario; any suggestions/advice is welcome.
I think its not a good idea and healthy trying to forget and push away our feelings. But letting go is hard isn't it? I kinda understand, because Im also trying to forget someone. Maybe its impossible unless I get brain washed or they disappear from my or this world.
Have you tried getting a new perspective on her? Or any chance she's into guy in the future?
Hope it helps you somehow, and sorry for my clumsy writing
back then i had a crush on a girl who had a crush on me, but when i confess she somewhat rejected me but in a nice way that it wont hurt as much (doesn’t matter how it is, rejection is still painful 💀).
back then i didn’t know how to “confess” to someone even if that person likes me but im glad that i did because now i feel so much better and not constantly thinking about her and all the possibilities 24/7 now. It still stings whenever i think back at it and how well it could’ve gone if i know how to actually confess to her, but at least now i can use that experience and learn from my mistakes and avoid doing the same thing in the future. My advice is that if you truly have a crush on someone (even if that person likes you back or not) be friends with them first before confessing, if you just confess straight away then the chances of you getting rejected is really high.
I talked to her and told her but she walked away without saying anything. Her friends looked at me weird and she also did and ever since I just hope I never see her in the hallways and it went from loving being in the same room as her, to hate bein around her. I like another girl that is very quiet and is a Christian just like me and I would love to talk to her even as just friends, but I've decided to leave this teenage-love aside, and focus on myself so I can be a goldly man for that woman that will raise my children.
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. -Wayne Gretzky" - Michael Scott
Cultured🗣
I had to click off the video cause it's not always about fear and rejection. I decided to watch the video cause I truly am in a rough spot where if I were to confess feelings, it would affect my entire friend group long term... it's just that complicated sometimes. But I hope this video helps most people, keep up the good work man!
You end up confessing?
@@Nav20755 nah... if I ever do, it'll be years from now. Just taking one for the team. Even if I still have feelings, I don't really like her like that as much anymore and I'm like the only person who knows who she likes cause she trusts me, so I might as well just continue being that friend to her.
@@princepscretaceus1046 you're a good friend. Maybe you shouldn't be. Why not be greedy? Friend groups aren't assigned to you for life.
@@princepscretaceus1046 oh alright. I think though if this does mentally affect you, ypu should probably stop being friends but if it isnt then youre good
@@raresmocanu1743 I've decided I'm gonna confess at the end of this academic year, because I feel uncomfortable about the fact that she decides to tell me everything and I'm hiding something from her, I also feel like it's kind of a pathetic move to just be the guy best friend that secretly likes her...
didnt work im dead now goodbye
are you okay?
I hope we arent too late
If she said no, she wasn’t right for you. Keep your chin up and keep moving bro!
As a girl, I’m grateful my boyfriend shot his shot despite him being naturally reserved, shy and quiet. Granted my feelings for him were very mutual, but the fact he still told me how he felt first despite it being outside of his comfort zone made him extra cool to me. It made me feel special too that I’m able to bring that side of his personality out of him. So, guys especially if you’re getting fairly good signals that she likes you, shoot your shots.
Instructions unclear, sister punched my face.
What qualifies as good signs?
@@josiahwright3751 Sweet home Alabama 🦅
@@josiahwright3751wait a minute there mister
Care to explain what is a sign ? There's a girl in my class that I like a lot and we talk occasionally, and we get along rather well. When she goes for a cheerleading tournament I tell her that wish her a great time, because I do care for her, and replies by saying "thanks, -my name-". The fact that she takes the effort to write my name, should I take it as a sign ?
Because most other girls i talked to in the past were always responding by "thanks" or "thanks, you too". But her, she does take the extra step to write my name, which makes me feel special. Would that be a sign ? I don't know
Well i basically told my crush what i feel by being obvious about it, it didnt end well i ended up doing weird and creepy things(following her around, staring at her, etc.) And at the time i didnt know what i was doing, i was clueless on how my actions look. She also looks back at me from time to time in my mind i was saying maybe if she likes me too, but in reality, shes just being on guard because im a creep. In the end one of her friends told me about what i do and that she gets creeped out about my actions. So i got depressed(really depressed), hated myself and it lasted for a few months until i healed myself by having a better personality, mindset, and I even made new friends and established a friend group from scratch. I also started avoiding her, sometimes my body just runs away when i see her, its gotten a bit better now i dont run instinctively as often. Now I actually feel happy but, seeing her in class, she would sometimes look at me(i think shes looking at my eyes to sew if im looking at her) and i just, not look back at her. Its nearly the end, only 1 month more and ill stop going to that school cause ill go somewhere else, i think i wont ever be seeing her again after july
To sum up, I dont think telling her my feelings is good, i already messed up its too late now sadly. Ill wait for this to pass and hopefully move on in the future. Dont be depressed or hate yourself for what you did fellas, find ways to better yourself and forgive yourself. In my case i changed as a person and realized that the me then, didnt know what he was doing, but because of him, I became the me today. Thanks for reading hope its not too long, stay strong and always strive to be better.
Gonna ask out my crush in my dreams bro, thanks for the confidence
How did it go?
WISHING THE BEST! Remember, win or lose it’s all in your favor!
@@USSFFRU Guys my crush isn't real, they're in my dreams cause I don't currently have a crush 😭
lol
Ofc i did, got friendzoned :/
Same 😭
This video deserves a reward. I already learned these exact lessons from this video! Failure is part of success! Also, desperation is one of the best motivators.
Yessir king! Keep pushing and striving for more!
i am not talked to ever and abandoned by friends often, so i tend to just not develop a crush anymore, when i was even younger i said to myself that i gave up on love, now i just live by myself in every escenario, always kind and speaking happily to anyone who cares enough to give me the word, but i learned to not try hard anymore for anyone who isnt there
There's no best version of yourself cuz you can always be a better person by constantly improving
Thank you so much man, 6 months I've been dating this girl. happiest i have ever been in my life. you are a blessing man. stay true and have a wonderful life people, "All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.” - Walt Disney.
I'm 17, and I haven't had much love stories in my life, in fact, outside of one online relationship, I've had none. It's hard to explain why, but I just didn't look at the world right, I just thought that I was worthless and rejection would be the end of me, so instad of aproaching the people I had interest in, I just became close friends with them. This lack of confidence came from my excessive weight, but now I've started my journey by loosing it, and yes, I haven't reached the place I want in terms of body, I am deffenetly way more confident about my looks. It's been under a year from when I finally saw the world as I do today, and I do now feel like I have a shot at her accepting, though I got mood and paranoia problems now, at least my view is clear now. I'm planning on asking a girl out, I'm not sure what I should say, and I'm 90% certain I'll get rejected, but it's worth a try. I wont begin describing this girl, but just know that we're good friends and she has helped me a lot. My only problem is, I don't think I'll be able to deal with rejection in a way where it will help me, and I really don't know what to do about it, I will not let it stop me from shooting my shot, but the fear is there. Anyways, would like to know if there's any advice anyone can give me on any topic I've mentioned in my comment, besides that, great vid.
Very similar story, i just got rejected, but i rlly wanna see someone else succeed so what happened between u two?
@@madness_bomb9601 believe it or not, I haven't gotten the balls to do it yet. I'm trying to get into that spot where I think I'm ready. We got into the same class again, after school starts I will tell her. Sorry for what happend to you and I hope youre doing good. After I confess I'll get back here and tell you how it went.
19 years old here, ive been single almost my life (one relationship which i massively regret; i lost a very good friend by dating her) but ive asked friends out before, been rejected, and remained close friends after the fact. this advice is probably out of date rn but if itd help anyone else: i'd recommend making it absolutely clear that even if she rejects you, you'd like to continue being friends and that you won't ask her again. it sounds like she cares about you, and so would want to maintain your friendship; as someone who has also been confessed to by a friend i wasn't interested in, that was my number one concern. in the event of rejection id try to arrange for coffee with mutual friends to prove there's no hard feelings, and try to move on, although that last bit goes without saying of course. i hope whichever decision you made, everything went well!
@@toothfairy10133 well if you're interested in an update, I haven't confessed and I gave up on her because were going to different universities in different cities. We still remain close friends, even closer now. It's a relationship I cherish, I have gotten slightly better with confidence but I still dont know how to get to social events to meet new people since I dont get invited much. But, I'm doing better and thanks for the advice.
Rejection = character development👍🏻
Canon event
befriend your crush first, but just enough, so that you can have a solid foundation and have familiarity with each other even if you are not super close
Only do this though if you genuinely wanna become friends with them. Otherwise, you both will end up hurt if she doesn't reciprocate.
I see you for the first time and already subbed, really good video!🎉
I have a crush for years now, i don’t if she knows that I like her yet but she’s given signs though very mixed. 99% sure she’ll reject me but I’m going to take the risk. If anything it’s better to lose than to regret.
Did you confess? If yes, then how did it go? Hope it went well.
Broo tell us
Howd it go bro tell us
everything fun and games until she tells her friends, they tell the class, they tell the school and now ur getting bullied by the whole school
I have a close friend that went on a rant, saying that if you like that person, but you also fear of losing that person because of the friendship you already built, then suppress those feelings and not tell them. More or less, get rejected yourself before even potentially getting rejected by your crush. I think it depends on how you react to getting rejected. You could either still remain really close friends to where nothing really changes, have some awkwardness and distance for a certain amount of time, or just not be friends anymore. Sure, it sucks being rejected, but you choose on how you can move forward from that.
I feel like as I got older, being rejected many times, I've gotten to the point where I don't let it hurt me in the long run. If a girl rejects me or just not that interested in me after the date, I do thank them for their time for the date or even listening to what I had to say and just move forward from there. Interesting enough, one of the girls that rejected me, we somehow ended up being really close friends afterwards and it felt a lot more natural. It's fine to get rejected, but you also never know if you are going to get rejected unless you ask. It's easier said than done, but the answer will always be "no" unless you ask. How you act afterwards is on you.
Fascinating to know. I’ve never really had any crushes, but from friends experiences, we tend to like people we already know well and spend time with.
A month ago, (I think) I gathered up the courage to ask her out. I gave her a note and a week later, she gave me a note with her number. We went out (as frens) until I asked her if we should start to date she said no. Annnnnnnnddd thats when shit started to go downwards, alcohol was on my mind and her. After a while, the pain is there. But its manageable. Then I realized, damn I really did ask someone out and the girl had somewhat of interest in me. Something that I couldnt do a year ago. I now attempt to be better, observe my mistakes and be a good friend to my homies.
That is my promise.
and to those wondering how I did it. This is cringe but I always have the same words in my head to ignore fear.
"I am the master of my fear, fear is my servant"
Bro I found this on my home page at the right time, I’ve been struggling with my intrusive thoughts and anxiety over this girl that I really like but I’m not sure of the outcome and I get depressed by it all the time like 24/7. Shit sucks. So I thank you for having a video about this topic and my exact situation I am in life rn for helping me to overcome this sense of fear. Might take time to build that up but I have more confidence now that I will eventually tell her how I feel. Like the quote from Dune “fear is the mind slayer” that quote resonates so well and is so relevant considering it’s over 50 years old, fear really puts an image of expectation that you can’t accept and aren’t willing to see play out completely. Also another great quote from a book I read “You don’t have a right thing, you have a plateful of maybe a little less wrong” really speaks to me in a sense that all these things I think up in my head or scenarios of me asking her out aren’t right and that I should hope it’s a little less wrong to have my confession to her be more natural and more me then some full scenario I created in my head that I wish it could be like that but know that that’s most likely not the case. Great video, king and surely I will think back to this and your advice that has helped me gain a better realization of how I should go on with this thing that I’m so endlessly trapped in and that I need to break out of it and just go for it, and if it doesn’t work then I should take that negativity and better myself like you said.
I'm a lesbian, and this video inspired me to finally go out and ask my crush out to a homecoming dance. She said yes! Even though we decided to not commit to a relationship, it was still an amazing experience. I doubt you will ever see this comment, but I just want to say thank you for encouraging me and all the other kings and queens out there to finally do it. You rock!
I just helped out my friend this way and they did the same you did, along with the homecoming dance! I am a man but with something called emotional intelligence (where I come from only the gay men have that), not that it matters I’m mega insecure and tell myself lies convincing myself that others could view me as something of a creep; being the person I am I then set boundaries and everything becomes a loop of me worrying about someone/something and either invalidating myself or ending up with bleach in my mouth. I’m sorry for the rambling, and trauma and self invalidation aside, I told my friend to “Go commit lesbian! ❤” after they told me that they might have gotten sparks for another one of my friends during a sleepover. (I love girl friend-groups, I feel like I belong and I’m heard and I’m valued where as they guy friend-groups I have at home are all sporty spaghetti brains.)
i love how this vid went from ASK UR CRUSH to IMPROVE URSELF U GOT THIS
this showed up on my feed at literally the worst time 😭😭
i wanted to get to know my crush more, just because i moved a little too quickly in the past. and as soon as i was like close to confessing, HE SOMEHOW MANAGES TO GET A GIRLFRIEND. punching air tbh.
I never had a crush so this video helped me to look at the idea of what to do when you do have a crush. If I get a crush, I think the advice in this video will help. It seems clear-cut and concise to me.
Okay y'all, Freshman in college here. Just started out a week ago and I often run into a girl who I met at my university through an event in February. We never dated but she sat next to me at a lecture, asked me for a pencil, and we got to talking. Later that day I saw her again and I gave her my number. Over the next three weeks we talked and flirted and all that, and eventually I ended up going to prom with her. I was living in Pennsylvania at the time and she's in Louisiana. I met her parents and we had a great time, but the whole thing was strictly platonic. Almost immediately afterward she stopped texting me as much and started pulling away from our friendship. Initially I thought I came on too strong (even though we were never intimate) and down the line confronted her on our relationship not being as mutual. She said that we were good enough friends to where we could talk less, but considering that she went from texting me all day to very little was alarming. I should note that the whole time I've had feelings for her. A few weeks after this I confessed that to her and she shot me down, which was fine. We planned to both move on and be friends; her friendship means more to me than any romantic relationship would. But eventually I stopped instigating and she never reached out again. We haven't spoken substantively since and ever since I got to campus (with the exception of socially necessary small talk) she refuses to look me in the eye. It became very obvious several months ago that I need to move on, but just as I started seeing her again my feelings came back. And the more I think about it the more I realize that I'm in love with her, considering that she's probably the only person I think about on a consistent basis. I've been successful in conversation with girls thus far, but in the back of my mind my love for my prom date/best friend is eating me up inside. I don't like opening up on the internet but I've cried every single night thinking about not only the potential partner I lost, but more importantly the best friend that I lost. The girl who I confided in every night for months. The girl who brought me back to my faith and helped me prioritize potential qualities in a spouse. But as much as I love her both platonically and romantically I do realize that I have to let go of her for good.
All of this leads up to my question: what should I do? Confront her and tell her how I love her? I don't think I should but it's far and away the most destructive issue in my life and I feel like I need closure. Should I say nothing?
I may be on CZcams asking for advice, but I know that y'all can still help me out here. Thanks for reading.
I think I was very close to overcoming my fear and building enough confidence to ask her out, but then I found out she already was with someone else 💀. We've talked for long enough where I felt i had a shot at asking her out and it not being weird or sudden, and long enough where I got a little more confident and stopped being the quiet weirdo.
But now I'm questioning how long has she been in a relationship and if I maybe just didn't take too long to ask her out. She was the one who approached and talked to me first when I was in my quiet weirdo phase just standing awkwardly in the corner, and it still surprises me that she would do that. Afterwards she acted really nice to me and really helped me build my confidence and get out of my awkward phase. I can't help but wonder if it didn't seem to her like I was just not interested due to being quiet and reserved for too long so she moved on.
i clicked on this cuz i thought it’d be entertaining but i genuinely loved this vid. i’m a girl and i have a guy i’ve liked for a long time and it’s driven me like insane. i don’t think i’m attractive at all and very few people have told me that i am, but i love positive videos like this and it gives me a little hope + courage. also rlly cool to see this from a guy’s perspective !
One more reason rejection is good and confessin is bad
Pro: You see the character of that person, if she says eww, she wasnt good for you anyway, but if she nice, then you might as well have a friend for later
Keep it lighthearted!
Counter: you might make things awkward if they are someone you meet on a daily basis
nah, its a canon event
Being lonely is mine
Gotta tell you man you've helped me a lot. I understand everything you just said and I have for a bit. But one thing I never realized is that I am afraid of success. I just want to become someone a girl can want and I'm afraid if I get the one I want now she wont be happy with who I will become. I just dont think I'm ready for someone to love me lol. Thanks for all your help bro you videos are the best, you're such a king.
Forget Andrew Tate, You the only internet motivational speaker that be spitting facts
Tate represents the false belief of men's fantasies towards women for pleasures, aka Toxic Masculinity or Toxic Men in general. That's not true love.
She was a 10/10 and she wasn't ready for a relationship so I just accepted that and now I'm moving forward to seeing the greater sides of life. Instead of just sitting in misery on your room for days on end go outside and ejoy the things that make life beautiful. This rejection didn't bring me down one bit. Since that rejection I've actually gained a whole lotta motivation and now I'm making money and seing my muscles enhance so don't let one little rejection let you down. Become better.
just watched this video after coming clean to who was my closest friend about having feelings for her after knowing her for 8 months my feelings developed about a couple weeks ago, we clicked earlier in the year around the beginning sort of anyway we learned so much about each other we literally have the same interest in everything and felt completely comfortable being our true selves around each other and so much more. Thing is she isn’t into guys and well i had been her first genuine guy friend since the beginning to the end and i had to let her go(if you love something, let it go) after coming clean about my feelings out of respect for her since ik its something she doesn’t want. Anyway i feel glad i got it out there and i made a lot of good memories with her so ive just been taking the time to really get closer to christ since i want to prioritize my relationship with him. Anyway man your video still applies even to today and i give thanks to everything even the memories ive made with this person. You got yourself a new sub I will be on the look out for more of your vids thank you bro🫡
That’s amazing king! Getting close w Christ and having the courage to speak your mind. Wow. That’s a king right there👑🗣
@@KingTheodore100 thank you man and after seeing your video it helps me see even more clearly that, it was the right thing and now I just leave everything in God’s hands.
My man’s is right. I’ve been living like this since 2021 and it’s been amazing!
It's not always that simple. I've had a crush on this girl for about a year and I haven't told her anything because A) I don't want to go through what I went through with my last crush, and B) I've been in a position where I COULD NOT tell her anything. At my college, we have this class/friend group she and I are in. Now, I've liked her well before that group was established, but once classes began, I was walking a thin line. However, at least for a few months, it seemed like she was showing genuine interest in me. Like she was doing things with me a normal friend wouldn't do. But then it went silent over the summer, and now I'm more unsure than ever. Now we're out of that class so I am free to tell her, but the fear of past failure or making a bad decision creep up on me every time I think about it.
Is there any way you can see her again? Ask her to something you would do with friends and see if she likes you?
For me, the biggest thing stopping me was anxiety that I could somehow do it better. That if I worded it, or waited for juuuuust the right time then they'd say yes. It never worked. Now there are good and bad times to ask someone out, but there will never be a perfect moment. Sometimes you have to do something before you have the chance to think about it, and realize that the usually the worst that will happen is your friendship being a little awkward for a bit. And if you can't be their friend, you don't have to be.
Don't be afraid to say something just because you're close friends or something. In fact, this is all the more reason to do so. Frankly, its unfair to the other person to keep this quiet, as keeping it quiet for too long may lead them to think that you were only spending time with them in hopes of getting into a relationship with them, and not solely to spend time with them. Don't let yourself be afraid, come clean and keep your expectations realistic.
Got a crush on her 8 months ago, 3 months into us talking, first crush ever, now we are basically best friends and now i know how I feel but haven't found the time to tell her mainly because of school, she's in my grade but just in the female section, I was planning on confessing on farewell but it got moved, and I don't want to stress her with it before exams but I don't want to overwhelm myself by hiding this throughout exams so I've chosen to confess today, she was in another city over the weekend and I'm just waiting for her to come back to our city so she's home when I break the news to her, I know the outcome is going to be negative, but all I want is to get it off my chest and am just hoping our friendship doesn't get effected by it, because it isn't just a little crush, I truly love her, it just took me months to realise it.
Good luck brother
Remember that its never the end of the world.
Excellent video, King. In May, before the semester ended, I was hyping myself up for a week to tell a girl how I felt. I knew when I was gonna do it, but circumstances got in the way, and I missed my chance and felt DEFEATED! I did end up seeing her that day, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
Sometimes, it can be an excuse, but I genuinely believe that when you tell a girl you like her, it SHOULD be in person. So, when I'm back on campus, I'm gonna tell her. I hate sitting with this feeling, and I want to tell her as soon as I can, but I need to do it to her face.
Anyways, loved the video. Subscribing to the channel. Keep it up!
Dude I wish more guys had this view. When I was in school I had one guy tell me he liked me over EMAIL. I just don't trust that. You can't tell what people are really thinking or feeling and as a girl with crappy acne issues, I just felt like they were making fun of me cause I'm not pretty. Besides, if you really cared for someone enough to possibly spend your life with them, wouldn't you want them to see that vulnerability? Always ask in person, it means so much more, even if they don't feel the same!
I realized I had feeling for a classmate in November last year (or around that time, I don't remember much). He was my first crush so at first I was so confused about what to do. Unfortunately, only when he didn't sit next to me anymore did I realize my feeling so I could barely talk to him. So I tried to come to his seat whenever I could and flirt with him. It was really messy but I guess he found my company entertaining. Well, at first I decided to confess next year but I was scared he would like another girl so I decided to confess to him right away. I gathered all my courage to ask him out and I was fully prepared for the consequences of my actions, either succeed or lose. But it turned out so different from what I had expected. Instead of rejecting me or accepting my confession, he sat me down in a secluded place and started to talk about his life, his ambition, and his love life experience. He told me about his ex and how he and his ex didn't see eye to eye about many things. He wanted to study, to follow his ambition but his ex only wanted to play around. So they broke up. Then he proceeded to tell me that he also liked me but he didn't want to pursue this relationship because he wanted to concentrate solely on study. So he told me that they should remain more than friends but not lovers. Well, I agreed but after that, he no longer took the initiative to start a conversation with me anymore. That made me quite upset. But I never regret the decision to tell him my feelings. If I hadn't told him, my mind could never rest, and would always think about him.
Well, I am over him now (it was quite easy actually, maybe I didn't like him that much). But to this day, I still don't understand how he really felt about me back then. All my friends said he liked me and he also used to talk and chat with me a lot. What do you guys think?
Women advice from a biological female:
Having been a woman for all of my life, here are some tips on how to attract your crush
1. Become friends with her first
Making sure she's comfortable around you makes a huge difference, and once you know her a little better, then's the time to start flirting
2. Do not just respond ok to everything
Use a synonym, such as "alright", "got it", or "no problem" if using it multiple times in a conversation
3. Don't come on too strong
Don't shower her with all the attention, talk to her casually for the most part
4. Don't use the internet psychology tricks
We know you're using them
If you follow these steps you'll probably at least be friends with her
Also if she demands you buy her things, leave her. She's only in it for the money.
when i first met this girl, i was hooked. full on obsessed with her. i became the biggest creep i ever was and i hated myself for it. i was so confident i would have her as a gf that it just like flew over me that she could say no. i ended up telling her when ill ask her out (BAD IDEA) and i did and i got rejected. cried for weeks but i was only like 15 so who was really surprised at the end of it. Months went by when we realised we were in the same year next year (here you can choose to do an extra year or not, we both did it) from there i started to talk to her in person more, we text more and we would always have fun talking to eachother whether it be on the phone or irl. I said to myself "im not in love with her anymore" and as the weeks and months went by i kept saying that knowing i was in denial at that point. we talked 24/7 sure. i thought i wouldve been stupid to not ask again, so i did. i asked her out again. i got rejected again. i got bullied, depressed for that whole year and so much more. Before when i was sad i would go to her but now she is why im sad and no matter how many times ive held her tears. it was for nothing. we went back talking the next month and when i realised what i was doing i stopped. no more texting. no more calling. all i did was go to work, do push ups and go to gym. 3 months later she asked why i blocked her for literally no reason and well, i wasnt going to abandon her, anymore. We went back talking and now i focus way more on myself than anyone else but shes always been there whenever i need it and i help out whatever way i can. I kinda dont want to admit it but she has shaped my life. she made me become someone i didnt know existed. Im not saying "oh im a sigma now look at me" but if i didnt just ask her in the first place, none of this would even be a thought. i am happier then i have been for the past 4 years. i dont let people push me around because now, im strong literally both mentally and physically to say no f#k off. I have been single forever, my younger brother has had more girlfriends than me, all my friends have girlfriends. i am the definition of a loser. but im happy and im different so i dont care about any of that
Wow dude you’re such an inspiration
My brother, Im one of those who are kind of scared to fall in love for the reasons you mentioned, but it's not something that I despise I simply don't want to.
But this video made me think otherwise; you made me realize that by overcoming that fear I'll be a better person, so yeah, I'll try this year. Obviously with caution, cause comments like Brendon's one made me think a bit deeper, but I'll make sure to try to fall in love and confess it.
Thank you Kings, you, and everyone in the comment section
Needed this, great video man ❤ I'm gonna try and focus on this positive advice more from now on! The positives do out way the negatives, so they should also out way my fears.
THATS RIGHT! I believe in you Sam, keep going!
Btw all the character developement stuff goes the same way with breakups. Once you get dumped, if you channel your energy into wanting to get better, you can have one incredible character arch and that stuff is super great for getting back in a relationship as well
Thank you for your advice brother. Keep up the good work! ♥
When discussing the section on rejection, you talked about how they may bring up constructive criticism with which you can help yourself improve. I see initially see 2 potential problems with this. (And a 3rd problem, which is less of a problem with your method, and more of a problem with me.
1. They may just tell you "no." Not everyone may want or feel the need to give you a reason why, and poking and prodding for an answer may make you come off as creepy or too insistent after a clear answer was given.
2. If they do give criticism, it may already be something you know about. Personally speaking, I am VERY self-aware of my flaws, and beat myself up every day about how I have not fixed them already. Having someone else tell me about my flaws isn't going to make me wake up to the fact that I have flaws, it will make me feel infinitely worse about the fact that I knew about them, but couldn't/subconsciously didn't want to make myself a better person by omitting or lessening the effects of these flaws. This will lead me into a pattern of definitely never confessing anything ever again since I know I am not perfect, and why should I even try to shoot my shot if I know I still have glaring problems with my character. This means that I should just never confess anything in the first place if the outcome will be the same, because I will save myself some embarrassment.
(3.) I am not good with people anyway (I can't hold a conversation well and people have even told me straight to my face that I am very irritating to them or that they despise my way of conversing with them). This means that on top of fear and rejection, I also have the unconscious aspect of botching the delivery itself.
This is really wholesome; great video
Thanks Emily!!
Ngl, fear of success hits hard. You spend so much time working on yourself or a goal and right before you accomplish something, you ask yourself, "then what?" To this day it's still a huge deterant for me but I refuse it to allow me to quit.
My man, u r such a boss. Thx for the help, just subbed and activated that bell
4:32 as a girl I can confirm. Also interesting to see a topic like this from a guy
perspective. Glad to see that love, confessing and the fear the comes with being vulnerable is universal
Yes, we know it too well.