How travelling ruined my life.
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- čas přidán 21. 04. 2023
- In this video I share my story and journey about the downside of travel, depression, the reasons why we travel and how can we bring the magic from travelling into our everyday lives, even as a person living in one location. It's a follow on from this video: • The reason I stopped t...
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:) love you
😂 your traveling did help you find your peace within
😂 your traveling did help you find your peace within
You know one thing that's funny to me (I'm from Germany): Ireland is so cool and I found people extremely friendly there. More so than any other place I've been before. If anything, you got pretty lucky in the place you're from.
But I completely understand that it's difficult to see things that way from the inside.
Your diet is making you depressed.
Kurukahveci Mehmet Efendi?
travelling didn't ruin your life, it made you realise to change yourself, it made you realise that all problems are within yourself and not somewhere else..
Right one more period, I dare you
I want to experience this
Build something in a community...maybe family or kids then take people with you to travel...smell like happiness.
Thank you 🙏.. Your message and experience is enlightenment to follow what you wanted in life till you’ll find happiness
There’s no escape. It’s just right here, right now. You’re either here or your in your head. Spend less time in thought and more time embracing this beautiful moment in time
Nice one
Yes, and I would also add that happiness is found within. The more we search for it in things, places, people, or situations, the more miserable we will become.
And if going to other places change who you are, it means you don't really know who you are. You are just living different versions of it. Who you truly are will never change depending on where you are.
Beautifully said ❤️
What a beautiful way to put it out❤
You went traveling to find adventure, but ultimately found yourself. It all unfolded exactly as it was meant to.
Yes, probably after spending thousands of dollars. I think the real truth about travel should be told rather than just glamorizing it and build this perception that you can only find yourself if you travel. Travel is really overrated and expensive.
@@chethan1439so what is the truth?
Money? Yeah, thats what you need sometimes.
But you can still go without or with less Money
There's no such thing as 'finding yourself' -- just stupid people who don't have any common sense.
@@Milo-Mike the truth is to be content! It's that simple.
If you're around toxic people. Get the hell away from them. Moving to a distant location is one of the best things I've ever done.
No matter how far you travel you take you with you. Looked for a geographical cure for many years and finally discovered the problem was internal rather than external.
I feel much better with myself with people who have similar life values, than surrounded with people with very little in common.
Now people become super specialized and it's very hard to find a tribe on your tune.
thanks for sharing
Wherever you go, there you are. And people, in my humble opinion, are pretty much the same everywhere. Also landscapes.
Read the Proverba in the bible - they are advice to a young man but contain much wisdom.
Read patanjali yog sutra
My constant urge to travel to some mountain was greatly dissolved by just having a small garden in my house and revamping the rooms and spaces. Now every room in my home offers a different vibe. There is enough variety and I just love being here.
May be some others can relate.
Yess! I found great places nearby which I like a lot and which I think tourist that are coming to my town would like a lot. Dunno if it's the same in America (I believe it is, but i don't know, especially for the big cities), but where i am from (Croatia), we have beautiful nature all around us, we don't have to travel to other countries, not even to other cities, each city is very nice and has very nice places where you can be in nature.
thanks for sharing
@@monikap8777 beautiful rivers and forests in Croatia.
Also learning a new language is like getting a new life. Also making music.
Thank you for sharing your experience:).
I think travel is for self discovery rather than to kill boredom. You don’t have to travels 10,000 miles away to cure your curiosity. A lot of places are in our own hometown that we never care to visit just because it’s nearby.
I think what we really get bored of is our own perspective of life. Talking to people of all ages makes you see things differently.
I didn’t leave home till I was 33, i wasn’t as brave as you . I went abroad on a trip when I was 30 to Italy with some random girl who like me didn’t want to travel on her own, it turned out to be the trip from hell, we didn’t get on and she found someone else to go round with. I was left totally on my own, all I did was visited the sights and went home, I realised it wasn’t me, I didn’t like staying in cheap hostels and travelling with just my belongings in a bag. All it did was knock my confidence and mental health ( something that wasn’t the in thing in the 90s ) I was lost for years till I got my own place. I wanted a baby like a lot of woman with there biological clock ticking away and a man thrown in 😂, I got my wish and at 42 had my daughter, been with my husband nearly 26 years,still learning about being content with what I’ve got, but everything you say is right. I still moan but at 62 I’ve got less in front so am on my path of change
So lovely of you. Thanks
Well if you are an unhappy person you won’t happiness anywhere. You just start with yourself. Travelling is one of the best thing a human can do, it expands the mind, it destroys nationalism, breaks barriers and helps to understand other human beings and other ways to live… specially if you are from a wealthy western countrie.
None of my life-plans came to fruition after college. I existed and survived, but never found fulfillment. I'm older than you, but have no real plans, since I have no real future. The game of life is essentially over---and I have already lost. Thus, I sit, waiting for the clock to run out.
I’m so happy to hear you found time to build a family. Im 38 and the biological clock is ticking and it gets louder the closer I get to 40. So glad you had a baby at 42, it calmed me down 🎉 I do have a new escape plan coming in later in the fall. I feel if i mess up im done.
@@julian-multiman I agree to a certain level, but other people can destroy confidence. If you let them that is, I now realise all you say is somewhat true Thank you
There’s an old saying, ‘wherever you go, there you are’. Happiness has to come from within, you won’t find it externally.
❤
Yes you do.The environment shapes you you are and shapes your attitude to life.
@@thedrummerboy1215 only if you have an external locus of control. If you have an internal locus of control you shape your attitude to life, you don’t blame any external factor. One can choose to be a victim of their circumstances or environment or they can choose not to.
@@mmlv44633 Dont agree. If this was the case then why do so many sex offenders say they were abused as children? Of course your environment affects you. Live in a poor environment and your life extectancy goes down too. Try living in a council housing estate for ten years as see what happens to you.
@@thedrummerboy1215 sex offenders in fact most perpetrators of a crime like nothing more than to offload their responsibility for their behaviour by blaming something other than themselves, e.g. their environment. E,g. ‘It’s not my fault I am the way I am it’s because I was abused as a child, blame my abuser not me’.
I know the cycle, I traveled from country to country from age 20-30, and now here I am finally settled and happy in the city of my birth. You eventually realize that the garden of Eden is within.
Oh? What city?
we return most of the time to our ancestral place
Peacemaker. I felt the same, I travelled through the late 70s and 80s but missed my parents, got home and within 1 day I was depressed and sorry I ever came home. Everything was the same there and nothing changed. I realised I could spend my whole life moving from place to place. Now my parents are gone and I still feel like a gypsey although not as much, climate change has brought me to a place I hope will remain unscathed.
@@hereandthere6001 so u found it better to travel from place to place instead of being home with ur parents even though they died?
@@hereandthere6001 I admit, our Spirit needs change and growth to keep it strong. I guess I personally found ways to keep growing in my old environment. I remodeled our family home to start with:p
Travelling and discovering is what makes you feel alive. It opened my mind and life is short.
You cannot escape your issues. My problem with traveling is that after living (I'm from the US) in Europe, Mexico, Asia, and now in the Middle East is what I thought was so exotic before I went there, now seems so normal to me. So, that bit of excitement is gone, but I still love it.
"I travel for travel's sake. The great affair is to move."
"Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you (already) have."
You stole that line from Sheryl crows soak up the sun.
@@linusschmutz3985 Way before that song. Dale Carnegie. And even before that. This time-tested wisdom goes all the way back to the ancients.
Emotions and feelings can be directed and controlled. Travel is not ruining anyones life. If your motivation for doing anything is escape, you will be let down regardless of the method. I am American from Sacramento but have lived in Mexico, China and traveled and spent time in many places...not bragging. My motivation was not escape but exploration. Travel exposed me to so many things outside of my bubble and I feel blessed for it.
thanks for sharing!
I second that feeling, I travel a lot and it helped me growth, be smarter amd more wise. It has been a very positive experience for me.
I love this comment, thanks. I can relate, and you took the words right out of mouth 💯% spot on!!
Well said
I am from San Francisco currently left to move to bali! We should chat some more !
I've been to Jerusalem, Turkey, Saudi, and every state in America except Alaska and Hawaii. I'm not depressed, but I'm disappointed in seeing and experiencing that I haven't found a place where people genuinely enjoy life and each other without the drama.
Try Thailand ;)
You went to the wrong places lol, go to Latin America or South East Asia for that
try cuba
Try your home
I love what you said: "If I go across the sea to a different country where nobody knows me, then all of a sudden I can be a different version of myself. That is where true freedom lies." I have felt a distinct loss of identity after losing both of my beautiful sisters. My oldest in 2017 and my youngest sister in 2022. I feel I want to travel so I can discover who I am without them and grow into my true authentic self. Like you said discover where I fit in this world. Now.
sorry to hear of your losses
The best thing about travel is the people you meet. be open and kind and you will be amazed and will come home with lots of happy memories.
Travelling is a lot of fun. But it's not an escape from problems that are rooted in some other part of your life. For example, not having a family or loved ones creates a void in life that can never be filled by travelling.
having a family is overrated
Sometimes friends can become family like. Soul sisters, aren't always biological per se.
I completely disagree . I have no parents, and I was in the care system. I had issues due to my upbringing as a coping mechanism I used to drink.....etc. You can guess my life was out of control. Over a period of time, I healed and no longer drank....etc (been sober for over 6yrs) Now I live for travelling and always go abroad just before Christmas. I'll go away for 1 - 3 months. I am completely happy and content within myself, but if you take away travelling from me, then I have absolutely nothing to live for. It's not a void for me to fill in it's a type of therapy and relief. It's enjoying, thrilling, and fun. To meet other solo travellers for spontaneous adventures and explore the natural world.
I don’t agree, families are temporary. You came alone and will die alone. Lots of people have family and still feel alone, it’s just a cover up. we just don’t know how to be happy alone , we were raised that you need someone to be happy , family to not feel empty and that’s nonsense.
@@jenamaste131 As a 30y old without knowing my father and constantly absent "mother" that never took time to love her child..... I realized i didn't know what love means until 25 when i was with a girl... i had severe drug adddiction. At 28 the facade i built over the years crumbled when i realised what happened... the empty void that I'm afraid can only be closed by a plug lost 28 y ago...
You can be grateful for having at least one sane parent.
I still have problems with s. abuse, other social skill problems
Hes not talking to you , he's talking to himself. Comforting himself , reassuring himself and that's ok.
Yes, not everyone is going to be in his situation. He is struggling with several issues, but the message is very relatable to many people. So, your statement as it is constructed is false.
@@michaelvalentino2349 Thats ok Mick , thats ok
What a very refreshing & vulnerable conversation to be had. Travel influencers need to watch this. More people should be having such discussions
thank you for the comment
This really resonates with me. I spent the whole year last year just travelling was so miserable doing it. I’ve finally settled down with a 9-5 and i’m still tempted to pack and fly somewhere else. It’s really a temporary relief and came to the realization that I was running away from my problems. I love your honesty 🥰
Come to rural Africa....you will be so immersed you will forget all your problems.
@@user-qu8sj3oj6p I moved from east Africa 10 years ago . I daydream about living in the village my parents grew up in. Just a simple life , living off of the earth. Left my country to get education and return but there is a civil war. You get money in the west but you still drive into your garage without saying hi to your neighbours.The lack of social life and loss of my culture is what I struggle with the most. God willing , I will go when things are right.
Thanks for writing this, I thought something was wrong with me by being so miserable while traveling
If you live on a council estate surrounded by wronguns and then you decide to move to Bali... Trust me you will find peace. I think this situation is unique for you and will resonate with some people, but for most getting away from a toxic environment to somewhere beautiful with beautiful people is going to create immense happiness.
I agree. It really depends on whether you are looking for yourself and in that case, travelling won't change a thing and you will eventually find that it was in you -- there was nothing wrong with home, but if you are making a sprint from hell to beautiful and kind, hey, no contest !!!
The problem is that Bali and other versions of paradise are only temporary true paradise lies within. 😎🌹☺️🙏
@@barrymccamley5986 it doesn't matter how much paradise you have within if you live on a shitty estate full of road men and scumbags. But also if you have struggles within then yes a beautiful location will not necessarily help.
@@karlmuller1976
At some stage you are going to have to leave your paradise and go back to your housing estate and deal with the situation. 😎☺️🙏
Daily reminder that you can claim benefits and physically be away from the UK 😂
I love travelling because I love meeting new people, being solo and really getting comfortable with myself being alone and with only other strangers not family or friends.
It has given me so much inner confidence and awe at this awesome planet and the people with in it.
In the end the choice is find a way to continue travelling or find a way to create the things you want and like about travelling at home.
For me that could mean being in a relationship with an awesome foreign gf, volunteer work at home, working on a career I can do at home but gives the flexibility to work abroad, hiking awesome mountains.
Relate fully to the identity aspect when travelling solo. It’s good to bring that mindset home.
I’m a 27 year old woman travelling the world with my 5 year old daughter. Couldn’t be happier, from making fashion content on the streets of Paris to swimming with in a blue ocean in the Pacific. Life is good and I can worry anywhere in the world with my laptop. Love it.
I didn't even know that there is such a thing as believing that traveling will make you happy. I mean, I've seen a lot of people saying that you have to travel while you are young, and I travel whenever I can, I like to travel and see new things, get to know new people, but it never crossed my mind that traveling shall give my life a purpose. I have my purpose no matter where I am.
so happy to hear this
I believe you can travel anytime it calls you to do so ,not everyone has the calling or funds in there 20s to do loads of travel.
I travelled all my life and still love it and will continue to do so in my 50s when im able to ❤
@@sharajackson2129 I believe you can, but it is much harder when you get a job (its sometimes hard to get free days), start a family (because now you and your husband need to have vacation at the same time) and especially with children (it gets very expensive and you can not go sightseeing that easily)
What is your purpose if you don't mind sharing?
@@yass912 I haven't thought about how to define it exactly, but it would be something along the lines of: stay alive, get close to God, help others who want to get close to God of I am called to do it, minimise suffering of myself and others
It took me a while to realise that the attraction of travel is, in fact, the travel. To be brief: I was once convinced I could only find personal fulfilment living permanently abroad (in my case in SE Asia (anywhere in SE Asia)). After a while of doing that I began to feel distinctly unfulfilled, then undeniably homesick. It took maybe 10 years or more for me to realise that these beautiful places are best enjoyed as temporary pleasures - as vacations. It's good to have some permanence in your life, to be rooted somewhere. The rest of the world will wait for you, and its promise offers something tangible for the heart to yearn for and for the mind to look forward visiting. But visiting, not staying. That's important.
I’ve definitely learned that while you’re traveling you discover the kind of traveler you are. I hate vacations and temporary stays. I always wanted more when I planned trips no more than two weeks. After having the expat experience I loved it so much more. I lived in Japan, Germany and Iceland for a year each and cherished every moment. Thailand is next on my list for 2024 and I’m crazy excited. I’m never home sick and I just have a burst of wanderlust when I step into a new country. My friends and family think I’m missing out on life by not marrying or having kids or a home, but I beg to differ. My adventures have fulfilled me more than a family Christmas dinner, baby shower or wedding. I enjoy learning new languages, discovering new flavors in food, understanding cultural customs and the overall diversity of the world. There are certainly cons and challenges that I could do without, but it honestly doesn’t outweigh the pros. At least for me I’ve never been bored with traveling and I believe it’s my eagerness to learn about the world and having an open mind. It’s important to have a home base and be rooted as you stated, but I love that I can create a home anywhere I go.
@@karzymimi42 - I hear you, and I agree with your sentiments. I just didn't know that I was more in love with the idea of living abroad than the actuality of doing so. Turned out, for me, that traveling and vacationing was a much better fit for me than living permanently away from home.
@@philipford6183 Perspective! I’ve met lots of travelers throughout my time abroad that only wanted pictures and stamps. The idea of traveling is different than actual traveling. I wish there was more of a balance on the complexities of traveling. I’ve backpacked for trips, but would never make it a lifestyle. Sometimes I do hostels, CouchSurf, other times hotels if the money is right. Unless you have loads of money to blow you’ll have to penny pinch or save up for a specific adventure. Only if you’re open minded and willing to sacrifice some comfortability then you’ll enjoy the experience. However most people I found aren’t interested in getting down and dirty, they’re stuck in fantasy. Glad you found what works best for you. All the best!
Not being an adult + inexperience + financially broke and having a poor (boring) mindset will make anyone anywhere depressed.
Glad you found your peace brother
thanks Tony
I’ve put off travelling for YEARS because I was abundantly aware that I would still be me and still be depressed but just with no support network around me. I instead have spent the last 7 years working on my mental health, getting therapy and building a support network around the world through penpalling. I’m now at the point where I am finally planning a working holiday to Australia and I feel so good about it. I’m a long way from being where I want to be mentally, but I have the tools to make it work. Thank you for sharing your story. I’m glad you finally found your home 😊
I wish you a wonderful journey in Australia! thank you for sharing :)
Finally someone who is real! Most people wont admit what you said in this video. Cant wait to see this channel blow up.
aw thanks
As someone who’s currently in the process of moving home because I left impulsively and unprepared because I thought it would “fix me” … this made me feel so much better about my choice. Thank you so much for this video! Super relatable.
Same!
"You do not need to go anywhere"... However, you did need to go elsewhere to say what you finnaly said. We are all space travelers. Much love and respect from Poland.
totally agree with this sentiment, sending you gratitude and blessings
Its a real privilege to travel to the places youve been. Billions have never had or could never afford to travel. Ive only traveled twice outside Canada and the journey was always a lesson to me. If I could afford to travel yearly I would.Good lyck mate!
He is and it's nice but that doesn't mean he automatically will feel better about it. Not how emotions work unfortunately
Thank you so much for sharing this! I can definitely relate as I have quite a similar story. For years I used to use travel to escape my depression until on one of my Winter escapes my depression only got worse. It was then that I realized the issue is deeper than any location switch could change/fix. That made me work on myself for the first time in my life and start therapy.
I just returned from a 3-month trip to Colombia that also reinforced what I already was feeling and wishing for - to settle down somewhere close to my hometown because I discovered it wasn`t so much the new and exciting locations I was craving but a connection with nature and people I love (after living alone in a city for a long time)... Sometimes the cure is right in front of our nose
glad you appreciated it and thank you for sharing your story :)
This was what I found. I loved the journeying, but eventually found depression and boredom living in Paradise on a Mexican Caribbean blue clearwater beach. Had a heartbreak relationship and come back home. I got to work. Finished writing a book. Wrote and am now recording a dance song tribute to my city Chicago. Took a long walk on a gorgeous day by the Lake, which I live five minutes from. Sketched out the first scene of a play I,:be always had idea for. I finally realized that I'm the event I've been looking for. Opportunities are golden now. So was I. I just needed to go away to figure that out.
@@giftedsun well done!
Very truth, I also can relate. I would travel but nothing seen exciting for me, it was ok to meet other people, culture but no matter where you you will have your ups and down. The new will become old soon or later. The exciting not so exciting. I now looking for somewhere near but close to nature , peaceful. It’s not where you go or live but it’s what you make of what you have.
Traveling gives you seeing things in different perspective, outsiders always see chances while insiders don't.
agreed
Thank you for making this video. I find so many creators sharing only the highlight reels of travel when there's lots of downsides too. I find travel is usually worth it but it can be tough. Dealing with health issues or bad weather or a place not meeting your expectations is hard. The mental health and internal thing is huge too. If you're already in a bad mental space, travel will not cure that long term, only temporarily. Travel has become so glamourized. I definitely have some work to do on this front and I'm glad you made this because I feel less alone.
Thanks for sharing: my experiences have been very similar. Once, in a moment of profound depression on an idyllic Tasmanian beach, I found myself thinking: hell can look beautiful. Later that week, luck sent me a sage in the form of a homeless lady who, seeing my misery, sat and listened to my problems though she plainly had many more than I to contend with.
"Wherever you go, that's where you are", she observed, correctly. Her compassion, for which I will always be deeply grateful, marked the beginnings of my recovery. I enjoyed my travels, but no longer need to be elsewhere to find happiness...
You cannot escape yourself. Our mindset goes with us wherever we go but you can change your travel approach and lay foundations.
I always feel this way- needing to move because where I am is not where I want to be but you take your vibration with you. Different places, different people but same old, same old
At 20, I had to work. I didn’t have money to travel the world. I never really knew what I was missing. I’m 48 and just went to Rome from the US. It was fun, but I’m fine being back home. Rome is extremely expensive.
And dirty as I recall. You didn't get a chance to skirt on over to Florence?
@@Timithos Naples and Pompei were the only other places besides Rome.
Where i us you live that rome is expensive? I might need to come to usa😀
I travelled for 4 years just to realize I was so depressed wherever I was (even in places like Polynesia, ...).
I got back home to deal with the inner problems (mainly about fear, anger, negative views of myself).
Now I travel again, with another state of mind, enjoying the simple pleasures of life, finally happy with myself.
Your life is a big trip by itself
I found my peace and purpose after depression too. It turned out to be teaching yoga to those in need. What a foreign feeling fulfillment was when it came. And it was so clearly good. Happy days to you!
thank you for sharing!
Funny, I went to Ireland with exact expectations - be the version I wanted to be in my homeland Latvia, and I achieved that, for some reason, I can relate to Irish people more than Latvians, how positive and kindhearted they are. Every time I am visiting my home, I am taking with me the person I became , the mind and heart wisdom I acquired in Ireland. And I am most thankful for this opportunity to shine in the way I want, and being celebrated by it, not only tolerated
Yes, or this happens 😅
I am also living in Ireland, because people here are just awesome! 😅
That’s awesome! I’m from Las Vegas, NV and I’ve always wanted to visit Ireland 😎
Italy was this for me. When I was there, it felt like a homecoming. It filled my soul and now I just aim to always head back. Flying “back home” to Italy for a week in end of July and my skin itches for the day to arrive
I lived in Dublin for 6 months and hated life. I lived in Zwolle Netherlands and absolutely loved and still love it. Now I'm in my homeland and might move to the Netherlands.. Where in Ireland are you and what makes it liveworthy for you? In all hoensty for me, the experience was that I never want to set foot in Ireland again.
@@343mustbestopped2Ireland is much more than Dublin. Dublin isn't really authentic Ireland at all. Go to the west or any small village and get to know the locals.
The BEST video ever!!! It popped into my suggestions out of nowhere and I am SO VERY HAPPY that I clicked on it! I am crying happy tears in here! This is exactly how I have been thinking about traveling. And I always wanted to let other people become aware of this...and here you are, doing so brilliantly with the subject!
And yes, I was feeling a litte crappy this morning and this brought me so much contentment and peace. I am where I should be an all is well. That is the feeling what I got from your video. And that is a mighty feeling!
Everybody should see this video! As it also helps many to realise the reason for their own lives. And create the life that they desire!
Have a fantastic day!!! 🥰😄😄😄
Just wanted to chime in to say i loved the video man! I've had a lot of the same feelings inside, and I feel I can relate so much. I appreciate the effort in reflecting and being transparent about it. And never allowing yourself to deflect the blame on everything and everyone else. Much respect brother🙏
Traveling is great every once in a while. It gives you a break from your routine. You learn new things and makes you see the “the real thing”, if you like studying world geography and world history. After a short travel, I do need another break, because traveling is physically exhausting (the good type of exhausting; not the job related exhausting). I’ve never understood these people who travel “to find themselves and discover themselves” as if life is complex or mysterious. Life is really not that complex or complicated to figure out.
I "found myself" traveling because I had to get out of who my culture told me to be based on my looks to meet new parts of me. Challenge myself outside of the norm, learn how to eat different/think different/etc to see what really fit for me. Gathering experiential information about how to be human outside of the one idea presented in the culture i was born in and curate myself into someone that feels alive.
Sometimes people are stuck in a role they are playing based on the expectations of others around them. Parents, friends, religion, school etc. People can become free from the cage that others have build around them by traveling
@@camiell1094 Indeed, that was what I encountered after my first marriage. Going abroad. Liberated from the role I was playing and didn´t fit me.
It’s about finding a better backdrop to enjoy my 24-7
“Life is really not that complex or complicated to figure out”? Really? The millions of unhappy people who have spent their lives trying to figure life out and find peace, contentment, fulfillment, etc. strongly disagree. At 65 I never remember being happy or fulfilled or excited to get up and face the day for appreciable length of time. If you have it all figured out let the rest of us in on the secret, would you please?
What a great explanation of a mostly untold side of traveling. For me, traveling represents endless possibilities. An endless stream of novelty of nature, people, cultures etc., which stands as a sharp contrast to everyday life, which is a reflection of our unique choices in life. This is the paradox of life - we choose a path that seems the best for us, but when we are choosing our unique path, we are also choosing to deselect a vast number of alternative options. Going abroad and expanding your horizon is something you really should be doing, because it is enriching, but it can quickly become an addiction. Not just escapism, but also the urge to be present in every scenario, every place on earth, every time, being part of all of the untold stories which has ever found place or is about to happen. What a wonderful world...
thanks for sharing
Fantastic comment
I really glad you made this video. I grew up in a small beautiful small community and it always struck me as absurd that the only people who didn't like the place and wanted to "get away" were either teenagers or people like yourself who wanted "to become someone else" or escape familiarity. I have watched generation after generation of my students leave and return to this place after falsely believing life in the big city/Europe/The Wilderness would somehow change them. So many people cling to the idea that if I could just get out of this town, or just lose some weight, or just get a better job I would be so happy only to arrive at the destination more depressed in the realization that that was only a small portion of what was making them unhappy. Travel is advertised more and more as a path towards happiness and you were privileged enough to learn firsthand that most of our problems are our own and instead of blaming your environment and you actually had the guts to own up to being wrong.
My ex gf was a traveller, she got stuck in Peru while in pandemic and we met there. It was great until she started falling in a loop of not knowing what to do and me trying to helplessly help her. Then we moved to her birth country, she felt great again, and depressed all over again and the wanderlust came back. Unfortunately at that state of mind is hard to have a relationship. Now I cannot go back to Peru for visa restrictions and this is not my country but I am in this process of finding myself alone here and accepting things the way they are. I do not hope we get back together just wanna find my own mental peace.
thank you for sharing... I hear you. wishing you well on your path my friend
I just typed in "traveling is overrated" on YT and your other video about traveling popped up, so I watched it and now I've just watched this one. I can relate so much! Thanks for making such great content, can't wait to watch more! :)
ha! nice one. thanks :)
Same, it feels like i have to force myself ti travel
I look at travel as just one part of a fulfilling life. Obviously not applicable to everyone but to me it's just a small part of my life. By far the most important aspect of a happy life is the relationships we have with others. Whether that be a partner, friends, children, etc. I'd rather live in a boring place but have good relationships than an "exciting" city but not have any fulfilling relationships.
I feel that too. Even as a recluse. I'm really thankful for the select people I enjoy spending time with. I'm also good with entertaining myself more in my own environment.
Big facts. True happiness comes from fulfilling relationships.
I think for me it is really about finding a climate that supports what I want out of life. When the sun is shining and it is warm out, I find that not much gets me down in life. I can just sit somewhere with a good book and feel truly happy, whatever else is going on my life. I can read the book anywhere on earth, but I cannot do it in the sunshine and warmth everywhere.
Love this. The truth is things sometimes are better or worse than we expected! Who knows someday something you’ll think is boring or not worthwhile may end up being so special ❤
This is really refreshing. It takes balls to get on here and really open up to the world about these intrinsic human experiences we all must encounter. I like this channel , and your perspective on life.
thanks bud!
Im from Norway. Everyone sees my country as a lucky place to be born. I never felt that way. I grew up in a moonshine production house with drug use and fighting, and ive had struggles with infections in my teeth since 16 years old, never learned how to eat good, how to take care of myself, and i found myself selling illegal subtances, not caring about my own well beeing, beeing caught up in everything, never have time to breathe, and i grew addicted to an actionful life.
When my mother quit drugs a few years ago, and my dad passed away, i stopped. Ive had a few setbacks, but all in all im growing and im diciplined enough to try every day.
I feel this overwhelming depression over me, every secound every day. I dream about traveling all over south east asia, south asia, latin-america, africa, feeling like nothing can give me happyness or purpose but. But after listening to this, i feel just more lost, but i will try to travel once..
Hi~ Thank you for posting this. I have felt SO SIMILARLY to everything you've spoken about. Im happy to know im not alone in that feelings and the reassurance that I am the problem, not everything else. Thank you.
aw thanks Kait keep doing you
What a quality video. You put words to many unspoken thoughts and feelings we all have. Everywhere I go, there I am.
Everywhere you go that’s where you are ;)
I can relate; some people travel all over the world to find the perfect place where they will be happy, but we must cultivate happiness within us. If we can't be happy at home, in the long run we probably won't be happy anywhere else.
Being present is so important. Making the most of what you have today rather than chasing goals all the time is where happiness starts to occur. I think sometimes we all get caught up thinking if we did this, had a new job, a new city, new friends, new hobbies, life would be better. But when you get that goal, you eventually realize you'll get bored again and find a new "thing" to chase. Grass isn't always greener on the other side. It's just greener on the side you water it.
Thank you for saying this. “I love to travel and be adventurous” is often code for “I don’t know what’s missing inside”. I’m happy you are finding you 💕
I love to travel. Did a lot of it with my family as a kid and later with my girl guide group. After I moved out, I started travelling alone. It was great for a while, but one day right before the pandemic I found myself in a forest in full autumn glory. It's beauty filled me with a deep feeling of awe and amazement, like other sights had over the years. Then I realised that there was no one there with me to share it with. My family was difficult, so being alone felt better at first. I have not travelled alone since then, partly due to the pandemic, but also because I don't see the point anymore. It took the lockdowns and being 'trapped' with the same people for years to come to terms with everyday 'boring' life and the mundane. Turns out it wasn't the environment, but my own, then stoned brain. I was the boring and mundane one and travelling was just another addiction, an attempt to outrun myself.
I have started to travel to actually visit the friends I made along the way and it has been way more fulfilling, even though it's pretty much always the same few places. I also moved back to my hometown after 6 years of euphoric ups and devastating downs in the community I lived in and now feel like I have finally found the meaning of home. As a bonus, I now get to explore how my city has changed during my absence!
I wish I could describe with words how you made me feel... “Truth is not something outside to be discovered, it is something inside to be realized.” - Osho
In the words of Dorothy from the "Wizard Of Oz" "if I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own backyard; because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with."
I was also thinking of Dorothy saying "there's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home" when he was describing being homesick.
That is very brave of you for making this video and telling your story. I am happy for you that you had the strengh to change your life and make yourself happy.
Thomas Jefferson said that traveling makes a man wiser, but less happy. I'm extremely grateful for what I got to do - 53 countries and 50 states so far - and with so many trips to SE Asia I'm looking at retiring there (especially if the U.S. alternative is never to retire). Especially instructive was seeing how many expenses were much less or just went away in other places. It can help if you're an introvert who notices a lot of stuff. OTOH, I'll agree inasmuch as if the real problem is inside it won't fix that.
thank you for your share
I found the same thing - however I feel I overcame it during a 6month trip in Asia that I had. I realised its not where you are, its what you do where you are. Like anywhere finding what this place offers and using what you have. If the place has good beaches, explore the beaches. It's being present and noticing what opportunities are around you. Surfing is a good example. When you surf it becomes about finding the best waves, looking at the tides and getting on the water. Maybe you start at a surf school that you've heard about, and then one thing leads to another. You naturally meet people in that community. By the end of my trip I was in what felt like paradise with amazing people. Paradise is in the eye of the beholder. I met other people who were miserable in the same place that I was. I think it comes down to a perspective shift and your personal journey and experiences. What is the universe trying to teach you ? What does this place have to offer and how can I make the best of it? Letting go of my ideas of how it should be (expectations) and discovering what the real place really has (presence/ learning). In the end I think my depression came from an unwillingness to explore / learn, and the place only provides a different set of its unique opportunities. I like to think of it like this at the moment, but that might change - I don't know..
Happy for You. Well made video I know some of the places you showed.
I was suffering from a deadly depression for over 20 year I know no matter where I went it didn't help much. If any one else reads this comment and just can't get free from depression.
Be paitent and trust that it is possible to get free from this no matter how imposible it may seem. This is what helped me:
Longer walks in nature. Realization that I am not my thoughts and feelings. That I can actually choose how I want to feel about anything that is going on within me or around me.
I feel happy or I feel sad is just a thought pick the one you enjoy more. When nothing is working just know This too shall pass.
With Love ❤ from SLOVEnia.
Working with a naturopathic doctor can help too. Sometimes depression can be relieved with a change of diet, sunlight, exercise etc.
it’s worth a try.
Many years ago I used to hate the place I was in and blamed it for my frustrations too. However, not to the extent of what you went through. I still don’t love the place I’m in, but I know that it is not the problem. Luckily, I’ve been able to travel and live new experiences, but I’m aware that it’s not about the place you’re in, but the people that are around you.
I found similar lessons with my travelling. The first trip blew me right open to new experiences, a new way of living and new lessons, then by trip three or four I found I was just collecting stamps on my passport and there was still an emptiness; I wasn’t doing the true inside work.
The end of my last trip was in 2019, about six or eight months before Covid blew up, and when it did blow up, I said to myself, “I’m going to come out of this better than how I went in.”
And I did, I learnt about finances, started learning different languages, read a huge amount of books, gave up drinking completely. I’m nowhere near where I would like to be, but I’m headed in the right direction. I feel like I’m ready to start travelling again, so from January through to September, I’ll be travelling through Eastern Europe, and I had to find a way to travel without drinking, so after reading Cam Hanes and David Goggins books, I decided to run some trail runs, nothing crazy, all three will be between 45 and 78km, but it will be a bigger challenge than anything I’ve ever faced before. I’m kinda nervous, but pumped at the same time.
As an aside, in that time I also went from hating my hometown and dreaming of an escape to having a much more peaceful existence here and dreaming of buying a place to grow my roots in, close enough to my family to see them regularly, but far enough away to be my own man.
Just curious How do you manage to finance your travels? Do you work? Do you have a family?
@@angryturtle777 I work away from home in mining and heavy industrial construction. It can be a lonely life, I miss a lot of special occasions with family and friends, but I make pretty decent money with the flexibility to work as much or as little as I want.
Don't miss out on Romania. It's a beautiful and varied country.
@@angryturtle777 I won’t have time on this trip. I’ll be mostly spending time in the southern Balkans; Bulgaria, Macedonia, Albania, Montenegro, and then I’ll scoot up the coast to Slovenia before I run out of time.
Dam David great reflection of oneself, most people spend their whole lives trying to resolve their inner problems, only to have 70-80 years fly by and retired while held back with challenging health problems. Its good to know youve figured it out, congrats and i wish you well, Good for you man, keep going.
I have the exact same problem and social media - especially Instagram with the annoying travelgram influencers don't help. It was almost ironic seeing the footage of my home country in this video. I'm so happy I came across this. Thank you for your perspective, much needed.
blessings
My man this was SUCH a perfect message that I think i needed to hear, and you explained it in a way that definitely resonated with me. I just moved to Colorado after living in Arizona for 29 years, with one of my reasons being seeking something similar to what you were. Definitely going to some introspection on this. Thanks for the video 🙏
Wow, this hit deep! Resonates perfectly with what I'm experiencing now after 7 years of travel (with study in the middle). I'm just so disconnected from everything, indifferent. But it's hard to stop! There's always the next awesome place or event I have in mind. It's hard to turn around and go back... Thanks for this video, helps me process what's going on in my life.
This video will probably blow up
To quote you: “good god thank you algorithm” ❤
It already is 🚀
This is truly inspiring!!! I am currently in the same stage as you, where I ran away from China and came to attend universities in the U.S. and then transferred colleges from East to West because I didn't feel this was what I wanted(bad weather, school being in the wood), and after a successful transfer, I still didn't feel happy. And I was looking for a travel plan to Europe this summer on CZcams until I found this video then I realized I am the reason that I'm not happy at all. Anyway, thank you for this great video!
thank you for sharing!
I’ve literally just moved back to the UK after living abroad for 5 years. This video is exactly what I needed to hear this morning. Thank you!
I feel ya, wishing you well on your integration and next phase :)
Feels so good to hear you put into words exactly how I've felt whole living abroad for so long. I went through the same cycle of emotions. Well said and well done coming to your conclusions through introspection.
Thanks for creating this. I felt the same way for many years and thought the answer was to escape my boring and depressed reality and moving/finding a partner. But reality is that you must work on yourself or else no matter where you go or who you meet, you'll still be the same person inside.
I agree that's it's all about you and not the external trappings, although I think it's futile for most people to try to change. Instead just accept yourself. Accept that you're a "miserable and boring" person. I'm not kidding. All that means is that you'll reject society's image of what it means to be miserable and boring. Because it's society's fault that you think that way. You've been saturated with videos, music, books, etc, that tell you want you should be doing in order to be happy and interesting. But much of it is lies and even if it's not, it's all subjective. What's interesting for one person is not for another. You'll actually find some peace when you understand and accept this truth, and crazy enough, it might make you a bit more interesting (by your own true standards) and optimistic, even. Trying to go against your natural personality and "push yourself" to be "less boring" is what will deepen your misery every time. You'll be letting society get you down, internalizing the lies you've been told and trying to attain some unattainable version of yourself. You will only be successful in doing something interesting if you genuinely want to do it. Simply pushing yourself because you want to "change yourself" into some image that society has broadcast to you as the "ideal" is never going to work.
Goddamn this sounds exactly like my story, and I'm at the tail end of it. I've spent my 20s trying to desperately find this magical land where I'll find the people I fit in with, and the woman of my dreams because I always felt out of place in my family's home land, and what I learned is that, while there are other great places to live, my home will always be my home, and already has almost everything that I could want.
That and California is 100x worse.
I think it's time to build a good life for me and for/with my family, and bring the world to me instead of chasing the world.
thank you for sharing
@@thedavidboland California is 100x worse than what? lol. Kind of a ridiculous statement. Are you a Republican?
This is such a situational subject because different people are going to have different outcomes. I’ll be forever grateful that I traveled and had so many experiences. It was a hurdle overcome just to realize I could travel. That breaks you free. If you’re lonely at home, you will be lonely anywhere. The thing travel does is bring new perspectives and ideas. If you can’t make friends at home so you’re not going to make them anywhere else. Sometimes home is the best place to be in the end. But you have all of those memories which is something you don’t want to sit around without in your old age.
I learned this without physically traveling but using psychedelic compounds. I’m now much happier in life where I am because I am there ;)
Awesome video! Moved to my dream country a year ago and while it did raise my mood all the internal struggles I had from back home came with me. As if by changing our external environment we thought it'd fix what was all along an internal issue.
I find that having concrete and realistic long term goals helps me deal with my current situation. However, I do find myself becoming lonely and depressed when I travel. I'm fine at home, but I get this urge to travel once in a while but then I resort to alcohol to pass the time. I also have a strong desire to find someone and have a LTR, but I feel more comfortable being by myself. I'm quite the introvert, but I love kids and want to have them in the near future. I'm 43 and feel it needs to happen soon.
thanks for sharing
Thailand
I am Daniel form suiss, come with me in 3 months to the philippines.
Traveling today is not what it used to be! Family ties were close, people travelled together, came back to their routine...it was really nice. But too much freedom of having so many places to travel can have it's downs...
Thanks for this video! It really resonates with so many of us and we never thought of putting it out there...
Indeed, particularly the mobile phone and 4g has radically transformed travel. It takes a lot of courage and energy to interact with people you don't know, often it goes wrong, if there's any excuse to avoid it it's no wonder people choose to do so. But a lot has been lost.
I relate to this so much. From 21-26 I was addicted to travel. Caught up in a cycle of living at home doing temp jobs and travelling. I lived for travel. But wherever I went, I was always miserable and anxious. I realised i was running away from my problems. When I started my healing journey, my desire to travel got less and less and now I'm perfectly okay with never going to an airport again.
Yes this does resonate 💯, I realized this in my 40s, don’t get me wrong life is a struggle, but it doesn’t have to be a losing battle in my mind.
This was my story. Filed bankruptcy at like 26 and started driving now I’m 33 in Birmingham working on the foundation. Thank you for this.
Are you Jay Scott the singer?
@@JD-eq8bc I actually am bro
@@juswolf22 I actually am sis, bro
@@JD-eq8bc my bad what’s some of your fav songs of mine?
@@juswolf22 which JS are you?
This is really moving. Going through a bit of a rough patch atm, second year uni exams and some solo interrail coming up in the summer. I'm not sure what to expect. It's good to know that not being certain of who I am, what my purpose is and what I want in life isn't a solitary experience. Subscribed :)
sending you blessings for the journey ahead my friend :)
The people who encourage me to travel the most because they travel often, are usualy the people who are most unhappy with their lives and escape from tough decisions.
“Traveling ruined my life” - very privileged statement.
Wow, very insightful, I’m living in Los Angeles and that is my thoughts living this city, probably finding peace in other small city but your speech is on time “there is no person, there is no place to find peace that is within”. Thanks
thanks for sharing
You definitely need to get out of California at least temporarily to gain a perspective. Pick a place where you won't run into similar people though.
I always liked that one saying, Wherever you go, there you are. I interpret it to mean that it doesnt matter where we’re at, what we have, what we experience, who we’re with, we’re always going to have to live with ourselves.
‘It is not a change of air that you need but a change of character.’ ~Seneca~
Thank you for sharing. I had similar reflections. but you know what? Once I understood all this, I started traveling without expecting to find anything, just to rest, meet people and places. We just have the urge to explore and this is okay.
Thanks for sharing. Never really felt very drawn to travelling and wondered if there was something wrong with me as many people around me always love to talk about their latest holiday. Meditation, yoga, working out and reading provide me with a lot of peace and contentment. I am not averse to it though and do have a few places I would like to visit in the future when financial circumstances permit mainly because I live in the UK and the lack of sun drives me nuts so need to find an eventual retirement place with plenty of sunshine!
We can't run forever. "It" eventually catches up to us. We just prolong facing the things in our minds. The change in scenery helps at times, but one day we have to face what is bothering us and hopefully find what makes us happy no matter what location we choose to be in or what we have or don't have! Sending love and light💫Safe travels!🙂💞
Managing both worlds "home & travel" is the biggest challenge. It is inside of everyone and it is the ultimate way to find.
You can run away from a lot of things in life, but you can’t run away from yourself. The key to happiness is to understand and accept who you are - Bruce Lee.
Probably.
Traveling alone can be tough. Also I notice a lot of your phrasing is "me" focused, i.e. internally. Focusing externally on helping others and engaging in activities and projects that bring a sense of purpose and fulfilment can be a good strategy to beating depression. Also professional therapy is an amazing way for everyone to better learn about ourselves and overcome mental health issues.
We all searching for that euphoric moment that lasts a lifetime. That’s why many believe in a heaven.
Oh I so get what you are saying. I travelled a great deal of the world between the age of 20 to 26. I travelled female, solo and I've never felt so lost and lonely in my life those years shaped the person I became, depressed, sad, functioning alcoholic. But just utterly lost my way. I'm 54 now and I feel grateful I had some experiences but I became so introverted and many memories I just want to forget. Life just seems to get harder and scarier by the day. I just long for some peace and space. Good luck everyone, hope you find your place in this world.. 🍀 New subscriber for sure 🌹