How The Narcissist Views Your Silence
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- čas přidán 14. 05. 2023
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The only long term solution is to remove that narcissist from your life completely. They are not going to change. Your wasting your time thinking about them and their mental illness.
Desire to win AT ALL COSTS with no empathy for another is not a mental illness.
@@godswillm575 I agree, more like psychosis.
@God's will M Narcicistic Personality Disorder, Psychosis and Psychopathy are mental illnesses. 💯
@God's will M winning in what, a friendship? Most of them think winning is devaluing then discarding you, no normal human gets into any relationship so as to discard it
@@biggrhymees88one winning in arguments, winning in being able to control you, winning in controlling the narrative. That's what they try to do. ALL THE TIME. I have seen it up close.
That's all they care about, winning and making others lose in whatever they can.
Well they are not normal after all. They have problematic personality. Thus, NPD= narcissistic personality disorder. It not a mental disorder that might warrant any empathy.
We’re not rejecting them. We’re rejecting their covert behaviour
In my case, I’m rejecting their demons!
Them, their demons and abuse.
I'm rejecting that disgusting individual, have no doubt about that!
So we are rejecting them. Their behaviour is them. It's all they are.
Yes both
After 31 years of being with him, in one week he went from "I love you and don't want to lose you" to "I don't want this relationship anymore" and walked out and just moved in with a single mother of 4 kids and just acted like nothing. They will find someone else before they dump you.
so if i dump him first is that a good thing to prevent myself from getting hurt?
@@graceflanigan228 YES!!!!
Humans in general do this , especially women if we are being honest
He didn't dump you God removed him so you could have peace. The new supply will get all the foul treatment he did to you. A leopard doesn't change his stripes they just change victims
Planning a wedding for us on a Monday and by Wednesday no longer love me because none of her daughters said they were show up to her wedding if she married me, thank God it didn’t happen this woman was damaged goods engaged to one man while being married to another, already on her fifth marriage, all four of our kids about different baby daddies, every male she been with treated her like crap, she found me that was somebody who treated her with respect and dignity so she was actually upgrading with me, The average man would’ve heard all this and just walked away or at least try to get it easy lay, I stuck around for 18 years and the reason her daughters didn’t like me because I wouldn’t allow them to disrespect their mother put their hands on their mother in the meantime the mother was more interested in being their friend and not a parent, good luck in the future I’m out won’t look back, yeah now she’s trying to control the situation by smearing me too my closest friends, well at least I know some of her gaslighting reasons because she never talk to me about there being a problem, we always got along, kinda became best friends in the relationship, I can current teacher she won’t find better
They are evil protect your peace
DARK DEMON POSSESSED SOULS!!!!
If you are here you have escaped a nutter! be grateful. The new supply wont see through the cracks straight away so the narc is revenge enough as far as they are concerned and the narc being them is punishment enough. Just do you and use the experience to grow. The trauma is actually an opportunity to learn xx
Exactly right.
Very true and well said
IN a way it's good u encounter them maybe even too early in life because they definitely a lesson to learn from and move on.
I ran into one last week and he asked how I was doing, I responded "GREAT" and walked away. The smear campaign against me continues. I don't care because I know who and what I am.
One word answer keeping it positive 👏
One of the last times I heard from it "how are you" me; "awesome thanks" nothing in two months... Finally free of the panto that is her reality 😁
Ive had the smear campaigns, the flying monkeys, the hoover attempts. Ignore the lies, they will continue and go to extremes but end up looking like a nut job wanting revenge. The fake self exposed mask off - run never have contact again.
In the long run u get the last laugh dint worry.
Exactly
The best weapon…. Smile!!! They will literally shut down into nothing!!!
Neuroscience knows their brain actually registers in the pleasure centers when they see SAD faces. Explains their sadism. It’s a serotonin boost to cry in front of them. Sick.
Remember.. they are 7-8 years old..
1 or 2 year olds
My ex was 8, his mother and brother 10.
Why? Sexual abuse never addressed and shut down emotionally.
If you're married to a child, it will never change, get out..
4 to 5 years old. Tops! 😳
😂😂😂😂😂
Kindergarten....
Every time I sought closure and wanted the truth, she would always say "What lies? You're crazy, Stop insulting me, Im a decent woman!" Even when I had proof of her lying and cheating, I was ready to forgive her..we broke up about 8 times in 3 years and like clockwork she would always hoover...even when I went on with my life and had a new relationship, here she would come sabotaging it and luring me back in with the love bombing....This last time just a few months ago we discarded each other because she knew I discovered her true self and I could not be manipulated any more. I moved over 400 miles away, blocked her from everything, true no contact! It has been hard but Im healing. My life is better than ever and I'm really loving myself! Im proud of me and Thank God for letting me see the Truth! Hallelujah!
I pray for all the healing we deserve, i never knew thats this kind of people exist untill only i ask myself why? And how ? Then finding out that narcs are everywhere and victims are suffering 😢 may we all rcv back all the love we gave and shared 🙏amen
Amen brother
Smear campaigns don’t affect my checking account so I’m good….
Oh I finally know that I’m healed because this just came up and it’s such dribble 🎉🎉🎉. 2 1/2 years for me. dear people that are still struggling, Hang in there and keep moving in your own life. Find the self that you lost. It will save you
I love to see comments like this, it’s good to come out of the other side 🥰 x
Dribble is right...she could do it in a coupe of miutes.IEspecially if she thought first what she was going to say). Very repetitive.
After 25 year's the wife took her life, Three months later I found a woman on social media and I'm still at it, just in texting and voice clips now. No matter what I try to do I can't get her to be sweet and not so damn masculine and cold
It's been 2and a half years for me to and still not completely healed but still grateful he's not around, seriously don't think I'll ever trust again
In my case, the narc lies and gossips that I'm cold, distant, self-centered, socially inept, brainwashed, etc. There's no way to win. They're just awful.
I don't reject him, i am Just DONE...
I gave him his chance, 3 years of my life...!
The Blame is on him !
He is trying to reach out, sending me letters but i am DONE and won't come back, EVER !
I am Good Alone with my 2 cats and God by my side, at Peace 🕊️😌
HE IS the ONLY ONE in Control of my life❤❤❤
Try 33 years, can't believe I'm still alive.
12 years and im in this too. He abandoned me, my daughter, 9 pets and responsibilities of our home
@@dodibenabba525 33 years ?? 😳
You are so Brave !💯👌👍❤️
Be proud of yourself my Friend💖
And Thankful to God
It is a Miracle you are still alive
I wish you all the Best !
Hugs from Belgium 🇧🇪
@@ladyvirgo9514
May Almighty God help you my Friend🤲
The most Important thing is that you are Free !🕊️
It's gonna be ok with time God willing
I wish you all the Best and to your kids and pets too🥰
@mercyrahma9501 thank you. I wouldn't have made it without the Most High.
They always act like your are unstable and they are the victim,they smear your name and make you look soo bad,I walked away from a marriage of 16yrs,I loved my kids but I had to leave to live.These people never change n they will use u and all your resources and deplete you in the process disrespecting you...When u r not happy and always frustrated that is the time for you to leave her clean...They will use ur beautiful kids against you but remember these kids will grow n they will draw their own conclusions. Don't be afraid to walk away.
i cry for my kids but i will rather stay alone than be living with a woman that every man have access to in the name of supply , in this life you can't control how one use their body and etc , please leave before they give you dieses
After 6 years of living in hate and false love, I have been exhausted and over whelmed by her and her actions. I am moving on to live a full and happy life. Never look back and think of them as anything normal they are not.
Thanks Anoushka!❤⚘
Doors closed!!
No contact!!
Enjoy your new free peaceful happy life!!😀😀
Someone has to make a movie about Narcissist and how they behave, example: gaslighting, silent treatment, rage, manipulation, etc...then the title should be "Living the hell with COVERT NARCISIST". In a way many people would understand about this personality disorder. I don't know maybe a suggestion 😊.
Agreed. And I think the movie could be called "Exorcising the Demon" (to borrow from a comment above). LOL
@@vivianstewart7523 That would be nice as well😊.
I was thinking the same. The guy i was with, demon dave, could be the main character!
Stop fearing these people. Trigger, call them out force them to run!!!! Start standing up to them!! Change the game!!
Thank you for this. I've never been through so much torture than with my narcissistic family. I went no contact with them all.
Narcs never complete move on. That’s why they always think they need supply. They attract the other people by imitating you , but they also carry the memory of you into the new relationship. They’re identity thefts and people collectors.
Me too. I ✂️ off about 20 people. Mental and emotional freedom.
👍👍👍👍, CHEERS 🥂. They're History.....ALL of THEM 🤣🤣
Same. Also experienced nothing but abuse ,bad physical abuse through my whole childhood. Both are toxic ah
@angelfisher8843 not degrading or belittling u. Emotional and mental fitness is super important, but want to kind of enlighten u a little since the words narcissist & racist are used in instances that don't apply. A narcissist is a human that has a brain that can only focus on their way of thinking. They go thru the day thinking their thghts is how everyone thinks. Say for instance, put a task in root of a narcissist and the narcissist I know will think of a way to complete the task and only have an understanding of the way to complete the task is the way they've envisioned and they think it's the 100% correct way to do the task even if it's the hardest way possible. A narcissist only thinks their life and their view is the only one on the planet. Not so much self centered , yes & no . The one I know doesn't think everyone wants them, doesn't think the world is theirs , they just have the brain capacity to entertain their own thoughts & that's as far as their mind allows them to think. Some are different and different methods , but this is the gist.🧡
Yep once you decide that you are done and start to get the madness out of your life, you need to not trust anyone as the narc will be affronted and will tell everyone around you, including your family, that you are crazy, horrible, controlling etc. Stand in your own truth and do not be afraid to stand alone. Be your own best friend. You will need to be very strong and resolute. You will lose friends and family will view you as crazy for letting such a fabulous, handsome, funny and charming person go. Only you know your truth and that needs to be enough.
Once I went gray rock and radio silent, he had a knee jerk reaction. He tried to get me to come to him to communicate ,breaking my non contact- which didn’t work. I realized that buying food for the department was just a ploy to get me to go and thank him for the food- I didn’t fall for the trick. He got big mad that none of his manipulations worked. I think he has given up, at least for now. But I’m ready for him
I'm enduring a smear campaign from a former friend rn and this helped me- thank you.
As a retort you can say "well, that is half the story" and leave it at that!
@Robert Ferguson oh, I like that. Thanks!
All her friends and family hate me too it’s hard 😢x
@@Justdoit20024 same. I feel you. It sucks.
@@claritybadb we got this silence speaks volumes 👊🏾 x
I have no contact with a narcissistic sister who has been nothing but vile to the whole family and a complete professional victim. She has spent her time smearing us on podcasts using every narcissistic excuse to justify her lies. I took my power back once i knew who she was and once she knew that in know who she is. Obviously in her mind she is a hero and a victim and comes across as someone who is now living her best life. She keeps on writing to us, constantly telling us she wants nothing to do with us but it never seems to be the end. I for one, don't want to see her ever again. I don't wish her any harm i wish her happiness just very very very far away from me. I went no contact 3 years ago.
I want to ask you if you went no contact with your sisters family as well.
My SO has a malignant narcissistic mother who she went no contact with some years ago. But her aunt, who was the narcissists first victim, also when no contact about a year before.
My SO has tried several times to contact her aunt and explain, but has never gotten any answer. My SO can’t figure out why, as they were quite close once. I can make a few qualified guesses, but I don’t know if any of them is correct.
My brother abused me for years and years with verbal abuse calling me names. In the end, I called the police and the police viewed it as harassment. The police has now warned him that I want no more contact with him. At first I wasn’t sure because it was my brother. Now looking back on all what I’ve been through, I know I’ve done the right thing.
EXCELLENT message!!! Perfectly said!
It is with a heavy heart that I share my recent experience with my narcissistic mother. The revelation that she had wished me dead as a baby is a truth that has left me reeling with disbelief. The level of cruelty and lack of empathy exhibited by her is deeply disturbing and has led me to the conclusion that no contact is essential for my own well-being.
Despite the initial shock and pain, I have found a sense of liberation in hearing her confession. It has lifted the guilt and burden that I had been carrying for so long, and I am now able to fully recognize the toxic nature of our relationship.
It is a sad realization that I had natural haters from the moment of my birth, but it is also a testament to the strength of my own light and resilience. I refuse to allow someone with such low empathy and compassion to have any power over me. The decision to cut ties with her is one that I have made with a heavy heart, but one that is necessary for my own mental and emotional health.
Added to this, a couple months ago, I attended a Doctors visit wirh her. After years of her claiming to have serious heart problems and strokes, I finally took it upon myself to speak with her doctor during a normal physical. To my surprise, he informed me that my mother was in good health, and that she has not had a stroke in over 20 years. It was concerning to learn that my mother had been fabricating these health issues, and I hope that she will seek some help in the future. 🙏
Is your father in the picture mine was alienated from me at 5 by narc mom I’m 24 now do I seek him out ?
@@MrHarrymotta
Do what your heart desires.
@@MrHarrymotta
Unfortunately, it has been three years since my father passed away, along with my brother. Despite having moved away a long time ago, I was thrust back into the mix upon their passing, which reignited my mother's passion for hate. On my father's 74th birthday, my mother decided to reveal her desire for me to die. It was then that I discovered she had been hiding $300,000 of my father's money, a portion of which is rightfully mine. She has taken all of his belongings and told me I deserve nothing.
As her son, I am trying to take care of her, but I need her to be honest with me. Instead of admitting her lies and apologizing, she expressed her desire for me to die, which was devastating to hear. It is truly unfortunate that my mother is consumed by sadness, misery, and hate, leaving her alone.
This experience has been incredibly painful, and it is disheartening to witness such behavior from someone who is supposed to be a parent. While I have toned down my language, it is important for others to understand the gravity of this situation and the emotional toll it has taken on me.
@@JamesNGames why she hates u? What happened between you two?
@James N' Games , How are you? I hope you are doing well under the circumstances. Are you in therapy with a therapist or psychologist who practices in recovery from narcissistic abuse?
Thank you so much !!!
Another Outstanding Presentation !!!
Amen to everything you said!! Right on time baby!
My punishment last time was to be ignored. She is a neighbour. I can't be bothered playing this game any more.
You WANT to be ignored... Don't you????
@@almohvn33 I'm just trying to be a good neighbour to everyone , as I work away from home. But you're right. It would be great if I was ignored.
I wish my malig narc neighbour would do that. Instead she has relentlessly hunted me and the smear campaign has been very corrosive. I have practised No Contact for 5 years.
@@wayneelliott1180 5 years ? When does it end and normal life begin ?
@@crazycow8049 it’s the new normal lol. I keep records of her antics - discreetly of course - because the baits and provocations are myriad. She’s absolutely infuriated because I know exactly what she is, and she’s trying everything to demonise and isolate me. She’s here permanently. Eventually I’ll sell up and move, but in my own time not hers.
Wow this is SPOT on! Thank you for the much needed information.
I really appreciat you!!! This is all very informative!!
This was absolutely excellent, thank you so much for breaking it down so clearly
Thank you for all that you do for helping inform and empower those of us people who have lived through the Horrific Emotional Abuse of a Narcissistic person!💜
Watching your videos gives me hope!
This is the second video I’ve watched today and I’ve only just “found” you Anoushka. It’s so interesting listening to all of your explanations, and I’ve experienced a lot of this not only with one person but quite a lot in my life. Needless to say I have been learning about narcissists quite recently and it has opened my eyes, mind and spirit to the behaviour behind it. But once I started to learn more it’s really applicable to how I’ve been treated by others. Thank you ❤
Thank you! The nars I left said exactly what you said "I hope you are well"! Very helpful!
Thank you so much , it gives me hope to recover and to know it isn't my fault. Thanks again ❤
I did the silent treatment for 5 days. It was like exorcising a demon in the house. Then on the 6th day, she cooked a good meal and tried small talk. Like a sucker, I fell for it. It's hard to notice all of this in real time. It's not until you look in hindsight is when you will see it.
" It was like exorcising a demon in the house.". So true.
Wow, you make so much sense ❤
This was bang on wow !!! Thank you
You are amazing - thank you so much
So very helpful. Thank you.
Thank you 🙏. A beautiful message from a beautiful woman with a beautiful soul.
Deafening silence… is all that she “the ghost of a shell in the shadow” will ever hear from me.
Your time, money, and energy invested and sacrificed will never appreciate nor will you ever witness by word or action their “appreciation” in who you are genuinely and authentically, your character, traits, and morals as a healthy neuro-typical man with self and soul, of the many gifts of talent, street, courage, and resilience to overcome any obstacles placed upon your path during your life journey.
The Cluster B - Covert / Malignant NPD is a parasite riddled with cancerous personality and mental disease that is empty of self and soul, possesses envy, fear, shame, guilt, anger, rage, resentment for you that they even hate themselves more behind the mask of manipulation and projection.
The Narcissist takes everything and gives you nothing.
The Empath takes nothing and gives you everything.
In the end…The Empath who does the work, healed, and rebuilt in silence, alone, decides to completely detach and realizes that where there is nothing, there is everything!
The Narcissist and The Empath is a battle of soul; armor up!
Stay alert!
Stay alive!
Stay strong!
Peace ✌️
😊😊😊😊
🎯
Unfortunately, I have a kid w/ my own personal demon. & as much as I try to go no contact, it only ever results in her subjecting me to more Parental alienation from her. Now, she only shares the bills I havta pay. Strangers on Facebook hear much more about my son than I do now.
Here to try finding a better solution
@@reallue I understand. You’re not alone.
I have 4 children. They are grown adults with their own families and children of their own.
The Cluster B $hit $how circus will forever use the children as pawns to obtain supply to feed the demon. The children see and know more than you could fathom. When the time is right speak with the purest of heart with them to ensure them that “it is not their fault.”
Only God may have mercy or vengeance; you shall not!
The Narcissist and The Empath is a battle of the soul; armor up! Cut the chords of enmeshment and deliver deafening silence with zero contact.
I speak from 20 year experience unknowingly married to a clinically diagnosed Cluster B FULL spectrum covert/malignant/somatic BPD, NPD, ASPD, HPD with MPD, Substance abuse and addiction and much more all hidden behind a well constructed mask that had a mental breakdown and ALL became exposed and disclosed all from her childhood and adolescent years.
I never raised hand nor voice during 20 years and the court awarded her everything leaving me nothing and she is the one who destroyed everything…
Stay alert!
Stay alive!
Stay strong!
Peace ✌️
Anoshka I cannot thank you enough absolutely AMAZING you are helping me sooo much I'm in a dark place atm bless you lovely lady 🙏🙏💜❤💜❤💜❤🥰💐💐👍👍👍💜❤💜💐💐
Thank you Anoushka
Absolutely so true.
Great video.👍. Seems hard for you to talk about some stuff and for that I’m sorry for what you have been through. Take happiness in the help and reassurance your giving others! Please keep it up!❤️
Thank you for a great wise video - right on time.
Wow this is so enlightening. I didn't have a clue for so long. I went all in and ignored all the red flags. I'm so grateful I did some research and finally found out what I was dealing with. I have been no contact so far so good!
Thank you Anoushka , that helped immensely and I’m finally getting to see the light ❤🙏🙏we need you to guide us ❤❤
Thank you for this video. I blocked all of my former girlfriends contact info and went completely off her radar 6 years ago. And yes, I did lose mutual friends who were part of the campaign against me. Also telling was how some people came to my defense without my asking. The two occasions where she saw me caused her to literally hop into her car and speed off....with ZERO reaction from me. Value your existence and time will help you heal from the wounds that they must inflict to justify their painful realty.
This is what they need because everything is about them.
I just quit calling him to see how he is doing. He created his own problems by being the BIG EGO they have.
I do not care what he does becaue everyone knows what he is like.
So glad I moved out of California to Colorado! I deletd his name and number.
Thank you, Anoushka. I love your videos. Thank you so much.😅
Thank you Anoushka!!!❤x
Let them drag you through the dirt, embrace the fact that they’re obsessed with what you have.
i just dumped her and started silent treatment but its so hard to do this towards her. as much as i went through mental emotion pain, im doing my best to continue doing this
I know this was a month ago and I hope you stuck to that but if you are like me (a good narc mark) then you probably let her back in. I did several times and it doesn't get better. And as much as you want to help her you are not actually helping. They know what they are and they know how they continue to hurt us and they do it anyway. I don't know if it's a desire to manipulate through subtle and not so subtle control or if it's a defense mechanism built on trauma but it's direct harm to us and they know it. I know I was just a mark and I know I meant something to her but only because I was a good mark. It's very hard to walk away because it a powerful illusion of connection. Every time we show them how much we love to be there for them they look down on us for being weak.
@@1badombre82 thanks for writing back ! You won’t believe what I found out since I wrote my first comment. I’ve been with her for over two and half years and she’s been out to clubs having affair with multiple guys. I’ve seen IG posts with her clearly visible making out and it tore be apart. How she looks pretty and so innocent and made me believe she can’t do such a thing. She must think I’m the biggest idiot who is so easy to control. For god sakes… she’s a single mother of 3!
I asked her what are you doing ? This isn’t who I know. She used the typical deny tactic and that I have a problem who needs to seek mental help. I’m really shocked what I saw and has added more pain ontop of narc abuse trauma. I’m out and never looking back.
…don t let her come back
She will destroy u.
Made that mistake.
Don’t.
Just don’t
@@1badombre82 thank you!
@@antoniovillani8692 thank you!
Thank You so much for explaining this hard situation 😞🙏🏻❤️🩹
Thanks for this educational message.
Your videos really help. Thank you
Thank you for this highly informative video. You have just confirmed that I made the right choice with Silent Treatment. I have cut of all communication. Occasionally I still receive letters and postcards, but I never read them. I tear them to pieces and dump them. Thanks again, your words really helped me.
It's always the right choice to leave block ,yr right your not doing the wrong thing,all your doing is protecting your self and any family kids etc the fact your on yr way mean yr the good yr the kind or caring person cos you sussed them good luck 🙏
It has been many years since I cut off my narcissist wife. October 2014. I have found that it is a continual process of healing if you have been with a narcissist for a long period of time. There are seasons of healing in different areas that I have gone through in my journey. At times, things trigger me much like PTSD. I find myself having to stop and process why I just felt or did what I did. At the time that I took control of my life I didn't even know the word narcissistic or what it was, I learned that from a friend who supported me for the first couple years of getting away from her. She was quite the master. I like what you said toward the end of this video about them defaming you to your mutual friends/aquitances, not worrying about defending yourself and just accepting it. It got to a point that when I cut her off and took my life back, I told her "I don't care what she says to anyone, as a matter of fact I told her she can blame me", I didn't care.
We had a young child involved that we had power of attorney of since birth, we had planned to adopt, neither of us had legal custody of her. However, from birth, she was given my last name. She was in all sense of the matter, my daughter. She was three years old at the time I decided to take my life back. From the beginning, the whole situation with my daughter was a power play by my narcissistic ex-wife to always maintain control. When I walked away, she had possession of my daughter, and I had no legal rights. My ex-wife tried many times to regain the power and control over me that she lost. My attorney told me to stay away from my ex-wife, but I wanted to keep seeing my daughter. This came back to bite me because when all else failed, she took my daughter from me by filing a no contact order so that I could no longer see my daughter. What she had put in the filing were things from the past that she said I did when, in fact, they were things that she did to me, like I said, a master. I was devastated and hoped one day I would see my daughter again. Unfortunately, I have never seen my daughter again. She did this to gain the "ONLY" control she had left over me. She knew it would devastate me, and it did.
It took three years for me to begin to breathe again. At the time, I decided to leave the area because I knew if I didn't, my ex-wife would go to any measure to get at me or cause irreparable damage to my life. She wasn't going to be the loser or look like the party at fault. I didn't care if I looked at fault, but I wanted to protect myself legally. I moved about an hour away and let very few people know where I went. I got a PO Box and did not use my new physical address on anything for three years and until after our divorce was final. I essentially vanished from friends and aquitances because I knew that if she knew where I was, she would try to destroy me. I had many people ask where I went through social media, but I explained to them that I couldn't tell them because of the situation. I basically started my entire life all over. I even changed jobs. Years later, my ex-wife burned every bridge that she had with our friends/aquitances just like a narc does. Every single one of them have now told me they knew/know that my ex was a narcissist or that something was wrong with her. She has now moved to another state with her new husband. Poor guy.
It has taken time, I never defended myself or tried to explain it to anyone because I knew time always tells the true story. Things have a way of revealing themselves. She also has a son who was older at the time that we were together. He is a grown man now. About a year and a half ago, he hunted me down, and we reconnected. Unfortunately, he has also cut his mom off and does not speak to her because of the mental abuse he endured from her his whole life. When her and I split up, a lot of the mental abuse was transferred to him. Him and I have talked about the mental abuse that we have both endured by her. He went as far as to make sure I knew that it wasn't my fault and that I couldn't help his mom. He knows how much I thought I loved her, LOL. Of course, I have never talked ill of his mom to him, encouraged or discouraged his decision of not having a relationship with her, nor would I ever do that. I have let him know that is solely his decision. I am glad to have him in my life and to have been able to let him know how much I love him. It has brought me another measure of healing in my journey. We, of course, have made an agreement that his mother can never know where I live.
Anyway, I just wanted to share a blip of my story and say it hasn't been easy, but it was and is worth it. It is a continual process and journey, I have prayed a lot, and I have God on my side. I now have a wonderful life with a beautiful and sweet girlfriend who will soon be my wife. God has a purpose in everything we go through. With Him, we can endure all things. If you're going through this, have Faith in Him to see you through it, and He will. God Bless 🙏
Thanks for sharing your blip experience... I'm in similar situation with 2 beautiful kids that I adore so much and she knows it, she alienated me from them for over two years and claiming that I don't take care of their needs so they don't need me. I worry about my kids everyday I wonder how they're going to grow up with such a narc mother, makes me feel so bad but like you said, time will reveal all truth and I've resigned myself to that and pray that they grow up wise to reconnect with me someday. Until then, I've gone no contact and saving all I can for my kids to give to them when they eventually reconnect. I hope to God its the best decision. Thank you again
I am in a situation where I live w my narcissistic mother and the only reason I can’t leave right now is financial. I have 2 kids and my doggie and I refuse to leave them behind because I don’t want any of them to become her next targets. My kids are older, son 22 and daughter 17 but are not financially independent enough. So unfortunately I have to endure this for about another year and a half until we all can leave. Right now I’m just doing limited contact as much as possible. Could careless what she does or says to other people about me. I know who I am and what I believe in. Yes and time will tell the truth. It always comes out. She’s ruined countless relationships between family members and friends. Any advice u can give me since I still have to remain in this evil environment???
Your story is long , but it really hit home with me how excruciating of a life you have lived. Sad. I’m so glad you believe in an Almighty God, & have Faith and prayers.
It’s hard for me to come to terms he is a REAL BONAFIDE narcissist . My mind plays tricks on me. Almost 26 years of Marriage… just got fed up when I pulled the “I’m Not putting up with this anymore” … then the High Statute Business man walked out and went to his mother and blamed EVERYTHING ON ME, made himself the total poor victim and me the Horrible abuser.
Really sad. I hope Jesus can help him. It’s been 3.5 months gone.
I’m crying a lot, but now it’s getting better cuz Jesus is helping me
Thanks for sharing . I hope my narc child sees his father for who he truly is ..🙏 it's hard but God will help me get through this
Brilliant video
Thank you for helping people that have been abused by narcs. This channel helps me so much.
Glad the videos have helped 😊😊
They also want you to think that you are the problem and that this is all your fault, you actually rock this without even trying. Best knowledge i ever have encountered then right here, they will do everything to make you feel the bad person. Thank you for the facts and best regards.
Re a friendship, not a romance. Due to Narc Abuse, I cut off communication, & went NO contact 5 months ago. She Even withheld promised money. Last week, after no contact, I received THE CARD. "I guess you don't miss me? No need to reply.......I wanted to wish you well, etc. etc. etc. It spooked me. I burned the card in a ritual. Thank you for your wisdom.
Very helpful.
man your freaking genius
Thank you for this information
Let the Narcissist live with your silence.
Go NO SUPPLY, VALIDATION, NO CONTACT. KEEP IT THAT WAY.
THE NARCISSIST WILL DO WHAT THE NARCISSIST DO.
Who cares. NOT ME!!!
amen,you are spot on!
They triangulate like crazy. They parade one replacement after another right under your nose. I can't imagine what they told the third party to get them to cooperate. I think they're a type of flying monkey that agrees to it. Where they find these people I can't guess. I find it amusing.
They play victim with monkeys. That's how they get them to cooperate.
ha yes watching this play out right now the replacement is just a mare toy feel sorry for them as you see your self in that moment also , you you cant help them at this time they are drama bounded, remember out of respect we where there one time also public victims unaware everyone else knows your with a crazy person and no one dare say a thing.
Monkeys of a feather flock together.
Very true that is what I'm going through pushing his knew supply under my nose daily as I live next door the smug look every time I walk past them 😟😟😢😢
Thank you from the ❤
I was married to a narcissist and just ended a relationship with one. It was two and a half years until her narcissism came out. In less than a month, she destroyed my kids and me. As soon as I set boundaries she was at the bar every night looking for a new guy.
Brother my. " Malignant Narcissist " gf or X gf. ) we were only together a year , but she nearly Destroyed my life
@@gma729They try to steal your soul!!!! Demon possessed!!!!
Thank you for this. As a scapegoat one I'm ok, I never fall for their dysfunctional nonsense. While I was abroad for 20 years they immediately fall for the 1st narc I met so if they want to be a fractal o a fractal o f
A Fractal it ends up being nada de nada for me. It is the Space I have been begging all my life! On the contrary: I appreciate that they went on their own showing me how empty shells they are inside. No one is home. I had never met people so closed minded.
Very educational, thx.
I love my wife so much been married 38 yrs
Ended it with a narc after day of hell. I've known him since 2009 in another city. We had great times but never lasted long, he would get upset over the most innocent thing but would take as criticism -took me away weekends etc and it could be ruined over the simplest things when he took it as criticism. There was always excuses for his behaviour and at first I gave him benefit of the doubt (his father had passed away, he was going through a divorce) but the cycle repeated over the many times we got together again -the fun we had when we did was intense and amazing, he is super funny and would make me laugh so much my stomach hurt. I always loved him, long storey short, I left the province in 2015 unbeknownst to him and one day fall of 2015 he contacts me again to see how I'm doing to which he learned I had moved. Even though I no longer lived in the same province, he would still try to keep contact. Through this time, I met someone else and finally told him I had met someone and was very happy. He still tried to keep in touch and out of respect for my relationship I started not to respond and also saw his number on my phone many times. I didn't respond for a few years and figured that chapter is closed forever. It didn't work out, me and my boyfriend ended things. Time passed and I learned that my narc had now also left that city, province and had moved in another province 3hrs from me. Needless to say, we started communicating again and I finally took his offer to come get me and catch up and for him to show me his new home, meet some of his friends etc. This is now 2023. I am thinking he must of grown, he said he went to therapy -he went through a lot in the past 3yrs from you know what-and couldn't take it anymore. We had an amazing time, he took me around and told me about every spot in his new town, cooked for us etc. We talked about the past, he talked about how he though he would never see me again and how happy he was that all these years later having met in a whole different place, we found ourselves both living in the same part of the world. He talked about the future, how he wants us to be together and for me to make my own friends there in time etc. Well, it was amazing but short lived - he took something the wrong way and I told him I didn't mean it as such and he would not let it go so we can enjoy the evening and not let a simple miscommunication ruined it. He kept sulking and sitting at one location while I'm sitting alone on the sofa with my glass of wine watching a movie. After 2 movies like this, I decided I am just going to go to bed. I tried and he immaturely is intent on keeping his distance speaking to me from his seat at the island. I asked politely if he minded if I retired for the night and he said no so off I am to bed. Well he snores, I couldn't sleep once he went to bed and now I felt uncomfortable and exhausted and when exhausted I too can snore and under all these circumstances I decided to sleep on the sofa (I did it before so not new). Well, I got woken up very early by his incredibly loud stomping through the living room etc like a child having a tantrum clearly wanting to wake me up to which he ORDERED me out of the room as he had work to do on his laptop -7am and it was a day in hell. Prior to my coming, he had already made a commitment to help a friend clear his land of much fallen trees and debris from post-topical storm Fiona. I was totally fine with that and said I would help out. A bunch of other friends were to be there that I would also meet. Well, to my great disappointment and hurt, it was one of the worst days in my life. I still am heart broken but this cannot be allowed. I love him, I wish it wasn't so. It's hard. After that looooong day in hell, I did not say a word to him on the drive back to his place. When we arrived I said I was going to bed to which he stated he was going to drive me back home the next morning to which I replied "Good enough'. 7am angrily orders me out of bed -no coffee, grab your sh-t-and told me if I said one word he would leave me on the bridge and I would have to find my way home. Few days later, he writes me an email with the title "You're a clown" and telling me I was trying to undermine him with his friends and to never contact him again. Though that was pretty sad considering he in no way had a leg to stand on to be taking that stance and the below was my reply to him. I did get 2 other emails from him the next day, one was sent in am and the other in evening but I didn't read them, I figured I'd save myself from more vitriols (anything less then a real live apology and admitting you have a problem is of no interest to me). I did sent him another email telling him to please stop contacting me and that I would not read his messages. "Excuse me?? You have the gall to say this to me? I've never been treated with such abuse - ordering me like a Nazi and telling me not one word and be quiet like some dog then I made the best of it and still went and worked hard for a while-no work shirt like you said you'd have and it took another man to consider my well being and lend me appropriate clothing, to then not be introduced to the other guys when we first breaked when I know no one else and I am not from there to then have the AUDACITY to tell me I am being anti social after the way you yelled at me and ordered me around angrily, hostile first thing in the am to the point I felt very uncomfortable and not in a safe place with your behavior to then being a good sport and did my part under the circumstances and made the best of it to finally getting some food at 8:30pm for the first time that day.....
And rather than an apology (how you treated me is unforgivable) you repeated it the very next morning.
You can't be that stupid, you have to know what you've done which makes you an asshole.
You have a big problem and you need therapy. Not ok.
What you're offering, I don't want.
Find yourself another girl but for her sake get some help.
Peace."
Great stuff. Funnily enough I gave the narc in my life the silent treatment before I even realised they are a narc and before I knew anything about grey rock and the silent treatment. And yes, it drove them insane, crying round the kitchen table etc etc etc.
Thanks a lot !
thanks for the video. great to view an actual intelligent and unadorned woman speaking so eloquently. Aside from wondering how someone could know so much of the human psyche from mere experience I wonder how do you connect this madness to the spiritual realm. new subscriber .
I love your vibe
'Just went through this breadcrumbing/ hoovering in late February after months of being used and manipulated. I had pretty much gone no contact...only briefly responding/ replying when contacted by her... _(no initiating on my part. When I first met her I should've heeded some of her first words to me about how she liked it when people chased her, instead, and also how she actually even kiddingly referred to herself as a narcissist. That should have pretty much told me up front all I needed to hear, but no, silly me. She was crafty and good at her game.)_
After 2.5 months of me minding my own business, out of nowhere, she calls and left a message about how she was thinking of me that day and just wanted to say "Hi". _(This I believe to have been premeditated by her as she was only laying her bait in order to switch it up to be the one leaving me.)_ Hesitantly I replied back in a distant manner... _(mainly I replied back because I was trying not to piss her off by completely avoiding her....you never know how someone will react nowadays.)_ I returned her call the next day and found her to be instigating, slightly taunting, etc.. After overstepping boundaries with a couple rude questions I politely ended the call. She then tried to keep me on the line, but I did proceed to end the call. _(Right before saying "goodbye" she squeezed in saying a couple times "Hey, stay in touch." )_
The following evening I sent her a brief, lighthearted instant message and got back a very delayed reply of a couple emojis...very out of character for her. About a week later I had a quick question to ask her and messaged her again only to receive a three word answer. Ironically, I never heard back from her again...even after a week earlier SHE had asked me to stay in touch.
I'm pissed at myself for, _(in effort to not hurt her feelings when she was the one who had first reached out to me)_ , that I even re-engaged with her at all _(as brief as it was)_ , so as not to hurt her by just ignoring the voicemail she left to reopen communication. These narcs are pure evil.
Similar experience here! My ex narc is married and contacted me, and makes it seem as if I initiated contact lol😅 loser!
Never never never respond back .
,,,the live chat thing sounds good... :) @ (3:59) if you are following guidance from within, and your soul is stronger than you are, then stopping responding doesn't mean rejection; it means that your soul is stopping you from making contact, even though you might think it was for instance, the kind thing to do, - but also, speaking ordinarily, pausing response can actually just mean that you don't honestly know what to do at this point, and you want to wait until you are sure before you act, because, as you know, the stakes are very high, - it's as if you were playing chess with a professional opponent - there is a right move, and sometimes you have to be completely patient, until you are clear about what the right move is :) - really a beautiful video anoushka
Bless you
But first you’ll get a series of electronic hoovers, hoping you’ll respond so that they can dump you to get the control back. Never give them that chance.
I used this exactly to deliver the same medicine and hell it worked like a nuke... thank you for your wisdom Anoushka!
A narcissist is delusional is every aspect of their lives. I got diagnosed with stage 4 head and neck cancer 6 years ago my wife left me and moved to another state with another man mid treatment and said I ruined her happy ever after. I went through divorce court with her lying thinking dead men can’t talk. I was so sick I don’t care and she got 90 percent. 4 years later to my disbelief, I get a phone call from her saying she was sorry and to forgive her and ask if I would remarry her! Come to find out the man she left me for left her and she needed money and security. True story
Stay strong Kevin
Great assessment. I used to and still believe there's only so many moves a certain human chess piece can make in the game.
You've thought this through and it's the most logical moves they can make, even with their twisted "logic." Maybe "logic" is
not the right word. "Juvenile game playing mentality," better describes it.
GAME OVER! I’m not playing their littles games any longer. People that have taken from me for years and have drained me are the people that are supposed to care about me the most. My own grown three kids are all guilty of this. “Mom do you think that you can help me out or do me a favor”? Pay a bill or buy some groceries for them. Meant that I will not be paying you back by $$$$ or favors. I can’t even get a Happy Mother’s Day. My husband texts all three of them and told them to do so. After babysitting Mondays thru Fridays7AM-6PM driving to their house using my car, not one dime, I mean not even a cheeseburger for lunch. I went all no contact and my kids asks “What’s wrong with Mom” to my husband. We were at a buffet once and I had said to my daughter will you pay for mine, she replied “NOPE”. The last birthday party for my brother and I was when (our birthdays were one year four days apart) I turned 13 August 16, 1977 Yep the day Elvis died leaving all of the adults crying and they all left the party early.
Thank u so much for this video, you are spot on the smear campaigned really gets to me but this video helps me to believe they are never my true Friends
Ostrich tactics too
Yes, my x was the epidemy of the arrested adolescent. never more than 14 years old in his brain! Period.
That is very helpful
They hate it, it stresses the cr*p out of them.
Thank u ...💙🙏🙏🙏
❤the Best ❤
I needed this reminder and validation that I'm doing the right thing. That doesn't make it easy but thank you nontheless.
I had a narc sister who married money, got into blow, quietly smeared me and alienated may parents from me - kid glove treatment - for years. Holidays were her show and I just stopped traveling to attend. Didn't know then that behind my back I'd always been her patsy. For not attending fam events I was further scapegoated. I never betrayed her blow issues with parents. But she had readily used my weed affection repeatedly. Spread that to all the cousins and whole town. All to cover her blow thing.
I found it much easier to dismiss the whole bunch - and moved many towns away - flying monkeys were not an issue because they could all tell how the money she married had them all mesmerized - eating from her hand all the stories she had.
50 years later and I do not feel as though I missed a thing.
Dated my hubby for years and been married for just a year, saw the red flags when courting but didn't recognize it until I stumbled on a narcissist videos when I was hurting then I realized that I'm trapped. Right now I'm building myself before I move tup to the next step.
Brilliant,because this is exactly what I have done gone completely no contact with my last girlfriend and she has triedone texting me and left a voicemail 2 days ago after being parted for 4 months???Also not bothered about what she is thinking at all,she can rot as far as I am concerned and she can narc on her next poor victims. Thank you for this vlog so very very much and keep safe and well always.
12:50 ---TRUTH.
Very good
Omg 7:09....he did this all the time..."hope you are well and happy" * after I ignored you for 2 weeks...ugh they are putting out feelers for the reaction..normally I'd say" I'm depressed, miss you, can i see you"...
now that I've healed and got away....I can say "who dis?" Or "I'm great"....and nothing else.....😊
useful, thanks
Greet video 🙏🏽
First of all they think you are simply being RIDICULOUS ! You are just over-reacting to something ! You are just being childish and melodramatic . Then after a few weeks they make jokes about it to others , shrugging and saying you are being ' silly ' , having a paddy , a weird moment ,..but you'll be in touch ! After another month they will leave a carefree quick message as if nothing is wrong , then when they begin to panic another week later a more sarcastic passive aggressive ramble . Finally , another two to three months later two more final brief calls ,..one completely silent ,..then the last ,..a single ...simple.. quiet... huff ! THE END ! They will be hoping that the guilt of the trauma bond will trigger you , MUST trigger you to respond , as it always has before , and like a scolded puppy you will come cowering back with your tail between your legs ! Such it the utter arrogance and sense of total self importance !! When another two months pass they FINALLY begin to realise you are serious ( they never think that you are truly serious , because they think you are basically a joke ) , and that's when the NASTY switch is flicked on ! It's not long after that that they start BRANDING you are the crazy one , the one who dumped them for NO REASON AT ALL ! They will refer to your ' behaviour ' as being unprompted and totally juvenile . This is a trick , a sly way of saving face whilst at the same time still appearing superior . It is ALL about saving face ! However inside they are FURIOUS ! You have actually dealt them a huge ego blow , because you have exposed their FAKE REALITY , and that shakes them to the core . You are in effect telling them they are NOT POWERFUL , NOT SPECIAL , AND NOT ALL IMPORTANT !!! How VERY VERY dare you ! 😂💪💪❤️
Well said! 🤗
So well said man, you perfectly described my father and my no contact situation. It's been a few months and those reactions were spot on
If someone wants to treat like crap and walk away let them it’s there loss show them how much of a good life you have now since there gone do all the things they stopped from doing one life live it never look back ❤