Coping with Schizophrenia: My Experience in the Psych Ward

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  • čas přidán 21. 06. 2023
  • I share what all happened and my thoughts and feelings about my recent hospitalization for a psychotic episode as a result of my schizoaffective disorder.
    Related videos:
    ‘I’m in psychosis right now’ - • I'm in psychosis right...
    ‘Hello from the psych ward’ - • Hello from the psych ward
    ‘A day in my life as a psych ward hospital patient | VLOG’ - • A Day in My Life as a ...
    'I'm out of the hospital' - • I'm out of the hospital
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Komentáře • 2,7K

  • @LivingWellwithSchizophrenia
    @LivingWellwithSchizophrenia  Před 10 měsíci +51

    JOIN OUR ONLINE PEER SUPPORT COMMUNITY
    Schizophrenia Peer Support Community: www.schizophreniapeersupport.com

    • @paulflint6254
      @paulflint6254 Před 10 měsíci +2

      joined ❤️

    • @NeonCicada
      @NeonCicada Před 10 měsíci +3

      Finding this online community has truly changed my life.

    • @YANDEX30V
      @YANDEX30V Před 9 měsíci

      What do you do for a living; what's your occupation.

    • @YANDEX30V
      @YANDEX30V Před 9 měsíci +1

      Were you diagnosed before you became a mother?

    • @YANDEX30V
      @YANDEX30V Před 9 měsíci

      So you drive under the influence. Thts irresponsible

  • @Readzboox
    @Readzboox Před 10 měsíci +1934

    My mom is schizophrenic and raised 7 kids on her own. Needless to say I visited her in psych wards way more times than I can count. My mother never sugar coated anything and always was brutally honest even with her youngest kids. I just want to let you know as a child raised by a beautiful single mom struggling with schizophrenia I can say I was never negatively effected by my mothers illness. It made me a more compassionate person

    • @martinasikk6162
      @martinasikk6162 Před 10 měsíci +56

      Thank you for your comment.

    • @dewilew2137
      @dewilew2137 Před 10 měsíci +73

      One for you ❤️ and one for your lovely gem of a mum ❤️

    • @Oaktreealley
      @Oaktreealley Před 10 měsíci +68

      It sounds like your mom was honest about her struggles and willing to get help when she needed it. That's really great and helpful.

    • @paulamccarthy8197
      @paulamccarthy8197 Před 10 měsíci +15

      Was all the children the same? Bless your mum

    • @Readzboox
      @Readzboox Před 10 měsíci +74

      @@paulamccarthy8197 It’s interesting because of the seven kids we all experienced our mothers illness differently. Like we went through the same thing but have very different takes on it. Only one of the seven of us has a negative outlook and does not speak with my mother any longer. My childhood was full of love and we were always encouraged to express ourselves creatively through art if different mediums.

  • @itditb
    @itditb Před 10 měsíci +2144

    To be honest, I don't like when people criticize her for showing "only the good side". Aren't we all sick of hearing stories about how once you are diagnosed with schizophrenia, you are only getting worse from there? She and other influencers with schizophrenia are beyond important because they give hope to everyone that they can live with their illness, not only to people with schiziphrenia.

    • @sweetluvgurl
      @sweetluvgurl Před 10 měsíci +88

      I think both sides are important, personally. It’s good to give hope but also important to be realistic, and authentic, as well.

    • @debw5203
      @debw5203 Před 10 měsíci +42

      I agree with you. Watching Lauren's videos has been very educational and eye opening for me.

    • @gigahorse1475
      @gigahorse1475 Před 10 měsíci +60

      I agree. I think all stories need to be told but I think we don’t all need constant devastation and despair, like our lives are nothing more than illness. I’m trying to get out of that mentality.

    • @mariahconklin4150
      @mariahconklin4150 Před 10 měsíci +9

      I get worried I have it sometimes because I've experienced some of the things she has experienced but I never hear voices I have Auditory Processing Disorder and I'll do strange things. But now I'm being diagnosed with possibly Bipolar 1? It's so strange what next Sciophective disorder? It's just strange.

    • @judithstrenio9552
      @judithstrenio9552 Před 10 měsíci +20

      ⁠@@mariahconklin4150 mental health is not well understood, even by doctors. Don’t give up on trying to get help to manage life more easily.

  • @KaleighKahakui
    @KaleighKahakui Před 10 měsíci +611

    I’m an ER nurse. Thank you for sharing your story so I can better understand my patients.

  • @michellem1862
    @michellem1862 Před 10 měsíci +305

    My daughter has Schizoeffective Disorder and I have tried to gather as much information as I could to try to understand what she is going through. Your channel is so helpful to me. I use the information you give me to recognize the symptoms and keep her safe. You are saving peoples lives. How brave of you to share your story. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

    • @LAF1967
      @LAF1967 Před 4 měsíci +5

      So glad you have this. 20 years ago my mom and I had no help with my brother. No info barley any info

    • @KB-iz1yw
      @KB-iz1yw Před 3 měsíci +1

      Schizophrenia and Schizoaffective are different! Schizoaffective is like Schizophrenia + Bipolar lol

    • @MR.AIRWALK
      @MR.AIRWALK Před 3 měsíci +1

      My daughter has it as well, I’m living the same experience 💕

    • @abdulhye5052
      @abdulhye5052 Před 3 měsíci +1

      What is schzo's obsessive disorder?

  • @loganplonski922
    @loganplonski922 Před 10 měsíci +1067

    Being hospitalized isn't a personal failure on your part. Sometimes you just need extra help and that's okay.

    • @shellyann8818
      @shellyann8818 Před 10 měsíci +14

      ❤❤

    • @liliankimani9524
      @liliankimani9524 Před 10 měsíci +13

      I am so sorry about what you went through. You are very useful to many. I love and respect you. I hope you don't feel too bad that you were hospitalized.

    • @sweetluvgurl
      @sweetluvgurl Před 10 měsíci +9

      I know that I personally felt like a failure, too, when I ended up at a psych ward. I think those moments are some of the lowest in a person’s life. And the fact that the system is such a mess in that area, too, is what bothers me. I refuse to ever go back, no matter what, because they messed up my physical health medications, and they just messed up in different areas in general, and it was too complex with my situation with my rare condition, Escobar Syndrome, that I was born with and my physical disability. The psych ward isn’t for everyone and sometimes leaves people actually worse off. I couldn’t be paid to endure any of that ever again. No thanks. If it helps some, then that’s great, but it can be awful for others.

    • @calliea9064
      @calliea9064 Před 10 měsíci +5

      It’s a huge success that you agreed to go to the hospital

    • @shannonwelsh5830
      @shannonwelsh5830 Před 10 měsíci

      ❤❤❤

  • @anonnymousperson
    @anonnymousperson Před 10 měsíci +675

    Shout out to Rob. Thank you for your kindness and empathy to your partner.

    • @amyblack1052
      @amyblack1052 Před 10 měsíci +9

      Again
      .....u are blessed with a partner whom supports u

    • @hopegold883
      @hopegold883 Před 10 měsíci +12

      For sure. Although at the same time, if someone had said, “I’m not taking the keys, I’m trusting you,” I would have grabbed them and driven away faster than you can count to 1.

    • @hopegold883
      @hopegold883 Před 10 měsíci +2

      Not to criticize him. Not his fault he thinks differently.

    • @moseseba2117
      @moseseba2117 Před 10 měsíci +15

      i need me a rob..

    • @irishgirl1753
      @irishgirl1753 Před 10 měsíci +5

      @@moseseba2117me too ❤️

  • @operationpower4245
    @operationpower4245 Před 10 měsíci +250

    I have a mother with schizophrenia who also experienced a lot of paranoia surrounding me and my sister. It ended up leading to a lot of abuse over the years and, because of this, I remember feeling almost angry when I watched your pregnancy announcement. This video made me feel very differently, though. I'm so proud of you for going to the hospital when you did. I can tell that you're willing to do whatever it takes to keep your kids safe and it sounds like you're a wonderful mother to them.

    • @ZijnShayatanica
      @ZijnShayatanica Před 10 měsíci +38

      As someone who also experienced abuse as a result of my mother's untreated Bipolar/psychosis & drug abuse... I definitely feel you. I really wish I had a parent more like Lauren, who has an understanding of & willingness to treat her illness - in addition to a strong desire to protect her children from the worst of it. I'm very proud of her, too, & I'm grateful that Rob is a supportive partner & stable father for the kids.

    • @ccs9769
      @ccs9769 Před 8 měsíci +5

      good choices,agreed

    • @december125690
      @december125690 Před 2 dny

      I have same experience with my mother. In addition my dad is bipolar. My childhood and youth was full of abuse

  • @brittanywilcox7377
    @brittanywilcox7377 Před 10 měsíci +510

    You got through a global pandemic without being hospitalized. That's impressive.

    • @kimberlymiller655
      @kimberlymiller655 Před 10 měsíci +12

      Great point about that.

    • @brittanywilcox7377
      @brittanywilcox7377 Před 10 měsíci +28

      @@michelledarby6729 imagine writing something so stupid on a public forum

    • @brittanywilcox7377
      @brittanywilcox7377 Před 10 měsíci +4

      @@michelledarby6729 I can tell

    • @Hiforest
      @Hiforest Před 10 měsíci +5

      ​@@michelledarby6729read the room, Michelle!

    • @dhhayden
      @dhhayden Před 9 měsíci +6

      @@michelledarby6729 You’re not her psychiatrist. Quit using your google degree to diagnose strangers you’ve never met. It’s embarrassing 🙄

  • @Lady_Katie
    @Lady_Katie Před 10 měsíci +236

    I’m a mom with rapid cycling bipolar. I want to share something my husband told me after my worst psychotic suicidal episode. When I would have these episodes I would feel so guilty and tell my husband to divorce me so he and my 2 year old son wouldn’t have to be around me. He responded with, “I knew what I signed up for when I married you, and I would do it again. And you are the best mom for our son. He will learn about mental illness from you. He doesn’t need a perfect mom. He needs a real mom. We both love you and never want to be without you.” It was the catalyst for me to go on more powerful meds and ultimately saved my life. Never give up. You have not failed. I have also been hospitalized and made involuntary. Please be gentle with yourself. Sending you positive I’ve vibes ❤️❤️❤️

    • @yehhshhs
      @yehhshhs Před 10 měsíci

      pls what kind of meds helped you there? i neeed help

    • @kvetoslavakveta8111
      @kvetoslavakveta8111 Před 10 měsíci +2

      Moja dcera bola 2 mesiace hospitalizovaná, bolo to veľmi ťažké pre celú rodinu, veľmi nam chýbala chodili sme za ňou stále, boli s nou rodičia sestry. Už je doma 1 pol roka, zatiaľ je OK.. Lieky berie poctivo, uvedomuje si zatiaľ ze ináč to nebude dobré!! Aj hospitalizovana bola preto že neuzivala lieky!! Sme všetci šťastný že je doma a tešíme sa každý deň!! Mame sa veľmi radi a nieje snáď deň aby sme sa neobjali!! ❤❤Píšem to hlavne preto aby sye vedeli že aj keď sye chorí, veľmi Vás lubime!! ❤❤Píšem to ako mama dcéry ktorá si prešla niečím podobným!!! Veľa zdravia šťastia a lásky Vam prajem❤❤🙏🙏

    • @ZijnShayatanica
      @ZijnShayatanica Před 10 měsíci +2

      ​​@@yehhshhs'm not the OP, but I was also rapid cycling Bipolar I w/ a lottttttt of psychosis. Arguably, I could have been dx'd w/ Schizoaffective, but my psychs have said it's splitting hairs when the treatment is more or less the same. But I think it's probably closer to Schizoaffective because I can get [albeit mild] psychosis around my period, but not a mood episode.
      I've tried a lot of different meds, but what helped me the most is Lamotrigine 150mg/day & some PRN Risperidone 0.5mg when I notice any breakthrough psychosis... Bear in mind, I metabolize medications weirdly & a normal person might need a much higher dosage than me!! During the worst of my psychosis, I needed 1-2mg of Risperidone every day for two weeks or more in order to break through the wall of psychosis... But Lamotrigine has kept me almost totally episode-free for the last 9 years - it has quite literally saved my life.
      Seroquel was too sedating for me, personally, even at 50mg, so... Most other antipsychotics were off the table w/ my respiratory depression. Depakote caused me some stomach issues. Lithium threw my electrolytes out of whack & I was dehydrated & getting weird symptoms. Risperidone gives me a high prolactin level if I take it too often & I randomly lactate, but that's the only real side effect I experience! And it goes away eventually.
      I was SO AFRAID of the Lamotrigine rash & it caused a lot of paranoia, but... I started the meds veryyyyyyy slowlyyyyy & it is one I will never stop taking. Life w/o fear of my own mind & the world around me is too precious! My only side effects were a pretty bad headache/dizziness for the first week after dose increases.
      Sorry for the essay, lol!!

    • @fatumataholloway4897
      @fatumataholloway4897 Před 10 měsíci +1

      Lots of sympathy.

    • @Natalie-sb3km
      @Natalie-sb3km Před 9 měsíci

      @@ZijnShayatanicathank you for your comment 💜

  • @grahamokeefe9406
    @grahamokeefe9406 Před 10 měsíci +647

    I think it's odd that people criticize you for being "too well". I wouldn't expect you to make videos in a psychotic state. That said, I do think that it's probably valuable for people to see the not-so-neat parts of the experience. Also, I can understand why you might be embarrassed about irrational beliefs, but I think the vast majority of people here understand the nature of the illness and don't take your delusions as a reflection of anything you seriously believe.

    • @isaflechas
      @isaflechas Před 10 měsíci +31

      It’s a real issue. Many people say that to me too. That I look well, that I can express myself coherently despite my mental disorders and it’s difficult. People don’t believe you and dismiss your problems or think you are exaggerating when you say you need help because you don’t look like it. 😢

    • @mel3823
      @mel3823 Před 10 měsíci +2

      I agree. Well said! 😊

    • @mel3823
      @mel3823 Před 10 měsíci +4

      @isaflechas same. Everyone says oh your so nice and they they see my IED episodes and then I'm embarrassed and ashamed

    • @ursulamacx
      @ursulamacx Před 10 měsíci +12

      Not appearing to be ill is something that I experience. My Dr knows all too well, in my case, the better it looks, the worse it is. I also have a "disaster plan" with ALL the info needed. All phone numbers, step by step stuff. I keep it in an obvious place.It's for me primarily. I cannot rely on myself to look for things when I'm in a cascade. It helps me feel more secure in the event of an emergency. I also have my business current. Advance directives, POA,..all that stuff...in order. Those things reinforce that I am the CEO of my circumstances, no matter what I encounter. X

    • @LaCurlySue562
      @LaCurlySue562 Před 10 měsíci +2

      Well said! Agree 💯

  • @sylkebunschoten9018
    @sylkebunschoten9018 Před 10 měsíci +157

    This should be a basic part of the curriculum for psychiatric nurses / doctors etc. This is so incredibly valuable work you guys are doing!

    • @80islandia
      @80islandia Před 10 měsíci +3

      Exactly! I’m going to recommend that my psychiatrist watch this last suite of videos. There are so many unseized opportunities to include lived experience voices in mental health training.

    • @russellandrews4999
      @russellandrews4999 Před 10 měsíci

      I agree 100%

    • @julief4153
      @julief4153 Před 10 měsíci

      couldn’t agree more

    • @sicilyny5375
      @sicilyny5375 Před 5 měsíci +4

      For all doctors and nurses..not just specializing in psychiatric patients.

    • @tonicongemi3426
      @tonicongemi3426 Před 4 měsíci

      ABSOLUTELY !

  • @rcp2212
    @rcp2212 Před 10 měsíci +111

    As the husband of someone who had a similar experience years ago, here is further encouragement for the future of your family. Both of our kids are in their 40s. They’re independent, successful and are healthy in body, spirit and mind. Each recently remembered their childhood as being great! In just 3 days we are 48 years married. I can tell you have the key to a similar outcome.

    • @bhanusri3732
      @bhanusri3732 Před 9 měsíci +3

      So children don't inherit schizophrenia because I have schizophrenia too and I am afraid of my kids having it if I have kids

    • @rcp2212
      @rcp2212 Před 9 měsíci +5

      My kids did not inherit their mom’s mental illness. I don’t know if there was a greater chance of developing a mental illness but it certainly is not automatic.

    • @lookingupwithwonder
      @lookingupwithwonder Před 6 měsíci

      ​​@@bhanusri3732it's genetic, but not 100% guaranteed. The most important stuff to teach kids with high genetic loading for schizophrenia are healthy stress management and stay away from marijuana.

    • @sampal5352
      @sampal5352 Před 6 měsíci +1

      So kind ❤

  • @trudibourke5314
    @trudibourke5314 Před 10 měsíci +362

    My darling girl, I think it is rare to have such insight into oneself, particularly with this illness. You are a marvelous educator and I wish you well.

    • @MargaritaMagdalena
      @MargaritaMagdalena Před 9 měsíci +1

      The fact that she has such good insight into herself makes her a bad educator, actually. Most schizophrenics have poor self-insight, which makes them completely different to the people around them. I've lived with a paranoid schizophrenic for 12 years and it was hell on earth.

    • @MargaritaMagdalena
      @MargaritaMagdalena Před 9 měsíci +4

      It's much more useful to know what schizophrenia looks like to friends and relatives, and also know what effect it has on the loved ones, especially underage children. This way, relatives of schizophrenics and those responsible for the underage children can recognize the disease and seek help for the schizophrenic and the family. Now THAT would be a real progress for society that would make people's lives better.

    • @davinadavina1331
      @davinadavina1331 Před 8 měsíci +1

      @@MargaritaMagdalena how do you realize this being a paranoid schizophrenic. was it therapy that you learn compassion for yourself but the people in your life does not share the same compassion.
      family said you are the one with the problem. i dont need therapy, you do.
      i heard that line way too many times. therapy wont help if the stress is not inside us. it comes from somewhere else

    • @davidbenhoff9854
      @davidbenhoff9854 Před 7 měsíci

      Perfectly said!

    • @lookingupwithwonder
      @lookingupwithwonder Před 6 měsíci +2

      ​@MargaritaMagdalena how can she be a "bad educator" if she is just honestly sharing her own lived experience of schizophrenia?
      Any honest accounts are good education, in my view

  • @Nicholasrasmusen
    @Nicholasrasmusen Před 10 měsíci +422

    Abusive seems like a very harsh term to describe your behavior. Abuse is defined as "a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner." Based off of what you described, this behavior does not seem abusive. It's possible to hurt people unintentionally without it being abuse.

    • @alicemarks7468
      @alicemarks7468 Před 10 měsíci +22

      agree

    • @80islandia
      @80islandia Před 10 měsíci +84

      Agree. I want to give Lauren a hug and tell her she is a good person. Not abusive, not narcissistic, not trauma-inducing, not any of the negative words she used to describe herself in this video. As psych survivors we internalize so much shame and guilt that doesn’t belong to us.

    • @jonathanlewis453
      @jonathanlewis453 Před 10 měsíci +3

      This may be symptomatic.

    • @Bethechange197
      @Bethechange197 Před 10 měsíci +17

      It is 100 percent abusive to bring kids to a psych unit and explain your terrifying delusions of being poisoned with them. Absolutely, positively abusive. She's is not their mother. I would never forgive someone for exposing my children to that. It would be a cold day in hell , in fact, before I ever left them alone with her. I probably would not let them even see her. Her delusions were about the kids. Everyone is so loving and she deserves compassion. But she is hurting someone else's kids. It's so uncool. If she wants to expose her TWO YEAR OLD to that, ok. But the mother of the other two needs to protect them immediately.

    • @80islandia
      @80islandia Před 10 měsíci +113

      @@Bethechange197 She didn’t bring her kids to the psych ward. That was Rob’s choice. Then she carefully answered the eight year old’s questions about her symptoms when they got home.
      This is NOT abuse. This is like visiting any other family member who is sick in the hospital and providing an important educational experience.

  • @Jennifer-bw7ku
    @Jennifer-bw7ku Před 3 měsíci +256

    Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

    • @elizabethwilliams6651
      @elizabethwilliams6651 Před 3 měsíci +1

      Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

    • @APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU
      @APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU Před 3 měsíci

      Yes, dr.sporesss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

    • @steceymorgan814
      @steceymorgan814 Před 3 měsíci

      I wish they were readily available in my place.
      Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
      He's constantly talking about killing someone.
      He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

    • @elizabethwilliams6651
      @elizabethwilliams6651 Před 3 měsíci

      Is he on instagram?

    • @APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU
      @APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU Před 3 měsíci

      Yes he is. dr.sporesss

  • @Janey2078
    @Janey2078 Před 8 měsíci +13

    You are my new hero! I can’t thank you enough for being so raw in this interview. My son suffered with schizoaffective for over a decade. We tried every treatment, medications, ect , alternative therapy. He became extremely isolated, paranoid & depressed. He would try a hospital stay due to my begging, then end up staying in his room until discharged. On May 2, 2018,at age 30, he had enough. I miss him terribly everyday, but would not want him or anyone to live through the hell he did everyday. As a Mom, I wonder, what did I do wrong? Why couldn’t I save him?
    Please , keep sharing your ups and downs with the world. People with schizophrenia aren’t lazy, weird , dangerous. You’re an amazing lady with a wonderful, supportive husband ❤️. Sending you much love

    • @breezystl777
      @breezystl777 Před 7 měsíci +2

      randomly came across this video, then randomly came across this comment. You did nothing wrong, it sounds like you went above and beyond for your son. You're a great mother. This illness and other severe mental health disorders unfortunately are fatal sometimes. Your son was so blessed to have a mom that cares as much as you do. I struggle with survivor's guilt from an unrelated incident, and I cant imagine how much harder it is for a mother (I'm not a mom myself yet). Please know you did everything you could do though. You sound like a wonderful person to have as a mother. Sometimes our brains can be our own worst enemy, whether it's via mental illness or just everyday issues. I like to think of it as equal to someone losing their battle with cancer; they just lost their battle with their own illness. Blessings 💜

    • @Janey2078
      @Janey2078 Před 7 měsíci +1

      Thank you!!

  • @Twinkie989
    @Twinkie989 Před 10 měsíci +341

    My psychosis only ever happened around my period. I had my ovaries removed (and also stopped taking meds- which were making it all worse) and have not had a single other psychotic episode. Do not underestimate the sickness and hormones.

    • @ImQuiteGay
      @ImQuiteGay Před 10 měsíci +24

      I’m glad you found a solution 🙏

    • @masha5444
      @masha5444 Před 10 měsíci +38

      I have what has been diagnosed as PMDD, and have for many years struggled with depression, that I didn’t realize was connected to my cycle. Now, I believe that in the past it would always start before my period, and with little awareness, I would just let myself slip deeper into the darkness and not know how to get back. Watching this video, I recognize myself somewhat, but so far I’m able to push through without meds. I wonder at which point do you really KNOW you need medical treatment. I usually have suicidal thoughts, and a sense of “doom”, best way I can describe it is, world turns dark, people are cold and can’t be trusted, because they’re ill themselves (and most don’t realize it). Every time it feels pre apocalyptic? Like i’m done with my life and am now awaiting something that will bring clarity and put everything either to end, or in its place.

    • @peggysue1725
      @peggysue1725 Před 10 měsíci +12

      I just lately figured out this keeps happening around my period. Damn :/

    • @Kanggaxx
      @Kanggaxx Před 10 měsíci +1

      Wow that's so interesting. Thanks for sharing. This is going into the memory bank.

    • @Twinkie989
      @Twinkie989 Před 10 měsíci +5

      @@masha5444 They can prescribe medications that you just take before your period. Meds make me worse, but for most people, this could help PMDD. Don't give up seeking treatment.
      They can also put you on a birth control to stop your cycle.

  • @louisepolley9707
    @louisepolley9707 Před 10 měsíci +285

    This is brilliantly brave
    I cannot emphasize enough how inspired I am by you.

    • @louisepolley9707
      @louisepolley9707 Před 10 měsíci +8

      Also I don't want to speak out of term because I am not a psychologist, but 4 years is a hell of a long time to maintain stability when you struggle with a mental illness. So try replace the shame with pride as far as possible.

    • @vidmantaskvidmantask7134
      @vidmantaskvidmantask7134 Před 10 měsíci +5

      @@louisepolley9707 She felt guilty i saw and recognise that from her expressions and voice.

  • @marsenalyn4564
    @marsenalyn4564 Před 8 měsíci +11

    I was diagnosed with schitzoaffective disorder. Had my first episode in 2020. I was completely unaware of what was happening and only after did I feel the terror and trauma of what had happened. I can only imagine what it must have been like for you suddenly realizing what was happening as it was happening. You talk often about not being able to trust yourself and I got teary eyed because that's exactly how I feel especially after slipping into psychosis. It's so so scary when you have to rely on other people to ground you in reality. To know that your own brain is lying and tricking you is terrifying. It puts a new twist on the phrase "You're your worst enemy ". I'm so glad that you have supportive people in your life. That's what has saved me. Not everyone has that. Hoping for the best❤

    • @ccs9769
      @ccs9769 Před 8 měsíci

      what a terrible disease!! 👎👎👎 I'm sorry you have to deal with that.

  • @just-a-yt-guy
    @just-a-yt-guy Před 10 měsíci +37

    I think this channel is great at achieving two main things.
    1. Helping people who are suffering with mental illness and people living with those who suffer from schizophrenia
    2. Helping the wider population to understand what schizophrenia is like to manage and live with.
    To do this most effectively it is invaluable to look at the illness from all aspects (bad and good).
    PS This video was so very informative.

  • @treatmenice1564
    @treatmenice1564 Před 10 měsíci +370

    I'm so very proud of Lauren and her family.

    • @joanneverreau2546
      @joanneverreau2546 Před 10 měsíci +9

      I’m so happy that you are home with your family💕. Be gentle with yourself , you are such an amazing and strong person….Rob too🙏🏻💙

    • @cartergomez5390
      @cartergomez5390 Před 10 měsíci

      Does she hear voices?

    • @LadyAurora10
      @LadyAurora10 Před 8 měsíci +1

      Me too!

  • @etiennen4948
    @etiennen4948 Před 10 měsíci +369

    My wife has been hospitalized 83 days. I haven’t had any contact with her in 78 days due to paranoia.
    I miss Laura. ❤

    • @dewilew2137
      @dewilew2137 Před 10 měsíci +53

      Oh man. I can’t even imagine what you’re both going through. I’m sorry. 😔 💕

    • @RebeccaLynnMusic
      @RebeccaLynnMusic Před 10 měsíci +22

      I'm sorry.

    • @stephanieramirez4645
      @stephanieramirez4645 Před 10 měsíci +11

      🙏🏼😢

    • @tamaradowney9947
      @tamaradowney9947 Před 10 měsíci +18

      I'm so sorry

    • @reneeupdike2220
      @reneeupdike2220 Před 10 měsíci +24

      May God bless you for having patience and love for your wife!!!! I hope you have the strength to stay with your wife and have patience with her.❤

  • @ralphloen6901
    @ralphloen6901 Před 10 měsíci +80

    I have schizotypal disorder. I can understand why Lauren struggles to explain exactly what happens when the underlying mental architecture asserts itself. In some ways, it's like trying to explain how the subconscious mind administers digestion. It's critical to attempt to explain these types of experiences, regardless. People like us need to be heard.

    • @FlyingMonkies325
      @FlyingMonkies325 Před 9 měsíci +1

      It is for lots of conditions i can't entirely explain what happens during my episodes that happen once every 2 - 4 months with my anxiety and depression and the hardest feeling to describe is this werd nagging feeling in my brain and body i don't know what it is... and every time i keep thinking maybe it's some kind of deficiency cos it feels like something has gone low in my body, it makes me feel this weird gnawing ache that makes me want to claw myself out of my own body i'm so uncomfortable and restless... and my body is screaming it at me, but then normally 3 or 4 days later i wake up and... it's like nothing happened😕lol it's like "is this a joke? it must be" lol, all that fuss and it just pretends nothing happened lol.
      There's a few other things too where it's really hard to describe cos i don't think there's really a name for some things cos nobody knows the deeper things going on, on a cellular and bio level, but i know that our bodies DO tell us when something is low in us in various ways but the main thing is how it makes us feel sooo maybe that's telling us something i don't know... but when you're feeling some of these symptoms it's indescribable but feels so awful, it's like something is there i want to get out of my body it's so gnawing at me is the best way to describe it, but i can't describe it beyond that.

    • @dianeblohm8969
      @dianeblohm8969 Před 4 měsíci

      Schizotypal is a personality disorder which does not include psychotic symptoms , not the same symptoms as schizophrenia.

    • @ralphloen6901
      @ralphloen6901 Před 4 měsíci

      Lauren is diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. Some believe this is a variant of schizophrenia, some do not. Like schizoaffective, schizotypal disorder includes negative symptoms such as social anxiety, paranoia and magical thinking. Perhaps schizotypal has more in common with schizoaffective than schizophrenia.

    • @ralphloen6901
      @ralphloen6901 Před 4 měsíci

      Of course schizotypal people don't usually have auditory or visual hallucinations. Apparently some do; these don't persist as in schizophrenia. I have had few hallucinations myself. Schizotypal disorder and Borderline disorder were once lumped in to "Borderline Schizophrenic disorder". I think there is some disagreement among psychologists as to whether STpd is a personality disorder distinct from the schizophrenic spectrum. I can relate to things Lauren talks about but do not consider myself to be a schizophrenic person. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

    • @dianeblohm8969
      @dianeblohm8969 Před 4 měsíci

      @@ralphloen6901 I have been a mental health clinician for over 30 years. Never heard of Borderline Schizophrenic Disorder. I am not minimizing your experiences with mental health issues. Only trying to say that there is a significant clinical difference between Schizophrenia and Schizotypal PD. I agree Schizotypal has some similarities with Schizophrenia in that is are odd behaviors and beliefs. Be well.

  • @madeofmud7222
    @madeofmud7222 Před 10 měsíci +27

    I just got out of the mental hospital 4 days ago and im trying to remember everything that happened. Youve inspired me to talk about what happened, thank you so much for posting this. Im sorry both of you experienced trauma.

  • @dewilew2137
    @dewilew2137 Před 10 měsíci +292

    I don’t understand the people who have those criticisms, and quite frankly, I don’t like it. It feels like they want a spectacle to gawk at. You are not obligated to share anything that you don’t want to share. It isn’t unreasonable to not make content when you’re unwell. No one is thinking about making content in the middle of a psychotic episode. It’s absurd to even suggest that you should. Anyone saying this stuff fundamentally does not understand mental illness. How selfish and rude of them.

    • @Whateverhasbeenmynameforyears
      @Whateverhasbeenmynameforyears Před 10 měsíci +13

      I totally agree. I do understand that those who do not have it in their life and are helped by seeing it would want more exposure. Sometimes things are not understood until you see the worst. That being said, it should not be demanded or expected or made to feel like a spectacle. It is also sometimes cathartic to others who struggle to see it with someone else and sometimes can provide insight into something you were unaware of in yourself or someone who you love who has similar struggles. Again with respect and free will and not demanded. But there are also those who have a more malice view sadly. Who want to feel superior but this would be my understanding of those who have better intentions.

    • @pauloperes9378
      @pauloperes9378 Před 10 měsíci +4

      My thoughts exactly

    • @Laura-tv2dx
      @Laura-tv2dx Před 10 měsíci +7

      Some people with schizophrenia don't really see themselves in her. Think about what the main problem with schizophrenia is- loss of cognitive function. Yet here is a woman who has a degree and a family and a job. 90% of schizophrenics are unemployed. It's the disability with the highest unemployment rate.

    • @dangerbirb4981
      @dangerbirb4981 Před 10 měsíci +4

      On CZcams and other places on the internet there's this push to make disability palatable for mass consumption. I don't think it's on purpose in a lot of cases or it is a coping strategy for others but when you show up perfectly coifed with a clean house, supportive family, and are presenting as very functional it feels disingenuous to the vast majority whose lives are not like that. When I was in peer support groups the vast majority did not have half of those things. Lots of people had been living in half way houses, on tiny disability checks, unable to work, coping poorly on meds that didn't work for them prescribed by doctors who weren't very interested in helping beyond the bare minimum. Lots of people were estranged from their families or stuck in toxic relationships. There was a lack of education and lack of resources. People struggled so hard to survive. Some people had even been arrested for being symptomatic in public. It's much harder to be a schizophrenic black man, for example. I think Lauren is extremely lucky to be where she is. I don't say that to put her down but to point out that the reality is much starker for many people so I can see why they resent this presentation.

    • @ksthoughtpalace3042
      @ksthoughtpalace3042 Před 10 měsíci +2

      Because people don't understand schizophrenia they Want to see what the 'bad' part is, or what goes on in someone's head during psychosis. They want to know the whole story so they can understand fully. // Not sharing that kind of info makes this a channel more of a support for people and families already dealing with schizophrenia, than for people who are trying to learn more about it.

  • @leeartlee915
    @leeartlee915 Před 10 měsíci +66

    I’ve said this throughout her recent struggles but it bares repeating: I cannot imagine being brave enough to put this on the internet and I know a lot of people are grateful for her showing us these difficult times. I’m just glad she has such a great support system.

  • @vindelanda
    @vindelanda Před 10 měsíci +4

    Thank you for being so honest and vulnerable with your illness and with your recent hospitalization. I learned a lot from this video and from your other videos, and they help me to be more compassionate.

  • @danielleonetwo
    @danielleonetwo Před 10 měsíci

    Thank you for sharing so much about such a difficult time in your life. Sending you and your family so much love 💜

  • @walle226
    @walle226 Před 10 měsíci +73

    You know that you are doing something for humanity here right? Thanks so much from the bottom of my heart!

  • @madcow3417
    @madcow3417 Před 10 měsíci +54

    This is a little off-topic, but this is a quote from the movie One Hour Photo. "People take pictures of the happy moments in their lives. Someone looking through our photo album would conclude that we had led a joyous, leisurely existence... free of tragedy. No one ever takes a photograph of something they want to forget."
    That's not the only reason you don't post video of psychotic episodes. It sounds like an intense and very personal event. I wouldn't post a video of me vomiting for hours or curled up in the fetal position on a channel about migraines.

    • @dewilew2137
      @dewilew2137 Před 10 měsíci +2

      That’s such a great movie!

    • @madcow3417
      @madcow3417 Před 10 měsíci +3

      @@elcapitan24 it might be, but I wouldn't post it. It's like posting naked pictures of yourself, but two steps beyond. It's not just me at my most vulnerable, it's reliving it with each comment, good or bad. The sympathetic comments would be tough to read. Anything about it being staged or not that bad would just feel devastating.

  • @LatteCoco1
    @LatteCoco1 Před 10 měsíci +18

    Its not often people are open about their experiences, but Lauren enables an open conversation about these things on a large platform. You rock Lauren, I think you’re so resilient.

  • @Auritilien
    @Auritilien Před 10 měsíci +3

    Thank you for making these videos and being vulnerable with us. Taking accountability for the hurt your actions did while you were in an altered state of mind is something not everyone can do, even when it isn't done in an altered state. You two are wonderful human beings

  • @mzdawn8374
    @mzdawn8374 Před 10 měsíci +120

    As someone that experienced a parent with schizophrenia, I just wanted to say that I really appreciate that you are being transparent with your children. My extended family was not forthright with us kids, and I know that that contributed to confusion, feelings of alienation, and (frankly) disrespect/distrust towards adults in general. Thank you.

  • @Grace1708
    @Grace1708 Před 10 měsíci +147

    Lauren and Rob have an incredibly honest and healthy communication style. Obviously this is a difficult conversation to have, especially publicly, but the empathy on Rob's part and the accountability and vulnerability on Lauren's part are really special - for any couple btw. Thank you both for being so transparent.

    • @thehypercasual385
      @thehypercasual385 Před 8 měsíci +4

      seems kinda like he is publicly shaming her

    • @BorisNoiseChannel
      @BorisNoiseChannel Před 8 měsíci +3

      @@thehypercasual385 the word "gaslighting" came to mind, when I's watching this. And then there's him, telling her kids _"of course in an age appropriate way"_ that mommy is mentally ill, which, when he tells her that here, seems to totally surprise (and shock) her. Why is: _"mommy is ill and she's staying there so the doctors can make her well again"_ not enough information? If Rob's wife had cancer, would he also ask her to elaborate on how her illness is hurting him?

    • @luchirimoya
      @luchirimoya Před 5 měsíci

      ​@@thehypercasual385totally :/

  • @dandeliondreamer3365
    @dandeliondreamer3365 Před 10 měsíci +2

    Lauren and Rob I am so sorry you have to go through these difficult experiences. I can hear the pain in your voices. Your insight and ability to share your experience with the rest of us is such a blessing, sending love and hugs, wishing you and your littles the best ❤ 😊

  • @relaxmore444
    @relaxmore444 Před 10 měsíci

    Thank you for sharing your story Lauren! and educating people about how it went down and what to expect. I am glad that you have such such good support from your partner Rob! I hope that you are doing better.

  • @raeperonneau4941
    @raeperonneau4941 Před 10 měsíci +45

    It’s a chronic illness and the fact that you knew you were in trouble and took action is huge. It’s awesome to see you at home and healing. …and please don’t worry about giving the wrong impression on camera. I hope everyone understands that these videos are just a snapshot of your life and putting it together for the camera is about a human as one can get. The effort you make to help us understand is truly appreciated.

  • @thedavesiknow4598
    @thedavesiknow4598 Před 10 měsíci +55

    It is super upsetting that the POLICE are called in these events. POLICE presence can escalate things unnecessarily. I don't have a solution, but am merely observing that there should be another step in place.
    The way mental events are handled leaves much to be desired.
    Love and healing to you ❤

    • @fuchsfarben
      @fuchsfarben Před 10 měsíci +15

      I get what you say, but in Rob's situation, with a person on the road who is in psychosis and a very possible danger to everyone around her, police is the only option.
      There is no other step for stopping somebody in a car on the road, when you don't even know where they are.

    • @thedavesiknow4598
      @thedavesiknow4598 Před 10 měsíci +5

      @@fuchsfarben yes of course I understand the urgency of the operation of heavy dangerous machinery...
      However there are opportunities (I am not picking on these folks' situation, it is just one of many examples) to have people/steps in place PRIOR to police enforcement to help. Maybe trusted people, a point person that is not necessarily family, but a GUIDE of some sort to walk with and through with the person experiencing the episode. Like she said, family can be a paranoia trigger and also adds shame of what you "are putting your family through" which doesn't help.
      Hmmm... a psychosis guide - like a guardian angel....

    • @leahpitman2731
      @leahpitman2731 Před 10 měsíci +8

      ⁠@@thedavesiknow4598es, they should have trained intervention people who would be able to say the right words to someone in psychosis who could deescalate the situation. I suppose, there could be too much of a risk and things could escalate quickly. It just seems so unfair. I mean Rob is a safe person, yet while in a state of psychosis she is even afraid of him. She understands and knows this once the episode is over. Since she isn’t at the moment able to think rationally, anyone could become “the enemy”. Just so hard. Having to “endure” the “checkin” process would be sheer torture for someone in psychosis! My heart breaks for her, and yet she is so passionate about using her painful experiences to help others! An amazing person! The pain in her eyes as she relays this episode is so obviously there! She so much wants to be free of this!

    • @louisehogg8472
      @louisehogg8472 Před 10 měsíci +2

      Locally they try to call the health service mental health crisis team, rather than general police now. If possible.

    • @louisehogg8472
      @louisehogg8472 Před 10 měsíci +1

      @@thedavesiknow4598 that's a good idea and could be part of someone's Wellness Action Plan.
      Here they've tried to improve things, with each police station and A&E department having a mental health professional available 24/7. Also the health service mental health Crisis Team or Direct Brief Intervention Team are usually called.
      And if someone is only intermittently losing reality and not too disjointed in their thinking, it CAN be possible to de-escalate by listening and putting yourself in their shoes. Avoiding clumsy 'threatening' behaviours.

  • @lucysweeney8347
    @lucysweeney8347 Před 10 měsíci

    Thank you Lauren and Rob,for your courage,honesty and sharing the struggles from both the hospital front line and the home front line.This is the greatest help to me trying to understand and support people with this devastating illness.Wishing you a better day every day as you work together on your recovery.Great job.

  • @MonsieurCanuck
    @MonsieurCanuck Před 10 měsíci +2

    Wow, amazing video. Thank you so much for sharing and being so open and honest. My whole family watched from beginning to end, and your candor allowed us to have some really good discussion. We have a family member with mental illness, and this video made it a lot less scary. Also, so glad you're on the road to recovery - lots of love going your way!

  • @pittsdogm
    @pittsdogm Před 10 měsíci +61

    You'll never realize how many people you have helped, being so open and vulnerable. Thank you so much.

  • @Andi-tx1rl
    @Andi-tx1rl Před 10 měsíci +33

    You are not a fraud for putting on makeup & an outfit. Ppl don't put the hard things on the internet. You are incredibly brave. And if makeup helps you feel more comfortable to get on camera... that's absolutely OK. And yes, psych hospitalizations are horrific. I'm so happy you're home & feeling a bit better. ❤

  • @healingfear
    @healingfear Před 10 měsíci +2

    It's very generous of you to share these experiences with us. Thank you, Lauren.

  • @Momshouseofchaos
    @Momshouseofchaos Před 10 měsíci

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for your transparency throughout this challenging time. It is so helpful to those of us who love and/or care for folks dealing with mental health crises. Wishing you a lifetime of better days ahead!!

  • @littlemissmisses2981
    @littlemissmisses2981 Před 10 měsíci +69

    As someone who has autoimmune disease, I can tell you first hand that being physically sick really effects me mentally. Like, really. I’m here because idk what box I fit in when I’m mentally unwell. I may not have schizoaffective disorder but there’s something, being here with you helps me so much. ❤

    • @queenselene1834
      @queenselene1834 Před 10 měsíci

      I feel you

    • @jod8067
      @jod8067 Před 10 měsíci

      What auto immune system do you have of you don't mind me asking

    • @Aemys
      @Aemys Před 10 měsíci +7

      It's a grief process. You miss the person you once were, the things you no longer can do. I feel you. I also have an auto-immune disease, as well as bipolar disorder. It can clash in terrible ways.
      But even if you don't have a previous experience with mental illness, chronic illness can play a role on your mental well-being.

    • @joantrader1159
      @joantrader1159 Před 9 měsíci +2

      My daughter who lives with me has a very complex autoimmune disease. I know stress on her body from the disease creates emotional stress which again affects her body. It is a terrible cycle
      My heart goes out to you.

    • @joantrader1159
      @joantrader1159 Před 9 měsíci +2

      Yes. There is grieving also for the life you thought you would have. My daughter was in her early 20's when her disease really excelerated.

  • @hberri7772
    @hberri7772 Před 10 měsíci +214

    Rob is such a great interviewer and thank you for elaborating on certain questions.

    • @jacquelineleitch7050
      @jacquelineleitch7050 Před 10 měsíci +9

      Rob is an intelligent, educated, enlightened, cool person. For all the people trying to imagine that Rob is the problem. Raspberries

    • @e.s.lavall9219
      @e.s.lavall9219 Před 10 měsíci +1

      100%, Rob is exactly the kind of partner someone with chronic mental illness needs. Rob haters WTF???

    • @alienatedd
      @alienatedd Před 10 měsíci +5

      @@jacquelineleitch7050intelligent enough to feed her a self-deprecating picture of who she is while he controls her every move like an abusive parent instead of partner

    • @jacquelineleitch7050
      @jacquelineleitch7050 Před 10 měsíci +2

      @@alienatedd Do you want me to argue with you or are you just correct?

    • @calibrial
      @calibrial Před 10 měsíci +1

      @@alienatedd you sound like you may be projecting. Have you recently started watching this channel?

  • @JannockDiors
    @JannockDiors Před 10 měsíci +1

    I love seeing your channel grow!!! Also, the insight into your experiences are so helpful and I really appreciate them and you!

  • @julief4153
    @julief4153 Před 10 měsíci +8

    Lauren & Rob you two are such an inspiration. Thank you for sharing so openly what you’re going through with your illness. It has truly helped me understand how to better support people around me and be more open minded.
    You’re making the world a better place and I have the greatest respect for you ❤

  • @revali2187
    @revali2187 Před 10 měsíci +60

    Rob, I hope you’re doing ok. I know what it’s like to deal with anxiety and depression and still feel responsible for someone else who deals with mental illness and I wish you nothing but strength.

  • @miminzb
    @miminzb Před 10 měsíci +154

    It makes me cry to see you beating yourself up about how you treated Rob while experiencing psychosis. It is not your fault. You cannot control your thoughts and actions in this situation. You should be very proud of yourself that you went to the hospital voluntarily.

    • @SamiVortex
      @SamiVortex Před 10 měsíci +35

      It's important that those of us who are mentally ill in this capacity to take responsibility when we mistreat those we care about. It's one, validating to your partner so that they don't feel as though they CAUSED the psychosis or did something to trigger it. But two, it helps us to acknowledge our actions when these things are getting bad. To identify the pattern. We cannot use our mental illness as a plain excuse or we will never really improve. So yes, I believe people should be understanding, BUT it's counterproductive to just pretend that the emotional/mental abuse didn't occur and brush it off. It also just let's them know we care and that we aren't proud of those actions and would do anything not to repeat them such as going inpatient. No one who is truly mentally ill likes to go to the hospital, they do it to be Progressive. Just a small take from a Bipolar Type 2 😊

    • @meretriciousinsolent
      @meretriciousinsolent Před 8 měsíci +1

      ​@@SamiVortexI think it's important to recognise the symptoms but not carry shame and guilt, since it's not possible for the person experiencing mental disturbance to choose not to do it. I think she wouldn't tell another person they are responsible or should feel guilt and shame, which is a good way to ascertain whether it's a useful or healthy response. Acknowledgement and recognition, absolutely. Adding to a palate of stress and stigma, nope.

    • @SamiVortex
      @SamiVortex Před 8 měsíci +2

      @meretriciousinsolent I mean I get what you're saying but if you allow yourself to mentally abuse those around your and never take accountability and apologize or feel bad for it, quite literally that's sociopathic behavior. Idk about you, but even being extremely mentally ill I feel bad when I treat people bad. It's the last thing I want. And that's a HUMAN emotion. Just saying "Yeah I mean you don't have to feel bad that you did that because you're mentally ill" is not helpful in the process of helping the people you love to overcome those symptoms. You're just giving them a scapegoat for the next time they treat someone bad, and they have gotten used to "oh honey it's because you're mentally ill" that will be the excuse every time. They won't feel the need to work on it in therapy because that's what they are being told by others. Then when those behaviors become to much and those people leave to shelter their own mental health, they are going to be confused as to what they did wrong. They have always been told by that person that the behaviors presented were justified by their condition. So it will lead to distrust, and shame. I'm afraid that by me telling my ex that it was okay for him to treat me and other people the way he did when he was feeling how he was, because he was undiagnosed and didn't understand what was going on, that led him to the idea that he'd never have to face a single consequence for any of his actions. Now I have a Protective Order against him and have to face him in court for the charges filed against him. Because when I finally told him "You know what, you can't just treat people the way you do without doing any work on your end to try to prevent it." Because anyone diagnosed Bipolar knows, we can prevent with certain therapeutic methods and working directly with an outpatient psych that we can learn how to control our behaviors. Its a little tougher with people with Schizophrenia or Schizoaffective disorder, but still can be controlled a little closer with the right treatments and such. I work in mental health, I'm in school to become a psych nurse. ANY licensed psychiatrist or therapist will tell you that anyone who wants to do better, can. There are many educational types of programs other there for all sorts of mental illnesses. Telling people about these isn't adding to the stigma, it's giving them resources to live a better life more in control of the things that are holding them back. You wouldn't ask someone with cancer not to take radiation because it would stigmatize cancer. So don't ask a mentally ill person not to seek the therapies that are designed to help them grow and achieve. No it doesn't make it go away, but it shows them a better way.

    • @stkate1093
      @stkate1093 Před 8 měsíci +5

      @@SamiVortex as the wife of a man suffering with psychotic mental health challenges, your saying this is extremely comforting for me to hear. as your loved ones, we take the brunt of it when we know you are not being your true selves. it truly helps us when you're able to acknowledge the hurt we may feel in the process.

    • @SamiVortex
      @SamiVortex Před 8 měsíci +1

      @stkate1093 that's exactly why I say it too! It's already hard for us to hold stable relationships. If you find the person willing to stick around and you justify abusive behaviors with "Well I'm mentally ill, so you have to deal with it." Instead of "I'm so sorry, you're loved, appreciated, and what I did to you while in that state of mind wasn't okay. Thank you for not giving up on me." Then you're just pushing them away too. It's not harmful to realize when your behaviors are harmful. I stick by that 100%

  • @dollparts66
    @dollparts66 Před 8 měsíci +3

    This left me in tears! So relatable! I totally understand you, Lauren, and anyone like you! Please continue to share your story! We Love you!

  • @chloeslater7231
    @chloeslater7231 Před 10 měsíci +1

    a different set of diagnosis but can always relate to your channel so much. The feelings in that acute period, the fluctuating insight, the paranoia, the combativeness, the interpersonal chaos, the terror, so many thing. I'm so grateful for your channel, I find it so helpful and also reduces the level of shame I have around 20 years of severe mental illness and hospitalisations. Thank you.

  • @CarolAnneAmos
    @CarolAnneAmos Před 10 měsíci +17

    "It's complicated and messy." My adult daughter with sza had a similar experience in our local ER. Unfortunately, her dad and I were out of town when she had her psychotic break. After the dust settled, I contacted the hospital about her treatment in the ER. They were defensive, but as I suggested to them, please take my suggestions to help the next psychotic patient that enters your ER. There is a vast difference between care for emergency physical care and emergency mental health care.

  • @Brandyelyse
    @Brandyelyse Před 10 měsíci +40

    I am a RN and I have bipolar with psychotic features. I worked in psych nursing for a few years. I think you articulated your experience the best that I've ever heard. Thank you for sharing. It really resonated with me when you said you like to pretend you don't have a mental illness. I feel that way too because I am so high functioning but then I remind myself that I would not be so high functioning if I didn't do all the things meds, supplements, therapy, self care. Also I remind myself that I can do all those things and still get sick. I'm praying for you to recover well. Thank you for showing the hospital as well. I can't believe they allowed that but that was great.

  • @didimunteanukasa1246
    @didimunteanukasa1246 Před 9 měsíci +2

    I am so glad you and your partner got this. I am in awe of how the two of you are tackling this!
    Your content is helping me tremendously to understand my 75yo dad who's been living with schizoid disorder for more than half (and my entire) life. The way you give insight into your experience really helps me not just to understand what you go through, but also what he goes through every day, and also the strength needed to be able to see past a psychotic episode. But more than that, it helps me heal from all the trauma my family and i have collected through the years, not being able to separate the person from the illness.
    I am very grateful to you and value the strength and vulnerability you show in normalizing what living with mental illness really is. Stay healthy, take care!

  • @chantal2067
    @chantal2067 Před 10 měsíci

    Thank you (and Rob) for sharing the experience. It was nice to hear about how you talk about your struggles with your kids. That transparency and willingness to lean into their curiosity will help them in their lives.

  • @myrnaedmisten599
    @myrnaedmisten599 Před 10 měsíci +47

    You are helping de stigmatize mental health/mental illness. Thanks to you and Rob. ❤

    • @cdrshean
      @cdrshean Před 10 měsíci

      When I listen to you and Rob, I understand my 35 yo sons experiences with his schizoaffective disorder so much more clearly. Thank you both from the bottom of my heart💕

  • @katiefromcolorado4972
    @katiefromcolorado4972 Před 10 měsíci +28

    You are not wrong about the extreme mental stress that come with menstruation and sinus pressure (colds). These things on top of life stress will ALWAYS put my mental health in the dumpster.

  • @user-ez9sw2hf3u
    @user-ez9sw2hf3u Před 10 měsíci

    Thanks a lot Lauren for sharing. It's precious and allows me to better understand my son who has the same diagnosis. A big shout to Rob for his support and understanding. I send you both positives vibes in this difficult period.

  • @rebecca-72
    @rebecca-72 Před 10 měsíci

    Thank you both. I know from experience how real all of this is, and that it often doesn’t end as well as it did for you this time. I’m sure it was painful to talk about but I truly appreciate hearing my own experiences and fears from both of you validated. I’m really happy for you that it worked out as well as it did. It is very sad that voluntary intensive psychiatric care is only possible through the overworked emergency room situation. I hope one day this will change. Thank you and wishing you strength and patience in getting well again.

  • @hsbswjwsb
    @hsbswjwsb Před 10 měsíci +51

    we all love you lauren, never forget that

  • @michelles9897
    @michelles9897 Před 10 měsíci +39

    💟 Lauren & Rob you are two wonderful humans. Thanks for all that you do.

  • @wonderwoman5528
    @wonderwoman5528 Před 10 měsíci

    Your openness and honesty will help so many people going through the same thing, as well as educating people who may not understand. I’m wishing you the best recovery from this illness

  • @davidbenhoff9854
    @davidbenhoff9854 Před 7 měsíci +19

    I stumbled upon your posting by accident, and was glued to every second. You are one brave, and inspirational woman. I served over two decades in the US Marines, and knew lots of brave men and women...and your bravery is right up there. Your genuineness is so apparent, and you're obviously a wonderful human being. Love your sense of humor about such difficult experiences.
    Rob, you're a gem, my friend. I wish you both so very much good in your future. If you ever get down to Florida, look us up. Seriously. Will take yall swimming with the manatees!

  • @DreamsOfCepheid
    @DreamsOfCepheid Před 10 měsíci +17

    I have an intense need to wander or escape when I'm psychotic. Last time I quit my job and tried to take my car to run away to another state. You are not alone! I also had to do a day in the ER hallway while they tried to find me a bed last year. The nurse would ask if I was OK and the social worker brought me food but other than that I was left naked with no phone or anything to distract myself while I waited over 10 hours. It was hell. When the ambulance finally came to take me to a ward, the lady asked the nurse if I was a problem right in front of me. The trauma is real and horrifying! Hugs!

    • @libbyhyett6625
      @libbyhyett6625 Před 10 měsíci +4

      Been there done that. Reading your words shocked me then I realised I've been there too. Why is a relapse in mental illness not treated better? It's not a first episode. Bad system.

  • @veronicai6278
    @veronicai6278 Před 10 měsíci +29

    Don't apologize for wanting to be 'put together.' People will literally criticize people for anything and everything no matter what you do. Public figures can't win (I'm speaking from experience!!).

  • @T.Beattie89
    @T.Beattie89 Před 10 měsíci +1

    First time seeing your channel. Thank you so much!!! I’m so proud that you got four years! And you chose to check yourself in!

  • @missybrewer423
    @missybrewer423 Před 10 měsíci

    I love this channel. You are an inspiration. I work with mental illness everyday so thank you so so much for being open enough to do this! It really is so helpful! Truly! May you continue doing "well" in your journey.

  • @janiegetyourgun
    @janiegetyourgun Před 10 měsíci +10

    My family is not convinced I have schizophrenia (despite diagnosis) because I do not fit their idea of what a schizophrenic looks/acts like. I get good grades in uni so I must be fine. They don’t see my daily struggles to be/appear normal. I work, I go to school, but I literally forego proper hygiene and other things in order to make space for work and studying because I cannot handle work, school, cooking every meal, showering and grooming every day, maintaining a social life, cleaning my house. I’d be in psychosis 24/7. So in order to finish school and earn my degree while working, that’s where I put my efforts. I shower maybe once a week, I wash my hair every two weeks and only brush it after I wash it, I shave even less, I trim my nails once a month, I have no friends because I have no time to hang out or call people all the time, i don’t exercise, I try to cook most nights but my husband cleans and does the dishes to help me. I work 9 hours a day, come home, cook, and study. That’s my routine. Adding anything to that compounds my stress and overwhelms me to the point where I start slipping into psychosis. I cannot wait to graduate next year and take school off my plate.

  • @noeraldinkabam
    @noeraldinkabam Před 10 měsíci +25

    Lauren, be nice to yourself. You are doing very well and getting sicker does not reflect bad on any part of you. I know you’re scared. Guilt is good for nothing when you didn’t choose to do anything.

  • @severusdeath
    @severusdeath Před 9 měsíci

    It takes a lot of courage to put this out there for our education, thank you both.

  • @vickirae247
    @vickirae247 Před 7 měsíci +5

    You are so brave, sweet and transparent. I knew nothing about this diagnosis until listening to your channel. Thank you for the education. Kudos for being open and encouraging others to do the same. Rob, you are an amazing support!

  • @phototristan
    @phototristan Před 10 měsíci +52

    I hope you don't feel pressure to have to make videos about all of your experiences. You don't need that added pressure. Of course if you want to do so and it helps, that's different.

    • @wren1114
      @wren1114 Před 10 měsíci +2

      Exactly

    • @paulflint6254
      @paulflint6254 Před 10 měsíci +1

      same here

    • @alicemarks7468
      @alicemarks7468 Před 10 měsíci +4

      I agree. I feel like people don't realize that this is HER channel and HER life...and they end up treating her like a product/spectacle. It's not her responsibility to share everything she experiences.

    • @alienatedd
      @alienatedd Před 10 měsíci +5

      Well her “partner” manipulates her into filming when she’s in a vulnerable place. It’s mentioned in the beginning of the video that she’s doesn’t want to be doing this but Rob wants her to. She will NEVER heal in this environment because he will always be manipulating her thoughts and actions, which is NOT helpful for someone struggling to have two firm feet planted in reality. Abuse causes paranoia, it doesn’t create an environment to take it away.

    • @indigomage2833
      @indigomage2833 Před 10 měsíci +2

      ​@@alienateddShe wouldn't have parinoia about people mind controling her if her whole life wasn't controlled by Rob

  • @alexandrac591
    @alexandrac591 Před 10 měsíci +118

    I can't stop lingering on the knowledge that you got so much sicker and were in so much more danger *because* the ER experience was so bad and that they didn't prioritize your needs for days once you were in. Like, no wonder you left and probably felt betrayed, which is probably a very reasonable reaction. And then! The police are the only option to get you. And THEN! A horrifying, carceral room that almost anyone would feel unsafe in.
    The hospital is no better and again, why does it seem like such a purposeful removal of dignity. You're here to heal but they start with a stunning array of obstacles to your healing, making it worse for literally everyone involved. It's carceral. It's heartbreaking. We should know better by now.
    I fully, fully respect that there's a need for a safe and therapeutic space for severe mental illness events. And this just doesn't feel like it's adequate or helpful toward that end goal. That this is your best experience is ... I'm glad, but also sad.

    • @jameslatta6813
      @jameslatta6813 Před 10 měsíci +9

      Yeah. She looks really, really traumatized. Good grief. Look at her eyes. She's totally clear headed.

    • @sia9907
      @sia9907 Před 10 měsíci +10

      It's barbaric and I'm so angry on her behalf. She was trying to do the right thing and it backfired. Canadian healthcare is the worst.

    • @alexandrac591
      @alexandrac591 Před 10 měsíci +9

      @@sia9907 I am genuinely curious about what country does mental health care the best. To a degree, I feel like there's people who do want to help and do the right thing but the system won't let them. It feels incredibly archaic but it impacts real lives every day.

    • @jameslatta6813
      @jameslatta6813 Před 10 měsíci

      @@sia9907 How so? She looked like she had checked into a decent hotel.

    • @jenniebrogan3197
      @jenniebrogan3197 Před 10 měsíci +13

      Lauren’s experience of waiting to be assessed and get a bed for hours at an ER is common in the US, at least where I am in Virginia. I’ve known people who were not given any medication while waiting in small rooms or in a hallway, which did exacerbate their symptoms.

  • @crystalmiyake8135
    @crystalmiyake8135 Před 10 měsíci +2

    Thank you for continuing to update us, as you recover. You are a warrior. I love that you have been transparent. It has helped me to understand so much more, about my dad and his mental illness. Take good care of yourself. ❤

  • @rpink8531
    @rpink8531 Před 10 měsíci +2

    So grateful to you Lauren for sharing. This is so validating. Thank you for your courage being vulnerable with us. You are making a difference 🙏

  • @bluejedi723
    @bluejedi723 Před 10 měsíci +19

    Think of each hospitalization as a learning experience. And you move forward. It's not a personal failure.

  • @wee0007
    @wee0007 Před 10 měsíci +9

    It’s so important to remember that growth and healing isn’t linear. We fall down, we drag ass, we get up and struggle in silence. but we are still working towards wellness. Your commitment to your own healing should be celebrated ❤

  • @kimporter953
    @kimporter953 Před 10 měsíci +2

    You are incredibly brave and your courage in being vulnerable and sharing your struggles with “the world” is appreciated more than you could ever possibly know from those of us seeking to understand the disease and support and love our family members through it. I am a mama of a son who lives with schizoaffective disorder. You are a beacon of hope and knowledge for me. I am incredibly thankful for your honesty and vulnerability. Your strength and perseverance brings me to tears regularly. I also have the utmost respect and admiration for Rob’s steady love and support through the challenging times. I understand how difficult and heartbreaking this disease can be. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing the truth…good and not so good. Hope is a wonderful gift for this mama. ❤️

  • @im19ice3
    @im19ice3 Před 8 měsíci

    i'm glad you're doing better, thank you for sharing, your channel always helps me recharge my self-compassion battery and fills me up with more patience and solidarity with all the people in my life, both those who struggle with mental illness like me and those who support us along it.

  • @user-hu9bh8ww1y
    @user-hu9bh8ww1y Před 10 měsíci +42

    People with cancer have to go to hospital. People who have strokes have to go to hospital . Etc....people with mental illness may have to go to hospital. Best wishes to you both and kids...

    • @mhtxi9486
      @mhtxi9486 Před 10 měsíci +2

      When someone is sick of cancer or fever it is ok they always go back and forth to hospital but if it is illness of psychosis etc. the society will always looks at it with a different outlook. Why cant they be like any other illness? Maybe because we do not accept it as illness of any kind. I hope one day the society will accept it as normal illness we send them to hospital like any other illness is sent to hospital and no more expectations

  • @maricormier121
    @maricormier121 Před 10 měsíci +8

    I am a retired social worker/mental health thetapist. After watching any of your viedo I have the utmost respect and admirat

    • @maricormier121
      @maricormier121 Před 10 měsíci

      Starting over from previous comment. As a retired social worker/mental health worker I havevthe utmost respect admiration for you, and all of the numerous viedos you put out. If only I knew you and your struggles 30 years ago I could have been a greater help to my clients!!! You put a face on mental health diagnosis specifically psychosis. Please, please consider sharing your experiences with individuals who are training as MD's or anyone considering working in medical and/ or mental health. Your sharing can't compare to book learning!!!!! Consider contacting medical schools near where uou live, or even far away...you are a GEM!!! And whatvthe hell....sitting in the er for 5 hours with no medication????? That wouldn't happen if you were diabetic! Speaking of diabetes if you were to look at your psychosis as diabetes maybe you can take some comfort. Soneone with diabtets does all the right things... eating a good diet, exercise, taking medications, and keeping a healthy weight, but yet their blood sugar rises or lowers at a dangerous level...they need to see the doc or be hospitalized to adjust their medications. It's the same with you. You do everything in yiur power to function to enjiy life and stay out of the hospital, but as with diabetes yiu needed an adjustment in yiur medications. And while I'm at it, who in the heck is bothered by your appearance??? You look to good, have make up on or perhaps you should look more disheveled....please, pkease you don't need to apologize to anyone. You my dear are my hero. Love to you, Rob and your kids. The world needs to hear more from you!!!

  • @SkyJane24
    @SkyJane24 Před 8 měsíci +3

    Hi Lauren, I’m so happy I found your channel. I can relate to so many things you are saying. Everyone in my immediate family has a significant mental illness. I struggle with Bipolar Disorder, battered women’s syndrome, & im survivor from sex trafficking, sexual assault & domestic violence. So important you shared the important details of your Last psychotic episode. Also loved that you shared it with your children the younger the learn about the mental illness the more educated they are & less scary it will be for them . I have four children & have found this to be true.❤️‍🩹

  • @smedoz
    @smedoz Před 8 měsíci

    Thank you for your brutal honesty. It’s helpful to understand what people with similar illnesses go through.

  • @RebeccaLizEve
    @RebeccaLizEve Před 10 měsíci +12

    I wonder if you guys can see how many viewers watched the completion of this video. I estimate 100% of us saw it through, so please don’t apologize for a longer video than usual!
    Thank you for being so vulnerable and honest, and this journey has helped everyone watching understand mental health better than they did before your first video when you were hospitalized.

  • @soul7530
    @soul7530 Před 10 měsíci +19

    It makes me feel out of control to think we can stay on our meds yet still there’s a possibility of a psychotic episode and need to go back into hospital.

  • @Sunshinesinthesky
    @Sunshinesinthesky Před 10 měsíci

    Lauren and Rob are so brave and vulnerable. I’m mind blown and so touched to know such amazing souls are out there willing to share their challenges in order to promote and normalise mental health conversations. ❤ THANK YOU!

  • @cynsue1618
    @cynsue1618 Před 9 měsíci

    Thank you so much for sharing what you are sharing here, I have a dear, dear friend who struggles with this, but won't stay on her meds. Also there has been so much shame associated with mental illness through the ages, this is something that really needs to stop and for someone to share this I think is so healing and helpful! Thank you, thank you.

  • @katestewart6274
    @katestewart6274 Před 10 měsíci +8

    Thank you so much for being so vulnerable with us!

  • @Shelly9401
    @Shelly9401 Před 10 měsíci +3

    I’m very proud of you for getting help & sharing your story so others don’t feel so alone & to help people understand more about mental illness. God Bless you & your family.

  • @shelleygrambower3687
    @shelleygrambower3687 Před 10 měsíci

    Thank you so very much for being so honest and raw!
    The lives you will have a positive impact on and likely save are numerous and you should be very proud of that.
    You said a phrase being I like to pretend I done have my disorder and that I can live my life like I done - this resonated so very much for me. I have complex post traumatic stress disorder and like you I prefer to live my life in denial that this should/could impact my ability to do what it appears everyone else can do. Thank you for helping me see where I am not serving myself! Xo

  • @f.miller801
    @f.miller801 Před 10 měsíci

    Much love to you Rob. Nedless to say but always take care of this amazing human being you have on your side. Hope it get easier to you guys!

  • @milikoshki
    @milikoshki Před 10 měsíci +9

    I had a rough and too long hospital experience after being hit by a car. The stress, trauma from the injury, lack of sleep, zero privacy, being checked on every hour through the night, and on and on... I know it is not the same, but still, I really cannot imagine experiencing something similar while also having a fuzzy reality. I'm so impressed with your ability to talk through such a fresh and difficult experience. Wishing you good health ❤️

  • @gigahorse1475
    @gigahorse1475 Před 10 měsíci +11

    No matter what you do, people on the internet will criticize you. If you show all your worst moments, they will say you’re attention-seeking or dramatic. If you only show your best moments they will say you’re a faker or inauthentic. If you wear makeup and look presentable then they will say you’re not really ill. If you don’t put on makeup people will say you’re not trying hard enough.
    There will always be critics, but most people here are kind and support you. Do what you want and what makes you comfortable. I appreciate your channel. ❤

  • @rainy_day3
    @rainy_day3 Před 9 měsíci +2

    You're so easily relatable and incredibly articulate. I am soooo glad I found your channel. Thank you for being so blunt, as well as courageous!

  • @MOLLYLUNCHCO
    @MOLLYLUNCHCO Před 10 měsíci +1

    I learn so much from you, Lauren. The ability to know or be aware of the boundaries of an ever-shifting personal capacity is something I am also trying to work on. You are a role model to me because of your honesty and vulnerability. Thank you.

  • @MandaPanda254
    @MandaPanda254 Před 10 měsíci +3

    So proud of you, and Rob, for sharing this experience

  • @laurielaurain3781
    @laurielaurain3781 Před 10 měsíci +17

    You are an amazing person and your videos help people with all kinds of mental illnesses.❤️

  • @colorlessskittles5641
    @colorlessskittles5641 Před 10 měsíci +4

    This video is so authentic and your experience and Rob's are genuine and thank you both. How you feel is valid. Thank you for sharing everything you have, it does give so much insight that many are not willing or to afraid to share ❤