I'm in psychosis right now
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- čas přidán 15. 06. 2024
- I dunno, just watch the video.
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My daughter just got diagnosed with this and it's been very hard to understand what she's going through
.she thinks I'm her worse enemy, that I steal from her and take her personal belongings. I'm not sure what to do.
@@juanitagranillo1747 first remind your daughter that her personal belonging you bought it. tell her to knock that shit off, if she wants to go she can leave at anytime. let her schizo side that you have a boundery.
.Psalm 34:18
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit
❤️🙏
Well done. You're doing a great service here trying to educate people about this all too common affliction. Your courage is a testament to your character. I can honestly say I wouldn't have the courage to post my own episodes despite that it is important people see and understand what this illness is actually like for those of us who must live with it. I only wish I could do more to support you.
@@bruggeman672 How much do you think is medication induced ?
I’m a clinician at a psychiatric hospital, and I just wanted to tell you that videos like this are incredibly helpful for providers like me. Your vulnerability is a gift to others, and it informs the care I provide to people experiencing psychosis. It’s a privilege to learn from you ❤
You are a clinician and you truly believe that this woman is “in psychosis now?” Then I am sorry but you do not know what psychosis is. When someone is psychotic they can not speak that rationally. She seems like a great actress.
@@nadiaraikin8102 I’m trying to judge you too hardly right now but your comment makes it really hard. I assume you have no idea or have never experienced psychosis yourself. Educate yourself please
@@nadiaraikin8102 i agree. Its fake
Psychosis is a spectrum. One can’t typically perceive it from the outside.
Generalizing about a mental illness says to me you have no clue about mental illness. Psychosis may affect different people in different ways unless you are saying psychosis affects the vocal chords?
She’s working so hard. This is the most under-control psychotic state I’ve ever seen. I know were not seeing the really bad stuff; but the fact that she can make this video during psychosis is no small feat.
She definitely has a lot of insight into her illness. Which is amazing. Most ppl with schizophrenia lack insight and some have no insight that they actually have schizophrenia. Again I believe she has put in a lot of work and has amazing support so she can concentrate on her illness.
You give so much hope to others!
Absolutely. She's incredible person. I hope she sees that. She brings so much peace to all who struggle with mental health.
It’s so great to see a group of people being so supportive instead of trying to rip her to shreds during such a challenging time. ❤
@@YourFutureExWife I agree !!
Thank god people like you exist and share this so openly. Please never stop being you.
You are loved
My dear, you are amazing. I have worked as a clinical psychologist for 20 + years, and you rarely see a person who is suffering from psychosis with such a degree of insight and awareness. What you just did in this video requires courage, reflects a remarkable sense of self-engagement and self-commitment, and is quite helpful for those people who suffer from a chronic psychiatric condition and those who deal with mental patients on a daily basis. Thanks for sharing your perspective on such a complex matter. My best wishes to you and I hope you feel 100% fine soon.
I'm a psychotherapist and have had the privilege of working with lots of folks who experience psychosis. Sharing yourself during such a vulnerable time is the opposite of weak or shameful - it's courageous and generous and deserving of gratitude and respect.
That's really nice.
True.
Exactly !
You are an inspiration to me as I respect your courage & devotion to providing awareness of your personal life & symptoms you deal with from Schizophrenia
I doubt you've ever had a patient with schizophrenia. This woman is perfectly mentally healthy. For her, schizophrenia apparently means not putting on your make up.
Please do not feel embarrassed. I appreciate your openness. You're helping my teen dtr, and you're helping me understand what my daughter goes through. We're grateful to you.
Absolutely! Thanks for saying this ❤
Same here
Helping my son
Helping me understand my son
I wish u could get into see your
Doctor
Agreed thank you for being honest. I appreciate your full transparency. It helps me understand my son better
Hear in Texas I am scared to be open. And knowing I can't be honest with my doctor. Because they would lock me up people don't understand psych hospitals are prisons essentially prisons
I understand. With chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia 30 yrs I look picture of health. I work hard to look ok, it makes me feel better but people think if I am out and look ok I am ok. They don't see me in bed about 50 to 70% of the time. This video is good for those who suffer with what you have. Many of us understand. Even without your illness. You are very brave.
My mother had paranoid psychosis; your behavior mirrors my mother's behavior. This video explains so much. Thank you
What is she doing? I don't notice anything. I'm trying to understand.
@@kristenwalker3068i assume the constant zoning out etc
The pain in your eyes, it just . . . I ache for you. and I will always support you and your channel.
Really well put. I can see the same thing in my sister's eyes and my heart aches too
I’m 21 years old. I was diagnosed with schizoaffective bipolar disorder 2 years ago. Thank you for making me feel less alone with your videos
I have that too, its hell.
@@paulflint6254 what do u hear feel and see?
My dad has the same but he abuses substances. Do I just lose hope or how do I help with the paranoia? He thinks that there are cameras all over his apartment. What do I do
@@sarvaiseMy gut reaction would be to share your concern about his health with him but I'm almost certain he would react defensively and aggressively so I wouldn't rush into that. It's in my experience fathers have a sense of pride and responsibility to not be seen or told as weak, even when they show weakness, so of course in pointing out 'weakness' they will be defensive. As for what you can currently do, take him seriously in his fears but dont entertain them. For example, promote distilling the fear but not extending it. Offer to check for the cameras, sweep the house and calm the immediate fear, but when the paranoia comes up again, keep reminding of logic (such as hes been in the house the whole time its not possible for them to be there , or its physically impossible for cameras to be hidden in walls without it being apparent ect ect) as to why its not the case instead of repeatedly checking the house time and time again. Calm but not entertain/encourage. This will hopefully let him feel that you're not against him, that you can be trusted so when it comes time to take future steps in help, he wont have so many walls up (hopefully). Im assuming alot here about both him and the situation so take it all with a grain of salt. If you notice things getting worse, reach out to a anonymous helpline and ask them as professional volunteers (if thats the case in your country) what you should do, they might say to refer him for a hospital stay, or for you to talk to him about it depending on your safety (again i have no clue your situation, im just going by my mentally unwell father experience) Sometimes, there is no convincing a parent as their child, and thats something you have to accept as not your responsibility. You are not responsible for his health no matter what traditions might disagree. Theres only so much you can do, and if it even remotely crosses your mind, take care of yourself first. Like i said, dont take this as bible advice, just some thoughts from personal experience on similar situations and as a schizoaffective myself. Hope it helps though
sometimes it feels like all we need to do is to learn to live with psychosis. I mean all people every now and then get somewhat psychotic, whether they smoke weed or just think about something, someone a bit too hard. but when we're really psychotic, us schizophrenics, I think it's way more intense than with healthy people and it's near impossible to go on just living like it's normal for weeks, even days. next time it happens to me, which may be soon just because I'm gonna post this comment, I'm gonna remind everyone that I didn't want this for my life, that I was never in control of my life, that the disease limited me, that I didn't have no support, that I was on my own for way over a decade, that there's things that can't be fixed anymore, that I've been robbed of so many things, like celebrating birthdays, new years, having sex, kissing and being in love, enjoying marijuana, having a good time in amsterdam (where I went two times), having a good time in college, how empty all these years have been, for many years I listened to a very limited catalogue of songs, seen very little movies, clicked on very few videos on youtube... and it's all because of schizophrenia. I'm gonna remind them where they were at 20 years old and where I was, I'm gonna remind them where they were at 23 years old and where I was, where they were at 27 years old and so on and so forth. how many times they've been to Ljubljana or Maribor, or London or Prague, or the sea, how many joints they smoked and enjoyed, the home parties they've been in compared to my miserable empty life. and how I'll never have that cause I'll never be young again. I can't go study now and have that life, I'll be 14 years older than everyone else in first semester, shit, much older than everyone going for their masters degree. how my brother, mum, dad, grandmas could have had a different life hadn't I gotten schizophrenia, how our home could be more lively, with people coming in, like girlfriends and friends... maybe my brother and I would both have families by now. and they laughed at me, they laughed at me djing music for them. when I just didn't know what's really going on, didn't see how things are, was deep down in the plato's cave. and I'll tell them that I did go to the psychotherapy of psychosis department of the clinic in Ljubljana and how, in my eyes, they embarassed themselves. it was supposed to be "the best thing we have in slovenia" but it turned out to be total bullshit. and why do I have schizophrenia? if people did this to me, let people fix it. if God did this to me, let God fix it. why should I put in the work? they say I should do this and that, it's all baby steps, it's all hard, nothing makes sense, like why tf should I stress myself, when it's not my fault, it was not my decision, my plan, that I've gotten mentally ill. looking back, I couldn't have done a thing differently than I did, cause I was the way I was, functioning the way I was at that time. the question is, could they have done some things differently than they did.
Dang. When I’m in psychosis I would have no clue how to turn on a camera, talk to it, and upload it. No one can even understand what I’m trying to say at those times. Your awareness and insight is incredible.
Psychosis is not just hearing voices, its any break with reality. This included derealization, depersonalzation and dissoation.
She's just acting for the views 😒
@@No-xs1noI agree 100%!!!
@@No-xs1noUm. No. She is amazing and super transparent and does well much of the time. As someone with multiple family members with her disorder, she is very obviously NOT faking her diagnosis - even if it makes you feel better to think so. She is currently working publicly with a care team that is the leading group of researchers in bipolar and schizophrenia. They wouldn't put their own credibility on the line without a clear and definitive diagnosis.
you are a nobody@@No-xs1no
As a nurse and someone that struggles with mental wellness, you are extraordinary!!! Thank you for sharing you!
My mother was schizophrenic. I think the paranoia is a huge part of the disease. You are incredibly wise to see it. Hugs to you.
So is mine.
@@aprilmingone3271 Encounter Ministries CZcams channel. Mark Hemans==
@@aprilmingone3271 so was mine as well it seemed
@@perrycoffey5410 awe it’s hard being the kid of someone suffering from this isn’t it?! You wanna help the best you can but try why have to try too.
Yes the paranoia is the hard bit to understand.
Because of you I'm going to be more honest with my doctor about what I am experiencing. Your video isn't pointless, because I know that feeling. I feel like half a ghost. You got this.
Be honest, but be careful. Psychiatrists are caring doctors, but they are required by law, depending upon what you say and the specific words you use, to admit you to a psychiatric ward or hospital...and once this happens, you will lose all your rights to choose if you want to stay there, what medications they'll make you take while you're in there, and most importantly, when you will be permitted to leave, if ever. Your situation and feelings are valid, but I would simply suggest finding a person, place and way to help yourself that's not affiliated with the state government. I love you and you are not a ghost and you just need LOVE from elsewhere. ♡♡♡♡
@@junemoonchild69 Excellent advise!!!
@@junemoonchild69 Great advice. Wish I had that advice 10 years ago. Sad that psychiatry cares more about controlling us than helping us.
Been there.
@@junemoonchild69 Thank you, I really needed that man. Love you too whoever you are across the world! Stay safe!
I could remember several years ago, I got diagnosed with cptsd. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my mom recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 6 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
Congrats on your recovery. Most persons never realizes psilocybin can be used as a miracle medication to save lives. Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death bud, lets be honest here.
Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Australia. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them
YES very sure of Dr.benfungi. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
Mushrooms are very medicinal. This is why anybody familiar with psilocybin and any other kind of fungi will tell you, "They are alive." They have a very ancient wisdom. To my experience, all mushrooms have always said, "Pay attention to your life. How you think, how you feel, and what will you do with the information that you always knew, but now are seeing in this point of view." This is why mushrooms are so respected in tribal cultures. This mental health treatment works for me too. Half micro doses do the trick for me. At least a few days at a time with lengthy time in between. Never addictive. Thank you for sharing this point!
How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta
What an amazing work you do, Lauren. My son is just now beginning to recover from a psychotic episode, the first one he has had while fully on his medication. It was so frightening. He was however, under stress at work, not getting adequate sleep for months, and had increased his smoking and caffeine intake to compensate and self medicate. It was the worst break wa have seen him have. He is 42. His symptoms began just like yours and at the same age. He also attempted suicide at 23 and was hospitalized. He has never received the correct diagnosis and after watching and listening to you, I know now what it is. I believed he had schizophrenia as soon as I saw what medication they put him on in that first hospital visit and looked up what it was used for. They put him on several meds with no results until they put him on Abilify. It was brand new then and it was a miracle for him. He had stopped talking entirely, was completely stoic, no crying, no laughing. He has been medication compliant since that time in 2005. He is 42 years old. Married. No children. A beloved child of ours and also beloved brother to 7 siblings and uncle to many nieces and nephews that he is so fond of. He too had a happy and rather carefree childhood. Other than temper tantrums as an infant and toddler, we never saw anything to indicate something was wrong. Thank you so much for sharing your life with me. It has helped enormously.
Please try gratitude. I've read one Jewish book about gratitude: people wrote about how they didn't have something, wanted it so much, and they started practicing gratitude for about half an hour/hour each day. And they got what they wanted! Heavens are very generous. Remember this please: 'Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.'
@RestfulRoom why do religious people always come in and throw this as an antidote or fix for complex brain issues
...one could question why did God even give people mental illness ?
As well I have personally seen how religions destroy people with mental illness ...I think you should just listen and respect this dear woman's testimony .I pray religion is taxed to the stomeage where it belongs.
Ha n g in there. My son has this same illness. His episodes used to be so scary. If you ever need advice please reach out. I'd love to give you support. Schizophrenia is so cruel. We need each other support.
Its an illness just like any physical disease. It should be looked at it that way.
Say it out loud THIS IS NOT MY FAULT. Your self awareness is your strength. There is bravery in asking for help. 🖤
Love this comment 💜💜🙌🏻
I don’t have schizophrenia, but I struggle with my own cocktail of mental illnesses. I understand and share the feeling of embarrassment when I am deep in my disorders, but just know that NONE of us are judging you with anything other than amazement, awe and admiration. You are self aware and able to share with SO many and help others in ways you (and I!) can’t imagine.
Love and protection to you 💜🧿💜
Yep. Very true.
She is very self aware, and so are you. It's not easy to admit sometimes we're not ok. Some are afraid of being judged. I don't worry about what others think. When my brain feels like scrambled eggs, I'm open about it. I won't hide how I'm feeling. If people are uncomfortable, that's ok. I don't expect everyone to jump on the, Carol, bandwagon. But I won't pretend to be someone I'm not.
🙏❤️🙏
She has great courage to open up like this
@@Carol-vp3hc Encounter Ministries CZcams channel. Mark Hemans==
It makes me mad that people have to deal with this. I had psychosis just once and it was the worst experience. Praying for your healing ❤
I’m glad you healed!!What kind of psychocic did you have? How long did it last.
My roommate is currently in caffeine and nicotine induced psychosis 😢 I did know this kind even existed.
My mom was recently diagnosed with an autoimmune encephalitis, which was a very long month of psychosis. It was hell just to observe. I can't imagine a lifetime of psychotic episodes.
You are so strong. I suffer with mental health issues. You speak for all of us. It is beyond scary to struggle with one s own mind.
You're okay. :) I was diagnosed with schizophrenia about 24 years ago. I'm 43. I made it this far. I hope you find things to be happy about. Have a great day.
To be fair, you’re channel is called Living WELL with Schizophrenia. You’re very brave and my heart goes out to you.
I am. You are (You're) He is. She is.
My book. Your book. His book. Her book.
It doesnt say "living well without schizophrenia".
Handling it, IS living well.
I see so much strength and courage in your vulnerability. My older sister battled for years with schizophrenia before taking her life in 2017. She was 38 years old. I miss her warrior spirit, creativity, poise, kindness and her ability to endure more adversity than most people could even fathom. I admire you and your spirit. I hope you can weather this psychosis episode. I have been there too and know how scary and confusing it can be. Love and be gentle with yourself always because you are a beautiful person
I am so, so very sorry for your loss. I am bipolar, and it is suspected now that my little sister was too. She jumped in front of a train April 2 of 2020 at the age of 37.
Both yours and my sisters must have suffered immensely. Hugs & love from Sweden. ❤
@@NickanM thank you for your kind words. I am so very sorry you lost your sister as well. Our loved ones suffered immensely in life but at least for me, I believe my beautiful sister is at peace free from torment and illness. I hope you find ways to heal and always remember and feel the bond you shared with your sister. May our loved ones continue to find peace wherever they now reside.
thank you for sharing and being so candid. You are educating so many ppl about this illness and bringing light to a topic people dont really talk about enough
We are here rooting for you Lauren!!!
My best friend has Schizoaffective disorder and he really struggles with it. I've known him for 17 years, even before the onset of his mental illness. I've experienced psychosis myself a couple times, too, because I have very severe anxiety, paranoia, and agoraphobia. I really appreciate what you're doing. It makes me feel less alone, and I'm going to share your video with him, too. Reducing the stigma against seeking mental health treatment or even talking about it is very important and I have so much respect for you for helping with that. Thank you, and I hope you get well very soon!
Wow you are such a good and loyal friend
I deal with severe anxiety too! But know someone with this illness. Should be seen like any other disease
Your eyes are very telling😢. I commend you for sharing with us and being so transparent! Prayers for you and anyone else struggling with MH issues❤🙏🏽
I have worked in the mental health field for decades as a psychiatric RN. I want to let you know how courageous you are and how much I have respect for you for your authenticity and vulnerability. Believe me, you are not alone! Thank you for this video. It is enormously helpful to so many and helps destigmatize and normalize mental health challenges that many go through which lay on a spectrum. You are crystal clear and very articulate in describing your current state when you made this video. Thank you so much again.❤
I had a psychotic break 12 years ago and it was brutal. Hallucinations, nonstop auditory hallucinations, paranoia, the feeling of constantly being watched (even in the bathroom), thinking people are following you, thinking your family is in on it.
It is terrifying. I was in a psych ward for ten days until they finally got me stable. The point is, in those moments of psychosis I thought it would never end. I felt hopeless. But it is beatable. Find medication which is right for you(sometimes you to try different meds), and stay hopeful.
Also, and I know there are people who think it’s corny, but pray. Talk to God.
It may seem crazy but I felt there was a spiritual aspect to what was happening to me. As if I opened a door in the mind that was meant to stay shut. This was caused by a combination of trauma from the loss of my Mother and drug abuse. I could be completely wrong but I believe there was deep spiritual damage that left me vulnerable to chaos.
I know people put all of their hopes in pharmaceuticals but faith in something bigger can help.
Thank you for all of the work that you do....good psychiatric RN's who are empathetic and truly care are a real gem!
I have such respect for how vulnerable you allow yourself to be. Thank you for sharing your struggles here. My brother was diagnosed with Schizophrenia very young,16 years. Your insights have helped me understand his struggles as well. Unfortunately, he has severe paranoid schizophrenia and cannot work or communicate thoughts clearly.
how do you even do it? the nurses were the only saving grace of my experience there, and even then it was only a few of them, one or two. when id call the doctors/psychiatrists evil it was clear the nurses agreed and never had qualms about me doing so, in fact most seemed to enjoy somebody was finally telling them to their face.
@@jjones9822 Most deffinitely agree about the spiritual aspect of it. Prayer helped me a lot, and now as long as I stay off drugs, illegal and legal, and hold onto God ❤ I never ever have these attacks anymore 🙌🏼
As a Clinical Mental Health Counselor, I applaud you for making a video during such a vulnerable time. You are doing such an important, and validating thing for so many people. Decreasing stigma is achieved partially through videos like this. Thank you, and sending you light and love
Trying to get others who are not effected to understand this is a large task! No one would ever ask for this to happen and the stigma needs to go away! We need to help our mentally I'll! We need to do better
Agreed
@@missybrewer423 one way to help "our mentally ill" is by not referring to them as "our mentally ill" which is dehumanizing and patronizing. PEOPLE with mental illnesses is the term to use.
You are amazing! To put yourself out there with such vulnerability in hopes of helping others... You are amazing and you expressed yourself just fine! ❤
Your bravery and vulnerability are amazing and please know you are helping me. Thank you. I am deeply grateful.
You do sound like you're doing everything right under the circumstances. You've told the people who can help you most. You're following a plan that's been guided with you by those who care and who can help. You have a backup plan if things don't improve within 24 hours. If you decide to be hospitalized, it will be temporary, only to stabilize you but nobody seemed to say that's where you should go just yet so it sounds like there's a sensible, respectful, responsible plan in place. You'll be ok. This is temporary. My mother was always terrified of hospitalizations. My brother too. I understand. I'm with you. If you're up for it, keep us updated please. xo
I just don’t go. I made a deal with myself that no matter how bad it got that I wouldn’t go. I haven’t been in a psych ward since 1990 and I just suck up the crap and let the shit fall. But that took a lot of therapy and years of experience of dealing with distancing myself from what is expected of me from the uncaring and schadenfreude (translated roughly as ignorant punitive hate-loving peasant culture). Also the years of taking vitamins and working with diet has given me a good metabolic baseline.
@@jacquelineleitch7050 I totally hear you. "Distancing myself from what is expected of me" has been a key healing strategy for me as well. Psych wards fill me with rage.
@@80islandia for me terror of the insanity of having barely qualified people working on psych wards and showing off their power and status, the lower regions of psychiatry that get hired by psych wards ( the 50 percentile work psych wards while the top of the classes work are self employed and charge a fortune from complacent individuals suffering minor neurosis or depression.) and then the long term weird of the long term inmates of the ward and everyone is on drugs. Total bs and completely scary.
what a lovely comment @madelinebrennan❤
11:37 HI Lauren, I have experienced your place, unpleasant as it is. To share experience with you, may possibly open doors. I have seven children, we were together for 20 yrs., we are taught by professionals very much to go introspective in problem solving, which really does predominately work. The missing answer I found is actually sometimes in your activities beyond your control, in otherwords situational ?
In our Family life (mine) I was the breadwinner and pillar, now I tried tremendously to understand and support my wife in her struggles as a Mom, in discussions with her, I would say you are stepping up to the hardest challenge in the world, Mothering. My wife would then say well it's actually easier with 6 or seven, but that she would never forget the deep challenges of the first 3 and that that was by far the hardest of the raising of the seven.
The point for your possible consideration is that possibly the challenges of the 3, the you tube channel, etc may be the actual emotions and thoughts you are feeling ? Only thoughts for your consideration only. If it is situational you may find proactive approach to the problem will bring out of your stressful situation ? Someone with 4 or 5 children experience for ideas, or time management possibly in the channel, possibly a nice dinner with you and Rob ? A 50 yr experience with schizoaffective disorder leaves a certain amount of my door to situational circumstances. Possibly a Father of seven in support of his wife and a multimillion dollar custom cabinet business may be worthwhile to entertain some thought with. You accept a great amount of responsibility, but that does not mean you are the failing one, there are many a people with 3,4,5 kids willing to share experiences, as well as with the stresses of a channel. Only wishing the best for you and Rob and munchkins. Take care Lauren.😅
My heart goes out to you right now Lauren 😢❤
You are not failing! Just your vulnerability right now means you're NOT failing!!!
YES ! Aptly put. Thank you !
@@maryannschlear5161 Encounter Ministries CZcams channel. Mark Hemans==
Love your videos, thank you so much for allowing us to see this side of you. No need to feel ashamed or embarrassed, being vulnerable and honest shows immense strength on your part. I know you’re fully capable of recovering from this experience and growing from it. I’m a new mental health counselor, just finished my masters. I really admire your commitment to spreading awareness of mental illness. I’m here for you
You are so brave for sharing this vulnerable state you are in. You are strong and not weak, please know that
My husband passed almost a year ago & I didn’t know that he was schizophrenic. I think it was super important to him to appear “normal” to the point that he refused to seek help, refused to admit that there was a problem, and ultimately he drank and starved himself to death. So I just have to mention how I can’t say enough about how much of a good thing this is that you’re open to sharing your struggles, you’re reaching out for help, and are honest about your symptoms. I’ll keep you in my prayers 🌸
I'm so terribly sorry your husband succumbed to this illness. I'll keep You and your family in my prayers.
@@Weld24_CosmicKat thank you
🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿
I understand his point of you. I am so sorry for your loss. But I would love to be able to starve myself to death a lot of times. I fight so hard to keep from killing myself because then I know my family would not get my life insurance.
@@shalacarter5798 please know that you are loved and valued. While this is not a popular thing to say in this day and time - Jesus sees you. He loves you. And He understands that you’re struggling. I may not know or understand what you’re struggling with because I’ve never experienced that, but you’re every bit as precious to Him. I will keep you in my prayers
Oh, you poor sweet girl. I’m so sorry that you deal with this horrible illness. My son does also. It breaks my heart for everyone who suffers with this. You are so brave. I love your channel. Hugs to you!
I just encountered your page for the first time with this video, and I find it so powerful, generous, brave and inspiring. Thank you for doing this. It is very helpful. ❤
You are awesome! You are so brave, sharing your life with us. I have so much respect for you.
Thank you. ❤
Lauren, I hope the process of making this video has helped you organize your thoughts and planning. Best wishes and much love to you.
Hi Lauren, to touch on your comment:
“I think it [this video] was probably not a great articulation of what I’m experiencing”…” I think this is a valuable video. I sympathize with the extreme vulnerability, sense of shame, feeling completely lost and defeated.
It’s very reminiscent of the darkest days of my mental health issues when I was really going “through it”, to put it lightly. It’s a painful but important reminder to the general public that mental health problems exist and must be managed like any sort of illness and trying to censor it helps nobody, especially the sufferers.
We’re all cheering for you, lurkers and commenters alike. I really commend you for uploading this video but I also completely understand and support you if you feel like it’s too painful to leave up. Be well.
You're a very intelligence, well-spoken and BRAVE person. Thank you for sharing and for showing that people who struggle with mental illness, as we do, are strong and still FIGHTING, no matter how the world might try to portray us. Best wishes for you, in both strength and through struggles alike! Keep up the GOOD FIGHT! You've got this!
Wow thanks a lot for your openness, honesty and vulnerability. That's not failure but braveness in the midst of a raising storm. Chapeau!
No words, just sending moral support and appreciation for your vulnerability and bravery in sharing.
Thank you for your vulnerability, Lauren. You are loved and supported by so many.
You are amazing as you are , it’s not easy to feel it all the time but my grandmother also is diagnosed with schizophrenia and it’s hard to watch people go through what you guys do , thank you so much for opening up and sharing . I am interested in how we can help this condition because from my research indigenous people had ways that helped and it’s weird that hundreds of years later modern humanity is still scientifically puzzled by schizophrenia.
Thank you & May you feel loved and supported as much as you possible❤️
I’m sending you a hug. Sorry that you had to go through this but thank you for sharing about it. It takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable and to open up like this. Thank you so much again💜
Nothing to be embarrassed about. By sharing you are just making people become aware and educated about this condition. Also don't feel that you have to share, only share what you feel comfortable with and ignore any criticism. You don't owe anything to anyone. ❤❤❤
Please don't feel like this is a failure. It is not. Your illness is outside your control, just like cancer or any other physical disease is. What you can control is your reaction to it, and how you manage to have this level of bravery to be vulnerable and have an incredible sense of self-awareness is proof of just how strong you are. It shows have far you've grown throughout the years.
We're rooting for you, you got this. Things will get better, just be patient with yourself and treat yourself with the kindness you deserve.
Thank you for being so respectful and supportive. I felt dignified while reading your words and they were not even for me, but you are right. I struggle with different things, and I'll keep your words in mind. Thank you.
@@francescafrancesca3554 Hey, you’re absolutely welcome! I’m struggling too and these words are meant for anyone who’s just trying their best. This is your sign that you will be okay. So, I’m rooting for you too kind human! ❤️
Thank you for sharing! It helps people understand what people are going through! You're strong!!
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. We are all here to support you. My fiancé is currently being hospitalized for schizoaffective disorder. His medication regimen is very off and he was once at a good place with his meds, but certain delusions turned him away. It’s very difficult because this last month he’s been hospitalized twice and because of you I am able to get through this and educate myself and him. I appreciate you !!
Good luck. You got this
I hate to hear that about your fiancé but I'm glad this channel helps you as it does me as the one with the illnesses. I do hope he gets better soon and they figure out meds that will work so the suffering and worry can end x
My boyfriend too.... solar flares can affect people. don't tell them if they are going to obsess over it. watch out for it tho and see
Thank you for your courage. You help so many by showing your vulnerabilities. It’s helping me and I am so grateful.
It is not in any way weakness. To face a camera and put this out for the whole world to see is the most amazing show of strength I've ever seen.
Bipolar and just now stabilizing after a 4 month psychotic break. Hearing you talk about feeling like a failure, or guilty, or it happened bc you did something wrong, gave me a feeling of understanding I've not been able to share with others. Thank you so much for sharing your story. We are not alone. ❤
Ive felt the same way after my psychosis with bipolar 1.
Bipolar have psychotic mania ( hallucinations are everyday from 8 years by clomipramine ), manic psychosis and psychosis in mania ...
Oh my gosh.. a 4-month psychosis..? 🥺😢 How horrible.
@@kaylaschroeder1 my psych took me off my meds. It took all that time to stabilize me. I don't know that I'd survive another bout like that. It's like I don't remember anything, but I sure can still feel the agony. But stable as a 4-legged table for now. Actively seeking a new shrink, but it's impossible to be seen STAT, at least in Florida. There are also no mental health rehabs in a 125 mile area from my house that take medicaid. God, it was a disaster. But you reminded me that it's over now, and with a much different and MUCH happier ending than I would've predicted.
Thank you so much for opening up and being vulnerable and sharing. It’s extremely brave of you and I appreciate the opportunity to sit with you. You’re very articulate and a beautiful soul. All the best.
I’m in awe of you, what an incredibly courageous person you are. You will be helping not only people who have to deal with mental issues but anyone who has to deal with any issue that seems overwhelming.
You’ll get through this !!❤
We love your videos thanks for showing what it’s like living with your condition. We have DID ourselves and we understand living with a disorder is very difficult. You are amazing and we appreciate you ❤
Lauren, I know how incredibly difficult these times are for you. I can't tell you how much I respect your transparency and willingness to show all parts of your journey. The work you're doing benefits so many others, but I can't help but think that it benefits you somehow as well - even these truly challenging posts. I share the ups and the downs with my clients to normalize what they're feeling and experiencing. Thank you again and again for taking the time to give this part of yourself. ♥
You are so strong 💪🏾 I am thankful for your videos. They help me understand my younger sister so much more and it’s helping our relationship ❤ thank you for your transparency and vulnerable
I have words. Compassion. Familiarity. Concerned. Grateful. Empathetic. Angry. Forgiving. Confused. Saddened. Clinging to that shred of hope for this woman, myself, and all those impacted by our special minds.
@@lespritdelescalier4858 Are you telling a people with schizophrenia, during their terrifying descent into psychosis, that they should eat better? Let me know if I missed something. Because to me, that’s either incredibly daft, or cruel.
@L’esprit de l’escalier are you fr right now?? This was an INCREDIBLY shortsighted and ignorant thing to say... I mean I'm actually pretty lost for words
@L’esprit de l’escalier I understand your comment about inflammation and the gut Brain. It is an important component to helping with keeping Well and managing a mental illness along with medications, therapy etc ...all those things.and it's all individual...what works for some people doesn't for others.
@@alicia_naraiah How funny that you people complain about advice such as this but don’t bat an eyelid at the suggestion (or rather, doctors order) of taking medication. I WISH I had known about the connection btwn nutrition and mental/brain health many years ago. Ofc it’s not a magic bullet and you need a holistic approach but it can be very helpful for sure. And no psychiatrist ever really addresses this. So there is nothing wrong with pointing it out as most people are rather unaware of the effect that nutrition can have.
I started working as an assistant at a psychiatric ward in 2001, and i love the fact that we are having a conversation around mental health in this way. I think it is way overdue and i support anyone along their path out of despair, by whatever means they find necessary.
❤
Im assuming you had to inject some patients against their will?
Thank you for your videos my son is schizophrenic and im trying understand the illness im so proud of you for educating us and for your videos god bless you and your family
Omg Lauren thanks so much for this video! I’ve literally never commented on a CZcams video before but I’ve been following your channel for years so I figured I’d put myself out there and just say thank you so, so much for picking up the video camera on a tough day. I also live with schizoaffective disorder and while I’m fairly open about my diagnosis when I’m thriving, I know how hard it is to share with others when you’re struggling. I have experienced negative reactions from people who’ve observed me while symptomatic who were ostensibly on board when I was doing well. You brought so much humanity to psychosis in this video, and I relate to all that you’ve beautifully articulated here. You continue to inspire me to love myself and advocate for people like us who are so misunderstood and villainized. You particularly gave me so much hope at my onset: When I found your channel early on in my recovery, seeing your relationship with Rob was the first time I believed that maybe I could be in a loving relationship post-schizoaffective too. Stay strong! You’re a beautiful person doing brave, necessary work. I look forward to following your journey as you continue throughout the ups and downs of life with schizoaffective ❤
💖
You will get well soon, YOU GOT THIS!❤❤❤
Sending positive thoughts your way. Take care, Lauren.
❤️
💜💔💜
Thank you for your support!
You articulate amazingly well and I admire your bravery. I have the same diagnosis and I have learned a lot from your videos. Hang in there, the solution/s will come.
Thank you for sharing. You’re so articulate and wise. You’ve taken something that has such a stigma tied to it and have made it endurable, realistic and helpful for those who feel lost.
I struggle with PTSD and likely other undiagnosed mental illnesses…it is a day to day process and requires constant self awareness. Thank you so much, I am so happy to have stumbled upon your channel.
My mental health is so bad too, I’m not sure what to do 😢 I wish mental illness would leave us alone forever 😔
😂 Imagine being trapped by something that Doesn't exist😅😅 Go to middle east country and such stuff Doesn't exist
As somebody working in the healthcare field, your videos are incredibly helpful. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability. In doing so, you are not only helping others who face similar struggles, but also the ones who hope to offer you support (friends, family, doctors, etc.). It is so very apparent how much true work you have put into your wellness. To have this degree of insight while actively struggling with acute psychosis is nothing short of incredible. I know words coming from a stranger on the internet probably don't mean much, but in your vulnerability and struggles, I see so much of your inner strength. Sending love and well wishes as you navigate this challenging time. Given all you have overcome in the past and the support system you have built up around yourself, I feel confident in your ability to overcome this current episode as well. You've got this!
💯 Couldn't have said that better! 💯
Traci w/ an 👁️ and
Carly O’Donnell
Thank you both for your beautiful comments.
💐🌷💐🌸💐🌷💐
These comments are a reflection that the beautiful hearts of humans are not as rare as they may seem. Thank you a million times over.
🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🤍🩷🩶❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🤍
@@traciG Encounter Ministries CZcams channel. Mark Hemans÷÷
@@ronniebattle1310 thanks ill check it out 😇
Found your chanel today. Wow. You are doing so well in explaining the unexplainable while beeing in this different headspace. Huge respect for your self- reflection, your courage and your ability to share your difficult moments.
I can totally relate.
I'm not psychotic myself but I've experienced psychotic-like states on psychedelics and can emathically feel into it.
Your videos will help a lot of people to be understood and to understand. Huge thanks and a lot of love! ❤❤❤
Your gift of sharing takes a tremendous amount of courage, you are so brave, I humbly thank-you!
I'm so sorry you are going through this painful time. You spoke so eloquently. Thank you for sharing. And don't ever be ashamed. I'm amazed at how brave you are.
I can’t even imagine how terrifying it must be to not be able to discern reality from delusion. ♥️
Nobody can we are all delusional, just some delusions lead to prosperity and purpose. Other delusions lead you off the edge and into the abyss. Reality was shaped by our ancestors and their teachings.
its kind of fun actually, ive had over 30+ hallucinations. and they're all unique experiences because regularly i wouldnt be able to reach those states of mind!
I'm not dxed with anything more than Multiple Sclerosis, yet my grip on reality has been shaky for the last 50 years. Our feelings about it depend entirely on the people around us, or on the lack of anyone supporting us.
The complete lack of professional support by ALL of the governments, while this problem escalates exponentially is SO WORRYING! The future looks very bleak for all of us because of this! If we can't provide help for those in the most need, we will all pay for it!
But reality is a delusion 🤪 its all just stories we tell ourselves to get through the day.
@@fightthechaos781 way to minimize her experience.
You sharing those things about yourself, when it feels like failure or a weakness and not wanting to make others feel that same feeling so you consider censoring yourself, is what EVERYONE HERE NEEDED TO HERE! Because they have either felt that way too and it makes them feel NOT so alone in that, or they are possibly family to someone that feels these things and it gives a small glimpse into what it’s like or what is thought about so that understanding can be grasped and compassion and love be given in a time when it’s needed more than anything. ❤ thank you thank you from the WHOLE WORLD!!Whether they get it or see the need for the gratitude towards this or not, we are grateful for what you give that we wouldn’t have otherwise ESP when we couldn’t even grasp the depths of this were it not for you. We needed it and didn’t even know that BUT BC OF YOU., we do! thank you! ❤
Thank you. Thank you for this. So much. I have other diagnoses, but I can completely identify with not being able to wrap my head around not being able to trust my own mind. It’s rly validating to see and hear you in this video. I’m new to your channel. A dear friend recommended you and I wish I could shake your hand. Thank you for this and for your channel.
I just want to re-affirm that you aren't weak and that this isn't a personal failing. Sometimes shit happens even when you've done everything right. Sending you hugs!
Mental health episodes are a very personal thing, so I completely respect that you didn't want to share it! Do what feels ok with you. Still, thank you for sharing this, it does teach us a lot and shows what the reality of it looks like.
Thank you for sharing in this specific experience of your life. You have taught me so much to help me with my 26 y.o. son. He also enjoys watching, especially your interviews with others with schizoaffective disorders. Please continue to share in vulnerability and honesty. We need your insights! I'm donating today!
Thank you so much for sharing your personal struggles. You are so brave to put yourself out there and show your vulnerability. I too struggle with some mental health issues so I can empathize with your struggles. Take care and remember you are not alone😊
I feel your pain man. As a high functioning case I can relate. You're not alone. There are some who know pain, and trauma, hell, everyone knows "hurt." few know what suffering is, or can be. It means, for life. Constantly having to endure a thing that never goes away. And most serious mental illnesses are progressive as I was informed by the medical director of the hospital when I lost my shit completely and spent a fortnight among a restless and troubled group of brave individuals.
Lauren, you are such a gift to the world. I'm sorry you are suffering. Thank you for sharing your life with us.
Thank you for sharing ❤sending lots of support, love and light ! You got this girl! I feel you find the right cocktail sweetie . Try NOT to go into a hospital. I’m praying for you ❤❤❤🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻you are NOT weak!!! You’re strong and it’s NOT your fault!! You’re doing everything right ! By continuing finding the right cocktail ! ❤❤❤❤
Thank you. I hope that I am watching and you are recovering, received the care. Your work here is so very important, and the honesty is something i know families who have stigma really need.
This too shall pass…please hang in there Lauren, this has nothing to do with being weak. You have contributed immensely.
8:43 I believe very strongly that this isn’t a personal failure. You’re an amazing mental athlete.
I agree so much with this
Young lady you are a very strong person,,,just keep being strong every day. I know its not easy, since i have been desling with my mental illness for the past 20 years.
I had my worst breakdown ever recently. It lasted for 18 months. I got thru it with alot of prayer to God, meditation, and support from my sister.
I feel very sad that you have to go thru such a severe illness,,it tugs at my heart strings.
I just did a prayer for you to ask God to heal you as soon as possible.
I went thru alot of agony, anguish, and suffering this past 18 months, but now I'm well again. Just know that God can give you miraculous healings, so you can get to a place of normalcy again.
Dont let the illness overpower you.
Just stay strong and stay on your meds, and keep in close contact with your medical team.
Its totally possible to prevail, and begin to get better. I wish abundant health and oneness to you. All the best.
Thanks for sharing. My son had schizophrenia for 16 years before he passed. It took him passing for me to look at these videos to better understand what this illness entails. He died of a drug overdose and I spent the last 16 years angry with him. I thought tough love would get him to seek help.
The regret I feel weighs heavily. This is a serious mental illness, I think one of the worst. Please be gentle with the afflicted
He was making amazing strides this past year and our relationship was on the mend. Then he overdosed. Now he’s gone. I always thought I had time with him. I did not
You shouldn’t have done tough love. That never works. My parents did that to me, and it only made me worse. You definitely contributed to making him worse.
@@christaw409woah wtf kinda thing is that to say. You aren't them. Him or her or whoever... ridiculous...just bc it did this or that to you doesn't mean that's their case. Shits rough. I'm schizoaffective w 5 kids. I regret shit almost daily .. should've would've could've.. not your place to say nor judge. They already said they regret things. That's plenty enough. You point a finger at someone, there are 3 pointing back. I feel embarrassed for you for saying that.
I’m sorry you lost your son. Please take care of yourself. 🤍
@@christaw409 being kind to my son meant him taking advantage of it. Tough love was what the addiction specialists recommended. I’ll listen to them over you.
My regret is based on the anger I had towards him all these years because I did not understand addiction. But I’ve come to realize that we all have free will and nothing I could do would stop him from using.
Death stopped him.
If you’re a schizophrenic using street drugs. Please stop. Your family loves you. They hate the drug use.
First, i AM SO, SO, SO, VERY SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS. I know there are no words I could ever say that could even scratch the surface of what you have experienced. Me and my son both have struggled with multiple debilitating and life-changing mental illnesses. My son with major ones with suicidal tendencies. I have fought years of wars and lived so many years in the worst possible never-ending fear daily for his life. Life-flighted with a head injury from a bad reck at three he would physically recover 100% but had small sporadic damage throughout his brain which was just the right amount to cause many clinical diagnoses. a million meds many suicide attempts, overdoes, suffering from learning disabilities every day a crazy scary existence, There was attempted hanging, always stitching him up, overdoses, narcam kept in abundance, there were brain bleeds, stabbings, craziness, drugs, jails, he was even shot in the street during covid... another life flight and 3 surgeries to piece his spleen and guts back to save sav him and I couldn't go be with cause of covid, but he survived it all. Oh, praise God. It was as if I held my breath for 24 years and only in the past year and a half have, I dared relax and breathe now and again. He is 19 months clean and holding down a good job. This first time he stayed clean longer than two weeks out of jail. No one knows the effect, pain, struggle fight PTSD, hurt, anguish. effort A parent lives through daily with a mentally challenged child, especially when they are a danger to themselves or others, I have 4 children and he was harder than all three others combined times 10 The love, heartache, and challenges, there is no way to imagine unless you have had to live it have more regrets than I could ever list. But it is a war, a battle. today my son is alive so I'm winning, the odds of that remaining, we who have lived it know are not good it could change at any time It's an ongoing battle, and unless you're in it you could never imagine.
I pray for all those who have lost their sons and Daughters, for all still fighting, for all who will come after, and for all who had to go ahead, I pray they have found peace. The only healing I have seen of any degree for Parents who have lost a child is if they can find some way to use the life lost to do some good, to help others to have a better chance to survive and live and win. It matters not how it is done, a charity, a foundation, lobbying for laws or political movement, or sharing experiences, strength, and hope, any way you can honor your child's life by using a tragedy to be a beacon of light to another will give purpose to his life even in death and bring whatever amount of healing that can be found to the ones who loved him here, and there forever more. God bless and keep you. The suffering is real, may we all learn how to help bear each other's burdens.
You mentioned feedback you receive. As a healthcare professional, my experience has been that the general public have limited to no real-life experience with people living with schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorders. Many opinions and beliefs are based on TV and movie depictions.... neither of which reflect authentically. You are doing a major service to everyone who takes the time to watch your videos. Thank you so much for putting your life out in the public eye.
This is sooo true. People think that if a person is not at the very height of their symptoms and in great turmoil, that they are faking it. But suffering in daily life can look more like a person is numb, add medications to that and you get a very different demeanor.
I agree. I have a mental health disorder that is portrayed only badly in media. I know nothing of your disorder. Its only on tv when it's very dramatic and portrayed as a frightening thing. I'm sorry it's like that.
That's also why it's so hard to see someone going through this. I have a person with schizophrenia in the family and no one knew what was happening to her for years
Hey thanks for sharing this. You’re an amazing person.
I agree. As a child of an Mother who suffered with this disorder, I appreciate your story. You’re brave. You’ve brought comfort to this daughter.
And you are not alone. I'm having symptoms only I experience every day, but I guess people see me as pretty functional. Yet no one fully understands the fight that is taking place in my head and heart. Wish you the best.
You are a gift for people living with schizophrenia and the people who love them. Thank you for sharing your journey, the good and bad. So grateful for your education and vulnerability. You are a beautiful soul 🦋
sending so much love ❤ you are changing the world for the better by posting videos like this.
It will be over soon 😢❤
You got this
Praying you through literally
When your actual reality is grounded with medication and it fails you... I don't want to imagine the betrayal you must have felt. Your ability to be able to, whilst in psychosis, center yourself and connect your brain back online is amazing. I have never witnessed this before with someone in a psychotic episode. The amount of power you have is astounding. Especially when you said that this episode is a different than what you have experienced before.
And how sad the Dr is failing her taking over a week to get her an appointment to help adjust the meds!
@@stacieboucher1570 Sad and scary truth here. Does he know how many subs she's got? Maybe a week wait is the case WITH leverage? Sick system.
Thank You for sharring this part of yourself with us. You have given through your storys more incite into my mothers mental state and helps me to beable to support her better than before ❤ Thank You
Thank you, Lauren, so much for talking about this very scary situation. You are certainly not a failure or weak! My god, girl. You are SO brave! I admire you, endlessly. Keep taking your meds, don't eat carbs and hang in there. Keep talking about it. Thank you again for your wonderful insight and your amazing courage.
Dear Lauren, sending you all the love and wishing you well from the Netherlands. I really appreciate all the work you do for the world. Your videos are relevant for me for several reasons. I recently met a friend who is diagnosed with schizofrenia. Through your videos I understand this condition better and I have more hope for his future. You are not a failure, you are not weak. You are a bright, smart and empathetic star in this world. Love Marieke
Jic hiCBC c 😮b icv😅
I am sorry for you. I have schizoaffektiv disorder and I recognise myself in you. You are strong and unbelievable healty and great at taking care of yourself💖 I know how you feel, but it is not your fault. Hugs.
Thank you for being so very open and courageous in posting and sharing your experiences. My adult Godson is on his 4th hospitalization in 8 months the system has failed him and I pray it never happens to you. Your honesty and bravery are an awesome inspiration. Thank you for an excellent articulation on what it’s like to experience life with your condition. You’re not a failure and though I empathize with feeling weaknesses myself with depression, anxiety and PTSD I sincerely thank and appreciate you! Please keep us posted on how you’re doing! Much love and blessings to you!