the fear of love
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- čas přidán 19. 04. 2023
- Love. One of the things in this world most worthy of fear. Capable of building worlds up and destroying them in the same exact breath. Why some live, and why others decide to stop. Love can be everything, and can make us nothing.
Many stories discuss this topic, and this video essay is going to analyze how it’s presented across a few anime. Violet Evergarden and its titular Violet lays the framework by expressing how love can be so different for everyone; the incomprehensibility of love based on perspective. Steins;Gate shows Okabe Rintaro, or Hououin Kyouma, and his own fear of love because of how it lacks any comprehensive logic, the mask he wears to make love make sense, like with Kurisu Makise or Mayuri Shiina. A Silent Voice integrates the concept with self worth through Shoya and Shoko’s stories, a pair who both give too much, and take too little, based on factors they can’t control, complicated love even more. And, of course, Trigun, the story of Vash the Stampede, one living among humans with nothing but love for them, and who can only be constantly hurt by that strong feeling in every single way, like with Meryl. With these anime (Violet Evergarden, Steins;Gate, A Silent Voice, and Trigun) and a personal story, this video essay will analyze and discuss the themes of these series and what we can learn from them.
the fear of being loved | an anime analysis video essay
#anime #animeanalysis #professorviral #steinsgate #asilentvoice #violetevergarden #trigun - Zábava
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"Love is terrifying because it means loving ourselves enough to be loved."
An amazing philosophic synthesis is always poetic. Love you Professor Viral.
Thank you so much!
Now i get, why people say “love yourself first”
Bs. You should love yourself bec this should protect you from ending up in toxic and/or abusive relationships. And because insecurities can be super annoying and even ruin your relationships (e.g. jealousy). That's it.
Ppl who don't love themselves can love and be loved. No need to love yourself for others to love you. Complete bs.
@@akita_inu-il6embro completely misunderstood
@@GlennMorrow-lu4ee explanation pls
In the trigun remake, Vash said "No matter how heavy a cross you carry, you still deserve to eat,you still deserve to laugh" i love this quote.
If only it was true. It is not. We deserve nothing but the bottom of the abyss and can only try to hold ourselves up from the fire.
Sounds like an overly optimistic quote.
Just finished trigun last week, ever since I watched badlands rumble on toonami a decade ago I've known this truth
Sometimes, there's no other option but to be delusionaly happy. @@techpriest6962
@@techpriest6962 How is telling people they deserve to be happy regardless of the burden they carry overly optimistic? Life can be really hard, so reminders like that can be really meaningful
Wow. "I can't tell if you like me" , "That's the point you idiot" is some of the hardest hitting yet accurate descriptions I've ever heard a stranger say.
It's something I did for a long long time I'd never put words to until then
"It's not that calling love a transaction is bad even if it feels reductive. It's like trying to set a price when everyone has their own currency and there's no exchange rate."
Bloody hell, they DID send a poet.
This is so real even with anxiety.
I understand this logically but I can't feel it
"Love is terrifying because it means, loving ourselves enough to be loved"
There's quite a few comments quoting that line, and it makes me much happier than it should haha
“Love is so terrifying because we need to love ourselves enough to be loved.” What a quote
This feeds my ego too much haha
15:54 “if someone gives you there time and all you can do is lack energy , be sad or depressed why would they want to be around you?” Hit me on a personal level. Sadness is something that resonates with me in my personal life. AND i believe it’s okay to be sad sometimes. But I don’t want people to go away because of my sometimes sad demeanor
No one would want this, but it is that way, and nothing you can do can change the way it is. Just try to appear different till someone gets to know you etc. I mean your friends (I suppose you have at least one ACTUAL friend) would not just tell you to fuck off because you're sad. All it takes to just look appealing for someone to get to know you. And once they get to know your good sides it's just the way everybody else has it, no going away because you're sad involved. Of course the quote is still valid, if you're contributing nothing someone will just feel exploited and go. Being sad or depressed doesn't give you priviledge of taking from someone and giving nothing in return.
I relate to this comment a little too much
As a person who struggles with depression, I can relate. Its very hard to me to get in a relationship, not even because I look sad or lack energy, but because I feel that I do not deserve love from someone else cuz I can't provide them the attention I believe they should have. "I'm not good enough, that they deserve someone better than me".
This is so hard, cuz I do feel lonely, but I also dont want to impose those conditions and fears on my partner. Loving yourself is hard...
It's okay to be sad and its okay to be depressed. We all go through it. A true friend should stay with you when you're at your lowest. That doesn't necessarily mean making them your therapist or constantly relying on them to the point it's hurtful, but being a friend is about giving time, caring, and warmth regardless of if you get something in return. Don't be afraid to open up. They are probably struggling too and will take comfort from knowing they aren't alone. In my experience, I've formed my deepest connections by opening up about what I'm experiencing and having the other person open up in return.
@@ghostypunpun keyword "return" if it goes just one side for whatever the reason it's not ok most of the time and friendship will likely fall apart
For me the most terrifying part is being vulnerable, trusting someone who I have no reason to trust even if I know that most people wouldn't betray you if you told them your insecurities, every time I've done that I have made a friend, or they didn't care, but every time it is terryfing, and I feel like im ripping myself open for them, and trusting them to not take my heart and blow it up.
Trust issues are an old classic
Some of us cant even make proper friends without their prejudices/artificed/caricatured version of us
Loving someone is painful, but being loved is scary
Violet Evergarden was the first anime to genuinely make me tear up.
It was the aspect of the fact that she had no clue what love was with the man that took care of her telling her "i love you" as parting words just hit me.
26:15 "Love is terrifying because it means loving ourselves enough to be loved."
Thank you 🙏🙏
Holy crap, this video made me cry. From reminding me of past relationships and even friendships that crumbled after broken promises to finally learning to love myself after giving one too many pieces of myself away, I understand that yes, love is scary. It’s painful, especially the inevitable loss that comes with it, but I wouldn’t want it any other way. We learn from our mistakes, from the hurt we didn’t intentionally mean to give. We do the best we can and sometimes, for people it’s enough. The saying “you must love yourself before you love others” was told to me often, and in a way, it rings true, but not in a way that means you must refrain from loving others until you see yourself in that same devotion and admiration. I see it in a way that means you can give the world and everyone in it all of your love and time and until you realize that you doing that means something, that it’ll always mean something to someone out there, it’ll make you feel empty. Humans were born to hurt, but more importantly, to love, but we often forget that we are deserving of that love. I hope anyone reading this understands that nobody is born into this world to be alone. Someone loves you, and if nobody does right now, someone will in time.
I haven't even watched this video yet lol, but I broke up from my first relationship 3 months ago today and woke up this morning with the worst pain I've felt since the breakup, after dreaming about her. Stupidly I checked her social media to find she found another guy just a month after breaking up, which only made things worse. Just reading this comment put me on the verge of tears but made me feel a bit calmer after the fact, thank you for your words!
@@mr.pearly7478its been almost 7 years since my last relationship ended. She still visits when I sleep and it never really stopped hurting. I haven’t found anyone who truly sees me for me and I still hope that one day my world will be brighter again. The pain never stops but then again neither does the world and we must always move forward no matter how hard it may be.
I really like this comment as it remind me of Nico Robin from one piece "No one is born into this world to be alone."
Except for me. Not a single woman on this entire planet wants me. I was born to be alone. Im pathetic, ugly as shit and unworthy of love.
i havent seen enough people talk about the fear of being loved - the pain of not feeling worthy of it, not understanding why someone stays by your side when all you see is a nobody in yourself. i hate this because i know so many people wish they had people love them. but i have never felt worthy of it, and still dont. people love me and stick by my side, when im just thinking about the absolute destruction of my own being. when i just wish i could destroy myself.
I can say this love is the greatest feeling you could ever know but at the same time the longer that feeling lasts the more it will create a pain that can't be dulled once once it's been torn out of you
For sure. I'd often tank relationships earlier for that reason as well. Less possible hurt later on
I always appreciate the vulnerability and thought you put into your videos, got me tearing up my last hour at work lol. I'm a person with an avoidant attachment style, who has yet to love or be loved. So I think you're quite brave.
I always feel like its just weakness, knowing I can hurt people but doing it anyway. But I guess thats what most of us do, we just dont always overthink it
Pretty relatable.
@@ProfessorViral its really telling for the nature of self-worth when two people holding the exact opposite ends of a stick both feel they're weak for doing so and admire the other side for the perceived strength
it doesn't matter how hard or scary love is, we shouldn't stop trying at it, it's the most valuable thing one can give to others, but it's also the hardest thing one can create
Very true. It's tough all around, but that's all a testament to its power given we still search it out
@@ProfessorViral yeah, mostly love for ourselves (not just saying "i love you" to the mirror, but actually eating healthy, doing exercise etc etc)
Your videos are so well put together. I hope your channel grows and blows up so more people can see your creative work, keep it up.
Thank you, the support really does mean so much. I am hoping to grow and make this my full time job someday, but I am always happy to have what I already do : )
having broke up with my ex after 3 long years i still remember holding her and not knowing what she had done wrong but knew that i was falling out of love. having a shaky family life i would use her as a crux to support my dwindling sense of self. it left me longing not for her but what she represented, a warm hand gliding through my hair, a tight grasp her two arms binded
me promising to not let me go, atleast not until i was feeling better. The pain was that i knew i wasn’t going to be better as long as i was with her. Not knowing myself i would begin to be brutually honest with her, telling her the truth of my feelings but skewing it in a way that meant staying together was the right option. She never understood the real me because if she did she would breakup, and that’s secretly what i wanted. I didn’t want to break her heart
good video btw👍
My favorite thing about your videos is that they are so personal (as in you throw Your emotions, Your experiences, etc. into them). It's always so beautiful and heartfelt~ Thank you for always crafting such personal videos, and I hope to anything and everything good in the vastness of the universe and beyond that you never lose your passion~💜
Thank you so much : ) I know it probably seems like a very conscious effort for me to make them so emotional, but it's just what's felt natural. I'm a terribly emotional person when I let myself really feel haha
@@ProfessorViral are you sure it's safe though like someone could seriously use this against you or something I mean it's never happened to me or anyone I know but I've heard a few stories about this online.
@@ProfessorViral by the way the video was an absolute banger it's really surprising you don't have more subscribers with how good these are and how quickly you update.
@@ProfessorViral I immediately cry at those parts in the videos whether I like it or not 😭
@@jakariashafin1695A quote by Kirito sorta answers that for me. I would rather trust and be wrong, then not trust and be wrong. Why always live in a shroud of what ifs and instead just trust someone on their word, sure it could hurt, but if we didn't trust anything or anyone. Could we exist?
I really hate how much your life's pivotal moments seem to mirror mine its almost infuriating. I love your video essays because I love delving into the psych of these characters personalities and reasonings and just talking about stories on this level is fun to me. I also love your personal stories at the end because they are just SO engaging to listen to. But I've also found myself really understand and relating with each one and I cannot say how both comforting... and emotionally devastating it is to feel that?
Long sob story no one asked for below:
Very much the same, my first brush with what I assumed was love was later revealed to be my own personal manic pixie dream girl, someone who came into my life and just... swept it, changed everything. We spent everyone moment together for years, and I do mean EVERY. MOMENT. From dawn to dusk we would talk, play games, chat, well into my late teens and adult hood. 14 years. Somewhere in that 14 I saw the cracks, the sudden demands and commands, they accused me of cheating, and though I'd done nothing of the sort they could not be wrong... so by default I was. So in some crazy attempt to course correct and prove my innocence... I stopped talking to anyone. I could prove them wrong if there was nobody BUT them. They could introduce me to friends, they could monitor who I spoke to.. and when they got mad that I was friends with their friends... I'd back off and just wait for my turn. I fell into this comfortable notion of waiting for what they wanted, but when you hit 24 and start realizing what you want and you get more tired you stop trying so hard to please. So we fought, because I wasn't putting in effort anymore to be loved by them. It was a pathetic experience that only recently ended and I find myself disgusted that I still love them but also looking back and wondering if I'd done things differently if it could have ended differently; or if I knew this was the only possible way for our relationship to go. I held onto it because I had no one else. Yes they could be disgustingly cruel, and yes they could be demeaning and demanding and they could never EVER be wrong but... when things were good they were good so I was just being a bitch right? Couldn't let a little emotional manipulation destroy my relationship, this absolute love, who else would love me like that? It had been proven more then once, no one. They'd stuck with me for 14 years, no one else would do that with someone they hated so clearly I was being dramatic right? Or, like you said, we fed off each others rage and frustration; I was no better there. Part of growing from that experience was realizing also what I could have done, I could have stood up for myself, I could have told them to chill out, I could have made some other friends anyway and just muscled through the anxiety so we weren't smothering each other with our company. The 'I could haves' of life will haunt you forever, but we press forward for all the new 'glad I dids' instead, I suppose.
Long story short, its sad to hear your experiences but thankyou for sharing them. Cause it makes some of us feel like just a little less of fuck-ups to realize its... not just us.
Relationship is like entering the building,
when it is just a friendship you enter it but keep the door open and you’re ready to leave anytime,
when it is love you enter the building, you lock the door and throw the only keys out, so when the building collapses you collapse with it too
Love was terrifying to me because I never believed it or that I could be loved. I loathed myself too much and too far. When I started bettering myself, it wasn't just for me but it was to be valued. When someone liked me, I couldn't believe it. I was delusional and in denial about having worth. She confessed and I accepted out of a sense of responsibility. I was afraid and couldn't voice my fears for fear of being seen as weak. She told me she loved me and I knew how much it meant to her so I said it back, but I didn't understand it. I abused something I couldn't understand & hurt her on accident. She lied and made an excuse to end it and I couldn't do anything. I found out later and hated myself for ever doing anything wrong to her. It wasn't entirely my fault but I blamed myself for everything. She wanted nothing to do with me so I couldn't even apologize. My remorse was meaningless because to her I was meaningless. Nothing more than a bad experience. It feels wrong to know someone who loved and wanted to be around you every second, now wants nothing to do with you and actively avoids you if in the same room.
I will continue to see myself as the villain but I don't how long I can loathe myself.
at least you realise you're just delusional about it, it's a step to actually change it. The way it is you are really unlovable, how could someone really love and support person who doesn't even love them back. Some of us don't even get lucky enough for a girl to tell you this once. You are really lucky in fact for this to happen to you, all you had to do was to just love someone back, or at least tell her how it really is. You can't just wail about being unlovable if you won't even give people a chance. You're not a villain, life ain't anime, just don't get into something you can't handle. And also work on yourself to be able to handle it in X time.
Creating an image of self worth is something I struggle with as well. Some people call it Impostor syndrome, as you feel you dont deserve the things that happens to you. what can I say to you is: you have worth, and you need to acnowledge that. You have value. We are in constant evolution. You are not the same as you were before that girl appeared in your life. You learned things the hard way, but this is life, everyone fuck up sometimes, but the failures teach better that the victories. What you do with what you learn, with your experiences, is the key part of the process. Be a better you, improving with every thing you live. We cant control everything that happens around us, but we can choose how to react to it.
bro its criminal for your quality content to get such low views
I'd love more to support myself off of this alone, but honestly these numbers are more than I ever imagined!
100k views
I agree, ProfessorViral has earned my subscription.
I think it is because he is talking about anime. It personally put me off but I stayed and really thought it was a good video anyway
I agree that it's really well edited with pretty good quality but idk I wouldn't watch this kind of content except for this outlier
You just gave Fujimoto the idea to create the Love Devil
I'll expect at least 5 cents in return for this
I have no words to describe how I feel after watching this. Just, thank you for this video, for the openness, for every minute of it
No problem at all, thank you for such nice words 💙
My last relationship messed me up so bad it's over been 10 years since I've even tried to have another. It's terrifying to think about investing so much of yourself into another relationship knowing how easily it can all go wrong
Going on 15 years, I lost the heartache but the scars still show.
13 years still going on but still as much I want to love again I know far to well it will destroy me again.
I feel so much guilt. It’s all hitting now. When you said that you were 16 and meant ‘I love you’ for the first time… I remembered. We were 16, sitting on a tree in his favourite spot, no one but us stretching over a never ending field in the summer. In that moment I felt this anticipation that something was going to happen… the way he looked at me and shifted around. He said the three words. “I love you.” In that moment I couldn’t think, but I smiled. I don’t know why I smiled, but I know that I was feeling sorry for him. That second I thought ‘why would he love someone that doesn’t love him back?’ But I think again and maybe it makes sense? We were in a relationship after all. I know that I’m the problem for staying with someone who I wasn’t so sure about but knew that he was obsessed with me. In that moment it just slipped out. I said it back and smiled. I felt like horns were growing out of my head. I lied. It never got better from there and I soon broke up with him. I wish he had someone better than me… someone who loved him back.
It's just the cost of being human. To live and learn about others comes at the cost of others. There's no helping if someone's feelings grow stronger than yours, and there are moments to break up and moments to not. In the end, it's all experince that'll lead to better things
This is absolutely the best video essay on love I’ve ever watch… words can’t explain how much I resonated with this.
Honestly one of my favorite stories about love is actually chainsaw man, it explains love in such a human way, It isn't good or bad objectively. It's awfully beautiful and horribly awful. SPOILERS AHEAD. watch the show:
Denjj starts off with this completely primitively view of intimacy, he doesn't care about love and just wants any kind of intimacy. Aki and Himeno are also good examples, Himeno works in an industry where people die constantly, yet despite this she still gets attached to people, contrary to Aki who tries to avoid attachment but over time not only gets attached to Himeno but changes for her, even taking up smoking which he completely objected to before, when Himeno is killed Aki starts working towards his goal with an iron resolve, when the future devil grants him a chance to know how he dies he refuses. Because Himeno's death gave him resolve to achieve his goals, in general csm is a love driven story that explores every different type of love, not just romantic
You just described 99% of animes
I wouldn't be surprised if we end up seeing a Love devil
Eh, Chainsaw Man’s main theme is about love more than most anime imo. Specifically, the tortures of how our ego reacts with it (loving the idea of someone versus genuine loving that person)
I think katanagatari would be the best romance ive watched idk. Horimiya is good too
Hearing the authenticity of your personal story of love is the reason why I love channels like yours. Being able to relate and to sympathize, even empathize, with your mistakes and feelings makes me feel like I should keep watching this person. This person has had the luxury of experiencing life from its highest to lowest points and should have an audience to learn from it or to rationalize their own from their stories. The anime stories help too, but nothing is better than the real ones
I don’t know why but just by watching this video for less than 10 minutes my heart was beating out of my chest
It’s like I feel stress even hearing someone talk about it even if what they say is true and something that I’ve already realized
Honestly, I've been pretty lonely. I have friends but there are some things only a lover can be to you. I do sometimes wonder if this is a fascination with the idea of being in love rather than the desire to be something to someone, and the second option likely being a need to feel validated in someone else's eyes.
I've honestly gotten a poor view of both women and relationships in general due to the kind of stuff I've exposed myself to (I won't elaborate you can imagine), I worry what regardless of how my externals improve I'd still be the same person I see in the mirror.
I find it easy to get mentally torn in two the moment I see two people together- one side is resentful and argues that "logically speaking" it won't last, the other side feels an intense (almost primal) sense of envy. Now before we recommend some asylums or other institutions, I must say that this doesn't take over my thought process. When it happens, in my head it's kinda like watching two dogs bickering, its normal, run-of-the-mill, day to day stuff- that's the problem for me. No one would want to live with a big, dirty, destructive stray animal that constantly and unpredictably throws your life out of order just cause it saw something, imagine two of the same. What's more is that you've lost so much power in this situation that all you ever do is just watch and wait for them to stop saying "They'll calm down. Its not that bad, I mean this happens everyday so who cares if it happens now."
It hurts, it hurts cause I know this is a coping mechanism and if it had its way I'd be able to feel relatively okay with myself, I'd also grow to be more narcissistic and have a cynical view of relationships but hey, better than acknowledging these thoughts and looking at there underlying causes - loneliness, envy, narcissism and a duty to fix my fucked life and views.
So is that the only answer. Really. Responsibility? Couldn't it be something a little easier, like I don't know, going to the gym for a year? Working on public speaking? Raising the dead?
I don't know guys, frankly maybe there really was no substance to this and I just needed a place to rant, real depressing to realise that this outlet was a CZcams comments section.
I need therapy.
Honestly even if it was just you needing to vent I appreciated your thoughts. I think this kind of critical self reflection is really important.
@@Incrementium Thank you, it really has helped writing or otherwise just putting thoughts out there.
Same here? Sometimes I have friends that are in long term relationships and they talk and it’s like they live in a vastly different world than me. Perhaps it’s just me - isolating myself like that. Love or being the subject of love just eludes me. I want to be loved but it’s very hard sometimes to allow yourself to be loved.
I understand what you mean by ranting in youtube comment, I've done the same. But thats ok, this kind of critical think and self-reflect is just the start of healing yourself. Slowly but surely. I saw a video calling these rant/venting comments "internet check-points."
Like this video, we all have our flaws we are aware of and voicing it through a video or a comment helps us express our thoughts and feelings. Think of this as your internet check-point. Grow as a person and do what you need to do to heal and continue on. This check-point will always be here for you to look back and remind yourself how far you've come. Your achievements and success, no matter how big or small, they are all achievements worth celebrating and appreciating all you've done for youself.
Hey man, I read your comment and wanted to recommend persona 4 to you specifically. Very good deep dive on relationships in that game. Further if like to recommend the third one and Tokyo ghoul as well, both are great at conveying realistic relationships even in a chaotic environment. Good luck to you.
Seeing a explanation of the fear I feel but have issues expressing wasn’t what I planned for at 8am but it’s oddly comforting. Your videos are always so personal and it’s great to see how much you pour your own emotions into your discussions
Nice to know my fear of love won’t be met with hostility from everyone. I am not as alone as I thought
Of course not, many of us are feeling it in similar ways. All we can do is be honest about it
Duh
I would think one of the biggest things that comes with love is having the courage to be responsible for yourself but for others as well. It ain't something folks are born with. It's something we all have to earn. All we can do is hope we suffer well to be a beacon on strength to the whole world.
Crazy how this video shows up out of the blue on a lonely night just like that of which you said in the video. I was able to understand a little bit more about love through your insights and story. Thanks for sharing something you keep close to your heart. That takes a whooooole lotta bravery. Will definitely follow you for your content.
Your videos tend to always have a lot of yourself in them. The stories of your life giving your chosen topics that feeling of grounded reality. This one, most of all, reminded me of my past. Of those who I once loved and those who I was loved by. I don't know if I wanted to feel this way on a Friday afternoon but here we are.
One of my favorite videos of yours so far.
I actually shed tears at this video and the power of your words. I felt everything you said so hard, and I've never cried to a youtube video before. Thank you so much for this. So amazing, I can't even describe how good this video is.
Appreciate how deep and personal you dived into this video
I felt like I was looking in a mirror for the entire second half of this video, you said things that have been in my mind for years, but I was never able to find the words for. Probably the best video I've watched on here
I am terrible at love. I’ve been used for it tricked and fooled about it over and over again. Yet still I find myself loving others unconditionally. The worst part about love is you can give all of it away to other you can love someone truly with all your heart. But it feels oh so pointless when they don’t do the same back or even try to. Loving yourself is only the true surefire way to know that you’re loved and yet who wants to only be loved by themselves that’s a cruel fate in the end. I want to live my life surrounded by others when I die. But I know I’ll just be there for everyone else until it’s my turn to pass and I’ll realize not a single person is there for me.
The way you put your vulnerability out there heals a lot of things inside me. Thanks, an amazing video.
This video's me questioning so much about myself, what I've done and who I am to the people around me. Broke down multiple times while watching and DAMN, I never thought a youtube video would do something like that.
Amazing job man, thank you so much for making this video
I really thought I felt a lot of these things alone...hearing you open up about this really helped me today. Thank you.
The end is so sad and yet so touching I almost cried. Magnificent video
Feeling like you have a monster inside of you, that will only just hurt everybody who gets too close to you, is one of the most cruel thoughts someone can have about themselves...
This fear of love destroys me inside. I had to lost someone dear to me to aknoledge this. When i was with her it as good but then i became anxious and she did nothing to trigger me and now i am alone again and kinda empty. It occurs to me everyday that "it was my fault, if i could retain this fear of control it she wouldn't have to go" and now i miss her so much but i can't go back because of this fear. I wish i could get to her all the love she deserved. My only hope now is that we maybe cross paths again down the road and maybe i'll have another shot to do things right, but do i deserve another chance? I had one and screwed up so i don't know...
Beautiful video, beautiful connections and transition to your own story and how you got vulnerable was a perfect way to end this video. Glad I came across this
It's so strong of you, to show yourself this vulnerable. This is such a meaningful video, and I'm so thankful for you sharing your thoughts and experiences.
As someone who has a hard time expressing their love for others due to many factors, I got emotional so many times during this video. Such a beautiful way to put these emotions into words and such a hard thing to do. Thanks for your work
I have been watching your videos for a while now. I have had similar experiences... especially as a young adult/teen. Self-harm is not healthy but it's nice to know that there are others that have had similar struggles. I had/have a fear of love that started with my parents as well. Thanks for your honest and open sharing. Love your videos fam.
Ive recently become tired/worn-out of love rather, Ive always been obsessed with being with someone up until recently. This video has helped me find some answers as to why, thank you for that, looking forward to future uploads😊
I have not truly cried in such a long time, but your video made me sob and I'm so grateful for that. Thank you, I so rarely am able to even cry and it felt so good to let it out. Your experiences were relatable and helped me think on my own past mistakes, my avoidance of love despite chasing relationships, having them fail over and over including recently. I am terrified of love too, I never knew it growing up and it's a hard thing to accept love when the only thing I knew was being hated. I may not know love between people very well, but I can wholeheartedly say I love your content and mean it.
This man needs to blow up, his words are filled with insights! Amazing
Thank you for making this video. It helped to give voice to many inner thoughts I'm dealing with at the moment and Wich go back years into the past. It really helps me reflect on love in its different forms and in the way every instance of them turned out. It gave me peace in difficult times, and so I am gratefull.
My first love was horrible for both sides. This was way to close to home... and I'm glad. Having a situation be relatable and just being able to process it.
You described a feeling I've had incredibly well with your story. Tried and failed for years to describe it myself in a way others could understand. It's oddly pleasant knowing someone else knows that specific feeling. So thanks, I mean it.
Thank you so much for this video. It made me understand the person who rejected me after seemingly being in relationship. The racing thoughts at the end made me feel like I understand it just a little more. As a person on the opposite side I was really frustrated that their thoughts are so contradictory, but it must be an excruciating pain - being so scared of hurting someone end hurting someone in the end because of that.
If you don't want to hurt others, please go to therapy to heal yourself and end this cycle of pain.
If you ever commit to love, remember that love is nothing what it seems like. It is fundamentally based on uncertainty, communication, and expectation (or better yet lack there of). It is built on anxiety, being afraid, and fear, yet the most addicting and enticing game we play. Love is beautiful and miserable. Love is hating and loving. Love is emotion. Love is an exploration into our own humanity.
In that sense, not knowing is the best way to fall in love, yet it is the worst way to maintain a relationship. If you want to have success in love, know nothing, but be curious. Every problem on the way needs to be figured out and overcome. Make it a commitment, to learn about yourself and the other.
In other words, recognizing you don’t know anything about love, is the best way to find love.
Also, this idea of vulnerability and weakness explains love from a fundamental point of view. It is a reward for trust. What i still wonder with this definition is how it distinguishes from friendships. While friendships feel differently, the model described here doesn’t differentiate between the two. In both states familiarity plays part as a proxy for safety, but still the difference seems to be there
There is this idea of the caregiver. That being loved is merely a mistake as you didn’t fundamentally change anything between 9 months old and 25 years old. So if you feel loved it feels literally like you are being taken care of and weak and powerless. Simultaneously loving someone is another mistake of humanity, because it can’t differantiate between your 9 month old baby, and your babe. It is about caring and nurturing. In that sense, loving and being loved is in both cases a mistake, as the body misinterprets/fails to distinguish a much more potent and evolutionary significant of raising/being raised
This is one of those videos I'm definitely gonna watch from time to time. I like how it's just reflections and thoughts, like someone writing letter to themselves. Gave me a lot to ponder on
These videos really are just big letters to myself. I tend to figure myself out through understanding the more defined puzzles of characters, who were created with a specific intent. It's one big journey of learning what being human really is, I guess
This is the best analysis of love I have ever listened to man.
This is the kind of content I’ve always wanted to make: analyzing different topics using anime and personal experiences as the material for the video. Love this work man, subscribed because I think your gonna be great 🎉
I have debated on saying it but I want to say that I understand all of it. The girl that you loved but she didn’t reciprocate it. The girl that loves you but you are afraid she doesn’t really know you so you push her away. The girl that makes you feel alive again and you can tell you do it for her too, just for you to have to get on a plane and leave never to talk to her again unless in your dreams. God I had to stop playing the game I as playing and listen to every word you said cause it was almost as if you were reciting Word for Word the things I’ve spend years of my life thinking about.
I love your videos man especially the ones where you connect the concepts back to your life allowing us to connect with them and relate and to understand. Keep up the great work and God bless you.
That's always what I'm aiming for, I'm glad it comes across well. Thank you!
Hey, I just wanted to say that this hit at the right time for me. I got caught in a bit of a mental spiral and this was just what I needed to get nudged out of it.
Thanks for the video.
This is the most genuine emotion I’ve probably ever heard. And I just…….. it feels like I’m feeling for the first time.
Keep your chin up man. People will love you. I understand this emotion and this pain. But you will feel. And people will feel for you.
This really makes me think about my experiences with love, I'm glad i watched it and that you made such a great video that made me reflect on myself
And just like that im subbed and ready for more. This beautiful view of love, pain and desire struck such a strong chord with me. Its so succinct that its a feeling that everyone has but has such a hard time putting into words, yet you did so so well. Thank you.
Very kind words there, thank you so much 💙
As a thirty something who grew up in a strict Mormon religion, I will admit anime helped me gain emotional maturity as a teenager and young adult. My first marriage was one of escape, and love through strife and differences. he was an atheist musician on an angst mission and I was the devoted wife, content with his infidelities, wanting him to also care for me like he did his music and mistresses. Id destroyed myself to be with him. 1 year, divorced, and 10 years later he misses me and what he had in me that he can never have again.
And I can look at the love I have now with security and knowledge that we have each other's backs through thick and thin, no infidelities needed (it took years to get here... but we're here now).
This video really found me in just when I've been feeling more unsure of my view of love. It hurts being reminded but I'm happy to feel seen through this video and being able to relate to something. Beautiful video.
Thank you, I'm glad it found you at the right time like that 💙
When I clicked for this video as background noise while I mined stone and collected wood on my MC world, I did not expect to genuinely pause what I'm doing to listen in.
i cried while watching this video, i couldnt look away at the personal story part
thank you for sharing your essays, i also watched the fear of being genuine video and it also struck a chord
Of course, thank you for letting me share them! I hope the emotions they bring out can help lead to great things for you
This video has genuinely brought me a new perspective on love, I’ve been too scared to love this one girl back as much as she does for me, too scared I’ll be a disappointment and too scared to take things to the next level because of my own past. But thanks to this I’m going to try and make things right and stop being selfish about my own feelings and hope we sort this out! Much love man this has been such a eye opener
This video has honestly opened my eyes to what it truly means to love and be loved.
You have to be willing to accept not only your partner but also yourself as well.
Loving someone will always be a risk but it is one that you should never shy away from as doing so as it will ultimately help to grow and develop as a person.😌
I didnt know i was gonna start crying over this. This was beautifully well made, and as cringey as it might be to read; i felt like I could relate to this video so well that I almost didnt feel real in the present moment thinking about it
This is one of the best videos I have ever watched, thank you for this
Everything you went through describes perfectly the double edged sword of love. Amazing video
Love is both the greatest pain and the great part of life. if done right it can cause happiness beyond belif but if done wrong it can cause pain you never knew existed.
To me, love is weakness. Now is weakness bad, not necessarily but it is true weakness. You let people into a place that contains something that would cripple you bad if damage even Achilles Heel would be marked as strong in comparison. But if they enter that place and love you still then it is the greatest feeling in the entire world... So I hope at least.
Every single person I let into that place has stabbed straight through it, my Parents being no acception. I now let no one in their because I am already so broken that I can't risk it again in fear of my darkest thoughts finally winning which they have almost won already. So when I say this I hope you can understand that I mean the best when I say this. Don't end up like me, charge forward and find people who will love you because they do exist, you just haven't found them yet. And when you find them treat them like the most valuable things in your life because they are.
I would like to thank you for such an incredible writing. I can't stop and just listen to the words that come out of your mouth and they just make me appreciate the life we were given. Greetings from Poland!
Is still so crazy to me that I can be that kind of person for others. Thank you so much!
Thank you, for the effort and honesty that you put into this video.
Wow, such a great video. Definitely pushing me to give Trigun a watch.
And that final section.. wow. Such unabashed honesty. As someone who's been interested in attachment theory, and has had such a frail connection with love, thank you so much for sharing. A very good listen.
These videos are put together incredibly well. These topics are always so heartfelt and informative towards video philosophy.
I'm for sure stealing the term "video philosophy," thank you for that, and being so kind!
"never be sorry for having loved"
i dont think ive cried this much in years. thank you.
Magnificent video as usual! Please keep at it, it really adds value to the world!
I can't process the feelings that came over me after watching this video. But your video has really helped me gain a new perspective on love itself. Thank you.
Thank you for the kind words, I'm glad i could help in that way
This was beautiful. Thanks for the amazing insight and thoughtful experience you shared in this video. It was truly beautiful, great job.
Thank you for the food! Hope everyone has a great day, I'll be returning to my work and trying not to sob my eyes out because man when Viral goes on their rants, I just can't help but feel touched. :)
I'm conflicted, I'm glad it was powerful but I'm sorry to make work harder haha. Hope your day goes well too!
@@ProfessorViral No need to be sorry at all! It keeps me on my toes if nothing else, hahaha. It feels like I've had a harder time coming across channels that are willing to speak as passionately on their topics as some of yours do. I'm sorry if it sounds strange but these videos are an incredible comfort throughout the week. Even if they make me emotional, pfft.
Thank you for being honest, I'm reduced to tears with similar struggles.
I can see your heart man, and its beautiful..... you've clearly experienced the worst and best life has given you and it shows it in this video... hopefully i will gain more experience in life to be this in depth with the human emotions... it feels like i needed this video..
Another top notch video. Your vids are some of the ones I look forward each week. Keep up the great work 💪
Thank for sharing such a raw story, much love to you and yours.
Holy... Bro you encapsilate everything I feel in such an incredibly way. Truly an amazing video keep it up! It hit so fricken hard-
kinda dig that line : "we interpret that as value, and so it is." also ur channel is super underrated.
The scariest part is that if end up with the wrong person, you can lose everything and be screwed for life, far worse off than if you never got with them to begin with, especially with how bad our justice system has gotten these days
What an amazing video. From beginning to end it kept me watching and listening. Thank you for opening so much near the end, i know it must of been a lot but man it was strong. I have seen a lot of abusive relationships and in turn i have been so god awful scared of opening myself up to others in a way as personal as loving someone. Im afraid that i will be a burden or not enough if i ever do find someone.
Love is so difficult. I do love this video though
I don't hate myself. I got over hating myself after almost going through with suicide. But after not doing that I kind of just got over it. I don't hate myself anymore. I mean I still think I'm ugly and kind of lazy but I still don't hate myself. Loving yourself is more difficult than some people realized. Self deprecation is a coping mechanism for some a very depressing thought. This video didn't make my cry. I don't even think I can cry outside of stubbing my toe because god damn it that hurts.
Beautifully put together and heartfelt. The way you express your experiences and meditations on every video is relatable and meaningful. Keep up the awesome content, its really hits.
I'll try my best, thank you for the support!