How The Covert Narcissist Will Sabotage Your Life
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- čas přidán 12. 10. 2022
- How the covert narcissist will sabotage your life. This video will explain some of the differences and nuances of the covert narcissist...how you can identify them...and how to deal with them.
DISCALIMER --- I am not a licensed therapist, and I don't have any professional credentials as a counselor. I am just a guy that has been a victim of narcissists, and I have witness other people being victimized. I created this channel to share my experiences, and shed some light on narcissism.
Absolutely. Only an experienced target gets it. My narc brother is a shy, mild mannered, timid mouse in public. Behind closed doors he is a raging maniac who brilliantly plotted schemes to steal my sanity. I am 5 months nc now. No one can understand how I am the one so mean to my poor little thing brother. I dont care if i loose my entire family over this. I want that sob out of my life for good and i want to heal from this.
Seems as though we are living a similar life, Richard. Stay strong...and God Speed!
@@breakingthenarccode absolutely. We have all had a taste of the same hell. God bless you for taking your pain and using it so that we can all be healed and "break the narc code."
@@Richard-vq7ud Thanks Richard! I will keep fighting the good fight...you do the same!
I had to walk away from my little sister and her 5 kids and all her grandkids b/c she infected them with all her b.s. about me; my family are world class gossips aka flying monkeys. Good riddance!
It’s behind closed doors they do their best work. I’ve been NC with both my brother/sister because of it and sadly had to add my mother. After I would talk with her I was hyper anxious and this would last for days. I finally said no more and added her to my list.
Spot on. He was definitely a covert. Definitely. Can they be malignant and covert? He was vindictive, jealous, envious and just so much more. Mean, cruel. Mostly Quietly and sometimes openly
An 'Covert' narc is the sneaky one i think in emotional sense these are the most dangerous.. they weaponize empathy act vunerable witch in fact they are.. but its a manipulation tactic to sucker out your energy, money, attention you start to feel sorry but that's when your guard is down. An 'Overt' narc you will know more easily because the grandiosity shows more they tend to put people down in public to raise their self esteem sometimes becoming enraged even stronger than the covert who goes to do passive agressive tactics like the silent treatment, gaslighting more.. the overt can become 'malignant' or are malignant its more visible the Covert will win your trust and than snake bite you
Hope that explains
I read somewhere that narcs put you down to family and friends even in the beginning because If they see you are getting attention for being a good person and a light in their life by other people this makes you out to be “better” than them and they get jealous and must devalue you to others. When I would meet his “friends” (he didn’t have any deep or longevity friends) they seemed to “love” me and respect me and welcome me…but soon they began to give me the cold shoulder. It felt so weird and hurtful! I would ask the narc when we left situations if he was saying something to them because I couldn’t understand why I felt ostracized and distanced from his friends and family suddenly. Then it got worse and worse. And I didn’t want to go around the family and then I was the one with the problem because I was jealous or distrusting. Everything just got to be and feel so backward!!!
When he can’t actually justify devaluing you, he isolates you, doesn’t encourage or welcome friends and family to visit, has something negative to say about everyone, blocks you making friends.
@@ItaHayes YES!! You said this so perfectly! Wow. Just horrible.
@@ItaHayes thank you for commenting ….I so needed that reminder. There’s just so so much. I’m 3.5 months no contact and it’s definitely gotten better but the heaviness and sadness and feeling of loss is still there. Definitely cognitive dissonance still, but that’s better. Still seems so surreal. Trying soooo hard to have my mind catch up with my heart. It has much more than in the beginning but the ruminating still creeps in pretty regularly. I’m so annoyed with myself
@@amyt7378Stay strong, 3-months is commendable, take it one day at a time. I’m five years NC and I know 100% if I ran into my ex I would probably faint.
Jealous was a new word used against me.
Thank you SO MUCH for this! I just left my CN …ew.. no not MY CN…THE CN i was living with for the past almost 13yrs. Everything you said, and i mean EVERYTHING was spot on! I’ve watched so many videos, listened to so many podcasts and read a ton of books and articles on this subject, but your narrating this was like you were looking in the window of my soul. No other media said it like this. And no other explained exactly every single thing he did, including, surprisingly, when you said they’d retreat to their favorite room. Yes!! The bedroom. He’d stay in there for days sometimes. I knew he was hiding. In fact he invited me to allow my elderly mom to stay at his house with us until i could find another facility for her. He hid in the bedroom for over a week while she was there. He wanted to appear as such a great person for offering, yet no one knows how he hid from us for a week. What a jerk. I have such HATE in my heart for this man, i can’t even tell you. He ruined my life, caused me to lose my job of 13yrs, i lost everything in my storage unit, I am about to lose my car, and i can’t even pay the rent and electric at the new place, my fico score was getting good and now it’s tanked and everyone is hounding me for money. I need a pro Bono attorney and haven’t a clue where or how to find one that understands who they’d be dealing with. I also want to warn anyone who ever comes in contact with him to know what he is. I cannot imagine allowing myself to ever see him with another woman that will be destroyed if i don’t. I need help. Please.
I’m putting a stop to a family member and a narcissist ex tryna destroy my life
The music is adding to the fear when ensnared ! Been there .
Yeah I feel I need something in the background to help balance out my average voiceovers...lol!
Without that music will be better for the victim. Otherwise give the impression that the victim can not do anything!!!
It's so true... and fitting.
You do some great videos, this was one of the finest. Some great insight. Absolutely spot on, described them to a T.
Thanks so much, Curse Breaker! I greatly appreciate it!
Another ture video, so on point. Thank God I did not live with that ex narcissist, and I thank God that toxic relationship lasted 1 year it's been over 40 years age. I Believe if I had stayed with that ex narc my life would have ended up just like this video. Thank you for sharing your videos they're educational and informative. 🙏🏾
Thanks so much, Rhonda!
Your insight is well explained and I don't forget what you say.
Thanks so much, Bessie! I greatly appreciate that!
Mine has me stop working 3 yes ago to stay home and take care of his son while he was on the road. Of course I did it because I was committed to both of them. Until I saw his then 10 yrs old son slowly turning into his father.
Spot on
Thankyou
Thanks so much, Fran...I greatly appreciate you all for being here...and for coming back!
Mine was an over the road truck driver. I use to ride with him. That's when I started really noticing things. We spent so much time together in close quarters. About a year ago I stopped going with him. That's when the final discard began. I know this man better than he knows himself. And I made sure he knew I did. Caution on that though because it got spiritually draining and vile towards the last 2 months before I completely got things moved out. He was gone at the time. If he'd been home , I would have been putting myself in danger pushing him like I did.
I'm glad you got out safe, Amanda.
This is absolutely spot on! This is exactly 💯 what I've been going through with my hoovering recently ex- girlfriend! I try so hard to get away & ignore her but she reaches back out when I'm at my weakest or most susceptible moments. I'm on a torture treadmill and I want to finally break away. She offers me the things including intimacy that I fought for during the entire relationship so that she doesn't permanently lose her best & primary supply,why is this so hard when you know it's toxic& ruining your entire life...
Thanks for sharing this, Glenn. And I get it...I was in the same place...it just takes time to get through it. You will eventually become tired of the treadmill, and move on to something better, and more healthy for you.
@@breakingthenarccode Thank You! That's what I'm honestly hoping will happen,& I feel that it will be the case with a bit more time,like you said here.Its extremely tough to compromise most of your likes,and values in a relationship,because you start to feel like you're losing your own self-respect.In this case I was made aware by a caring neighbor of hers that she was all of sudden staying out all night,which was completely uncharacteristic of her while I was living with her.She ghosted me the nights she was out even though we would talk regularly&had instigated a few fights to get me to leave her house,blocked me on all social media&absolutely flipped out when I confronted her with all the evidence& was only mad that I found out & invaded her privacy. Betrayal of trust/loyalty is the worst thing for me,& I know that I can't fool myself to go back with her in a relationship after that.I appreciate 💯 what you are doing here on your channel! 🙏
Cut her off and mourn her for years if you have to but whatever you do, no contact. Just do the hard thing, no matter how painful and remember there’s thousands other victims around the world going through that too.
@Revolver Thank You! I appreciate the advice 🙏
Think if it like an addiction, only you can be ready to put them in NC. Going NC is one of the hardest accomplishments one will ever go through. I can’t say it’s satisfying, or you get some prize, only that in the end you will finally be at peace. Stay strong and good luck.
They wont even say "bravo" because they cant give you any credit or even admit younare right, perceptive or anything other than NEGATIVE or opposing you. Instead, they would probably call you Einstein, some names or most likely not even respond.
Great video!
Every thing you have said is sooooooooo true and I appreciate it so very much!!!!!!!! These narcs know their behavior is wrong and not excepted so they choose a target that they know and destroy it
My experience was online, though the narc did talk a lot about wanting to get together, which always made me cringe and close the subject.
She can come across as this happy friendly bubbly person, but she is full of hate, loves drama, and is a full-on bully and troll.
She has done all the things you mention in this video.
I didn't know she was a covert narc until our sham of a "friendship" was ended.
But it all makes sense now.
If I'd known what was really going on with her, I would've run the other way.
Thank u.
She punched other people to me, and for the stupidest reasons. When she tried to punch me, I pushed back.
They live in an alternate reality.
Im Married to a covert holy smokes people
help im married one
There are several videos on this channel that should be able to help you, and maybe answer some of your questions. Do you have a particular question? I'll try my best to help.
Punching bag is probably to same level as them... more like doormat or toilet... I went from porcelain doll on pedastal in the beginning to porcelain toilet infected with all their crap, peed on... leaking methane gas and loose screws, half filled basin, cracked lid, no seat ever replaced since broken.
The music isannoying
24 years of inferno!
WoooooW
Your explantation show how creepy they are.
Psychos. Oooh...
I absolutely refuse any longer to watch videos that I have to strain to hear the speaker through overwhelmingly LOUD and OBNOXIOUS music. Why did you waste my time? Why did you waste YOUR time?
My apologies for that. The most recent 50+ videos have WAY lower background noise. Never intended to annoy anyone.