5 Signs Your Dealing w/ COVERT Narcissist
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- čas přidán 6. 03. 2023
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The statements on this CZcams channel or in videos are simply opinion. Content presented or posted on this channel is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment or a professional therapeutic relationship. Content presented or posted is intended to provide general health information for educational purposes only and you should contact the appropriate healthcare professional before relying on any such information.
I find the only solution is no contact, these covert narcissists will eventually ruin your life. Just quietly get away and stay away from them.
That is normally what you have to do.
Got away
Ive done this with one. But im a pastors wife and she is lying and manipulating others around our town 😢 also smearing me all over social media. Attacking others in church who dont support her false narrative.
Yeah that’s great if you don’t live with them and can’t get out.
Yes...I did this too. It's always best to avoid any fanfare, controversy, retaliation, and of course, revenge. Just walk away, say nothing, and move on.
It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a sick society. - Jiddu Krishnamurti
My mom used to do the “I’m only trying to tell you the truth” thing to me. Until I started saying-your truth isn’t my truth. 😂 she hated that. Lol
my mother and so
My husband says - is it a crime to tell you the truth? Whenever they tell you the truth, you don't want to listen.
Authenticity = Words that Match Actions *With Consistency
Trust You *
My mother is a covert narc. In my teens she would say to other family members in front of me, “Oh I always wished Graham had an older brother!” It’s a genius insult because it sounds like she cares about me but is actually saying that I can’t get by in the real world without someone holding my hand. - I went no contact about five years ago, even legally changed my last name. Best thing I ever did!
I dream to do the same thing
now thats taking initiative 👏🏽
It's hard enough to trust people to begin with, but after dealing with a covert narcissist, my trust in people especially women is pretty much dead.
I completely agree!!! Except about love!! Male or female!! I am all about getting healthy ❤️Michele Lee Nieves !!
Not sure anymore that love can ever be trusted
Chances are, if you have been with your spouse a while, and you have been reading up on NPD, you will know. The coin would have dropped. The question is then, now what? The moment you realize you have been dealing with a narcissist, that you have been experiencing severe confusion due to all the gaslighting, mind games, the punishing cognitive dissonance, you are one step away from transcending into a more enlightened version of yourself. From seeing a new world. Although, your immediate reaction might be one of added confusion, hopelessness, anger, fear, regret, lack of trust in your own judgement, and a lack of trust in humanity. You may feel the black cloud which is the representation of the worst things human beings are capable of, will forever loom over you. How can you ever trust again? Be happy again? All that may be true. But it only gets better, things only go uphill from here, if you allow it. If you keep looking forwards, and moving forwards. It's ok to look back from time to time, through the rear view mirror, but primarily keep the forward movement going. As long as you keep your head up, and don't give up, your newfound knowledge will guide you to better destinations. The collective consciousness is now there to support you, to guide you. Just don't shut it out, let it in, and trust your instincts and maintain a positive leaning attitude. Do that, and you will start enjoying life again. Even struggles which may come your way from then on, you will find value in, humor in, fun in. You are living life again, and much more fulfilling this time around. Additionally, Want to monitor someone? I nominate Metaspyhub@gmail. com, he's excellent professional in the area of marital investigation, i nominate him because he tapped my narcissist partner cell phone from distance i'm able to monitor all her Internet activities remotely in my phone...
Really needed to hear that 🫶🏽
All victims of any abuse should have their adrenal gland function tested!!!Go to your healthcare practitioner and ask for a cortisol and 😢 DHEA test. We often develop secondary adrenal insufficiency due to sustained extremely high levels of cortisol released in response to the abuse which the adrenal glands cannot sustain in the long-term; they "short circuit" and you end up with very low or low levels of cortisol & DHEA which results in exhaustion and brain fog as well as a myriad of other symptoms. Get tested-- I did and low and behold I have secondary adrenal insufficiency.😢
what can be done about it though
One of the most common phrases: "stop taking everything personally" really beats you down and makes you question yourself and 100% correct about how actions speak louder than words. If they say "i love you" but you have to explain how they're actions arent showing those words? chances are, you're dating a covert narcissist.
My husband's mom is a narcissist. She made spicy food when he had bad gallbladder. I told him tell her not to make spicy food for u. He said I don't want to ruin the relationship with her. I was so shocked how could he telling her dont cook spicy food ruin their relationship
@Coaching By Daisy stop advising people mind ur own business and stop deciding for people who is a narcissist or not by just one comment. Have empathy
I was raised by an extremely covert narcissistic mother. If I had a dollar for every time I heard how wonderful my mother is from people who have casually met her I could have retired a couple of decades ago. We, as 3 boys, learned early on that you do NOT bring friends (especially girlfriends) over to our house unless one has taken at least 3 months to properly coach these people on what to expect. I did it this way, and I have to say that it worked too...my mom never wasted any time demonstrating just how right I was. My ex-wife still refers to my mother as "Satan".
I refer to my Mother-in-law, who is a covert narcissist, as Satan too. By the way, I’m filing for divorce next month. My husband’s Mom can have him back.
@@theofficialnikkisnews, I'm always amazed by how similar the stories are of people who had been raised by narcissistic parents. Believe me when I say "I get it". And good on you for throwing in the towel, giving up on that marriage, and moving forward. Your spirit will be forever grateful.
One of three boys. Extreme covert Narc mother. same here.
The fact that he made me feel petty had me forgetting to check if he was. He seems to be the nicest guy, people would tell me and congratulate me on my beautiful family. Thanks to you, Michelle, I wised up and left. I got things ready and got rid of my stuff. I hid it under the guise of going on a road trip to visit family. The family I was going to visit knew I was going to stay with them. He turned around and told me if I left, I wouldn't get back on his house, and he would change the locks. I quickly took my kids and pup. I filled an R.O. and divorced him.
"so you lied and told me what I wanted to hear"....
"Well yes, everyone lies"
Liars need good memory to untangle their web of dishonesty
This!!!
This was right on. My covert use to make fun of me when out in public. I didn't realize he was trying to eat away at my self esteem. He also use to show action but his words were hurtful. I didn't realize that it was form of manipulation. Now that we're no longer in a romantic relationship, I swear it's like I have to unlearn and relearn everything. It's a mental/emotional roller coaster 😞!!!!!!! He stills try to gaslight and manipulate me. We have to be cordial, we have a son together.
I grew up with a covert narcissist mother. At 27 years old I went to my first therapist and came to understand what she was. It was then I realized that the thoughts in my head were in my mom's voice. Every time I went t to make a decision, even buying something like clothing, my mother's advice and words would be speaking in my mind. I didn't know that wasn't normal. It took a long time to get her out of there.
Great realization!! That feels so freeing!!
And ….. i worked 20 years on my mom’s voice like that ! …… then some how 22 years later… i am working on the same shit with my covert narcissistic husband ! Which my therapists … plural… tell me .. we need to dive back into Mommy issues again! Cuz …. Obviously!
So i keep working and keep hoping one day … maybe i will be done with my Mommy issues!
And then will need to work with my kids on their mommy issues! ❤ lol
Not minimizing anyone’s therapy at all!!
Yep. They fall for that "they're amazing" BS every time. I just lost who I thought was a friend over this. He's trying to help you. No he isn't, he's emotionally manipulating and abusing me. She had the nerve to tell me not to yell at him. I told her to eff off. If you abuse me, I will fight back. I don't care if I look like the crazy one. He's mean as hell but not blatantly. I laughed at his apology in the 3rd person. I kicked him out of the house. He's such a POS, worthless human being. I know exactly who and what he is. I did change me and I grew up and I made my life much better and then kicked him to the curb. I was able to get off drugs and learn to do everything in a wheelchair so I no longer needed him. He controlled through his actions. By aggravating me and frustrating me and by making me, the one in the wheelchair, do all the work. That backfired because I got so much confidence that I no longer needed him. Yep, no support from friends. So I just wrote off the friends. I'm done. If you can't support me then you can go eff yourself. I don't believe ANYTHING the ex says. How do you know when they're lying, their mouth is open. Narcs are incapable of love, incapable of communication, incapable of empathy or remorse. I'm being who and what I want to be without him. I give myself the love and approval I need. I am the only one who can truly love me the way I deserve to be loved. And I will never leave me. It doesn't get better than that.
Love your post and it's true, that to avoid emotional dependency on others, self-love is key and spares abuse, manipulation, and exploitation from others
When I was a 10 my aunt & uncle separated. I always took changes like this hard. She was my moms sister and he was my favorite uncle hands down. He was tall, big, burley, loving, funny. To everyone, EVERYONE he was the life of the party.
So much adoration and respect my uncle had from what was the whole neighborhood we all grew up in. Generations. I cried. A lot.
I asked my mom Why???
I never forgot what she told me. And here now today can I say it’s 100% true.
My young, single
mom said Sometimes the life of the party and the person who everyone loves does not make a good husband,
I got it then and looked at my aunt differently. I started to see the things he blatantly did in our home to hurt her. Hidden.
He did not beat her. But he did hurt her and no one understood. Today now this is where I am. So many of these videos are so helpful. I’ve been married 13 years to a covert narcissist. I’ve hit bottom but I have been doing work. Lots of work on myself Thank you
Thank you Michele for everything you did and still do for us 🙏🥰
So glad my videos can help!!!
I full heartedly agree, your help is exceptional 💛👍
Love you Michelee❤❤
I just wanted to say this because currently the narcs in my life are pushing me to death
I'm so sorry to hear that - please hang in there!!
That is what I have been feeling for a very long time
Omg thank you so much! I've been searching for what an earth my 'boyfriend' has been doing to me. I've lost so much sense of self. I would outwardly say you don't accept me for who I am, I've been shamed about my sexual history but it's so so subtle, if I was dancing and being silly but it's dry humping the floor, his look of disgust would sink in. But he'd always say he accepts me whole heartedly otherwise he would of left by now. So I've never made sense of this behaviour even though slowly I've started changing!!! Today I take back my power!
The feeling of ‘loss of self ‘ is so freaking mind boggling!!! I have been struggling with that as well!!
When?!?! Where?!?! How?!?! Did i allow this to happen to myself?!
More importantly …. H0W to reclaim autonomy?!?!
If I knew then what I know now.
I am 40 years old and I discovered that my mother is covert narcissist. All my life I was living with my false self, because she didn’t let me be myself. I couldn’t express my real emotions. But I am on the way to healing now 🙂🙌🌸💫
I've been blessed with your support for over 5 years, after a 40 plus year marriage I'm finally going back to find myself 😢. Thanks to you! I just found out today after speaking with my neighbor, who is also going through a divorce and leaving a narcissistic wife. I will be sharing your CZcams channel with him. Sometimes "men are overlooked" respectfully speaking.
Thank you so much and may God bless you ❤😊
I love you! Spot On - Nice Hair. A true narc, covert is soo down low creepy and not worth our time. These ppl are arrested development. my dreams told me - pay intention to your dreams they will tell you.
My mom had too little self awareness and self control to get away with being a covert narcissist.
In my mother's house, "I love you" meant "I own you. I can say whatever I want to you." I hate the L word now.
Nothing is good enough for my sister, she is always looking for flaws, always negative, always a victim. This is so upsetting and draining. Her criticism is so harsh and out of place. I thought that she is only spoiled and has a difficult personality but after so many years I finally came to terms with myself and admitted to myself, she is a covert narcissist. It breaks my heart to even think that this could be a possibility because that means she'll never feel the love we all in the family gave her.
When you are trying to make them understand your perspective and to apologize to you, it's always a constant struggle. You try and try, but guess what? They accuse of not to let them be, you let them stay awake, you nag the same thing... yet it was they who refused to have a decent conversation because they dont need resolving and are happy. They let you figure it out all by your self in the middle of the night blaming your self... and you are the one waking up all fuzzy to the next day.
And when you sometime get them to apologize, it's like, "Well... I'm sorry, Okey", but you still have the feeling they actually don't even know what they apologize for. Maybe because of that empty void inside. It took me 15 year's to realize something isn't right.
Thank You for sharing
I know these videos are very helpful to people who are themselves victims of narcissistic abuse. My 20 year old daughter has been estranged from us (and her younger sister and two sets of grandparents) for 17 months and we have reasons to suspect that she is the victim of something similar to narcissistic abuse. However, since we aren't allowed to speak to her, we are left to piece together sparse bits of evidence to try to understand what's going on. I don't find many videos that help people like us determine if someone we love so desperately (but cannot speak with) is the victim of narcissistic abuse from a third party (in this case, her boyfriend and now husband). I would love to see a video that might help with that scenario, though I'm sure some might reach conclusions just from what I've offered thus far. What things might parents in our situation see? Or what might we have seen prior to such an estrangement that could help us understand what our daughter is going through? And what can we, as parents, do about it when we have no access to our daughter? Thank you.
Thank you 🌺💕
Best advice ever! 🙏🏼
Thank you❤
Thank you for brilliant advice❤
I think Im gaining ground in realizing all the narc things are true about my other. Esp when people say how great he is or how funny, etc...ive gotten so i respond, "Hes not quite like that at home." i think ive began to do that not to tell the world what he is....but to hear it outwardly to engrave it into my own brain. Im close to the end. Im hitting your vids back to back and i will follow them more after i end the rel. Thank you for your wonderful insight. I cant tell you how grateful i am. ❤
Right there with you… we got this 💪🏾💪🏾
Omg…I’m in happy tears 😢. For your words. My 2 daughters can tell that the narcissist is taking away my light so they have stepped in and now I spend time with them and He does not like them. As stated many times. Thank you 🙏 for your words ❤
They ruin your life.
Your so on point with me.
I knew absolutely nothing about narcissism until after I ended my 35-year marriage. It was shortly after the divorce that the word “narcissism” came to mind and I thought, “I have never looked that up”. The first article I saw was 10 signs you’re with a covert narcissist. My husband had 9 out of 10. I was shocked. But I hadn’t suffered too much. I was so young when we married, I didn’t really realize what was happening to me. It took me too long to realize how much I had allowed myself to be manipulated. He was actually a very kind man who could artfully work everything to his favor. I was too naive to see that I never mattered. I still don’t know a lot about this, but I don’t think love and narcissism can exist in the same body with their relationship with their significant other. Or maybe with anyone. There just seems to be something missing in them. How can they really love anyone as much as they love themselves?
That’s when I ended things. When I realized he had never really felt genuine love for me.
I handled things very well and the first you tube videos I watched were Michelle’s. So many lights went on. I was sad that I hadn’t understood his narcissism and my co-dependency decades sooner.
Michelle’s advice to respond with “I’m sorry you feel that way” and “You’re entitled to your opinion” changed my whole mindset when dealing with him. I STOPPED ENGAGING. He didn’t know what to do. We had a very amicable divorce. Then he turned his narcissism to our youngest child. I sometimes wonder if he is trying to hurt me through hurting her, since we don’t have anything to do with each other anymore. They just need to feel in power any way they can. It’s really just very sad. We just have to be smart enough to realize that the victims are the only ones to be sad for here. The narcissist doesn’t have enough feelings to be hurt. Seems to me they just get mad or aggravated for not being able to get their way. There are amazing people who need and deserve our love. Don’t waste your life on a narcissist. Thank you for what you gave to me, Michelle. I don’t hold myself guiltless for my failed marriage, but understanding the psychology of it all helped me heal so much more quickly and enabled me to move on.
You're incredible! I like the way you explain these topics, concening narcissists. Your mind is so unique. Being a victim of narcissists, it's really good to watch & listen to your videos. You are a true blessing for this world. Thanks so much for your lectures 🤦🏾♂️🙏🏾💎💯
Spot on!!
This is so on target🎯💯🤞🤞👍👍.these men/ woman are such professionals.
I was a victim of covert narc too, she never had enough. It was draining
The way you describe things is so spot on!
You are a very wise, helpful Woman, and very value your imput greatly....thank you xo
That should have read...WE value your imput greatly!...and we so do!
particularly insightful video
your videos on narcissistic parents (as well as Jerry Wise) are truly extraordinary therapeutic tools for me
Thank you.😢
My mother tells people that she spoiled her children because you know, she's such a great mother and has to make that clear to everyone. And yes everyone thinks she's a vision of wonderfullness and purity. She works hard for that reputation, constantly ingratiating herself to people in her church/family circles. She literally has fans. lol In reality she was constantly angry with me and criticizing me growing up (but never my brother.) I even went through a period in childhood, when I couldn't speak. I felt like I had a bowling ball in my throat. It was awful. It's like living under a dark cloud if that cloud could actually reach out with limbs and step on you. It was debilitating. Michelle, I know this might sound crazy and maybe I'm wrong but I think there is evil in this world and it tries to stamp out the light. I was always a highly empathic, sensitive and happy, curious child and my family almost destroyed me. And I'm not saying they are evil but I do think that some are easily influenced by those forces. I used to tell myself as a child that I didn't want to be like them no matter what. I didn't fully realize what was happening for the longest time but I knew I didn't want to be like them. I don't know if they are full fledged narcissists but they definitely are narcissistic and I wish I had a different life... but even if I don't accomplish anything else in my life, at least I could say I stood up to the darkness. And I know that even that monstrous looming darkness can be extinguished by a small child. Anyway, I always feel after watching your videos that you care so much. Thank you for caring and for being you.
It's good to help others it's soup for the soul.
One of the loudest tells for me is their need to control not only your but also everyone else perception and opinion.
Thank you. This helps me see tiny, insideous things I'm still struggling to see..
You remind me of Eva Longoria :)
Thanks for all the free videos, it is really helpful to understand how these relationships work and recognize the red flags. As the child of a narcissistic parent with enmeshment trauma - I am always questioning my perception and these videos give me more confidence to establish boundaries and stop tolerating toxic relationships.
Oh my gosh, that's what I'm trying to do. Their actions are way too opposite from their words so I kept on asking him wishing he will tell me the truth and that he wants me out of his life.
When I knew that I shouldn't step that low to confirm my assumptions, I did no contact.
His actions is the answer that I was looking for all along.
Very aware of the stealth attacks of one of the most dangerous to ones health and safety and is one of the least least talked about . It’s like most of those with that affliction are the ones are the most area of expertise and just do not want to expose themselves or others that have the same narcissistic behavior. However it’s just a thought ! Thank you for your reporting ♥️😎✌️
Covert- the real demon ….RUN
The more authenticity i showed and the more i healed and recovered, recognizing that i had been shapeshifting and dimming my own light, making myself small around them to please an abuser, the more sabotage and hatred i faced from the narcs. Im considering joining your classes thank you for making these resources available!!
The conditioning by subtle abuse, destroying self esteem, shrinking their personality, literally rewires the victims brain to shut down eventually. I have dual personalities now because of this abuse. I have a Grey rock version of me for the narcs. And I save my authentic self for people I trust and know love me for me. I no longer share anything with the narcs in my life. I am silent. I don't feel any need for approval. It took years to reach this point of acceptance. It's a very heartbreaking process detaching from the emotional turmoil they cause you. Now that I'm fully aware, everything they do and say is so predictable, it's like a sad joke to me now.
OMG yes. That’s the way my sister treats me!!!!
spot on!
Exactly💯 👀
They like to say I was only joking!
Great video! I needed this. It's hard and I question weather I'm crazy or not. But I know she's a narcissist. It's like my head tells me not to believe it when I see it or think about it. 😢
getting stalked and all my roommates are being manipulated LOL
6:45 holy shit you nailed it
That was the most shoking thing I had to deal. Realising the abuse from a convert narc partner, and having a convert narc mother,I both thought they were psycopaths before watching Michele's videos.
My boss of a non profit I have loved working for is a covert narcissist and it’s so hard
I love that you mention that sometimes they do apologize bc that can be part of their manipulation. Sometimes other videos/influencers will say they will never apologize so it can make it seem like the person isn’t a Narc if they apologize.
So good video 👍 First time I see your videos and every word was so true with my narc ex.
So good to know that the covert can be very subtile in insults cause of his hidden style 🫣🤡 I have not even been sure he is a narcissist 🤔
but after this video I am quite sure he is a covert narc. Cause he didn’t really devalued me in the relationship but after he did when I broke up and I discarded him without warning the mask slipped and he has been evil after and done bad things 😮👺
So scary they can seem to be so loving and helpful and caring and then just hide the monster 👹 under the mask 🫣
What you said about how they devalue so subtly and then just make it sound helpful 😂🤥 just got me Ahaa, now I got it 😮
Just what he did with food for instance that he talked about food and eating healthy all the time and not really devalue me but making me feel like I should change even if I eat quite healthy but like candy like we all kind of do 😂
But he didnt really liked candy and snacks so he could comment when I bought it like on a weekend even and made me feel little quilty and I am just little over normal size so not really wanted to loose much weight either and even tough that would be my decision and not his 😒
Is that normal for the covert to subtly comment on food etc and then just say, I only want your “best”?
And can some covert be not really devaluing at all or just do it so HIDDEN you don’t even notice it’s putting you down?
What you said about apologize is so true and I forced him to appologize couple of times and said, If you don’t appoligize I will break up and then sometimes he did it but it didn’t feel sincere even if he know he was wrong and not me. One time he even admitted he provoked me after I had been awake like 30 hours or more and so tired and he provoked me again just after we resolved the problem and he actually admitted he wanted to give back on me for what we argued about. The only time he admitted it was intentional 🙄
So his manipulation and provocation also tells me the relationship was a rollercoaster and not easy and many breakups from my side but I always took him back 😒until I finally had enough after 19 months 😮😂
I think the use of the phrase “your truth” confuses the concept of “the truth”. For example, when my wife was cheating on me (planning to discard me) I caught her and she threatened to assault me when I questioned her comment on loving me. These are the facts that occurs. Additionally, when narcissists go their flying monkeys they commonly play the victim card (which is “their truth). This affords them the right to lie, cheat, and abuse their partner. These people, like many others, have no real interest in truth but in whatever is true to them to just their mistreatment of others…Therefore, there is always a danger of focusing too much on yourself while ignoring the actual truth.
6:19 Yes My Life Seriously
The cognitive dissonance caused by the alternate reality they create by networking amazing friendships, all based on the perfected persona facade they display to others, almost like they have to actively create a cover story to back them up when their victim starts asking questions, noticing the confusion, experiencin abuse, and the worst of it comes when a victim choses to speak up about the abuse and manipulation, they share their truth, and by the time they see the abuser for what they are, the abuser has built an army of supportive flying monkeys, who are victims to manipulation as well, or just as narcissistic and toxic.
Thanks Michelle, I really believe my ex is a covert. That’s why I watch your channel because I don’t understand the signs. I sense something very confusing. I appreciate your insight. Bottom line is the person I think or thought exist (ex), she never has been a reality. I try to go no-contact and she hunts me down like a blood-hound!
Observe their actions; not their words
The covert tactics are so mind bending.... just remember when they hunt you down as you are letting go.... the motive is so they can feel powerful by being able to rope you back in. The second they have you roped in.. the abuse starts all over again. You have to break the cycle - sometimes we want them to leave us alone - and they will - when they see that they can't control you anymore!! You got this
👉Boundaries brother! If this was me I would Value myself and my inner peace and wellbeing above all:✊
Navigate away from the rocks!! - Stand your ground and politely make it clear:
1. you see no sustainable future with her (in her behaving the way she has done),
2. that you have chosen to be on your own for the foreseeable future,
3. that you wish her well,
4. and insist as an adult that she respect your decision; (because privately you know that failing to do so only solidifies your conviction to create a peaceful life as you go your own way).
@@FromSurvivingToThriving The only solution to deal with toxic people is to get out of a toxic situation and never look back for the sake of your happiness, sanity, and mental well being. YOU deserve to have a happy fulfilling life to pursue your dreams.
If that's the case, you may need to get a new phone and phone number. She may be tracking you some kind of way. There is no other way she could be keeping up with you like that.
Omg so this is why i get scared when i am being happyAaa!!
I like your haircut 💇♀️ super pretty
it is all true
Mom always yelling at me to be quiet and be nice, dont say that, dont think that way, dont feel like that
I have learned so much from your videos!! Thank you ! I would like to join in on some kind of course/ class or something …. What i have been dealing with has taken me very dark dark place! I am so lost in cognitive dissonance…. Throw in his denial and “i told you !! You are just crazy!! This is all in your head!!” …. IDK where to go! I work diligently at keeping myself out of anxiety attacks! We are in separate houses now
Do you have classes or support group or something ?
The border to Mexico is closed currently … so I can’t run away
10:29
I was trying to be what he said he wanted me to be. Then he said I was not authentic.
I’m from Asian family and big brother and big sister are important. But my older siblings are both bullies, and my sister is a narcissist. Brother is now dead and I tried really hard to get along with sister but I just walked away. There’s no way.
You need to get away from people like this, even old boy friends, they may stalk you and have friends, and other girls help them, with sex, money or anything to make your life miserable!!!
I always say sorry to end of a conversation especially with a narc because it is not a conversation at all.
Michele, do you do any of the Thriver School zoom meeting groups on the weekends or weeknights? I can't do in the middle of the day and I only saw the Breathwork classes on Sunday at 1:00pm. I really need to join~ I'm dealing with some pretty scary emotional flashbacks revolving around intimacy. I need help and my first choice for group work/therapy was you~ ❤
Hi!! So the Tuesday meetings in Thrivers (i:00 p.m. Eastern) are all recorded and put up for those that can't attend live. We also have Fridays at 4:00 p.m. for either group coaching or EFT (emotional freedom technique) workshops, Sundays at 2:00 p.m. we do Trauma Release Breathwork. In the upcoming months I may add an evening meeting - when I do I will be sure to post it!!!
Or the type of person who tells you they’re going to do something, then make 99 excuses as to why they couldn’t follow through and let you down. Prime example: They tell you they’re going to show up to your graduation, yet use something or something as a scapegoat as to why they couldn’t(oh, yk I couldn’t find a babysitter). You’ll then find out they miraculously made it to some club to support someone else, and don’t be surprised when there’s an excuse for that. Then they’ll try bribing you with money/things in some backhanded false gesture of restitution without ever saying “I’m sorry, I was wrong”. When their actions are consistent and you point them out, they’ll bring up a list of everything they’ve done for you trying to manipulate you into believing that you’re ungrateful, and also using whatever they’ve done for you as an ends that justifies the means of them hurting you. There’s nothing you can say, no direction you can come from to get across to them, nothing. They’re the victim, especially when they’ve provoked you. These people are pure evil. The more religious these people are, the more evil they are. They literally hide behind their gods while they do evil, and they love covertly playing in the unseen subliminal areas.
This covert narcissist directly connected to my inner child and did her best to destroy him. Methodical. Planned. Only possible due to my self perception.
yyes
Thank you for this video. My ex certainly engaged in or exhibited so many of these behaviors/tactics. My question is: Do they consciously set out to do these things or is it just reflexive on their part? In other words,are these behaviors/tactics pre-meditated and are they aware of their motivations for engaging in them?
i'm a worthless cripple living in legislated poverty waiting to die of an acute neck injury that I've been trying to get help with for 3 years. i literally had to give myself a heroin addiction before anyone would listen to me. narcissists are the only people who pay attention to me. cutting out all narcissist in my life now means I'm completely alone.
My x boyfriend is, now still is way. We don't talk anymore but he knows my every move and has other women help him, with sex and make them love him, he will make them love him and then fellow me. I have gone to the police before, but they say I need more proof!!! It is hard because they won't let them see me. Since my appointment was broken in, makes me scared, and the police said I need cameras inside.
I love dr ramani content too but your lived experience makes your information so so valuable michelle! you really know the intricacies of narcissistic abuse and i feel incredibly seen!
Great job Michele. You've come a long way. Totally my ex wife. I was blind to what she was doing because she trauma bonded the crap out of me and the need for her approval was paramount.
It's crazy about these people who set up The gaslight though it's almost more like they must be a sociopath or a psychopath then a narcissist 🤔
Narcissists ARE usually also sociopathic.
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This explains the shitty "Sorry!" I recieved from my mother after she hit me with her car
You are an amazingly beautiful woman)
She is.😊I was thinking that too.
I feel like sometimes people are genuinely trying to help though and how do you go about it with someone who has had trauma or has deep shame? There’s no way to say it where they won’t be hurt
I feel like people throw the term narcissist around Willy nilly and there’s a lot of crossover. True NPD is very rare. Patrick Teahan did a video with the comparison between CPTSD and NPD and there’s quite the crossover
Worth considering
That's very true. I'm sure there's a great many empaths who've ended up being falsely called covert narcs and the like after lovingly supporting a narcissist loyally for years to their own detriment and self neglect only to develop CPTSD for their trouble having had enough of the abuse, if they object and act out of character they'll be publicly smeared and called crazy, histrionic or a covert narc by the narc and his flying monkeys when they finally do speak up and try to get away. Same upon devaluation. It can really more than double the abuse and betrayal in an empath's time of need. These labels shouldn't be thrown around so lightly without proper diagnosis as there's narcs who'll take advantage of them when they've caused others to become dysregulated. Sam Vaknin just posted a video saying Cluster Bs should all be grouped in a subsectioned category under CPTSD and having done my research on this and experienced this dynamic myself I have to agree with him. Being misdiagnosed can become a truly damaging life sentence.
And that was the moment I stopped watching his videos.
What's the difference between Sesame Street (cvn words) and "says-a-me" street (cvn actions)? One thing is not like the other.
I always heard from my mother, I'm sorry, but you......"
How can I tell if my husband is a CN or just a domestic violence perpetrator? He strangled me last week. I called 911 immediately: he was arrested. I making a plan… AND I’m trying to get clarity.
U hv got beautiful eyes like deepika padukone
Here are words you will NEVER hear. The covert narcissist “changed”, “got better”, or “overcame their disorder.” Dump and ghost them if you can.
I was in long distance relationship. I was visiting her every 2 months for weeks and had calls every day with her. But when I moved in with her I was literally insulted and stressed everyday, I couldn’t understand her, like a totally opposite person, tried to fix relationship, I was constantly controlled and lied to, but then I tried to ran away, but she didn’t understood why I’m leaving, I gave second chance, but then it got worse like a nightmare.
It was horrible.
I tried to break up with her like 5 times in half a year, but she always tried to blame me and then apologise, but it was like a super big effort for her. And then after apologise next day like out of the blue I had tons of requests from her to do or buy something for her. I was always fighting with myself to get more space, to have boundaries.
At the beginning she was really amazed about me how I’m balanced in life. And then in the ending I was literally emotionally and psychologically stressed and trying to find place to rest. I was constantly leaving house to just go for a walk to bring myself up.
Last week was just total constant abuse in every bad way possible. And when I said enough is enough she blamed everything on me. When I was picking stuff just to leave, I was harassed, stole some of my stuff, she was even then controlling and mean.
Just awful
I would also offer another sign is they way they joke..as from a male perspective her use of emasculating remarks said and then turned around as “just joking” “don’t be so sensitive you cant help it” “come on, I’m just being sarcastic”.
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